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| You've Got A Mother Thing Cumming 3 (2009) Cover |
The movie starts with a focus on Stephanie Swift, and she is looking great for her age. She’s a bit older in this movie and yet she still looks as beautiful as ever, with her thin frame, long black hair, and nicely done makeup. She’s a crush that looks amazing, and just lovely, and I don’t know why, but I’d love to interview her.
After the attention is shown on her, she says she is ready to go, and in comes Alan Stafford. Alan and Stephanie Swift start to kiss and make out heavily, taking off their clothes. There’s a slow pace here, and the two get to know each other through kissing first, then head to oral. Stephanie Swift has done a lot of oral scenes by the time you get to this one, and here she’s a bit more sensual than I’ve seen in her other movies, although it’s still great to see her in this light. The set is a warehouse setting, and you can tell that it’s a built porno set with a fake backdrop and all. Alan Stafford is shaved, and so you see the whole thing in light of the high definition camera. He’s built too, and may be a gay performer in another time frame cause he has that type of build. Swift goes all in for her blow job, and then the tables turn and Alan gives her head. There’s no music to this scene, mind you, it’s pure sex. After some oral, the two get familiar on a couch, and they just go forward with no condom, and just sex. Swift moans a great deal, and Alan gets the progress done with lots of rhythm. After several positions on a white couch, Alan can’t hold it in any longer and immediately goes from doggy style to the money shot where he cums on Swift’s face, and that’s that. An adequate scene, with minimal chemistry, and strong sexual essence. It’s a very mechanical looking scene with little to no sweat, and Swift looking like she doesn’t want to be there a few times. If you’re a fan of Swift, you’ll appreciate her body, and work here, but it’s not her best one.
The next scene starts with Kylie Ireland dancing and stripping. At this point in her career, Kylie Ireland is a milf, has a larger frame than her previous rolls, has an arm tattoo, red hair, and looks like your average soccer mom in many ways. Don’t let that stop you, as she is quite sexy here, and in this scene, she meets up with Alex Gonz in a set that is made up like a massage studio. Kylie Ireland gets started with a fast paced blow job to set things in motion, and Alex Gonz immediately starts to get hard and then starts to kiss Ireland a great deal. He’s a bit rough with her, slapping her breasts and leaving marks, and she keeps asking for more. Her nipples and navel are pierced, and she has a sense of sexiness to the whole scene’s start. The two start to engage in sex with doggy style, with Ireland moans a great deal while spouting out lines of dialogue. She seems to enjoy this, and Gonz has some initial chemistry with her, as she gets wet. The two engage in some harder sex moves, and eventually she asks for anal, and he gets a bit rough at her request. This leads to anal after a few minutes, and there’s once again no condom. They go through several positions of sex, and they stay in one area, and as the scene continues the two get more and more involved in the sex, and it’s really a standout scene. Gonz really has chemistry with Ireland and it shows, and after the initial work he cums in her mouth and she licks and spits it out a little, making this one hell of a scene. There’s no music, good lighting, and a lot of chemistry.
The scene ends and we are immediately thrown into another one. This one features a woman named Darryl Hanah and Christian XXX. Darryl Hanah is a tall, thin, blonde haired woman. She looks like an upper class escort, and has long arms, long legs, and a thin frame. The scene starts with Hannah pleasuring herself with a vibrator before Christian shows up. Christian XXX comes into the picture and Darryl Hanah continues with her vibrator and then starts to give him a blow job. This is a very sterile, mechanical sex scene with the two not really having a lot of chemistry, she doesn’t get that wet, and while the performances are adequate, it’s mechanical until the hour and 15 minute mark when Hannah really starts to get into it. Maybe it’s just a slow starting point, I don’t know. After a while she gets back up to suck and things progress a little more. She keeps looking at the camera, which throws me off, but she has beautiful eyes, which is nice to look at. Christian XXX isn’t huge, mind you, although he’s trimmed, he’s not huge, and Hannah doesn’t make it any bigger or look that great as she goes through the sex. She very much goes through it like an escort, rushed, and through the positions as you would expect, in a one hour session. Not a great scene. The set is a red couch, in a warehouse somewhere, or a house, and there’s no music. It’s a lackluster scene, but it works if you’re in a bind.
The next scene we get into is fast, and it features a woman named Tina Tyler. She has short black hair, and large breasts. She comes into the scene wearing shorts and a pink bra. She’s got pale white skin, and looks like a fourth grade teacher that hasn’t gotten any in a long time. In comes David Perry, and immediately the two start to get to know each other better. Tina Tyler blows David Perry, and instead of music, we just pure sex. Tina Tyler is not shaved at all, so if you like pubic hair, you get a nice look here. The sex gets better as the minutes progress, and heading into the 1 hour and 40 minute mark it reaches a peak, with Tyler really moaning and getting wet, nearly cumming many times, if not cumming all over Perry. She keeps things moving and asks for David to get on top of her, then doggy, and then the two just go through the motions of sex, like if they were lovers for some time. Although there is one line where it seems like she’s an escort, but I will overlook that one. You can hear far noises in doggy, so if you’re a fan of queef sounds, then you’ll like this one as it sounds a great deal through the process of the latter part of the sequence. After a great deal of movement, Perry can’t hold it together and cums on Tyler and that’s that. It’s not a terrible sequence mind you, but it’s definitely a milf scene, that’s the point. No music, good lighting, and Tyler’s pale skin isn’t half bad, and she looks good for her age, and well, I’d probably enjoy it as much as David Perry did here.
Next up we are taken to an interview and striptease from Lola. She’s a tanned, tall brunette with an arm tattoo, pink underwear, and that milf look you’d expect from her. She claims that she likes the empowering nature of being with younger men, and for this scene she ends up with Chris Johnson.
Chris Johnson and Lola start to make out, and the two get friendly together in this final scene for this movie. Again there is no music, and we are taken directly to the sex after the interview. Lola is tanned, and Chris Johnson is thin, tatted, and gets into the action fast. He gets blown, gives oral to Lola and the two hit it off on a red couch in another bedroom warehouse set. The two exchange different positions, there’s no music, just good lighting and frequent movements into the sex. There’s a bit of momentum overall and it’s not half bad to look at, but it’s just not that sexy to me. Lola isn’t really my type, and after watching the previous scene, this just seems a lot more mechanical, and well it kind of is. It ends well enough, and the movie finishes with the credits and that’s it.
I give “You’ve Got A Mother Thing Cumming 3” a 2 out of 5.
As far as modern gonzo movies are concerned, you really must like the players involved. Yes, there are a few good scenes, but overall, I only liked 2 out of the whole thing, and honestly, I would only go back and see one of them. If you really like Kylie Ireland or Stephanie Swift, you’ll appreciate their scenes, other than that, it’s a boring one to watch all the way through, and of course, that’s not what they intended with this release anyway.
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