Edward Penishands (1991) Review

Edward Penis Hands (1991) 

We come back to another movie from the 1990s. This time around we are taking a look at the movie that was a parody of a famous movie. You already know what to expect with this one, as they made 3 of them. This movie we are going to be looking into is none other than “Edward Penishands”. That’s right, the parody, and well here we go, this movie stars Alexandra Quinn, Sikki Nixx, Jamie Leigh, Jeanna Fine, Ashley Nicole, Domonique Simone, and Jon Dough. The movie is a direct parody of the Hollywood movie, and has a good overall script, although the movie is not filmed with that film grain, that you expect from other movies, but I guess that doesn’t matter as this is a porno, by the way.

The movie starts with a woman carrying a suit case, walking through a warehouse. SHe’s tall, blonde, wearing a green dress, and is continually saying, Hello. No, it’s not Adele, but it most likely can have some moments of hilarity. If this was Mystery Science Theater 3,000 you know they’d make that reference. This blonde haired woman looks to find who is in the warehouse, and she runs into a recluse. This recluse has penises for hands! That’s right, he has penises, and that’s it. Mr. Penishand asks the woman not to go, and we get into the story.

There’s a trendy soundtrack for the 1990s that comes into play, and we see the blonde take off her clothes. She lets down here hair, and she starts to suck Edward’s hands. I kid you not. He’s in full makeup. This is a jolting movie if you aren’t ready to see what is going on. The makeup job on Edward Penishands is great, and he looks like the Depp character, meanwhile the woman here is blonde, small breasted, and gets into the role. Edward begins with oral sex on the blonde, whom I assume is Alexandra Quinn. She has tan lines, and Edwards goes down on her with his tongue, and using his hands a little. After some time, we see Edward using both hands in both holes, and he’s fully clothed while you watch the penishands do their work. I’m not sure if this is eroticism or not, it’s actually kind of werid, and yet Quinn’s black pumps make it for me, so I guess there’s something to say. The set here is well lit, a warehouse setting with a bed, and that’s not bad. After some foreplay with the hands, Edwards gets his zipper open and Quinn gives him a blow job. Then the two get into doggy style and things get forward progress. The camera angle here is ok at best, and Edward stays clothed in doggy style, trying to hold on with his penishands. Quinn screams and moans and that really turns me on. This scene becomes grotesque, and yet I couldn’t turn away. Quinn’s screaming is what I want in a partner, I’ll say that much. After a couple of positions we see Edward cum through all of his penises, real and prosthetic, and that’s the end of the first major scene.

The scene ends and we end up going forward to another scene, where two women are talking on the phone. We see Quinn bring in Edward to a set that I is definitely in a warehouse studio somewhere. I can tell because of the shadows from the lighting. It becomes obvious that we are seeing this filmed on a sound stage, which isn’t bad, it’s well decorated, it’s just painfully obvious. The movie continues and we hear about Quinn’s daughter, and that Edward can stay and make himself at home.

We get a firm cut, and we are shown another bedroom scenario. This one features two women, Jeanna Fine and Jamie Leigh. Both are average looking women here, no implants, dirty shoes, and just average elements. The set is lit like a studio, and the shadows play to that regard. We see the women masturbate, use toys, and just go for it, with no real story to this, other than they are trying to get off. The two join one another in a bed and use toys then keeps going, and that’s it. The two just enjoy themselves. One brunette and one dirty blonde, both thin, no major large breasts, somewhat shaved, and that’s it.

After the lesbian sex scene, we see Edward looking at his hands, and that’s it. He starts to imagine things, and realize his past. It’s suppose to add a story arc to the movie, but it’s painfully thrown in place.

The movie continues and Edward is introduced to three new women. They are all thin, and they get sent away out of a room. We are left with Jon Dough and Quinn, while the scene fades to black.

Now we are taken to a bathroom where Edward is with two women. Domonique Simone is an African American woman with small breasts, and Ashley Nicole is a dirty blonde haired, thin woman with medium sized breasts as well. The two start to suck on Edwards hands, and he is just looking like it is pleasurable. The full concept here is Edward just playing with the women with his hands and then he cuts with his hands and it shoots out a little, and that’s it. It’s a short scene, and it’s not that fun.

Moving along, we get Ashley Quinn and Jon Dough talking about how sales are down for Quinn’s sex toy elements. Quinn signals Dough that she wants him, and that two start to kiss. The generic porn music comes in, and they begin. Remember, the set here is a warehouse, so the backgrounds are terrible, there’s blue painters tape along a window frame, the walls are way too high, and the interior is just stupid looking. At one point you can tell that there is no ceiling, as the camera goes too high. The sex begins with Quinn taking off her body suit and blowing Jon Dough. He’s not huge, but he gets into it fairly well. Quinn moans a lot, screaming at one point, and making her my new “it” girl to watch. Quinn and Dough go at it on a kitchen table, no condoms, and it’s just straight forward. The two go through two different positions, then Quinn ends up getting summed on in the back, as Dough finishes things off. That’s it. Not a bad scene, but not a great one either.

Next we are taken to a bedroom, in the same warehouse set that you’d expect from a porno sound stage. Here we see Edward trying to play with himself, then cumming, and running we hears that Jeanna Fine is coming through the door.

This fades, and we see Jeanna Fine and Edward meet in a warehouse where Fine finds out that he has penis hands. There’s a soft song that plays, and it’s supposed to be a love song, while Edward squirts cum from his penis hands and Jeanna Fine dances under it. This is beyond stupid, and yet it’s endearing somehow. This is a very young Jeanna Fine, so she doesn’t have enhancements, and is toned nicely, skinny, and has long black hair. As we move forward, we end up seeing the scene fade to black and send the two back to a location in front of a fireplace. There’s a cheesy song playing, and the two here start to kiss and go forward. Fine sucks on the hand penises, then the two start to have sex, but not before a blow job begins. This is not a long scene. Fine does have enhanced breasts as one angle shows, and she rides Edward while he is fully clothed, until he climaxes and that’s the end.

I give “Edward Penishands” a 2 out of 5.

I love Jeanna Fine, I always liked her work, and Quinn’s yelling during sex turned me on. However, the novelty of this movie really wears on me, and it’s not sexy after a while. Fine looks like a Chicago escort that I know, and well, other than that, I don’t really know what to tell ya. It’s not a great movie, it’s not a bad movie, but it’s definitely one to check out if you’re curious. It’s not going to win any awards or anything, but as a novelty sex film, it’s not half bad. I’d watch Jeana Fine read the dictionary, though. She’s hot.

Interview With A Milkman (1996) Review

Interview With A Milkman Poster 

There are a few tropes that come through in the world of pornography, and one of them is that of the milkman. The delivery of items to the home when a husband is away means that someone’s going to have sex. Well, in this movie from 1996, the Milkman is the center of the production. This movie comes from director Ralph Parfait, and was distributed by Vivid. It was released in 1996, and most likely was one of the movies that was once again screened through the Hot Network or Spice Cable Television. Either way, it stars some names you know, and some that you may not know. This movie stars, Madelyn Night, Laura Palmer, Jon Dough, Kimberly Kummings, Bobby Vitale, Sindee Coxx, and Steve Drake. The movie that we are going to review today is none other than, “Interview With A Milkman” from 1996.

We are greeted with the familiar Vivid Video introduction, and I love it. “You’re watching a Vivid feature presentation” is how we start things off, then we go straight into the credits. It says that this is a Paul Thomas production, and the graphics show up. We have a little ragtime tune starting, and we see a woman pouring milk all over her nude body. I’m assuming it’s Madelyn Night, but I’m not sure. If it is her, she is thin, soaked in milk, has large breasts, and is bathed in dark light. The opening isn’t so much a milk bath as much as it is a girl showering herself with a glass bottle of milk. This movie was written by Guillermo Brown, by the way. It’s an introduction that really is a throw back to the old days.

The movie goes onto show that it has film grain. I love when porno has film grain, and we see a man getting pushed through on a wheel chair. He pulls out a cigarette, and we start an interview. We see a glass of milk show up, and a random dude starts talking into a recorder. This is a nursing home, from what I can tell. The old man says that he was a good milkman in his younger days, and he starts to talk about his story. “I was the greatest milk delivery man in the world”. We then see a driver going around town delivering things door to door and we are thrown into the movie.

We see the delivery guy talking to a couple of women, and he asks if he can help with carrying a few things for the women. We then get moving forward with seeing the milk delivery guy just go through the motions as usual. The story goes through well enough, and there’s not much to this other than seeing that our Milk Delivery Man is top delivery guy, and he gets a silver medal at one point from Steve Drake. This is a high end production. You do not just get thrown into sex, you are thrown into a real story. The film grain gives a lot here, and I enjoy that aspect of it.

As the story goes, we see the delivery man enter his truck and there’s a glove filled with chocolate milk in it, and it starts to spray all over him. He then says he has to change his uniform. Meanwhile, at the offices of the milk delivery service, an angry caller wants Joey, the delivery guy to show up and deliver, and of course the secretary says he will go out there soon enough.

At around the 13 minute mark, we get the first taste that this is a porno movie. It features Madelyn Night as the secretary. Madelyn Night is a thin brunette with large breasts, tanned skin, and a trimmed pubic mound. She pulls out a vibrator and dips it in milk, and starts to masturbate for the camera. A soft jazz tune comes on, and we are taken into the fullness of her solo work. She is a beautiful woman, and the show here is a solo masturbating act. The soft jazz music and the overall production value of this scene makes it one of the more erotic scenes I’ve reviewed in a long time. You hear her moan, she drinks a little milk, and just uses her vibrator for the majority of the scene, and that’s it. It’s a good sequence with art and sex mixed in for good measure.

The camera cuts to a delivery, and it’s Joey. He comes into the home, and picks up an empty glass bottle, and then starts to look around to see if anyone is home. He creeps through the house and picks up empty milk bottles, trying to figure out if anyone is home, and trying not to make any noise. Hen then stumbles in on Jon Dough and Laura Palmer.

He sticks around to just watch what is going on.

Laura Palmer bends over, and Jon Dough starts to spank her. Laura Palmer is a blonde haired, thin, tall, small breasted woman. She has model features, and she wears high heels for the start of this part. Dough spanks her until her butt starts turning red. All the while the Milkman watches. What I like about this scene is that it starts with dry humping. It completely starts with fully clothed, dry humping, spanking, and movement that is not nudity. In fact, it’s a way to get the actors to get a little more chemistry, and I like that part. After some dry humping, Palmer gets on her knees and starts to blow Jon Dough. He gets hard right away, and she just goes in on him, while a jazzy number starts to play. The set has an all wood wall, and looks like a den at a cabin somewhere, while the couch is a light brown color. Dough wears sunglasses as Palmer blows him, and it’s a slow, casual start to their sex, after the dry humping. After the blow job, we get some oral returned, then right into doggy style with no condom. Palmer moans, and Dough seems to have an urgency about getting forward progress into the sex. Palmer’s pale skin, blonde hair, and long legs really make for a hot scenario here. After a few positions, Palmer goes reverse cowgirl, and then Dough cups on her pubic mound, which is trimmed. That ends the scene, and that’s it. The scene is quite sensual, and definitely doesn’t feel like a robotic sequence, which is a great thing. The two genuinely shared a moment in this one, including Dough slapping his penis on Palmer’s pubic area after the sex.

The delivery guy keeps going on his route, and we see him going through the motions, nothing special. It continues the larger story arc of course. He ends up getting back to his truck nd there’s Kimberly Kummings waiting for him. She says that she wants special treatment, and while he declines at first, the two go in for a kiss and we are off to the races.

Bobby Vitale is the main guy here, and Kimberly Kummings throws herself at him. Kummings is a large breasted brunette, and she looks older in this scene, compared to Palmer. She is a great contrast to the blonde in the previous scene, and the two get right to action. Kummings gets on her knees and blows Vitale immediately, giving him a sense of urgency to start. The starting point here has some great jazz music, and the two are doing it in the parking lot, on a delivery truck. She has large breasts, tanned skin, and a thin frame. For the sex, it starts in reverse cowgirl, and just goes forward with some moaning from Kummings, and robotic movements from Vitale overall. She squeezes her oversized breasts, and does a little bit of talking, amidst moaning overall. The music subsides, and the camera fixes in on the action, although this time there’s a condom in plain view. She’s trimmed, with pubic hair on her mound, and the two just go through the motions, getting robotic at the 39 minute mark. There’s anal at the 41 minute mark, and doggy style, with an eventual money shot on Kumming’s backside, for the finish, and that’s it. Vitale doesn’t deliver a huge load, but it’s enough for the sequence overall.

Something sinister occurs here. Someone is changing the regular milk for chocolate milk! Or what appears to be chocolate milk, or something that is tainted.

We see Steve Drake and Madelyn Night kissing, and then we get a cancellation. Night and Drake discuss some issues with the business, cancellations, and they start to get back to the kissing. Steve Drake is a veteran, of course, and we see Madelyn Night earlier as a single performer. This is a little more sensual, with lots of kissing to start, and just chemistry that you would get from a couples movie, not a hardcore porno.

Drake puts Night on a wooden desk and gives her oral in a well lit office space. That’s the starting point of the sex, and it gets underway at around the 49 minute mark. A nice jazz number starts up as the two go in for oral. The music gets turned up a lot, but so does the sounds of the sex. The sound design in this movie is very odd. Whomever did the levels was not accurate. Drake takes Night and starts doggy style, and there’s a notable condom as Night asks for him to do it harder and harder. The angle is interesting, as it is trying to hide the condom, but there was definitely one there. After a position change it looks like Drake doesn’t have a condom on any longer, at least at the 51 minute mark. This could be a blooper or two different scenes edited together in the same space. Either way, the sex is robotic, and formulaic. The two don’t have that much chemistry and it shows. I can confirm that there is no condom after going doggy style, and I’m not sure why that was. Drake finishes on Night’s pubic mound, but she has a look of disgust at first.

After some time we see Vitale getting yelled at back at the office. He is then back on the job, and he continues to go on his way, until Sindee Coxx asks for help.

Sindee Coxx is a blonde haired woman with big breasts, and a storied career in porn. She takes her clothes off, and gets on her knees to service Vitale. The blow job here is deliberate, slow, and steady. It’s nothing special, just straight forward, and Vitale isn’t even hard at first. The director moves the camera around so that you don’t see that action, but you can tell he’s not all the way there yet, so Coxx really has to work for this one. After a little 69, the two end up going at it on a picnic table, and Coxx is wearing nothing but a pair of knee high black boots. Vitale goes all in here, and the two are very close together for the scene, but at the 57 minute mark, you hear the director’s instructions! I kid you not! Coxx moans, and the two switch positions. I don’t see a condom in this one, and it appears to be anal at one point, and it’s not a terrible sequence at around the 59 minute mark. There’s a robotic element to this, although Coxx seems to enjoy the process a little. At one point Vitale chokes her hard, and you can see Coxx not really into it, but if you like hard pounding, there’s a sequence here for you as Vitale goes nuts at a few spots. The edits are rough here, the cuts are insane, and after the hour mark, Coxx seems to just give in to the movement. After a bit of work, Vitale cums on Coxx’s stomach and she moans a little. She’s almost completely shaved for this one.


For the final two sequences we are split screened. There is equal time spent with Madelyn Night and Sindee Coxx having sex with some chocolate milk as a momentum push, and we see Laura Palmer and Bobby Vitale having sex as well. The lighting int he Palmer and Vitale scene is blown out, with a lot of direct light, and shadows that show that this is a set. Palmer really goes in hard on her blow job this time, and it really makes up for the rest of the movie, which was a little robotic. As for Coxx and Night, the two are sensual, kissing, caressing and using their hands to go through the motions of lesbian sex. It’s not a bad sequence, mind you, and it has more passion than the other sex scenes that the two were in during this movie. After seeing them do oral, for a while, we are taken back to the den, and there’s no condom for the sex, as Palmer rides Vitale for the finish of this movie. The sex is adequate here, a little rough, but nothing crazy, with Palmer seemingly enjoying the process a bit. She reminds me of an old boss I once had, so the fantasy was real in this one. Vitale cums on her chin, and then in runs Jon Dough to discover them.

Dough runs after him. Then we are sent to the backyard of the house where Coxx and Night are. The movie runs through, and out of the blue we see Night and Vitale driving and boom, they cash into each other, and that is that. We see that Vitale’s character gets back to being the best employee, and then we are taken back to the interview.

We see an interview with the Milkman, and we hear that America has changed completely, and that the Milkman job is no longer great, and the rest of the degrading of American culture was due to the stop of milkman delivery.

I give “Interview With A Mlikman” a 3 out of 5.

Out of all the scenes, only 2 of them really spoke to me, and they were involving Laura Palmer. I’ll have to really look into more of her work, as she is definitely a shining light in this one. Other than that, it’s a serviceable movie with good film grain, a few interesting notes, but robotic, short sex scenes with a blooper thrown in for good measure.

City of Sin (1991) Review

City of Sin (1991) DVD Cover (from later release) 

Today we are going to be in the 1990s, and we are going to see a movie that was directed by Henri Prichard. This was a movie that came out in 1991 and had a lot of different stars in it, some that had non sex roles. The distributor here was Las Vegas Video and it had a good deal of different performers, and an interesting story line with a bit of focus on graphic design up front. The movie we will be reviewing today is called, “City of Sin” and it was released in 1991. The stars of this movie include, Raven, Tom Chapman, Debi Diamond, Jenna Wells, TT Boy, Trixie Tyler, Jeanna Fine, Jon Dough, Deidre Holland, Flame, Joey Silvera, Ona Z, and Johnny Nineteen. That’s a lot of people for a movie that is only 84 minutes long, but hey, it happens, and that’s why we are here to discuss the goings on. So sit back and see if “City of Sin” is worth checking out again for your adult cinema needs.

The opening scene shows a woman running away from a house and the graphics start to introduce who the characters are. They are typed up in a detective style formatting, and it’s quite interesting to see overall. It’s like you’re watching a detective show, and you are introduced to the people that are involved in the story, and it’s kind of neat to see. There’s obvious production value given to this movie, so that’s something worth noting.

The opening scene starts with a man going into a bordello. There’s film grain here, and it’s awesome. I love that this was filmed on 35MM or something. It’s fascinating to see. The movie goes forward and we see a man in a business suit talking about how he had a problem last time he was at the bordello. He starts to take off his clothes, and talks to a brunette haired, thin, pretty lady named Raven.

Raven is tall, thin, has brunette hair, tan, has large natural breasts, and wears a silk robe before taking it off. She starts to lick the business man, and we get some soft jazz music to start this one. Raven and Tom Chapman start to go with oral, and it’s an interesting beginning to the movie, giving you a cinema feel to the release. The camera focuses on an angled view here, so you don’t see anything too hardcore at first, and it’s blocked out nicely, kind of like a made for cable release. In fact, at one point all you see is Tom Chapman’s flaccid penis, instead of anything else, so maybe he couldn’t get it up? I don’t know.

The scene changes a bit, with a hard cut and we are taken to another room in the bordello where TT Boy, Debi Diamond, and Jenna Wells are. Debi Diamond and Jenna Wells are both older looking blonde haired women, and it shows. TT Boy is a stellar performer. We see a threesome starting to erupt. TT Boy, Debi Diamond, and Jenna Wells start to go forward with oral sex, and the movie starts to really get good in terms of the sex. There’s a bit of chemistry found here that is always a pleasure to see in these types of movies. The room is drab, well lit, and the camera focuses on the hardcore action here, more than the previous scenario. There’s a decent amount of chemistry found here, as TT Boy gets sucked off well, and it’s interesting to see a scene with so much chemistry between the performers, as it almost feels like a contest to see who can get off faster, making this scene quite good to start with.

There’s a hard cut, and we are taken back to see Raven and Tom Chapman. Finally, Chapman is hard, and he starts getting a blow job from Raven. The two get into a 69 position and things start to go forward with their room. The room is drab as well, basic, and not too complex. We see Raven pull out a condom, then we get a hard cut to the detective Joey Silvera looking on ready to bust the bordello.

We get a hard cut, and we are taken to TT Boy, Debi Diamond, and Jenna Wells still in a threesome. The blow job sequence here is perhaps one of the best ones that I’ve seen in porn thus far, and that’s saying a lot. I don’t know how TT Boy was able to stay hard, as the women here treated him like a god, licking, sucking, and just showing off at one point before getting into the sex, which doesn’t have a condom here.

There’s a hard cut, and we are back to Raven and Tom Chapman having sex. Raven is in reverse cowgirl to set things up and Chapman has a condom on. The sex is fine, nothing too crazy, with minor moaning, and movement, the two have no major chemistry in comparison to the other scene going on. As far as the sex goes here, it’s generic, and if the goal was to show what it would be like to have sex with an escort, they achieve that, since this is somewhat limited in passion. Chapman does well enough to go through the motions, and Raven is there as a counterpart, with good lighting overall, but the two just lack chemistry, and at the 21 minute mark, Raven stops the sex completely and leaves the room.

The next cut we see Trixie Tyler show up to talk to Tom Chapman. They are in the same room that Raven was in. Trixie Tyler has large augmented breasts, brunette hair, and purple lingerie. She’s got to be in her late 20s here, and she’s mostly shaved. Chapman gets started with oral, and things start to get heated.

There’s a cut and we go to TT Boy cumming on two women, then a hard cut goes and we see Chapman cumming on Trixie Tyler.

But here’s the thing, Joey Silvera and Jeanna Fine see that there’s a bust, and therefore they run out of the bordello while the detectives bust into the home, and they start to read everyone their Maranda rights. They are all getting busted and we see things developing negatively. During this bust, we see the detective talking to the boss saying that they’ve closed down everything. The boss asks them to detain Ashley Freelove, and she’s not there. The story continues and we see more characters around different homes and just talking. We see the head of the police with a vendetta, an ex con, and much more. The head of the police asks for an ex con to do him a favor and bring in Jeanna Fine’s character, and that’s it. There’s a great plot here, and it’s fascinating beyond the sex.

We move along and see Joey Silvera and Jeanna Fine walking into the woods somewhere looking for a hide out. They eventually reach a house, and they just settle in. I must note that this is a young Jeanna Fine, with longer hair, smaller breasts, and different from her latter releases. There’s a cut, and we see a memory found from Fine, where she’s talking to Jon Dough. Dough plays a music box, and the two are on a brown couch talking. She isn’t wearing any makeup, and has a green bra and panties set. The two begin to kiss and we are taken to the next sex scene.

Jeanna Fine and Jon Dough start to make out on a brown couch, within the new hideout that we just saw. There’s a large black cat painting, and there’s some good lighting here, and the two juxtapositioned with the light, as things start to heat up. This is a slow moving sex scene, and it features minimal make up, minimalism throughout the set, and the camera work. The sex is slow, almost as though they are trying to say that the two are making love, and it works well. Dough uses a condom here, and the two go through a couple of positions. IT’s a workable sex scene, with a little bit of chemistry, but there’s something missing, and I don’t know what it is. This doesn’t seem like it’s from 1991 as you see the back and forth motion of the sex, you start to think that you’re in the 1970s, as the sound design is really bad, with a terrible soundtrack. Jeanna Fine with no makeup, and going through the motions is odd too, especially at the 43 minute mark when Dough is going to cum, and well, it’s just as mechanical as things can get if you ask me. The two barely break a sweat for this scene, and Fine sounds like she’s been smoking for 30 years. She does have a sexy body, though, but that’s about it, a lackluster scene if you ask me.

We are taken back to the current timeline, and we see Jeanna Fine light up a cigarette and just reminisce a little.

The next sequence shows Jon Dough and Deidre Holland in a random home. There’s a blue couch and the two start to talk about different things before she asks him to stay the night. Deidre Holland is a blonde-haired woman with medium sized natural breasts, and is not shaved at all. She starts to blow Dough, and the scene gets kicked off. The music here is a jazz version of “Black Magic Woman” which is just an odd choice, and the two start to have sex on a couch. As far as the sex is concerned, it’s adequate, nothing of consequence, and nothing too exciting. Dough and Holland seem to have little chemistry, but are able to get through the scene with the same kind of gusto you would for your average romp, without getting too excited. There are some nice shots of the two together, kissing, but it just lacks that certain element that you got with the opening sequence earlier. There’s no condom here, and eventually after some time, Dough cums on the backside of Holland, and that’s it. Fade to black, and we go to another section of the movie.

We see Jon Dough show up to the house, and meets with Joey Silvera. Then we see him talking to Jeanna Fine. The two start talking about the past, and start to hug and kiss, as they reminisce about old times. The story continues, and we get more backdrop into the past, and the current state of things, with the police, and their professions, etc. After some time we are taken back to the bordello, and we see a few things going down.

There’s a sex scene that features a redheaded woman named Flame, and Joey Silvera. Flame is short, pasty white, has short hair, and of course you know Silvera. The two start to make out on a random couch in a bordello, and we see the two starting to have sex. Meanwhile we see a phone call take place, and find out that Dough doesn’t want to give up the girl. Meanwhile, we are back to the white couch and Silvera goes straight for the sex, and it’s a fast moving scene, without any passion, just raw sex, with a terrible soundtrack. After a few minutes of doggy style, Silvera cums and that’s the end of the sequence, nothing too crazy.

The movie divulges into a plot driven thing, and we are taken to the random blue couch we saw earlier in the movie. This time around we see Diedre Holland and Jeanna Fine talking together. They are simply together talking and that leads to the two kissing. The two start to kiss, and then start to get deeper into the throws of passion, until they start to have sex. The sex is fine, fingers, tongues, oral, and lots of moaning from Holland, more than Fine. Fine gives a lot here, and doesn’t seem to get the same in return, although the two get into several positions and just seem to enjoy the process, albeit a short one.

The scene ends, and we are taken to a random living room where our main villain talks to Ona Z. This is an older brunette, that has a beautiful face. The villain is played by a guy named Johnny Nineteen. The two start to argue, and that brings about a lot of passion and actually good acting. The acting here is superb for the scene, and as a stand alone entry point, it’s solid. Nineteen is a District Attorney and wants to get the bordello women into jail. The two discuss things and then turns into sex. Ona Z and Johnny Nineteen have sex on the random blue couch. It’s a slow moving sex scene, with little to no real passion. In fact, it’s slow, and doesn’t last that long, with Nineteen cumming way early and that’s it. It’s laughable how little he lasts here, and the camera barely shows anything other than the motions of a cable sex scene.

The movie ends and we see that the District Attorney was part of a larger corruption scandal, and then we see Jon Dough and Fine in a park just making out, because they are back together. That’s the end of that, and the movie credits start to roll.

I give “City of Sin” a 3 out of 5

The movie started out very well, as the TT Boy scene really took things to a good spot, but over the course of the movie, the quality dwindled, and we started to get boring elements and mechanical sex. I didn’t like that, and well it really dragged down the purpose of the movie, right? Well, other than that, the movie does have a great story line, and one that makes this appear to be a classic from the 1980s where you would only see it in movie theaters. It’s shot on film grain, and it’s really good overall, but alas, the sex drags it down.

Witch’s Tail (2000) Review

A Witch's Tail (2000) DVD Cover

Today we are going to venture to the year 2000. This movie was produced in 1999 but was released in 2000, and it is a movie that was directed by Bud Lee. Bud Lee takes on the director’s chair and the distribution company here is Adam and Eve. The movie that we will be reviewing today, is none other than, “Witch’s Tail”. This is a movie that I first caught wind of on the Spice Network, which is a cable channel that showed adult movies, but didn’t show the penetration or the erect penis. If you have seen that style of porn, it’s so odd, and yet so thrilling at the same time. Anyways, the stars of this movie include Julie Meadows, Chris Cannon, Cheyenne Silver, Steve Hatcher, Asia Carrera, Rayveness, Alexandra Silk, Anna Malle, Joel Lawrence, and Jon Dough. This is a higher end production and it has a story, which means it could be good, right? Well, let’s hope so.

The graphic sup front are interesting, with a focus on the budget. The credits come in with cool fonts and interesting colors, and we see a man riding a horse. A woman is on the side of the road and it appears to be back in the day. We are going back in time in this picture, even though it was filmed in the late 1990s, and released in 2000. The movie shows a Victorian woman with an umbrella, while a man is in the wild, riding on a horse as the credits come through.

Once the credits stop, we see a man in a confederate uniform. He comes to a woman and says that he has waited too long to see her. We then see that it’s a woman writing a novel, and is having a hard time coming up with a poetic way of describing the scene. After a few breaks, we get sent to a love making scene with the two characters.

For this sex scene, we start with Julie Meadows and Chris Cannon. Julie Meadows is all dressed up, and is a blonde with a shaved pubic mound. She’s a bit older here, and has long blonde hair, and a milf’s face, with nice legs, big teeth, and a thin body. The scene kicks in with some instrumental music, and Cannon going in for oral. After some oral, Meadows gets on her knees to blow Cannon while he’s still in the confederate uniform, mind you. The blow job is ok, nothing too fancy, and the director pushes you through the outer elements that they are in. They are outdoors, with natural lighting, and the exteriors are interesting, as they contrast with the sex that is about to go down. After some oral, we see a full frame view of the action, with Cannon going deep with Meadows. She’s naked, has small breasts, and the two focus on reverse cowgirl to start. The music dips a little and you hear the two’s bodies hitting one another, alongside Meadows moaning a great deal. The sound is enough to get you started if you’re looking for a scene to deliver a little tension relief. There’s no condom here, and after a few minutes, things switch up to anal and you really get a sense for the size, shape, and overall chemistry that the two have as Meadows squeals and gets louder as the two engage in anal. It’s a good scene, mind you, and it’s well lit with a standard of chemistry that I haven’t seen in a lot of movies up to this point. After some back and forth, anal, and different positions Cannon cums on Meadow’s face, and that’s the end of this scene.

After the scene, we get cut to a woman writing in her journal. She says that she’s having a hard time writing a novel, and she’s not sure how to continue. We see that it’s Asia Carrera and she’s just having writer’s block. A phone rings and she picks up, and talks to a publisher and says that she’s not lost on ideas. The publisher says that the next book has to be good, and it has to get into the top 10, and things should go very well or else. Then we progress with the story.

The story shows Asia Carrera and another brunette getting introduced to a random old dude. He has an accent that sounds a little like Sean Connery. The two women go into the study and we find out that it’s Carrera’s characters aunt, and she’s passed. She looks at all the pictures and notices that in every single one, the woman that has passed doesn’t age. It’s a weird coincidence at first, but she shrugs it off.

Next, we see Asia Carrera in a room on her laptop, when a wind comes in. The wind brings smoke and she looks out into a hallway. In that hallway are two people, and they start to kiss as Asia looks on.

Cheyenne Silver and Steve Hatcher start to makeout a little when an instrumental song starts. The next moment we see Silver on her knees sucking away at Hatcher. Cheyenne Silver is a thin, young woman with brunette hair, a thin frame, and is dressed like she is in the Gilded Age. The two are on a balcony for this scene, and they don’t have much chemistry at all. It’s a function sex scene, with a little moaning, but the music turns down and you get to see it all, and it’s not that grand. The lighting is dark, and you can barely see what’s going on, and at one point it looks like Hatcher’s wearing a condom, but I can’t really tell because the blocking and lighting is really bad. Silver is ok, but you can’t really see much of her in this scene, which gets done faster than expected. Silver is pretty, don’t get me wrong, but the lighting leaves a lot to be desired so don’t expect much from this one. The scene is interesting and the scenario works for the story here, while Asia looks on to see what’s going on. When the lighting gets a little better around the 30 minute mark, we see that Hatcher’s wearing a condom, and the scene really isn’t that fun to watch honestly. It’s ok at best.

After this night scene we are taken to a shower. We see Asia Carrera in the shower lathering up and enjoying the steam. Then we are taken outside where Rayveness and Asia Carrera are sun bathing. Some soft music starts, and the bikinis come off.

Rayveness and Asia Carrera start to kiss, and then goes into oral. Rayveness here is younger, has brunette hair and tanned skin, with a pretty face, and nice body. She wears sunglasses here, and Asia Carrera here is trimmed, and looking great as you’d expect. The extent of the scene is mostly oral, and there’s not much to it, other than just pure sex, with the exception of Rayveness turning away and looks to be turned into a witch and disappears! This was an easy going scene with not a lot of action.

After the lesbian sex scene we see the publisher showing up and asking about the next chapter of Asia’s book. She gets mad, and then tells him that she’s going to get his job done if she’d leave her alone. After that, we are taken to the inside of the home where a random woman shows up. It appears to be Alexandra Silk, I think. She invites Asia Carrera to a party.

The next scene is the party. Some soft alternative rock music instrumentals start and we are taken to what appears to be a swingers party. Joel Lawrence, Alexandra Silk and Anna Malle start to kiss and make out, then oral begins. This is a fully blown threesome and Asia Carrera is there watching, and looking uncomfortable. Joel Lawrence wears a condom for this scene and it’s not bad. Anna Malle is a tanned, loud woman with large breasts and an Italian look to her. Alexandra Silk is a hippy looking woman with reddish hair, full bush, thin frame, and young face. The trio work through several different positions and lots of moaning and dirty talk, with good lighting until Lawrence comes on Anna Malle’s body. It’s a good scene with a nice finish but it’s not long, and just has some bad editing. Other than that, the scene has some chemistry, just not a lot of it. It’s ok at best.

After the scene we are taken to where Joel Lawrence is and he asks Asia Carrera where she was. She slaps Lawrence and runs away.

We are then taken to a place where Asia asks about what is going on. She talks to the care taker, and he tells her about Carrera’s aunt. It’s here that we get the full story, and it turns out that the aunt was a witch and the care taker talks about how he is there to take care of intruders and more. Then we see some laughable moments where he gets a sword and vanquishes a witch that shows up, only to leave Asia Carrera in a white nightgown and Jon Dough to show up as the reincarnation of the caretaker. This is an odd turn, but hey, it’s a porno, right?

Asia Carrera and Jon Dough begin to have oral sex, with a focus on her for once. They are outdoors, in the dark, and just begin with subtle foreplay into oral. There’s no condom here, it’s straight forward sex, with nothing too great to start. There’s an instrumental soundtrack here, and straight forward bare sex. It’s slow, methodical, and artsy. Carrera lies on her back for the most part. After some time the two switch positions and we get to doggy style, and Jon Dough just looks very mechanical compared to what Asia Carrera looks like. Carrera pushes back and seems to be cumming naturally while Dough just seems to be in work mode for the most part. It’s a dichotomy that occurs in porn a lot. The lighting is bad, the sound design shifts to just the sounds of the fire, and moaning from Carrera. The two continue in doggy style until Dough cums on her butt and that’s it. The scene ends, and we are left with the rest of the story. This scene isn’t that great, no matter how much Asia Carrera seems to like the sex, Dough just throws me off as a mechanical participant.

After the sex, we see Lawrence and Carrera talking about how the story just came to her, and that’s it. The two are left in an office and we see the end. Nothing special, and the credits role, and that’s about it.

I give “A Witch’s Tail” a 3 out of 5.

There’s a lot of lighting issues that mired the scenes here. Other than that, it seemed mechanical for the most part, with just a few saving graces. I didn’t find it to be grand at all, and while the opening sex scene does get you a bit hard, the rest is just boring, including the ending. Now, if you’re a big fan of Asia Carrera then you’ll want to pick this up for your collection.

You can purchase “A Witch’s Tail” on DVD or stream it by clicking here, and see what you think about the movie starring Asia Carrera.

Stardust (1996) Review

Stardust (1996) Poster 

Today we are going to the 1990s yet again. This time around, we are going to be looking at a movie that spawned a series that goes deep. I’m talking like eleven sequels at this point. That’s not a bad thing, that’s a great thing! I guess. It’s kind of like “The Devil In Miss Jones”, watering down over the course of many years. As far as erotica is concerned, we are going to be venturing to the 1990s today, specifically to 1996. In this year we are going to be looking at the movie, “Stardust”. This movie was directed by Michael Zen, and it was distributed by Vivid Video. The movie stars Alex Sanders, Jon Dough, Jill Kelly, Misty Rain, Jenteal, Missy, Bobby Vitale, Steven St. Croix, and others. There are a few non-sex role actors, but do you really care? I mean, Mike Horner is in here, which is always interesting, and Missy is in it too, but the rest, meh, right? I know, I’m not a great reviewer. But let’s go to the time machine and see what’s up with “Stardust” from 1996.

There’s something that is somewhat calming about seeing the Vivid Video, two people merging logo. It tells you that you’re watching a Vivid Video. It’s classic 1990s logo, and I love it. “You’re Watching a Vivid Feature Presentation”, classic. That’s how you know you’re in for something cool, right? The opening of this film is interesting, it roles the credits with a dancer. There’s a light in the background, and it’s a naked woman dancing, with fire sticks, but they aren’t lit yet. If you’re a fan of Cirque De Soleil, that’s kind of what you get to start, and then the sticks are ignited, I think they are called torches, my bad. There’s a unique soundtrack, a melody that is done with Peruvian flutes, and it reminds me of Southpark a bit. The credits continue to roll, and we see the shadows of nudity, a formed body, and shadows, which is a nice way to start things off, no doubt. The start of the movie begins with lettering, and it states, “From a far away galaxy…the star creatures are touched by the dreams of Earthlings”, and then we go into the actual movie.

The movie begins with a knight riding on a horse. He’s in full armor, and there’s a woman in a white dress, and full makeup. There’s a medieval times vibe to this, and the knight kneels and asks for his hand. But then we see what’s really happening, it’s a woman in front of a mirror and she says, why are you dreaming? She then starts to talk to the camera, and says how she met the wrong guy, a man named “Bubba King”, and what occurs here is the dude running into the knight with a golf cart. He then steps out looking like Boss Hog from “The Dukes of Hazard”, and he kisses the woman.

We go from that, to a movie studio, and we are introduced to a studio executive played by Mike Horner. However, in the waiting room is Jeanna Fine and Jon Dough. Mike Horner is laughing, and there’s a moose with a cigar on the wall. Jeanna Fine pulls Dough aside and talks to him on the couch in the office, and starts to rub her hands on Dough’s leg. For the record, I love Jeanna Fine, she has a smoker’s voice, short black hair, long legs, and a beautiful face. She starts to throw herself at Dough here, while Mike Horner is in near tears. Dough doesn’t really want to get with Fine, but eventually, as they keep discussing their next move, she gets on her knees and starts to blow him, and he obliges with the next sequence. Some romantic music plays, and we get to the action.

Jeanna Fine starts on her knees, fully clothed, without panties, and blows Jon Dough. Fine is partially shaved, trimmed, and neat, has red colored nails, a light tan, and has that professional woman’s look from the mid 1990s in a business suit and all. She has stockings, and the camera gets right into her work with the blow job. The moose watches the goings on, and tells the director to look at the goings on, and it’s a well lit scene. It’s obvious that this was not filmed on 35MM, as it looks like cable porn only it’s XXX so you see it all. The camera is steady, the lighting is good. Amidst the blow job sequence, Mike Horner starts to yell and stop them for a minute. After some oral, the scene shifts to sex, and Jon Dough gets into work mode. The two have sex on the couch, and while it’s not the best scene, Fine looks amazing. She moans a bit, and Dough pushes through, but honestly, it’s mechanical and lacking passion. Fine is a bit loud, but it’s theatrical, not passionate. If you’re a fan of Fine, then you’ll like watching her have sex with Dough, but if you’re not familiar with her at all, you may think that this is a bit over the top. She’s not that wet, she’s a bit demanding, and Mike Horner is in the corner watching it. She seems to be out of it towards the 15 minute mark too. Fine behaves like a 1 hour escort, waiting for the final cum shot, which arrives at the 17 minute mark, and that’s about it. Fine is in work mode, Dough at least throws in a great deal of pushing, and even sweats a little, but Fine, despite looking like a million bucks, kind of kills the boner with a lackluster, theatrical performance.

We move the story along to the “Beaver House” where we are on the hunt for Bubba King. We are taken to the inside of the strip club, and there’s a crowd of guys. One of the guys looks like Keenan Thompson! It’s just a bunch of random dudes, and the women here are in all feathers, and pink. They are going to do a performance act, much like a burlesque show. Meanwhile, Jon Dough is on the phone in another set trying to get info about Bubba King. The women start their dance, and it’s a very unique, and cool way to open up the second part of this movie. Dough is at a pay phone, remember those? After some time in the phone, he ends up meeting Bubba King and Steven St. Croix.

Jill Kelly and Misty Rain have a sexual encounter on stage for the men. It’s not hardcore, but they are dancing in pink, and it’s very sexy, while the guys watch. It ends after some time, and it doesn’t get too hardcore at all, but watching them dance is truly a nice little takeaway from the rest of the movie. But then of course, after a slight interlude with Alex Sanders and Jenteal, we are back to the women, only now they are starting to have sex with one another. The two get into oral, and it’s all in the pink getup. But what’s interesting here is that the director has chosen to go artsy with the camera work, dropping the frame rate and creating a look that reminds me of the Sega CD, and it’s not great. The two have a great deal of fun with one another, going through oral, fingering, and more. It’s a good sex scene for the most part, and it’s two women that seem into one another.

Up next, we see Jenteal hit the stage. Alex Sanders is in the audience and he starts to imagine what it would be like to have sex with her. The director fades into his dreams, and that’s the next sex scene. Alex Sanders starts to give Jenteal oral to start the sex. Jenteal is a blonde haired, small breasted, curvy woman, and is younger in this picture. Alex Sanders has long hair, and looks like he just got out of the sunset strip from the 1980s, a rocker looking dude. Jenteal has a semblance of the girl next door, until you see her assets, and you realize that she’s a pro. The two have sex in the backstage area and there’s minimal lighting. It’s straight forward sex, with Sanders going in hard at one point and making Jenteal scream and moan in pleasure. If you’re a fan of rough, hard, fast sex, with a good instrumental, there you go. This scene has that, and it’s not a sensual landscape, with Zen’s direction moving away from the action so you don’t always see penetration. You know they are really doing it, but it’s an artistic landscape of a sex scene more than pure hardcore. That can go either way for people. Sanders seeks to get his here, and he is not looking to play passionate, and that leads to the money shot at around the 49 minute mark where he cums on Jenteal’s chest.

The scene quickly ends, and we are taken back to the reality that sanders is watching her dance on stage with a bunch of other dudes.

What occurs next, is one of the oddest ways to end a movie. Missy comes out and starts talking to Bubba King played by Bobby Vitale. Missy gets on her hands and knees and starts to blow Bubba King. She’s dressed up, has a little mole on her cheek, has small breasts, dirty blonde hair, and gets under a table to blow Bubba, while Jon Dough and Steven St. Croix watch Jenteal on stage. Jenteal gets into the face of Sanders and lets him give her oral, meanwhile Dough, St. Croix and Bubba start to get blown by missy overall. She’s blowing the guys under the table, and the show is just going on, without any major work. It’s an interesting scenario, but it makes no sense to the story, as a whole. After a bit of dancing, and the guys cum, Jenteal gets off the stage and pours a beer on Bubbas face! Then Jenteal says that she’s the boss and she is upset with Bubba because he was getting blown during her performance.

Bubba King gets mad, and then we are taken to a noir scene where Mike Horner is laughing. He points a fake gun at his moose, and laughs. We are then taken to the dressing room of Jenteal and there’s a fortune teller, a drag queen that says she will meet a man from Hollywood. But then, we are taken to a preview of the next movie, and that’s the end of this one.

I give “Stardust” a 3 out of 5.

In order to see the whole movie, you have to see more than just this movie. You have to see several “Stardust” movies, in order to get the whole story. This is ok, I guess. It’s got interesting sets, interesting comedic elements, and some great introductions to a larger story, but honesty, it’s lacking in the sex department.