Vendetta (2017) Review

Vendetta (2017) DVD and Poster 

Today we are going modern. We are going to venture into something that I don’t do often, and that’s going forward into something newer. With that in mind, let’s venture to the year 2017, April 2017 when a 95 minute movie from Wicked Pictures came out and started to win some serious awards. This is very much a high budget production, but that doesn’t mean that it has the film grain that I love. It is filmed in HD, but it’s still very much soap opera or Netflix style camera work. It is NOT like what you would see on the big screen, even from the golden era of porn. That doesn’t make it bad, it’s just a fact that I saw from the opening sequencing. It’s on par with a Mexican soap opera at times. This movie is called "Vendetta", and it is directed by Stormy Daniels, and is released by Wicked Pictures. The stars of this movie includes Asa Akira, Kleio Valentien, Stormy Daniels, Kenzie Taylor, Lucas Frost, Brendon Miller, Marcus London, Kimber Woods, and Michael Vegas. It’s not a long movie, but it has a plot that is going to be worth checking out for some, and for others, it will be another movie that they skip to the sex scenes, because afterall this is a porno, right?

Before jumping into the viewing, I want to look at the synopsis. In this movie, Celeste, our main character is left with a rich husband that is stuck in a wheelchair. She needs to find pleasure, and he can’t give it to her. The husband gets mad, and hires a private eye, and that creates some serious problems, as the woman is actually someone much more dangerous than he ever knew, hence the name, Vendetta. Fun, right?

Let’s get into the movie, roll it!

The opening scene shows Stormy Daniels riding a horse, and it’s legit her. She can ride, and that’s really cool. Daniels is a tall blonde, and she rides this horse with care, the camera editing enjoying her movements. She’s busty here, but she’s fully covered up, as she rides through the ups and downs of riding for sport. We are introduced to Celeste and her man, and we see how terrible the acting truly is. Stormy Daniels comes down the stairs, her husband just hanging out, and that’s it. She says she is going to leave, and decides to just take off. The husband calls someone and says she’s doing it again. She jumps in a car with Asa Akira, and away we go.

We then see the women driving to an undisclosed location, and then we see them pair up and find another woman and go into a bathroom. There’s red lighting here, and a sign that says that it’s a bathroom, as it says “toilet”, in case you’re not smart enough to pick up on it. The three women are at a club or somewhere, because the bathroom is lit with a red light, red light district type of thing. We see the tall blonde in Stormy Daniels, and we see Asa Akira a beautiful Asian woman, and Kleio Valentien a tall, tattooed blonde, and the three start to kiss and giggle, and then get into sex. The trio go through some standard lesbian sex, and then bring out toys for the camera to see. The camera work and editing here is ok, but the techno beat, the red lighting, and the constant cuts hurt my head. The moaning, and the process works well, and the women are beautiful, including wearing heels, tight dresses, and more. However, there’s a lack of something, that “it” factor, although the women use toys, go through DP with them, the confines of a bathroom doesn’t lend itself well enough for this scene to really get off the ground.

After the club scene, we then see Stormy Daniels and Asa Akira talking about random things. They try to act, and it’s not terrible. The makeup job on these women is really good. The camera editing is good, the conversation is bland, and we see the women supposedly at a restaurant, but it’s not that great at all. The set design leaves something to be desired. Meanwhile, as the women leave, there’s a random voyeur taking shots of them, most likely the private eye. The husband here is the same guy from the movie “Stupid Cupid” by the way! It’s Kyle Stone!

We are in a backyard now. We see Celeste and her husband just talking and having breakfast. The two argue about whether she has been faithful or not, and that makes her storm off. He starts to dial his phone and call a detective and say that he doesn’t know what to do. He then calls his lawyer. The lawyer then turns around after talking on the phone, and we get into a new sex scene.

The lawyer here is played by Kenzie Taylor. SHe’s a tall blonde with large breasts, tattoos, and a nice makeup job. She has large fake breasts, and invites Lucas Frost to kiss her and start to get through the motions of sex. Taylor takes her top off, as Lucas pulls her skirt down and underwear, before starting to give her oral. She’s pale, has a French tip manicure, and is quite sexy here. She has a full pubic mound of hair, and Lucas begins to use his fingers and tongue to get through the intiial warming of Taylor’s vagina, including making her cum at the 21 minute mark. She moans, and he continues, and this is one hell of a start to a scene. As far as looks are concerned, Taylor looks like a high end escort, and performs with a certain magnitude that you’d expect from them. Lucas Forst is not a big guy, he doesn’t have a giant penis, and is shaved completely. We get into deep throat here, and while it’s adequate, he seems to be in mechanical mode for the most part. A condom gets put on, and the sex begins, with that robotic push at first, but after a blow job that wasn’t half bad, it’s a welcome point of interest. It almost looks like there are two condoms being put on here, but it’s something that I can’t really qualify as a truth. It just looks that way to me. Taylor moans a great deal, keeps her garters on, and her stockings, as the positions shift from the desk, moving forward. The camera stays close enough, and the movie continues to the eventual cum shot in the face, and that’s that, nothing too complex, nothing too exciting, but rather just status quo for adult cinema in the modern era. I did appreciate the set being more than a warehouse and the dialogue moving the story along, but the rest was somewhat ordinary, for lack of a better term.

We move forward with a fade to black. Stormy Daniels and Asa Akira are having lunch on a balcony overlooking the Hollywood Hills. This is a house that is supposed to be a restaurant, but it really is just a home. Stormy Daniels goes to make a call in the bathroom, and she looks in the mirror, her husband calling her to find out where she is. She returns to the lunch table, and talks to Asa Akira. The two go through some boring dialogue about how if you cheat a lot you’ll get caught. They talk about how Celeste’s husband is dealing with being in a wheel chair and that things are tough.

We fade to black again, and then see Stormy Daniels in a full horse riding suit with Brendon Miller. Miller is a tattooed, hard looking guy, and Stormy looks great in a riding outfit. The two start to kiss a bit, and undress, showing off Stormy’s large breasts, and full figure. She’s blonde, she’s got a large frame, and she is definitely a hot blonde. The clothes come off and Stormy gets eaten out by Brendon Miller, with slow strokes of the tongue, as there is no music playing, and you get that high definition modern porn look into what is going on. Stormy gets on top for sex, and Miller has a condom on, she moves in and out with ease, doing a lot of the work up and down, and around, the two having a bit more than mechanical sex, with some kissing to boot. The two go through various positions, and end up doing well here, with Stormy making it seem like she’s really into the sex, including anal at one point. The anal option isn’t bad, but condoms are still in play. Eventually we get a cum shot into Stormy’s mouth, and she sucks Miller offer after the fact, which is always a fun thing to watch and experience. Stormy here is looking more like Janine because of a tattoo that she has around her pubic area and waist, alongside tattoos in other areas. She definitely is an alt girl here, and the sex, while interesting at times, is formulaic with Stormy just playing the role and not truly showcasing the passion that you’d want from a real sexual experience. Sure, it works, sure Miller cums, but he’s not a big guy, and the two work well enough to make the movie work well moving forward, but it’s just lacking something, and I think it’s passion. There are moments where it is really good, don’t get me wrong, and if you’re a fan of Stormy Daniels, you’ll like how she moves her body for this scene, as there are some great points.

After we see this, we go to a bar. At this bar we see Stormy and Asa talking about how someone’s trying to kill Stormy’s character. She says, that her husband has hired someone to kill her, and so here we go, the plot thickens a bit. Asa Akira goes over to the hitman that is sitting at the corner of the bar. Akira starts talking about how she thinks he’s Michael, and said that if he was Michael she was going to have sex with him.

Outside, we see Stormy and a random dude, and unfortunately her car has broken down. She agrees to go with him to a hotel. Meanwhile on the other side of the parking lot is Asa Akira, and she is in all black, talking to the hitman, and making out on a car.

Asa Akira is an asian woman with black hair, slim, and has large breasts, she gets her breasts exposed during the make out session, then Marcus London takes his pants off as she crouches down. It’s dark, but you can see he gets hard right away, and Akira starts to suck him off, going as hard as she can as he groans a bit. Akira continues to do this as the camera gets close and then pulls away, showing off Akira’s skill here. She’s quite enthusiastic overall, and really puts on a show until London cums in her face, and ends the scene. I guess he wasn’t the hitman after all?

The scene resets and we see Celeste, played by Stormy and the real hitman get behind closed doors. There’s a slight fade to black, before we see the guy poor some Woodford Reserve or Gentleman Jack, and the two start to drink. They sip whiskey, neat, and just look to be getting ready to get a little more comfortable. A donnybrook breaks out, and the two start to fight a bit, and there’s some sexual tension, before Celeste gets the better of the dude, and she chokes him out with a painting. After some time, she gives the guy a triangle choke hold before grabbing a vase and shattering it over his head. She knocks the dude out, and leaves him alone in the room.

The scene fades to black and we are taken to another room, this time it’s daylight and there are two people making out.

Kimber Woods has small breasts, black hair, and looks to be having a lot of fun with Michael Vegas. Vegas takes her top off and then starts to use his hands to please her, before taking off her pants and giving her more pleasure. The set here looks like a trailer park, with a green couch, and a random setup. This is an odd turn, but the sex is actually better than the rest of the movie. Vegas has a condom on, and he really goes far with Kimber, including nearly making her squirt at one point. This is the best sex scene in the movie, and by the time Vegas cums, it’s definitely warranted after the work he puts in to make Kimber moan and nearly scream at some point. Kimber is a nice girl, pretty, and wears heels for this, so if you’re a fan, you’ll love the sexual chemistry that Vegas and Kimber bring out together.

After the sex, we see Stormy Daniels show up, and pay off a woman to help with killing off her husband, at least that’s what we seem to be getting here. The scene ends and we see Celeste pointing a gun in the face of her husband. This last scene goes forward with finishing off the plot, and it involves a great deal of dialogue. After some time explaining, Celeste shoots her husband and away we go, the end.

I give “Vendetta” a 3 out of 5.

While I appreciate the cinematography, and attempts at better acting, I can only say that the sex isn’t that good. Stormy Daniels can write, act, ride horses, and make a good modern porno. It’s modern, it has a story that’s somewhat compelling, and it features enough sexual gusto to make it somewhat entertaining for a pornographic movie. Daniels is beautiful, I like her voice too, but in terms of sex, I can’t really recommend this one more than 3 out of 5. There are two stand out scenes in terms of sex, and the rest is story and somewhat mechanical. However, if you’re a fan of Stormy Daniels, and you like to see her in action, then you’ll want to check this one out for sure, it’s modern and it’s high budget.

Teen Manipulations (2013) Review

Teen Manipulations (2013) Poster and DVD Cover

I don’t really put a lot of focus on gonzo porno movies. I just don’t usually like them, but after some consideration, I’m going to break my focus yet again. This time around we are going to move back to 2013 to review a movie that stars Tony D, Alana James, Stella May, Tony De Sergio, Dakota Skye, Levi Cash, and Daisy Haze. This movie is distributed by Forbidden Fruits FIlms, and was directed by Levi Cash. It’s only 97 minutes long, and well, it is aimed at the teen genre. The movie is called, “Teen Manipulations” and it was released in 2013. Let’s take into consideration this movie, and whether or not it’s good.

We move forward with the movie, and we see Alana James alone, in a house. The house is nice, not a set, and we see Tony D show up to talk to her, and eventually convince her to have sex. Alana James is a thin, all natural, shaved, dark hair mixed young woman. Tony D has a distinctive tribal tattoo on his arm and shoulder, and is older, but not super old in comparison. He gets hard fast, and Alana James gets to work. The start is Alana James blowing Tony D with a great deal of gusto, and it’s not half bad. The sex starts, and it’s not that bad, with a focus on a nice set, well lit bedroom, with multiple positions. There’s no music, it’s just the sounds of sex, and Tony D lasts a bit long here. James looks young, moans a lot, and seems to enjoy the process of this film. After about 23 minutes or so, we end up with a cum shot from Tony D on Alana James’ stomach and that was that. The scene ends, and the sex is a bit sterile at times, with James not really into it towards the end, and well, Tony D sweating a lot, and talking to her. There’s a minimal amount of kissing, and she just doesn’t seem that thrilled by the end of it, and it’s just somewhat telling. I don’t know, there’s a vulnerability to it that just seems odd.

We move along to the next scene, and this time we see Stella May and Tony De Sergio talking at the front door of another house. This is not a set, it looks like a nice condo or townhome. Stella May and Tony discuss school and random things. Stella May looks about 19 to 20 years old here, has mid-lengths straight brown hair, and wears a pink top and green tight shorts. Just like the other scene, May is convinced to have sex. May is all natural, shaved, and looks like the girl next door. The two get nude, Stella May starts with a blow job with some strength, and it’s not half bad. As the scene progresses in a random bedroom with pink sheets, the lighting is good, there’s no music, and things ramp up swiftly. May and Tony go through a great deal of different positions here, and she seems to really enjoy the process. Tony and May have more chemistry than the first couple, and it shows, throughout the tensing of May’s abdominal area and the amount of moaning she does with Tony pushing hard.

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Another scene begins, and this time it’s director Levi Cash entering a living room with a brown couch. This seems like a set, not a house, it’s extremely well lit, but that’s a good thing. Cash keeps his polo on at first, and Dakota Skye starts to feel the pressure to have sex. She’s thin, blonde, very white, and all natural. Levi Cash isn’t that old, and he’s living a dream world, honestly, as he gets into this fast, and Skye seems to be enjoying it. Dakota Skye starts with a blow job, and Cash reciprocates with oral, then we get into the sex and it is fast, and to the point. This is a loud, casual sex scene on a brown couch, so it's not horrible, and if you like thin blondes, Skye is your dream girl in many ways.

The final scene on this release showcase Daisy Haze and Levi Cash. This is another simple setup. What seems like a home invasion turns into a sexual romp with Daisy Haze and Levi Cash. Daisy Haze is a girl next door looking young lady, she has small breasts, tan skin, and looks like a young Olivia Munn. If you’re a fan of Olivia Munn, she could easily be a sister. Cash shows up in a suit, and things start to move towards what we are here for overall. We start with Levi Cash giving Daisy Haze oral, and getting her to start moaning fast. The two move into a bedroom, and it’s somewhat sterile, and plain. The lighting is good though, and the progression of this features a little more chemistry than the rest of the movie. The sex goes through the normal positions that you’d expect, and it isn’t half bad. There’s no condoms, it just moves forward straight forward, and it’s not half bad. Cash is in work mode, and Haze moans and genuinely seems like she’s having fun at times, cumming, and allowing Cash to do his thing. He gets into director’s mode at times, and he gives a little more for his performance, going further here than in his previous scene. Including light choking, spanking, and being more aggressive with the sex. After a while, multiple positions, and cum b. Last on Haze’s stomach, we end our movie, and that’s that. Nothing too crazy here, and what seems like a lackluster kiss at the end. There’s something a bit odd with the ending, but maybe that’s just good acting? I don’t know.

The premise of the film works throughout, coercing the women to have sex with the men, and then their face of remorse after the fact. But overall, they seem to be having fun, but that’s the magic of porn, right? This is not a super sexy movie, but it works on a directorial, visual design, and porn level for modern options.

I give “Teen Manipulations” a 3 out of 5.

You can purchase “Teen Manipulations” by clicking here, and it is shot in HD, and it stars some young women from the porn world that may or may not be back in place. I’m not a big fan of gonzo, but this is a little more than that. It’s straight forward sex, and isn’t half bad. Click HERE and you can purchase this in HD, stream it, and even download it.

Sluts of the Nyle 3: Cream Filled Sluts (2001) Review

Sluts of the Nyle 3 (2001) Poster

Well, after some time off, and switching computers, we have come full circle, and we are back to reviewing adult movies. For those of you that missed the reviews, you didn’t miss much, you got a review of a John Holme’s feature. Today, we are going to be going upwards to the year 2001. So we get into a new era of porno, this time around going with gonzo pornography, which I personally always hated. I still hate it. I’m not a fan of gonzo, but at times you have to review them for the most part. This movie in question that we will be talking about is that of, “Sluts of the Nyle 3: Cream Filled Sluts” and it came out in 2001. It was directed by Jewel De’Nyle and was distributed by Jill Kelly Productions.

Since this is a gonzo production, the movie flows right into what you would expect, showing off the sex, and you don’t get much else to start. The starting line is set, with the credits, then going into a bathroom where we see Jill Kelly in lingerie talking about how she wants to get started and go with Julian.

For the first scene, we watch Jill Kelly in a nice bathroom in the Hollywood Hills somewhere, next to a tub. Enter Julian, and she takes off his briefs, and starts to blow him immediately. The two were once a couple, so they have a bit of chemistry. If you’re a fan of Jill Kelly, then you’ll appreciate her skills here, as they are on full display. She sucks Julian off well with a blow job that is a little messy, alongside a track of techno music that is horrible. The angles are right in there, so you see the whole thing, and she really gets to the meat of it, so to speak. Kelly does well here, focusing on pleasing Julian, who gets hard immediately. After a bit of changeover, some more oral, and position changes, the sex begins. There’s no condom for this, so it’s straight sex, with the two going through the motions for the most part. Jill Kelly has her implants here, and she does ok with Julian, bu you can tell it’s just “work” at this point as she’s not nearly as vocal as she was when she was in “Car Wash Angels”, which is still my all time favorite from Jill Kelly’s career. The finish of this one has Jill taking a cream pie from Julian and that’s it. He cums, and keeps pushing in and out and you see the aftermath, and that’s it. The music is horrible, the bathroom set is fine, the lighting is ok, and the performance is mechanical, but if you love Jill Kelly, then you will appreciate this one, especially the blow job after he cums. It fades to black and we are taken to another scene.

Up next we see Jewel De’Nyle talking to the camera about wanting to get started. The bedroom she’s in is decorate poorly, and looks like someone’s house, or a studio. I’m going to say that it’s just a studio, because it’s so generic, and the lighting is not like a bedroom at all, it’s cast like a studio overall. There’s not much to this scene, as the music starts, and we are taken directly into the action. Jewel De’Nyle starts to blow Joel Lawrence and Mark Wood, as the trio start to go through the motions of a threesome with ease. Jewel De’Nyle has long black hair, has large breasts, and at some point the sex turns into a double penetration scene, with both guys humming in De’Nyle. It’s basic if you ask me, and it’s not that fun to watch, a little mechanical, and while De’Nyle seems to enjoy it a bit, it’s just short, and mechanical.

We move along to another scene, and this time we see Chennin Blanc and Cheyne Collins. Blanc is a blonde hair nordic looking woman, with curves, and large breasts. The dude here has a 2000’s era rock star look to him, and the two have sex on a leopard print bed. The two immediately get into oral, and while it is functional, it again looks robotic to me. The music really throws me off. The bad techno music mixed with a terrible performance from the main guy here is just awful. We get multiple positions from the two, and average sound design, and it’s just average all around. There’s no condom, there’s nothing special here, a blonde haired busty woman, with average looks has sex with some random dude. This makes me not want to have sex, to be honest. Again we get a creampie, although it’s lazy, and well, I gave up on this scene.



For the next scene we move outdoors. It’s there that we see Angelica Sin and Rich Handsome. The two get into the sex with oral first. Angelica Sin has long black hair and a girl next door look, but she dives straight into the oral. Handsome, is not such, and he just goes along with the oral for the most part. Sin has a good quality to her, and while the music sucks again, with a terrible techno beat, the sex starts off promising with some oral that Sin seems very enthused with, including deep throating. She has very large breasts, a tan body, and gets into the action swiftly. The two have sex outdoors on some lawn chairs, and eventually Handsome cums, and that’s that. There’s a bit of anal at one point, but other than that, it’s just a simple sex scene that seems to be over too quickly as the dude can’t hang on.

The final scene shows off Jewel De’Nyle and her long black hair, and Haven. Haven is a tall, small breasted, skinny blonde haired woman. She offers a contrast to De’Nyle, and they both have fun with Dale DaBone. DaBone enters the frame and immediately gets blown, and starts to work with the two women, going all in without a condom. They have sex on a light brown couch, and just goes into each woman back to back. It’s lackluster, De’Nyle’s performance is not great. I should note that the blonde here doesn’t get any sex, she plays with a toy, and watches De’Nyle and Dabone work. It ends with another creampie and we are done, that’s it. Dabone does get blown by Haven at one point, but he only has sex with the brunette, which was boring to me.

That’s the end of the movie, and another reason why I don’t like gonzo porno movies, it just abruptly ends after the sex. Oh well, such are most movies that came out in the 2000s.

I give “Sluts of the Nyle 3: Cream Filled Sluts” a 2 out of 5.

You may like it, if you’re a fan of the actors in this one, but I am not a big fan, it just seemed mechanical to me. Even though I love Jill Kelly, she couldn’t save this one for me.

Casual Encounters (2016) Review

Casual Encounters (2016) Poster

Today we are going modern. We don’t usually do that, so we decided that today was a good day to go back a couple of years for a movie that was released by Wicked Pictures and starts Jessica Drake. Drake plays a woman that wants to have casual encounters, and that’s really the crux of the movie. With that in mind, we are going to venture into a world of casual sex, with this high budget picture. The movie we are reviewing today is called, “Casual Encounters”, which was released in 2016 from Wicked Pictures. The movie stars Jessica Drake, Derrick Pierce, Marcus London, Romi Rain, Eric Masterson, Steven St. Croix, Mr. Pete, and Olivia Austin. It’s a film, more than just a porno, and it shows from the start.

The movie begins with Jessica Drake looking online for dates, and seems to find someone to email. The two then plan on meeting at a bar, and end up talking. This is all filmed with stellar lighting, amazing camera work, and shows more of a “movie” vibe than a porno. If you like high end productions, this one takes the cake, it’s well lit, it has some stellar angles, and it’s regular in terms of movies. It’s not at all gritty, with the sole downside for me being the music, which is a bad EDM production. The movie shows Drake and Derrick Pierce going to a bar and conversing, and that’s really all you see for the first 10 minutes to start the movie. As the movie progresses, the two start to kiss in the corner of a bar, and then signal to go to the back, where the action will no doubt start.

The movie goes to the bathroom, and that’s where we are treated to seeing Jessica Drake and Derrick Pierce having sex. They are just going at it, and it seems to be a natural progression, from kissing to sex. Drake has a red top, long black boots, and a black skirt. She’s a tall woman for the adult film world, has long blonde hair, and medium sized breasts, that may be augmented, but I can’t tell in this scene. Derrick Pierce isn’t a big guy, but he gets hard and lasts. The sex scene starts with Derrick performing oral on Jessica Drake, then the two go into counter sex, with only Pierce going full nude here. As far as the sex goes, it’s ok, a few positions here and there, and Drake trying to moan and look like she’s into it at first, only to finally get into it around the 17 minute mark. Derrick Pierce looks like he’s just concentrating, and while this is very much a sensual scene, it’s a little robotic in nature. If you watch it, you’ll note that it’s mostly business, even when Pierce seems to go in a little harder. After a good amount of back and forth, Pierce cums on Drake, and that’s it. Visually this is well lit, the bathroom is clean, the director does well with the camera, and the performers are ok, but Pierce is noticeably not large, and Drake seems less than enthused for a bit of this movie. The ending was ok, she sucks Pierce off a little, while EDM starts again, and I personally hate the soundtrack.

The movie fades to Derrick reading an email and seeing that Jessica Drake wants another round. He says that he will instruct her, and she is sent on a quest to find a dude to blow.

Drake meets up with a man named Marcus London, or rather that’s the actor’s name. London is a built, ripped guy, and Drake gets on her knees immediately, to start to suck him off. Her skills here are lacking. Drake visually does well, and it’s not a terrible sequence, but it’s definitely visually striking rather than something she seems to be really into. There are moments where she seems to be interested, but London has to just egg her on to continue at times. As far as a blow job scene is concerned, it’s not half bad, and at the 25 minute mark, really starts to take off, as though Drake starts to enjoy herself for a moment, and forgets she’s on film. The two move into the passenger seat of a car, as they are in a parking lot, and they start to have sex, and it’s reverse cowgirl with a condom on. It’s nothing fancy here, just your average sex scene if you ask me. Drake looks bored a bit, and London seems to know it, so he gets her up and asks her to suck him off again, and she obliges, until he finishes. There’s no music here, but the film quality is great here, yet again, giving you great angles, good lighting, and ambient noise as well. London finishes on Drake’s face and that’s it.

We are taken back to Drake’s apartment, and she is just looking off into the distance, seeing what’s around, and nothing more. She then texts Derrick and he says to come over, and he’s in a room having sex with another woman.

There’s a hotel bed, and Romi Rain is in bed with Pierce, having sex. Romi Rain is a voluptuous woman with tan skin, a large tattoo on her body, long black hair, and large breasts. She moans a great deal as Pierce goes in and out of her, and the two are nearly all naked. The two have sex the way you would with an escort, hurried, lacking passion, and just going through the motions. Drake watches and just sits in the corner as the two continue their involvement, which has no sound, other than the moans and the movement of the bed which squeaks. As far as this sex scene is concerned, it’s way better than the previous drake ones, as the two exchange positions, moan a great deal, and is quite good. Even the ending is good with Pierce cumming on Romi Rain. Romi Rain upstages Drake if you ask me, and it’s a good scene with some passion, which is lacking in the other scenes up to this point. At the 52 minute mark, Pierce cums in her mouth, and that’s the end of this sequence.

We go back to Drake texting Pierce, and wants to know what else is next. It’s here that we are taken to a new option. This time around, Pierce drives Drake to a circle of cars in the middle of nowhere. It’s here that she starts to suck off a bunch of guys, while blind folded. This scene features Jessica Drake, Eric Masterson, Mr. Pete, and Steven St. Croix, and it’s mostly a blind folded blow job sequence with the guys keeping their clothes on for the most part, and cars lights shining onto them. It’s straight forward, until around the 1 hour and 5 minute mark when St. Croix starts to have sex with Drake, while she’s still blindfolded. At around the one hour and 9 minute mark, you’re going to get a double penetration moment, with Drake getting pounded and hoked, blind folded, with another guy getting blown at the same time. This is the most interesting of visuals, and it’s really the most hardcore of the sequences that Drake has been in, that I have seen her in, thus far. It truly seems like she gets into the scene, and the director lets the action play on, relatively easy going with Drake actually looking like she’s into the sex. It’s a fascinating push forward, in an otherwise sterile film. All of the guys take turns, and eventually cum on Drake, before Pierce gets out of a car and starts to approach her. Drake takes off her blind fold and starts to blow Pierce while a couple watches in a car.

The scene ends without a money shot, and we are taken to a bathroom in which we see Jessica Drake, just taking a shower. She is in there and taking a shower, soaking up the cleanliness, and that’s it. A nude Jessica Drake starts to masturbate in the shower, and that’s it. If you like solo masturbation scenes, then you may like Drake’s scene here, where you see her completely nude, and notice that she does in fact have breast implants. Visually it’s simple, but the director stays above the waist for a lot of it, making this an odd choice if you ask me. There’s a bit of focus on the masturbation around the one hour and 20 minute mark, but it’s more of an artistic send off than a hardcore sex scene if you ask me. Drake does get herself off though, which is sexy, and finely tuned if you ask me.

The scene fades, and we are taken to a mundane task where Drake is texting Pierce and we are along for the rid. It’s a simple look at Drake with minimal make up and just in regular clothing. I personally like her this way, but that’s just my two cents. She texts Pierce and the two setup a date for later.

At the next meeting, we see Pierce hanging out and waiting for Drake. This next scene features Jessica Drake, Olivia Austin, and Derrick Pierce. We are given a little bit of a story here, as Drake drops a photograph on her. We start to see that Drake has been trying to blackmail this guy for some time, and has been working an angle the whole time, eventually getting her revenge at the end. She then enters the room with the dude’s wife, and there’s some explaining that needs to get done, right? Nope! This is a porno, and we are taken into a whole new world of sex as there’s a threesome. This time around Olivia Austin gets most of the action, and she’s a tall blonde woman with large breasts. Her and drake could be sisters in this. Jessica Drake, Olivia Austin, and Derrick Pierce have sex on a white couch, and it’s visually good, just a bit dry if you ask me. There’s no passion again, and it’s robotic in nature. However, as far as a modern porno is concerned, it has all the elements that you would expect, so I guess in a way it’s not terrible? I can’t complain too much, it’s two hot blondes getting railed on a white couch, simple and plain. Pierce cums on Austin’s face and that’s the end, another movie done.

I give “Casual Encounters” a 3 out of 5. While I am a fan of Jessica Drake’s work at times, visually, I didn’t find this one to be that great. She is a great looking woman, don’t get me wrong, but the sex just didn’t feel passionate at all. She is a stunning woman though, and I’d love to interview her, and maybe clear up some of my criticisms of the sex. Otherwise, it’s a random porno that I probably won’t remember.

Now, if you’re a fan of modern porno, and like the premise of casual encounters, and love Jessica Drake, then by all means, this is a blu ray and DVD you want to get. It’s well made, it looks great, and it will definitely impress a lot of people. It’s a good looking movie, and you can buy it by clicking HERE.

The Villa (2005) Review

The Villa (2005)

We are back again with another porno review, and this time we are going back to 2005. We go back 13 years to see a movie that was shot on film, and was a bit of a film within a film. In this movie, we are going to get focused on what the industry is kind of like, but in a very, cinematic presentation. There’s film grain from the start, and we get thrown into the mix within 5 minutes of starting. The movie we have selected for today is called, “The Villa” and it was released in 2005. It is part of the collection of movies that Janine did with men and women, getting away from her lesbian only content, to do men. This movie stars Janine, Jassie, Evan Stone, Julian, Haley Paige, Tiana Lynn, Vincent Vega, Nick Manning, and Dale Dabone. The dvd version of this movie has a lot of extras, but I got a no-frills review copy, so I can’t comment on that. This movie was directed by Paul Thomas, if that is of interest to any of you.

The movie starts in a large mansion. We see a young brunette talking to a director in a little black dress. The director here is Janine, and she’s talking to the woman and telling her that she has to have more than a pretty face to get involved in the industry. She then starts to dance for Evan Stone, and we get started with the first sex scene. This scene, starts with Jassie and Evan Stone playing with one another, and then move into oral sex, with Janine joining in. There’s a camera guy here that is getting filmed and that’s Julian, and he gets into the action when Janine turns her attention to him. Janine starts to blow Julian, while Jassie and Evan Stone have sex, making this a four way sex scene. This starts fair enough, but Jassie is overshadows by the veteran performers in Julian and Janine. The camera moves around a bit, but you don’t want to see what Evan Stone is doing, even though it looks like he took off his condom at one point. Fans of Janine are going to want to selfishly look at whatever she’s doing, and she moans and is more theatrical than the young one. Julian of course is jacked here, and he is in prime, while Evan Stone is also built, the two throwing down what you would expect from the vets in porn. There’s no music after the initial techno sound, and you get an interesting movement throughout the filming. There’s a roaming camera throughout, and there’s sound that shows off the movement more than anything else. The interior is lit well, the design is great, and the two guys take turns with Jassie, after a while, and you hear Evan Stone and Janine going at it again at the 14 minute mark. Mind you, there’s a lot of sex going on here, all protected, but still with lots of sound and more. You are not going to be left out wondering what is going on, that’s for sure. Before the 15 minute mark, we see dueling masturbation and Stone and Julian cum on their partners, and that’s it. Janine blows Stone after he cums, which is an incredible sight, but other than that, you’ll find that this ends as hot as it began, with dueling cocks showing off, and Janine and the vets throwing down a great scene. Jannie is the missing link here, she’s just not that good.

The scene ends and we see Janine and Evan Stone talking. They are discussing whether or not Janine wants to get involved in movie making, and she says that she doesn’t want to be involved with Gonzo movies, that she wants to be in features. She then says that she will retreat to a villa somewhere for a while, and that’s where we catch up with her next. Janine is scene at a computer, and she starts to type what her movie would be like. We then start to hear some rock music, and see a random dude jogging to what appears to be a lighthouse. Then we see Janine walking around with a hat on, and just going through a walk or something. She goes to the base of her home and picks up her mail. That’s when a random dude runs by, and Janine looks at him with a bit of intent. The rock instrumental reminds me of Soundgarden or Alice In Chains for the most part. As the movie continues, we see that Janine is having a bit of writer’s block, so she starts to imagine the jogger and starts to play with herself before bed. There’s some soft music playing, and there’s a lot of shadow in this bedroom scene. There’s an attempt at art here, not just straight forward sex, which is always a nice touch. Janine goes solo here, and that’s about it, nothing major.

Janine either goes to sleep or wakes up from a dream to find that there are three people in the villa just kissing and having a good time. A terrible looping musical soundtrack begins, and we end up seeing that it’s Vincent Vega, Haley Paige, and Tiana Lynn. Now, I’m not familiar with any of these performers. Haley Paige and Tiana Lynn look young, like in their 20s, and they have French tip nails, long hair, one is dirty brown, and the other is a little more blonde. They are completely shaved, one has large breasts and the others aren’t so big. Vega is clean shaven, latino looking, and seems to get hard fast, but the women are more interested in themselves. After some kissing, we end up getting some foreplay. Haley Paige, and Tiana Lynn start with oral, then give oral to Vega, before the trio start into the hardcore sex. The music stops during the sex, and the trio get down on a black couch. It’s not a great scene, and the women moan a bit dramatically, with Vega doing his best to keep things moving up and up. If you had an “average” porn scene, this would be it. The trio have robotic sex, and while there seems to be an attempt to squirt at around 30 minute mark, there’s nothing major going on other than your standard sex. Even Vega looks a bit robotic here, and there’s a lack of passion. Music restarts around the 31 minute mark, and things continue. This is a longer sex scene than the others, but that doesn’t make it great. The scene ends with Vega finishing o the girls, and that’s it. It’s sterile, and lacking emotion, but visually, it’s well lit, has a nice interior design, and well, it works on the level that it’s straight sex.

The scene ends and the women say that Vega can go and that the other woman can go. One woman tells two to go and then Janine shows up and helps the duo leave. Two people leave in a Jaguar, and it leaves Janine and Hailey Paige all alone.

The movie progresses, and we are taken outside where a gardener is working. Haley Paige is getting nude and feeling the pool water. Meanwhile there’s a random dude jogging, and Janine once again sees him. She offers him some water and stops him. The two talk a bit. Janine asks him if he wants to take a break. He says he cannot take a break, but maybe next week he will be around. Janine says he can definitely come back, and the movie goes back to Haley Paige in the pool. That prompts Janine to come out in a bikini and hat, and then starts talking to Paige.

There’s a lot of filler in this movie, I’m not going to lie. Janine is just meandering through the movie, and we are treated to seeing her moving through different areas. The movie moves to where Janine talks to the random dude at a spot that looks a lot like the Melody Inn near LAX. At around the 45 minute mark there’s a bit of a sex scene, but I’m not sure who it is, it’s not Haley Paige, but it’s a lot of close ups featuring a young waitress and a dildo. But that’s short lived as Janine keeps trying to hit Nick Manning. When Janine sees that Tiana Lynn wants in on the sex she runs away from Manning, and says that she’s not interested in him anymore. Manning goes back to the bar and that’s where Tiana Lynn is waiting for him. Either way, Paige has small breasts, reddish brown hair, and Manning is built and thin overall. The sex is fine, with the two getting oral first, then around the 55 minute mark Tiana Lynn squirts, which is interesting, but manning is just odd, and goes nuts as he drops a load. HE’s like a cartoon in this movie. He makes a lot of noise, and I laughed at the whole thing.

We go back to the Villa and that’s where we see Haley Paige and Janine. They end up in the shower together, and the starting point is lesbian sex, which is normal, I guess, it’s nothing crazy, I can’t complain. It’s slow moving, and Janine looks far older than Paige. Paige and Janine have lesbian sex in a very nice shower, with techno music going on. There’s a lot of kissing, and a lot of fingers used in this complete solution. A dildo shows up at around the 1 hour mark, which is somewhat good I guess. This is a teaching moment more than anything else, and honestly, it’s not a bad scene, but it’s far from what I thought it would be overall. I appreciated the sequence enough, and while it’s well lit, it has some interesting moments, it’s really just somewhat robotic at times. There’s no passion. Oh well.

We move to another scene, and this time we see Haley Paige swimming in the nude when Nick Manning shows up. Nick Manning is a cartoon performer. Haley Paige and Nick Manning start having sex, and it appears to be a part of Janines fantasy more than anything else. He reminds me of the dude that replaced Dirk Diggler in “Boogie Nights”. He’s loud, he’s demanding, and he is like a cartoon to me. “That’s it baby, suck, yeah suck”, is not sexy. He’s built, has a medium sized penis, and yells at times. “YEAH!”, is not something you want to see from a random dude. He moves through the motions of sex with Haley Paige, and I can honestly say that this is the first scene that actually is good with Paige genuinely enjoying the sex, and Manning throwing down some serious edge at around the 1 hour 13 minute mark, which is impressive considering he plays it like a “bro”. If you want to see a comedic moment, just watch this, Manning is hilarious, and perhaps that’s why he kept getting work? This is a parody of porn, right? Oh man, I couldn’t believe it.

There’s a point when Manning calls Janine a cunt, and then she pushes him a pool, and that’s that. He goes away.

The next day we see a gardener coming through the Villa and he starts to get led by Janine into an outdoor patio area. She starts to whisper in his ear, and the two start to make out. Janine slowly caresses him, kisses him lightly, and then the two start to take their clothes off. The gardener here is played by Dale DaBone. He’s an average looking white dude, but this is a focused scene for Janine, which starts easy enough. Dale Dabone starts to give Janine oral, the two start to make out more, and then we are off to the races with sex, including Janine taking off her sun dress. Fans of Janine, waiting for her to have sex without a condom on will get really close around the 1 hour and 21 minute mark where Dabone rubs his penis on Janine’s vagina, without insertion, but just rubbing, and getting wet. It’s an interesting play of sorts, and one that gets cut in favor of more oral. A blanket is put out, and the two start to have sex on it, but you don’t see if Dabone puts on a condom or not, which may be the director’s way of trying to hide the fact. The sex starts smooth, slow, and steady. It’s not that fast, it’s not that hard, it’s just steady and Janine seems to have fun here before she asks for him to cum on her, which he obliges, and ends the scene. The music cuts out, you just hear them have sex, and that’s the end of this scene and the movie for the most part. We go back to Janine eating cake, and looking at a computer screen, and that’s pretty much it. Janine turns in a script, and Evan Stone talks to Evan and then they just share a few moments. Janine shows off the cast, and that’s it, we get a moment where one of the women squirt, and that’s the end. Weird ending.

I give “The Villa” a 3 out of 5.

While I didn’t think it was completely horrible, and I love Janine, I felt that the performances sandwiched between hers weren’t that good. Janine makes up for it, and if you’re a fan of hers, this will be a great option to look into, but other than that, it’s not that great. It has a lot of filler and it’s not that long of a movie.

You can purchase “The Villa” which features Janine in two different boy and girl scenes by CLICKING HERE, and getting all the extra features and scenes.

Next Friday Night (2011) Review

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Mrs. Behavin (2005) Review

Mrs. Behavin (2005) Poster 

We are back to our normal tricks, watching porn and reviewing it for all 2 of you. I had to take a break because I was working on a lot of other things, but I’m back. This starting point is going to be another movie that features a favorite of mine, Janine. Janine, Jelena Jensen, Mandingo, Jean-Claude Batiste, Erik Everhard, Sophia Santi, Scott Nails, and Brooke Haven are all in this movie. The movie that we will be trying to take into consideration, is that of “Mrs. Behavin”, which is touted as being the first major interracial movie that Janine was in, without a condom. She had changed up her career path in the 2000s. Now, There were moments where I saw a condom, so I don’t know, maybe that moniker was just here and there? I don’t know. I can tell you this much, this movie is going to cause a lot of people to hate porn, and I’ll get into why in a moment. The movie was directed by Celeste, and was distributed by Digital Playground. I don’t hear a lot of talk about this one, but hey, that’s just what happens. Let’s get into the movie that is quite different than any other porno I’ve ever seen ever.

The movie starts with action right away, you get some credits and then you are thrown into the action. It’s hardcore, but it has a soft, artsy feel, and there’s a rhythm and blues song playing, as the actors start to get into the action. Janine, Jean-Claude Batiste, and Mandingo start to kiss, and give Janine oral, picking her up in a kitchen and disrobing. The music is horrendous. This is a slow moving sex scene, and eventually ends with Janine getting a couple of facials and that’s it. The song is horrendous, and it lasts too long. Celeste’s direction is nice here, but I’d much rather hear the audio than the music track that covers everything. You don’t hear ANYTHING, mind you, you just have the soundtrack, and the visuals of hardcore. It’s a terrible thing to do with a porno.

The movie switches to a random hardwood floor in a home. It’s Jelena Jensen and she’s playing with underwear, and there’s some acoustic music going on. She starts to play with herself, and then starts to just look at the camera seductively. This is an art piece, and it’s really not that grand. Jelena Jensen is a big breasted brunette, with red lipstick, and reminds me of an escort I once saw in Vegas. She’s pretty, don’t get me wrong, but there’s no sound other than the music, and she just kind of looks at you longingly while she plays with herself a little. This is like watching the old Playboy channel.

The music and scene shifts and we are taken to a white couch in a living room somewhere. It’s here that Sara Stone and Nick Jacobs start to get busy. It looks like a college couple or a couple of high school seniors are going to have sex. Sara Stone is a big breasted, light skinned, thin brunette. Jacobs is an alpha male looking dude with a large penis, and well, has no charisma. There’s acoustic blues music that plays over the whole thing, and you don’t get to hear any of the audio. The camera is ok, but the overall process of the sex seems a bit slowed down, and well, it’s ok at best. The couple goes through the motions, multiple positions, lots of back and forth, but since you can’t hear the moans or the groans, it’s just slow motion sex, and it’s really not that entertaining, if you ask me.

Moving forward, we see a frat house set where Janine is trying to get with one of the guys, and she finally gets him. Janine and Erik Everhard start to make out on a couch, and then start to have sex. Another acoustic slow song starts, and we are treated to slow motion sex with these two. There’s multiple positions, mind you, and for the most part there’s a sexiness to it, as Janine is always hot, but it’s not as good because you can’t hear the sounds at all. You can’t hear her moaning, you can only see the movement, and it’s kind of boring.

Up next we see Sophia Santi playing with herself to some smooth jazz. She’s on a staircase, she’s brunette, has long hair, black pumps, and a thin frame. She’s good looking, she doesn’t watch the camera, and the jazz keeps playing through. She plays with herself and that’s it.

The movie moves along and we are taken to a scene where a busty blonde is doing a striptease to a country western tune, and she is slowly going forward with making Scott Nails watch. It’s not a great scene, and it’s just another slow motion artsy sequence that will no doubt lead to sex. Scott Nails and Brooke Haven start to have sex on a brown couch and it’s ok at best. The two are symbiotic in their sex, and it’s nice to see. Haven has large breasts, blonde hair, red lipstick, and is completely shaved. Nails is just there like a toy, and it’s not a terrible scene, but the slow motion and the song just ruins it for me. Again, you cannot hear what’s going on at all.

We move along and see Janine and Scott Nails next. An alternative country son is playing, and Janine is wearing a short black dress. Scott Nails and Janine start to make out in a bedroom, and then she starts to undress. The two slowly start to caress, before Janine gives him oral, and things start to progress swiftly. Nails doesn’t wear a condom for this scene, but again, you cannot hear the sounds at all, and the artsy camera angles and the music takeover. If you were expecting to see anything traditional, this is the wrong movie for you. Not even this ender has something worth while. The sex is fine, slow, and steady, and eventually Janine gets cummed on and that’s it.

I give “Mrs. Behavin” a 2 out of 5.

This may be one of the worst porno movies I’ve ever seen because it doesn’t have the sound of the women moaning, and it’s all artsy. I don’t mind artsy, but I didn’t expect this at all, and it is just not for me. Maybe someone else out there is going to love Janine but I can’t in this movie.

You can buy “Mrs. Behavin”, or stream it by clicking here, and see if it’s worth your time. It’s hardcore, it has Janine having sex without a condom, and it has an interracial duo at the beginning, and well it’s not a bad looking flick, just not for me.

Wife Switch 5 (2012) Review

Wife Switch Volume 5 (2012) Cover 

We are going modern for the latest review that we are going to talk about. Let’s get into our time machine and get to 2012. In 2012 the fifth release from the series “Wife Switch” was released. “Wife Switch Volume 5” came out in 2012 and it was distributed by Pink Visual and there was no director credited here. The movie stars Faith Leon, Roxy DeVille, Barrett Blade, Marcos Leon, Nina Hartley, Stephanie Swift, Sascha, Tommy Gunn, Baily Brooks, Ginger Blaze, Mike Butders, Derrick Pierce, Leigh Livingston, Mia Lelani, Ben English, Chris Johnson, Bella Lynn, Brandy Edwards, and Talon.

There’s not a whole lot to this movie, it’s a gonzo picture, although the first part is a minor interview that features a couple of guys that have cheated on their spouses, so they want to switch things up and reveal to them the truth.

The opening scene starts with Faith Leon, Roxy Deville, Barrett Blade, and Marcos Leon switching partners. The two women in this scene are thin, brunette, and have girl next door qualities to them. They both don’t have large breasts, and really do look like girls you’d see in college, a freshman and a senior for that matter. The four start to unrobe in what seems like an ordinary couch in someone’s home. There’s no condoms here, just nudity and shaved private areas. It’s a gonzo picture, so it gets into the sex fast. The camera work gets a little sloppy, there’s no music, but the lighting is great. If you’re a fan of gonzo pictures, then you’ll like the way this starts into the sex. Both women moan and scream with delight, including one section at the 18 minute mark where one guy plays with a woman’s clitoris while in reverse cowgirl, a move that she says is too much but he continues. I know from experience that women outside of porn don’t usually like that. The couples get into a money shot and that’s it. WE then get a simple interview about revealing cheating, etc. It’s terrible acting, mind you.

Moving along we are taken to a new couple, and this time it’s Stephanie Swift and Sascha, a European guy. Stephanie Swift is a milf at this point which is interesting, and looks great. Nina Hartley and Tommy Gun are the other couple and we get a brief interview to start. This too gets really into the sex within a few minutes. It starts with Nina Hartley and Stephanie Swift kissing, then Tommy Gun and Sascha getting blow jobs from the women, before they start to get into the sex. There was supposed to be a rule where the guys were supposed to wear condoms, at least according to the interview, but only one guy is wearing a condom. The two women moan a great deal, and the camera follows the action well enough. The sex lasts a while before we see a money shot with not much cum, and one guy doesn’t last nearly as long as the other. After the sex, we find out that Sascha wasn’t wearing a condom, and Stephanie Swift gets mad, while Hartley just looks on.

The next scene features a brunette and a redhead woman and both look older here. They are milfs for sure, with larger breasts then the previous women, and we start afresh. This time it’s Baily Brooks, Ginger Blaze, Derrick Pierce, and Mikey Butders starting to make out and getting unrobed. The two get right into the action, in a well lit hotel room on couches, and just start working through a few positions. No condoms here, and the women just change partners, and it’s what you’d expect. No music, just gonzo sex until there’s a cum shot with a few shots of cum here and there. It’s a gonzo porn, with little to no direction, just two couples having sex, and that’s it.

For the next scene we are taken to a mansion and we get setup in a hot tub. Here we find Leigh Livingston, Mia Lelani, Ben English, and Chris Johnson starting to make out then going into oral. The women are both different. Lelani is a tanned Asian looking woman, with brunette hair and very large breasts. Leigh Livingston has reddish brown, short hair and large natural breasts. The four people move from the hot tub to a bedroom and they start to get into the sex part of this scene. Again, no condoms, everyone is shaved, and they get into the traditional positions that you’d expect from couples. There’s no real passion here, just straight sex, without a lot of attitude, and really nothing too crazy to write about. I found Lelani to be quite sexy, and vocal, but Livingston didn’t seem to be that into things. Lelani seems to really enjoy the sex, and the guys did their job well enough, but without no music, and a random set, this seemed like a benign sexual romp. Towards the one hour and 41 minute mark, the doggy style sex with Livingston gets really good but the director focuses on Lelani instead, even though it seems like Livingston is having the better of the two experiences at this point. Ben English gets mad because Chris Johnson cums in Livingston and things get heated. I guess that’s the big deal in this movie, etc.

We get to the last scene of this movie and it stars Bella Lynn, Brandi Edwards, some random guy and a dude named Talon. The foursome start to have sex in the same bedroom as the other couples, and it starts with a blow job. Bella Lynn is a pale, skinny woman with enhanced breasts and black hair. Brandi Edwards has dirty blonde hair, is a bit older, and smaller breasts. They are both thin, and the guys are normal but aren’t very big, just shaved. The women get into the blow jobs a bit, but again, there’s no music, the set sucks, and the passion seems to be missing for the starting line of this movie. The couples have ok sex, and it seems to be fine, until the 2 hour and 8 minute mark when things get really exciting and they all start to work far faster, and harder, with the women screaming and wanting more action. At that point we see the talent really getting into the sex, and it’s interesting to see. The closing sequence tries to save the whole movie with speed, and it doesn’t work if you’ve been sitting through this whole thing. There’s a couple of money shots, and that’s it.

I give “Wife Switch 5” a 3 out of 5.

Yes, this is a gonzo movie, and it will get you there if you really like wife swapping stories. However, I didn’t really think it was a lot of fun. The women and men exchange well, but even a girl like Stephanie Swift seemed bored with the sex, and it was just not that great. It is ok, just not great. If you’re looking for a wife swapping movie, and you don’t want a lot of story, this works, but I didn’t get too excited by it, but that’s just me. It deserves a 3 and that’s about it.

You can purchase “Wife Switch 5” on DVD and get some extras, as well as stream it as well if you’d like. Just click here and check it out for your own personal review.

Island Fever 2 (2002) Review

Island Fever 2 (2002) DVD Cover

Today is a big day on Dirty Movie Reviews. This review will be our 100 review! That’s correct, this is number 100, and that means that we are doing something special. The special event has called us to review a movie that has Stormy Daniels in it. That’s correct, a movie that features the “it” girl right now, and that’s the president’s mistress, at least for one romp, and it features Stormy Daniels and others. The movie is called, “Island Fever 2” and it was released by Digital Playground, and was directed by Joone. This is a movie that only has a handful of actors in it, but it has an interesting locale, so why not review it for the number 100 review for this site? With that in mind, let’s take a look at the 2002 film “Island Fever 2”. The movie stars Tera Patrick, Erik Everhard, Devon, Barrett Blade, and Stormy Daniels. That’s it. Not a lot of people on this project, so let’s see how it all went down.

The movie starts with a softcore introduction of the actresses that are in this film. They are all on the beach, in the waves, and just in the wind. There’s soft, smooth jazz that plays as we see the women walking around, and looking at the camera, looking away, as the credit rolls. The director wants you to realize that they are in paradise, and you are drifting into the amazing worlds that only can be found in Hawaii, and other tropical destinations. On that note, the feature moves forward straight to the sex, and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing, I have to knock down a point for the use of sexy, jazz music. I hate smooth jazz, so that sucks up front.

The first scene starts, and it features Tera Patrick and Erik Everhard. The two start to kiss, and Everhard starts to caress Patrick’s nude body. The two look like Adam and Eve with the backdrop of a mountain side with green grass, and trees all around. The movie isn’t terrible to start, but the music takes over so that you can’t hear anything other than that. The camera work is good, going in and out of the scenario, letting you soak it all in. There’s a poetic push here, and it’s all quiet, you don’t hear the sounds of sex. Tera Patrick eventually gets down on her knees for a blow job and everything just slows down. The whole sex scene is done in near slow motion as you see an artistic side to how adult cinema can be made. If you’re looking for straight forward sex with moaning and the likes, you will not find it here. This is an erotic picture with a focus on art, and sex, not just the actual act. For that, it gets a few points. After oral, the two move into sex, and you don’t see when Everhard puts on a condom on, but he has one. The two go through several positions on the mountainside, eventually ending in stand up doggy, and then Everhard cumming on the back of Patrick. You hear nothing. You don’t hear the motions, you don’t hear the moaning, you just see the expressions, and some of the penetration, and then finally the finish, and that’s it. It’s like watching a silent film, but it has sex in it. Don’t get me wrong, this is sensual, artistic, and definitely an arthouse sex film, but you can’t hear what Patrick is saying, you can’t hear her moaning, and you can’t really get a feel for the sensuality that is on screen, as it is coupled with jazz music and that’s it. The scenery is great, but the sex? Well, it’s artsy sex, what else can I say about it? Those that are not familiar with Tera Patrick, will find that she’s quite attractive. She has an Asian look to her, tan skin, augmented breasts, and long dark hair.

We move forward to another scene, and the same smooth jazz starts. This time we see Devon nude. Devon is a thin, shaved, blonde haired woman with large breasts. She starts solo, playing for the camera, and then Barrett Blade shows up. Devon and Barrett Blade start their sex scene with a blow job that is slowed down for the camera. After she gives Blade oral, she sits on his face, and that’s where I start to notice a few problems with this scene. Yes, the two are having sex on what seems like a mountain side, with rocks and everything, but there’s obvious clipping and elements that look like a green screen! A closer examination shows off that this is done in post production, and they aren’t really on location in the same way that the first scene was. The amateur nature of some of the production work makes me laugh, as the two keep going forward with foreplay. The two start to have sex and go through a couple of positions but it doesn’t last too long before Blade has to cum, and he lets it all out in Devon’s face as per usual. She then blows him a little afterwards, and the music intensifies. This whole thing feels like it’s going in slow motion, and by the time it’s over, I’m glad that there’s something else to watch. There’s no condom to speak of here, mind you.

We see a sunset and we are taken to a desert location. Here we see Stormy Daniels enter the frame. She is nude and has a scarf that is blowing in the wind. Middle Eastern music starts and we see her in high heels and just nude. She’s tall, has dark blonde hair, long legs, augmented breasts and looks young here. She looks like a Playboy model, not a hardcore porn actress, that’s for certain. I’m impressed by her beauty here, and one cannot blame anyone that wants to be with her, she is framed in such a dynamic way here. Stormy Daniels is introduced to a nude Barrett Blade and she gets on her knees to blow him. The two get familiar fast. There’s a focus on sex here, of course, and this time the camera catches the condom outright. The two have sex in front of a green screen, and it’s hilariously bad. If this is not a green screen, I’ll gladly admit I’m wrong, but it looks really bad. Either way, the two have stand up sex, and it’s not sexy at all. I was expecting more out of this. You don’t hear the moaning or the movement’s yet again, you just hear the Middle Eastern sounds. It really takes away from the larger portrait of what this could be. At one point Blade pulls Stormy’s hair and even chokes her a little, and this is all fine sexual elements for a porno, but the lack of hearing, and the slow down of the camera really plays with what you’re trying to do if you’re trying to get off. If you’re watching for review, like I am, it can be creative, artsy, and interesting, but if this is not meant for review, then it gets boring with Blade going in and out in normal fashion, lacking passion and well, it’s just mechanical. After a while we get the money shot and it’s on Daniels’ chest and a little on her face, but she looks like she’s not into it at all. It’s lackluster, and really “forced” as the camera fades into something else.

The camera picks back up and we see different sequences of paradise, the clouds, and different set locations that are nothing short of beautiful. Then we are focused on Tera Patrick, and she’s nude. She does a little dance for the camera, then lays down and looks good for the camera and pictures etc. There’s nothing wrong with this, it’s sexy, it has an artsy quality to it, and it really paints Tera Patrick as a beautiful woman.

The camera fades and we get to another location, and this time it’s again on location without green screen. It features Tera Patrick and Erik Everhard and they are enjoying sex by a waterfall. Patrick is on her knees blowing him right away. This time around Everhard takes a lot more time to give Patrick head, and it is interesting to watch, but you cannot hear the sounds, so she moans and moves a bit, but there’s an instrumental sound that makes it a bit boring to watch. There’s a condom again, and it’s too tight for Everhard, which is odd to me, as it doesn’t roll up or anything during the sex. We go into reverse cowgirl to start things off and then several other positions, with an interesting waterfall backdrop, but honestly, there’s not a whole lot to this other than the two having sex with techno jazz music behind them. After some changes, Everhard cums on her chest, and that’s the end of this one.

We move onto the next focus and it’s Devon playing on a lava beach. She plays with her breasts, and she plays with the water, and there’s a soft instrumental sound behind her. This is just modeling at it’s finest, and it does a good job of making Devon look amazing, but honestly, that’s not really what I was expecting with this movie.

After Devon dances in the water and plays with herself a little, the camera fades and we are taken to another location and we see Tera Patrick playing in a lava rock beach. There’s more instrumental music, and this time we see Tera Patrick playing with herself in slow motion, all the while the director moves in and out of the scene, never being crass, and never going too deep into what is going on.

The camera fades and returns, and there’s Erik Everhard again. This time again, he has sex with Tera Patrick, this time on a beach. This is mechanical sex yet again, only this time the focus isn’t on foreplay, but rather a different position and new music. It’s artistic, it has merit, it’s soft, it’s nearly not X-rated, except from time to time you see the insertion, but it’s mostly a vanity project that shows off the beauty of the location mixed with the art of sex, and it’s well, just sex. There’s no chemistry to it at all, and you can tell that Patrick isn’t even wet here. The finish line arrives with Patrick blowing Everhard until he cums in her hand and that’s it. The end of that scene.

The final scene in this movie features Devon and Barrett Blade. They are at the location that started the movie, and everything yet again is done with the same style as the other parts. There’s a focus on the oral here, with artistic musical scores, movement in and out with the camera, and not a bad bit of focus. There’s a lot going on here with the backgrounds, and the location, but that’s juxtaposed with the sex that is going on. Devon is a beautiful girl, and yet Blade doesn’t seem to be that intrigued by what’s going on. There’s no condom here, and the two get into the sex which you can’t hear again, and it’s not terrible, but it’s also not what you’d expect from a porno movie. The two go at it for a while, change positions, and eventually Blade cums on Devon’s backside, and that’s a wrap for this movie.

I give “Island Fever 2” a 3 out of 5.

Visually speaking, “Island Fever 2” is beautiful. It has art, it has style, but strip away some of the backgrounds, and you have a gonzo movie that doesn’t have sounds of sex. I like the sound of sex, not just watching people have it. The music is not my taste, the women are beautiful, but the sex is silent, and slowed down for art’s sake. If you like that, then you will like this movie, otherwise you’ll ask yourself what you’re watching, and why.

You can purchase “Island Fever 2” by clicking here, and see for yourself what all the hype about Stormy Daniels is, as well as Tera Patrick and Devon.

You’ve Got A Mother Thing Cumming 3 (2009) Review

You've Got A Mother Thing Cumming 3 (2009) Cover

Today we are going to go modern. I don’t do a lot of modern reviews, mainly because the price tag on a lot of the movies are expensive, and therefore, I don’t always have the funds to check them out. However, there are times when I do get some on discount, and that’s where this one comes through. The movie we are going to be checking out today is a bit modern, and it comes from 2009. It’s the third movie in a line of movies that feature milfs. The movie is directed by Mike Quasar and is distributed by Zero Tolerance. The movie stars Kylie Ireland, Alex Gonz, Stephanie Swift, Alan Stafford, Lola, Chris Johnson, Tina Tyler, David Perry, Darryl Hanah, and Christian XXX. The main reason that I wanted to see this one was because Stephanie Swift is in it, and I’ve been a fan of hers for a while. If you are a fan, then you may like this later release from her career as she is now retired and last I heard was in Las Vegas living a normal life without the lights and glimmer of pornography. Either way, let’s discuss the movie known as “You’ve Got A Mother Thing Cumming 3”. This is a gonzo release, and you know that I hate gonzo movies, but every now and again I have to review one because that’s the nature of the business.

The movie starts with a focus on Stephanie Swift, and she is looking great for her age. She’s a bit older in this movie and yet she still looks as beautiful as ever, with her thin frame, long black hair, and nicely done makeup. She’s a crush that looks amazing, and just lovely, and I don’t know why, but I’d love to interview her.

After the attention is shown on her, she says she is ready to go, and in comes Alan Stafford. Alan and Stephanie Swift start to kiss and make out heavily, taking off their clothes. There’s a slow pace here, and the two get to know each other through kissing first, then head to oral. Stephanie Swift has done a lot of oral scenes by the time you get to this one, and here she’s a bit more sensual than I’ve seen in her other movies, although it’s still great to see her in this light. The set is a warehouse setting, and you can tell that it’s a built porno set with a fake backdrop and all. Alan Stafford is shaved, and so you see the whole thing in light of the high definition camera. He’s built too, and may be a gay performer in another time frame cause he has that type of build. Swift goes all in for her blow job, and then the tables turn and Alan gives her head. There’s no music to this scene, mind you, it’s pure sex. After some oral, the two get familiar on a couch, and they just go forward with no condom, and just sex. Swift moans a great deal, and Alan gets the progress done with lots of rhythm. After several positions on a white couch, Alan can’t hold it in any longer and immediately goes from doggy style to the money shot where he cums on Swift’s face, and that’s that. An adequate scene, with minimal chemistry, and strong sexual essence. It’s a very mechanical looking scene with little to no sweat, and Swift looking like she doesn’t want to be there a few times. If you’re a fan of Swift, you’ll appreciate her body, and work here, but it’s not her best one.

The next scene starts with Kylie Ireland dancing and stripping. At this point in her career, Kylie Ireland is a milf, has a larger frame than her previous rolls, has an arm tattoo, red hair, and looks like your average soccer mom in many ways. Don’t let that stop you, as she is quite sexy here, and in this scene, she meets up with Alex Gonz in a set that is made up like a massage studio. Kylie Ireland gets started with a fast paced blow job to set things in motion, and Alex Gonz immediately starts to get hard and then starts to kiss Ireland a great deal. He’s a bit rough with her, slapping her breasts and leaving marks, and she keeps asking for more. Her nipples and navel are pierced, and she has a sense of sexiness to the whole scene’s start. The two start to engage in sex with doggy style, with Ireland moans a great deal while spouting out lines of dialogue. She seems to enjoy this, and Gonz has some initial chemistry with her, as she gets wet. The two engage in some harder sex moves, and eventually she asks for anal, and he gets a bit rough at her request. This leads to anal after a few minutes, and there’s once again no condom. They go through several positions of sex, and they stay in one area, and as the scene continues the two get more and more involved in the sex, and it’s really a standout scene. Gonz really has chemistry with Ireland and it shows, and after the initial work he cums in her mouth and she licks and spits it out a little, making this one hell of a scene. There’s no music, good lighting, and a lot of chemistry.

The scene ends and we are immediately thrown into another one. This one features a woman named Darryl Hanah and Christian XXX. Darryl Hanah is a tall, thin, blonde haired woman. She looks like an upper class escort, and has long arms, long legs, and a thin frame. The scene starts with Hannah pleasuring herself with a vibrator before Christian shows up. Christian XXX comes into the picture and Darryl Hanah continues with her vibrator and then starts to give him a blow job. This is a very sterile, mechanical sex scene with the two not really having a lot of chemistry, she doesn’t get that wet, and while the performances are adequate, it’s mechanical until the hour and 15 minute mark when Hannah really starts to get into it. Maybe it’s just a slow starting point, I don’t know. After a while she gets back up to suck and things progress a little more. She keeps looking at the camera, which throws me off, but she has beautiful eyes, which is nice to look at. Christian XXX isn’t huge, mind you, although he’s trimmed, he’s not huge, and Hannah doesn’t make it any bigger or look that great as she goes through the sex. She very much goes through it like an escort, rushed, and through the positions as you would expect, in a one hour session. Not a great scene. The set is a red couch, in a warehouse somewhere, or a house, and there’s no music. It’s a lackluster scene, but it works if you’re in a bind.

The next scene we get into is fast, and it features a woman named Tina Tyler. She has short black hair, and large breasts. She comes into the scene wearing shorts and a pink bra. She’s got pale white skin, and looks like a fourth grade teacher that hasn’t gotten any in a long time. In comes David Perry, and immediately the two start to get to know each other better. Tina Tyler blows David Perry, and instead of music, we just pure sex. Tina Tyler is not shaved at all, so if you like pubic hair, you get a nice look here. The sex gets better as the minutes progress, and heading into the 1 hour and 40 minute mark it reaches a peak, with Tyler really moaning and getting wet, nearly cumming many times, if not cumming all over Perry. She keeps things moving and asks for David to get on top of her, then doggy, and then the two just go through the motions of sex, like if they were lovers for some time. Although there is one line where it seems like she’s an escort, but I will overlook that one. You can hear far noises in doggy, so if you’re a fan of queef sounds, then you’ll like this one as it sounds a great deal through the process of the latter part of the sequence. After a great deal of movement, Perry can’t hold it together and cums on Tyler and that’s that. It’s not a terrible sequence mind you, but it’s definitely a milf scene, that’s the point. No music, good lighting, and Tyler’s pale skin isn’t half bad, and she looks good for her age, and well, I’d probably enjoy it as much as David Perry did here.

Next up we are taken to an interview and striptease from Lola. She’s a tanned, tall brunette with an arm tattoo, pink underwear, and that milf look you’d expect from her. She claims that she likes the empowering nature of being with younger men, and for this scene she ends up with Chris Johnson.

Chris Johnson and Lola start to make out, and the two get friendly together in this final scene for this movie. Again there is no music, and we are taken directly to the sex after the interview. Lola is tanned, and Chris Johnson is thin, tatted, and gets into the action fast. He gets blown, gives oral to Lola and the two hit it off on a red couch in another bedroom warehouse set. The two exchange different positions, there’s no music, just good lighting and frequent movements into the sex. There’s a bit of momentum overall and it’s not half bad to look at, but it’s just not that sexy to me. Lola isn’t really my type, and after watching the previous scene, this just seems a lot more mechanical, and well it kind of is. It ends well enough, and the movie finishes with the credits and that’s it.

I give “You’ve Got A Mother Thing Cumming 3” a 2 out of 5.

As far as modern gonzo movies are concerned, you really must like the players involved. Yes, there are a few good scenes, but overall, I only liked 2 out of the whole thing, and honestly, I would only go back and see one of them. If you really like Kylie Ireland or Stephanie Swift, you’ll appreciate their scenes, other than that, it’s a boring one to watch all the way through, and of course, that’s not what they intended with this release anyway.

You can actually stream, buy, and download “You’ve Got A Mother Thing Cumming 3” by clicking here, and see what you think about this one, it wasn’t my thing, but you may love it.