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| Priceless (1995) Poster |
We start with a narration from Peter North. We see him driving in Los Angeles in a red convertible. He’s a private detective, and he talks about how his business has been quite tough to work with. He states that he doesn’t have a lot of money, and that his office was a crappy place in Hollywood. There’s a bit of film grain on this one, and at times you can see the camera in the opening elements, but overall, you get a good sense of production. It’s about as good as a soap opera. When Peter North’s character arrives at his office in Hollywood, he walks in and there waiting for him is a woman in leopard print workout gear. HE takes his coat off and doesn’t say a word, because this is going to turn into sex, no doubt.
Holly Body and Peter North start to make out at his desk inside a standard office set. Holly Body has medium length hair and is tanned, with large enhanced breasts. She is a good looking California woman with a tan, and a tight body. She isn’t that tall, and complements Peter North quite well overall. He doesn’t get hard right away, but Body starts to get on her knees, disrobes North and starts to blow him within 3 minutes of the movie starting. There’s a smooth jazz soundtrack underneath the sounds of North and Body’s movements. After Body gives North oral for a while, he goes to take her clothing off, and reveals that she has black heels on to make her look taller. They get on his desk and he starts to move down her body. At the 6 minute mark it sounds like someone farts, and Body breaks character, which is a funny blooper to see. She’s not completely shaved, trimmed, and has just a landing strip that’s been manicured a bit. North goes in for oral, and the music intensifies as you hear the two moan a bit as they go through the preliminary motions of sex. North enters Boddy slowly, and it’s apparent that she’s either not wet, or she’s really tight and he’s very large. Either way, he starts slowly and then carries on faster at the desk. After some time there, they move to a brown couch and Body’s extra large breasts hang out as she rides on top of North. She’s not that loud, and North moans a bit more than she does. There’s no condoms here, and the music is quite compelling, looping like a video game as the two have sex in a damp office. This is a slow moving sex scene, mind you, neither one sweating it, and just going through the motions of sex. It gave me half a chub at one point, but that’s because Holly Body is quite gorgeous. The two go through a few positions before Peter North delivers a world famous money shot all over Body’s breasts. It’s a quality load and honestly the best part of this sex scene. Body and North just didn’t seem to have a lot of chemistry is all, but it’s a workable scene none the less.
The scene ends and the two start to put their clothes on. Holly Body reminds me of Tiffany Amber Theisen. It turns out that she’s an escort. Jenna Jameson shows up at the office and begins to talk to Peter North about how she needs some help with an investigation. Jenna is a horrible actress, of course. North is a far better actor here, and that’s a testament to the length of time he’s been in the business. Jenna of course is young, tight, and thin. She comes in with a bright green business suit on, with a mini skirt that lets her legs show off. She comes in and asks for North to investigate that she is innocent of killing her boss. She says she has no money, and that if she’s found innocent she will pay him. North then agrees to take the gig, and the two start to talk about the bigger plot. This is a fully plot driven movie, mind you. The two talk and the director shows up two women talking on a couch, and then we hear that they were all part of a larger story in which they were going to get a promotion alongside Jameson’s character, and that some wanted it more than others.
The scene shifts and we see Misty Rain, Roxanne Hall, and Tony Tedeschi engaged in oral sex. Tony is wearing sunglasses while the two women double up on his penis. Roxanne Hall and Misty Rain are both brunettes and they both have a great deal of make up on. The cameras goes in deep on what they are doing, and it almost looks surreal, like it’s too close, but the women seem to really like what they are doing, and Tony is not complaining of course. I’m surprised he didn’t blow his load during this sequence, as I’d probably have been through the roof a few times. Hall and Rain both are starts in their own rights, with firm bodies, tanned, dark eyes, luscious lips, completely shaved, and really loud throughout. They moan a great deal as they take turns getting action from Tony. Tony Tedeschi is an allstar, getting hadr quickly, and entering both women at separate times while even dishing out oral on one at one point as well. This is a sequence of three people that seem to actually like what they are doing, and the chemistry seems real as the three engage in sex. The moaning reaches a bit orchestral points at around 30 minutes, and one has to wonder if they aren’t just playing it up, but hey, it’s porno right? After some back and forth, going between women and normal sex, the camera fades a bit and we go to the money shot where Tony delivers a load onto the chest of one of the women and that’s the end of this scene. A good sequence, with the camera very close to the action all the time, and not really straying away from it, which is a bit odd considering. You could barely see the set.
We go back to Jenna Jameson and Peter North talking and getting the story forward. We see Tony in glasses and a gun appears, and boom, Tony’s dead. Peter North and Jenna discuss more about the case and it seems like Jameson is going to be going to jail. But North accepts the case and we start to get back into the action.
Peter North drives to a random apartment in Hollywood. He drives a red convertible, and narrates the next step. The apartment complex is your standard Hollywood location, nothing crazy, just an apartment complex with screen doors, long staircases, and doors that face the outside world. We go from the exterior to the interior and it looks like a showroom floor for a furniture shop. Peter North goes in with a trench coat and starts to grill what I assume is Misty Rain. She then talks about how she had sex with Jenna Jameson, and we cut to their lesbian sex that occurred one day. (Remember this is a murder mystery)
The scene shifts and we are shown candlelight on a set with a green and beige couch. It’s striped, and the women here wear lingerie. The two women are Misty Rain and Jenna Jameson kissing and rubbing up against each other for lesbian sex. The lighting is great here, and the sequence isn’t half bad. The two have stellar chemistry together and great technique. One thing that men can learn from these lesbian scenes sometimes is how to perform oral. It’s not fast and to the point, it’s slow, it teases, and moves a great deal around the body of the woman. Jenna shakes, contracts, moans, and even screams at one point. If you’re a fan of hers you’ll love the back and forth that she has with Misty Rain as the two really get into the role here, and the camera is just there to capture it all. It’s definitely one of the better non-toy lesbian sex scenes that I’ve seen in a long time. Of course, I take that notion back because at the 43 minute mark or so there’s a double headed dildo introduced and the two share it, which is quite the visual. The music is a smooth jazz loop, and the lighting is great altogether, making this scene quite enjoyable for the stars and the audience alike. This goes on for a while, and then we fade back to the interview with North and Rain.
After the meeting we go with Jenna Jameson and Peter North to the Psychic Eye business. It’s in Hollywood and the two are in broad daylight. They simply park and go into the psychic’s place of work and we go inside to see what’s going on. Jenna Jameson doesn’t want to go through with the fortune reading, and she ends up having to deal with it. Peter North cajoles her to do it, and she obliges.
We go into the psychic’s area and we end up seeing a film noir element. Jenna Jameson and Peter North are in jail, with a black and white showcase. This is the best part of the movie, and the two act really well. I’m shocked at how well this scene was shot, and the jail set. Jenna Jameson, acts very well here, and I am surprised. I loved it. The throwback to cinema noir is fascinating. After reading Jameson’s palm, the psychic states that North didn’t save Jameson in a past life. The two leave the Psychic’s office and North narrates some more, pushing the rest of the movie’s plot a bit. What’s funny is that at the 52 minute mark, we see a man looking at them, and he’s smoking, and doesn’t even realize that it’s Peter North and Jenna Jameson in front of him. Funny how that works.
The scene moves back to Peter North, and he narrates. He talks about the past, and shows that a murder occurred in the past and the woman looks exactly like Jenna Jameson. It turns out that the psychic was right! Such a cool tie in. I should’ve grabbed some popcorn at this point because the plot was thickening, and the sex was secondary to the plot of this movie. If you’re really into plot based movies, then hell, this is going to work well for you because it’s not all about the sex, and there’s a lot of plot and narration that you have to get through to finish this one.
Peter North returns to the psychic. The psychic says that North has to wait so that he can finish reading someone’s fortune. He talks to Jonathan Morgan. Jonathan Morgan is funny character actor in porn. The psychic tells him that he may not live to enjoy the money that he has garnered. The psychic says that he’s going to meet a dark haired woman and they are going to get it on. Then comes in a heavy bass line, and a jazzy beat, because we are going to get some sex. Meanwhile, Peter North is in the waiting room, but hey, who cares, right?
Sophia Ferrari plays the psychic here. I forgot to mention that earlier. Anyways, she disrobes in front of Jonathan Morgan and the two are destined to have sex on the psychic’s table. Jonathan Morgan and Sophia Ferrari start with oral, and she moans with delight as he goes in for oral. Sophia Ferrari is a latino woman, has a bit of trimmed pubic hair, black hair, an accent, and breast implants. She’s loud, and really moves with Jonathan’s movements here. After she gives him a bit of oral, and really gets wet, we see things progress to sex. It should be noted that at the 58 minute mark, Morgan isn’t all the way hard, as though he came already, but he stays in the scene anyway. This is a weird director’s decision, but we’ll go with it I guess. The scene keeps switching between the sex and Peter North in the waiting room. After some time, Ferrari and Morgan start to have sex on the table of the psychic, and they go through a few positions. It’s standard sex, with just a few moans here and there rather than the loud starting line. They seem to lack real chemistry, and Ferrari is just going through the motions of sexual intercourse. Morgan of course is a good guy here, so he delivers, but overall this scene lacks a bit of chemistry. At a certain point there’s anal, and that lasts a bit, with Morgan really diving into the role. The anal aspect is interesting to look at, but eventually he finishes on Ferrari’s tongue and she licks it up, and that’s the end. She spits it out on herself, and that’s it. The scene ends and we go back to the front where Peter North is waiting.
In the psychic’s office we go back to the past. We again see a noir scene with Jenna Jameson and Peter North and the two discuss a different case. A time when Jameson’s husband was cheating on her. North narrates and he discusses the case at the time. We go back and forth to North and the psychic and it’s fascinating to see. This plot driven movie goes into the cinema noir, hard boiled detective case. He describes a case of love at first sight, and how the two ended up in a car making out. This is where we see Jenna Jameson and Peter North making out in a cinema noir style focused scene. They stop themselves before they have sex, and while North narrates, we get more of the story from the 1940s.
While in the psychic’s office we once again go to the past, after a transition to the present where North proclaims his love for Jenna’s character. In the past, we hear a saxophone play and some keys and drums before Jenna walks into a room and sees her husband cheating on her.
In a throwback to cinema noir, we see a complete black and white scene featuring Krista Maze and Steven St. Croix having sex. Krista Maze is a thin, natural breasted, brunette, and St. Croix is a mainstay in porn from the 1990s. Krista Maze reminds me of the girls that used to frequent Santa Monica malls when I was a teenager. Jenna’s character watches this all go on as the saxophone goes wild, and it’s an interesting music choice to the sex. The sex starts slowly, with oral between both performers. This is a very sensual and slow moving starting line. No condoms used here, and St. Croix’s signature speed picks up at around the one hour and 15 minute mark. The two have good chemistry, having sex on a table in a restaurant. There’s authentic sounds of sex, and beads of sweat forming on the two as they go through the motions of different positions. On a bar stool, after some time, St. Croix goes in hard and you really see Krista Maze cum, right before St. Croix pulls out and cums on her pubic region, which is nearly all shaved. It’s a scene that is quite good, and the two have great chemistry.
We then get more narration from Peter North. We hear more of the story and he visits the apartment from earlier with Misty Rain. He uncovers the case! He points at Roxanne Hall, and then goes through the motions of his best “Columbo” routine, asking just one more question. He acts very well here while the women aren’t that great, just standing there and receiving the information. After this we transition to another scene.
Here we find Peter North and Jenna Jameson at an alley behind a night club. The same one where the original murder occurred from the 1940s. North talks to Jameson’s character about the bigger issue, and then he tells her about how he figured out the case and much more. The two talk on the hood of his car, and she reaches in and kisses north.
Peter North and Jenna Jameson start to make out on the hood of a car in an alley with bright lights and an interesting motif. These two have a little chemistry together, and it’s certainly a good overall sex scene. If you’re a fan of Jameson, then you’ll know that it takes her a little while to start cumming and getting really into the sex. In this one, she doesn’t get all in until the two get on the floor for doggy in which Jameson starts to really scream. North’s cardio helps him here because he does a majority of the work and doesn’t even break a sweat. After a lengthy session Jameson pushes her breasts together and he cums on her. The two kiss, as he cums a load on her and the film fades to black, and we see the credits role. There’s not much to be said about this one, it’s a good ending scene, and the two seem to get into the sex towards the end, while at the beginning it’s a bit mechanical overall. It’s an interesting little romantic, plot driven gem with some interesting photography, noir elements, and Jameson’s acting in the jail cell makes it worth it. The photos from this shoot are incredible, mind you, and it’s fascinating to see how beautiful Jameson can be in the still shots when she’s not engaged in sex.
I give “Priceless” a 5 out of 5.
After mulling it over, I have to say that this is the perfect type of porno movie for my personal tastes. It’s plot driven, attention is given to that aspect, and the sex is better than most. The opening scene alone is quite good, but there’s an enhancement of talent that goes through the film, until we get to that ending scene where Jameson and North really do well together. While the sex isn’t super long at times, it still has enough function to make this worth checking out.
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