Hollywood Heartbreakers (1985) Review

Hollywood Heartbreakers (1985) Poster

Before the year is over, let’s get into the world of the 1980s and see a movie that has some famous names, and some scenic backgrounds. This is a movie that ends this year with a huge bang, as you’re going to find that the stars here are from what I consider the golden era of adult cinema, even if there are others that will disagree with me. Who’s in this one? Well, let me just say, it’s one hell of a line up. The stars of this movie include, Amber Lynn, David Sanders, Beverly Bliss, Craig Roberts, Traci Lords, Tony Martino, Nicole West, Peter North, Gina Valentino, Rick Savage, and Greg Rome. This is a full scale production, with film grain, and a full theme song that sounds like The Go Gos and it’s not half bad. The director here is Mark Curtis, and the movie is from 1985, and it is called “Hollywood Heartbreakers”. So let’s dive into this classic from the golden era, as it’s one that you can’t find many places.

The movie starts with a blonde driving a BMW, and she picks up a car phone. It’s a guy named Tony and he says that she needs to get there fast. She says that she will arrive soon. That’s when the music starts to drop off a little, and we see a brunette that talks about wanting to suck off the guy named Tony. She starts to undress, showing off small breasts, red painted finger nails, red lips, light skin, and dirty talk. She talks like a woman that is having phone sex, slow and deliberate, and starts to strip off her clothes, until she shows off her pubic region, that has not been shaved at all. The music dims a bit more, and you hear her moaning a little as the camera goes up and down on the woman. The camera then switches to the driving woman, that is going up PCH in 1985, which is California, for those that don’t know.

Amber Lynn shows up at the door of David Sanders, and says that she was instructed to take care of a package. That’s when David Sanders starts to kiss her, and the porno music starts. A rock guitar riffs begin and Amber Lynn, a dirty blonde, with bright red lipstick starts to suck off Sanders from a limp starting point. The scene starts with a blow job, and full nudity, and no one is shaved here. If you’re a fan of the classics, you’ll love that the two get into 69 within 7 minutes of the movie, and Amber Lynn seems to really enjoy her work here, giving Sanders one hell of a blow job while he gives her oral on the other side, not minding the hair. Sanders isn’t huge, but he works with Lynn well enough. The camera work is bad though, the lighting is not great, and the shots of close ups are mired here and there with bad zooming in and out. The set here is a bit dark, it doesn’t look like a warehouse, but more likely a condo somewhere in the San Fernando Valley. The two go through a couple of positions, without condoms, and just go through the motions. Lynn doesn’t moan a lot, but a little here and there, and the music doesn’t fit the sex here, though I appreciate the attempt at original music. It’s not cliche at all, mind you. After some back and forth, and a bit of moaning, Sanders cannot hang on and eventually cums on Lynn’s stomach, pulling out and letting it fly, the camera slows down for it. Sanders lasts a while, but it’s not a marathon session at all. Lynn says that she takes good care of packages, and that’s it.

Next thing we see is Amber Lynn getting to a phone and saying that she needs to check in on the other girls. We see Sanders pull out some money and then put it into her purse, and that’s it. The scan ends, and then we are taken to another woman. This time around we see Traci Lords putting on make up, getting ready to meet a client, as she picks up her phone, on the sunset strip.

Before seeing any action, we get a cut scene with Beverly Bliss having sex with a random guy named Tony. Then spliced into that, is Traci Lords driving a car. I just wanted to point out that if she was so young, why is she driving on camera? She’s got one hell of a car too, and this is not stunt driving, or anything fake, it’s legit, she’s driving what appears to be a Thunderbird. She visits Tony Martino.

Before the sex starts, we get a strip tease with Lords coming down some stairs, then kissing Tony Martino. The two get fully nude and begin with a little foreplay, Martino sucking and kissing Lords’ breasts. The two are outdoors, in the backyard of a mansion, overlooking Los Angeles. Tony Martino goes down on Lords right away, and the music here is quaint, piano music. The lighting is bad, with lots of shadows, and lots of sunlight obscuring some of the natural shots. Lords moans and moves a lot here, before Tony finally puts his hardness into Lords doggy style. Martino is not a good looking guy by any stretch, mind you. At the 26 minute mark, though, the action gets faster and harder, and the music changes to a 1980s rock tune, which I appreciated. That juxtaposes Lords moaning and gyrations, which intensify as she nearly screams in pleasure. This could be the most intense scene I’ve seen with Lords in it, and Martino does his job well, ugly as he is, and the two work well enough as the music goes faster and Martino just loses himself in the situation. Martino can’t hold his load, after a quick changeover, and cums on Lords’ face and chest, then rubs himself on her after the fact. You can almost hear the director yell cut, but the two end up kissing as the final moments close on this scene, and we fade into another point. New music picks up, Lords picks up her cash, which is only 300 dollars, which is standard for an hour with a mid-range escort, right? Just saying.

We see another woman riding around in a car. We get a conference call, and it’s Tony with Traci and Nicole, and we get a little nod to “Charlies Angels” complete with music. We also see a bit of sex with the guy named Tony, and his chick, but we don’t see his face, yet. It’s just a lot of hair, and a close up of the in and out process of the sexual landscape.

The next scene shows Traci Lords and Nicole West arriving at a home in Bel Air. There’s a hard cut, and we see a darkened warehouse set, with a boring looking couch, and a flaccid Peter North hanging out naked. Lords and West go inside the home, and they start to play with North. Music kicks in, the women take their tops off, and we start to get forward progress. The sex starts with Traci Lords riding Peter North’s face, while Nicole West gives him a blow job. The two women take turns going at North at the 35 minute mark with a blow job sequence that is epic. I’m talking dual blowing, North nearly humming straight out, and the two women focusing on his member in a way that you don’t really see in modern era film. It’s like West and Lords wanted to outdo each other, or they were just into this that much, I don’t know, but this sequence is intense, and really something that elevates this movie’s rating a lot more than the previous scenes. After dual blow jobs, North gives Lords the Russian treatment, between her breasts, while West gives her oral, as the music starts to intensify with drums and 80s bravado. There’s a cool visual design flow here, with North having sex in doggy style with Lords while a chair with two hands seem to be on her breasts. If you’ve seen this, then you know! This is a very cool effect, while the background of the set has antlers everywhere, like it’s a cabin or something. North looks like he’s going to cum any second, and he really does seem to be enjoying the process with Lords, as she moans and quivers. At one point West gets in the action, and Lords gives North a rim job, then at one point it appears that West fists North at around 42 minutes. The edit shifts and goes back to straight sex with reverse cowgirl and Lords with North, but I know what I saw, it was very odd, but the director decided to cut a little of it out. If you’re a fan of natural sex, with hair, and all that jazz, you’ll like this scene, even if the lighting and set leaves something to be desired. Lords and West seem to really like each other, mind you, and North is just a willing party here, and keeps it up as long as he can. This is a lengthy scene for the 1980s, mind you. After the sex seems to get boring, North cums on the two women’s chest, and then we get splicing in some of the past sequences, and it’s all over with a nice blast from North. Not his biggest load, but a nice quality one none the less. The women squirm, the film slows down, and for whatever reason the director focuses on North’s face before we get a hard cut and a new scene.

Gina Valentino is driving, and picks up the car phone to find out that she has a date. Tony is scene having sex again, and it’s the same sequence that you got earlier.

At this point, you see that Gina is headed to Marina Del Rey California, and that’s a throw back for me, since I lived in the area for some time.

We move along and we get to a point where we see Gina Valentino stripping for Rick Savage. Savage watches on, and the two are going to be moving forward with ease. Valentino has small breasts, shoulder length, teased brunette hair, is all natural, yet has a pubic mound that is trimmed. She starts to masturbate, and Savage looks on. The two have sex, and it’s probably one of the most boring sex scenes I’ve seen in a long time. Savage looks like he is really concentrating here, and Valentino is just going through the motions, allowing her lover to just go to town. After some time in Doggy Style, Savage cums on the lower back of Valentino and that’s it, perhaps one of the most formulaic scenes I’ve ever seen, dropping the rating on this one a lot lower than the previous scene.

Up next, we see the same splicing in of sex from Tony, and we see Amber Lynn driving around. She eventually pulls up to a house, in a red dress, and talks to Greg Rome and Ron Jeremy poolside. They banter a little and then move inside.

We go inside with a hard cut, and everyone’s already nude. There’s a heavy bass line started, and a rock guitar with some nice drumming to go along, as we move in with the camera. The set here is a den from the 1980s, with bad carpeting, terrible looking couch, and of course that 1980s aesthetic in terms of filming. Rome gets blown by Amber Lynn, a tight blonde, while Ron Jeremy gives her doggy style. The thing to look out for here is the fact that Ron Jeremy is thin, and makes his penis look a lot larger, because of course it’s about 9 inches long, from what I’ve read. Either way, he is in his prime here, and he’s fit, and just goes for it with Lynn. It’s impressive to see Jeremy in his prime, not as the hedgehog later on, but rather his thin, progressive self. If you’ve read his book, then you know how hard working he was as a porno actor, director, and more. It shows here, as he steals the show here with Lynn. You get multiple positions, a threesome that lasts a while, and of course the cum shot with the crossing of swords several times, which is odd. Rome and Jeremy are big, close in size here, and Lynn tries to take them on both at the end with cum going on her face to finish things off. The music really gets good here, mind you.

We move along, and there’s a hard cut, and Amber Lynn calls in to Tony and we then see Tony’s face and the sex he’s been having, finishes up. It ends with a blow job and cum in mouth, and that’s the end of the movie. Tony is a pimp, and it’s all said and done.

I give “Hollywood Heartbreakers” a 3 out of 5.

Not even Ron Jeremy and Traci Lords can save the rest of this movie from boring me. However, Lords and Jeremy are in their prime, and if you can find this movie, good luck. It’s borderline illegal to have this. I was able to procure a copy while I was visiting Japan, and got this on Beta Max, because I’m insane. In the United States, you’ll have to get creative if you want a copy, otherwise, you cannot buy this from an affiliate or anything. Good luck.

Lust In The Fast Lane (1984) Review

Lust In The Fast Lane (1984) Poster 

Stepping back into our time machine we are going back to a controversial subject. We are going to be talking about a movie that came out in 1984. While in Japan, I was able to procure a copy of “Lust In The Fast Lane”, and after giving some time to the idea, I’ve decided to review it today. What’s the big deal about this movie? Well, it stars a lot of 1980s stars, including Traci Lords. Now, whether you want to argue with the fact that this movie was made at a certain time in Lords life, or if it’s illegal is up to you. We’ve reviewed LEGAL copies of these movies in the past, and since I purchased this in Japan, I purchased a LEGAL copy of this, and will be reviewing it as such. So let’s go back to 1984, and discuss “Lust In The Fast Lane”, which was later released and edited to not have Traci Lords in it. The stars of the original site included Ginger Lynn, Tom Byron, Crystal Breeze, Traci Lords, Eric Edwards, Peter North, Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Sheri St. Clair, Marc Wallice, and David Sanders. This was originally shown in porno movie theaters and the film grain is completely there, so you’ll note that it is made for theaters, and that includes the story, transitions, and film quality. If you are in Europe, or anywhere else where Traci Lord videos are legal to purchase, or you run into something online, then perhaps, you will want to know whether or not this movie is worth checking out for review or pleasure. The movie is directed by Adam, and it was released by Pink Visuals.

The first thing that comes through is that Tom Byron and Traci Lords are a couple. They want to go somewhere for the weekend. Byron says, let’s get into the car and just go somewhere. Lords says she doesn’t know where to go or where to stay, and well, Byron is all about going out, so the two leave their kitchen, get into a car, and venture off on the road. On the road, the car that they are in breaks down and they have to walk. They end up walking to a random house. In the house they see a random guy that is nude, and a woman in a swimsuit. The couple tell them that the nearest gas station is 15 miles away, and that they should stick around, and stay the night. Lords keeps saying that they don’t want to disturb anyone, and that’s fine. The couple have walked into a home that is very much a swingers house. Everyone is introduced, and they are instructed to just enjoy themselves, and that’s when things go forward with a little sexual encounter to start.

The camera fades and we are taken to doggy style sex and it’s Tom Byron and Ginger Lynn. There’s a deep bass guitar riff happening, and we see Byron getting it on with Lynn, meanwhile, we see a shift to see Crystal Breeze, Traci Lords and Eric Edwards having sex as well. So we see juxtaposition with both sex scenes going on at the same time. I hate how these things work, but I get it. This movie was meant for you to see it in theaters, therefore the sex is cut and edited to show two different scenarios, and they are both quite good overall, but it’s difficult to get a chub going as a result. However, it’s a steady focused sexual film with moaning, movement, sweat, and a rock instrumental. No one is shaved, no one is wearing condoms, and the set looks like some random house in the valley somewhere. There’s not much more that can be said about this, the juxtaposition sucks, going back and forth between sex partners is stupid, and I don’t like how that’s done in the 1980s. However, as far as the literal sex is concerned, it’s fun to see these starts of the past just do it, without having to complicate anything, and if you’re a fan of Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn, you’ll love this opening sex scene as things really work very well. We get two money shots and to the body, and that’s about it.

The sex stops and we see the couples sitting on an old couch. Things are just quiet, before we see the scene change. The scene changes to show Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn sitting on a bed. The lighting is a bit good, and the lens moves in to see the two women start to make out. Soft music starts to play, and it’s a very romantic start to a sexual romp between Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn. The two start to get into the sex, going with oral, scissoring, and getting close together. They move around a great deal and start to moan a bit, enjoying the process of sex, before we see a man join them. After a while of the two enjoying the process of lesbian sex, Peter North shows up, and he’s hard. The two kiss while Peter North masturbates until he cums on their faces. This is a very unique little sequence at around 23 minutes. North really goes hard here, and cums a lot on the two, it’s even done in slow motion to show off the art of the sexual element. There’s a little sexual component to this, at one point it looks as though Ginger Lynn gets doggy style but it’s not a long sex scene with North involved. Lords doesn’t get involved with the sex, other than getting oral.

We move next to a den and there’s Tom Byron and 3 women. The host says that the ladies will have a good idea as to what to do next, and that’s when they get nude. Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Shery St. Clair, and Tom Byron start to have sex here. It’s a four some that starts with Byron getting blown soft, and it appears to be a struggle for him to get hard even though he has 4 women on him. The women are all brunettes, all natural, curvy, and look a bit older. Byron looks so young here, and eventually he gets hard enough to have sex. It’s obvious that he’s not that into the women here, and while the music starts to get louder, the moaning comes through as well, and it’s interesting to see this scene. It’s a bit awkward, but eventually Byron gets into it, even though the women are over acting. Eventually, Byron gives a money shot and that’s the end.

The scene switches and we get a little interlude between Tracy Lords and Tom Byron before we are taken to another part of the house.

The next part of the house features Sheri St. Clair, David Sanders, Marc Wallice, and Peter North. Sheri St. Clair has large natural breasts, a thin frame, and way too much makeup to make her look a little younger than she is. She’s got a full bush, has long curly brunette hair, and it’s interesting to see her here. She gives the guys a blow job here, and they aren’t that hard. It’ funny to see the dudes struggling and eventually getting harder. Peter North especially is not hard, as St. Clair tries to put two penises in her mouth, and they are not that hard. It’s funny to compare size here. The rock music is good here. The men go forward with having sex, and the highlight here is a double penetration point. There’s a DP sequence while St. Clair blows another guy, and it’s not half bad. It’s rare to see DP in these movies, so it’s interesting to see this one, and there’s no condom of course. Eventually all the dudes cum and that’s the end.

We are taken to a patio where Traci Lords and Tom Byron talk, and like to stay a little longer. The two then move to the inside of the house, some romantic saxophone music plays, and we see a shift.

This time around we see Tom Byron and Traci Lords making out in a bubble bath. Lords reaches Byron and starts to blow him. He gets hard fast here, and you can tell that he’s into the process, and has chemistry with Lords. He’s done several scenes with Lords at the time of filming this movie, so it’s known that they are good together. There’s some reciprocating oral before Traci and Tom start to have sex. The sex stars, and you can see that Lords gets wet for Byron, and the two have sex on some tiles while the bubble bath starts to dissipate a little. This is a simple sex scene, doesn’t last too long and eventually gets Byron to cum on Lords’ backside and that’s it. This is a simple sex scene that doesn’t last too long, mind you, and then just ends.

After the sex, we are taken to a hallway where Tom says he needs to get going home, but the host says that there is one last activity that he should stay for, and that’s a group sex scene. Crystal Breeze, Ginger Lynn, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, David Sanders, Eric Edwards, Marc Wallice, Peter North, and Tom Byron engage in an orgy to finish off this movie. I’ve seen plenty of porno movies and different stories that have come from them, and this ending sequence is not that titillating. There’s just too much going on here, and lots of camera switches with different focuses. You don’t really know who’s who here, until you start to get a few shots that pull away from the action. While this is functional, and I know that the people involved are having sex, and for the most part are enjoying the process of filming this scene, you can’t really get that focus that you need to get too excited. The camera is everywhere, doesn’t stick around with many of the couples, and just keeps going forward between everyone having sex. All of the sex ends, and we see Tom Byron say that he’s had enough sex.

After the sex ends, he gets bitten. Then smoke comes through the scene, and the men and women all say that he’s one of them now. They keep saying, “you’re one of us now”, and he’s scared, but he’s been bitten, and you find out that this has been a vampire ritual, and they all have fangs! What a twist ending! Tom Byron has been bitten and we see that he’s now a vampire too! That’s the end of this film, and wow, what a weird twist of fate.

I give “Lust In The Fast Lane” a 3 out of 5.

I would give this less of a score but that ending really got me, and it was interesting to see a porno movie with a twist ending like that. I haven’t witnessed a lot of twists and turns in porno quite like that. As for the sex, it’s ok, Traci Lords is fine in it, nothing special to remember, and the rest of the crew did ok as well. It’s kind of a short porno movie that really doesn’t pick up until the end where things really get wild. If you’re a huge fan of Lords, perhaps you’ll want to get this one, just not in the United States. Other than that, meh, I can’t say much more about this one.

Miss Passion (1984) Review

Miss Passion (1984) Edited Poster 

Well, it was time to leave the 1990s and get back to the 1980s for another video that features some stars from the past. This time around we are going to 1984, and we are going to be reviewing a movie that was directed by Suze Randall. The movie was distributed by Vidco Entertainment, and stars a great deal of men and women that you may know about or may not know about. The stars of this movie include, Crystal Breeze, Peter North, Lisa De Leeuw, Howard Ziehm, Rachel Ashley, Craig Roberts, Ginger Lynn, Traci Lords, Rikki Blake, Craig Roberts, Steve Drake, Susan Hart, Paul Baressi, Steve Powers and Greg Rome. All of these people are involved in this one, and if you’re a fan of any of them, you may want to seek this out. I must say, before going forward with the review, that Traci Lords was in this movie, and I was able to garner a copy from Japan when visiting. In the United States, you may not be able to find this at the retail level, although ebay, and other platforms do sell this movie from used sources. New copies are extremely rare, unless you are going overseas and they have a lot of them.

The movie opens up with the director. She is hosting a show, and this show is about who is Miss Passion. The opening is funny, and it has an interesting premise and set. The set is a bed, on a stage with lots of lighting. We are introduced to the judges and it’s interesting to see how it all works out. This is like a real game show! It gets 1 star from me just for creativity, and good acting up front. But what about the rest of the movie? Well, here we go, let’s see how this all pans out, as it is a game show, in a porno movie, from 1984.

I must note that the bed in the center of the stage is a blow up mattress. I also must note that this is game show like rules with each performer having live sex for the judges.

The first major contestants start to kiss and make out a bit. The two are Peter North and Crystal Breeze. North has a difficult time getting too hard with Breeze’s first initial blow job but eventually gets there, and then goes into sex with her. Breeze is a tall brunette with medium size breasts, and moans loudly for North. North is in work mode here, there’s a lack of passion overall. The music is a trivial jazzy piece that sounds a lot like you would expect from a 1980s game show. Breeze’s moaning gets louder as the two engage in doggy style and it’s a good sequence of pushing at one point, but it’s obvious that the bed is not that grand. They get the job done, and the director stays with the action for the most part. They go through several positions while editing show Lisa De Leeuw and Howard Ziehm having sex on a couch as the judges. The sex goes for a while and in reverse cowgirl, Breeze and North finish up with a money shot on Breeze’s pubic region for the finish. Breeze is loud, but it was obvious that North was just phoning it in for the most part. Not sure why, but Breeze just didn’t do it for him or something. They give the two a 9.99 and we are back to the host.

They introduce a new woman and this time she is a tall, thin brunette with large natural breasts. She has good makeup, and n Egyptian style outfit. Out comes Craig Roberts to have sex with her. Craig Roberts and Rachel Ashley get on the blow up mattress and start to have sex immediately after a little oral from Ashley. This is a slow moving scene, with Ashley barely moaning at times. Here large breasts are nice to look at, and her frame is nice, but the two have this slow moving sexual chemistry that is just odd considering this is supposed to be a contest and porno at the same time. The music is turned down a little, and we see the action for the most part while Ashley wears a blue skirt. There’s a few positions here and there but eventually Craig Roberts cums by yelling and masturbating onto Ashley’s pubic hair and region. That’s the end. It’s a lackluster scene with minimal noise, moaning, and chemistry. They give the performance a 9.25.

We are introduced to two new women, and this time it’s Ginger Lynn and Traci Lords. This is not a terrible sequence of events, and the judges start to go at it while watching. Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn work well together here, slowly and passionately kissing and having oral sex. The music is terrible, but the sets are nice, and the two seemingly really enjoy what they are doing, going back and forth through the sex with relative ease. There’s not much to this scene, mind you, it’s a lot of touching, and fingering, and a little oral here and there, but it’s mostly just a sensual romp.

Rikki Blake and Craig Roberts are supposedly next for the sex competition and it’s interesting to see at first. The initial oral wasn’t half bad, but over the course of the sex it started to get boring a bit, and well, it’s a bit lackluster. There’s not much in terms of sound, no music that I could hear, no moaning, and just average sex. It works, but it’s as though the two just didn’t really get into this fast paced sequence of sex. Rikki Blake is a shorter, thin blonde, and while it works for a little bit, it just gets old fast, and the sex is mediocre at best.

Next we see Steve Drake and Traci Lords, and it’s not a terrible scene. It starts with oral from Lords to Drake, and the music once again sucks, but there’s a bit of focus on a different bed set and smoke. It’s an interesting contrast to the other scenes, and Drake here is in his prime, cut, thin, and built. Lords welcomes him to dine, and shows off her flexibility before they start to engage in anything further. Lords is quite loud in this one as she always is, and it truly does look good through the short sex scene. Drake seems to enjoy the whole process going through the motions of multiple positions here.

Up next out comes Ginger Lynn. Ginger Lynn in her prime is what you’re getting here, and she’s always amazing to watch. For this scene, you get Paul Baressi and Steve Powers joining Ginger Lynn for a threesome. They immediately launch into oral, and start to work towards sex, slowly. For all intents and purposes, this is your average sex scene with three people. Lynn moans a great deal for the most part, especially during the 47 minute mark, and she really seems to be enjoying things, while one guy is behind her and the other is in her mouth. She then starts to give a dual hand job, and it’s not bad, but not great either. The guys take turns with her, but eventually this leads to something a bit more compelling. If you’re a fan of double penetration, then you’ll love the 50 minute mark when things get started in that direction. Ginger Lynn gets double penetration and she is as loud as ever. After a bit of this, there’s a cum shot and that’s it. Lynn and her partners get a 9.5 for their performance by the judges.

Up next comes Susan Hart and Greg Rome for sex. This is a mediocre scene with terrible techno music. Susan Hart is a thin, tanned, curly haired brunette. Greg Rome comes out dressed like a Roman and the two start with oral quickly. This is a lackluster, boring scene with only the set and the music to really distract you. Hart has some big breasts, and moans a bit towards the 56 minute mark, but other than that, this is a somewhat frivolous scene and will no doubt only find a few fans. It’s phoned in completely, and while I don’t hate it, it’s obvious that the two have little chemistry and that they are going through the motions. It’s workable, and out of the blew we get a cum shot, and the judges only give this a 6.7 overall. It’s not a great scene at all.

Since this is a game show, they give awards at the end. And they give everyone an award, and nothing that great. Rachel Ashley gets the award for Miss Passion, and that’s the end of the movie. Perhaps one of the oddest ones I’ve reviewed thus far.

I give “Miss Passion” a 2 out of 5.

Yes, it’s creative. Yes it features some ok performances from the actors, but honestly, it’s not that great. It gets a little boring at times. In fact, I wanted to turn it off at certain points. It’s an interesting premise, no doubt, and it works as a porno from the 1980s. I can see this being shown in theaters, honestly, but outside of that, I don’t think anyone is going to be wanting to see this unless it’s the unedited version which is extremely hard to get.

Aroused (1985)

Aroused (1985) Cover

Today we are visiting the year 1985 for a movie that was ordered to be destroyed in the United States. The only way that you can get this movie is to get an edited version on DVD, have the original VHS tape from what it was released, the original movie reels from the premier of the movie in theaters, or if you bought it outside of the United States. I currently don’t know any companies that sell this, and I happened upon a copy of this at a yard sale where a guy was selling a box of porn. Lucky me, I guess? This is a movie that starts Josephine Carrington, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, Tom Byron, Ali Moore, Greg Derek, Peter North, and Steve Powers. The movie is called, “Aroused” and it was released in 1985, and stars, well, you know that it stars Traci Lords. But is it any good? Well, let’s see what the movie is about.

The opening of the movie features Lords in a car with whom I assume is a young Tom Byron, I can’t really tell at first glance. The scene features a guy asking Lords to get ready for a night of fun and that she should allow the people she will meet to help her become uninhibited. She is then taken to a house where a few women start to undress her and then put a collar on her. They then move her to what is for sure, Tom Byron. Tom Byron is waiting with his pants off, a leather jacket on and sunglasses on.

The women blindfold Traci Lords and ask her to blow Tom Byron. The first major scene features Traci Lords learning how to blow with Tom Byron. Meanwhile there are two women trying to show her, and another woman getting naked. Tom Byron says that she needs to practice a bit, and one of the ladies volunteers to show her how to do it. She then takes off Lords’ blindfold and shows her on Tom Byron how to blow someone properly. The opening blow job scene features Josephine Carrington, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, and Tom Byron. It goes from a tutorial to all of the women tasting Byron, and then him cumming onto Lords’ mouth. The best part is after he cums Lords continues to lick and suck, creating one hell of a ending point, and definitely an interesting opener for this movie. The set is a well lit mansion, with the ladies being classic 1980s porno women, all natural, not shaved, big hair, and of course Lords with her curly hair.

The scene changes and we see Lords typing at a typewriter. Yes, a real typewriter, since this is 1985 after all. She takes a break from writing a novel or a story, and she gets a pair of binoculars out and starts to look at the neighbors. She tries to see what is going on, and it seems like they are fighting. But in reality, they are just making up, and eventually start to kiss. There’s some soft piano music playing, and Lords watches with her binoculars as the two start to make out a little.

Sex comes through next and it features Ali Moore and Greg Derek. The music changes to a pop song, and the two start to get it on. Greg Derek is a blonde haired man in his late 20s from what it appears, and Ali Moore has brown hair tight body, natural breasts, and not shaved. There’s no condoms in these 1980s movies, so it’s all straight forward sex. The pop song throws me off, the set here is an average apartment bedroom, with lackluster wallpaper, and interior design. Ali Moore gives an ok blow job, the camera moving forward into it a bit and the song really getting annoying. Moore looks like a fourth grade teacher, with a short hair cut that goes almost to her shoulders. The sex is adequate, a little bit of moaning, nothing too crazy, and just forward progress. The music shifts after the two go through 69, and it turns into a techno 1980s beat. Eventually Greg Derek cums on Moore’s pubic hair and that’s the end of the scene. A somewhat lackluster sex scene with minimal chemistry between the two.

On the other end, Traci Lords is getting aroused and she decides to touch herself a little before she calls a friend. The two start talking about how it’s hard to write a novel, and that Lords can’t complete her novel because she keeps thinking about sex. Her friend then tells her to have sex with her man and it’ll all go away.

This leads them to hanging up, and we see the next sex scene start. The next scene features Peter North and Kristara Barrington enjoying oral sex to start. Barrington has red heels and a blueish green dress on. North is young, athletic, and has serious chemistry with the brunette that is not shaved at all. The two start on a makeshift bed in front of a fire place, and it’s the most passionate the movie has gotten thus far, at around 28 minutes. Barrington is an Asian woman and moans quite a bit to start. The sex goes multiple positions, with a lot of attention paid to the insertion of Peter North, and he’s truly enjoying himself in this one. The two go at it a good amount of time, and then Peter North delivers a good money shot with a lot of cum, even getting it into Barrington’s hair. The two laugh about it, and that’s it. This was a long one take shot, with Peter North and Kristara Barrington really enjoying the sex, and a lot of moaning from Barrington. The money shot was classic North, and this scene really makes for an otherwise boring movie.

We go back to Traci Lords home and Steve Powers shows up. He says that she needs to take a break. She doesn’t think so, and kicks him out of the house. But he barges back in and is upset. He says that he can help her relax, but she refuses.

Steve Powers says that she is going to relax even if he has to force her, so we get a cut from the writing table and to a bed where the two are naked. Steve Powers and Traci Lords start with oral, and the sex scene goes well, as it is the second to last showcase. The scene is in a bedroom, and it’s lit a bit better than the previous scene, although the tape I have is in need of a remaster. Lords and Powers work well together, he seems to know what buttons to press and make Lords moan a bit. The music here is a jazzy saxophone tune, which isn’t bad, but isn’t great either. The two go into 69 and it’s not too bad, but Lords isn’t moaning as much by this point. The two go through multiple positions, including doggy style, and before long Powers is getting ready to blow. Lords moans a lot in this scene, and Powers gives a good performance, while the director chooses to move back and forth with the angles. There’s a hinge of authenticity to this scene, and it really is more than just another sex scene, which I’m sure Traci Lords’ fans are going to enjoy. The sequence ends abruptly, without a money shot.

After the sex we are back to the typewriter and Traci Lords is just typing away. After this, the camera focuses back on the mansion from the beginning of the film, and we are treated to one last orgy.

The orgy in this movie’s final sex scene features Josephine Carrington, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, Steve Powers, and Tom Byron. The women take turn having sex with both Powers and Byron, and everyone involved seems to enjoy the process. There’s a lot of moaning, some decent oral sex, and all the women taking turns going at it with the men. This is a loud one, so if you have it turned up, you may wake the neighbors. Of course, Traci is quite loud, but it’s also Barrington, and St. Clair that make some noise. There are authentic orgasms here, with a focus on loud moaning, and legitimate sex with a very young Tom Byron. Byron eventually cums on Lords’ stomach and it’s one hell of an ender.

The movie ends with Steve Powers and Traci Lords repeating the same thing from the beginning of the film, and that’s it. She puts on a pair of panties, and we get the credits to roll, and that’s the end of this movie from 1985.

I give “Aroused” a 3 out of 5.

This movie wasn’t great. It had a decent plot, and it features some good camera work, ok music, and it had some interesting sex scenes. If you’re a fan of Traci Lords and can hunt this one down legally, go for it. She moans, screams, and enjoys herself throughout. Tom Byron fans will love his youth, and Peter North’s performance was definitely good. However, as a whole, the scenes were a bit short, the transfer wasn’t grand, and some of the sex was a bit boring. It’s not a great porn, but it’s a testament to the 1985 movie going experience, and therefore it should get at least a 3 out of 5.

Tracy Dick (1985) Review

Tracy Dick (1985) Movie Poster

First and foremost, I want to give a shout out to my friend Angela, as she was the one that helped me pick out this movie to review. It’s thanks to her recommendation that we are now going to venture back to the 1980s, for a movie that was supposed to be burned in the United States. I won’t get into every detail, but after a lot of reading, and supreme court essays, I’ve concluded that reviewing movies featuring Traci Lords is fine, all things considered. However, I’ve gone to great lengths to purchase legal copies of this, and not from the United States, but from Europe, Mexico, and other areas. Whatever the case may be, this is a Traci Lords movie that was supposed to be destroyed, and you can only get it via DVD-R, VHS, or through alternative means. My copy came from Spain, and had a Spanish dub track and an English track. The Spanish language track is hilarious. But I’m going to review “Tracy Dick” from 1985 in the English language. This is supposed to be a parody of "Dick Tracy" but without the noir style.

The opening of this movie has a hilarious custom song about the titular character, Tracy Dick. I found it hilarious, as it featured a great deal of comedy in the lyrics, and the style. It’s a classic 1980s style rock tune. The movie immediately gets to the action, and throws you into a “who done it” mystery. We are shown an office, Tracy’s office where she’s a private eye. She is reading a book about how to find the g spot, and starts to masturbate. She seems to be playing with some archaic toy, but I can’t make it out because the film grain is very bad on this transfer I received. She goes at it a while, but watching her is a nerdy guy played by Tom Byron. He’s a classic 1980s nerd stereotype. Tracy tries to explore some information about him, and he seems to throw a tantrum before Stacey Donovan shows up. It’s here that the story’s plot starts to work through as Tracy wants to get to the bottom of the peeping tom, and more. There’s comedy in this scene, and Traci can act. (Note, I’ll use Tracy as the character, and Traci as the actress back and forth, because it’s confusing, and kind of fun)

After the masturbation scene, and a phone call between the private eye, and what I assumed was Stacey Donovan, a threesome erupts. This features Traci Lords, Stacey Donovan, and Tom Byron. The thing that got me right away was the music. It’s a passionate score, with grainy pops and bad mix with the moaning and groaning over the top. Traci Lords teaches Donovan and Byron (the nerd), how to have sex, and it’s not half bad. Lords always seems to work well with Byron, and Byron has those classic nerdy good looks, and turns into a stud with relative ease. The scene isn’t half bad, and has a voyeuristic quality that isn’t half bad. But at one point the director decided to put the camera as close to the penetration as possible, and not with a good macro lens, so you’re going to get a lot of grainy movement and moans, and just odd sexual elements. I’m assuming this was done for the big screen, because on home video, this is just odd. Who can be turned on by this? This only lasts about 10 minutes, mind you, and Byron blows a small load, but you can’t really see much because the lighting is very dark in this movie.

The transitional stages of this scene furthers the plot, although it’s thin. Tracy wakes up Byron and discusses a little bit about the case at hand, and then we move to a lesbian scene starting, only to go into a full blown four way.

The sex scene here is supposed to be Heather Wayne, Jacqueline Brooks, Josephine Carrington, and Jesse Eastern, but my edited didn’t show all of the women. Instead, there was a scissoring scene, and a guy watching on his couch before joining the action. He watches the scene, and the women get so turned on that they get him to join the action, to a very muddy and not too sexy sequence. The lighting is really bad in this movie, and I do not have a remastered option, so it’s not that grand overall. Meanwhile there’s a transition where Stacey Donovan and Peter North are sneaking into a house, and that leads to sex as well. However, that doesn’t get immediate results, as the threeway, which is listed as a fourway starts, and it’s just boring. It’s an odd mix, with a little boredom and mechanics of sex. It’s not sexy at all.

Up next, without much of a transition, we get Stacey Donovan and Peter North going at it. Once again the director has decided to zoom in so close to the penetration and masturbation that you can barely tell what’s going on. I had a hard time making it out because it started to get quite blurry, and then the editing went back to a blow job from the threesome, causing this thing to just become muddled. It’s somewhat sexy, I guess, as there’s a hand job finish, but it’s so badly edited, and transitioned that it’s just not worthwhile.

Tracy and Tom show up to discuss the case as the sex scenes are done, and the movie transitions into another plot point before throwing in a sex scene. This is not a gonzo movie, mind you, but the pacing is certainly gonzo, as there’s nearly no explanation for what happens next. Jacqueline Brooks and Tom Byron phone it in if you ask me. Byron has little to no chemistry with Brooks, and it shows. The return of the super zoom is found here, and I wanted to bang my head into a wall. The director made some terrible choices here, and the music, and overall scene is just awkward.

If you have bucket list for viewing porno actors doing it, you may have Traci Lords and Peter North. Well, here you go, it’s what you expect, and it’s quite fascinating to say the least. It’s a serviceable scene, don’t get me wrong, and there are moments that the two do share some sort of chemistry, but if you ask me, Peter North is just in work mode, as he’s a professional, and Traci is just kind of there at times, and then into it at others. The director decided to not use a lot of zoom lenses here, and the picture is clear, with some minor lighting shifts. It’s still gritty, but it’s really just a point of history, more than anything else. If you’re a fan of Peter North, then this is a piece of archival history. The closing sequence here is one for the ages, as far as speed is concerned, but in a rare thing, you don’t get an epic Peter North finish. This was very much a quick romp, and then it was over.

There’s a funny transition to another scene, which is just plot heavy. Tracy Dick shows up to confront a few people, and there’s a bit of comedy work done by Tom Byron. Then you get Peter North discussing a few things with Tracy Dick, and the story of the “stiff” continues. This is awful acting, but what did you expect from a 1985 porno film?

After some interrogation, the movie switches to a lesbian scene. The 1980s had a lot of lesbian sequences, and they always seemed forced. But this one was genuinely interesting for the chemistry that Josephine Carrington and Traci Lords have. If you’re into lesbian sex scenes, this is an interesting one, due only because of the chemistry that the two share. Otherwise, it’s not that great. They do the “scissoring” thing again, and I recall South Park doing a segment about this type of thing. I don’t know if this is common or not, but for 1985, perhaps it’s a good feeling thing? I don’t know, I’m not an expert here, I’m just trying to make sense of the movie.

The story continues, but you know, it’s not even that great, I have no clue where the whole thing is going, and the story gets thrown out for a final threesome. This one features Tiffany Blake, Marc Wallace, and Tom Byron. The trio have sex on a couch, and it’s not a terrible scene, but it’s very much “work mode” for the trio. Tom Byron’s always interesting to watch, and his youthful looks reminds me of Mark Wahlberg from “Boogie Nights”. Tiffany Blake does a double penetration here, and that’s the point where things get a little interesting, as she seems to lose herself in the moment for a moment, but honestly, other than that, this is just an average scene with a DP finish.

That’s the end of the movie, by the way. If you stick around for the credits, you’ll notice the names of the characters include Tracy Dick, Arthur Dork, Mimi Furst, Angela Magnet, Maid, Out Patient 1 and Out Patient 2, alongside gaffers, makeup, art direction, still photography and more. Jell Productions copyright ends it, and that’s it. You get a 81 minute feature that is not going to win any awards.

I give “Tracy Dick” a 2 out of 5.

The movie was fine. The best part of it was the music. There’s a lot of music with saxophone, so it’s firmly in the 1980s genre. Other than that, the theme song was funny, and the movie had some interesting points, and plot that seemed to move into sex scenes, but other than that, it’s awful. The lighting sucked, the editing was tough, and the zoom elements made me want to quit watching anything transferred from a VHS tape.

You can find “Tracy Dick” in the United States from imported sources, VHS tapes from the past, magazines, and other random areas.

Did you see “Tracy Dick”? If so, drop me a line in the comments.

New Wave Hookers (1985) Review

New Wave Hookers (1985) Re-Release Edition Cover

Well, now here’s a very popular movie that you may already have seen, or haven’t seen, I don’t know what the person reading this will think. However, if you are going to consider the most famous of adult movies, and you do not consider “New Wave Hookers” as one of them, then you’re truly missing out on something grand. This is one of the most controversial movies ever put to hardcore cinema, and the way it is shot, I can truly say that this was meant to be seen in movie theaters. You truly needed to be sitting in a red cloth cushioned seat, and your feet stuck to the ground with bubble gum, soda stains, and cum from the previous patron of the theater that you’re in. This is a movie that changed the industry in some ways, and it brought to light Ginger Lynn and Traci Lords once again. It’s a film, that has been written about by a lot of people, and has been released not once, but twice overall. In fact, you are going to wonder why you don’t have this in your collection, and honestly, I thought about that myself when I first saw this. This spawned a lot of sequels, all of which I will be reviewing, but to start things off, we are going back to 1985 to see what is going on with the original edit of “New Wave Hookers”, because that’s the one everyone wants, and that’s the one I picked up while I was in Europe. You cannot buy the original edit in the United States, but the only major thing that is different is that Traci Lords is NOT in the edited version. She plays the devil, and boy, oh boy, you’re going to love it if you’re a fan. If not, then you are not going to miss much, as the editing is quite good overall. For this review, I’m going to be talking about the original version first, then the edited version second, which isn’t too far and away different.

The story of “New Wave Hookers” is one of great fantasy. Two friends are watching porn and fall asleep. In their dreams, they dream of being pimps and having women as part of their service, and they are all attracted to New Wave Music, becoming aroused and wanting to get some. That is the premise of the movie, and the music was done by The Plugz and The Sockets. The soundtrack to this porno movie is epic in my opinion, and it’s something that is just grand. When this movie came out it premiered in Los Angeles, and it was in front of the world-famous Pussycat Theater, a theater that I got to visit a few times before it was turned into an arthouse cinema place. Of course, I’m talking about the one that was in Santa Monica, but is now just playing art and smaller indie films, if it’s even still there.

New Wave Hookers (1985) Tracy/Traci Lords Edition Poster

The cast of this movie will no doubt bring about a lot of memories for people, and includes Brooke Fields, Desiree Lane, Gina Carrera, Ginger Lynn, Greg Rome, Jack Baker, Jamie Gillis, Kimberly Carson, Kristara Barrington, Peter North, Rick Cassidy, Steve Powers, Steve Drake, and of course Tom “Freakin” Byron. Oh, one last thing, the original edit had Traci Lords playing the devil, and masturbating in red lingerie. This was edited out completely for the re-release in 1986 after the supreme court ruling on her film work. The fifth scene is also removed which featured Traci Lords and Rick Cassidy. The updated version is only 75 minutes long, but the original had a little longer of a run time.

The movie takes some time to set up. It’s not a fast movie at all. In fact, you’re going to find that it’s a little slow, and why not? This was meant to be seen in a movie theater. It feels that way throughout the movie, and I love that about some of the movies I’ve been reviewing thus far. I write that line, but honestly, within 12 minutes, there’s a sex scene, so maybe I’m just romanticizing the movie’s pacing. The first major scene is an odd one, as 3 guys are involve, but only one of them is having sex at first, before a Debbie Harry looking woman gives one guy a blow job while another does doggy, and another masturbates to it all. This is a punk rock, anarchy scene with New Wave Music, and truly speaks to the era, it’s fascinating to say the least. Although, it’s not very “sexy”.

In another scene, we get a young, and I say young looking Peter North pounding away. But after seeing a few movies where he’s a star, it’s interesting to see that he’s not that into it at times. In this movie he’s ok, he’s doing his thing, but he doesn’t seem to be that into it, or perhaps the chemistry is not really there. He seems to literally be “working”, which always throws me off a little. Don’t get me wrong, he is performing, and there is a sensuality to his work in this movie, but it’s obvious that he’s concentrating, and really in “work” mode, more than having fun. At least that’s what I get from this movie, and some of his other work, and perhaps that’s why he is in so many movies, because he is a professional, which is fine.

If you’re a fan of Ginger Lynn, then you’ll love her makeup and her performance here. She enters into the frame after some time and goes fully into her scene with double penetration. The DP element in this is sexy, and raw, and Ginger looks to be absolutely having fun, while the two guys seem to be enjoying the process as well. The editing and lighting here is good, with visuals that let you see everything, although there is a few funny shots of balls hanging around. Ginger has a way of making the scene look sexy, and not “raunchy” and it’s a true fantasy that I loved from this film. She has something grand in this scene where she’s wearing yellow heels, and I’m just impressed, and a little turned on.

New Wave Hookers (1985) Tracy/Traci Lords Edition Poster

The next scene is somewhat forgettable, featuring a new comer to the porn arena for me, I didn’t recognize her, but the two main characters get to share her in their pimp office. I kid you not, it’s a pimp office. It’s not a bad scene, but I had the feeling that the movie really was trying to have some filler because after this one, on the original edit, you’d get the scene that would be deleted, and that is featuring Traci Lords and Rick Cassidy. Don’t get me wrong, the foursome that occurs before that features some good overall sex, but it just isn’t as good, but it still features some punk, ethos. If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I mean, as there’s a “punk” element of editing to the movie, and eventual money shot across a lot of hair. This is not a joke. Although, in a weird sequence, the three guys wipe the cum all over the woman’s face, and she seems to have loved it. I don’t know, it’s a performance, right? I guess so.

For those that have the original edit of this video, you either bought it when it was first released, saw it in theaters and pirated it, or you bought it in Europe, Japan, or other countries. It is not available in the United States, at least not at retail. Maybe at auction? Traci Lords has another porn scene, and if you’re a fan of hers, then you will most likely enjoy this one. She is dressed as the devil, and Rick Cassidy takes time to rim quite a bit, alongside other oral elements. This is a scene that really is a textbook on how to treat a lover if you ask me, which you didn’t. Give her pleasure, forget yourself, and she’ll return. Lords does turn things around, with long black boots, amidst fog, a white bed, and her trademark hair and screams. This is not a marathon scene mind you, and the transitions are changed, so you see missionary to other positions, to doggy style without the in between. Rick goes all the way in here, and just continues until he’s 100% done and the money shot is on Lords’ back and that’s it. This is not a long scene, mind you, but when it is cut, it definitely has a missing element. The edited version is still good, but it definitely is missing this scene after the fact, and you’ll only know if you saw the original like I did.

New Wave Hookers (1985) Re-Release Edition Back Cover

The end sequences that come after the hour mark has some artistic merit. The guys run into another room, and as they go there, there’s a merry-go-round of 3 women spinning, with red, and black. They are dressed in torn up shirts, and heels, and the guys come in and enjoy the ending of this movie which is nothing sort of a sexual spin. It’s an artistic way of having an orgy, no doubt, but the lighting and dare I say, the amount of pubic hair may turn you off. This ends and our two heroes get up from their slumber, only to move forward to one last escapade, in the real world. This time featuring Ginger Lynn, and it’s not half bad. The film ends with one guy going outside and driving around, eventually meeting the girl of his dreams, a hooker, and that’s it.

“New Wave Hookers” is one of those classic movies that collectors have in their homes. It was originally on the big screen, and it featured Traci Lords. After her movies were thrown out, Ginger Lynn became the cover girl, and you know what? Lords isn’t that missed if you ask me. Lynn has one hell of a scene, and her makeup and heels are on point, as well as the way she moves, and makes things look so alluring. This is a movie that features some great new wave music, and some hot scenes, although the premise is in fact funny. It’s a serviceable porn movie, no doubt, and one that you may want to pick up.

I give “New Wave Hookers” a 3 out of 5 for the original, and a 3 out of 5 for the edited version.

You can buy “New Wave Hookers” in a lot of venues like here, and it’s not a terrible movie to watch. I’ve seen far worse. It’s got a nice plot, has some great music, and Ginger Lynn makes it worth your time.

Did you see “New Wave Hookers”? Let me know in the comments below.

Those Young Girls (1984) Review

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Traci I Love You (1987) Review

Traci I Love You DVD/VHS Cover

One of the rabbit holes that I went down in the past few days, trying to set up stuff for this blog was looking into Traci Lords. I already knew her story, but I went deep into all of the different angles, and am not convinced that she was able to fool so many people. But that’s my take on it, and not necessarily the official word, because of course, there’s a lot of better writers that have discussed the topic. What I do know, is that the internet has exploded with all sorts of versions of her work, and depending on your moral compass, you can see her in many features, some of which I may talk about in the near future, as I was able to get a copy of “Those Young Girls”, featuring Ginger Lynn. I love Ginger, she’s been a crush of mine for years, but apparently Traci as Tracy Lords is in it too. I also was able to see a rare clip of Ron Jeremy and Traci Lords, and well, it’s odd to see Ron so skinny, but times change, and we all gain weight, maybe not as much as Ron, though.

For those that don’t know, Traci Lords was able to get out from under the thumb of pornographic cinema by forming her own company, and then producing 3 movies, and selling the rights for a cool 100K. In her book, she claimed that it was the only thing that she could think of to get out from under the oppression of the adult film industry. Well, good for her, that’s cool, right? Depends on what you believe about the situation.

Fast forward to “Traci, I Love You” from 1987, and you’re going to find that this movie is one of the movies that was shot under her company’s moniker. I was able to watch “Traci Takes Tokyo”, which was laughable in the way that it was produced, but had some interesting set pieces. I did not see “Bevery Hills Copulator”, which was released in 1986, but I’m sure I’ll run into it eventually. “Traci, I Love You” was shot on video, and it shows, and as some French film reviewers have noted, it’s perhaps her most boring work. I tend to agree with some of the notions that people have in regard to this one, as there are a lot of moments that make no sense, but then again, it’s a porno, right?

“Traci, I Love You” is shot like a news report at times, mostly documentary style. There is a man obsessed with her, trying to track her down in France. Meanwhile, she is just enjoying the sights, going to the beach, and just hanging out. There’s a lot of camera work doing B-shots, and random things, nothing of which is what you’d expect from a full-length movie. Eventually, Traci’s character is kidnapped, and taken to an undisclosed location, where she meets some lovely women, and begins the sexual romp that you would expect from dirty movies. The performances are uninspired, honestly, and you can see Traci looking at the camera, and taking direction to be more “into it” at times. At least from some of the scenes, until the end.

DVD Edition From France, I Think

The movie stars Alban Ceray, Marilyn Jess, Alain L’Yle, Traci Lords, and Gabriel Pontello. However, there are other people in non-sexual roles, and much more. Either way, this was her swan song, and it’s fascinating that the final shot involves her taking off her panties, opening her legs, and showing off for one last time. There is a blooper reel at the end, shifting to a light hearted, albeit hardcore film with an interesting premise, albeit still hardcore in many ways. Lovers of all natural, no shaving, classic adult movies will feel like they have traveled back in time, because this is NOT new school in any sense of the word.

The final sequences in this film has Traci nearly tied to a bed, and she screams, goes nuts, and makes you wonder if she’s just giving it all because it’s her final performance, or if she’s really enjoying the process of filming. Going back to the beginning, however, I do like how she bends over, in high heels, on a rug and takes her man standing up. She scoots her legs out, pushing her 5’8” frame all the way down, and allows her lover to enjoy every thrust, while she seems to be more concentrated on not falling over. It’s a unique visual, but one that doesn’t bode well for her, as she doesn’t seem to be enjoying it at various moments, or at least that’s how it comes across on film.

From what I understand, Caballero was able to distribute the movie on VHS and early DVD versions are popping up here and there, but that was all done in 1998. Traci got mad at Amazon for selling her movies, and magazines, but if you look closely, it’s not Amazon, but rather individual sellers.

“Traci, I Love You” is an interesting final movie in a way. There are moments that are hot, no doubt, especially if you want to see Traci (legally) take on multiple cocks, a dildo, and eventually get a nice load on the small of her back. She seems into it at times, and at others it looks very “business” heavy. It was only turned on a few times, and it was mainly when she appeared to be more focused on her partners than the camera, or anything else. Perhaps that’s telling, as this is legal, and the end of her career. I don’t know.

Overall, “Traci, I Love You” has grainy VHS transfer all over it. The sound is mono at best, the lighting is dark at times, ultrabright at times, and the camera work leaves a lot to be desired. However, unlike “Traci Takes Tokyo”, there’s no body doubles, and there is just straight forward sex scenes that are obviously not reshot, and just straight through. Two days in France really did a lot to help Lords cement her legacy, as this was it folks.  It’s serviceable if you’re a fan or a collector, but honestly, I wouldn’t watch it too often. Unless you’re really into Traci. This is LEGAL, by the way, so you can own it no problem getting it. It was made after Traci Lords turned 18, and it was NOT included in any of the mandated removals, or deletions which were part of a larger rabbit hole that I'm not going to write about at length. But you can read some of it here.

I give “Traci, I Love You” a 3 out of 5. 

You can purchase “Traci, I Love You” on DVD now, by clicking here.

Did you see “Traci, I Love You”? If so, drop me a comment, or don’t, I don’t care. I’m moving on to another review soon.