 |
| Anal Professor (1996) DVD Cover |
The opening shows a scientist with a bubbling liquid, stating that he’s found something amazing, and that he now has to go and apply to the FDA for approval. He hands a beaker to his assistant, played by Missy, and then runs off.
Within seconds, Missy sees Mickey G and Steve Hatcher and decides to disrobe. The three start to kiss, and they start heading for a hospital bed that is conveniently located near the lab. They then start to take off their clothes, and start oral. Missy wears black lingerie, is a dirty blonde, has beautiful eyes, small breasts, and has a garter belt attached to stockings, and heels. She’s not shaved, but rather trimmed, and gets very wet for Mickey G to start. From there the scene just goes straight into sex with Mickey G starting things off and then Steve Hatcher getting a turn, no one using condoms for this scene. True to the title, there is some anal towards the end of this opening sequence. They both enter slowly, separately, and Missy moans with pleasure as both guys take turns with anal sex. At the 15 minute mark, however, this turns into a DP on Missy. Mickey G and Steve Hatcher DP Missy, and she seems to enjoy it for the most part, moaning and nearly screaming at one point. If you’re a fan of DP, here’s a scene for you, as it certainly is stellar in movement and work rate. Missy even asks to get choked at one point, which is rare for me on this blog, but it works well enough. The double continues until both guys start to finish and then they give you a money shot, all on Missy’s face, which isn’t terrible, but lacks the “quantity” that you’d expect from this type of finish. The music was the best part here. The guys here aren’t huge, and they aren’t shaved, but are cut, so that’s something, right?
After the sex scene, 4 scientists start talking about how this new formula will change all sex and desire forever. They call for a nurse, as three of the people are skeptical. They call in China Lee and tell the nurse that they have some Kool Aid for her to drink, and of course she goes for it. This of course causes her to get hyper sexual, and then, have a foursome with them.
Once the woman drinks, she wants to do all of the scientists, which never happens in real life, mind you. The scene then gets into the sex right away, even though the guys aren’t even hard yet. This scene features China Lee, Dave Hardman, Kyle Stone, Rick Masters, and Steve Hatcher. They all have lab coats, and start to undress. It’s a weird scene at first, because none of the guys are hard, and China Lee is trying to help them by sucking them off, but it is a lot of lukewarm response, with the exception of one guy who gets hard and then immediately goes into China Lee. She’s not wet or anything, but he goes forward, while the other guys are getting harder as she sucks on them. One guy is left out of camera frame for the most part, and he’s not hard at all, trying to get it up and looking painfully obvious that he’s not ready. Meanwhile the camera keeps going back to the sex, and China Lee starts to get wet, allowing the scene to progress a bit more. She moans a little, but not nearly as much as you’d expect. The set is a scientist’s office, with chalkboard and all. At around 36 minutes, there is a DP on China Lee and she seems to enjoy it, talking about how it feels good and moaning a bit louder. Meanwhile, the other guys are not hard, and they are seen trying to get erect, which is a sour spot for this scene. Overall, however, it works, and China Lee takes on two men in her at once for a good while taking turns between a few anal insertions. There is a DP in one hole at one point, with two in her anus, which I haven’t seen and reviewed for this blog yet, which is an interesting sight to see. This is normal now, but back then, it wasn’t as normal. It’s an interesting showcase, and well, I can’t speak to the pleasure, but it's hardcore. The show ends with China Lee taking money shots from the guys, and that’s the end.
The scene abruptly ends, then you get pushed into another moment in time. It starts with Nina Cherry drinking from a red solo cup and saying that she’s very horny. Then out come 3 science dorks, and sing, “hello”, before she takes off all of her clothes. Nina Cherry has vinyl boots on and has long hair, breast implants, and tanned skin. She looks a bit like China Lee, only a bit more Latin. This scene features Nina Cherry, Dave Hardman, Rick Masters, and Steve Hatcher. This is the same set as before. But instead of having four guys, there’s just three. But the same problem that plagued the other scene plagues this one, where only one guy seems to be getting hard, and the others are just not that into this process. It’s painfully obvious, until one guy finally just tries insertion, and the director has to cut and realign the shot. The cut is harsh, and then returns to Nina Cherry riding the only guy that is hard for this scene, and it’s not bad. She gets on top and goes for it, while the other guys just watch and try to get hard. This is a sad scene if you ask me, with lackluster music, and the fact that two guys can’t get it up. At around the 59 minute mark, however, things start to progress and all the guys start taking turns with anal, then get into a DP. The DP isn’t bad, but it’s far from good, as Nina Cherry moans through it, and just takes a lot of movement. It looks ok, and if you’re a fan of her than you’ll love to see her in this. One dude kept slipping out of anal, and the director moved to not show the blunders. This ends up with three guys finishing on Nina Cherry and that’s it. It’s a lackluster scene.
After this scene, we see one of the scientists outside with a jar of the secret potion. He wants to throw it away since it is dangerous to use. But he is convinced to not do so. The two walk back inside and there’s Stacy Valentine. She’s wearing a sun dress and just watches the two argue, until they give the girl a drink. This leads to sex, and it’s the main event, so to speak.
Stacy Valentine, Jonathan Morgan, and Steve Hatcher start to make out, and it’s a better scene than all of the others. The guys get hard immediately, and Stacy Valentine immediately goes for a blow job. She looks younger here, she doesn’t have her second breast implant surgery, and she seems enthused for the most part. There’s not a lot of foreplay with this scene, at around 1 hour and 8 minutes, one of the guys goes doggy style and Stacy sucks off another guy. She gets wet by using her fingers, and getting plowed to start. The smooth jazz has a strong bass line as she moans and the guys continue to build up a sweat. This is a scene that has a bit of gusto to it, and it shows that she definitely starts getting off by it, as she cums and tightens her body up when she does, as there are no condoms again. She’s trimmed not shaved, and this scene moves swiftly. Since it’s the final scene, there’s no filler here, and it is straight hardcore. The trio have sex on an orange couch, and one of the guys looks like Anders from “Workaholics”, which is kind of funny. The two dudes stay very hard, and Swift sweats through this one, until the two go for a DP. There’s an interesting moment at around 1 hour and 15 minutes where one of the guys is playing with Stacy Valentine’s clitoris and starts to do it with heavy fingers and you see her move his hands. It’s a weird blooper. He does this as he goes into her with anal. She stops him and then the camera switches angles. It’s a weird blooper. We go from a sweaty Stacy Valentine to a totally dry one, as the guys go back into anal, and then the main event, Stacy Valentine double penetration. That’s right, Stacy Valentine DP starts at around one hour and 17 minutes or so, and the two go all in with this one. This is a hardcore scene, but the director focuses on Stacy’s face and the insertions. She is not that into it, and it shows. I’m not sure why. She moans a bit, but she looks back at the camera as if the director is telling her something and she just kind of goes through the motions. After some time in this, the guys start jerking it and eventually finish on her face, and that’s it. Stacy Valentine gets two loads, and the movie goes to credits. I must say, she’s beautiful here, and if you erased the two dicks that are about to cum, you’d have one hell of a portrait of a lovely lady. Oh wait, this is porn, so you can’t erase that. They cum on her face, and that’s the end.
I give “The Anal Professor” a 2 out of 5.
The only reason I’d watch this, and I’m not sure that I will again is for the Stacy Valentine DP scene. That’s about it. Other than that, the premise is funny, but the execution isn’t that grand. It’s not a long movie, and it does have a good plot to it, but man, it’s not that fun to watch. I think I liked the idea of the movie more than the actual scenes. With only 4 scenes, and Stacy Valentine’s double penetration, this gets a 2 out of 5, but that’s about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment