Video Tramp (1984) Review

Video Tramp (19984) Cover 

We go back into our time machine again and this time around we are going to be looking at a movie that was released into theaters and onto VHS and Beta Max from 1984. Going back in time to the 1980s is always fun, at least for me, as you get a glimpse of porno from the past. In this movie, "Video Tramp" we are taken back to the times when video stores were still around and it's one of my favorite time frames, as I love video stores. It's here that you're going to find the stars align for a Jack Genero directed film. The stars of this movie include Jessica Wylde, Tom Byron, Marc Wallice, Andrea Brittain, and of course Christy Canyon. So with that all in mind, let's get to the movie, in which we are taken to a video store.

At the video store, we see Christy Canyon as a video store clerk that recommends videos to different patrons. In the store at the opening of the movie is Tom Byron. He wants a movie for himself and his girlfriend, and picks up a John C. Holmes feature, as it is recommended by Canyon. The box is shown on the screen, and then we are taken to a bedroom where Byron is hanging out with this girlfriend. Within 3 minutes, the sex begins, and we are off to the races in this porno movie from 1984.

We are taken to a wooden clad bedroom. We see Tom Byron and Jessica Wylde in bed, and they start to kiss. Jessica Wylde is a brunette, and has a "hippy" look to her, as she's young, has medium sized natural breasts, full pubic hair, and extremely long hair. She is very feminine and looks amazing next to Tom Byron in this one. Byron of course looks young, because he is, and the two start with oral, as an acoustic song loops. The oral is good, with Byron going first, then Wylde giving Byron a blow job. It's here that we see Byron as "Dirk Diggler", if you ask me. and while the lighting, and the scene is straightforward, the music really is annoying. The sex starts with reverse cowgirl, and it's somewhat vanilla in nature. It's just straight forward, with a little moaning, and Byron going through his usual positions and speed framework that he has in his 20s. The set is not well lit, and Wylde is pretty, natural, and seems to be enjoying herself as the camera moves around a little bit. The music absolutely makes this scene suck, though, ugh, I'd rather not have music to be honest.Thetwo continue through different positions, and it's not a terrible scene. By the 13th minute, the music stops, and it is quite sexy, for a while, but Wylde seems to not be into it even though she moans a bit. Byron pulls out and cums onto Wylde's butt, and that's it.

We move along and we see Marc Wallice talking to Tom Byron. Wallice has lost his job and he is a but crestfallen, but tells Byron that a girl is coming and it's going to be better. That's when Christy Canyon approaches and the two guys convince her to come back to an apartment and have sex. The apartment has the same wooden walls as the other scene, only this time the trio go to a brown couch to start and have sex. Those that haven't seen Christy Canyon should know she has large breasts, long brown hair, is not shaved, and is an icon in porno. Tom Byron and Mar Wallice take turns giving oral to Christy, while a smooth jazz piece places, and she blows the two of them. The performance here is good, with Christy really getting into her role, and the guys just letting it flow with the movements that Christy gives them overall. The two take turns having sex with Christy, there's no double penetration, just doggy style, reverse doggy, and meanwhile she sucks off a guy. That's it. It's a modest scene, with simple progressions, and fans of Canyon's large breasts will delight. The music sucks, the lighting is ok, and the sex is formulaic, but Canyon steals the show with her unique body, and mannerisms. After some position changes, we finally get a money shot, and it shows Wallice cumming on Canyon's breasts, while Byron never really finishes.

We go back to the video store, and a recommendation is made.

The movie moves towards Jessica Wylde, and we see her watching a porno. She watches in the same bedroom from the first scene, and she just plays with her self for the camera while watching an old porno movie, and that's it.

The movie shifts gear again. This time giving us a new vision, with Andrea Brittian and Jessica Wylde. You've already seen Jessica Wylde, but here comes Andrea Brittain. She's a pretty looking woman, with short blonde hair, very much in the 1980s style, small breasts, light skinned pubic hair, and a calm demeanor. Wylde and Brittain start to kiss, and then go into oral, as the terrible music once again starts and loops. As far as lesbian sex scenes are concerned, this is one of the worst I've seen.

After the two women engage in sex, we are taken back to the video store. Christy Canyon and Marc Wallice lock up the store, and the two start to talk about selling more adult videos. Canyon asks Wallice to follow her, and the two end up in a backroom of the video store. It's there that the two start to talk. Christy Canyon has a blue dress on, and starts to ask Wallice to get physical, and the two start to make out a little. The music starts, and it's awful yet again. Whomever picked this music is terrible! I can't believe how awful the music is. The lighting is ok, there's a lot of shadow here, but the lighting is nicely placed, and the camera zooms in nicely through it. It's not a multiple camera thing, it's one main film camera, and the lighting leaves a bit to be desired, as the shadows are insane for this scene. The sex starts to work well enough, and it's not bad. Canyon does her thing, and Wallice is a sad sack at a few moments. He doesn't get hard at first, and then he tries to get himself hard for the sex, and eventually gets stiff enough. Canyon goes with reverse cowgirl to start, and it's good as the director decides to pull back the camera so you can see what is going on. The two continue to have sex in a backroom, and eventually Wallice finishes on the pubic hair of Canyon and that's it. It's an ok scene at best.

We go back to the video store, and this time it's Jessica Wylde talking to Christy Canyon. She wants a special video for her and her man. But Canyon tells her about the back room. The two decide to go back there, and start to make out, and then Canyon goes down on Wylde for a while. The lighting is better for this scene, and the camera stays in tight with what appears to be a fisheye lens at one point. If you like lesbian scenes, this is a good one, compared to the others in this movie. The set is ok, the floor is fine, the shadows are bad again, but the sex is adequate, and isn't too flashy, and naturally moves forward. The camera work is fine too, but the music once again horrible. As the scene continues, Tom Byron shows up, and starts to make out with Canyon as she sits on Wylde's face. Byron takes off his clothes, and starts have sex with Wylde, while Canyon guides the two, and that's it. Canyon rims Byron at one point, which is an interesting finish. Byron stays in one position mostly, and the sex is fine, Wylde seems to like the happenings, and eventually Byron cums on Wylde's butt, while Canyon plays with him a little, and that's that. The end of this movie.

I give "Video Tramp" a 2 out of 5.

Unles you're a big fan of Christy Canyon, I wouldn't recommend this movie. However, Christy Canyon fans, you'll love that she is in 3 scenes, and does get naked and has sex a lot, which is the point, right?

Ginger Lynn The Movie (1988) Review

Gnger Lynn The Movie (1988) 

You didn’t think I abandoned this blog did you? I know I took a little break, but I’m back, and my first movie on this return is a movie that is actually a bit of a compilation. It came out in 1988, and I cannot confirm that this ever played on the big screen or not. It’s a movie that compiled a lot of footage from Paradise Visuals, the company that did a lot with Traci Lords. The original cut of this movie does have Traci Lords in it, mind you, but of course you know that it’s hard to get movies with her in them. While I am able to get them when I go overseas, I cannot get them in the United States, as they were supposed to be thrown out. Anyways, in 1988, a movie came out called, “Ginger Lynn: The Movie” and it features scenes that include all Ginger Lynn. If you’re a fan of Lynn’s early work, then you’re going to love this one, because it is all about Ginger, which is always nice. Even today, Ginger Lynn looks amazing, and well, let’s consider this movie and how it all comes through.

The opening scene is from the movie, “The Young Girls” which came out in 1984. I reviewed that one, I think, and if not, well, you can seek that one out. The scene features Ginger Lynn and John Holmes. The two start in an office and talk a little before Ginger Lynn takes off her clothes and presents herself nude to John Holmes. John Holmes starts with oral on Ginger Lynn. Lynn here is young, tan, blonde, and has small breasts. She’s still new in the industry, and it shows, allowing for distinct vibes from Holme’s oral delivery. After some initial oral, Lynn gets on her hands and knees and sucks off John Holmes. If you’re not aware of who he is, you’ll find that he’s huge, and his penis here is on full display, and it’s before he lost all the weight and looked like a drug addict. This is early Holmes, and it’s fascinating on one hand, and odd in another. Lynn works well with the large size. After some solo work, masturbation, and close ups with no music, mind you, Holmes cums on her face and that’s it. Nothing major here, no sex, just a blow job and a finish.

For the second scene, we see Ginger Lynn in a bedroom pleasing herself slowly for the camera. There’s saxophone jazz music playing, and it’s an average scene, nothing spectacular. It’s a short one, but it works in a very “Playboy” soft kind of way, but it still has some hardcore elements to it, so don’t let that fool you. It’s Ginger Lynn, masturbating, that’s it.

There’s a sequence that features Harry Reems, and the two kiss at one point, but it’s tame, and nothing really to report. It’s a futuristic looking scene where the two kiss in a box, and that’s it. Reems is then seen talking to Harry Reems, and the two just talk about the scene that they were working in. Reems takes Lynn back to his apartment and the two start to make out on a bed that looks like a 1980s bedroom. The camera cuts and Lynn immediately starts to blow Reems. She’s fully naked now and the two start with 69. The sex here has no music to it, and it’s just Reems and ginger, sweating, making out, and going through several motions of sexual intercourse. It’s semi-fast at times, but mostly it has a lot of kissing and slow moving sex, with Ginger moaning here and there, and nothing too complex. There’s a money shot that they slow down, and that’s it.

The next scene features Peter North driving a car, and he’s simply going to meet with Giner Lynn at this point. He is thin, wears a suit, and is visiting Ginger at a random house.

It’s here that the camera cuts and we see Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon making out, nude, and then starting to work with a lesbian sequence. There’s punk rock music in the background, and the set is terribly lit, with a bit too much orange lights. The bedroom is mired by late 1980s covers, and the two women are the epitome of porn from the 1980s. Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn go through the motions of lesbian sex here, and it’s not bad, all with Peter North just watching. The film grain is terrible here, and the two women just seem to work ok together, doing what you’d expect. Oral, fingers, and scissoring for the most part.

The scene ends, and we hard cut to Ginger Lynn moaning loudly as she’s getting plowed by Tom Byron. This scene is from another movie, and it’s not half bad. This is average at best, and it’s very short, only a few minutes, and Byron cums on her back. It’s so fast that you won’t even time to get hard.

The scene gets cut, and we are taken to an orgy scene that features, Crystal Breeze, Ginger Lynn, Sheri St. Clair, David Sanders, Eric Edwards, Marc Wallice, Peter North, and Tom Byron. This scene has some music to it, and it doesn’t just focus on one girl, it focuses on all of them. If you like orgy scenes, then you may like this one. For me, it’s boring because the camera keeps shifting and the sex is just somewhat formulaic, and clumsy for the most part. The editing isn’t that good, but the music kind of neat. Ginger Lynn does put in a good performance, considering she’s not the main focal point of the whole scene, and does in fact moan a lot, but her moaning gets lost with other women in the scene.

There’s another hard cut and we go to Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Sheri St. Clair, and Tom Byron engaging in a sexual escapade. They are all nude and there’s nothing to this scene, but the girls kissing and going at it with Tom. They are all brunettes and there’s no GINGER, and the editing here is horrendous. The camera shows you more of the facial features than anything else.

The next scene is throw into good measure, and it features Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn having sex with Jamie Gillis. This is another short scene, but it’s one that is quite good if you like Canyon and Lynn together. Gillis is a lucky man here, aging, and somewhat simple in his look, but he manages to get both women aroused and gets involved with each one, sans condom. There’s a heavy bass line here, and at some points Canyon looks into the camera, but it ends with a money shot onto Canyon and Lynn’s back. Gillis looks like a creepy uncle here too.

The scene fades to black and we see Peter North and Ginger Lynn talking by a lake. The two go forward to a deck chair and start to engage in sex. Ginger Lynn starts to blow Peter North, and out comes Christy Canyon, wanting to jump in as well. Ginger Lynn, Christy Canyon, and Peter North start to have outdoor sex, and the film grain is horrendous, the lighting is bad, and the camera has to fight shadows everywhere. This scene doesn’t last too long, mind you, and by the time North starts to get one of the actresses to moan, he cums, and that’s that.

I give “Ginger Lynn The Movie” a 2 out of 5.

Look, I love Ginger Lynn, and I’ve seen her in a lot of movies, but this is not a great one. Inf act, it’s a bad compilation that promises 9 scenes and possibly some bonuses, and it’s awful. I could see this being a video store rental, and that’s it for a quick ride. However, there’s no story here, it’s spliced from other movies, and the editing is beyond horrendous, which is why I can’t recommend this for anything else than for observation and history. Other than that, collectors are the only ones that will want this one, not the average porn consumer.

Dirty Shary (1985) Review

Dirty Shary Poster From 1985 

You may have heard of “Dirty Harry” those classic cop movies featuring Clint Eastwood, right? Those came out in the 1980s, and you know that porn would have a parody of that. For the silver screen this movie has some plot, and of course sex. It’s not a long movie, but it’s worth checking out if you’re a fan of parody porn and what not. That’s exactly what I did, and here we go. The plot of this movie is a private detective that is tasked with trying to break down a white slavery ring out of a brothel. The start of the movie features the main character telling you what to expect and how she gets criminals. She does so by showing off her massive breasts. This movie stars Christy Canyon, Steve Drake, Beverly Bliss, Colleen Brennan, and more. If you’re a fan of Christy Canyon, then “Dirty Shary” is going to be one hot movie for you, as she’s in a lot of the scenes, both for sex and to move the plot along.

Within a few minutes, you are thrown into the sex of this movie. I’m talking about 2 minutes into the movie, and Dirty Shary is going down on a guy. Christy Canyon and Steve Drake start things off, and it’s not half bad. If you like Canyon, then you’ll love her here as she more than eclipses Drake. There is a little bit of romance here, so it’s not straight gonzo. Drake warms up the oven so to speak, then goes into full force with Canyon. The two have some chemistry, mind you, but it’s not immediate. IT takes a little bit of time to go forward. Drake looks to be losing his erection after some time on the couch, but he manages to force one last push forward into doggy style before finally climaxing on Canyon’s butt. She seems to enjoy this last bit, even though Drake doesn’t seem to be as hard as he started, but he does ok towards the end, and Canyon is left with a few one liners. She doesn’t seem to get off, as Drake finishes well under 10 minutes, but hey, that’s porn for ya. The movie goes forward with the plot, as this scene was shorter than most modern flicks, that’s for sure.

The movie transitions into a plot point. Shary shows up to what appears to be a brothel. She only has a few lines of dialogue with the mistress of the house, and then enter Dino Alexander. He has a few lines about how he is a college guy and has found the brothel thanks to his dad. He’s told to go meet the DOM, and this is very much a powerful introduction to BDSM, although it’s more sexual than just dominating.

Beverly Bliss and Dino Alexander go forward with a fast paced sex scene, that really doesn’t have a lot of chemistry, until the end. Dino doesn’t cum a great deal, and Beverly has to basically rub it out, which is an awkward way to end this scenario, but hey, it happens, right? This was not a fun scene, and it was somewhat short. It ended well enough, and that’s it.

Spanish Cover of Dirty Shary From 1985

The next scene gets a little break, but it throws you into another Steve Drake scene, this time with Bunny Bleu. She’s a blonde girl with natural breasts and she likes to make a great deal of noise. Steve Drake, for the most part looks to have a bit more fun here than in the previous scene that he was in. The jazzy soundtrack really is distracting here for me. There’s a fine jazz soundtrack, that borders on modern jazz, mixed with the sounds of Bleu moaning. Drake eventually finishes and the money shot gets all over Bleu’s pubic hair. The scene ends casually, and then you’re thrown into another sex scene right away.

Up next, you get to see Heather Wayne pleasing herself, before Billy Dee shows up and gives her a ride. Billy Dee is a strong silent type, and man of color, working with Wayne. I always liked interracial sex scenes, mainly because I’m of Latin descent, and this makes me feel nice about the world of sex. This is a good overall scene, although the music goes from jazz to 1970s soft rock. That took me out of the scene a bit, but other than that, this works well. Wayne is not the most attractive of women, but she seems to really like this scene, and the two have some good chemistry overall.

Up next, Dino Alexander is seen leaving the brothel, and he has no more money. But Colleen Brennan stops him, the older woman wanting a taste of college man sex, and well the two get it on. This was a mechanical scene, with minimal moaning, and Dino making more noise than anything else. The music once again changes, and the two go at it on a couch that looks like it was picked up at a thrift store. This was all business until Dino starts playing with Brennan’s nipples and then the two start to get some chemistry going and really start to enjoy the scene together. Lucky Dino, he gets two shots in at the brothel for the price of one.

At this point, you are taken to Christy Canyon taking photographs of the brothel outside, and talks to a detective that is under cover. He says that Canyon has to go into the house and meet someone.

What happens? Well she meets up with a random dude, and takes off her top, and the music comes in, telling you that something grand is going to go on. Once the bass line and bongo drums start, you might as well get ready for this scene, because it’s the film’s ending sexual escapade. Dan T. Mann and Christy Canyon put on a good romp here, with Christy seemingly interested in giving a good performance, unlike her role with Drake. Nearly to the end of the sex, Mann looks to be losing his erection, one which was never truly that hard to begin with, and asks Christy who she is, or he won’t finish. She then states, “I’m Dirty Shary” and the two continue until he cums, and that’s the end of the movie.

There’s an epilogue where Canyon says that the investigation into the brothel didn’t turn up much of a lead or anything. It turns out, that the house was just volunteer staff and that Shary stayed on to hit up 50 guys before concluding her investigation. So there’s that.

I give “Dirty Shary” a 2 out of 5.

Christy Canyon is a legend no doubt, but the short scenes, lackluster attempt to even try to throw in the plot, and mechanical performances mire this otherwise interesting parody porno. Plus, the music kept throwing me off, and that’s not a good thing in an adult feature.

You can buy “Dirty Shary” from a variety of sources. Including Here

Did you see “Dirty Shary”? What are your thoughts? Drop me a line in the comments.