Big Hair Romp (1974) Review

Big Hair Romp (1974) DVD-R Cover

Today we venture back to 1974 and we get a video that was distributed by “Something Weird”. This is a 1970s film that is very much looking like an amateur production. It has film grain, but it very much something that is not part of the professional landscape of adult films. This is as close to a gonzo porno movie as you’re going to get from the 1970s, at least from what I’ve seen thus far. This is a movie that enters a swinger’s world up front. You get natural beauties, normal looking dudes, and set pieces that look like your grandma’s house. This whole picture screams 1970s porno, and while it may or may not be part of the golden age, you’re going to see glimpses of “Boogie Nights” in the way that this is and overall shot. It’s amateur at times, it’s odd at times, and the symphony music really pulls you away from what is going on.

The only information about the performers that I can get here is that there’s some porn actors and some that aren’t listed or credited. Andy Bellamy, George Peters, John Keith, and Starlyn Simone are the main actors. I don’t know who is who, as they all start to look the same.

The story opens up with an orgy on the ouch. A couple of guys and 4 women are sitting around drinking when they start to kiss and caress. This leads three of the people to go to the bedroom. Then a couple is left on the couch and they get hot and heavy. They kiss and caress, and eventually the lady starts to give the gentleman a blow job. The symphony music is distracting, and there’s nothing shaved here. It’s an interesting scene, but it cuts to the bedroom before sex.

In the bedroom, one lucky dude is having sex with two young ladies. Both are brunette, natural, and he is just enjoying it. He’s getting a blow job while kissing another woman, and just when you think they are going to start getting into the action, the editor jolts you back to the couch.

Back at the couch an older man is getting head from a woman. The couch is distracting, but the music turns into a disco, rock tune, that is hard to ignore. The older dude is not getting hard, and it shows. He eventually gets it up, and the two start to shimmy on one another. This is a very basic, kind of mild scene. There’s a smooth jazz interlude when they start going at it, and the camera closes in on a lot of hair at one point, then you realize that you’re taken to the bedroom again!

This editing is jarring, and there’s so much hair. I kid you not, so much hair, and it’s just hard to watch. It’s a weird look, but hey, it is what the 1970s brought us, this is as pure and sexual as you’re going to find in a sex movie. So for that, the directors have triumphed. There’s a switch of scenery again, and you’re sent back to the couch.

This time on the couch you see penetration, and what appears to be a “stunt cock”, because there’s no way our older gentleman is getting this good, but hey, maybe he is? It’s a sideways view of the ongoing sex, and the woman is silent for it. It’s not sexy at all, and while she smiles at time, you don’t hear her or the movement, it’s kind of odd. A piano tune plays, and then the director sends you back to the bedroom.

This back and forth stuff is ridiculous if you ask me. It really takes away from the enjoyment of the movie. But perhaps this is something that is done because this was shown in theaters? I don’t know. Back to the bedroom the guy is still getting blown, and there’s still a lot of hair everywhere. Just when you think there’s going to be sex, the director cuts to the couch again! Come on man!

The couch shows a reverse cowgirl sequence, with our main couple, and the dude cums on his partners leg, and that’s the end of that. He goes limp, and you are treated to a science fiction melody after. This scene is not sexy, and it ends up getting kind of gross.

But then, you get thrown back into the bedroom, with 1970s wood paneling and someone sitting on the dudes face while he gets blown. This is a standard threesome at times, but with better music. If you like classical you’ll love the soundtrack on this one. Someone finally gets on for a ride and the squeaking of the bed frame is hilarious to listen to, as the sounds turn into just sex sounds. But right when our main man is going forward, the camera switches back to the couch.

On the couch, our two main people are just laying around and that’s it. The camera changes back to the bedroom though.

In the bedroom our threesome is kind of bland, but we have a piano tune to accompany the sex. There are a couple of positions, and you get to hear the women moan, but the dude is so hairy and the director’s direction is talked about overall. He pulls out to finish, and it gets all over the comforter, and then you hear the music come up over the sounds. The women laugh and this scene finishes, or does it? The women hang out with the dude, and he gets up for a second round, this time with the second partner riding him for the double finish. He once again pulls out and finishes, and the camera zooms in on the veins and cum that drips out. The jazz tune is so good it’s hard to remember that you’re watching a porno at this point.

A photographer shows up and he gets in bed with one of the ladies, and there you go. Another scene, and he is supposed to be gay. He says, “I’ve never been blown by a girl before”, and well this is a first, apparently, and it seems so natural. This is just a blow job scene with some hilarious music that is kind of like polka, reggae, and jazz all mixed into one. I was dying, and of course the dude cums in our lady’s face, and that’s the end. It’s just a blow job scene. Nothing really compelling here at all.

The movie gets everyone back to the couch and it ends with the men giving oral to the women while they moan.

I give “Big Hair Romp” a 2 out of 5.

This is a historical type of porno. There’s no story, it’s just straight sex, with music. It’s really a highlight of the “free love” movement. It wasn’t that great overall. It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t great either. The editing sucked, but the film grain was interesting overall. I could see how swinger clubs work, as I’ve been in one and this could very well be how it was in the 1970s suburban sex world. As a movie though, this is not grand.

You can find “Big Hair Romp” in a double feature pack through Something Weird Video. I don’t want to see this one ever again, but hey, there are some historians that may want to see this. Why not?

Did you see "Big Hair Romp"? If so, comment below and let me know about what you think.