Between The Cheeks (1985) Review

Between The Cheeks (1985) Poster

Again we go back to the 1980s. I feel that no matter what I do, the 1980s keep sending me back to the decade to check out the porn that came out from that era. It’s funny, because that’s when the film grain is used most, and the artistic elements seem the best. But then again, there are also some terrible movies from back then, so let’s not get carried away with giving them praises. As far as our time machine is concerned, it’s going to 1985. We are going to 1985 to review a movie that was directed by Gregory Dark. The distributor was VCA, and the stars are some of the major players from the world of porn. The movie here is called, “Between The Cheeks”, and it was released in 1985. The stars of this movie include, Summer Rose, Aurora, Steve Powers, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron, Tony Martino, Laurie Smith, Steve Alexander, Gina Valentino, Sheri St. Clair, Ginger Lynn, and Jack Baker. This is not a long movie, but it stars some big names, and that may be why it has come time to review this one.

The movie begins with the classic Dark Brothers logo, in which they claim that they are purveyors of filth. A classic 1980s rock soundtrack begins and we start with the credits. The music has lyrics, and it’s a licensed musical number, as we are introduced to the actors in the movie, with clips of the sex that you’re going to see later on. The song is called, “Between The Cheeks”, and it has full lyrics, and it’s made for this movie! It’s an interesting little introduction, alongside the images of what’s to come. This gets a full point from me, just for the music starting point.

The movie starts with a Jack Baker talking to three people in a warehouse set. There’s a lecture about the difference between cats and women, and we have three students that are playing dumb. It’s funny to see how they try to inject characterizations into the movie. We find out that the guys here are in an asylum, and the teacher is nothing more than part of the craziness. Baker’s a good actor, and he does well here, as he did in other movies from the 1980s. The starting line is interesting, with Baker carrying the acting element more than everything else. He goes through the lecture and it sounds like he’s discussing pimping, an of course, it aint easy.

The screen fades and we are taken to another part of what appears to be a warehouse set. Here we see Summer Rose, Aurora and Steve Powers. One woman is a tall, thin, long haired brunette with a thin face, that looks a lot like my third grade teacher. Then there’s a woman that is a total punk rocker, with short hair, and the 1980s punk aesthetic look, and she starts this scene giving the brunette oral. Steve Powers is in the background somewhere with a pair of white nikes on. Summer Rose, Aurora, and Steve Powers engage in a threesome that begins with oral. The set here is a makeshift bedroom, with lighting from above, yellow walls, and a random mattress. We are nearly 10 minutes into this one when it starts, and it begins with Powers flaccid, and getting blown, while the punk chick rims and eats the brunette. There’s a few shadows cast from the crew, which made me laugh, and there’s a continued shadow near the bottom of the bed that shows you there’s a crew in the lighting, which makes this amateur hour! There’s a focus on anal play with fingers at first, but Powers soon gets in from behind to start with doggy style on the brunette, to the tune of some Devo sounding tunes. No condoms are used of course, and doggy goes forward with anal, while the brunette moans and screams, with lighting underneath to show you the penetration. After some time, the women switch and Powers go for the punk chick while the women get into a 69 position, and we see the sex go forward with some light moaning. The music intensifies and Steve doesn’t hold on much longer before he pulls out and cums on the brunettes face, and that’s the end of the scene. The ending element is awesome, with Powers getting blown after the fact with gusto, and really looked good, a point that has always garnered me hot, including a lot more blowing for a long time after the fact. It’s so powerful that powers nearly cums twice here.

We go back to the classroom and there’s a lot of dialogue and random talking. This is like watching a late night comedy routine, and it’s really only great if you watch it. I can’t really explain it too much, it’s a bunch of guys in an asylum talking about sex, in funny voices, and being stupid. It’s funny, it’s shot on film, and I can totally see this in theaters from the 1980s.

After the guys go back and forth we are taken to the next sex scene. This sex scene features Summer Rose, Marc Wallice, and Steve Powers. This time, Summer Rose is dressed like an extra from Cats, with long curly hair. She’s tall, looks a bit older, and goes through the motions of sex fast. Powers and Wallice are there with fully pubic hair, and they just go through the motions with a terrible soundtrack. After about 25 minutes, we get the first DP of the movie. If you’re into DP, then you are going to enjoy seeing this sequence as the trio go in together for a full blown focused energy movement. It’s a bit unsexy, mechanical, and while it works, you can tell Summer Rose is just gritting her teeth and taking the sequence. It honestly doesn’t do much for me, as it doesn’t really seem like the trio are that into it, and mostly just waiting for the director to yell cut or for someone to cum. After the guy doing anal cums, Rose goes down to blowing Powers, and that’s it. No second cum shot, just one, and that’s it.

After the scene we go back to the classroom and the guys are talking about random things. Then one of them speaks up and says that he was involved in foursome once, and then we are taken to that.

Ginger Lynn, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron, and Tony Martino are in this sex scene, and it has a few guys masturbating onto what appears to be bowls of jello. There’s harpsichord music playing, and the camera shifts to Tom Byron in a red hat giving Ginger Lynn oral. Ginger Lynn is in her prime here, thin, young, and has that 1980s hair style, it’s a really interesting look for her. She’s nude on a table, where the jello was, and I can only laugh at the premise. The four some do well here, and it’s really a matter of time before two of the three go in for DP. If you’re a fan of double penetration, then you’re going to get it at around 36 minutes into this movie. Ginger Lynn seems to take it well, and actually moans and seems to concentrate on the movements. What isn’t sexy is seeing one of the guys completely flaccid as the two go for DP, and he just throws around the rope trying to get Lynn to suck it, but he’s flaccid. The camera moves away from that fast, and just shows you the penetration with some terrible clown type music. There’s no cum shots here, the screen just fades to black and we get back to the classroom.

Back at the classroom and we start to see a random talk about aliens, etc. They argue back and forth, and we are then taken to a sex scene again.

The next sex scene is in a random warehouse, with a bed that has a red comforter on it. This time, the lighting is done well, and the sex is slow moving at first. It features Laurie Smith and Steve Alexander. Laurie Smith is a tall woman, with small breasts, unshaved, and has big hair. Alexander has the Freddie Mercury vibe, and if you see this you know exactly what I mean. There’s no condoms here, and there’s no shaving, it’s full hair. Despite the good lighting, and the interesting sexual chemistry, the sex isn’t that enthusiastic for the most part, and it seems like the two are just going through the motions, which isn’t a bad thing sometimes, but the director is scatter brained about what to show, and therefore it lacks that sensuality that you’d expect. Plus, Alexander looks so much like Freddie Mercury, that you’re going to be wondering what the hell is going on here. Eventually, after some lackluster sex, Alexander cums on Smith’s backside and that’s it. Perhaps one of the weakest porn scenes I’ve ever seen in a movie.

Moving along we are back at the classroom and we see more stories being told. One of which is about an alien and that there’s secret women on Jupiter. This then sends us to a warehouse where thre’s a makeshift bathtub, and some fish on the wall.

The bath tub is on the floor and it features Gina Valentino masturbating by herself, her hair up, and just moaning. Meanwhile, we see Marc Wallice on a nearby bed just stroking himself, with nothing else. After some time the two join each other and Wallice starts to give oral, as the two end up going with a 69 position for a while. There’s some Caribbean music playing to start this, and we see things really heat up. Valentino is a tanned, tall, brunette with natural breasts, and the scene accentuates those features quite well overall. There’s a bit of sex here, but it doesn’t last long. It quickly divulges into a major blow job scene with Valentino’s hair coming undone and flowing down. Wallice gets a blow job for the finish of this scene, and the music throws me off completely. As far as chemistry is concerned, these two seem to have the most fun, and it really was a good scene to see at the end, even if it’s done with comedy music etc. The ending here is with Wallice cumming in Valentino’s mouth, and then we fade to black.

We then go back to the asylum and we see the teacher talking about a surprise. That’s when Jack Baker bring sin a woman. In comes Sheri St. Clair, and she comes in lingerie. Baker gives everyone an impromptu anatomy lesson, and well, away we go.

Sheri St. Clair starts with oral, and it’s kind of gross. The reason why is because Jack Baker isn’t hard, and that’s something that always bugs me about these 1980s porno movies. When someone isn’t hard and they insist on keeping the camera on them, it’s a bit odd. Sheri St. Clair, Jack Baker, Marc Wallice, Steve Powers, and Tony Martino are the featured players in this scene, and it’s a sexual romp that is absolutely awful overall. It’s not sexy at all, and it’s supposed to be a lesson in how to have sex for the asylum guys. At one point Baker masturbates but isn’t hard, and it’s probably one of the grosses scenes I’ve seen in porn, although he eventually gets it up and cums on St. Clair. After he’s done, the other guys come through and start to have sex with St. Clair. St. Clair is a tall brunette with black lingerie, and looks a little older. She has full pubic hair, and seems to enjoy the process of working with the guys, but it’s a mechanical scene otherwise, and just a paint by numbers sex scene. It ends abruptly, and we get the song from the beginning. That’s it, the movie ends and we get the credits rolling.

I give “Between The Cheeks” a 1 out of 5.

I should give this movie a 0 out of 5, but there are some moments that are interesting, including some nice set design and interesting music. Other than that, this is perhaps one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my 100 plus reviews. It’s so bad, that I don’t even know what to tell you more about this. It has an interesting cover, and if you saw it in rental stores, you probably would’ve rented it, but other than that, this is a movie that is lacking in anything sexy, and perhaps it will work in a pinch, but not for me. Not even Ginger Lynn’s DP scene can save me from this one, although she’s a lovely lady none the less.