Pickup Lines 2 (1995) Review

Pickup Lines #2 (1995) DVD Cover 

We are going back in time again, but this time it’s not too far away from our previous route. This time around we are going to be moving towards a series that I’ve covered in the past, and honestly don’t really care for, and that’s something that I’ve stated many times on this blog. I am not a fan of gonzo productions, and one of the major gonzo features that kept getting released was that of the Pickup Lines series. This option from 1995 was directed by Tom Stone and distributed by Odyssey, and no doubt hit a lot of rental stores and you may have even bought it. I picked this up only because there were scenes that I had to check out with Lori Michaels and Jill Kelly. So let’s focus on this release from 1995, as it is called, “Pickup Lines 2”. The stars of this movie include Demi Fairbanks, Peter North, Jill Kelly, Vince Vouyer, Alex Dane, Nici Sterling, Wilde Oscar, Goldie Star, Kim Kitaine, Ceran Morris, Felecia, Lori Michaels, Sean Rider, Ed Powers, Taboo, and Nicole Jefferson.

If you know what a gonzo movie is, then you know what to expect from the story line of this series of releases. If you’re not familiar with that term, then you should know that this is something that doesn’t necessarily have a story to it, but rather just a bunch of random scenes that are thrown together for the purpose of making a porno release. A lot of today’s web series and more often work within the confines of gonzo, which is not my favorite genre, but I recognize is as a resource for pornographic involvement, which is something that is going to be part of the larger scope of this blog, eventually. I can’t only stick to story lines, as I’ll run out sooner than later, so here’s some more gonzo for the people that want pure sexual gratification.

This was the first introduction to Lori Michaels, which got a different credit. The music was produced by Dr. Shears, it was edited by Miles Long, and it is the second in a series of probably hundreds of gonzo pictures.

The movie starts after the credits and we see random sequences from the porno that is to come. You see a few slow motion elements and you see what you are going to be detailing with the sex, and it’s not bad. The music is calm, then you are interspliced with B-footage and you really get a feel for what is to come next.

The movie starts in a vacation destination with Demi Fairbanks and Peter North. They are simply on vacation and walking around before they get to a roof top near a beach house and then start to make out. The start here has Peter North giving oral to Demi Fairbanks, and away we go within the first 10 minutes there’s oral. Demi Fairbanks is an attractive woman with large breasts, a tan, medium length hair, a brunette and has minimal sounds to start. The two are outdoors on a balcony overlooking the beach. After some oral from North, Fairbanks gets on her knees while some soft music plays. The two are in swimsuits then nude, and the music is boring. The camera cuts in, but the visual design is interrupted by the shadows and lack of secure elements from the sun. The two go through the motions of sex, and then go into the house. There they get on the bed and start to work out some stress with several positions. The positions are standard, and Peter North doesn’t wear a condom. Demi Fairbanks barely makes any noise, and the two go at it for a good amount of time before North eventually just strokes it until he cums on her face. It’s a lackluster scene with little to no chemistry between the two. When North cums, Demi Fairbanks looks away and puts her hand up noticeably not into this at all, and really takes away from the scene.

There is a blooper here! At one point Demi Fairbanks around the 17 minute mark tries to cover her face and even tries to avoid blowing North again, and you see the director’s hand from outside of the frame come into the frame and moves her hand! They didn’t edit this out!

After the sex the two go out onto the balcony and then start to talk to Jill Kelly and Vince Vouyer, whom are their neighbors. We then fade to black and then get to the interior of the next apartment.

In the apartment Vince Vouyer and Jill Kelly are in a bath tub, nude, and Kelly starts to blow Vince for the start. Soft music starts, and we get to the next sex scene. This is early Jill Kelly, before she had breast implants, my favorite period of her career, and if you’re a fan, then you’ll know her blonde hair, and tan lines well. Vouyer doesn’t even get hard to start, his penis flops a bit which is a sign that he was using a penis pump, or isn’t into the sex scene, until Kelly really gets to work with oral. If you’re a fan of Jill Kelly, then you will like this scene as it’s in her prime for me. Vouyer and Kelly have sex in the bathroom, and there’s no condom, she’s young, and looks very “California” overall. Vouyer stays hard throughout and the two eventually et to the bedroom and get it on. It’s obvious that Vouyer loses his erection at one point and has to get it back, before he starts to hump Kelly. The two move to the bedroom and go through a few positions and it’s ok at best, nothing crazy. Over time we end up seeing Vouyer cum on Kelly’s face and that’s the end.

After the scene we are taken to the streets where we see a couple of women talking. They are just talking and it appears to be Venice or the San Fernando Valley somewhere. One of the ladies invites the other and they take a drive somewhere. They drive to a house on the hills and they start to drink some wine together. This is a prelude to the sex scene that is next.

Alex Dane, Nici Sterling and Wilde Oscar all get undressed poolside at a mansion and start to really get into the sex. The women are two brunettes, one that is European with an accent, and the other that is Caucasian with a tan. They both look like they are in their late 20s or even early 30s, thin, and medium sized breasts. There is a man involved here and he is balding, and has an average sized penis. They are all outdoors, soft music starts and we get oral introduced. Both women are trimmed here, and the dude isn’t shaved completely but has some shaved. WE see the trio start to work through a threesome, and it’s not too bad. The trio move to the bedroom and they continue their sex romp, and around the midway point they end up having anal sex. The anal is interesting, as it’s with one of the ladies that has breast implants and they do it reverse cowgirl. Other than that, it is just a mediocre sex romp with one of the girls obviously confused as to what to do during the sex, and just watches, looking somewhat bored. The dude loses his erection at the 44 minute mark, and the two women try to get him back up, and it seems like a struggle until he starts pulling hard and eventually cums. This is an awkward sex scene with little to no passion, and really drives down the value of the release if you ask me.

We move from the city to the farm. That’s where we see two blondes hanging out. They are platinum blondes, and one has massive fake breasts, the others are natural, and they look very much different. They are thing, slightly pail, and have your average farmer’s red plaid with jean shorts. One of them is way older, and the other is not. The two are out by some stables and they start to kiss a bit and undress a little. After a bit a guy shows up and tells them to come through and have sex.

We see Ceran Morris, Kim Kitaine, and Goldie Star in this scene having sex. It ends up going fast, and immediately goes into doggy style, with one of the girls moaning quite loudly upon insertion, but that’s it. There’s minimal sounds here, just the sex element, with a little bit of moaning as the three start to work through oral, and doggy style sex. Again, no condom here, and honestly Morris loses his erection at one point and the camera slows down and just lets him stand there while the women have sex, and look at the director. At one point the director is in the fame, and it’s funny to see, but after some time, we see Morris get back up and then cums all over the women. This is a lackluster, terrible sex scene that is a waste of talent.

Up next we see a couple of women in the back of a boat. They are hanging out and then stop at shore while a dude watches on. The women start to kiss, and we are taken to the next sex scene.

In the next sex scene we see Felicia and Lori Michaels start to have sex, going forward with oral and fingers first. These two girls have that “girl next door” quality, and Lori Michaels looks like a milf that I know, while Felecia is young, ethnic, thin, and has long hair. She’s only done lesbian scenes with one sole exception from what I know, and Lori Michaels is premiered here for the first time. The sex is ok at best, as they go outdoors, you can see that Michaels is uncomfortable with it, and Felicia tries to go through the motions with some slight moaning overall. The two don’t have a lot of chemistry, and while it’s a serviceable scene with two attractive ladies, there’s something missing, especially from Michaels.

This scene kind of takes a dip and we see Lori Michaels start to blow Sean Rider, the driver of the boat. She blows him and then the camera switches and we go to the bedroom where we continue moving forward with the two. There’s a bit of oral from Sean Rider here and it’s not that good, but then we go back to oral with Lori Michaels giving him head. It’s soft, sensual, and she really does well with this. A condom is placed for the scene, and we start to get into the sex, which is basic, mechanical, and lackluster. Lori Michaels is an attractive woman, but it doesn’t look like she’s enjoying the sex too much, while Sean Rider just goes through the motions of in and out as you would expect. After a few position changes and random kissing, and going through the motions of casual sex, Rider takes the condom off at one point and Lori blows him for the finish. It’s not a great one it’s kind of boring.

After the hard cut we are taken to a living room where we see Vince Vouyer and Peter North jacking off and not hard at all! I kid you not, this is a real thing that is happening in this movie. The two stop pulling rope and then approach two women that are kissing, and it’s Demi Fairbanks and Jill Kelly. This is where the duo turn into a foursome, and we get some real sex, instead of just trying to pull on some play-doh for the camera. There’s some calm music that starts, and we see the guys finally get hard and start working with the women, going into them with sex, and oral. Demi Fairbanks is not interested at times, as she receives oral and Peter North has to tell her that she’s supposed to suck him off, but isn’t doing that. Meanwhile, Vince Vouyer goes forward with Jill Kelly, all of this with no condom mind you. Jill Kelly moans the most here and it’s an interesting little sequence overall, and if you’re a fan of hers, she saves the whole scene, and really has true orgasms at several points. Demi Fairbanks is there, but isn’t really there and it looks like she just goes through the motions, and well it’s a bit tired overall. Overall, the best part of this is Jill Kelly getting off, the rest is just boring to me. At one point the dudes change partners, and you see things go forward there, which is an interesting pairing with Peter North and Jill Kelly being the most attractive of options at one point, but it’s limited in scope and by the time you really get into the scene, it’s time to cum and that’s that. Perhaps one of the laziest of scenes? I don’t know. The direction, the bedroom, the lighting, and editing all work against this one, and only Jill Kelly really saves this one for me. After some mediocre sex, Peter North shoots a blast that hits both women and that’s the end. The detriment here is Demi Fairbanks performance, which is abysmal, while Jill Kelly tries to save it, it’s not enough, I can’t believe how terrible this is. I wish I knew why the performance was so bad.

Up next we see the final portion of this movie and it shows Ed Powers showing up to a random house. He is going to be doing a scene and interview as per usual, and it features two women. This time around he introduces Nicole Jefferson and Taboo. Both women are young, thin, and ethnic. Both women are African American. We start with an interview in the bedroom before Ed Powers and the women start to kiss.

Ed Powers starts to remove his clothes alongside Nicole Jefferson and Taboo. Powers doesn’t have a huge penis, mind you, and he looks like a dork, but he has bedded some amazing women, and well, props for him for doing that. This one features two attractive ladies, and the trio go through some sexual positions and well, it’s ok at best. The oral is good, but the sex is laughable, with Powers still wearing his socks, and the women letting him plow them. There’s a bit of chemistry here, and some standard moaning, but nothing too crazy, as the camera seems to stick to one or two areas overall. Powers has sex with both women, and eventually finishes on their faces, and that’s it. A terrible ending, with a lackluster scenario, with two attractive women and one fugly dude. Good for Powers, good for him.

I give “Pick Up Lines 2” a 1 out of 5.

The only saving grace to this movie is the first Jill Kelly scene. Other than that, this is a lackluster gonzo movie, with a lot of downside. The camera work is bad, the editing is rough, there’s a blooper in the movie, and the music is just awful. Overall, this is not a great movie at all, and I don’t recommend it. Unless you are looking to buy the full series as a collector, in which case, have at it. Lori Michaels is still hot, Jill Kelly is hot, but man, you have a lot of wasted space in the other scenes.

Pickup Lines 3 (1996) Review

Pickup Lines 3 (1996) Poster

We are staying in the 1990s for a gonzo production because it is next in our line up of movies to review. This time around we are going to be looking at a movie that was directed by Tom Stone, and features a lot of performers doing what you would expect from a porno. The distributer here is Odyssey, and the studio was Silverstone. The stars of this movie include Marine Cartier, Peter North, Lana Sands, Steve Drake, Demi Fairbanks, Jill Kelly, Vince Vouyer, Tony Martino, Michael J. Cox, Sean Rider, Lori Michaels, Tracy Love, and Ed Powers. While I don’t like gonzo porno movies, it’s still part of the industry, so we’ll have to review them sometime. These are established stars and we are venturing to 1996 for the movie, “Pickup Lines 3”.

The opening says that this is an Ed Powers presentation. Ed Powers is like a gate keeper for porno, and he was able to get on screen with a lot of women before they became huge stars. He’s a skinny guy with facial hair, a pony tail, and just a hairy body. This movie starts with him talking to the camera. He says that we are about to watch the third installment from the series, and he says that he will be in the bed with women. After we hear from Ed Powers we get into the credits and it shows all of the actors names that are in this movie alongside some “Myst” type of music.

The opening scene features a couple of girls on a boat, and some decent cinematography for the time. We see a guy jet skiing, and I can’t make out who it is, but he falls into the water. From there we are taken to a bathroom that is quite large. It shows Peter North showering. A woman shows up and it’s Marine Cartier, and she disrobes and joins him. Some jazzy music starts and the two stand in the shower together, and it’s not bad. Marine Cartier is a brunette with a fit body, and bikini tan line. She has a thin frame, small breasts, and a toned overall look, with a cute face.

Marin Cartier and Peter North start to make out in the shower, and we begin the sex. This is a very unique shower, and it’s very large. The two make out like they are old lovers, and it’s actually not a bad starting point. They seem to be very interested in one another, and for once, I was starting to get distracted a little. After some making out, we see Peter North giving oral to Cartier, before turning things around and getting on her knees for oral. She has a small mouth, and it shows, making North look huge because of it. The music is louder than the moaning here, but it’s still sensual. Cartier has a landing strip, and after some bathroom foreplay, the two move to the bedroom, and they start to engage in sex, with a condom. There isn’t much to this, there’s barely any switching of positions. The music is louder than the sounds of Cartier, and while North does well here, you can barely here Cartier moaning, which she is certainly doing. After some time in doggy style, Cartier catches a Peter North facial and that ends this scene. The facial is ok, and it’s actually a little boring. Not the best facial, Marin Cartier spits it all out and looks disturbed in receiving, even though she licks a little after the fact.

The music continues, but the scene ends. We are taken outdoors where Steve Drake and Lana Sands are enjoying a boat ride. The two enjoy the sun, until they stop to kiss and start the next sequence.

Steve Drake and Lana Sands start to kiss, and Sands starts to suck on Drake’s finger to signal the start of sex. Lana Sands is a skinny Asian looking woman, with small breasts, slightly shaved pubic region, and a look like she’s from Thailand of the Philippines. Steve Drake is a mainstay in porn, and at this point has been in the business for a long time. The sex is simple, starting with fingering, oral, and the music that is just looping at this point. You can kind of hear moaning, but it’s muted by the sounds of the music, which is a bad move if you ask me. We get oral from both partners here, and the camera doesn’t shy away from the sex. There’s no condom in this one, and while the scene is adequate, it’s lacking in passion, and sound. You don’t hear Sands very much, and you see Drake hasn’t shaved at all, so he looks like your average joe. The sex is fine, but not that great, and after a few positions, Drake delivers a facial and that’s it. This is a substandard sex scene compared to the opener, that’s for sure.

We move to another scene and it’s Peter North and his girlfriend at a random house. They invite Steve Drake and Lana Sands to come in and watch a porno. The television shows a couple of women outdoors, with the sunlight directly on them, and they are simply kissing.

The next sex scene features Demi Fairbanks, Jill Kelly, and Vince Vouyer. The music again keeps going, and it’s a jazzy beat with bongos, and an island motif. Jill Kelly of course is a tanned, large breasted blonde that is a staple in 1990s porno. Demi Faribanks is a brunette with a landing strip, tanned body, curves, and large breasts. Vince Vouyer doesn’t immediately enter the scene, he waits for things to work through with the women. The women go with oral to start, while Fairbanks wears sunglasses and has wet, short hair. Vince Vouyer starts with giving the women oral, one by one, then he gets the women to blow him, and they are still outdoors. Vouyer brings a truck into the picture so they go into the back of it, and start to work through the sex. No condom here, and just straight sex with a couple of positions, a little bit of moaning, and then the money shot which lands on both Fairbanks and Kelly. This is not the best Jill Kelly scene, mind you, even though she looks great here. Both Fairbanks and Kelly look uninterested at times, and Vouyer just is in work mode, and well, good for him, that lucky devil.

Up next we are taken to a dock that looks like Marina Del Rey. There a young woman talks to a random dude about his boat and he invites her to his place. She obliges, and we are taken to a condo or apartment near Marina Del Rey.

The two start to makeout, and get to a bedroom, a set that looks like your average 1990s apartment. Frankie Layne and Tony Martino are the two actors here, and they both are tanned, and hard bodies. Frankie Layne is an older blonde, and it shows, with a thin frame, and small breasts. Tony Martino is a tanned dude with nothing that makes him special except getting it up when it matters. Layne’s rib cage shows here, she’s that thin, and while this scene isn’t terrible, the music takes you away from it all. The sex is normal to say the least, nothing too crazy, a few positions here and there, some ok lighting, but a lack of budget plagues this one. The music again drowns out the moans that you’re going to hear from Layne, and while the two have a little chemistry you can tell that Martino is in “work mode” and so the two just don’t gel that well. After a while with normal sex, there is a point where you get anal. A closeup reveals no condom, and a landing strip, with Layne taking it all in from Martino. After some anal, we go in for the money shot, and Martino lands cum on Layne’s face, and the music finally stops. The soundtrack is very annoying for this movie, and I’d rather hear the moaning to be honest.

After the scene is over we see a woman cleaning a pool. She walks over to a couple of guys waiting for her, and they start making out. This scene features Casey, Michael J. Cox, and Sean Rider. Casey is a very young girl here, with brunette hair, and an average body. The two guys are nothing special, and the lighting is miserable here. It’s an outdoor scene and it starts with a great deal of kissing. Casey looks uncomfortable, and I wouldn’t be surprised if this is one of her first porno scenes. The two guys know what they are doing, and try to go slow here, with the music coming through quietly and taking over the cinemascope of the scene. Casey gets on her knees and starts giving oral, and we still have this awful music that is just like listening to wind chimes. Casey keeps looking at the camera, you don’t hear her moan, she is just a vessel at this point. It’s this type of porno (gonzo) that turns people into meat, and well, it’s just there, this is just a sex scene. Both guys look bored, Casey is doing her thing, but the guys are bored and it’s hilarious to see. There is no passion here, there’s no double penetration, and the scene ends with the guys throwing Casey into a pool. That’s it. What a terrible sequence.

Up next we see Lori Michaels in a convertible. It’s an expensive one too. She pulls over to pick up a hitchhiker, and it’s Vince Vouyer. She asks if Vince has a big penis, and then invites him to get into the car. She then lets him drive the car, and that’s it. We go back to her place, and the two start to make out.

This next sex scene features one of my favorite actresses, Lori Michaels. Lori Michaels starts to blow Vince Vouyer and the music here takes over, again making it a crappy scene, but with Lori Michaels, I’m all in. Lori Michaels is a thin, older looking brunette, and reminds me of someone I know. She has small hands, and a small mouth, and she looks passionately at Vince Vouyer as she takes it all in. There’s a bit of passion here, and something that is missing from the rest of the scenes. The set here is a random bedroom, with a red comforter, white walls, and nothing special to it. The two get on a bed and start having sex. Vince Vouyer puts on a condom, but through the sequence he holds his penis hard, and it looks as though he’s used a penis pump and wants to maintain his erection here. I’m not sure what’s going on, and at one point it looks like Lori wants him to go in deeper. She keeps checking to see if his condom is on, which is an odd thing to see, and while she does relax a little, the sex is normal, and nothing to really write home about. The two go through multiple positions, and eventually Vouyer can’t hold it in so he slips out and cums on Lori Michael’s face, and that’s the end. She blows him at the end and lets him cum, and then just takes it all in. Lori Michaels is one of my all time favorite porno actresses, so while this scene lacks a little gusto, it’s still worth watching, at least for me, and well I liked it.

After this scene is over, we are taken back to the Peter North apartment, and we see the women getting hot. They want to have sex, and well, the women exchange partners from earlier.

On a red comforter, we see Lana Sands, Marine Cartier, Peter North, and Steve Drake start to make out for a four way sex scene. The scene starts with the men giving oral to the women, and we hear a soundtrack of techno music start. This time it’s a little more quiet than the other scenes, and we get up close and personal with the oral. The lighting here is great, and the women are hot. Lana Sands giving Peter North a blow job is a premier element of this scene, and definitely a standout amidst this one. Marine Cartier is beautiful here, and is in a nice dress, and while I’m not a big fan of Steve Drake, she makes this one look great. There are no condoms here, and the majority of the sex is taken to a backseat because the director focuses on a wider lens. There’s a lot of oral, here, and not nearly as much asex, although there’s some insertion here and there. Cartier looks bored at one point, and while her and Sands create a good chemistry, the guys seem confused as to what they are doing at times. After some back and forth, position and partner changes, we get a money shot, and that’s it. Kind of a lackluster scene. The best part is definitely the starting point where Lana Sands is blowing Peter North, and she does well throughout, blowing him at the 1 hour 58 minute mark again and showing off her skills. It looks like Drake gets the money shot here, and while it’s adequate, it’s not as good as what Peter North can do, and well, that’s fine. This scene is not great, and the music once again muted the moaning. Peter North eventually gets a turn for the money shot, but the director doesn’t seem to show him that much, and he says, “Steve, I got your wife in the eye”.

The scene ends, and we are taken to a leopard print comforter. It’s here that Tracy Love is in a small sweater, and is talking to Ed Powers. She has no underwear, and Powers talks to her, interviewing her for this. Thracy Love is a cute girl, she has chubby cheeks, big red lips, colorful eyes, dirty blonde hair, and a thin frame with medium size breasts. She’s not that hot, honestly, but she must be new here.

After the initial interview with Ed Powers, Tracy Love starts to massage Powers. Ed Powers and Tracy Love engage in a little oral before starting to get into the sex. After the oral, Ed Powers gets into doggy without a condom. He’s not a huge guy, and he’s quite hairy. Tracy Powers is cute, and takes Powers deep. This scene has her moaning louder than the music, which is always interesting to hear, and it’s not a bad scene if you like gonzo, and amateur production. This stands out, as Powers at one point sticks 3 fingers in Love’s anus then goes for anal. During anal, Love really starts to moan, and while this is a dirty sex scene, it is true to life what goes on in the many different bedrooms of America and around the world. This is kind of like the bottom run of porno mind you, not really offensive, but not sexy at all. Two people that are not sexy having sex, and probably having more fun than you are. After a great deal of anal, Powers cums, and that’s the end. Love is a bit disturbed, and doesn’t seem to be having that much fun, looking at the camera, and trying to play up the ending, and that’s it. Powers is a lucky son of a gun, that’s for sure.

The scene ends and that’s it. Tracy Love really wants to be a part of the porn world, and isn’t satisfied here. You can tell. She’s attractive at the end, but overall, she’s just another actress that I’m sure will be forgotten.

I give “Pick Up Lines 3” a 2 out of 5.

Despite my appreciation for Lori Michaels, there’s nothing that can save me from giving this a higher rating. The music was too loud, the moaning wasn’t loud enough, and there was just something lacking in the movie. I liked it enough, and the opening and ending scene really got my attention, so for that, it gets a 2 out of 5. I do like the collective actors in this one, but unless you’re collecting the Pickup Lines series, I’m not sure that you’re going to want to buy this one. Maybe stream it.

You can stream, download, and buy "Pick Up Lines 3" by clicking here, and well, help the site out.