Daydreams Nightdreams (1997) Review

 

And we are back, today we are looking into a 1997 movie that features director Bud Lee working for VCA studios, and filming some of the top names in the 1990s. “Daydreams Nightdreams” stars a good cast overall. The cast of this adult feature includes Kylie Ireland, Asia Carrera, Randy West, Missy, Mickey G. , Alex Sanders, Shayla LaVeaux, Mia Ciccero, Steve Drake, and Jill Kelly. 

The movie starts in an office, with a good amount of set design. We are in an office and our stars are working around a law office, with nothing major going on. We just look into paralegal stuff, and random notes that suggest that we are in a law office. This plot driven movie is simple enough to start with, nothing too sexual goes on, and we are treated to the cast “acting” somewhat. The camera and lighting are good, and the set design is adequate, giving you that feeling that you’re in a larger studio than just the average gonzo picture. You can see that this is a set, and not a fully occupied office, as there are moments when you can see the grip, and others in the background. We are then proven that this is a porno as things get into the scenes.

Midway through the movie a magician shows up, and he has magical powers to give our heroine a way to go into the dream world. That’s right, from an office to a dream world scenario of magic, we get an interesting twist. If you’re one to look for storyline, there’s some here for you.  

Scene 1. Kylie Ireland, Sean Rider

A file is missing, our office worker interrupts Sean Rider and Kylie Ireland. Ireland looks a lot like Jenna Jameson in her youth, so that’s something to take into consideration. She has large enhanced breasts, blonde hair, anSd that youthful look you expect from porno actresses in the 1997 era. The music starts and we go straight into cunnilingus with Sean Rider taking the helm with Ireland. The office set here is fine, the two go through a few positions, nothing crazy, and eventually Rider finishes on Ireland’s behind. If you’re a fan of Ireland, you’ll like her work here, and Rider is a clean cut dude with a strong focus, so he gets through the scene with gusto. 

Scene 2. Asia Carrera, Randy West

The movie shifts directly into the next sex scene, so don’t worry about the plot any longer. We immediately get Randy West and Asia Carrera in another sex scene. This one focuses a lot on Asia and West oral, more than anything else. If you’re a fan of oral, then you’ll like how this goes. There’s a fast transition into the sex, and West and Asia don’t do it for very long, and West is apro as usual, no condom, straight forward sex with Asia Carrera. The two go from office wall, to office desk, to black couch and several positions. This is not a terrible scene, and Carrera really works over West good, and eventually gets the finish with a hand job, and that’s that. 

Scene 3. Missy, Mickey G.

The story takes a back seat now as we get into our next scene of sex. Missy is a nice blonde with fake breasts, and Mickey G is a veteran of the porno world. The two go straight into oral, and then fingering, before going at it on a couch. The camera cuts in close and you get a normal methodology here. Doggy into other options, with some hair pulling to boot. Mickey G is a pro here, and Missy moans a great deal as she goes through the positions, After a while we get to see a little anal action, and then the finishing touch from Mickey G after a little bit of play. There’s a hard cut to the end, and it’s obvious it wasn’t all one take, but that doesn’t matter, does it? It’s an adequate scene. 

Scene 4. Shayla LaVeaux, Randy West

The next scene features Shayla LaVeaux and Randy West. There is some lead up, but the two get right into the sex. West is always a pro, and Shayla LaVeaux moans somewhat in this quick romp. The two have little chemistry together and it is adequate, at best. THe two have sex on a desk, then a couch before a money shot is given and we are out of there. This is a weaker scene, and while Shayla LaVeaux is nice to look at, it’s just a paint by numbers scene. 

Scene 5. Asia Carrera, Alex Sanders

In the dream world now we have a cuckolding scene where Randy West has to watch his former partner Asia get it on with Alex Sanders. The two get right to it and have fast sex on a bed in the dream world. Asia keeps mocking West, and the scene goes forward with straight sex, and fast paced movements. We get a money shot onto Asia’s stomach, and the end of the scene, in dream land. It’s adequate, but you can tell that it’s robotic for the most part. 

Scene 6. Jill Kelly, Kylie Ireland, Mia Ciccero, Sean Rider

Another dreamworld option we get Sean RIder taking on three women at once, and he does an ok job with it, and the other women are there for eye candy as well. This is a condom scene, with an interesting bed layout, set, and lighting. It’s straight forward, Rider takes turn with Jill Kelly, Kylie Ireland, and Mia Ciccero. We get a money shot on Ireland’s chest, and then we move along to an all female scene. This was ok at best. 

Scene 7. Jill Kelly, Juli Ashton, Kylie Ireland, Shayla LaVeaux

A four way scene is shown next, and we get strap ons and lots of oral. If you’re a fan of lesbian sex, then you’ll like the movies momentum here. It’s a good solid scene, and the women, even though it seems like they are phoning it in at times, do a good job of providing eye candy overall and that’s what the movie is for, right? 

Scene 8. Shayla LaVeaux, Steve Drake

THe last scene is a pink lit scene with Shayla LaVeaux and Steve Drake. It’s an adequate scene, as it is just straight forward sex, with lots of intimacy up front, kissing, and petting before getting into the action. Drake wears a condom in this one, and it’s not that great, as the two are robotic in their endeavors. It’s an adequate scene, and there’s some good moments, but the rock soundtrack and lighting really take me away from the scene. 

Overall, “Daydreams Nightdreams” gets a 3 out of 5.

Witch’s Tail (2000) Review

A Witch's Tail (2000) DVD Cover

Today we are going to venture to the year 2000. This movie was produced in 1999 but was released in 2000, and it is a movie that was directed by Bud Lee. Bud Lee takes on the director’s chair and the distribution company here is Adam and Eve. The movie that we will be reviewing today, is none other than, “Witch’s Tail”. This is a movie that I first caught wind of on the Spice Network, which is a cable channel that showed adult movies, but didn’t show the penetration or the erect penis. If you have seen that style of porn, it’s so odd, and yet so thrilling at the same time. Anyways, the stars of this movie include Julie Meadows, Chris Cannon, Cheyenne Silver, Steve Hatcher, Asia Carrera, Rayveness, Alexandra Silk, Anna Malle, Joel Lawrence, and Jon Dough. This is a higher end production and it has a story, which means it could be good, right? Well, let’s hope so.

The graphic sup front are interesting, with a focus on the budget. The credits come in with cool fonts and interesting colors, and we see a man riding a horse. A woman is on the side of the road and it appears to be back in the day. We are going back in time in this picture, even though it was filmed in the late 1990s, and released in 2000. The movie shows a Victorian woman with an umbrella, while a man is in the wild, riding on a horse as the credits come through.

Once the credits stop, we see a man in a confederate uniform. He comes to a woman and says that he has waited too long to see her. We then see that it’s a woman writing a novel, and is having a hard time coming up with a poetic way of describing the scene. After a few breaks, we get sent to a love making scene with the two characters.

For this sex scene, we start with Julie Meadows and Chris Cannon. Julie Meadows is all dressed up, and is a blonde with a shaved pubic mound. She’s a bit older here, and has long blonde hair, and a milf’s face, with nice legs, big teeth, and a thin body. The scene kicks in with some instrumental music, and Cannon going in for oral. After some oral, Meadows gets on her knees to blow Cannon while he’s still in the confederate uniform, mind you. The blow job is ok, nothing too fancy, and the director pushes you through the outer elements that they are in. They are outdoors, with natural lighting, and the exteriors are interesting, as they contrast with the sex that is about to go down. After some oral, we see a full frame view of the action, with Cannon going deep with Meadows. She’s naked, has small breasts, and the two focus on reverse cowgirl to start. The music dips a little and you hear the two’s bodies hitting one another, alongside Meadows moaning a great deal. The sound is enough to get you started if you’re looking for a scene to deliver a little tension relief. There’s no condom here, and after a few minutes, things switch up to anal and you really get a sense for the size, shape, and overall chemistry that the two have as Meadows squeals and gets louder as the two engage in anal. It’s a good scene, mind you, and it’s well lit with a standard of chemistry that I haven’t seen in a lot of movies up to this point. After some back and forth, anal, and different positions Cannon cums on Meadow’s face, and that’s the end of this scene.

After the scene, we get cut to a woman writing in her journal. She says that she’s having a hard time writing a novel, and she’s not sure how to continue. We see that it’s Asia Carrera and she’s just having writer’s block. A phone rings and she picks up, and talks to a publisher and says that she’s not lost on ideas. The publisher says that the next book has to be good, and it has to get into the top 10, and things should go very well or else. Then we progress with the story.

The story shows Asia Carrera and another brunette getting introduced to a random old dude. He has an accent that sounds a little like Sean Connery. The two women go into the study and we find out that it’s Carrera’s characters aunt, and she’s passed. She looks at all the pictures and notices that in every single one, the woman that has passed doesn’t age. It’s a weird coincidence at first, but she shrugs it off.

Next, we see Asia Carrera in a room on her laptop, when a wind comes in. The wind brings smoke and she looks out into a hallway. In that hallway are two people, and they start to kiss as Asia looks on.

Cheyenne Silver and Steve Hatcher start to makeout a little when an instrumental song starts. The next moment we see Silver on her knees sucking away at Hatcher. Cheyenne Silver is a thin, young woman with brunette hair, a thin frame, and is dressed like she is in the Gilded Age. The two are on a balcony for this scene, and they don’t have much chemistry at all. It’s a function sex scene, with a little moaning, but the music turns down and you get to see it all, and it’s not that grand. The lighting is dark, and you can barely see what’s going on, and at one point it looks like Hatcher’s wearing a condom, but I can’t really tell because the blocking and lighting is really bad. Silver is ok, but you can’t really see much of her in this scene, which gets done faster than expected. Silver is pretty, don’t get me wrong, but the lighting leaves a lot to be desired so don’t expect much from this one. The scene is interesting and the scenario works for the story here, while Asia looks on to see what’s going on. When the lighting gets a little better around the 30 minute mark, we see that Hatcher’s wearing a condom, and the scene really isn’t that fun to watch honestly. It’s ok at best.

After this night scene we are taken to a shower. We see Asia Carrera in the shower lathering up and enjoying the steam. Then we are taken outside where Rayveness and Asia Carrera are sun bathing. Some soft music starts, and the bikinis come off.

Rayveness and Asia Carrera start to kiss, and then goes into oral. Rayveness here is younger, has brunette hair and tanned skin, with a pretty face, and nice body. She wears sunglasses here, and Asia Carrera here is trimmed, and looking great as you’d expect. The extent of the scene is mostly oral, and there’s not much to it, other than just pure sex, with the exception of Rayveness turning away and looks to be turned into a witch and disappears! This was an easy going scene with not a lot of action.

After the lesbian sex scene we see the publisher showing up and asking about the next chapter of Asia’s book. She gets mad, and then tells him that she’s going to get his job done if she’d leave her alone. After that, we are taken to the inside of the home where a random woman shows up. It appears to be Alexandra Silk, I think. She invites Asia Carrera to a party.

The next scene is the party. Some soft alternative rock music instrumentals start and we are taken to what appears to be a swingers party. Joel Lawrence, Alexandra Silk and Anna Malle start to kiss and make out, then oral begins. This is a fully blown threesome and Asia Carrera is there watching, and looking uncomfortable. Joel Lawrence wears a condom for this scene and it’s not bad. Anna Malle is a tanned, loud woman with large breasts and an Italian look to her. Alexandra Silk is a hippy looking woman with reddish hair, full bush, thin frame, and young face. The trio work through several different positions and lots of moaning and dirty talk, with good lighting until Lawrence comes on Anna Malle’s body. It’s a good scene with a nice finish but it’s not long, and just has some bad editing. Other than that, the scene has some chemistry, just not a lot of it. It’s ok at best.

After the scene we are taken to where Joel Lawrence is and he asks Asia Carrera where she was. She slaps Lawrence and runs away.

We are then taken to a place where Asia asks about what is going on. She talks to the care taker, and he tells her about Carrera’s aunt. It’s here that we get the full story, and it turns out that the aunt was a witch and the care taker talks about how he is there to take care of intruders and more. Then we see some laughable moments where he gets a sword and vanquishes a witch that shows up, only to leave Asia Carrera in a white nightgown and Jon Dough to show up as the reincarnation of the caretaker. This is an odd turn, but hey, it’s a porno, right?

Asia Carrera and Jon Dough begin to have oral sex, with a focus on her for once. They are outdoors, in the dark, and just begin with subtle foreplay into oral. There’s no condom here, it’s straight forward sex, with nothing too great to start. There’s an instrumental soundtrack here, and straight forward bare sex. It’s slow, methodical, and artsy. Carrera lies on her back for the most part. After some time the two switch positions and we get to doggy style, and Jon Dough just looks very mechanical compared to what Asia Carrera looks like. Carrera pushes back and seems to be cumming naturally while Dough just seems to be in work mode for the most part. It’s a dichotomy that occurs in porn a lot. The lighting is bad, the sound design shifts to just the sounds of the fire, and moaning from Carrera. The two continue in doggy style until Dough cums on her butt and that’s it. The scene ends, and we are left with the rest of the story. This scene isn’t that great, no matter how much Asia Carrera seems to like the sex, Dough just throws me off as a mechanical participant.

After the sex, we see Lawrence and Carrera talking about how the story just came to her, and that’s it. The two are left in an office and we see the end. Nothing special, and the credits role, and that’s about it.

I give “A Witch’s Tail” a 3 out of 5.

There’s a lot of lighting issues that mired the scenes here. Other than that, it seemed mechanical for the most part, with just a few saving graces. I didn’t find it to be grand at all, and while the opening sex scene does get you a bit hard, the rest is just boring, including the ending. Now, if you’re a big fan of Asia Carrera then you’ll want to pick this up for your collection.

You can purchase “A Witch’s Tail” on DVD or stream it by clicking here, and see what you think about the movie starring Asia Carrera.

Breeders (1996) Review

Breeders (1996) Poster

Well, here we go again, it’s time to get back into our time machine and look at the 1990s. It’s here that we are going to find out a bit more about a movie that has a lot of stars from the past, and some that you may be familiar with. This time around we are going to a larger budget movie option that was directed by Brad Armstrong, and distributed by Metro. This movie is called “Breeders”. It was released in 1996, and it has a higher budget than most. The stars of this movie include Sindee Coxx, Peter North, Dawn Burning, Kaitlyn Ashley, Alex Sanders, Sean Rider, Nadia Moore, Steve Drake, Anna Malle, Ruby, Gina LaMarca, Jon Severini, and Asia Carrera. The movie seems interesting enough, but is it any good? Well, let’s find out and see what’s up with this release from Metro.

From the start of the movie, you can tell that there was a higher budget than most. This movie starts with a very video game style introduction, with a lot of noise, and audio production to the credits. You really get a feel for the post-apocalyptic element that you’re going to be witnessing in this movie, that’s for sure.

Earth has become split into a few different factions. Those that are breeders and those that are not. The non-breeders are a band of criminals that want to kill everyone else. They are an underground group. They are criminals, and after the nuclear war killed everyone, only 12 people were left to breed. This is all talked about in the introduction which features a narrative voice. We see Peter North walking around a desolate area, which seems to me to be a spot near Inglewood.

Peter North runs into a busty blonde haired woman, and it’s none other than Sindee Coxx. Sindee Coxx gets on her knees and starts to blow Peter North. Sindee Coxx is a blonde haired, busty woman, and she has that California porno look. There’s a weird saxophone driven soundtrack that begins, and North stands amidst some dirt trees, with shadows being pushed to the side by the lighting rigs of the movie. It’s not well lit, but it’s lit enough to see what’s going on, and it’s Coxx going to town before North and her decide to have sex. The sex is adequate, the angles are ok, Peter North always looks like he’s in work mode, while Coxx seems to get wet and really get into the sex, even if it doesn’t last that long. The two work out well enough in multiple positions until North cums on Coxx’s pubic hair.

After North cums, we see some Roman Reigns looking dude come through and says, “they were here”. Then you are taken to an underground lair where a few guys are talking about how they need to kill more breeders. This is definitely a post-apocalyptic area, and it’s interesting to see, no doubt.

After the guys say they need to get more breeders, the camera takes us to prison cell. It’s here that Dawn Burning, Kaitlyn Ashley, Alex Sanders and Sean Rider are. They are kissing, moaning, and starting to take off their clothes. The two women are blonde haired, big breasted women, with your classic porno look. One is tanned, the other isn’t. There’s a pubic mound that is trimmed, and there seems to be some genuine chemistry between the couples. For this scene, the lighting is great, the set dressing looks like something out of the “Walking Dead”, and close ups are really close, giving you a very specific view of the oral, and the different positions. The women seem to get into it, and the guys are hard, making this an interesting scene. The music is good too, and the only downside is the many shadows that are in here, which counteract with the glare of my television screen as I try to review this. Other than that, it’s an artistic balanced scene that you could easily splice into “The Walking Dead” and get fanfare for. At one point there is anal, and I wonder why the purpose of breeders would garner such a thing. I thought the purpose was repopulation? Then I remembered, this is a porno. At the 24 minute mark, the director accidentally shows what appears to be Sean Rider trying to get hard, and not being able to perform, so the edit goes back to Sanders, going in with anal. It threw me off balance, and it really doesn’t do well for the scene, and as the scene progressed there’s a lot of blocking, to ensure that you don’t see his short comings in the scene.

After the sex is done, we see the breeders putting on their clothes, and they are attacked by the rebels on motorcyles, and they have guns. They are all casually shooting at the breeders, and one of them gets shot in the arm. From this point forward we get a lot more story. We are taken through the story and lots of dialogue. There’s some clever acting from Steve Drake, Asia Carrera, and others. It’s actually not bad, and if you were to splice the non-sex elements of this movie, you’d actually get a nice little science fiction piece. After some back and forth between the tribes, and Steve Drake’s character introduced we are taken to the memories of his character.

Nadia Moore and Steve Drake are stuck in his memory, and he is slowly caressing and kissing her. They are about to have sex in what appears to be a military outpost. They start slow, with oral, and then start to go forward with a few sensual moments before engaging in sex. The music here is slow, methodical, and artsy, with a focus on the scenario as an art piece, even if there is a bit of sex involved. There’s a sense of purity to the sex here, and it’s interesting to see. However, Nadia Moore doesn’t seem that interested in Drake, and while he’s a pro, the scene lacks that authentic sensuality and chemistry that I feel is necessary for a good sex scene. Remember, this is a fantasy, so it’s interesting to see how this doesn’t really fulfill that element for me. It’s artsy, it’s hardcore, but without that little extra, it’s just two people going through the motions, and it shows. There’s not much to this sex scene, there’s minimal focus on the actual sex, Drake blows his load into Moore’s face, and the music continues to be erotic and we then get a director’s slow down to show off that this is art, not just porn. It’s not a terrible scene, but it lacks that certain sensuality that you’d expect from porn. It is a cool scene to watch though.

Up next we are taken to another lair and this time, it’s Alex Sanders meeting Ruby, and Anna Malle. However, the director has slowed everything down to the point where it’s kind of a terrible scene. The sound design is good, the artsy nature of the sex is not lost on me, but it’s so slow at times that it is just like flipping through a porno and watching the images kind of shift. It’s a lackluster scene that really ends with a cum shot and that’s it. You barely see the women, and the lighting is so bad, that you can’t really tell what’s going on with some of the shadows that are in place.

After the terrible sex scene, we are taken to a mercenary with a shot gun. This is a tall redheaded woman, and she asks for one of the bad guys to take off his clothing. She points a shotgun to him, and finds out that he has water, and then takes it from him, drinking the water and letting it drip on her body. This woman is Gina LaMarca and she is an older redhead, with a lot of makeup. She immediately starts kissing the rebel, and we are taken to the next scene.

In this scene, we are treated to Gina LaMarca and Jon Severini having sex. It starts with oral on her, and then moves forward to the traditional elements. She keeps her boots on. She is a tall redhead with a shaved pubic area, but with a clear landing strip, a tan body, and large augmented breasts. Severini and her have some great chemistry together and though the director again uses slow motion to capture some of it, and the music is horrendous, the two seem to work well together here. The two have sex in multiple positions, but mainly doggy style, but it’s mired by the director’s decision to use slow motion again, and keep the sound and music at full speed. It takes you away from the action, as the lighting shifts because they are outside. It’s a bad scene, and truly a baffling decision if you ask me. The two go well together, and the sex is fine when not in slow motion, but it’s the lighting, music, and lack of chemistry that gets me towards the end of the scene, which starts off nicely, and then mellows out towards the end. It’s like watching an escort work for an hour. Eventually Severini cums and it lands in LaMarca’s face a little, and that’s it. He’s not a big guy, and she doesn’t seem that interested in the sex, yelling out at the end and barely looking sweaty at all. It’s a lackluster display if you ask me.

After they have sex, the rebels come down on motorcycles and they are shot by the two. They get on their motorcycles and run off to another outdoor post.

I don’t know why, but the next scene after this includes Gina LaMarca and Jon Severini having sex again. That’s right, there’s essentially a duplicate scene from what you just saw, only this time it’s full speed, full sex, and features a cum shot to the back of LaMarca’s body. It’s not that good, it’s fast, and the lighting is horrendous. But at least we don’t get that crappy slow motion for this one. LaMarca moans a great deal, and the camera ends the sex fast.

After the sex, we see Steve Drake and Asia Carrera running to the lair of the bad guys with guns, and they go in guns blazing. They then go in and shoot the main guy, and we come to find out that he was a breeder all along. Drake shoots him, and that’s it. All of the bad guys are killed and we are left with just Breeders.

The movie takes a lighter tone when we see Asia Carrera and Steve Drake outside some abandoned building. Asia Carrera gets on her knees and starts to blow Steve Drake. The worst thing about this is the slow motion, and the director once again goes for artsy, with a focus on music that is sold at a swap meet by some Peruvian flautists. Steve Drake and Asia Carrera have sex outdoors, and it’s not a bad scene, if it wasn’t all done in slow motion! Asia is a beautiful woman, needs no introduction, and Drake really works well with her. The two seem to have some great chemistry in this sex scene, and while the motions are good, and you really get a feel for the sex, the slow motion elements mixed with real audio sounds is a horrible way to cast this. Drake eventually cums on Asia’s pubic mound and that’s it. We get a short, slow motion sex scene that was probably much funner for the actors to do than for me to watch. I didn’t even get half a chub, which makes this an odd finish to a cool movie.

I give “Breeders” a 2 out of 5.

This is a terrible movie. However, it’s interesting, it has a lot of cool elements to it, but it lacks all of the elements that make a good porno movie, good. The sex kind of sucks, but the story is cool, and the ideas are great. But the choice to make a lot of the sex slow motion and artsy really takes me out of it. Plus, the Asia Carrera scene should’ve been longer in my view. But then again, hey, I am not the director, I’m just a guy reviewing movies.

You can check out “Breeders” and see if you like it, as it is available on DVD, streaming, and other mediums. Click here to pick it up and get 15 minutes free for starting a trial. I didn’t hate it, but I also didn’t love it. Maybe you will, though.

Planet of The Babes (2001) Review

Planet of The Babes DVD Poster and VHS Box

When I was a teenager, I found out about the Spice Channel. It was a cable network that showed pornography but with a twist. The twist was simple, they didn’t show you hardcore elements. What I mean by that was that they were full run porno films, but they didn’t show the penetration, nor the acts that you would expect from a porn. Now, don’t get me wrong, they were still the movies that you would see if you were to rent them, but with strategically placed objects in front of the penises, and more. Imagine the scene from “Austin Powers” where there’s always something to cover the genitals and breasts. Well this was kind of like that, only you could see a lot more. For instance, you would see the eyes of a woman giving a blow job, or you would see the man’s face buried in her vagina, but you could not see his tongue, and you could not see his penis or her mouth. It was an odd way of doing things, but I didn’t realize that it was the way things were back then. Today, from what I’ve read online, you don’t have to worry about that, because they show all sorts of things on cable.

I begin with that introduction because that’s where I first heard about “Planet of The Babes”. I saw a trailer for the movie on the Spice Channel, as I ordered it illegally, and would later just pretend I didn’t, and had to eventually watch this movie. Well, I didn’t watch it until recently, because I have been tracking down all of the adult movies that I recall and am reviewing them as part of this blog. “Planet of The Babes” is a movie that sticks to the ideas that were presented in the original “Planet of the Apes” not the 2001 version that was coming out. This one tried to tie in the original concepts into a pornographic feature, while still maintaining some of the original story. With that in mind, you’re going to start this movie with a lot of dialogue, and guys walking around with space suits, and no helmets around what they assume is Earth. That’s right, this hardcore feature doesn’t even start very hardcore, but if you like plot with your hardcore, then by all means, this is a welcome solution.

The plot features the astronauts finding a watering hole, and then going for a swim. When their clothing gets stolen, they stumble across some people that are just eating fruit and sitting around naked. One of them finds a very attractive woman and decides it’s time to get it on, and so he does, wildly gets it on, and the movie continues from there. The astronauts get caught, some die, and others stay alive, but just like the main movie from the past, one stays alive to escape, down the line.

Jim Powers directs this movie, and it’s budget is somewhat low, but the costumes and the ideas are similar to that of the original “Planet of the Apes”, which is appreciated here. If you’re serious about your porno parodies being as close to the source material as possible, then “Planet of The Babes” is going to be the one you love, because it does a fine job of skewering the original at times, but maintaining that hardcore sex line as well.

The movie stars Asia Carrera, Steve St. Croix, Bridgette Kerkove, Gwen Summers, Flick Shagwell, Lola, Melissa West, Mickey G, Nick East, and Dave Hardman. These names are not made up, mind you. This movie was originally shot in 2000, and the DVD came out in 2001. It’s Jim Powers production via Sterling Pictures, and it was the first of a trilogy, which you may or may not know about. This movie was followed by “Playmate of the Apes”, and “Planet of the Erotic Ape”, all of which were tributes to the original, although this is the one that seems to fit the traditional story a bit more. The sets and design were well done here, but the apes were all wearing rubber masks, so that’s a little funny. Either way, there’s a lot of detail that went into the movie, aside from the obvious sleaze factor that comes with pornography.

Overall, the sex is fine, there’s a mix of outdoor and indoor caged sex, but nothing that really got me too excited. Asia Carrera does fuck Steven St. Croix, and their chemistry is usually good. However, since this was a bare floor sex romp, you can tell that the two couldn’t move nearly as much, and so Asia did a lot of the work, balancing herself and trying not to fall over and cause disruption. Maybe there’s bloopers in subsequent releases, but in the one I saw, there were no extras. Bridgette Kerkove is definitely hot, and her blow job in the beginning of the film was quite good, but again, outdoor sex, and the lack of springs or cushions really made the whole thing a bit unsexy. Sure, it’s sex, sure she’s beautiful, but the logistics are a bit poor here.

There are two schools of thought that come to mind with this film. There’s the Asia Carrera collectors that will want to purchase “Planet of The Babes” for her scenes, both straight and lesbian romps. Then there are those that want to just get off to some porn from the 2000 era. I don’t know which I would fall into now, but when I first heard about it and saw that Asia was in it, I was all about it. Going back to see this, now, I can truly say that I’m not a big fan of this movie. Sure, Asia Carrera is beautiful in her youth, and Jim Powers does a fine job pulling together a decent tribute to the original source materials, but if you are looking to get off, this may not do it. Sure, it’s functional for what it is, but a classic? No way, not even close. I watched it a couple of times, and honestly, aside from Asia Carrera and Steven St. Croix’s work here, I didn’t really find this too appealing. It does the job of being an adult movie, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not what I expected, and really put a damper on the fantasy that I had from first hearing about this movie. Sadly, “Planet of The Babes” is not the finest of movies, but hey, Asia Carrera in her prime! That’s got to count for something, right? I guess.

I give “Planet of The Babes” a 2 out of 5 stars.

You can buy “Planet of The Babes” via a adult dvd empire, or find it online somewhere, maybe even amazon from time to time.

Did you see “Planet of The Babes”? Do you like it? Drop me a comment and let me know.