Lust In The Fast Lane (1984) Review

Lust In The Fast Lane (1984) Poster 

Stepping back into our time machine we are going back to a controversial subject. We are going to be talking about a movie that came out in 1984. While in Japan, I was able to procure a copy of “Lust In The Fast Lane”, and after giving some time to the idea, I’ve decided to review it today. What’s the big deal about this movie? Well, it stars a lot of 1980s stars, including Traci Lords. Now, whether you want to argue with the fact that this movie was made at a certain time in Lords life, or if it’s illegal is up to you. We’ve reviewed LEGAL copies of these movies in the past, and since I purchased this in Japan, I purchased a LEGAL copy of this, and will be reviewing it as such. So let’s go back to 1984, and discuss “Lust In The Fast Lane”, which was later released and edited to not have Traci Lords in it. The stars of the original site included Ginger Lynn, Tom Byron, Crystal Breeze, Traci Lords, Eric Edwards, Peter North, Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Sheri St. Clair, Marc Wallice, and David Sanders. This was originally shown in porno movie theaters and the film grain is completely there, so you’ll note that it is made for theaters, and that includes the story, transitions, and film quality. If you are in Europe, or anywhere else where Traci Lord videos are legal to purchase, or you run into something online, then perhaps, you will want to know whether or not this movie is worth checking out for review or pleasure. The movie is directed by Adam, and it was released by Pink Visuals.

The first thing that comes through is that Tom Byron and Traci Lords are a couple. They want to go somewhere for the weekend. Byron says, let’s get into the car and just go somewhere. Lords says she doesn’t know where to go or where to stay, and well, Byron is all about going out, so the two leave their kitchen, get into a car, and venture off on the road. On the road, the car that they are in breaks down and they have to walk. They end up walking to a random house. In the house they see a random guy that is nude, and a woman in a swimsuit. The couple tell them that the nearest gas station is 15 miles away, and that they should stick around, and stay the night. Lords keeps saying that they don’t want to disturb anyone, and that’s fine. The couple have walked into a home that is very much a swingers house. Everyone is introduced, and they are instructed to just enjoy themselves, and that’s when things go forward with a little sexual encounter to start.

The camera fades and we are taken to doggy style sex and it’s Tom Byron and Ginger Lynn. There’s a deep bass guitar riff happening, and we see Byron getting it on with Lynn, meanwhile, we see a shift to see Crystal Breeze, Traci Lords and Eric Edwards having sex as well. So we see juxtaposition with both sex scenes going on at the same time. I hate how these things work, but I get it. This movie was meant for you to see it in theaters, therefore the sex is cut and edited to show two different scenarios, and they are both quite good overall, but it’s difficult to get a chub going as a result. However, it’s a steady focused sexual film with moaning, movement, sweat, and a rock instrumental. No one is shaved, no one is wearing condoms, and the set looks like some random house in the valley somewhere. There’s not much more that can be said about this, the juxtaposition sucks, going back and forth between sex partners is stupid, and I don’t like how that’s done in the 1980s. However, as far as the literal sex is concerned, it’s fun to see these starts of the past just do it, without having to complicate anything, and if you’re a fan of Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn, you’ll love this opening sex scene as things really work very well. We get two money shots and to the body, and that’s about it.

The sex stops and we see the couples sitting on an old couch. Things are just quiet, before we see the scene change. The scene changes to show Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn sitting on a bed. The lighting is a bit good, and the lens moves in to see the two women start to make out. Soft music starts to play, and it’s a very romantic start to a sexual romp between Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn. The two start to get into the sex, going with oral, scissoring, and getting close together. They move around a great deal and start to moan a bit, enjoying the process of sex, before we see a man join them. After a while of the two enjoying the process of lesbian sex, Peter North shows up, and he’s hard. The two kiss while Peter North masturbates until he cums on their faces. This is a very unique little sequence at around 23 minutes. North really goes hard here, and cums a lot on the two, it’s even done in slow motion to show off the art of the sexual element. There’s a little sexual component to this, at one point it looks as though Ginger Lynn gets doggy style but it’s not a long sex scene with North involved. Lords doesn’t get involved with the sex, other than getting oral.

We move next to a den and there’s Tom Byron and 3 women. The host says that the ladies will have a good idea as to what to do next, and that’s when they get nude. Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Shery St. Clair, and Tom Byron start to have sex here. It’s a four some that starts with Byron getting blown soft, and it appears to be a struggle for him to get hard even though he has 4 women on him. The women are all brunettes, all natural, curvy, and look a bit older. Byron looks so young here, and eventually he gets hard enough to have sex. It’s obvious that he’s not that into the women here, and while the music starts to get louder, the moaning comes through as well, and it’s interesting to see this scene. It’s a bit awkward, but eventually Byron gets into it, even though the women are over acting. Eventually, Byron gives a money shot and that’s the end.

The scene switches and we get a little interlude between Tracy Lords and Tom Byron before we are taken to another part of the house.

The next part of the house features Sheri St. Clair, David Sanders, Marc Wallice, and Peter North. Sheri St. Clair has large natural breasts, a thin frame, and way too much makeup to make her look a little younger than she is. She’s got a full bush, has long curly brunette hair, and it’s interesting to see her here. She gives the guys a blow job here, and they aren’t that hard. It’ funny to see the dudes struggling and eventually getting harder. Peter North especially is not hard, as St. Clair tries to put two penises in her mouth, and they are not that hard. It’s funny to compare size here. The rock music is good here. The men go forward with having sex, and the highlight here is a double penetration point. There’s a DP sequence while St. Clair blows another guy, and it’s not half bad. It’s rare to see DP in these movies, so it’s interesting to see this one, and there’s no condom of course. Eventually all the dudes cum and that’s the end.

We are taken to a patio where Traci Lords and Tom Byron talk, and like to stay a little longer. The two then move to the inside of the house, some romantic saxophone music plays, and we see a shift.

This time around we see Tom Byron and Traci Lords making out in a bubble bath. Lords reaches Byron and starts to blow him. He gets hard fast here, and you can tell that he’s into the process, and has chemistry with Lords. He’s done several scenes with Lords at the time of filming this movie, so it’s known that they are good together. There’s some reciprocating oral before Traci and Tom start to have sex. The sex stars, and you can see that Lords gets wet for Byron, and the two have sex on some tiles while the bubble bath starts to dissipate a little. This is a simple sex scene, doesn’t last too long and eventually gets Byron to cum on Lords’ backside and that’s it. This is a simple sex scene that doesn’t last too long, mind you, and then just ends.

After the sex, we are taken to a hallway where Tom says he needs to get going home, but the host says that there is one last activity that he should stay for, and that’s a group sex scene. Crystal Breeze, Ginger Lynn, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, David Sanders, Eric Edwards, Marc Wallice, Peter North, and Tom Byron engage in an orgy to finish off this movie. I’ve seen plenty of porno movies and different stories that have come from them, and this ending sequence is not that titillating. There’s just too much going on here, and lots of camera switches with different focuses. You don’t really know who’s who here, until you start to get a few shots that pull away from the action. While this is functional, and I know that the people involved are having sex, and for the most part are enjoying the process of filming this scene, you can’t really get that focus that you need to get too excited. The camera is everywhere, doesn’t stick around with many of the couples, and just keeps going forward between everyone having sex. All of the sex ends, and we see Tom Byron say that he’s had enough sex.

After the sex ends, he gets bitten. Then smoke comes through the scene, and the men and women all say that he’s one of them now. They keep saying, “you’re one of us now”, and he’s scared, but he’s been bitten, and you find out that this has been a vampire ritual, and they all have fangs! What a twist ending! Tom Byron has been bitten and we see that he’s now a vampire too! That’s the end of this film, and wow, what a weird twist of fate.

I give “Lust In The Fast Lane” a 3 out of 5.

I would give this less of a score but that ending really got me, and it was interesting to see a porno movie with a twist ending like that. I haven’t witnessed a lot of twists and turns in porno quite like that. As for the sex, it’s ok, Traci Lords is fine in it, nothing special to remember, and the rest of the crew did ok as well. It’s kind of a short porno movie that really doesn’t pick up until the end where things really get wild. If you’re a huge fan of Lords, perhaps you’ll want to get this one, just not in the United States. Other than that, meh, I can’t say much more about this one.