Breeders (1996) Review

Breeders (1996) Poster

Well, here we go again, it’s time to get back into our time machine and look at the 1990s. It’s here that we are going to find out a bit more about a movie that has a lot of stars from the past, and some that you may be familiar with. This time around we are going to a larger budget movie option that was directed by Brad Armstrong, and distributed by Metro. This movie is called “Breeders”. It was released in 1996, and it has a higher budget than most. The stars of this movie include Sindee Coxx, Peter North, Dawn Burning, Kaitlyn Ashley, Alex Sanders, Sean Rider, Nadia Moore, Steve Drake, Anna Malle, Ruby, Gina LaMarca, Jon Severini, and Asia Carrera. The movie seems interesting enough, but is it any good? Well, let’s find out and see what’s up with this release from Metro.

From the start of the movie, you can tell that there was a higher budget than most. This movie starts with a very video game style introduction, with a lot of noise, and audio production to the credits. You really get a feel for the post-apocalyptic element that you’re going to be witnessing in this movie, that’s for sure.

Earth has become split into a few different factions. Those that are breeders and those that are not. The non-breeders are a band of criminals that want to kill everyone else. They are an underground group. They are criminals, and after the nuclear war killed everyone, only 12 people were left to breed. This is all talked about in the introduction which features a narrative voice. We see Peter North walking around a desolate area, which seems to me to be a spot near Inglewood.

Peter North runs into a busty blonde haired woman, and it’s none other than Sindee Coxx. Sindee Coxx gets on her knees and starts to blow Peter North. Sindee Coxx is a blonde haired, busty woman, and she has that California porno look. There’s a weird saxophone driven soundtrack that begins, and North stands amidst some dirt trees, with shadows being pushed to the side by the lighting rigs of the movie. It’s not well lit, but it’s lit enough to see what’s going on, and it’s Coxx going to town before North and her decide to have sex. The sex is adequate, the angles are ok, Peter North always looks like he’s in work mode, while Coxx seems to get wet and really get into the sex, even if it doesn’t last that long. The two work out well enough in multiple positions until North cums on Coxx’s pubic hair.

After North cums, we see some Roman Reigns looking dude come through and says, “they were here”. Then you are taken to an underground lair where a few guys are talking about how they need to kill more breeders. This is definitely a post-apocalyptic area, and it’s interesting to see, no doubt.

After the guys say they need to get more breeders, the camera takes us to prison cell. It’s here that Dawn Burning, Kaitlyn Ashley, Alex Sanders and Sean Rider are. They are kissing, moaning, and starting to take off their clothes. The two women are blonde haired, big breasted women, with your classic porno look. One is tanned, the other isn’t. There’s a pubic mound that is trimmed, and there seems to be some genuine chemistry between the couples. For this scene, the lighting is great, the set dressing looks like something out of the “Walking Dead”, and close ups are really close, giving you a very specific view of the oral, and the different positions. The women seem to get into it, and the guys are hard, making this an interesting scene. The music is good too, and the only downside is the many shadows that are in here, which counteract with the glare of my television screen as I try to review this. Other than that, it’s an artistic balanced scene that you could easily splice into “The Walking Dead” and get fanfare for. At one point there is anal, and I wonder why the purpose of breeders would garner such a thing. I thought the purpose was repopulation? Then I remembered, this is a porno. At the 24 minute mark, the director accidentally shows what appears to be Sean Rider trying to get hard, and not being able to perform, so the edit goes back to Sanders, going in with anal. It threw me off balance, and it really doesn’t do well for the scene, and as the scene progressed there’s a lot of blocking, to ensure that you don’t see his short comings in the scene.

After the sex is done, we see the breeders putting on their clothes, and they are attacked by the rebels on motorcyles, and they have guns. They are all casually shooting at the breeders, and one of them gets shot in the arm. From this point forward we get a lot more story. We are taken through the story and lots of dialogue. There’s some clever acting from Steve Drake, Asia Carrera, and others. It’s actually not bad, and if you were to splice the non-sex elements of this movie, you’d actually get a nice little science fiction piece. After some back and forth between the tribes, and Steve Drake’s character introduced we are taken to the memories of his character.

Nadia Moore and Steve Drake are stuck in his memory, and he is slowly caressing and kissing her. They are about to have sex in what appears to be a military outpost. They start slow, with oral, and then start to go forward with a few sensual moments before engaging in sex. The music here is slow, methodical, and artsy, with a focus on the scenario as an art piece, even if there is a bit of sex involved. There’s a sense of purity to the sex here, and it’s interesting to see. However, Nadia Moore doesn’t seem that interested in Drake, and while he’s a pro, the scene lacks that authentic sensuality and chemistry that I feel is necessary for a good sex scene. Remember, this is a fantasy, so it’s interesting to see how this doesn’t really fulfill that element for me. It’s artsy, it’s hardcore, but without that little extra, it’s just two people going through the motions, and it shows. There’s not much to this sex scene, there’s minimal focus on the actual sex, Drake blows his load into Moore’s face, and the music continues to be erotic and we then get a director’s slow down to show off that this is art, not just porn. It’s not a terrible scene, but it lacks that certain sensuality that you’d expect from porn. It is a cool scene to watch though.

Up next we are taken to another lair and this time, it’s Alex Sanders meeting Ruby, and Anna Malle. However, the director has slowed everything down to the point where it’s kind of a terrible scene. The sound design is good, the artsy nature of the sex is not lost on me, but it’s so slow at times that it is just like flipping through a porno and watching the images kind of shift. It’s a lackluster scene that really ends with a cum shot and that’s it. You barely see the women, and the lighting is so bad, that you can’t really tell what’s going on with some of the shadows that are in place.

After the terrible sex scene, we are taken to a mercenary with a shot gun. This is a tall redheaded woman, and she asks for one of the bad guys to take off his clothing. She points a shotgun to him, and finds out that he has water, and then takes it from him, drinking the water and letting it drip on her body. This woman is Gina LaMarca and she is an older redhead, with a lot of makeup. She immediately starts kissing the rebel, and we are taken to the next scene.

In this scene, we are treated to Gina LaMarca and Jon Severini having sex. It starts with oral on her, and then moves forward to the traditional elements. She keeps her boots on. She is a tall redhead with a shaved pubic area, but with a clear landing strip, a tan body, and large augmented breasts. Severini and her have some great chemistry together and though the director again uses slow motion to capture some of it, and the music is horrendous, the two seem to work well together here. The two have sex in multiple positions, but mainly doggy style, but it’s mired by the director’s decision to use slow motion again, and keep the sound and music at full speed. It takes you away from the action, as the lighting shifts because they are outside. It’s a bad scene, and truly a baffling decision if you ask me. The two go well together, and the sex is fine when not in slow motion, but it’s the lighting, music, and lack of chemistry that gets me towards the end of the scene, which starts off nicely, and then mellows out towards the end. It’s like watching an escort work for an hour. Eventually Severini cums and it lands in LaMarca’s face a little, and that’s it. He’s not a big guy, and she doesn’t seem that interested in the sex, yelling out at the end and barely looking sweaty at all. It’s a lackluster display if you ask me.

After they have sex, the rebels come down on motorcycles and they are shot by the two. They get on their motorcycles and run off to another outdoor post.

I don’t know why, but the next scene after this includes Gina LaMarca and Jon Severini having sex again. That’s right, there’s essentially a duplicate scene from what you just saw, only this time it’s full speed, full sex, and features a cum shot to the back of LaMarca’s body. It’s not that good, it’s fast, and the lighting is horrendous. But at least we don’t get that crappy slow motion for this one. LaMarca moans a great deal, and the camera ends the sex fast.

After the sex, we see Steve Drake and Asia Carrera running to the lair of the bad guys with guns, and they go in guns blazing. They then go in and shoot the main guy, and we come to find out that he was a breeder all along. Drake shoots him, and that’s it. All of the bad guys are killed and we are left with just Breeders.

The movie takes a lighter tone when we see Asia Carrera and Steve Drake outside some abandoned building. Asia Carrera gets on her knees and starts to blow Steve Drake. The worst thing about this is the slow motion, and the director once again goes for artsy, with a focus on music that is sold at a swap meet by some Peruvian flautists. Steve Drake and Asia Carrera have sex outdoors, and it’s not a bad scene, if it wasn’t all done in slow motion! Asia is a beautiful woman, needs no introduction, and Drake really works well with her. The two seem to have some great chemistry in this sex scene, and while the motions are good, and you really get a feel for the sex, the slow motion elements mixed with real audio sounds is a horrible way to cast this. Drake eventually cums on Asia’s pubic mound and that’s it. We get a short, slow motion sex scene that was probably much funner for the actors to do than for me to watch. I didn’t even get half a chub, which makes this an odd finish to a cool movie.

I give “Breeders” a 2 out of 5.

This is a terrible movie. However, it’s interesting, it has a lot of cool elements to it, but it lacks all of the elements that make a good porno movie, good. The sex kind of sucks, but the story is cool, and the ideas are great. But the choice to make a lot of the sex slow motion and artsy really takes me out of it. Plus, the Asia Carrera scene should’ve been longer in my view. But then again, hey, I am not the director, I’m just a guy reviewing movies.

You can check out “Breeders” and see if you like it, as it is available on DVD, streaming, and other mediums. Click here to pick it up and get 15 minutes free for starting a trial. I didn’t hate it, but I also didn’t love it. Maybe you will, though.

Big Game (1997) Review

Big Game (1997) Poster

Today we go forward in time from the last review, and we see ourselves in the 1990s. We will be visiting 1997 where we pick up a movie with a higher budget than most, and a full story that would’ve been easily put in a movie theater had this been in the 1980s. This is 1997 of course, so it’s not filmed with such high resolution, but there are some artsy elements, and the movie starts with some great introductory elements. The movie that we are going to be reviewing today is none other than, “Big Game” from 1997. The movie was directed by David Stanley and was distributed by Arch Angel. It has all the elements that you’d expect from a 1990s movie, including some of the stars. The stars of this movie include, Coral Sands, Sindee Coxx, Tiffany Mynx, Randee Lee, Tom Byron, Felecia, Billy Glide, Alyssa Love, Don Fernando, Jay Ashley, Melissa Hill, and Stephanie Swift. Is “Big Game” any good? Well, let’s find out by looking into what goes on in this movie from 1997.

The opening sequence lets you in on the story. You are told about three women that are on trial, and it’s a media story. The newscaster talks about the women that are on trial and why, and then we move forward to the court room. The courtroom set is really good, and quite interesting. The set features a real courtroom with all of the bells and whistles that you’d expect. A witness is called to the stand, and within 3 minutes we get thrown into the action of sex.

Coral Sands, Sindee Coxx, and Tiffany Mynx get involved with a sex scene where all of them get involved. Sindee Coxx has a strap on, and the other women just get undressed. Two of them are blonde, and one is brunette. They are all thin, have nice curves, long legs, and large breasts. They each moan, and at times scream as they are eaten out, and use their fingers on each other. This is a hardcore lesbian sex scene and has a great deal of passion involved, including the moments where the strap on is used. Coxx doesn’t have large breasts ,I take that back. There’s a bit of anal at one point, and for the most part these women seem to be very interested in pleasing one another, not just playing up for the camera, which is a good sign. There’s a decent soundtrack to this, and the sex is adequate for the most part. This seems like a lengthy seem by the 10 minute mark, even though it’s not that long, and well, it works for the most part, but it’s not something that that is going to get many people into. I think there’s a lack of camera work at times, and while Coral Sands screams at one point, there’s still something that is intangible here, and I’m not sure what it is. It’s a decent opener, and some good overall screams and moans, with an interesting setting, that being the judges desk inside a courtroom, but other than that, I am not sold. Of course, we see an audience, including Tom Byron. Tom Byron plays Frankie The Fishing Cowboy, and it’s funny watch the interval.

After the quick comedic routine, we are taken to a random bedroom where Tom Byron has called a pretty lady. He’s in a makeup chair and asks what the woman in the bedroom is wearing, meanwhile the makeup artist is starting to rub him and then starts to blow him.

Randee Lee and Tom Byron start to enjoy themselves, while Byron is in the makeup chair. Randee Lee is a tanned skin brunette, with a curvy body. Tom Byron has dyed blonde haired in this sequence, and we see the two start with a blow job. The director sends us to the bedroom where Melissa Hill is listening in on the duo and pleasing herself while on the phone. This scene has a duality to it, that is unlike the 1980s hard cuts, as we get sent back and forth between Hill masturbating with a dildo and Tom Byron getting it on with the makeup lady.

All of this is interesting, and during the sequence we are sent to another room where Steven St. Croix is in an interrogation room or somewhere with a wire, listening into Melissa Hill’s conversation with Tom Byron.

The director goes back to Randee Lee and Tom Byron, and they are having sex now. There’s no condom here, and it’s a slow moving progressive sex scene. Lee is pretty, in that southern California style, with augmented breasts, and tan lines. The music here isn’t terrible, the set is a warehouse makeup chair and desk, and the director lets you see all of the points of insertion. Despite the good production, and music, the two don’t seem to have much chemistry together, and that really makes for a boring scene. I hate when there seems to be a lack of passion, and it shows here. Byron and Lee do their jobs, but that’s it, it just looks like a job and they keep going through the motions, and that’s it. It happens. At the 22 minute mark there is anal, of course. It’s a slow start as usual, and it goes forward a bit before concluding the entire scene. During the anal scene, I noticed that there was a dip in sound design and quality, and while the two did get into the sex a little more, it lacked that passion that you’d expect from sexual partners. You’d have to see this to understand, but it’s just robotic to me. There is a cum shot at the end where Tom Byron cums on Randee Lee, and then we see Melissa Hill finish herself with a vibrator, and that’s that.

We see Steven St. Croix listening in and figuring out what is going on, before we go to a new scene.

The next scene we see Felicia putting on a towel, and a man is at the door. It’s Billy Glide and he comes into the house. Meanwhile, Sindee Coxx gets up and looks for something to wear, and then shows up. Sindee Coxx here has large breasts, blonde hair, and a great bit of makeup. Meanwhile, Felecia is a short, thin, and tanned woman with tan lines, and brunette hair. Coxx gets on her knees in front of Glide, and then an orchestral music soundtrack begins, and we see the sex start. Billy Glide, Sindee Coxx, and Felicia start with oral. Felicia for the most part sticks to giving Sindee Coxx oral, while Billy Glide and Sindee Coxx engage in something else. Coxx starts to blow Billy Glide like there’s no tomorrow, a sequence that raises the bar on the movie within a moment, and I’m impressed with it overall. Felicia rims Coxx at one point, and that’s interesting to see, and the director has his hands full trying to capture the threesome here, as they all seem to be into what is going on. Felicia pulls out a dildo, and starts to work herself into a frenzy, while Glide goes in with Coxx and just goes forward with relative ease. Felicia is on one side of a cream couch while Glide and Coxx use the other side to have sex. Glide eventually cums on Coxx’s butt and that’s it.

Coxx and Glide discuss Steven St. Croix for a moment, and we see him in a wheel chair. There’s been an accident, and he’s now being “weird”.

After that scene we are sent to Mickey G. and Stephanie Swift sweaty, in bed, and a phone call comes through.

We are sent to where a trio of women start to talk to Steven St. Croix, and he wants the women to kill someone. Stephanie Swift says that she doesn’t kill. Then he says, do you know what “Fucking” is? And then we are sent to a threesome sex scene.

The scene shows off Alyssa Love, Billy Glide, and Jay Ashley having sex. St. Croix shows the women the sex scene, and it’s spliced into the scene with an interesting focused and distressed camera lens. It’s almost like watching MTV from back in the day, while St. Croix talks about why he wants someone dead. As for the sex, it’s horrible. It’s slow, it’s mediocre, and Alyssa Love seems to just be there. Even when there’s an anal moment, it’s just a slow moving, and workable scene. At one point one of the guys doesn’t even have an erection, and is getting blown, making it an awkward sex scene. Eventually we get a money shot, and that’s that. This is perhaps one of the worst sex scenes I’ve reviewed since opening up this blog, even though there’s all the components that you’d expect from a sex scene, including Alyssa Love getting two money shots in the mouth.

We move along to a hallway where Stephanie Swift is talking to Don Fernando. She’s pretty here, young, with glasses. She tells Don Fernando that she doesn’t have the rent money, and that she can do something else if he wishes. To that avail, Stephanie Swift takes her top off and looks stoically into the camera while she gives Don Fernando a hand job. Swift asks Fernando not to touch her, but he keeps touching her breasts. The sequence is just a hand job sequence until he cums, and that’s it. He cums and that’s the rent paid. He cums on her dress, and then they look to see who’s watching and it’s Mickey G.

Mickey G. runs down to the apartment, and confronts Stephanie Swift. Swift says that Mickey G. doesn’t want to know her, and that she’s a bad girl. Soft music starts, and we see Mickey G pull out his penis, and start to stroke it. Meanwhile, Stephanie Swift is in the bathroom by herself and she starts to masturbate for the camera. The director contrasts between the two, and they are solo, in separate rooms of an apartment. This continues and doesn’t lead to anything big, and that’s it.

The scenes switch and we are taken to a brown couch. Another brown couch in a random apartment. Its here that we see Tom Byron and Melissa Hill starting to kiss and fool around. An instrumental track starts, the lighting is a little dim, and the two seem to have a lot of chemistry together. Melissa Hill has a unique face, reddish hair, small breasts, a skinny frame, long legs, long arms, and tan lines. She looks like someone I knew in high school, and she really gets into the beginning of this sequence with lots of kissing, and then oral from Tom Byron. The two progress to take off their clothes and then start to have sex. They go through multiple positions, and no condom, with Hill moaning a great deal and even screaming at one point. She seems to really enjoy this, and the two work up a real sweat in the sex that is had here. I found it to be a better sequence than any other one in this movie, and since I’m a fan of Melissa Hill, it was a real joy to see her bouncing on Tom Byron. This scene saves the rest of the movie if you ask me. After a lot of positions, some sweat, and changes there’s a cum shot to Melissa Hill’s face, and the end of a good sex scene for a change. I do put down a few points because someone was messing with the boom mic and it was in the edit, so that was dumb, but other than that, this was a great little romp of sex.

After the sex there are a few non sex scenes and we see the women from before in masks put a bomb onto Tom Byron! That’s right, they strap a bomb on him in an attempt to kill him. We don’t see the bomb go off or anything, so that’s something. But we do see the women in jail, so obviously they got caught. We are returned to the court room, and that’s when Stephanie Swift is on the stand. A tape is played, and we are taken to the bedroom of Mickey G. and Stephanie Swift. This set is nice, darkly lit, with candles, and silk sheets. The two are romantic with one another, naked in bed and just kissing lightly.

Stephanie Swift and Mickey G. go forward with a simple start, kissing, and then masturbating facing one another, and then out of the blue, Stephanie Swift sticks her foot into Mickey G’s butt. I kid you not, this is a first for me in these narrative style porn movies. Her food, almost to the ankle goes into Mickey G’s butt hole, and she moves it around while he masturbates. This lasts a few minutes before Swift jumps on and starts to blow him in a casual, and steady blow job, changing the fetishes to normal, I guess. The two then start to have sex, but the camera doesn’t show you a lot of the insertion, and then we get a money shot. It’s a scene that is quite interesting, as it is a bit tame, and then we see that Stephanie Swift was dreaming all along!

We see Mickey G. hearing the radio in a new room where Melissa Hill is and he finds out that someone is going to testify against him, and he gets upset. Melissa Hill tries to comfort him, and we are taken to another scene after this.

The next sequence shows Felicia and Sindee Coxx having jailroom sex together. The set here is a jail house looking cell, and the two are naked, and just start to have sex with a lot of oral, and a lot of moaning. Felicia screams at one point, her tan lines are so pronounced here, and Coxx does well to get her to cum several times. If you’re a fan of legitimate sexual experiences between porno stars, then here you go, one of the better sequences. It doesn’t last that long, mind you, but it works well enough to further the story and to titillate.

After the jail house sequence we are taken back to a bedroom where Melissa Hill and Mickey G are in the throws of passion. This is a fast scene, the two work very quickly to get into the sex, with Melissa Hill blowing Mickey G to start, and then letting him penetrate her, and go through multiple positions. She doesn’t even take off all of her clothes, just enough to see her breasts, stockings, and penetration. The two have sex against a marble wall, and the lighting is a bit dim, while you look into their pushing and moaning. At the 2 hour and 10 minute mark there’s a slow motion cum shot and that ends the movie for the most part.

After Mickey G cums, they look over and see Steven St. Croix in a wheel chair and Stephanie Swift standing in the hallway. The two look on in, and then go outside. Stephanie Swift walks around to where Steven St. Croix is, and puts her hands on his shoulder. The two share an intimate moment of reflection. Swift then sits on St. Croix and the two just hug. The wheelchair is pushed into the waters of a pool, and that’s it. Piano music plays and the two just sink, and the camera watches them go below the waters, and they kiss. They kiss hard, and they float a bit up, as the music moves forward. It’s a miracle Steven St. Croix legs start working again! The two kiss and the music continues, and that’s the end.

I give “Big Game” a 3 out of 5.

There’s really only a few scenes in this whole movie that really got me excited. Melissa Hill is a goddess in this one, and the rest, well it works for the most part, but if you’re not a fan of the women or the men involved you may not like it. I didn’t think it was that great, even though it had a long plot that had a lot of non-sex scenes in it. I’m sure that there will be fans that like it, but I can’t give it more than 3 out of 5.

You can purchase “Big Game” and see what you think about it, as it features a great deal of stars, some sex, and plot that you don’t always get with these types of movies. You can click HERE to stream it, download it, or buy it on DVD for a discount.

I Love You Molly Flynn (1988) Review

I Love You Molly Flynn (1988) Poster

Today we are going to be heading back to the 1980s. We talked modern yesterday, but today, we are going to hit our time machine and visit the 1980s. This is 1988 that we are visiting, and we are going to be looking into a movie that was distributed by VTO and was directed by Fred J. Lincoln. This was a movie that was sent to movie theaters, etc. Moving along the way, we are going to be visiting the 1980s and seeing some of the stars that you can probably guess. This movie is called, “I Love You Molly Flynn”, and it features some standards from the 1980s. The stars of this movie include Angel Kelly, Billy Dee, Erica Boyer, Joey Silvera, Randy West, Sharon Kane, Tom Byron, and Trinity Loren.

This movie starts with an original theme song from the 1980s, and features a lot of colorful elements. The theme song starts and then we see the cast come through with cheesy 1980s graphics. This is definitely one of the movies that went to the movie theaters, and it shows. The production values are high here, with interesting graphics, fonts, and overall design to the start. It’s almost like the entry of a sitcom, only with spliced in hardcore sex, but it features something endearing about it as well. Once the credits roll we go into the movie’s plot.

The opening shows Randy West talking to a blonde haired woman and he talks about well he’s dressed and how cleans up. They talk about how he’s going to meet with the president. Then a servant comes in, and interrupts them. The servant says that there’s someone to see Molly Flynn, and it’s none other than Joey Silvera. Flynn doesn’t want to see him, and is upset that he’s come back again. The two talk, and Flynn pushes Silvera away, stating that they are not like they were, and she’s not interested in his advances. That brings Randy West down to see what is going on. Silvera is introduced to Flynn’s new love, and we get moving forward with an awkward introduction, and your standard starting line for a romantic comedy. Despite Flynn not wanting Silvera to hang out, her new man invites silvera to make himself at home, and the couple leaves him downstairs while they rush upstairs.

We are sent to another scene, and it’s Flynn discussing the situation with Angel Kelly. She says that there’s an unexpected guest and that her ex is now in the house, and things are going to get complicated. She’s venting to the help, Angel Kelly is a maid for Flynn here.

We are moved to another scene, and here we see Joey Silvera and Tom Byron talking to Angel Kelly, talking about having some fun, but then Silvera is pushed aside and Tom Byron gets into things.

Tom Byron and Angel Kelly start to make out on a red couch, and the camera swipes to a blow job. Angel Kelly is an African American woman with a thin frame, short hair, and medium sized breasts. She is a beautiful woman, and Tom Byron still looks like his boyish self. There’s romantic music playing to start, and Angel is works her magic with a fast blow job and hand job combination that nearly forces Bryon to cum within a few minutes. The music continues, and the scene moves to oral for Kelly. The two move into a few positions, the most prominent being reverse cowgirl. The camera focuses on an artsy movement, and you don’t immediately see the penetration. It moves with the music, and eventually we see the two having full blown sex, as sweat starts to bead up on each participant. The music here is really good, the lighting is great, and while Tom Byron looks to be in “work mode” Kelly really gets into the process, squeezing her breasts, and moaning a great deal. After several position switches, and a good amount of time, the finale comes with Angel Kelly giving Byron a hand job, and him cumming in her hands, which is a sight to see as she really knows what she’s doing. The two kiss lightly and the scene ends.

There’s a swipe and we see Joey Silvera roaming around the house in a blue tank top. Joey Silvera knocks on the door of Molly Flynn’s bedroom, or what seems to be a bedroom. Silvera comes in and tries to kiss her, but Flynn says that she’s with someone but Silvera tells her that he misses her and the two start to kiss a little more, even though Flynn, played by Trinity Loren, does not want to get moving forward, saying that she’s with Andrew, and that he’s amazing and doesn’t want to cheat. The scene ends with Randy West refusing Trinity Loren’s advances.

We then move forward to see Joey Silvear cooking in a kitchen with Molly Flynn, aka Trinity Loren, and they just talk. They are talking about cooking, and whether they want Silvera to cook full time etc. Silvera discusses the issue of cooking, and catering, and whether they want him to stick around long term, and more. It’s an interesting conversation that happens without any sort of sexual advancements.

The movie changes scenes and now we end up looking at a random den and it’s Trinity Loren and Joey Silvera talking about old times. Silvera puts his hand on Loren’s breasts and tells her that she should relax, and then the two start to make out a little. Silvera proceeds, and Loren caves in.

Trinity Loren and Joey Silvera start to undress, kiss, and engage in sex. Trinity Loren is a young looking, blonde haired beauty, with large natural breasts. She wears stockings and a pair of silver high heels, as she begins to blow Silvera. There’s romantic music here, and the two start to have sex on a brown couch. Why is every couch in the world brown? Answer me that?! I’m just saying it’s really generic. The scene starts with some of the most romantic piano music I’ve ever heard in a porno, and the sex starts slow, with a focus on the blow job that is so simple, and yet somewhat passionate. There’s no condoms, Loren isn’t shaved, she has a full pubic mound of hair, and Silvera isn’t shaved either. The two start to have sex, and for once, the scene looks like the two have a great deal of chemistry together as they start to get into the action. At one point Silvera squeezes Loren’s breasts and she sucks on the nipples herself, while Silvera goes in and out of her slowly and then sped up. This is perhaps one of the best 1980s sex scenes that I’ve seen in a long time, as it is passionate, and definitely more than just pure sex. The two trade positions a couple of times, and it gets a little harder and faster, with Loren moaning quite a bit here. After a while the two end up on a coffee table where Silvera goes between Loren’s breasts and then cums for the finish.

After the sex, we are taken to the kitchen where Randy West encounters Erica Boyer. Erica Boyer is a curvy dirty blonde, and she has classic 1980s highlights in her hair. She’s quite lovely here, compared to another scene that I saw her in where she and a dude were playing with a penis pump and he got massive before going in with her. There’s 1980s techno music that starts, and then we flash back to another scene.

The director flashes back to the brown couch where Joey Silvera and Trinity Loren are having sex, and the two are looking into each others eyes as Silvera goes all in with her. It’s a 1980s thing for the director to cut from sex to conversation to sex, and it’s mainly to give people in the movie theater a break between strokes, so that they can’t keep it up throughout, I assume. The finish here shows Silvera cumming on Loren’s pubic mound for the finish, and the two look into each others eyes and kiss, and it’s a nice little element overall.

We are taken back to the kitchen, and it’s Erica Boyer and Randy West. She has made him something to drink, it looks like a shake, and she talks about the ingredients, as the two talk. Erica Boyer gets on top of the counter and starts to give Randy West a little bit of a look while she rubs her breasts. Randy West tries to make conversation, but Boyer keeps trying to get him to touch her and kiss her, which he keeps trying to avoid. He can’t resist too long.

Randy West and Erica Boyer take off their clothes, and get on the counter for a starting point of oral sex. Boyer receives as Randy West and his stupid looking mustache go down on her, and then things switch up and she gives him a casual blow job. It’s slow, there’s romantic music that comes in, and West keeps talking about how amazing it is to have her mouth on his penis. The blow job continues through the scene, but the director decides it’s time for one of those infamous cuts. I kid you not, right when things are starting to get good, the director decides to cut to Trinity Loren talking to Silvera.

Silvera and Loren discuss how they made a mistake. They see things differently, but the sex is over, and Loren regrets getting moving forward with the sex. Silvera is proud of what happened, and Loren eventually walks away while Silvera is sitting with a grin.

The director cuts back to the kitchen, and that’s where Randy West is going all in with Erica Boyer. There’s once again good lighting, a nice counter top, and romantic music throughout. I’ve seen Boyer in a lot of other scenes, so this one is a bit tame, she seems to enjoy it for the most part, and West works up a sweat. Boyer is screaming at the 46 minute mark, and West is in full work mode, as the two share a connection after some time that is quite fascinating. They trade several different positions before Boyer eventually gives West a hand job and has him cum in her face and mouth. As she finishes West off Loren walks in on them, and he knows he’s in trouble.

At this point I got distracted. The main reason why is because this movie was dubbed in French for the copy that I got. “Do you speak French?” No! Then I realized that the movie wasn’t in French! It’s in German! Holy crap, how is it that I understand German? I don’t know, I can’t explain it, but I know what they are saying and perhaps I’ve watched too much porno.

We are taken to a room where Silvera, Billy Dee, and Randy West are smoking cigars and talking about what they do, and how business is going. Billy Dee talks about the changes that are going on in his industry, something about exporting things. Then Billy Dee starts to talk about a conquest he had while on a work trip, and in comes Erica Boyer.

Before they get too far, the director cuts to Loren and another blonde haired woman just talking.

The director goes back to the brown couch and we see Erica Boyer blowing Joey Silvera, while Billy Dee is in doggy style going in all the way with her. Again the romantic music kicks on, and the trio have sex on the brown couch in a somewhat passionate way. Silvera and Boyer do a lot of kissing here. And it’s fascinating to see overall.

The stupid director cuts again, and we are taken to a dining room where Randy West meets Sharon Kane. Sharon Kane is a blonde haired woman with short hair, red pumps, and she commands Randy West to give her oral. Randy West says that he can’t, because he is with someone and can’t just go in. Kane tells her to shut up and start going down. Then she insults him. So he gets on one knee and starts to give oral to Sharon Kane, but the director changes the scene.

The scene changes and we are back with Erica Boyer, Billy Dee, and Joey Silvera on the stupid brown couch. This time the positions have switched and Boyer is getting plowed by Silvera.

The director cuts yet again and we see Randy West giving oral to Sharon Kane. Kane reacts with a lot of moaning and vibrations, but the editing once again stops things.

We get taken back to the Erica Boyer, Billy Dee, and Joey Silvera trio of sex, for about 2 minutes and they are all in with their sexual positions, but that’s not good enough. The director cuts again.

Another cut and we are taken to Boyer in reverse cowgirl with Billy Dee and she’s orgasming wildly, and it shows. It’s a good piece of footage, and one that is much longer than the director lets you see. Meanwhile, Joey Silvera tries to get hard and masturbates, and it’s a bad little element that I noticed. The director cuts again.

Sharon Kane blows Randy West on a dining room table, the same romantic song is still playing overall. Kane is wearing red lingerie, and reminds me of an escort I once met with a Romney sticker on her SUV. West isn’t huge here, and while he’s hard, you can tell that he’s just the average sized dude, but can seem to last forever.

The director cuts, as per usual. Boyer is blowing Billy Dee and Silvera at the same time as the two get ready for the money shots. The two start to masturbate wildly in a race of who cums first, and it’s not a terrible little sequence, but I don’t know how they can synchronize this sort of thing. Eventually both cum at the same time and that’s it, and Boyer is watching and laughing and seems to enjoy the whole thing.

The director cuts again, and this time we still have that romance in the air with the music. Randy West is now having sex with Sharon Kane on the table, and the two are making out while he pushes his pelvis into her deeply. They exchange a few positions and while there’s a bit of moaning, it starts to look a lot like mechanical sex, as the director asks the couple to slow down a little, and they oblige. It’s romantic with the song, and Kane asks West to finish, and hurry up. The chemistry seems lost at the one hour and 8 minute mark, and while this is still sex, it’s just not that good. After some reverse cowgirl on a chair, West cums onto Sharon Kane’s pubic mound, and Trinity Loren walks in and sees the goings on and calls Andrew a bastard. Randy West plays Andrew, and then Joey Silvera and Billy Dee walk in as well and laugh.

The screen fades to black, and we are taken to a staircase where Randy West and Joey Silvera are talking. The two are getting a real heart to heart about the nature of love and romance. They found out a bunch about each other, and the sex that goes on. Randy West feels bad, but Joey Silvera gives him some advice about how to get Loren back.

In another scene the plan goes forward. Joey Silvera and Randy West play fight in front of Trinity Loren. The winner gets to have her. Loren watches the two and Silvera pretends to knock out West, and he goes down. Then we see that Loren loves West more than Silvera, and stays with him.

Trinity Loren and Randy West start to kiss. Loren is taken aback because he got knocked out, but he says that he’s fine, and there comes the romantic music. The music starts and we are taken to a well lit bedroom where Trinity Loren starts one hell of a blow job on Randy West. The blow job here is epic, and Trinity Loren has such a good body, and her hair is so nice with minimal makeup here. The two really get into this sequence, and it’s one of the best sex scenes in the movie. After a swipe of the camera, the two get into the sex, and it’s good, with Randy West going as hard as he can with Loren, and Loren moaning throughout. It’s a fascinating push forward, with the two actually seeming into what they are doing, throughout the short sex romp. Eventually Randy West gets between Loren’s breasts and then cums. The director shows their faces, then shows the sequence, and it eventually the cum shot appears and that’s that.

Moving right along we see that Randy West and Trinity Loren have decided to get married, and Silvera congratulates them as they leave. That’s the end of the movie, right? Nope!

Right when you think the movie is over, in comes Angel Kelly. She talks to Silvera, and they start to kiss and then get into the sex. The sex is quick, on the brown couch in the den, and the two just go through the motions. There’s no major oral here, there’s no major foreplay, it’s just straight forward sex. Silvera looks to be in work mode and for this round Angel Kelly seems to be less than enthused to start, but the two eventually pick up the steam with the backdrop of romantic music playing again. After some position changes, the two end up in close proximity with Kelly giving Silvera a hand job until he cums, and that’s the end. He cums hard, and Kelly watches it all go down, and that’s that.

I give “I Love You Molly Flynn” a 2 out of 5.

There's not much more I can say about this one. This movie is plagued with problems. The women are pretty, the sex is just boring, with the exception of a couple of scenes. The romantic music really is awful.

Wife Switch 5 (2012) Review

Wife Switch Volume 5 (2012) Cover 

We are going modern for the latest review that we are going to talk about. Let’s get into our time machine and get to 2012. In 2012 the fifth release from the series “Wife Switch” was released. “Wife Switch Volume 5” came out in 2012 and it was distributed by Pink Visual and there was no director credited here. The movie stars Faith Leon, Roxy DeVille, Barrett Blade, Marcos Leon, Nina Hartley, Stephanie Swift, Sascha, Tommy Gunn, Baily Brooks, Ginger Blaze, Mike Butders, Derrick Pierce, Leigh Livingston, Mia Lelani, Ben English, Chris Johnson, Bella Lynn, Brandy Edwards, and Talon.

There’s not a whole lot to this movie, it’s a gonzo picture, although the first part is a minor interview that features a couple of guys that have cheated on their spouses, so they want to switch things up and reveal to them the truth.

The opening scene starts with Faith Leon, Roxy Deville, Barrett Blade, and Marcos Leon switching partners. The two women in this scene are thin, brunette, and have girl next door qualities to them. They both don’t have large breasts, and really do look like girls you’d see in college, a freshman and a senior for that matter. The four start to unrobe in what seems like an ordinary couch in someone’s home. There’s no condoms here, just nudity and shaved private areas. It’s a gonzo picture, so it gets into the sex fast. The camera work gets a little sloppy, there’s no music, but the lighting is great. If you’re a fan of gonzo pictures, then you’ll like the way this starts into the sex. Both women moan and scream with delight, including one section at the 18 minute mark where one guy plays with a woman’s clitoris while in reverse cowgirl, a move that she says is too much but he continues. I know from experience that women outside of porn don’t usually like that. The couples get into a money shot and that’s it. WE then get a simple interview about revealing cheating, etc. It’s terrible acting, mind you.

Moving along we are taken to a new couple, and this time it’s Stephanie Swift and Sascha, a European guy. Stephanie Swift is a milf at this point which is interesting, and looks great. Nina Hartley and Tommy Gun are the other couple and we get a brief interview to start. This too gets really into the sex within a few minutes. It starts with Nina Hartley and Stephanie Swift kissing, then Tommy Gun and Sascha getting blow jobs from the women, before they start to get into the sex. There was supposed to be a rule where the guys were supposed to wear condoms, at least according to the interview, but only one guy is wearing a condom. The two women moan a great deal, and the camera follows the action well enough. The sex lasts a while before we see a money shot with not much cum, and one guy doesn’t last nearly as long as the other. After the sex, we find out that Sascha wasn’t wearing a condom, and Stephanie Swift gets mad, while Hartley just looks on.

The next scene features a brunette and a redhead woman and both look older here. They are milfs for sure, with larger breasts then the previous women, and we start afresh. This time it’s Baily Brooks, Ginger Blaze, Derrick Pierce, and Mikey Butders starting to make out and getting unrobed. The two get right into the action, in a well lit hotel room on couches, and just start working through a few positions. No condoms here, and the women just change partners, and it’s what you’d expect. No music, just gonzo sex until there’s a cum shot with a few shots of cum here and there. It’s a gonzo porn, with little to no direction, just two couples having sex, and that’s it.

For the next scene we are taken to a mansion and we get setup in a hot tub. Here we find Leigh Livingston, Mia Lelani, Ben English, and Chris Johnson starting to make out then going into oral. The women are both different. Lelani is a tanned Asian looking woman, with brunette hair and very large breasts. Leigh Livingston has reddish brown, short hair and large natural breasts. The four people move from the hot tub to a bedroom and they start to get into the sex part of this scene. Again, no condoms, everyone is shaved, and they get into the traditional positions that you’d expect from couples. There’s no real passion here, just straight sex, without a lot of attitude, and really nothing too crazy to write about. I found Lelani to be quite sexy, and vocal, but Livingston didn’t seem to be that into things. Lelani seems to really enjoy the sex, and the guys did their job well enough, but without no music, and a random set, this seemed like a benign sexual romp. Towards the one hour and 41 minute mark, the doggy style sex with Livingston gets really good but the director focuses on Lelani instead, even though it seems like Livingston is having the better of the two experiences at this point. Ben English gets mad because Chris Johnson cums in Livingston and things get heated. I guess that’s the big deal in this movie, etc.

We get to the last scene of this movie and it stars Bella Lynn, Brandi Edwards, some random guy and a dude named Talon. The foursome start to have sex in the same bedroom as the other couples, and it starts with a blow job. Bella Lynn is a pale, skinny woman with enhanced breasts and black hair. Brandi Edwards has dirty blonde hair, is a bit older, and smaller breasts. They are both thin, and the guys are normal but aren’t very big, just shaved. The women get into the blow jobs a bit, but again, there’s no music, the set sucks, and the passion seems to be missing for the starting line of this movie. The couples have ok sex, and it seems to be fine, until the 2 hour and 8 minute mark when things get really exciting and they all start to work far faster, and harder, with the women screaming and wanting more action. At that point we see the talent really getting into the sex, and it’s interesting to see. The closing sequence tries to save the whole movie with speed, and it doesn’t work if you’ve been sitting through this whole thing. There’s a couple of money shots, and that’s it.

I give “Wife Switch 5” a 3 out of 5.

Yes, this is a gonzo movie, and it will get you there if you really like wife swapping stories. However, I didn’t really think it was a lot of fun. The women and men exchange well, but even a girl like Stephanie Swift seemed bored with the sex, and it was just not that great. It is ok, just not great. If you’re looking for a wife swapping movie, and you don’t want a lot of story, this works, but I didn’t get too excited by it, but that’s just me. It deserves a 3 and that’s about it.

You can purchase “Wife Switch 5” on DVD and get some extras, as well as stream it as well if you’d like. Just click here and check it out for your own personal review.

Stardust (1996) Review

Stardust (1996) Poster 

Today we are going to the 1990s yet again. This time around, we are going to be looking at a movie that spawned a series that goes deep. I’m talking like eleven sequels at this point. That’s not a bad thing, that’s a great thing! I guess. It’s kind of like “The Devil In Miss Jones”, watering down over the course of many years. As far as erotica is concerned, we are going to be venturing to the 1990s today, specifically to 1996. In this year we are going to be looking at the movie, “Stardust”. This movie was directed by Michael Zen, and it was distributed by Vivid Video. The movie stars Alex Sanders, Jon Dough, Jill Kelly, Misty Rain, Jenteal, Missy, Bobby Vitale, Steven St. Croix, and others. There are a few non-sex role actors, but do you really care? I mean, Mike Horner is in here, which is always interesting, and Missy is in it too, but the rest, meh, right? I know, I’m not a great reviewer. But let’s go to the time machine and see what’s up with “Stardust” from 1996.

There’s something that is somewhat calming about seeing the Vivid Video, two people merging logo. It tells you that you’re watching a Vivid Video. It’s classic 1990s logo, and I love it. “You’re Watching a Vivid Feature Presentation”, classic. That’s how you know you’re in for something cool, right? The opening of this film is interesting, it roles the credits with a dancer. There’s a light in the background, and it’s a naked woman dancing, with fire sticks, but they aren’t lit yet. If you’re a fan of Cirque De Soleil, that’s kind of what you get to start, and then the sticks are ignited, I think they are called torches, my bad. There’s a unique soundtrack, a melody that is done with Peruvian flutes, and it reminds me of Southpark a bit. The credits continue to roll, and we see the shadows of nudity, a formed body, and shadows, which is a nice way to start things off, no doubt. The start of the movie begins with lettering, and it states, “From a far away galaxy…the star creatures are touched by the dreams of Earthlings”, and then we go into the actual movie.

The movie begins with a knight riding on a horse. He’s in full armor, and there’s a woman in a white dress, and full makeup. There’s a medieval times vibe to this, and the knight kneels and asks for his hand. But then we see what’s really happening, it’s a woman in front of a mirror and she says, why are you dreaming? She then starts to talk to the camera, and says how she met the wrong guy, a man named “Bubba King”, and what occurs here is the dude running into the knight with a golf cart. He then steps out looking like Boss Hog from “The Dukes of Hazard”, and he kisses the woman.

We go from that, to a movie studio, and we are introduced to a studio executive played by Mike Horner. However, in the waiting room is Jeanna Fine and Jon Dough. Mike Horner is laughing, and there’s a moose with a cigar on the wall. Jeanna Fine pulls Dough aside and talks to him on the couch in the office, and starts to rub her hands on Dough’s leg. For the record, I love Jeanna Fine, she has a smoker’s voice, short black hair, long legs, and a beautiful face. She starts to throw herself at Dough here, while Mike Horner is in near tears. Dough doesn’t really want to get with Fine, but eventually, as they keep discussing their next move, she gets on her knees and starts to blow him, and he obliges with the next sequence. Some romantic music plays, and we get to the action.

Jeanna Fine starts on her knees, fully clothed, without panties, and blows Jon Dough. Fine is partially shaved, trimmed, and neat, has red colored nails, a light tan, and has that professional woman’s look from the mid 1990s in a business suit and all. She has stockings, and the camera gets right into her work with the blow job. The moose watches the goings on, and tells the director to look at the goings on, and it’s a well lit scene. It’s obvious that this was not filmed on 35MM, as it looks like cable porn only it’s XXX so you see it all. The camera is steady, the lighting is good. Amidst the blow job sequence, Mike Horner starts to yell and stop them for a minute. After some oral, the scene shifts to sex, and Jon Dough gets into work mode. The two have sex on the couch, and while it’s not the best scene, Fine looks amazing. She moans a bit, and Dough pushes through, but honestly, it’s mechanical and lacking passion. Fine is a bit loud, but it’s theatrical, not passionate. If you’re a fan of Fine, then you’ll like watching her have sex with Dough, but if you’re not familiar with her at all, you may think that this is a bit over the top. She’s not that wet, she’s a bit demanding, and Mike Horner is in the corner watching it. She seems to be out of it towards the 15 minute mark too. Fine behaves like a 1 hour escort, waiting for the final cum shot, which arrives at the 17 minute mark, and that’s about it. Fine is in work mode, Dough at least throws in a great deal of pushing, and even sweats a little, but Fine, despite looking like a million bucks, kind of kills the boner with a lackluster, theatrical performance.

We move the story along to the “Beaver House” where we are on the hunt for Bubba King. We are taken to the inside of the strip club, and there’s a crowd of guys. One of the guys looks like Keenan Thompson! It’s just a bunch of random dudes, and the women here are in all feathers, and pink. They are going to do a performance act, much like a burlesque show. Meanwhile, Jon Dough is on the phone in another set trying to get info about Bubba King. The women start their dance, and it’s a very unique, and cool way to open up the second part of this movie. Dough is at a pay phone, remember those? After some time in the phone, he ends up meeting Bubba King and Steven St. Croix.

Jill Kelly and Misty Rain have a sexual encounter on stage for the men. It’s not hardcore, but they are dancing in pink, and it’s very sexy, while the guys watch. It ends after some time, and it doesn’t get too hardcore at all, but watching them dance is truly a nice little takeaway from the rest of the movie. But then of course, after a slight interlude with Alex Sanders and Jenteal, we are back to the women, only now they are starting to have sex with one another. The two get into oral, and it’s all in the pink getup. But what’s interesting here is that the director has chosen to go artsy with the camera work, dropping the frame rate and creating a look that reminds me of the Sega CD, and it’s not great. The two have a great deal of fun with one another, going through oral, fingering, and more. It’s a good sex scene for the most part, and it’s two women that seem into one another.

Up next, we see Jenteal hit the stage. Alex Sanders is in the audience and he starts to imagine what it would be like to have sex with her. The director fades into his dreams, and that’s the next sex scene. Alex Sanders starts to give Jenteal oral to start the sex. Jenteal is a blonde haired, small breasted, curvy woman, and is younger in this picture. Alex Sanders has long hair, and looks like he just got out of the sunset strip from the 1980s, a rocker looking dude. Jenteal has a semblance of the girl next door, until you see her assets, and you realize that she’s a pro. The two have sex in the backstage area and there’s minimal lighting. It’s straight forward sex, with Sanders going in hard at one point and making Jenteal scream and moan in pleasure. If you’re a fan of rough, hard, fast sex, with a good instrumental, there you go. This scene has that, and it’s not a sensual landscape, with Zen’s direction moving away from the action so you don’t always see penetration. You know they are really doing it, but it’s an artistic landscape of a sex scene more than pure hardcore. That can go either way for people. Sanders seeks to get his here, and he is not looking to play passionate, and that leads to the money shot at around the 49 minute mark where he cums on Jenteal’s chest.

The scene quickly ends, and we are taken back to the reality that sanders is watching her dance on stage with a bunch of other dudes.

What occurs next, is one of the oddest ways to end a movie. Missy comes out and starts talking to Bubba King played by Bobby Vitale. Missy gets on her hands and knees and starts to blow Bubba King. She’s dressed up, has a little mole on her cheek, has small breasts, dirty blonde hair, and gets under a table to blow Bubba, while Jon Dough and Steven St. Croix watch Jenteal on stage. Jenteal gets into the face of Sanders and lets him give her oral, meanwhile Dough, St. Croix and Bubba start to get blown by missy overall. She’s blowing the guys under the table, and the show is just going on, without any major work. It’s an interesting scenario, but it makes no sense to the story, as a whole. After a bit of dancing, and the guys cum, Jenteal gets off the stage and pours a beer on Bubbas face! Then Jenteal says that she’s the boss and she is upset with Bubba because he was getting blown during her performance.

Bubba King gets mad, and then we are taken to a noir scene where Mike Horner is laughing. He points a fake gun at his moose, and laughs. We are then taken to the dressing room of Jenteal and there’s a fortune teller, a drag queen that says she will meet a man from Hollywood. But then, we are taken to a preview of the next movie, and that’s the end of this one.

I give “Stardust” a 3 out of 5.

In order to see the whole movie, you have to see more than just this movie. You have to see several “Stardust” movies, in order to get the whole story. This is ok, I guess. It’s got interesting sets, interesting comedic elements, and some great introductions to a larger story, but honesty, it’s lacking in the sex department.

Poonies (1985) Review

The Poonies (1985) Poster

I’m not always a fan of parody porno movies, but here and there they come into my queue for review and I have to review them. That’s exactly what is going down today, a review of a parody from 1985. So we go into our time machine, and go back to 1985 where the porno was different, and there were a lot more stories involved. In the case of this movie, we are going to be seeing a collection of stars in one place for a movie called, “Poonies”, a parody of “The Goonies”. The director here is Bruce Seven, and the distributor is Vivid Video. The stars of this movie include Amber Lynn, Peter North, Heather Wayne, Marc Wallice, Sharon Mitchell, Kevin James, Ted Wilson, Bionca, Herschel Savage, and Ami Rogers. Is this a good one to check out? Will you enjoy it? I don’t know, let’s find out when we venture back to 1985 to watch, the movie entitled, “Poonies”.

The starting point of this movie features the credits and an old Vivid Video Logo, which is awesome to see. We see Ginger Lynn walking into a farm wearing a mini-skirt, blue beret, and we hear someone singing. It’s hilarious to hear, as it’s a legit song. I don’t know who sings it, but it’s classic 1980s style music. “The Poonies are the way they are now”, wow. Anyways, the movie rolls the credits and we see clips from the interior of the ranch that people are on, and we see people walking around, and going from different locations. This was shot on film, and it shows, there’s a film grain to it, and it’s quite interesting to see overall. There’s a full list of people involved with this movie, it’s not just a random budgeted movie, this was played in theaters, and it shows from the starting line to the interior of the movie. I can imagine myself at the Pussycat Theater watching this one, and it’s a classic venture back to a different time.

The movie starts and we see Peter North and Amber Lynn stating that they have a meeting with the Poonies later. The two look at each other in a motel looking room, and they start to kiss. Amber Lynn kisses Peter North and starts to moan before taking out his package. Amber Lynn is a blonde haired woman with small breasts, good curves, and a slight tan. She immediately goes down on Peter North, and he’s not hard yet, but he grows as per usual. There’s a blow job sequence with romantic music, and the two switch positions to a point where Amber gets head as much as Peter does, but the director decides to change things up.

The director leaves the action to show Heather Wayne and Marc Wallice talking. Heather Wayne’s teeth are bad here, she’s a dirty blonde that looks a bit older. Marc Wallice is young, wears a cowboy hat and weird looking vest. A 1980s techno beat starts and Heather Wayne kisses Marc Wallice, and as the camera zooms out we realize that they are both nude. Wayne has dark pubic hair, the two are in the den of a badly designed condo, with terrible carpeting, next to a brick fireplace. Wallice starts with oral on Heather Wayne and she responds nicely to it. After a few minutes the two switch places and she gets on her knees to blow Wallice. It’s not a bad blow job by any means, but there’s a lot of hair here, and she works well with what she has, but Wallice isn’t huge. There’s a nice shot of Wayne bent over, which is lovely, but the director cuts.

The director hard cuts back to Peter North and Amber Lynn having sex. They are in doggy style by the time the camera switches and it’s not too bad of a scene. Lynn moans a great deal as North goes all in with a mechanical rush of blood, and romantic music as the backdrop. The two continue to have sex, and it’s not a bad scene, but it’s also not too sexy, as there’s some blocking and they are on a waterbed.

Another hard cut occurs and the director goes back to Heather Wayne and Marc Wallice having sex. I hate when directors do this, but I’m sure it’s because porno theaters didn’t want their patrons masturbating during the film, so they cut the sex scenes shorter and switch between hardcore shows, right? I don’t know. Wallice and Wayne are doing it reverse cowgirl and the camera shows off the moves. At one point Marc picks up Wayne and gives her a standup ride, which is impressive.

Right when you get impressed, we are taken to another hard cut. This cut sends us to reverse cowgirl with Amber Lynn and Peter North. After some time in the sex, things stop and North cums, although it’s not a big cum shot, and Amber Lynn finishes him off with a hand job.

Hard cut again and we are back with Marc Wallice and Heather Wayne in doggy style. After some back and forth traction here Wallice can’t hold on and cums on Wayne’s back and that’s it. He’s sweaty, they kiss, and the two smile afterwards. The camera fades and we are taken to a meeting of the Poonies up next.

So we get into a meeting of the Poonies and they discuss how their house is being taken by the bank. It’s that simple. Then they find out that the owner of the house has been kidnapped! They talk about finding an old treasure map, and then it’s shown off, etc. the story now features the Poonies trying to find their lost guy, and figure out how to save their house. A sense of adventure! The story of Poonies starts and we go ahead with more information.

We move along to another scene, after the Poonies have their meeting. It features Sharon Mitchell talking to Kevin James. Sharon ties up James, and then starts to strip in front of him. Sharon Mitchell has a thin body, short 1980s hair, a big nose, big facial features, and a round butt that’s quite good. She looks like a mom from the 1980s with a tight body, and it’s quite interesting to see. There’s a deep bass line, music starts, and Sharon Mitchell gets on her knees to blow Kevin James. The director shows a bit of the insertion to start, and the two start to have sex, but then there’s a hard cut, bugging the hell out of me.

The cut goes back to the Poonies meeting, and they all discuss a crazy lady, whom they elude is Sharon Mitchell. They are going to investigate and figure out what is going on and where their landlord is based on the map. Then we see a little strip tease with Ginger Lynn before the camera cuts back to the sex.

Back in a basement looking area we see Kevin James and Sharon Mitchell in reverse cowgirl. There’s no condoms, no one is shaved, and this is mechanical in nature. The two go through several positions, and it’s not a terrible sequence with the music, but in the middle of the sex another hard cut occurs!

With a hard cut we are taken to the den of the previous scene only this time we see Ginger Lynn, Heather Wayne, and Ted Wilson engaging in oral. The trio go through some positions of sex, and there’s a saxophone jazz tune in this one. Ginger Lynn is the star here, as she gets into the sex a lot more than Wayne at this point, and it seems as though Ted Wilson isn’t complaining at all as he goes all in with Lynn.

The director hard cuts from doggy style and we are sent back to the basement where Sharon Mitchell is having sex with Kevin James still. She moans a little and the two are working up a sweat, and it’s not too bad here. James asks his lover to give him a hand job and that’s it. The end of this scene.

After the sex, the camera cuts to the Poonies dorking around the compound. Nothing special here, no music just the actors going around some ranch.

Meanwhile, Bionca and Herschel Savage are in a room together and they start to make out for what seems like no reason. They start to make out a bit, then Bionca goes down to give savage a blow job. The two end up in a 69 position, and it gets hot fast. Bionca is a new comer to the porn world with this movie, and she’s a brunette with a thin body, small breasts, and not shaved. She has tan lines, and looks young here. Savage gets into the sex fast, and the two workout well together, moving and grinding with no condom, and it’s not a bad scene until the camera cuts!

The camera cuts and we see the Poonies with Sharon Mitchell. Mitchell has a shot gun pointed at them, and they are all busted. Sharon Mitchell asks them to start making out and get naked, which they oblige.

But then the camera cuts again and we are back with Bionca and Herschel Savage having sex in that crappy motel looking room. It’s actually pretty good sex, all things considered and the two really work as though they are trying to get off well. The camera watches you see two people really having sex, and it seems really good, every movement and the overall cumming of Bionca and moaning is great. This is the type of sex you’d want to have, and I’m enthralled. A great sequence of sex is hard to find in 1980s releases, but this works very well and the two are legitimately passionate about the sex, with Bionca riding on top and Savage going as hard as he can with her in rhythm.

There’s a hard cut and we are taken to a blow job occurring in the basement. This is where Mitchell has commanded the Poonies to get into the action together. With this sex scene we see Sharon Mitchell with Peter North, Ami Rodgers and Marc Wallice all having sex in the same room. This is a clumsy group sex scene with the director not really knowing what to point towards, so he just kind of gives you a random glance at the blow jobs that are occuring here and there. Nothing really crazy here. Both women are brunettes, but Ami Rodgers has large breasts, and they are all natural.

A swift cut from the director and we see reverse cowgirl with Savage and Bionca, and it’s back to passionate sex. If you could just splice their scene together for the sex it showcases an amazing sequence. It’s the best sex scene I’ve seen in a long time.

A hard cut again and I’m annoyed, but we are back to the four some, and it’s your traditional sex scene. One couple is doing it sideways, another is doing doggy and that’s it. This goes on for some time before both guys can’t hold on and cum on the women and that’s it. They just cum and that’s all she wrote, so to speak. They are all sweaty, they seem to have been spent in this one, and it’s not a bad scene, mind you, it’s just not great either. The camera work is clumsy, the sex is lazy, and it’s mechanical at best.

Everyone puts their clothes back on and the cowboy dude grabs a shotgun and is told it’s not loaded.

We are taken to another scene, and here we see Bionca, Ginger Lynn, and Heather Wayne making out after Ginger Lynn masturbates. The scene turns into a threeway lesbian sex scene. It’s an easy, simple scene with lots of oral, fingers, and a rockin beat. I hate using the word traditional to describe these scenes sometimes, but there’s not much to it. Two of the three women are really into this one, and the other is just going along for the most part. The director must’ve told them to just go at it. Ginger Lynn is nearly upside down with her legs up in the air at one point which is a unique visual, but other than that, this is a simple, and sometimes mundane sex scene with a lot of blocking. If you like watching women give oral, then you’ll like this one for sure.

After the sex, we see Ginger Lynn answering the phone and finding out that the crew has been kidnapped and held against their will and that she needs to come rescue them. So that’s where she goes, to see where they are at.

Ginger Lynn finally shows up and finds Kevin James all tied up. She unties him and they start to talk, before they kiss. Ginger Lynn and Kevin James start to make out, and she gets on her knees to give oral. Ginger Lynn here has curly hair, and is in her prime, while Kevin James soaks up all of the work that Lynn gives him. He goes all in with her, no condom, and Lynn moans a bit, looks back at him, and really gets into the sex. It’s not a terrible scene, mind you, but it is not Lynn’s best. James is adequate at best, but he’s far from Lynn’s best partner and it shows through the sex scene. At the 1 hour and 11 minute mark, things speed up a little and Lynn moans a bit more, but it’s obvious that she’s not that into it, and you can tell that James is trying his best to keep his hard on, only to cum into Lynn’s mouth.

After this scene, we are taken to the ranch where the Poonies are found safe and sound. The story ties up and they get to keep their home, and end it all with a big orgy that features everyone in the cast. There’s an orgy that features Ami Rodgers, Bionca, Ginger Lynn, Heather Wayne, Sharon Mitchell, Herschel Savage, Kevin James, Marc Wallice, Peter North, and Ted Wilson. Everyone gets naked here and just goes to town. There’s no rhyme or reason for this, and we get the Poonies theme song going again. It’s a trope that is in a lot of 1980s movies that were sent to porno theaters. The orgy is a mix of sex with multiple partners, and nothing really stands out for me. There’s not a lot of sound, the music takes over, but there are several cum shots and several sex endings, so maybe that’s something to consider? Overall, not a great scene, but not a terrible one either. It’s an orgy with bad direction, lousy music, and all of the stars, so it’s functional, but it’s scatter brained as well.

I give “Poonies” a 2 out of 5.

Despite my attraction to Ginger Lynn, this is a terrible movie that has only one saving grace, being a parody of “The Goonies”, movie which is a classic. If you are a collector and must see all of the parodies or want to watch all Ginger Lynn movies, here you go, another one to add to your collection. Otherwise, you probably won’t care to see this one often. Although, Herschel Savage and Bionca do a great job in their scene, which can be deemed a classic if you ask me.

Out of Love (1995) Review

"Out of Love" (1995) Poster

We step back in our time machine to review another porno, this time we go to 1995. In the mid-1990s there were a lot of beautiful women showing up in porn, and it wasn’t just the girl next door types. Some of my favorite actresses of all time come from this era, and 1995 was a good year in my opinion. For this movie, we are going to be going to 1995 to review a film that was directed by Paul Norman. It was distributed by Vivid Video, and it stars some of the bigger names in porno up to this point. The movie is called, “Out of Love”. The stars of this movie include, Alex Dane, Brittany Andrews, Jill Kelly, Joey Silvera, Kirsty Waay, Nikki Tyler, Peter North, Sindee Coxx, and Tom Byron. You just can’t escape Joey Silvera and Tom Byron can you? I hope one day I can interview Tom Byron, I bet he has some stories to tell about the many movies he’s been in. Of course, Peter North and Silvera are also great ones, and my favorite actress Jill Kelly is in this one. But is the movie any good? Let’s find out as we review “Out of Love” from 1995.

We open our movie with Joey Silvera and a blonde talking about marriage. They discuss how they were not in love anymore, and there’s a flash back to a time where they were having sex. This is a quick romp, nothing spectacular. They talk about how the sex was still good, but they weren’t in love any more. Silvera’s acting is quite good here, and it’s second to none. He can actually act, while the lady with him, just isn’t that good. I’m assuming it’s Nikki Tyler. The two continue to discuss things and then the camera fades and we go to another scene.

In a bedroom that looks like a modern bedroom inside a warehouse somewhere, we see three women talking a bit. After a bit of discourse, soft romantic jazz starts playing and the trio start making out. The women here are Brittany Andrews, Nikki Tyler, and Sindee Coxx. Each one is blonde, each one has enhanced breasts, and they each have tight bodies. What follows is a threesome that features sensual oral, lots of kissing, breast play, and moaning. It doesn’t last too long, and the women keep most of their lingerie on, but they do a great deal of fingering, and oral, and things like that, making it a standard scene, with no real payoff.

The scene ends and we are back to Tyler and Silvera discussing their marriage. This then goes to a story where Jill Kelly and Joey Silvera are talking in a bedroom. Silvera and Kelly here are great together, and the acting is taken up a notch. Honestly, 1995 Jill Kelly is one of the most beautiful women to me. She has a California blonde look, nice breasts, tan lines, and blonde hair. She’s a fantasy that I could never get in my life, and this is before she had breast implants. I’d love to interview her today, but alas, that’s not going to happen.

Silvera and Jill Kelly start to make out in the bathroom of what looks to be a very terribly designed hotel. There’s some terrible instrumental music that begins to play, and the two start to get really familiar, taking off their clothing and starting to kiss a bit more overall. There’s a lot of blocking in this sex scene, and the cameras can’t really show you a lot that you’d expect from a porno. You do see Silvera giving Kelly oral, and using his hands and fingers, but you don’t see a lot of the penetration here. The two do have sex, and it’s not a bad scene if you’re a fan of Kelly, but overall, you can’t really see what’s going on. It’s almost like watching it on the Spice Network, and that kind of ruins the scene for me. Jill Kelly moans a great deal, and she looks great, even though Silvera doesn’t last that long overall. It’s not a great scene at all honestly.

We go back to the conversation that Silvera is having with Tyler and they talk about infidelity.

The scene switches to another scene, and it shows Tom Byron and Tyler hanging out. Tom Byron is in his punk rock, rocker phase with long hair, facial hair, and more. He tells Tyler to get a blanket and pillow from the closet as he and Alex Dane retreat to a bedroom in what appears to be an apartment.

The director hard cuts and we are taken to a bedroom, with simplistic design, where Tom Byron starts to give Alex Dane head. For this sex scene Alex Dane and Tom Byron start to get familiar fast, Dane immediately nude here. Alex Dane is a brunette with a thin waist, large breasts, pearl necklace, and simplistic makeup. She looks like a professional, wearing black stockings and high heels, and gets into the action with Byron quickly. After some oral on Dane, Byron gets sucked off in a hard blow job scene that gets him quite hard, fast. There’s some terrible techno playing during this one, and the two go through multiple positions of sex. It’s not great, it’s not terrible, but it seems to lack a little bit of passion until there’s a point where Byron goes for anal. When he goes into anal, Dane moans a bit more, and seems to really get into the sex, while Byron looks to be in mechanical mode. This works for what it is, but the two don’t share nearly as much chemistry as you’d expect. The framing of the sex is good, with good lighting overall, and interesting momentum towards the end, where you get a money shot from Byron onto Dane’s back.

After the sex, we end up going back to the initial couple talking about their divorce some more. They discuss how jobs have changed, life has changed, and there’s a bit of depression involve. Tyler gets mad at Silvera for painting and being less stressed now than before. The two seem to start to warm up a bit. Then we are taken to another room where Joey Silvera is drawing. He has live models and they are being painted by Silvera as he watches them have sex.

There’s a bit of art to this scene, mainly Silvera just directing a couple into sexual positions so that they can be painted. Kirsty Waay and Peter North begin their scene with a blow job in what looks to be an attic. They are both nude to start. Kirsty Waay is a redhead with large breasts, and you already know Peter North. Some soft piano music starts and the blow job continues, with a bit of sensuality, and focus on the act, nothing too complex. Meanwhile, Joey Silvera is painting them doing it. The two continue to move forward with the sex, the piano music starting to get loud, and that’s when you see North has put on a condom. This condom is white as snow, and it stands out like a sore thumb in this sequence. Waay is an interesting model, but she lacks passion during the sex, meanwhile this condom is driving me nuts. I’m a fan of safe sex, and safe sex in movies, but here it just looks like a giant white dildo. It’s so unnerving, and it just seems unnatural to me. The two have sex, but it’s somewhat basic in nature, with only a few positions and mostly just blocking because they aren’t supposed to be professionals. After some changing of positions, North cums on Waay and that’s that. Nothing too complex here, and nothing really to say other than it works as a sex scene, and not much else. It’s not very passionate at all, and it’s mechanical in nearly every phase.

After the sex we are taken to a lawyer’s office where Joey Silvera and Nikki Tyler are finalizing a divorce. They fill out paperwork and there’s a lawyer there to finalize everything. That’s the end. The two end up talking about how they could just be friends. Then Nikki Tyler tells Silvera that he’s the best sex she’s ever had, and that prompts the two to go to a bedroom.

For this scene, the two are in a random house, lighting is good, but it looks like your average home. There’s heavy techno music in the background of this one, and it’s really annoying. It’s the worst music for a scene that is supposed to have a sense of passion. Silvera’s moans are louder than Tyler’s to start, and it’s funny that the audio was chosen in this manner. Nikki Tyler starts things off with a blow job that is somewhat fast, and passionate. Silvera switches positions and gives Tyler oral. Nikki Tyler is a tall blonde with very large breasts, a tan, thin waist, and trimmed pubic hair. After the oral another song plays, and this one is a bit more tolerable. The sex begins and we see that Silvera has put on a condom for this scene. It’s a clear one, so it’s not nearly as intrusive as what Peter North was wearing. This is a slow moving sex scene with Tyler asking Silvera to do things, and Silvera obliging. The two go through the motions of sex and honestly, it’s a bit like a one hour session with an escort, rushed, and lacking any sort of connection. Silvera doesn’t even last that long before he cums on Tyler’s back, and that’s it. Silvera’s a legend, don’t get me wrong, but in this scene he’s just passable, while Tyler is an amazing looking woman in contrast, and yet only gets a little bit of action. It’s a scene that works, but it’s far from complete, as you totally know that Tyler didn’t get off here.

I give “Out of Love” a 2 out of 5.

There’s a lot of problems that I found with this movie. It lacked a sense of passion, the sex was bland at times, and there was an obvious disconnect with the director and his actors. Aside from the setting, and some interesting acting from Silvera, I didn’t find what I was looking for at all. The Jill Kelly scene especially was disappointing, but overall, it’s a movie that a couple may enjoy, but it’s not a great one at all.

You can purchase and stream "Out of Love" by clicking here. I gave it a 2, but reviewers on Adult DVD Empire gave it a 4.25! So maybe I am seeing things differently. Find out for yourself.