Hollywood Heartbreakers (1985) Review

Hollywood Heartbreakers (1985) Poster

Before the year is over, let’s get into the world of the 1980s and see a movie that has some famous names, and some scenic backgrounds. This is a movie that ends this year with a huge bang, as you’re going to find that the stars here are from what I consider the golden era of adult cinema, even if there are others that will disagree with me. Who’s in this one? Well, let me just say, it’s one hell of a line up. The stars of this movie include, Amber Lynn, David Sanders, Beverly Bliss, Craig Roberts, Traci Lords, Tony Martino, Nicole West, Peter North, Gina Valentino, Rick Savage, and Greg Rome. This is a full scale production, with film grain, and a full theme song that sounds like The Go Gos and it’s not half bad. The director here is Mark Curtis, and the movie is from 1985, and it is called “Hollywood Heartbreakers”. So let’s dive into this classic from the golden era, as it’s one that you can’t find many places.

The movie starts with a blonde driving a BMW, and she picks up a car phone. It’s a guy named Tony and he says that she needs to get there fast. She says that she will arrive soon. That’s when the music starts to drop off a little, and we see a brunette that talks about wanting to suck off the guy named Tony. She starts to undress, showing off small breasts, red painted finger nails, red lips, light skin, and dirty talk. She talks like a woman that is having phone sex, slow and deliberate, and starts to strip off her clothes, until she shows off her pubic region, that has not been shaved at all. The music dims a bit more, and you hear her moaning a little as the camera goes up and down on the woman. The camera then switches to the driving woman, that is going up PCH in 1985, which is California, for those that don’t know.

Amber Lynn shows up at the door of David Sanders, and says that she was instructed to take care of a package. That’s when David Sanders starts to kiss her, and the porno music starts. A rock guitar riffs begin and Amber Lynn, a dirty blonde, with bright red lipstick starts to suck off Sanders from a limp starting point. The scene starts with a blow job, and full nudity, and no one is shaved here. If you’re a fan of the classics, you’ll love that the two get into 69 within 7 minutes of the movie, and Amber Lynn seems to really enjoy her work here, giving Sanders one hell of a blow job while he gives her oral on the other side, not minding the hair. Sanders isn’t huge, but he works with Lynn well enough. The camera work is bad though, the lighting is not great, and the shots of close ups are mired here and there with bad zooming in and out. The set here is a bit dark, it doesn’t look like a warehouse, but more likely a condo somewhere in the San Fernando Valley. The two go through a couple of positions, without condoms, and just go through the motions. Lynn doesn’t moan a lot, but a little here and there, and the music doesn’t fit the sex here, though I appreciate the attempt at original music. It’s not cliche at all, mind you. After some back and forth, and a bit of moaning, Sanders cannot hang on and eventually cums on Lynn’s stomach, pulling out and letting it fly, the camera slows down for it. Sanders lasts a while, but it’s not a marathon session at all. Lynn says that she takes good care of packages, and that’s it.

Next thing we see is Amber Lynn getting to a phone and saying that she needs to check in on the other girls. We see Sanders pull out some money and then put it into her purse, and that’s it. The scan ends, and then we are taken to another woman. This time around we see Traci Lords putting on make up, getting ready to meet a client, as she picks up her phone, on the sunset strip.

Before seeing any action, we get a cut scene with Beverly Bliss having sex with a random guy named Tony. Then spliced into that, is Traci Lords driving a car. I just wanted to point out that if she was so young, why is she driving on camera? She’s got one hell of a car too, and this is not stunt driving, or anything fake, it’s legit, she’s driving what appears to be a Thunderbird. She visits Tony Martino.

Before the sex starts, we get a strip tease with Lords coming down some stairs, then kissing Tony Martino. The two get fully nude and begin with a little foreplay, Martino sucking and kissing Lords’ breasts. The two are outdoors, in the backyard of a mansion, overlooking Los Angeles. Tony Martino goes down on Lords right away, and the music here is quaint, piano music. The lighting is bad, with lots of shadows, and lots of sunlight obscuring some of the natural shots. Lords moans and moves a lot here, before Tony finally puts his hardness into Lords doggy style. Martino is not a good looking guy by any stretch, mind you. At the 26 minute mark, though, the action gets faster and harder, and the music changes to a 1980s rock tune, which I appreciated. That juxtaposes Lords moaning and gyrations, which intensify as she nearly screams in pleasure. This could be the most intense scene I’ve seen with Lords in it, and Martino does his job well, ugly as he is, and the two work well enough as the music goes faster and Martino just loses himself in the situation. Martino can’t hold his load, after a quick changeover, and cums on Lords’ face and chest, then rubs himself on her after the fact. You can almost hear the director yell cut, but the two end up kissing as the final moments close on this scene, and we fade into another point. New music picks up, Lords picks up her cash, which is only 300 dollars, which is standard for an hour with a mid-range escort, right? Just saying.

We see another woman riding around in a car. We get a conference call, and it’s Tony with Traci and Nicole, and we get a little nod to “Charlies Angels” complete with music. We also see a bit of sex with the guy named Tony, and his chick, but we don’t see his face, yet. It’s just a lot of hair, and a close up of the in and out process of the sexual landscape.

The next scene shows Traci Lords and Nicole West arriving at a home in Bel Air. There’s a hard cut, and we see a darkened warehouse set, with a boring looking couch, and a flaccid Peter North hanging out naked. Lords and West go inside the home, and they start to play with North. Music kicks in, the women take their tops off, and we start to get forward progress. The sex starts with Traci Lords riding Peter North’s face, while Nicole West gives him a blow job. The two women take turns going at North at the 35 minute mark with a blow job sequence that is epic. I’m talking dual blowing, North nearly humming straight out, and the two women focusing on his member in a way that you don’t really see in modern era film. It’s like West and Lords wanted to outdo each other, or they were just into this that much, I don’t know, but this sequence is intense, and really something that elevates this movie’s rating a lot more than the previous scenes. After dual blow jobs, North gives Lords the Russian treatment, between her breasts, while West gives her oral, as the music starts to intensify with drums and 80s bravado. There’s a cool visual design flow here, with North having sex in doggy style with Lords while a chair with two hands seem to be on her breasts. If you’ve seen this, then you know! This is a very cool effect, while the background of the set has antlers everywhere, like it’s a cabin or something. North looks like he’s going to cum any second, and he really does seem to be enjoying the process with Lords, as she moans and quivers. At one point West gets in the action, and Lords gives North a rim job, then at one point it appears that West fists North at around 42 minutes. The edit shifts and goes back to straight sex with reverse cowgirl and Lords with North, but I know what I saw, it was very odd, but the director decided to cut a little of it out. If you’re a fan of natural sex, with hair, and all that jazz, you’ll like this scene, even if the lighting and set leaves something to be desired. Lords and West seem to really like each other, mind you, and North is just a willing party here, and keeps it up as long as he can. This is a lengthy scene for the 1980s, mind you. After the sex seems to get boring, North cums on the two women’s chest, and then we get splicing in some of the past sequences, and it’s all over with a nice blast from North. Not his biggest load, but a nice quality one none the less. The women squirm, the film slows down, and for whatever reason the director focuses on North’s face before we get a hard cut and a new scene.

Gina Valentino is driving, and picks up the car phone to find out that she has a date. Tony is scene having sex again, and it’s the same sequence that you got earlier.

At this point, you see that Gina is headed to Marina Del Rey California, and that’s a throw back for me, since I lived in the area for some time.

We move along and we get to a point where we see Gina Valentino stripping for Rick Savage. Savage watches on, and the two are going to be moving forward with ease. Valentino has small breasts, shoulder length, teased brunette hair, is all natural, yet has a pubic mound that is trimmed. She starts to masturbate, and Savage looks on. The two have sex, and it’s probably one of the most boring sex scenes I’ve seen in a long time. Savage looks like he is really concentrating here, and Valentino is just going through the motions, allowing her lover to just go to town. After some time in Doggy Style, Savage cums on the lower back of Valentino and that’s it, perhaps one of the most formulaic scenes I’ve ever seen, dropping the rating on this one a lot lower than the previous scene.

Up next, we see the same splicing in of sex from Tony, and we see Amber Lynn driving around. She eventually pulls up to a house, in a red dress, and talks to Greg Rome and Ron Jeremy poolside. They banter a little and then move inside.

We go inside with a hard cut, and everyone’s already nude. There’s a heavy bass line started, and a rock guitar with some nice drumming to go along, as we move in with the camera. The set here is a den from the 1980s, with bad carpeting, terrible looking couch, and of course that 1980s aesthetic in terms of filming. Rome gets blown by Amber Lynn, a tight blonde, while Ron Jeremy gives her doggy style. The thing to look out for here is the fact that Ron Jeremy is thin, and makes his penis look a lot larger, because of course it’s about 9 inches long, from what I’ve read. Either way, he is in his prime here, and he’s fit, and just goes for it with Lynn. It’s impressive to see Jeremy in his prime, not as the hedgehog later on, but rather his thin, progressive self. If you’ve read his book, then you know how hard working he was as a porno actor, director, and more. It shows here, as he steals the show here with Lynn. You get multiple positions, a threesome that lasts a while, and of course the cum shot with the crossing of swords several times, which is odd. Rome and Jeremy are big, close in size here, and Lynn tries to take them on both at the end with cum going on her face to finish things off. The music really gets good here, mind you.

We move along, and there’s a hard cut, and Amber Lynn calls in to Tony and we then see Tony’s face and the sex he’s been having, finishes up. It ends with a blow job and cum in mouth, and that’s the end of the movie. Tony is a pimp, and it’s all said and done.

I give “Hollywood Heartbreakers” a 3 out of 5.

Not even Ron Jeremy and Traci Lords can save the rest of this movie from boring me. However, Lords and Jeremy are in their prime, and if you can find this movie, good luck. It’s borderline illegal to have this. I was able to procure a copy while I was visiting Japan, and got this on Beta Max, because I’m insane. In the United States, you’ll have to get creative if you want a copy, otherwise, you cannot buy this from an affiliate or anything. Good luck.

Between The Cheeks (1985) Review

Between The Cheeks (1985) Poster

Again we go back to the 1980s. I feel that no matter what I do, the 1980s keep sending me back to the decade to check out the porn that came out from that era. It’s funny, because that’s when the film grain is used most, and the artistic elements seem the best. But then again, there are also some terrible movies from back then, so let’s not get carried away with giving them praises. As far as our time machine is concerned, it’s going to 1985. We are going to 1985 to review a movie that was directed by Gregory Dark. The distributor was VCA, and the stars are some of the major players from the world of porn. The movie here is called, “Between The Cheeks”, and it was released in 1985. The stars of this movie include, Summer Rose, Aurora, Steve Powers, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron, Tony Martino, Laurie Smith, Steve Alexander, Gina Valentino, Sheri St. Clair, Ginger Lynn, and Jack Baker. This is not a long movie, but it stars some big names, and that may be why it has come time to review this one.

The movie begins with the classic Dark Brothers logo, in which they claim that they are purveyors of filth. A classic 1980s rock soundtrack begins and we start with the credits. The music has lyrics, and it’s a licensed musical number, as we are introduced to the actors in the movie, with clips of the sex that you’re going to see later on. The song is called, “Between The Cheeks”, and it has full lyrics, and it’s made for this movie! It’s an interesting little introduction, alongside the images of what’s to come. This gets a full point from me, just for the music starting point.

The movie starts with a Jack Baker talking to three people in a warehouse set. There’s a lecture about the difference between cats and women, and we have three students that are playing dumb. It’s funny to see how they try to inject characterizations into the movie. We find out that the guys here are in an asylum, and the teacher is nothing more than part of the craziness. Baker’s a good actor, and he does well here, as he did in other movies from the 1980s. The starting line is interesting, with Baker carrying the acting element more than everything else. He goes through the lecture and it sounds like he’s discussing pimping, an of course, it aint easy.

The screen fades and we are taken to another part of what appears to be a warehouse set. Here we see Summer Rose, Aurora and Steve Powers. One woman is a tall, thin, long haired brunette with a thin face, that looks a lot like my third grade teacher. Then there’s a woman that is a total punk rocker, with short hair, and the 1980s punk aesthetic look, and she starts this scene giving the brunette oral. Steve Powers is in the background somewhere with a pair of white nikes on. Summer Rose, Aurora, and Steve Powers engage in a threesome that begins with oral. The set here is a makeshift bedroom, with lighting from above, yellow walls, and a random mattress. We are nearly 10 minutes into this one when it starts, and it begins with Powers flaccid, and getting blown, while the punk chick rims and eats the brunette. There’s a few shadows cast from the crew, which made me laugh, and there’s a continued shadow near the bottom of the bed that shows you there’s a crew in the lighting, which makes this amateur hour! There’s a focus on anal play with fingers at first, but Powers soon gets in from behind to start with doggy style on the brunette, to the tune of some Devo sounding tunes. No condoms are used of course, and doggy goes forward with anal, while the brunette moans and screams, with lighting underneath to show you the penetration. After some time, the women switch and Powers go for the punk chick while the women get into a 69 position, and we see the sex go forward with some light moaning. The music intensifies and Steve doesn’t hold on much longer before he pulls out and cums on the brunettes face, and that’s the end of the scene. The ending element is awesome, with Powers getting blown after the fact with gusto, and really looked good, a point that has always garnered me hot, including a lot more blowing for a long time after the fact. It’s so powerful that powers nearly cums twice here.

We go back to the classroom and there’s a lot of dialogue and random talking. This is like watching a late night comedy routine, and it’s really only great if you watch it. I can’t really explain it too much, it’s a bunch of guys in an asylum talking about sex, in funny voices, and being stupid. It’s funny, it’s shot on film, and I can totally see this in theaters from the 1980s.

After the guys go back and forth we are taken to the next sex scene. This sex scene features Summer Rose, Marc Wallice, and Steve Powers. This time, Summer Rose is dressed like an extra from Cats, with long curly hair. She’s tall, looks a bit older, and goes through the motions of sex fast. Powers and Wallice are there with fully pubic hair, and they just go through the motions with a terrible soundtrack. After about 25 minutes, we get the first DP of the movie. If you’re into DP, then you are going to enjoy seeing this sequence as the trio go in together for a full blown focused energy movement. It’s a bit unsexy, mechanical, and while it works, you can tell Summer Rose is just gritting her teeth and taking the sequence. It honestly doesn’t do much for me, as it doesn’t really seem like the trio are that into it, and mostly just waiting for the director to yell cut or for someone to cum. After the guy doing anal cums, Rose goes down to blowing Powers, and that’s it. No second cum shot, just one, and that’s it.

After the scene we go back to the classroom and the guys are talking about random things. Then one of them speaks up and says that he was involved in foursome once, and then we are taken to that.

Ginger Lynn, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron, and Tony Martino are in this sex scene, and it has a few guys masturbating onto what appears to be bowls of jello. There’s harpsichord music playing, and the camera shifts to Tom Byron in a red hat giving Ginger Lynn oral. Ginger Lynn is in her prime here, thin, young, and has that 1980s hair style, it’s a really interesting look for her. She’s nude on a table, where the jello was, and I can only laugh at the premise. The four some do well here, and it’s really a matter of time before two of the three go in for DP. If you’re a fan of double penetration, then you’re going to get it at around 36 minutes into this movie. Ginger Lynn seems to take it well, and actually moans and seems to concentrate on the movements. What isn’t sexy is seeing one of the guys completely flaccid as the two go for DP, and he just throws around the rope trying to get Lynn to suck it, but he’s flaccid. The camera moves away from that fast, and just shows you the penetration with some terrible clown type music. There’s no cum shots here, the screen just fades to black and we get back to the classroom.

Back at the classroom and we start to see a random talk about aliens, etc. They argue back and forth, and we are then taken to a sex scene again.

The next sex scene is in a random warehouse, with a bed that has a red comforter on it. This time, the lighting is done well, and the sex is slow moving at first. It features Laurie Smith and Steve Alexander. Laurie Smith is a tall woman, with small breasts, unshaved, and has big hair. Alexander has the Freddie Mercury vibe, and if you see this you know exactly what I mean. There’s no condoms here, and there’s no shaving, it’s full hair. Despite the good lighting, and the interesting sexual chemistry, the sex isn’t that enthusiastic for the most part, and it seems like the two are just going through the motions, which isn’t a bad thing sometimes, but the director is scatter brained about what to show, and therefore it lacks that sensuality that you’d expect. Plus, Alexander looks so much like Freddie Mercury, that you’re going to be wondering what the hell is going on here. Eventually, after some lackluster sex, Alexander cums on Smith’s backside and that’s it. Perhaps one of the weakest porn scenes I’ve ever seen in a movie.

Moving along we are back at the classroom and we see more stories being told. One of which is about an alien and that there’s secret women on Jupiter. This then sends us to a warehouse where thre’s a makeshift bathtub, and some fish on the wall.

The bath tub is on the floor and it features Gina Valentino masturbating by herself, her hair up, and just moaning. Meanwhile, we see Marc Wallice on a nearby bed just stroking himself, with nothing else. After some time the two join each other and Wallice starts to give oral, as the two end up going with a 69 position for a while. There’s some Caribbean music playing to start this, and we see things really heat up. Valentino is a tanned, tall, brunette with natural breasts, and the scene accentuates those features quite well overall. There’s a bit of sex here, but it doesn’t last long. It quickly divulges into a major blow job scene with Valentino’s hair coming undone and flowing down. Wallice gets a blow job for the finish of this scene, and the music throws me off completely. As far as chemistry is concerned, these two seem to have the most fun, and it really was a good scene to see at the end, even if it’s done with comedy music etc. The ending here is with Wallice cumming in Valentino’s mouth, and then we fade to black.

We then go back to the asylum and we see the teacher talking about a surprise. That’s when Jack Baker bring sin a woman. In comes Sheri St. Clair, and she comes in lingerie. Baker gives everyone an impromptu anatomy lesson, and well, away we go.

Sheri St. Clair starts with oral, and it’s kind of gross. The reason why is because Jack Baker isn’t hard, and that’s something that always bugs me about these 1980s porno movies. When someone isn’t hard and they insist on keeping the camera on them, it’s a bit odd. Sheri St. Clair, Jack Baker, Marc Wallice, Steve Powers, and Tony Martino are the featured players in this scene, and it’s a sexual romp that is absolutely awful overall. It’s not sexy at all, and it’s supposed to be a lesson in how to have sex for the asylum guys. At one point Baker masturbates but isn’t hard, and it’s probably one of the grosses scenes I’ve seen in porn, although he eventually gets it up and cums on St. Clair. After he’s done, the other guys come through and start to have sex with St. Clair. St. Clair is a tall brunette with black lingerie, and looks a little older. She has full pubic hair, and seems to enjoy the process of working with the guys, but it’s a mechanical scene otherwise, and just a paint by numbers sex scene. It ends abruptly, and we get the song from the beginning. That’s it, the movie ends and we get the credits rolling.

I give “Between The Cheeks” a 1 out of 5.

I should give this movie a 0 out of 5, but there are some moments that are interesting, including some nice set design and interesting music. Other than that, this is perhaps one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my 100 plus reviews. It’s so bad, that I don’t even know what to tell you more about this. It has an interesting cover, and if you saw it in rental stores, you probably would’ve rented it, but other than that, this is a movie that is lacking in anything sexy, and perhaps it will work in a pinch, but not for me. Not even Ginger Lynn’s DP scene can save me from this one, although she’s a lovely lady none the less.

Poonies (1985) Review

The Poonies (1985) Poster

I’m not always a fan of parody porno movies, but here and there they come into my queue for review and I have to review them. That’s exactly what is going down today, a review of a parody from 1985. So we go into our time machine, and go back to 1985 where the porno was different, and there were a lot more stories involved. In the case of this movie, we are going to be seeing a collection of stars in one place for a movie called, “Poonies”, a parody of “The Goonies”. The director here is Bruce Seven, and the distributor is Vivid Video. The stars of this movie include Amber Lynn, Peter North, Heather Wayne, Marc Wallice, Sharon Mitchell, Kevin James, Ted Wilson, Bionca, Herschel Savage, and Ami Rogers. Is this a good one to check out? Will you enjoy it? I don’t know, let’s find out when we venture back to 1985 to watch, the movie entitled, “Poonies”.

The starting point of this movie features the credits and an old Vivid Video Logo, which is awesome to see. We see Ginger Lynn walking into a farm wearing a mini-skirt, blue beret, and we hear someone singing. It’s hilarious to hear, as it’s a legit song. I don’t know who sings it, but it’s classic 1980s style music. “The Poonies are the way they are now”, wow. Anyways, the movie rolls the credits and we see clips from the interior of the ranch that people are on, and we see people walking around, and going from different locations. This was shot on film, and it shows, there’s a film grain to it, and it’s quite interesting to see overall. There’s a full list of people involved with this movie, it’s not just a random budgeted movie, this was played in theaters, and it shows from the starting line to the interior of the movie. I can imagine myself at the Pussycat Theater watching this one, and it’s a classic venture back to a different time.

The movie starts and we see Peter North and Amber Lynn stating that they have a meeting with the Poonies later. The two look at each other in a motel looking room, and they start to kiss. Amber Lynn kisses Peter North and starts to moan before taking out his package. Amber Lynn is a blonde haired woman with small breasts, good curves, and a slight tan. She immediately goes down on Peter North, and he’s not hard yet, but he grows as per usual. There’s a blow job sequence with romantic music, and the two switch positions to a point where Amber gets head as much as Peter does, but the director decides to change things up.

The director leaves the action to show Heather Wayne and Marc Wallice talking. Heather Wayne’s teeth are bad here, she’s a dirty blonde that looks a bit older. Marc Wallice is young, wears a cowboy hat and weird looking vest. A 1980s techno beat starts and Heather Wayne kisses Marc Wallice, and as the camera zooms out we realize that they are both nude. Wayne has dark pubic hair, the two are in the den of a badly designed condo, with terrible carpeting, next to a brick fireplace. Wallice starts with oral on Heather Wayne and she responds nicely to it. After a few minutes the two switch places and she gets on her knees to blow Wallice. It’s not a bad blow job by any means, but there’s a lot of hair here, and she works well with what she has, but Wallice isn’t huge. There’s a nice shot of Wayne bent over, which is lovely, but the director cuts.

The director hard cuts back to Peter North and Amber Lynn having sex. They are in doggy style by the time the camera switches and it’s not too bad of a scene. Lynn moans a great deal as North goes all in with a mechanical rush of blood, and romantic music as the backdrop. The two continue to have sex, and it’s not a bad scene, but it’s also not too sexy, as there’s some blocking and they are on a waterbed.

Another hard cut occurs and the director goes back to Heather Wayne and Marc Wallice having sex. I hate when directors do this, but I’m sure it’s because porno theaters didn’t want their patrons masturbating during the film, so they cut the sex scenes shorter and switch between hardcore shows, right? I don’t know. Wallice and Wayne are doing it reverse cowgirl and the camera shows off the moves. At one point Marc picks up Wayne and gives her a standup ride, which is impressive.

Right when you get impressed, we are taken to another hard cut. This cut sends us to reverse cowgirl with Amber Lynn and Peter North. After some time in the sex, things stop and North cums, although it’s not a big cum shot, and Amber Lynn finishes him off with a hand job.

Hard cut again and we are back with Marc Wallice and Heather Wayne in doggy style. After some back and forth traction here Wallice can’t hold on and cums on Wayne’s back and that’s it. He’s sweaty, they kiss, and the two smile afterwards. The camera fades and we are taken to a meeting of the Poonies up next.

So we get into a meeting of the Poonies and they discuss how their house is being taken by the bank. It’s that simple. Then they find out that the owner of the house has been kidnapped! They talk about finding an old treasure map, and then it’s shown off, etc. the story now features the Poonies trying to find their lost guy, and figure out how to save their house. A sense of adventure! The story of Poonies starts and we go ahead with more information.

We move along to another scene, after the Poonies have their meeting. It features Sharon Mitchell talking to Kevin James. Sharon ties up James, and then starts to strip in front of him. Sharon Mitchell has a thin body, short 1980s hair, a big nose, big facial features, and a round butt that’s quite good. She looks like a mom from the 1980s with a tight body, and it’s quite interesting to see. There’s a deep bass line, music starts, and Sharon Mitchell gets on her knees to blow Kevin James. The director shows a bit of the insertion to start, and the two start to have sex, but then there’s a hard cut, bugging the hell out of me.

The cut goes back to the Poonies meeting, and they all discuss a crazy lady, whom they elude is Sharon Mitchell. They are going to investigate and figure out what is going on and where their landlord is based on the map. Then we see a little strip tease with Ginger Lynn before the camera cuts back to the sex.

Back in a basement looking area we see Kevin James and Sharon Mitchell in reverse cowgirl. There’s no condoms, no one is shaved, and this is mechanical in nature. The two go through several positions, and it’s not a terrible sequence with the music, but in the middle of the sex another hard cut occurs!

With a hard cut we are taken to the den of the previous scene only this time we see Ginger Lynn, Heather Wayne, and Ted Wilson engaging in oral. The trio go through some positions of sex, and there’s a saxophone jazz tune in this one. Ginger Lynn is the star here, as she gets into the sex a lot more than Wayne at this point, and it seems as though Ted Wilson isn’t complaining at all as he goes all in with Lynn.

The director hard cuts from doggy style and we are sent back to the basement where Sharon Mitchell is having sex with Kevin James still. She moans a little and the two are working up a sweat, and it’s not too bad here. James asks his lover to give him a hand job and that’s it. The end of this scene.

After the sex, the camera cuts to the Poonies dorking around the compound. Nothing special here, no music just the actors going around some ranch.

Meanwhile, Bionca and Herschel Savage are in a room together and they start to make out for what seems like no reason. They start to make out a bit, then Bionca goes down to give savage a blow job. The two end up in a 69 position, and it gets hot fast. Bionca is a new comer to the porn world with this movie, and she’s a brunette with a thin body, small breasts, and not shaved. She has tan lines, and looks young here. Savage gets into the sex fast, and the two workout well together, moving and grinding with no condom, and it’s not a bad scene until the camera cuts!

The camera cuts and we see the Poonies with Sharon Mitchell. Mitchell has a shot gun pointed at them, and they are all busted. Sharon Mitchell asks them to start making out and get naked, which they oblige.

But then the camera cuts again and we are back with Bionca and Herschel Savage having sex in that crappy motel looking room. It’s actually pretty good sex, all things considered and the two really work as though they are trying to get off well. The camera watches you see two people really having sex, and it seems really good, every movement and the overall cumming of Bionca and moaning is great. This is the type of sex you’d want to have, and I’m enthralled. A great sequence of sex is hard to find in 1980s releases, but this works very well and the two are legitimately passionate about the sex, with Bionca riding on top and Savage going as hard as he can with her in rhythm.

There’s a hard cut and we are taken to a blow job occurring in the basement. This is where Mitchell has commanded the Poonies to get into the action together. With this sex scene we see Sharon Mitchell with Peter North, Ami Rodgers and Marc Wallice all having sex in the same room. This is a clumsy group sex scene with the director not really knowing what to point towards, so he just kind of gives you a random glance at the blow jobs that are occuring here and there. Nothing really crazy here. Both women are brunettes, but Ami Rodgers has large breasts, and they are all natural.

A swift cut from the director and we see reverse cowgirl with Savage and Bionca, and it’s back to passionate sex. If you could just splice their scene together for the sex it showcases an amazing sequence. It’s the best sex scene I’ve seen in a long time.

A hard cut again and I’m annoyed, but we are back to the four some, and it’s your traditional sex scene. One couple is doing it sideways, another is doing doggy and that’s it. This goes on for some time before both guys can’t hold on and cum on the women and that’s it. They just cum and that’s all she wrote, so to speak. They are all sweaty, they seem to have been spent in this one, and it’s not a bad scene, mind you, it’s just not great either. The camera work is clumsy, the sex is lazy, and it’s mechanical at best.

Everyone puts their clothes back on and the cowboy dude grabs a shotgun and is told it’s not loaded.

We are taken to another scene, and here we see Bionca, Ginger Lynn, and Heather Wayne making out after Ginger Lynn masturbates. The scene turns into a threeway lesbian sex scene. It’s an easy, simple scene with lots of oral, fingers, and a rockin beat. I hate using the word traditional to describe these scenes sometimes, but there’s not much to it. Two of the three women are really into this one, and the other is just going along for the most part. The director must’ve told them to just go at it. Ginger Lynn is nearly upside down with her legs up in the air at one point which is a unique visual, but other than that, this is a simple, and sometimes mundane sex scene with a lot of blocking. If you like watching women give oral, then you’ll like this one for sure.

After the sex, we see Ginger Lynn answering the phone and finding out that the crew has been kidnapped and held against their will and that she needs to come rescue them. So that’s where she goes, to see where they are at.

Ginger Lynn finally shows up and finds Kevin James all tied up. She unties him and they start to talk, before they kiss. Ginger Lynn and Kevin James start to make out, and she gets on her knees to give oral. Ginger Lynn here has curly hair, and is in her prime, while Kevin James soaks up all of the work that Lynn gives him. He goes all in with her, no condom, and Lynn moans a bit, looks back at him, and really gets into the sex. It’s not a terrible scene, mind you, but it is not Lynn’s best. James is adequate at best, but he’s far from Lynn’s best partner and it shows through the sex scene. At the 1 hour and 11 minute mark, things speed up a little and Lynn moans a bit more, but it’s obvious that she’s not that into it, and you can tell that James is trying his best to keep his hard on, only to cum into Lynn’s mouth.

After this scene, we are taken to the ranch where the Poonies are found safe and sound. The story ties up and they get to keep their home, and end it all with a big orgy that features everyone in the cast. There’s an orgy that features Ami Rodgers, Bionca, Ginger Lynn, Heather Wayne, Sharon Mitchell, Herschel Savage, Kevin James, Marc Wallice, Peter North, and Ted Wilson. Everyone gets naked here and just goes to town. There’s no rhyme or reason for this, and we get the Poonies theme song going again. It’s a trope that is in a lot of 1980s movies that were sent to porno theaters. The orgy is a mix of sex with multiple partners, and nothing really stands out for me. There’s not a lot of sound, the music takes over, but there are several cum shots and several sex endings, so maybe that’s something to consider? Overall, not a great scene, but not a terrible one either. It’s an orgy with bad direction, lousy music, and all of the stars, so it’s functional, but it’s scatter brained as well.

I give “Poonies” a 2 out of 5.

Despite my attraction to Ginger Lynn, this is a terrible movie that has only one saving grace, being a parody of “The Goonies”, movie which is a classic. If you are a collector and must see all of the parodies or want to watch all Ginger Lynn movies, here you go, another one to add to your collection. Otherwise, you probably won’t care to see this one often. Although, Herschel Savage and Bionca do a great job in their scene, which can be deemed a classic if you ask me.

The Ginger Effect (1985) Review

The Ginger Effect (1985) Poster 

Another trip to the 1980s will take us to an interesting focused release from Vivid Video. That’s correct, the big boys of porn from the 1990s, and possibly today, released this studio film directed by Bruce Seven. Bruce Seven directs a great deal of individuals into a 12 scene movie that features Ginger Lynn. Ginger Lynn, if Traci Lords didn’t have that scandal, would have been the number one performer from the 1980s if you ask me. That’s my own opinion of course, but hey, what do I know? “The Ginger Effect” came out in 1985 and it featured a limited cast, but some big names. The stars of this movie include Cara Lott, Francois, Ginger Lynn, Jerry Butler, Kristara Barrington, Peter North, Terry Lynn, and Tom Byron. As we look into reviewing this, let’s take a trip down to 1985, as I was just a little kid, and see what the porno world was producing with this starring picture of Ginger Lynn fame.

The movie starts with the credits, and you see an electro-magnetic sphere with some ominous music underneath. It’s a really cool starting point, and I dig the gothic music sound. The electric element is cool too, giving a sense of “Frankenstein” to the picture. The music improves as the credits roll, and I for one am glad, this is a stellar starting point. It’s a licensed song, because there’s lyrics and vocals that are almost like The Cure, and it’s quite cool. The movie is winning me over from the starting point that’s for sure. It’s cool to see that this is the first scene of Terry Lynn, so if you haven’t heard of them it’s because this is their first scene and I’m not sure how many more they did. Produced by Brent Seven, Michael Cates doing cinematography, and released by Vivid, this thing has a lot of people working on it, and I’m already impressed with the starting line. You can totally tell that this movie was filmed for the big screen, not for just home video. It has film grain, and it has narration.

The opening sequence features a séance. They talk about the spirit of a young woman mourning. It’s like a haunted mansion type of scene, but you don’t see anything, you just hear it. It’s a cool séance, and you’ll find that it’s all audio overall. You hear two people say that they need to get to a cabin, and then the screen goes black. We hear Ginger Lynn saying that there’s a lot of spirits flying into the scene, and then we see here. She’s a psychic, and there’s a set that you have seen from psychic readings. It’s interesting to hear the showcase.

At the 10 minute mark we finally get to that cabin we heard about. Jerry Butler and Cara Lott begin with oral sex, and we are introduced to the fact that this is in fact a porno. Cara Lott has short, puffed blonde hair, and Jerry Butler is a somewhat hairy dude with light brown hair. Lott is skinny, looks a bit older, and is not completely shaved. The two make out with a sensual jazzy tune over the top of their movements. The set looks like an old motel, possibly a cabin as you’d expect. The sex doesn’t last that long and only takes a few positions before Butler has to cum, and he finishes and lets Lotto suck him off as he continues to cum, and she seems to enjoy it. It’s not a bad finish.

The scene switches to a couple of guys talking in a hallway saying that there’s all sorts of spirits after them and they should run. They decide it’s best to get out of there, and we are then taken to another part of the house, or cabin, the direction isn’t quite clear on that.

Up next we see a scene where Ginger Lynn is in full leather dominatrix suit, and she has a couple of guys tied up. She lowers herself to a pot of warm water and then splashes it on her so that she’s dripping. She then pulls on a chain and one of the guys comes to her and starts to please her. Tom Byron, Peter North, and Ginger Lynn have an odd sexual scene where the two guys pretend they are dogs. This sex scene is odd, it’s just oral and kissing, and that’s it. The focus is on oral throughout the scene, and there is no insertion for the most part. It’s just oral and oral, and at one point Tom Byron isn’t even hard at all. This is a very odd and sensual scene that isn’t that great to watch.

We move to another section of the cabin, and there’s Francois in an accent telling a story about how he took a bullet. He is telling this story to Terry Lynn and Kristara Barrington, and they are just listening. Then out of the blue one of them jumps on his lap and starts to make out with him. The saxophone music starts to play with a nice piano underneath, and we are going forward with the sex. Kristara Barrington, Terry Lynn, and Francois start to make out, and go into oral sex. One lady is a very Asian looking actress with black hair, small hands and not shaved. The other is a taller blonde with lingerie, and looks like a standard California girl, with large breasts. As far as a threeway sex scene is concerned, this isn’t half bad. Francois takes turn with the ladies, the ladies give each other oral, and it all goes down with ease, however, midway through the scene, the director does something I personally hate.

I hate when directors from the 1980s switch the scene from one section to the next. In the middle of that threeway, we are sent to Ginger Lynn blowing Peter North and Tom Byron having sex with her in that threesome from earlier. That’s right, one second we are seeing Francois getting blown, and having sex, to this scene, and it’s a transition that just hard cuts. After several positions around a white couch, we eventually see Lynn get a load from Peter North on her back, and that signals the finish of this scene.

There’s a hard edit and we are back to seeing Francois with Kristara Barrington and Terry Lynn. The sex here is adequate, not that great, a bit mechanical, but the women make it worthwhile, moaning and going through a lot of the motions with great gusto. Francois works up a sweat going in and out of both ladies, but the sex is just somewhat boring to me. It’s not a bad threeway though.

Moving to the next scene we see Cara Lott talking about how she’s from the wild west. Ginger Lynn shows up to talk to her a little and the two start making out. Cara Lott and Ginger Lynn have lesbian sex, and it’s a fascinating focused energy between the two. They both are very into this and responsive to the moves that one another give. It’s interesting to see the amount of passion in this scene, especially from both women that are very much in tune with how to please one another. If you’re a fan of lesbian sex scenes, this is a great one, and it really shows the power of two women that love what they are doing. Ginger Lynn and Lott make up for a lackluster rest of the performances that’s for sure, including strapping on a dildo at one point and going for it full steam ahead. A great scene if you ask me.

After the two women have sex we are taken outside for a sex romp. That’s where Kristara Barrington and Peter North are hanging out. They are just talking for the most part and nothing is really happening. They talk about the spirit, and the bigger picture etc. But then the camera cuts and we are taken to a scene where Ginger Lynn and Jerry Butler is in a hot tub.

Ginger Lynn and Jerry Butler start to make out in a hot tub, and they laugh a little before they start to get into the sex. They don’t waste anytime getting into the sex, and they start going at it just outside of the tub, and it’s not half bad. Of all of the sex scenes, this is the one that seems to have the most passion and chemistry. Jerry Butler and Ginger Lynn totally have chemistry together and it’s interesting to see them go at it. The director fades to black after a few positions, and we don’t see the ending because we follow another person.

Terry Lynn takes some time to herself in the next scene, without finishing the Ginger Lynn scene, and she brings out a vibrator and goes to town with herself. It’s a focused sexual masturbation scene on a brown couch, and it’s not half bad. If you like solo work, then you’ll appreciate this scene with a pretty blonde haired woman with fishnets on. There’s not much else to say about this, it’s a hot masturbation scene, and that’s about it. In the middle of this, we get a hard camera cut, again.

The camera cuts and we are back to the hot tub where Jerry Butler and Ginger Lynn are in another position having sex. This time it’s doggy style, and it goes for a few minutes before Lynn gets on her knees and starts to suck off Butler until he cums. The finish occurs here, and the camera goes back to the solo act.

Terry Lynn is now on the floor with two dildos and going to town with them. Again, if you’re a fan of solo work, then you’ll appreciate Terry Lynn using the toys on herself and really working up a sweat to get herself off. This is juxtaposed with the finish of the Lynn scene, mind you, so it’s like two scenes in one.

The director takes us back to the séance table and we see all of the actors talking again. The spirits are alive and well, and that leads them to do bad things as they all get channeled in, and we are rushed into the final sequence.

The cameras shifts and we are taken to another large room and here we have the whole cast in an orgy scene. This is an odd one because it has all of the actors with “Indian” style garb, and feathers, etc. This would offend most, but hey it’s porno so who cares right? This is a full blown orgy scene and it features everyone with several different camera angles, several points of moaning, different music here and there, and a constant flow until everyone cums. It’s not half bad, and if you like group sex, this will give you a glimpse into what it’s like to be in a swingers club. I have no complaints here, other than the music takes over more than the sex at one point. You really get a feel for the excitement throughout, though, as it is a good sexual romp with a nice touch of pure sex. People switch, it goes through the motions of what you’d expect, and then it finishes within all of the actors on a couch talking about how great the night was and how amazing the spirits were. If this was scene today, people would get offended, I’m sure.

I give “The Ginger Effect” a 2 out of 5.

The camera angles, editing, and overall focus sucked. The director’s call for this is interesting, and I can only assume that there’s a lot of hard edits because it was meant for a movie theater? There’s film grain here and it looks like this was focused for the silver screen. Ginger Lynn looks great, the rest of the cast is good, but there’s a lack of sensuality at certain points, including some mechanical sex at some points. Watching Tom Byron try to get hard at one point is also not fun to see, and well, this wasn’t great, but as far as collector’s series are concerned, and much more, this can be a good set to watch. Complete your collection, or just step away.

Aroused (1985)

Aroused (1985) Cover

Today we are visiting the year 1985 for a movie that was ordered to be destroyed in the United States. The only way that you can get this movie is to get an edited version on DVD, have the original VHS tape from what it was released, the original movie reels from the premier of the movie in theaters, or if you bought it outside of the United States. I currently don’t know any companies that sell this, and I happened upon a copy of this at a yard sale where a guy was selling a box of porn. Lucky me, I guess? This is a movie that starts Josephine Carrington, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, Tom Byron, Ali Moore, Greg Derek, Peter North, and Steve Powers. The movie is called, “Aroused” and it was released in 1985, and stars, well, you know that it stars Traci Lords. But is it any good? Well, let’s see what the movie is about.

The opening of the movie features Lords in a car with whom I assume is a young Tom Byron, I can’t really tell at first glance. The scene features a guy asking Lords to get ready for a night of fun and that she should allow the people she will meet to help her become uninhibited. She is then taken to a house where a few women start to undress her and then put a collar on her. They then move her to what is for sure, Tom Byron. Tom Byron is waiting with his pants off, a leather jacket on and sunglasses on.

The women blindfold Traci Lords and ask her to blow Tom Byron. The first major scene features Traci Lords learning how to blow with Tom Byron. Meanwhile there are two women trying to show her, and another woman getting naked. Tom Byron says that she needs to practice a bit, and one of the ladies volunteers to show her how to do it. She then takes off Lords’ blindfold and shows her on Tom Byron how to blow someone properly. The opening blow job scene features Josephine Carrington, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, and Tom Byron. It goes from a tutorial to all of the women tasting Byron, and then him cumming onto Lords’ mouth. The best part is after he cums Lords continues to lick and suck, creating one hell of a ending point, and definitely an interesting opener for this movie. The set is a well lit mansion, with the ladies being classic 1980s porno women, all natural, not shaved, big hair, and of course Lords with her curly hair.

The scene changes and we see Lords typing at a typewriter. Yes, a real typewriter, since this is 1985 after all. She takes a break from writing a novel or a story, and she gets a pair of binoculars out and starts to look at the neighbors. She tries to see what is going on, and it seems like they are fighting. But in reality, they are just making up, and eventually start to kiss. There’s some soft piano music playing, and Lords watches with her binoculars as the two start to make out a little.

Sex comes through next and it features Ali Moore and Greg Derek. The music changes to a pop song, and the two start to get it on. Greg Derek is a blonde haired man in his late 20s from what it appears, and Ali Moore has brown hair tight body, natural breasts, and not shaved. There’s no condoms in these 1980s movies, so it’s all straight forward sex. The pop song throws me off, the set here is an average apartment bedroom, with lackluster wallpaper, and interior design. Ali Moore gives an ok blow job, the camera moving forward into it a bit and the song really getting annoying. Moore looks like a fourth grade teacher, with a short hair cut that goes almost to her shoulders. The sex is adequate, a little bit of moaning, nothing too crazy, and just forward progress. The music shifts after the two go through 69, and it turns into a techno 1980s beat. Eventually Greg Derek cums on Moore’s pubic hair and that’s the end of the scene. A somewhat lackluster sex scene with minimal chemistry between the two.

On the other end, Traci Lords is getting aroused and she decides to touch herself a little before she calls a friend. The two start talking about how it’s hard to write a novel, and that Lords can’t complete her novel because she keeps thinking about sex. Her friend then tells her to have sex with her man and it’ll all go away.

This leads them to hanging up, and we see the next sex scene start. The next scene features Peter North and Kristara Barrington enjoying oral sex to start. Barrington has red heels and a blueish green dress on. North is young, athletic, and has serious chemistry with the brunette that is not shaved at all. The two start on a makeshift bed in front of a fire place, and it’s the most passionate the movie has gotten thus far, at around 28 minutes. Barrington is an Asian woman and moans quite a bit to start. The sex goes multiple positions, with a lot of attention paid to the insertion of Peter North, and he’s truly enjoying himself in this one. The two go at it a good amount of time, and then Peter North delivers a good money shot with a lot of cum, even getting it into Barrington’s hair. The two laugh about it, and that’s it. This was a long one take shot, with Peter North and Kristara Barrington really enjoying the sex, and a lot of moaning from Barrington. The money shot was classic North, and this scene really makes for an otherwise boring movie.

We go back to Traci Lords home and Steve Powers shows up. He says that she needs to take a break. She doesn’t think so, and kicks him out of the house. But he barges back in and is upset. He says that he can help her relax, but she refuses.

Steve Powers says that she is going to relax even if he has to force her, so we get a cut from the writing table and to a bed where the two are naked. Steve Powers and Traci Lords start with oral, and the sex scene goes well, as it is the second to last showcase. The scene is in a bedroom, and it’s lit a bit better than the previous scene, although the tape I have is in need of a remaster. Lords and Powers work well together, he seems to know what buttons to press and make Lords moan a bit. The music here is a jazzy saxophone tune, which isn’t bad, but isn’t great either. The two go into 69 and it’s not too bad, but Lords isn’t moaning as much by this point. The two go through multiple positions, including doggy style, and before long Powers is getting ready to blow. Lords moans a lot in this scene, and Powers gives a good performance, while the director chooses to move back and forth with the angles. There’s a hinge of authenticity to this scene, and it really is more than just another sex scene, which I’m sure Traci Lords’ fans are going to enjoy. The sequence ends abruptly, without a money shot.

After the sex we are back to the typewriter and Traci Lords is just typing away. After this, the camera focuses back on the mansion from the beginning of the film, and we are treated to one last orgy.

The orgy in this movie’s final sex scene features Josephine Carrington, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, Steve Powers, and Tom Byron. The women take turn having sex with both Powers and Byron, and everyone involved seems to enjoy the process. There’s a lot of moaning, some decent oral sex, and all the women taking turns going at it with the men. This is a loud one, so if you have it turned up, you may wake the neighbors. Of course, Traci is quite loud, but it’s also Barrington, and St. Clair that make some noise. There are authentic orgasms here, with a focus on loud moaning, and legitimate sex with a very young Tom Byron. Byron eventually cums on Lords’ stomach and it’s one hell of an ender.

The movie ends with Steve Powers and Traci Lords repeating the same thing from the beginning of the film, and that’s it. She puts on a pair of panties, and we get the credits to roll, and that’s the end of this movie from 1985.

I give “Aroused” a 3 out of 5.

This movie wasn’t great. It had a decent plot, and it features some good camera work, ok music, and it had some interesting sex scenes. If you’re a fan of Traci Lords and can hunt this one down legally, go for it. She moans, screams, and enjoys herself throughout. Tom Byron fans will love his youth, and Peter North’s performance was definitely good. However, as a whole, the scenes were a bit short, the transfer wasn’t grand, and some of the sex was a bit boring. It’s not a great porn, but it’s a testament to the 1985 movie going experience, and therefore it should get at least a 3 out of 5.

Dirty Shary (1985) Review

Dirty Shary Poster From 1985 

You may have heard of “Dirty Harry” those classic cop movies featuring Clint Eastwood, right? Those came out in the 1980s, and you know that porn would have a parody of that. For the silver screen this movie has some plot, and of course sex. It’s not a long movie, but it’s worth checking out if you’re a fan of parody porn and what not. That’s exactly what I did, and here we go. The plot of this movie is a private detective that is tasked with trying to break down a white slavery ring out of a brothel. The start of the movie features the main character telling you what to expect and how she gets criminals. She does so by showing off her massive breasts. This movie stars Christy Canyon, Steve Drake, Beverly Bliss, Colleen Brennan, and more. If you’re a fan of Christy Canyon, then “Dirty Shary” is going to be one hot movie for you, as she’s in a lot of the scenes, both for sex and to move the plot along.

Within a few minutes, you are thrown into the sex of this movie. I’m talking about 2 minutes into the movie, and Dirty Shary is going down on a guy. Christy Canyon and Steve Drake start things off, and it’s not half bad. If you like Canyon, then you’ll love her here as she more than eclipses Drake. There is a little bit of romance here, so it’s not straight gonzo. Drake warms up the oven so to speak, then goes into full force with Canyon. The two have some chemistry, mind you, but it’s not immediate. IT takes a little bit of time to go forward. Drake looks to be losing his erection after some time on the couch, but he manages to force one last push forward into doggy style before finally climaxing on Canyon’s butt. She seems to enjoy this last bit, even though Drake doesn’t seem to be as hard as he started, but he does ok towards the end, and Canyon is left with a few one liners. She doesn’t seem to get off, as Drake finishes well under 10 minutes, but hey, that’s porn for ya. The movie goes forward with the plot, as this scene was shorter than most modern flicks, that’s for sure.

The movie transitions into a plot point. Shary shows up to what appears to be a brothel. She only has a few lines of dialogue with the mistress of the house, and then enter Dino Alexander. He has a few lines about how he is a college guy and has found the brothel thanks to his dad. He’s told to go meet the DOM, and this is very much a powerful introduction to BDSM, although it’s more sexual than just dominating.

Beverly Bliss and Dino Alexander go forward with a fast paced sex scene, that really doesn’t have a lot of chemistry, until the end. Dino doesn’t cum a great deal, and Beverly has to basically rub it out, which is an awkward way to end this scenario, but hey, it happens, right? This was not a fun scene, and it was somewhat short. It ended well enough, and that’s it.

Spanish Cover of Dirty Shary From 1985

The next scene gets a little break, but it throws you into another Steve Drake scene, this time with Bunny Bleu. She’s a blonde girl with natural breasts and she likes to make a great deal of noise. Steve Drake, for the most part looks to have a bit more fun here than in the previous scene that he was in. The jazzy soundtrack really is distracting here for me. There’s a fine jazz soundtrack, that borders on modern jazz, mixed with the sounds of Bleu moaning. Drake eventually finishes and the money shot gets all over Bleu’s pubic hair. The scene ends casually, and then you’re thrown into another sex scene right away.

Up next, you get to see Heather Wayne pleasing herself, before Billy Dee shows up and gives her a ride. Billy Dee is a strong silent type, and man of color, working with Wayne. I always liked interracial sex scenes, mainly because I’m of Latin descent, and this makes me feel nice about the world of sex. This is a good overall scene, although the music goes from jazz to 1970s soft rock. That took me out of the scene a bit, but other than that, this works well. Wayne is not the most attractive of women, but she seems to really like this scene, and the two have some good chemistry overall.

Up next, Dino Alexander is seen leaving the brothel, and he has no more money. But Colleen Brennan stops him, the older woman wanting a taste of college man sex, and well the two get it on. This was a mechanical scene, with minimal moaning, and Dino making more noise than anything else. The music once again changes, and the two go at it on a couch that looks like it was picked up at a thrift store. This was all business until Dino starts playing with Brennan’s nipples and then the two start to get some chemistry going and really start to enjoy the scene together. Lucky Dino, he gets two shots in at the brothel for the price of one.

At this point, you are taken to Christy Canyon taking photographs of the brothel outside, and talks to a detective that is under cover. He says that Canyon has to go into the house and meet someone.

What happens? Well she meets up with a random dude, and takes off her top, and the music comes in, telling you that something grand is going to go on. Once the bass line and bongo drums start, you might as well get ready for this scene, because it’s the film’s ending sexual escapade. Dan T. Mann and Christy Canyon put on a good romp here, with Christy seemingly interested in giving a good performance, unlike her role with Drake. Nearly to the end of the sex, Mann looks to be losing his erection, one which was never truly that hard to begin with, and asks Christy who she is, or he won’t finish. She then states, “I’m Dirty Shary” and the two continue until he cums, and that’s the end of the movie.

There’s an epilogue where Canyon says that the investigation into the brothel didn’t turn up much of a lead or anything. It turns out, that the house was just volunteer staff and that Shary stayed on to hit up 50 guys before concluding her investigation. So there’s that.

I give “Dirty Shary” a 2 out of 5.

Christy Canyon is a legend no doubt, but the short scenes, lackluster attempt to even try to throw in the plot, and mechanical performances mire this otherwise interesting parody porno. Plus, the music kept throwing me off, and that’s not a good thing in an adult feature.

You can buy “Dirty Shary” from a variety of sources. Including Here

Did you see “Dirty Shary”? What are your thoughts? Drop me a line in the comments.

Tracy Dick (1985) Review

Tracy Dick (1985) Movie Poster

First and foremost, I want to give a shout out to my friend Angela, as she was the one that helped me pick out this movie to review. It’s thanks to her recommendation that we are now going to venture back to the 1980s, for a movie that was supposed to be burned in the United States. I won’t get into every detail, but after a lot of reading, and supreme court essays, I’ve concluded that reviewing movies featuring Traci Lords is fine, all things considered. However, I’ve gone to great lengths to purchase legal copies of this, and not from the United States, but from Europe, Mexico, and other areas. Whatever the case may be, this is a Traci Lords movie that was supposed to be destroyed, and you can only get it via DVD-R, VHS, or through alternative means. My copy came from Spain, and had a Spanish dub track and an English track. The Spanish language track is hilarious. But I’m going to review “Tracy Dick” from 1985 in the English language. This is supposed to be a parody of "Dick Tracy" but without the noir style.

The opening of this movie has a hilarious custom song about the titular character, Tracy Dick. I found it hilarious, as it featured a great deal of comedy in the lyrics, and the style. It’s a classic 1980s style rock tune. The movie immediately gets to the action, and throws you into a “who done it” mystery. We are shown an office, Tracy’s office where she’s a private eye. She is reading a book about how to find the g spot, and starts to masturbate. She seems to be playing with some archaic toy, but I can’t make it out because the film grain is very bad on this transfer I received. She goes at it a while, but watching her is a nerdy guy played by Tom Byron. He’s a classic 1980s nerd stereotype. Tracy tries to explore some information about him, and he seems to throw a tantrum before Stacey Donovan shows up. It’s here that the story’s plot starts to work through as Tracy wants to get to the bottom of the peeping tom, and more. There’s comedy in this scene, and Traci can act. (Note, I’ll use Tracy as the character, and Traci as the actress back and forth, because it’s confusing, and kind of fun)

After the masturbation scene, and a phone call between the private eye, and what I assumed was Stacey Donovan, a threesome erupts. This features Traci Lords, Stacey Donovan, and Tom Byron. The thing that got me right away was the music. It’s a passionate score, with grainy pops and bad mix with the moaning and groaning over the top. Traci Lords teaches Donovan and Byron (the nerd), how to have sex, and it’s not half bad. Lords always seems to work well with Byron, and Byron has those classic nerdy good looks, and turns into a stud with relative ease. The scene isn’t half bad, and has a voyeuristic quality that isn’t half bad. But at one point the director decided to put the camera as close to the penetration as possible, and not with a good macro lens, so you’re going to get a lot of grainy movement and moans, and just odd sexual elements. I’m assuming this was done for the big screen, because on home video, this is just odd. Who can be turned on by this? This only lasts about 10 minutes, mind you, and Byron blows a small load, but you can’t really see much because the lighting is very dark in this movie.

The transitional stages of this scene furthers the plot, although it’s thin. Tracy wakes up Byron and discusses a little bit about the case at hand, and then we move to a lesbian scene starting, only to go into a full blown four way.

The sex scene here is supposed to be Heather Wayne, Jacqueline Brooks, Josephine Carrington, and Jesse Eastern, but my edited didn’t show all of the women. Instead, there was a scissoring scene, and a guy watching on his couch before joining the action. He watches the scene, and the women get so turned on that they get him to join the action, to a very muddy and not too sexy sequence. The lighting is really bad in this movie, and I do not have a remastered option, so it’s not that grand overall. Meanwhile there’s a transition where Stacey Donovan and Peter North are sneaking into a house, and that leads to sex as well. However, that doesn’t get immediate results, as the threeway, which is listed as a fourway starts, and it’s just boring. It’s an odd mix, with a little boredom and mechanics of sex. It’s not sexy at all.

Up next, without much of a transition, we get Stacey Donovan and Peter North going at it. Once again the director has decided to zoom in so close to the penetration and masturbation that you can barely tell what’s going on. I had a hard time making it out because it started to get quite blurry, and then the editing went back to a blow job from the threesome, causing this thing to just become muddled. It’s somewhat sexy, I guess, as there’s a hand job finish, but it’s so badly edited, and transitioned that it’s just not worthwhile.

Tracy and Tom show up to discuss the case as the sex scenes are done, and the movie transitions into another plot point before throwing in a sex scene. This is not a gonzo movie, mind you, but the pacing is certainly gonzo, as there’s nearly no explanation for what happens next. Jacqueline Brooks and Tom Byron phone it in if you ask me. Byron has little to no chemistry with Brooks, and it shows. The return of the super zoom is found here, and I wanted to bang my head into a wall. The director made some terrible choices here, and the music, and overall scene is just awkward.

If you have bucket list for viewing porno actors doing it, you may have Traci Lords and Peter North. Well, here you go, it’s what you expect, and it’s quite fascinating to say the least. It’s a serviceable scene, don’t get me wrong, and there are moments that the two do share some sort of chemistry, but if you ask me, Peter North is just in work mode, as he’s a professional, and Traci is just kind of there at times, and then into it at others. The director decided to not use a lot of zoom lenses here, and the picture is clear, with some minor lighting shifts. It’s still gritty, but it’s really just a point of history, more than anything else. If you’re a fan of Peter North, then this is a piece of archival history. The closing sequence here is one for the ages, as far as speed is concerned, but in a rare thing, you don’t get an epic Peter North finish. This was very much a quick romp, and then it was over.

There’s a funny transition to another scene, which is just plot heavy. Tracy Dick shows up to confront a few people, and there’s a bit of comedy work done by Tom Byron. Then you get Peter North discussing a few things with Tracy Dick, and the story of the “stiff” continues. This is awful acting, but what did you expect from a 1985 porno film?

After some interrogation, the movie switches to a lesbian scene. The 1980s had a lot of lesbian sequences, and they always seemed forced. But this one was genuinely interesting for the chemistry that Josephine Carrington and Traci Lords have. If you’re into lesbian sex scenes, this is an interesting one, due only because of the chemistry that the two share. Otherwise, it’s not that great. They do the “scissoring” thing again, and I recall South Park doing a segment about this type of thing. I don’t know if this is common or not, but for 1985, perhaps it’s a good feeling thing? I don’t know, I’m not an expert here, I’m just trying to make sense of the movie.

The story continues, but you know, it’s not even that great, I have no clue where the whole thing is going, and the story gets thrown out for a final threesome. This one features Tiffany Blake, Marc Wallace, and Tom Byron. The trio have sex on a couch, and it’s not a terrible scene, but it’s very much “work mode” for the trio. Tom Byron’s always interesting to watch, and his youthful looks reminds me of Mark Wahlberg from “Boogie Nights”. Tiffany Blake does a double penetration here, and that’s the point where things get a little interesting, as she seems to lose herself in the moment for a moment, but honestly, other than that, this is just an average scene with a DP finish.

That’s the end of the movie, by the way. If you stick around for the credits, you’ll notice the names of the characters include Tracy Dick, Arthur Dork, Mimi Furst, Angela Magnet, Maid, Out Patient 1 and Out Patient 2, alongside gaffers, makeup, art direction, still photography and more. Jell Productions copyright ends it, and that’s it. You get a 81 minute feature that is not going to win any awards.

I give “Tracy Dick” a 2 out of 5.

The movie was fine. The best part of it was the music. There’s a lot of music with saxophone, so it’s firmly in the 1980s genre. Other than that, the theme song was funny, and the movie had some interesting points, and plot that seemed to move into sex scenes, but other than that, it’s awful. The lighting sucked, the editing was tough, and the zoom elements made me want to quit watching anything transferred from a VHS tape.

You can find “Tracy Dick” in the United States from imported sources, VHS tapes from the past, magazines, and other random areas.

Did you see “Tracy Dick”? If so, drop me a line in the comments.

New Wave Hookers (1985) Review

New Wave Hookers (1985) Re-Release Edition Cover

Well, now here’s a very popular movie that you may already have seen, or haven’t seen, I don’t know what the person reading this will think. However, if you are going to consider the most famous of adult movies, and you do not consider “New Wave Hookers” as one of them, then you’re truly missing out on something grand. This is one of the most controversial movies ever put to hardcore cinema, and the way it is shot, I can truly say that this was meant to be seen in movie theaters. You truly needed to be sitting in a red cloth cushioned seat, and your feet stuck to the ground with bubble gum, soda stains, and cum from the previous patron of the theater that you’re in. This is a movie that changed the industry in some ways, and it brought to light Ginger Lynn and Traci Lords once again. It’s a film, that has been written about by a lot of people, and has been released not once, but twice overall. In fact, you are going to wonder why you don’t have this in your collection, and honestly, I thought about that myself when I first saw this. This spawned a lot of sequels, all of which I will be reviewing, but to start things off, we are going back to 1985 to see what is going on with the original edit of “New Wave Hookers”, because that’s the one everyone wants, and that’s the one I picked up while I was in Europe. You cannot buy the original edit in the United States, but the only major thing that is different is that Traci Lords is NOT in the edited version. She plays the devil, and boy, oh boy, you’re going to love it if you’re a fan. If not, then you are not going to miss much, as the editing is quite good overall. For this review, I’m going to be talking about the original version first, then the edited version second, which isn’t too far and away different.

The story of “New Wave Hookers” is one of great fantasy. Two friends are watching porn and fall asleep. In their dreams, they dream of being pimps and having women as part of their service, and they are all attracted to New Wave Music, becoming aroused and wanting to get some. That is the premise of the movie, and the music was done by The Plugz and The Sockets. The soundtrack to this porno movie is epic in my opinion, and it’s something that is just grand. When this movie came out it premiered in Los Angeles, and it was in front of the world-famous Pussycat Theater, a theater that I got to visit a few times before it was turned into an arthouse cinema place. Of course, I’m talking about the one that was in Santa Monica, but is now just playing art and smaller indie films, if it’s even still there.

New Wave Hookers (1985) Tracy/Traci Lords Edition Poster

The cast of this movie will no doubt bring about a lot of memories for people, and includes Brooke Fields, Desiree Lane, Gina Carrera, Ginger Lynn, Greg Rome, Jack Baker, Jamie Gillis, Kimberly Carson, Kristara Barrington, Peter North, Rick Cassidy, Steve Powers, Steve Drake, and of course Tom “Freakin” Byron. Oh, one last thing, the original edit had Traci Lords playing the devil, and masturbating in red lingerie. This was edited out completely for the re-release in 1986 after the supreme court ruling on her film work. The fifth scene is also removed which featured Traci Lords and Rick Cassidy. The updated version is only 75 minutes long, but the original had a little longer of a run time.

The movie takes some time to set up. It’s not a fast movie at all. In fact, you’re going to find that it’s a little slow, and why not? This was meant to be seen in a movie theater. It feels that way throughout the movie, and I love that about some of the movies I’ve been reviewing thus far. I write that line, but honestly, within 12 minutes, there’s a sex scene, so maybe I’m just romanticizing the movie’s pacing. The first major scene is an odd one, as 3 guys are involve, but only one of them is having sex at first, before a Debbie Harry looking woman gives one guy a blow job while another does doggy, and another masturbates to it all. This is a punk rock, anarchy scene with New Wave Music, and truly speaks to the era, it’s fascinating to say the least. Although, it’s not very “sexy”.

In another scene, we get a young, and I say young looking Peter North pounding away. But after seeing a few movies where he’s a star, it’s interesting to see that he’s not that into it at times. In this movie he’s ok, he’s doing his thing, but he doesn’t seem to be that into it, or perhaps the chemistry is not really there. He seems to literally be “working”, which always throws me off a little. Don’t get me wrong, he is performing, and there is a sensuality to his work in this movie, but it’s obvious that he’s concentrating, and really in “work” mode, more than having fun. At least that’s what I get from this movie, and some of his other work, and perhaps that’s why he is in so many movies, because he is a professional, which is fine.

If you’re a fan of Ginger Lynn, then you’ll love her makeup and her performance here. She enters into the frame after some time and goes fully into her scene with double penetration. The DP element in this is sexy, and raw, and Ginger looks to be absolutely having fun, while the two guys seem to be enjoying the process as well. The editing and lighting here is good, with visuals that let you see everything, although there is a few funny shots of balls hanging around. Ginger has a way of making the scene look sexy, and not “raunchy” and it’s a true fantasy that I loved from this film. She has something grand in this scene where she’s wearing yellow heels, and I’m just impressed, and a little turned on.

New Wave Hookers (1985) Tracy/Traci Lords Edition Poster

The next scene is somewhat forgettable, featuring a new comer to the porn arena for me, I didn’t recognize her, but the two main characters get to share her in their pimp office. I kid you not, it’s a pimp office. It’s not a bad scene, but I had the feeling that the movie really was trying to have some filler because after this one, on the original edit, you’d get the scene that would be deleted, and that is featuring Traci Lords and Rick Cassidy. Don’t get me wrong, the foursome that occurs before that features some good overall sex, but it just isn’t as good, but it still features some punk, ethos. If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I mean, as there’s a “punk” element of editing to the movie, and eventual money shot across a lot of hair. This is not a joke. Although, in a weird sequence, the three guys wipe the cum all over the woman’s face, and she seems to have loved it. I don’t know, it’s a performance, right? I guess so.

For those that have the original edit of this video, you either bought it when it was first released, saw it in theaters and pirated it, or you bought it in Europe, Japan, or other countries. It is not available in the United States, at least not at retail. Maybe at auction? Traci Lords has another porn scene, and if you’re a fan of hers, then you will most likely enjoy this one. She is dressed as the devil, and Rick Cassidy takes time to rim quite a bit, alongside other oral elements. This is a scene that really is a textbook on how to treat a lover if you ask me, which you didn’t. Give her pleasure, forget yourself, and she’ll return. Lords does turn things around, with long black boots, amidst fog, a white bed, and her trademark hair and screams. This is not a marathon scene mind you, and the transitions are changed, so you see missionary to other positions, to doggy style without the in between. Rick goes all the way in here, and just continues until he’s 100% done and the money shot is on Lords’ back and that’s it. This is not a long scene, mind you, but when it is cut, it definitely has a missing element. The edited version is still good, but it definitely is missing this scene after the fact, and you’ll only know if you saw the original like I did.

New Wave Hookers (1985) Re-Release Edition Back Cover

The end sequences that come after the hour mark has some artistic merit. The guys run into another room, and as they go there, there’s a merry-go-round of 3 women spinning, with red, and black. They are dressed in torn up shirts, and heels, and the guys come in and enjoy the ending of this movie which is nothing sort of a sexual spin. It’s an artistic way of having an orgy, no doubt, but the lighting and dare I say, the amount of pubic hair may turn you off. This ends and our two heroes get up from their slumber, only to move forward to one last escapade, in the real world. This time featuring Ginger Lynn, and it’s not half bad. The film ends with one guy going outside and driving around, eventually meeting the girl of his dreams, a hooker, and that’s it.

“New Wave Hookers” is one of those classic movies that collectors have in their homes. It was originally on the big screen, and it featured Traci Lords. After her movies were thrown out, Ginger Lynn became the cover girl, and you know what? Lords isn’t that missed if you ask me. Lynn has one hell of a scene, and her makeup and heels are on point, as well as the way she moves, and makes things look so alluring. This is a movie that features some great new wave music, and some hot scenes, although the premise is in fact funny. It’s a serviceable porn movie, no doubt, and one that you may want to pick up.

I give “New Wave Hookers” a 3 out of 5 for the original, and a 3 out of 5 for the edited version.

You can buy “New Wave Hookers” in a lot of venues like here, and it’s not a terrible movie to watch. I’ve seen far worse. It’s got a nice plot, has some great music, and Ginger Lynn makes it worth your time.

Did you see “New Wave Hookers”? Let me know in the comments below.

American Babylon (1985) Review

People Frame This Poster, Hell Buy It  

The things you find when you start to go down the rabbit holes of the internet. I ran into a sentence on a website somewhere that stated, Ron Jeremy and Traci Lords were in a movie together, and it was released in 1990. The release was a re-print of the original 1985 or 1986 feature “American Babylon” which was directed by Richard Mahler aka Roger Watkins. That particular movie stars Bobby Astyr, Michael Gaunt, Tish Ambrose, Chelsea Blake, Taija Rae, Lonnie Lee, and others. Admittedly, I first heard about this movie when looking for the Traci Lords scene, but instead, found myself watching the 79-minute original version from 1985, and 1986 VHS release. I think it was a VHS transfer too, because it was grainy, with audible pops, but hey, that’s what you get when trying to watch dirty movies from the past.

From trying to figure out information on this release for this review, I ended up watching the last adult video from Traci Lords, the one she filmed when she was 18, in France. That one has some solid performances, especially her opening sequence, and the final MWW scene in which she screams at one point. “American Babylon” is Richard Mahler’s anti-establishment, anti-religious, anti-suburban movie that has a lot to uncover if you watch more than just the sex scenes.

You can find several writers that have written far better introductions and full articles on this porno, but it really is art. You may not be able to watch this with your hands in your pants, because you start to catch Mahler’s work. Roger Watkins is the credited director, but it’s Richard Mahler of course, and if you know your cinema history, then you know what this is about. With that in mind, this is a split dirty movie. It makes fun of pornography, it makes fun of the viewer, and it makes fun of people that watch it in their homes, and at pornographic theaters. It’s hilarious to think about, but it’s an all-out blitz of mocking you for watching it, and even worse if you pleasure yourself or believe in the “American Dream”.

The title is not something deeper than getting marketing. The director only named this movie that because he wanted to capitalize on the popularity that was being pushed through the adult world with the name “Babylon”. At the end of the day, this is an adult film, and yes, you can get off, but it’s grainy, and more artsy than it should be. This is before the industry turned into a gonzo, hotel room raunch from the 1990s and 200s. This is a film, recorded in 35MM and raunchy, with a side of art. Soiled Cinema said it is the type of porno that Goddard would make (link below). I can see that.

If you get turned on by hand jobs, then you’ll love some of the close ups on this one, as there are a few nice ones. The last one especially got my Spidey senses tingling. But other than that, I love the poster and the oversized VHS box better than the movie itself. That’s just me, though. I’m weird, I guess. Taija Rae is awesome, I never heard of her before watching this one, so good for her. That’s the end of this review, I’m going to get back to do literally anything else.

Rating for “American Babylon”, if you ask me, is 3 out of 5 stars.

You can pick this one up from Adult DVD Marketplace, used. Or if you’re a detective, you can find it online somewhere to download, just not here, because I don’t provide you with that. I only review what I find and see, because I’m an idiot. If you want to send me cash, I can try to track down a dvd or link, otherwise, do your own homework. This movie is cool for collectors, and those that really like Tija Rae.

Oh, and if you like the poster, you can get it by clicking here, because they sell it.

For a far better write up, visit Soiled Cinema, the writers there are way better than I am. I'm just a dude going through a box of porn, reviewing it because I have time on my hands, and I'm an idiot.