James Deen's Sex Tapes: First Time Pornos (2013) Review

James Deen's Sex Tapes: First Time Pornos (2013) Cover

I’m not that familiar with modern porn, so I when I came across this release from Evil Angel, I didn’t know what to expect. All I knew was that it starred James Deen, and it focuses on amateurs that signed up to have sex with James based on his website. These are the first time adventures for these girls, and I don’t know if they have gone on to do more, but that’s not the point. James Deen goes forward with getting an interview segment, then going forward with having sex with these women on camera. This is directed and produced by James Deen, and well, there’s not a whole lot more I can say about this to start. The modern movie we will review today is “James Deen's Sex Tapes: First Time Pornos”, and it came out in 2013 from Evil Angel studio. It’s in high definition, and it features sex with all new comers, and of course James Deen.

Before getting started, it should be known that 3 of the 5 women on the main feature did in fact do other movies, two of which have a long filmography in porn. Two of them do not, they are simply in this movie and that’s it.

The first scene begins and it’s James Deen interviewing Kenzie Vaughn about how to get into porno. The two just talk on a blue couch and it’s a jovial conversation. It seems like something that occurs when you talk to people in general. The two are comfortable, and just talk, and that’s about it. After about fifteen minutes of talking and interviewing, the two discuss how to get into the porn industry, etc. There’s nothing to talk about here until the around the 17 minute mark, and the tension starts to boil over before the two start to get familiar.

At around the 18 minute mark, James Deen gets Kenzie Vaughn to sit on his lap, and the two start to dry hump. This is a sensual starting point, and something that is missing from a lot of gonzo movies. There’s a focus on sensuality, but then it gets a bit harder. Within a couple of minutes, Deen grabs Vaughn by the neck and starts to choke her, but she likes it. Then the two start to undress, with Vaughn getting everything off while Deen keeps his clothing on. Kenzie Vaughn is a thin, average looking girl with short brunette hair. She cums within the first five minutes of starting the sex scene with James Deen using his hands to make her cum, and she moans quite a bit, moves wildly, and enjoys the process of Deen’s hands doing the work. There’s a focus on hands, and eventually she reaches for Deen’s pants and he gets hard, allowing Vaughn to start blowing him. There’s no problem getting hard here, and Deen is all in with it. The momentum shifts and the two start to have sex on a blue couch, which looks like an average apartment, more than a set. The two go forward with reverse cowgirl on a couch, and then continue to work with hard sex, Deen using his hands on her neck, and using his hands to stimulate while inserting at the same time. They go through many different positions on the couch, and it’s quite heavy, with Vaughn moaning throughout and getting really excited while Deen does a majority of the work. After a lot of back and forth, Deen eventually cums in Vaughn’s face, and she blows him after, he even gets some in her eye, and she of course doesn’t like it, but the sex is over. Kenzie Vaugh is a uniquely thin, beautiful, hipster looking woman. She obliges to lick up cum off the couch, and then kiss Deen, the two sharing some intimate after moments.

The end of the first scene goes into the new scene right away. This is a POV scene and it starts with Presley Hart blowing James Deen. I kid you not. There’s no music here, just straight blowing from a lovely lady. Presley Hart is thin, nude, has smaller breasts, minimal makeup, and has reddish brown hair. There’s no interview here, it’s straight forward to the sex, and the camera stays on what Presley Hart does, blowing Deen. The set here looks like the kitchen of an ordinary condo or apartment, and nothing too fancy. After some time, Deen goes in with Presley on the floor, and the camera stays stationary to catch the process. You see a lot of Presley’s face, and Deen going in from the top down. The two go at it for a while, then Presley stands up and Deen takes a break with her. The two take a break to eat and drink a little breakfast. They talk a little bit, and they don’t get back to sex for a short span. Presley Hart is taller than the last girl, and has a tight, thin body, with a small tattoo next to her pubic area. She’s not completely shaved, and she acts like a girlfriend with Deen here, instead of just a hardcore sexual partner. After eating a little, thet wo go back to having sex, this time on a dining room table with the camera fixed on a better angle. After multiple positions, no music, and some good overall dirty talk, the two engage in some anal, then back to doggy within a short span, and goes all in until the finish. He eventually cums onto Presley’s body, and she opens her mouth and sucks him a little, and that’s that.

The scene ends and we are taken to an interview with a woman named Luna Bast. She is a pale brunette with a girl next door look. Deen and Bast talk for a while before heading to a bedroom and getting a bit more acquainted. In the bedroom, Deen starts with using his hands to get Bast a bit hot and she reaches for his pants to help with the momentum, giving him a blow job. Luna Bast and James Deen go straight to a blow job, and the sex begins. The set is a normal bedroom area, nothing fancy, good lighting, and no music. The two go through many different positions, and it’s mostly silent with Luna Bast not really moaning or doing much. They go from position to position, and work through a lot of sexual elements but nothing here stands out. At around the 2 hour 17 minute mark there’s a bit of moaning from Luna, but nothing major, as she just takes all that Deen has, making this an interesting scene if you like watching with no sounds other than the movement of flesh in and out. After going through a lot of motions, including standing up and having sex, Deen finishes in Luna Bast’s mouth and that’s the end of the scene. It was hard, but the two didn’t seem to have nearly as much chemistry, or at least Bast is a silent type even though Deen put in a lot of work for this one.

Moving back to the outdoors we are met with Dahlia Sky. James Deen introduces himself and thet wo have a good back and forth talking about porn and how one may know the other, etc. It’s a basic outdoor interview, and I don’t have a lot to say about this. Dahlia Sky is a small, California girl, with dirty blonde hair, and reminds me of a girl I went to college with in 2007. She’s got a punk sensibility to her, but not like gutter punk, rather a California rocker girl, and she’s cute, more than standard porn chiq, if that makes sense. The two hang out a bit and they talk for the most part, nothing too complex, and they eventually smoke a cigarette and then kiss a little. After this, they go back to her apartment and the real sex begins.

Once inside the apartment, James Deen and Dahlia Sky start to make out heavily. Sky has her upper arm tattooed, and her breasts are average size, not too big, but all natural. Deen spends a lot of time kissing her and the two seem to have some good chemistry overall. Deen goes in for oral for the starting line of sex, then Sky gets on her knees and delivers a blow job with a lot of spitting and double hands. She works it well, and talks a little dirty, before the two decide to go to the bedroom. The apartment here is dirty, the floors are gross, and you can’t help but think about whether this is a set or just some girl’s random apartment. The pictures in the background suggest that this is a random girl’s apartment, and that’s it. Deen does well in the POV camera angle here, and it’s not a great sequence, but it is on par with the rest of the picture. No music, just the sounds of sex happen here, but I can’t help but look at the dirty floor and the background of this apartment that Sky has. They move to the bedroom where the camera stays in one place, and you see all the action. The majority of this is done in three positions, and Deen goes in hard while slapping Sky’s butt at times. Sky moans a lot, loudly, and receives as good as she gives, with Deen really going to town with her thin, young body. Over some time, she gets back on her knees and blows him for the finish. The finish here is all about POV blow job sequencing, and that’s what you get until the finish where Deen cums. There’s no crazy money shot here, as it looks like Sky swallows, and well that’s that. Fade to black, and we go to the next scene.

The next scene starts and we are back to the original apartment, with the blue couch. Only this time you have a different lighting, so the couch doesn’t look as blue. This scene features a hipster girl with an undercut, and short hair. She laughs a lot, and has glasses. She’s the ultimate hipster looking woman, and she’s beautiful. She’s only known as Girl X, and gets a lengthy interview in this scene before anything happens. The two converse a great deal and then eventually tart to kiss.

On a blue couch Girl X and James Deen begin to disrobe and he uses his hands to stimulate the girl before getting a blow job. Again, no music, just the couch setting, and some subtle lighting, with the camera staying in one place recording all of the action. You hear the sounds of sex, and you see it all, but in this one, Girl X doesn’t take her top off. Deen receives oral for a great part of this, before eventually standing up Girl X and entering, at first she says “ouch”, then receives everything he has and goes hard, with her cumming several times, and switching positions here and there. The two go through various points of sex, and it’s exactly you’d expect, nothing too crazy to mention. Because the camera is just in one place, you just get the motions and the focused sexual moments that you’d expect with Deen doing a lot of the work and Girl X moaning and screaming through the sex. Eventually she cums so many times that she quits. The two stop and take a breath, then start up again. Deen wears a condom throughout and eventually finishes, and that’s the end. Nothing extra with this one, no major money shot.

I give “James Deen's Sex Tapes: First Time Pornos” a 3 out of 5.

The reason I can’t give this more of a rating is because it’s gonzo. I don’t like gonzo porn. However, it has no music, it is interview then sex, and it features a few women that are still in the business and others that aren’t. I didn’t hate it, mind you, but it just seemed a bit much after a while. Deen was able to keep it up for the most part, and it was pure sex, with a one camera, and POV filming element. It’s not a bad porno, and fans of James Deen will think that this is a good one. It’s not bad, it’s not great, but it’s somewhere in the middle. If you like long formatted sex, then this is a good one for you. You’ll mostly likely get a lot out of this one because it’s a long one, and it features a great deal of pure sex.

You can purchase James Deen's Sex Tapes: First Time Pornos on DVD and see it for yourself by clicking here and picking it up or streaming it outright. It’s not bad.

The Office XXX Parody (2009) Review

The Office XXX Parody (2009) Blu Ray

By this point, you’ve probably seen both version of the hit television show “The Office”. Well, with every hit show there comes a great deal of changes that come through. One of them is that there’s sex involved, meaning that there will be a sex parody. Now, I’ve reviewed a lot of older parodies, but this is the newest of reviews. The same old thing that you’d expect from the show, but this is porn, so it’s just funny, and not quite the same. “The Office XXX” is a 2009 parody that stars a lot of known names, and some not so known. In this movie that went straight to DVD and Blu Ray, you get Jenna Haze, James Deen, Ashlynn Brooke, Stephanie Swift, Codi Carmichael, Dane Cross, Faye Reagan, Gianna Michaels, Dahlia De’Nyle, Ralph Long, Rocco Reed, Alexis Texas, and Mark Wood. I hear there’s a second movie that was made in this series, but for this review, we focus on the 2009 version.

The movie opens up with the invitation of the camera crew as they were filming a documentary at the offices of a parody of Dunder Mifflin. The team is introduced, and they all have parts to play similar to what you’d expect from the show, but after a few minutes, within 5 minutes to be exact, you get thrown into the sex of the movie, leaving plot behind, as you’d expect from modern porn.

The first scene features Jenna Haze and James Deen. Jenna Haze is a famous porno star, and she’s looking a little older at this point, and James Deen is looking great as usual, despite the allegations that I’ve read about online. The two are supposed to be in a back office having sex, but they are so loud, that it breaks the idea of the being secret. Haze is a good performer, and has real chemistry with James Deen. The two flow through their scene relatively well, and it’s what you’d expect, office sex, with a classical music, jazzy tune in the background. Deen goes through the motions here, and it’s Haze that seems to enjoy it more than Deen, which is interesting to see. Haze is a beautiful lady, so this scene is quite hot for fans, and she seems to get into this one. At around twenty some odd minutes for so, the two go at it standing up, until Deen has to cum and finishes pointed at Haze’s mouth and that’s the end of the line for this scene. Not a bad one, not a great one, but definitely interesting with Jenna Haze, as she’s quite lovely.

The movie continues with a random interview about how sexual harassment in the office is a real deal. Then out of the blue, a lesbian scene begins. This scene is with Ashlynn Brooke and Stephanie Swift. Now, Stephanie Swift is one of my personal favorite ladies in the business, and I always wanted to meet her. I hear she’s living in Las Vegas and a part of the XXX Church group, retired, etc. IN this scene, you simply get a straight forward lesbian scene in the work place. It’s not a great one, but it’s not bad either. There’s a great deal of oral and a strap on used, and both women look great. Swift has several orgasms here, and Brooke is a lovely young blonde to her credit. The two take turns with oral, and the strap on and just go through the motions of lesbian sex. It’s a hot scene, with some real chemistry between the two.

The movie progresses to a scene where the fake Dwight and Jim are having a bit of a scuffle over being annoying to one another. We get some behind the scenes commentary like you would watch in the show, and some idiosyncratic moments of his personality.

After a little back and forth, we get a cut scene to Codi Carmichael and Dane Cross in the back room of the office, and they engage in sex. A young blonde and a fake Dwight go through the throws of passion on a puke looking couch, and it’s exactly how you would think. It’s a bit forced, with a little passion, and just the motions that you would probably expect from a porno. The two go through various positions, including oral, doggy, reverse cowgirl, and more, until Dane eventually cums on Carmichael’s chest. It’s an average scene, at best if you ask me. It’s not that grand.

The movie moves to an office meeting. It’s about sexual harassment. As the meeting continues Gianna Michaels shows up as a stripper and dances for the people. That causes a sex scene to ensue, and it features Faye Reagan and Michaels on a desk. The two have good chemistry together, and they play nicely. Reagan looks like a high priced Las Vegas escort that I know, and Michaels is a hot milf with dark hair, and large breasts. The two go through several positions of oral, then a strap on, and they maintain all the action on the desk of the office, going back and forth and showing off the intimate nature of sex, and orgasms. It’s not a bad scene, and a leg up from the previous lesbian scene in the movie. The techno music throws me off a little, but other than that, this is a good scene to watch.

Don’t want to read the rest of the review? You don’t have to! Buy “The Office XXX Parody” from 2009 on Blu Ray, DVD, and streaming by clicking right here.

Up next, we are back at the office, and there’s a few guys and Dahlia De’Nyle hanging around. They decide it’s time to have sex, and that’s exactly what they do on the desks of the office. That’s it, nothing too crazy I guess, a standard threesome, with a bit of a robotic performance from the guys, and Dahlia saying the same old tired lines you would expect in a porno. She seems to get into it midway through the scene, however, and that makes it quite nice. However, at the 1 hour 43 minute mark, you see the boom mic wires on the right hand of the screen! What the hell? Throws me way out of the scene, and makes me laugh that there’s another blooper found in a porno. There’s no DP here, but the scene is lengthy, and features a lot of back and forth, no condoms, and an eventual finish on De’Nyle’s body. It’s not a bad scene, mind you, it’s just a bit robotic throughout the sequence. At one point one of the guy is pulling on a piece of rope, he’s not hard, and forces a cum shot, which was kind of sad. Oh well, that’s the porn world. The music is a jazzy, new wave tune, with a terrible bass line. Not a great ending, as you see a lot of rope and the actress getting the day done.

The final scene of the movie is a threeway, and it’s a doozy for fans of young blonde stars. Alexis Texas, Ashlynn Brooke and Mark Wood get in on this scene that starts with the standard, oral, and then quickly progresses into multiple positions on the desk of the office. For his part, Mark Wood does a lot of good here, he throws himself at these women with full force, and the women reply with equal enthusiasm. This is definitely a great sequence, and while Wood looks to be in “work” mode, it doesn’t matter, because the women seem to be really into the process here, and that makes for an interesting scene. Overall, the women are loud, Wood lasts a longer time than others, and there’s a lot of orgasms fake or not found in this sequence. The trio seem to move forward through every position, and Wood never loses his cool and just keeps pushing forward and grabbing on for dear life. Eventually, after a lot of back and forth between the two, Wood can’t hold on and leaves it all out on the butts of these two blonde performers. It ends like you’d think, and that’s it, the end of the show.

The movie ends with a few comedy elements. And that’s about it. Lee Roy Myers wrote and directed this one, and it’s the end of the show, with the credits rolling as if you’re watching The Office television show.

I give “The Office XXX Parody” a 3 out of 5.

It didn’t have a lot of gusto here, but it did have a lot of good throughout. Not enough to keep my attention through every scene, but enough to recommend it to the casual fan, which is not bad, but it’s up to you.

You can find “The Office XXX Parody” from 2009 on Blu Ray, DVD, and streaming by clicking right here.