Priceless (1995) Review

Priceless (1995) Poster 

Today we head the year 1995 for a movie that was no doubt featured on the Spice Network. This movie has a “who’s who” of mid 1990s porno actors, and it is an interesting premise if you’re into film noir. Although, this is not in black and white. I know, I just contradicted myself, and it happens. This movie was distributed by Wicked Pictures, and was directed by Jim Enright. It is called, “Priceless” and it was released in 1995 as a 99 minute feature. The stars of this movie include, Holly Body, Jenna Jameson, Jonathan Morgan, Krista Maze, Misty Rain, Peter North, Roxanne Hall, Sophia Ferrari, Steven St. Croix, and Tony Tedeschi. There are only six scenes here, and it’s very much a plot driven movie. If you’re a fan of any of these actors, then you probably have this movie on your radar, and if not, you most likely want to know how Jenna Jameson did with Peter North. If you read her book, you’ll note that she stated that Peter North ripped her open with his penis, and it was one of the hottest and toughest ones to work with because of size. That’s what she wrote in her autobiography, so here we go, going into a movie where the two worked together.

We start with a narration from Peter North. We see him driving in Los Angeles in a red convertible. He’s a private detective, and he talks about how his business has been quite tough to work with. He states that he doesn’t have a lot of money, and that his office was a crappy place in Hollywood. There’s a bit of film grain on this one, and at times you can see the camera in the opening elements, but overall, you get a good sense of production. It’s about as good as a soap opera. When Peter North’s character arrives at his office in Hollywood, he walks in and there waiting for him is a woman in leopard print workout gear. HE takes his coat off and doesn’t say a word, because this is going to turn into sex, no doubt.

Holly Body and Peter North start to make out at his desk inside a standard office set. Holly Body has medium length hair and is tanned, with large enhanced breasts. She is a good looking California woman with a tan, and a tight body. She isn’t that tall, and complements Peter North quite well overall. He doesn’t get hard right away, but Body starts to get on her knees, disrobes North and starts to blow him within 3 minutes of the movie starting. There’s a smooth jazz soundtrack underneath the sounds of North and Body’s movements. After Body gives North oral for a while, he goes to take her clothing off, and reveals that she has black heels on to make her look taller. They get on his desk and he starts to move down her body. At the 6 minute mark it sounds like someone farts, and Body breaks character, which is a funny blooper to see. She’s not completely shaved, trimmed, and has just a landing strip that’s been manicured a bit. North goes in for oral, and the music intensifies as you hear the two moan a bit as they go through the preliminary motions of sex. North enters Boddy slowly, and it’s apparent that she’s either not wet, or she’s really tight and he’s very large. Either way, he starts slowly and then carries on faster at the desk. After some time there, they move to a brown couch and Body’s extra large breasts hang out as she rides on top of North. She’s not that loud, and North moans a bit more than she does. There’s no condoms here, and the music is quite compelling, looping like a video game as the two have sex in a damp office. This is a slow moving sex scene, mind you, neither one sweating it, and just going through the motions of sex. It gave me half a chub at one point, but that’s because Holly Body is quite gorgeous. The two go through a few positions before Peter North delivers a world famous money shot all over Body’s breasts. It’s a quality load and honestly the best part of this sex scene. Body and North just didn’t seem to have a lot of chemistry is all, but it’s a workable scene none the less.

The scene ends and the two start to put their clothes on. Holly Body reminds me of Tiffany Amber Theisen. It turns out that she’s an escort. Jenna Jameson shows up at the office and begins to talk to Peter North about how she needs some help with an investigation. Jenna is a horrible actress, of course. North is a far better actor here, and that’s a testament to the length of time he’s been in the business. Jenna of course is young, tight, and thin. She comes in with a bright green business suit on, with a mini skirt that lets her legs show off. She comes in and asks for North to investigate that she is innocent of killing her boss. She says she has no money, and that if she’s found innocent she will pay him. North then agrees to take the gig, and the two start to talk about the bigger plot. This is a fully plot driven movie, mind you. The two talk and the director shows up two women talking on a couch, and then we hear that they were all part of a larger story in which they were going to get a promotion alongside Jameson’s character, and that some wanted it more than others.

The scene shifts and we see Misty Rain, Roxanne Hall, and Tony Tedeschi engaged in oral sex. Tony is wearing sunglasses while the two women double up on his penis. Roxanne Hall and Misty Rain are both brunettes and they both have a great deal of make up on. The cameras goes in deep on what they are doing, and it almost looks surreal, like it’s too close, but the women seem to really like what they are doing, and Tony is not complaining of course. I’m surprised he didn’t blow his load during this sequence, as I’d probably have been through the roof a few times. Hall and Rain both are starts in their own rights, with firm bodies, tanned, dark eyes, luscious lips, completely shaved, and really loud throughout. They moan a great deal as they take turns getting action from Tony. Tony Tedeschi is an allstar, getting hadr quickly, and entering both women at separate times while even dishing out oral on one at one point as well. This is a sequence of three people that seem to actually like what they are doing, and the chemistry seems real as the three engage in sex. The moaning reaches a bit orchestral points at around 30 minutes, and one has to wonder if they aren’t just playing it up, but hey, it’s porno right? After some back and forth, going between women and normal sex, the camera fades a bit and we go to the money shot where Tony delivers a load onto the chest of one of the women and that’s the end of this scene. A good sequence, with the camera very close to the action all the time, and not really straying away from it, which is a bit odd considering. You could barely see the set.

We go back to Jenna Jameson and Peter North talking and getting the story forward. We see Tony in glasses and a gun appears, and boom, Tony’s dead. Peter North and Jenna discuss more about the case and it seems like Jameson is going to be going to jail. But North accepts the case and we start to get back into the action.

Peter North drives to a random apartment in Hollywood. He drives a red convertible, and narrates the next step. The apartment complex is your standard Hollywood location, nothing crazy, just an apartment complex with screen doors, long staircases, and doors that face the outside world. We go from the exterior to the interior and it looks like a showroom floor for a furniture shop. Peter North goes in with a trench coat and starts to grill what I assume is Misty Rain. She then talks about how she had sex with Jenna Jameson, and we cut to their lesbian sex that occurred one day. (Remember this is a murder mystery)

The scene shifts and we are shown candlelight on a set with a green and beige couch. It’s striped, and the women here wear lingerie. The two women are Misty Rain and Jenna Jameson kissing and rubbing up against each other for lesbian sex. The lighting is great here, and the sequence isn’t half bad. The two have stellar chemistry together and great technique. One thing that men can learn from these lesbian scenes sometimes is how to perform oral. It’s not fast and to the point, it’s slow, it teases, and moves a great deal around the body of the woman. Jenna shakes, contracts, moans, and even screams at one point. If you’re a fan of hers you’ll love the back and forth that she has with Misty Rain as the two really get into the role here, and the camera is just there to capture it all. It’s definitely one of the better non-toy lesbian sex scenes that I’ve seen in a long time. Of course, I take that notion back because at the 43 minute mark or so there’s a double headed dildo introduced and the two share it, which is quite the visual. The music is a smooth jazz loop, and the lighting is great altogether, making this scene quite enjoyable for the stars and the audience alike. This goes on for a while, and then we fade back to the interview with North and Rain.

After the meeting we go with Jenna Jameson and Peter North to the Psychic Eye business. It’s in Hollywood and the two are in broad daylight. They simply park and go into the psychic’s place of work and we go inside to see what’s going on. Jenna Jameson doesn’t want to go through with the fortune reading, and she ends up having to deal with it. Peter North cajoles her to do it, and she obliges.

We go into the psychic’s area and we end up seeing a film noir element. Jenna Jameson and Peter North are in jail, with a black and white showcase. This is the best part of the movie, and the two act really well. I’m shocked at how well this scene was shot, and the jail set. Jenna Jameson, acts very well here, and I am surprised. I loved it. The throwback to cinema noir is fascinating. After reading Jameson’s palm, the psychic states that North didn’t save Jameson in a past life. The two leave the Psychic’s office and North narrates some more, pushing the rest of the movie’s plot a bit. What’s funny is that at the 52 minute mark, we see a man looking at them, and he’s smoking, and doesn’t even realize that it’s Peter North and Jenna Jameson in front of him. Funny how that works.

The scene moves back to Peter North, and he narrates. He talks about the past, and shows that a murder occurred in the past and the woman looks exactly like Jenna Jameson. It turns out that the psychic was right! Such a cool tie in. I should’ve grabbed some popcorn at this point because the plot was thickening, and the sex was secondary to the plot of this movie. If you’re really into plot based movies, then hell, this is going to work well for you because it’s not all about the sex, and there’s a lot of plot and narration that you have to get through to finish this one.

Peter North returns to the psychic. The psychic says that North has to wait so that he can finish reading someone’s fortune. He talks to Jonathan Morgan. Jonathan Morgan is funny character actor in porn. The psychic tells him that he may not live to enjoy the money that he has garnered. The psychic says that he’s going to meet a dark haired woman and they are going to get it on. Then comes in a heavy bass line, and a jazzy beat, because we are going to get some sex. Meanwhile, Peter North is in the waiting room, but hey, who cares, right?

Sophia Ferrari plays the psychic here. I forgot to mention that earlier. Anyways, she disrobes in front of Jonathan Morgan and the two are destined to have sex on the psychic’s table. Jonathan Morgan and Sophia Ferrari start with oral, and she moans with delight as he goes in for oral. Sophia Ferrari is a latino woman, has a bit of trimmed pubic hair, black hair, an accent, and breast implants. She’s loud, and really moves with Jonathan’s movements here. After she gives him a bit of oral, and really gets wet, we see things progress to sex. It should be noted that at the 58 minute mark, Morgan isn’t all the way hard, as though he came already, but he stays in the scene anyway. This is a weird director’s decision, but we’ll go with it I guess. The scene keeps switching between the sex and Peter North in the waiting room. After some time, Ferrari and Morgan start to have sex on the table of the psychic, and they go through a few positions. It’s standard sex, with just a few moans here and there rather than the loud starting line. They seem to lack real chemistry, and Ferrari is just going through the motions of sexual intercourse. Morgan of course is a good guy here, so he delivers, but overall this scene lacks a bit of chemistry. At a certain point there’s anal, and that lasts a bit, with Morgan really diving into the role. The anal aspect is interesting to look at, but eventually he finishes on Ferrari’s tongue and she licks it up, and that’s the end. She spits it out on herself, and that’s it. The scene ends and we go back to the front where Peter North is waiting.

In the psychic’s office we go back to the past. We again see a noir scene with Jenna Jameson and Peter North and the two discuss a different case. A time when Jameson’s husband was cheating on her. North narrates and he discusses the case at the time. We go back and forth to North and the psychic and it’s fascinating to see. This plot driven movie goes into the cinema noir, hard boiled detective case. He describes a case of love at first sight, and how the two ended up in a car making out. This is where we see Jenna Jameson and Peter North making out in a cinema noir style focused scene. They stop themselves before they have sex, and while North narrates, we get more of the story from the 1940s.

While in the psychic’s office we once again go to the past, after a transition to the present where North proclaims his love for Jenna’s character. In the past, we hear a saxophone play and some keys and drums before Jenna walks into a room and sees her husband cheating on her.

In a throwback to cinema noir, we see a complete black and white scene featuring Krista Maze and Steven St. Croix having sex. Krista Maze is a thin, natural breasted, brunette, and St. Croix is a mainstay in porn from the 1990s. Krista Maze reminds me of the girls that used to frequent Santa Monica malls when I was a teenager. Jenna’s character watches this all go on as the saxophone goes wild, and it’s an interesting music choice to the sex. The sex starts slowly, with oral between both performers. This is a very sensual and slow moving starting line. No condoms used here, and St. Croix’s signature speed picks up at around the one hour and 15 minute mark. The two have good chemistry, having sex on a table in a restaurant. There’s authentic sounds of sex, and beads of sweat forming on the two as they go through the motions of different positions. On a bar stool, after some time, St. Croix goes in hard and you really see Krista Maze cum, right before St. Croix pulls out and cums on her pubic region, which is nearly all shaved. It’s a scene that is quite good, and the two have great chemistry.

We then get more narration from Peter North. We hear more of the story and he visits the apartment from earlier with Misty Rain. He uncovers the case! He points at Roxanne Hall, and then goes through the motions of his best “Columbo” routine, asking just one more question. He acts very well here while the women aren’t that great, just standing there and receiving the information. After this we transition to another scene.

Here we find Peter North and Jenna Jameson at an alley behind a night club. The same one where the original murder occurred from the 1940s. North talks to Jameson’s character about the bigger issue, and then he tells her about how he figured out the case and much more. The two talk on the hood of his car, and she reaches in and kisses north.

Peter North and Jenna Jameson start to make out on the hood of a car in an alley with bright lights and an interesting motif. These two have a little chemistry together, and it’s certainly a good overall sex scene. If you’re a fan of Jameson, then you’ll know that it takes her a little while to start cumming and getting really into the sex. In this one, she doesn’t get all in until the two get on the floor for doggy in which Jameson starts to really scream. North’s cardio helps him here because he does a majority of the work and doesn’t even break a sweat. After a lengthy session Jameson pushes her breasts together and he cums on her. The two kiss, as he cums a load on her and the film fades to black, and we see the credits role. There’s not much to be said about this one, it’s a good ending scene, and the two seem to get into the sex towards the end, while at the beginning it’s a bit mechanical overall. It’s an interesting little romantic, plot driven gem with some interesting photography, noir elements, and Jameson’s acting in the jail cell makes it worth it. The photos from this shoot are incredible, mind you, and it’s fascinating to see how beautiful Jameson can be in the still shots when she’s not engaged in sex.

I give “Priceless” a 5 out of 5.

After mulling it over, I have to say that this is the perfect type of porno movie for my personal tastes. It’s plot driven, attention is given to that aspect, and the sex is better than most. The opening scene alone is quite good, but there’s an enhancement of talent that goes through the film, until we get to that ending scene where Jameson and North really do well together. While the sex isn’t super long at times, it still has enough function to make this worth checking out.

You can purchase “Priceless” or stream it by clicking here and seeing what a 5 out of 5 star porno movie is all about. I don’t give many 5 out of 5 ratings, but this one did a lot of great things to make it worth checking out.

Ramb-Ohh 2: The Sex Platoon (1987) Review

Ramb-Ohh II: The Sex Platoon Cover

A while back I reviewed the parody porno movie called Rambo-ohh! And it was awful. Well, it had a few moments, but it wasn’t exactly living up to the source material, and honestly, how can it? It’s a porno, right? You can read my review of the first Rambo-ohh! By clicking here. Today we are going to visit the 1987 sequel that stars Peter North, and it’s a direct sequel to the original. This movie is called “Rambo-ohh 2: The Sex Platoon” and it was released in 1987. This movie stars Alicia Monet, Megan Leigh, Tiffany Storm, Tracey Adams, Billy Dee, Peter North, Mike Horner, and Jerry Butler. The starting of the movie is lower quality than the original, as it is not filmed with “film” cameras, but rather looks to be direct to VHS or Beta Max quality. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s definitely noticeable.

The movie starts with Peter North running with a platoon of women. They are scantily clad and he’s got camouflage pants and that’s it. The credits start and he commands that they follow his lead and then run 5 miles.

After the credits we go to a den. In the den there is Alicia Monet in a nice dress, and Peter North in a bright blue polo. He is just sitting there and the two start talking. One thing leads to another and Alicia Monet disrobes, and gets on her knees to start sucking off Peter North. This first sex scene occurs within the first 5 minutes of the movie, reminding you exactly what you’re watching. It is a standard starting line with Peter North not immediately hard, but getting there as Monet works things out to a standing ovation. Monet is a tall, brunette with curly hair, and Peter North is still young with a mullet, and what Jenna Jameson called a soda can penis that ripped her up. The camera is clean here, no harsh editing, and is actually remastered or something because the lighting in this den is far more modern than the original movie, and is actually a testament to whomever did the editing and production. The blow job is good, there’s no music here, just the sounds of sucking, moaning, and breathing. The scene goes from Peter North getting blown to Monet laying on her shoulders with her legs split, and North dropping in like an anchor into her. I am not aware of this position’s name, but it’s unique, and it is certainly not something that many couples are doing. Monet has blue eyes, isn’t completely shaved, and has natural breasts. Peter North is completely shaved, from what I can tell, but he keeps his polo on during this scene, concentrating while Monet moans and gets done well. There’s sweat in this one, no condom, and a set that looks like your uncle’s den, complete with lazy boy and fireplace. There are multiple positions here, and eventually North cums on a nice load on Monet’s pubic mound, which she rubs out and into herself, in a glistening array of finality. This is one hell of a finish, but the director cuts to North making vinegar strokes, and throws me off. Otherwise, this ending is quite sensual, leaving North completely spent.

The scene changes, and shows Monet using a knife to tell North that she has what she came for, which allows North to pull a gun. He says don’t let your guard down and don’t bring a knife to a gun fight. He then removes his polo and then he turns to the camera and says to be ready for the big exam at dawn.

We go to dawn, and Peter North is in camo. He says that they all have to seduce males and get their secret papers.

The next scene features Megan Leigh crying about how she’s not like other girls and that she can’t do what others do. Mike Horner is the guy that she’s supposed to seduce, and he gives up his papers fast, and tells Leigh that she doesn’t have to work so hard. The two then start to disrobe and we start the next sex scene.

Megan Leigh and Mike Horner start with a little foreplay, no music, and a makeshift bed in a warehouse setting. The lighting is once again good, and it’s an interesting choice to only have the sounds of sex. Megan Leigh is a blonde haired woman with natural breasts, painted finger nails, and partially shaved pubic region. She makes a lot of noise throughout, and Mike Horner looks a lot like a SNL alumnus. The opening blow job from Megan Leigh is sensual, slow, and focused. She gives a good deep throat at one point, and this scene looks like something that is more modern than anything else. She uses her hands, she strokes Horner well, and honestly, the two have a lot of chemistry together, and it shows. This is no doubt one of the better starts to a sex scene, and a spectacular blow job to start the sex. After that, Horner gets on top and starts to move his hips into Megan Leigh. Leigh’s moans are a bit much considering, but the close up of the insertion shows you that she’s wet and responding well to Mike Horner’s pushing. At a certain point they go into doggy style, and Horner looks to be in work mode while Leigh is just trying to stay up and into the whole thing. They seem to lose steam around the 27-minute mark and are out of sync having sex, with Leigh’s sounds getting more theatrical for what seems like no reason if you ask me. Horner eventually cums on her butt and she goes back to pull on it a little, and that’s the end. This is just an average sex scene with a good opening. The blow job leads to a sex scene that is a bit uninspired if you ask me.

The scene fades, and we go to another section of the final exam for the women.

Moving along we see Alicia Monet seducing Jerry Butler. This scene is outdoors and has no music as the other scenes. The two have sex under a makeshift tent, and it’s straightforward. Jerry Butler plays an Indian guru, and says that she cannot have sex with him. Monet then drops to her knees and starts to blow Butler. He quickly changes his tune, and the two engage in another test for the larger goal of the plot. The two go into 69 at one point, and they just go at it very hard. The reverse cowgirl sequence at the 35 minute mark, for instance, is quite good. Monet has wild curly brown hair, and all natural big breasts. She seems to get into this role quite a bit, and really gives Butler a ride. Multiple positions are done here, and eventually Jerry Butler cums on Monet’s lower back and butt, and that’s the end. Nothing too crazy, but Monet’s performance is quite good, and Butler staying in character is funny as well. The two tire out and then just lay together for a second until Monet steals some documents from him.

The next scene starts and it’s Tiffany Storm trying to steal from Peter North. North finds her, and she takes off her top. Tiffany Storm has large natural breasts, long brown hair, and of course Peter North has signature mullet in this scene. This is a scene that has a military set, and the two go into the action fast. Peter North and Tiffany Storm start to make out and go into oral quite quickly. Both dressed in camouflage, inside a tent with good lighting. Storm gives a good blow job, although a bit slow, and after some oral given to her, North takes down his pants, but leaves them at his ankles and starts to go in sideways on Tiffany Storm. She is not shaved, no condoms used, and the two work out some frustration with relative ease. She seems into it for the most part, moaning, and holding onto the bed as hard as she can as North goes forward with thrusting as much and as hard as he can. After multiple positions, the two land on doggy style for the finale, and the director shows Peter North’s face for his vinegar strokes, and eventually the money shot approaches where North cums on Tiffany Storm’s big breasts.

The scene ends, and we are taken to a lakeside area. There is a tall blonde haired woman looking bored when a man approaches from under the water. He captures her, and she gets scared. Billy Dee threatens Tracey Adams and asks for some sex before she dies. This scene is slow moving, the woman keeping an accent, and Billy Dee giving oral because he doesn’t get nearly as hard when Tracey Adams gives him oral. He eventually gets it up and sticks it in, as the two have sex on the underside of a small boat. This is a little sensual at times, Dee never really pushing too hard and Adams not moaning too loudly. It’s a tame scene with a lot of hair, and just normal sex. It’s kind of boring actually. Once again there are multiple positions and eventually Tracey Adams, looking like Traci Lords lets Dee finish on the boat as he pulls out for the finish. She then sprays him with something and he falls out cold. She then goes for the documents she’s suppose to steal and that’s the end of this scene.

Up next we are taken to a raft in the middle of a lake. It’s here that Tiffany Storm and Jerry Butler start the next scene. Storm goes for a blow job immediately and Butler responds by getting really hard and just letting her do her magic. After some oral, Butler gets Storm to get on her back and he goes in on her. She has large breasts, and the scene is outside, and gets done quickly. Butler and Storm seem to be in work mode for the most part, but there are a few moments where you swear that the two are unique lovers, not “working” but rather just enjoying themselves together. A couple of standard positions and then doggy style occurs, and Storm steals some documents while Butler eventually cums on her back and that’s that. It’s standard porno sex, nothing too exciting after an initially good blow job.

I give Rambo-ohh 2: The Sex Platoon a 2 out of 5.

I appreciated the lighting and remastering done for this release, if that was done at all. I also appreciated the all natural looking women, and the sex for the most part. However, much of the sex was uninspired, and lazy. However, there’s enough here to squeak one out, and while this is better than the first movie, it still isn’t grand. It’s a porno that has nothing to do with the original movie or source material, and honestly, is just an interesting porno to see after you’ve seen the first one. I liked it for the most part, but it’s not great at all. A 2 out of 5 is generous all things considered.

The Pillowman (1988) Review

Pillowman Poster (1988) 

Today we are going back to a John Leslie directed movie. This movie in particular was released by VCA, and stars some major people. I’m going to say, that the diverse cast alone is one reason to see it, and the second? Well, the second is the fact that I used to see a lot of this poster around my local rental store. You see, I didn’t go to Blockbuster, I went to Asian owned video stores, and they would always have a well stocked porno section behind red curtains. So, I would see “The Pillowman” posters every time I went in, and never got to see the movie, until today. Today, we are going back in time to 1988, for a movie directed by John Leslie, and starring lots of great names, including the following. Chanel Price, Peter North, Brandy Wine, Tammy Reynolds, Joey Silvera, Aja, F.M. Bradley, Renee Morgan, Tony Montana, and Britt Morgan. Now that we know what movie we are reviewing, of course titled The Pillowman, and we know the stars, let’s get into this movie from 1988 to the future!

The first thing that I liked was the font and titles shown for the movie. The movie starts with the title and then runs the credits, and we see a man with a letter jacket from high school, snooping around a home. He has a flash light, and we see him just looking around, obviously trying to be inconspicuous, as he wants to rob the place. The lights abruptly come on, and standing there is a blonde with a revolver. She asks, “what do you think you’re doing?”, and it’s Peter North with his hands up, and a gun to his chest! Chanel Price is holding the gun, has her hair up, and full makeup. She’s taller than Peter North, but maybe cause she has heels on. North says nothing, as a gun is on him, and Price starts to grab him, and see if he’s packing, to which she is surprised, cause she feels his penis. She pulls down North’s pants, and honestly, it’s not that big. It’s flaccid. It’s a little penis. But of course, that leads to sex.

Chanel Price, a tall, milf looking blonde, in a white dress starts to blow Peter North from a flaccid state to get him hard, and he grows fast. Fully erect, Peter North has been said to be very thick, and big, and of course we all know about his epic cum shots. I recall that Jenna Jameson states in her book that he was the first major porn star to open her up and really cause some pain, cause he was so big. Here, he’s the right size for Price, as she starts to strip him and get him to a point of sexual conquest. Chanel Price is a big girl, she’s tall, amazon features, large breasts, and is completely shaved. She towers over North, and goes into reverse cow girl to start. The set here screams 1980s, with a lot of bad drapes, terrible furnishings, rugs, and what appears to be a den in your uncle’s basement. Music kicks in as the two start to have sex, and it’s not that great. Price takes over the whole way, and she is truly a big, tall, girl. Looking up some info, I found out that Chanel Price is 6 foot 3 inches tall, and she totally looks it here, towering over Peter North. However, she gets into the sex, and if you are a fan of both tall blonde women, and Peter North, you’re going to love this one. The sex goes forward and eventually Price gives North a blow job until he cuts in her face, and that’s the end.

After the sex, Price says that she recognizes North as The Pillowman! He then tries to talk to her a little, and eventually gives up, and goes home. We then see North walking around the city, just chillin. It seems to be Los Angeles in the late 1980s. He walks into a pawn shop, and he just waits in line as we see people bargaining, and he gets yelled at for not paying up. It’s not a pawn shop, after all, it’s an apartment building and he is scolded for not paying the rent. We then see North talking to his roommate in a bad apartment, and it’s a random old guy. I though tit was Silvera, and of course he is an icon of good porn acting. However, the mood shifts as we are taken to another set, this is a warehouse porn set, and that’s where we see a couple of women making out.

The two women are Brandy Wine and Tammy Reynolds. One blonde and one brunette, and the two are making out, as Joey pulls out his penis and starts to masturbate. The women here are voluptuous, all natural breasts, big 1980s style hair, not shaved, and Joey has his fro and he’s stroking it. He then joins the action. We get close ups of Brandy Wine, Tammy Reynolds, and Joey Silvera getting into the sex. There’s some great jazz music for this scene. The set is terribly lit, and looks like your average porn garage in the valley, with a brown couch. There are no condoms here, it’s the 1980s, and Joey gets into it fast, first getting into the brunette, and really just going along the motions of sex. There’s some bad shadows here and there, and you can see the boom mic at one point, but the whole thing is casually filmed, with a focus on the action at times, and at other time, the women’s breasts. Nothing too fancy here, mind you. At the 32 minute mark, Silvera cups onto the brunette’s pubic mound, and then immediately gets back up and goes back into her! Silvera is a golden god for this, as I haven’t seen this since TT Body did it with Jenna Jameson, he gets a few more minutes of stroke before he cums again, and the refractory period of his work is incredible on this scene. Wow, Silvera pulls off a stellar scene elevating this movie’s rating from 1 out of 5 to a 3 out of 5 just for that sequence.

Moving along, we end up with another moment in time. We see Peter North styling his hair, and he’s in a random warehouse set. He then appears at a random house, and talks to a dude. The set changes and we are in a den somewhere in Los Angeles. Aja comes down, and F.M. Bradley is on the other side of the den watching. Aja is a brunette, her hair is up, she has a 1980s look and feel to her, and immediately gets on her knees to suck off Peter North. Aja has natural breasts, and has this amazing look to her. She’s quite hot here, and North looks like he’s going to pop within a few minutes, but controls it a little. There’s no loud music here, but rather Aja moaning, and North staying in control, while the camera moves left to right, and zooms in and out at times. The shadows from the lighting are horrible here, and the brown couch is funny to me. Midway through the sex, Bradley shows up, fully naked, and gets asked to join the party. Bradley is a large black man, and Aja gives him a hand job, then puts a diaper on him, no joke! No joke! Then she puts a pacifier in his mouth! Then Aja returns to North for doggy style. After some back and forth, North cums on her butt, as Bradley watches, and that’s the end. Nothing too crazy here, but Aja is quite the beauty, as this is the first time I’ve seen her work. The mid point diaper change was really odd though. North asks her out, then Bradley gets mad and asks him to get out of his house and not to ask his wife out! Wow.

Bradley then takes off his diaper, and asks Aja to suck him off. Aja sucks Bradley off, as he spouts one liners and jokes, including “I have some wonton soup!”, and it’s funny to see. He doesn’t get all hard, but he gets a medium amount before he gets into Aja for some sex on the brown couch. He doesn’t last that long, less than 5 minutes, for a quickie and that’s it. I was surprised by how long the scene lasted, which was horrendously slow. He cums on her breasts, and that’s it. We are moving away to the final two scenes, and it’s been around 48 minutes at this point.

The movie’s plot continues, and now we are taken to a brothel of sorts, and we see Tony Montana and Renee Morgan get involved. There’s some nice jazz in this one, and that supersedes everything else. Renee Morgan is a skinny, brunette, with small breasts, and is supposed to be latin here, as Montana speaks Spanish one liners, and gets really into the sex. I mean, she’s more into it than anyone else in this movie, and that makes it great. Renee Morgan sucks off Tony Montana then goes into doggy style while wearing a Spanish hat. The two have sex for a while, and it’s not terrible, but it’s also nothing that I would want too see again. In the mean time, Joey Silvera is talking to what I can only assume is Britt Morgan and then starts to make out with her. Meanwhile, Peter North keeps asking about his free trip that Silvera promised him, and the camera goes back and forth to the sex. After some back and forth here, Montana ends up cumming onto Renee’s pubic region, which is not shaved. That scene ends, and we are taken back to North’s apartment.

The story moves forward, and we see Britt Morgan and Peter North talking at a bus stop. The movie’s plot thickens as North hasn’t paid rent at all, and then is invited to hang out with Morgan. Britt Morgan has large hair, she’s all blonde, and comes out wearing a nighty that is lace, and white. She does not have the most attractive face, it’s round, and somewhat unattractive, with a “baby” type of look, but she has a nice body, and well, she rides North’s literal head. That is funny, and she does have natural breasts. The set here is a random porn warehouse, and North can’t help but laugh at the beginning of this scene. I’ve never seen a woman literally ride a dude’s head and comment on his hair. Hair fetish? Is that a thing?

Peter North sits down on a faded brown couch, and Britt Morgan gets to work. She starts to suck him off, and he gets hard immediately. I don’t find Morgan that attractive, mind you, but honestly, she has good technique here. She moans a bit as they change positions, but Peter North is in robot mode. The jazz soundtrack is great here, and I liked that. However, the sex isn’t that great, and eventually North cums on Morgan’s shaved pubic region, and stomach, and that’s that. If you’re into blondes, perhaps you’ll like her, but this is a short scene that is spliced with other elements of the story line.

The plot continues to move forward, and we see that North and his friend get evicted. Then North gets into fatigues, and gets thrown out of a window, onto a deck and that’s it. This movie has a plot at first, then completely throws it out of the window, and well, it’s porn, so what did you expect, right?

I give “Pillowman” a 3 out of 5.

This is not a great movie, but I loved the production value, the non sex roles, the random jokes, and the attention to some finer details here and there. The women are pretty, and there’s at least one good sex scene that I’d watch again, just to see the double cum blast from Silvera, which is god like if you ask me.

The Naked Truth (1994) Review

The Naked Truth (1994) Poster DVD Cover

Today I have a special review that goes all the way back to 1994. That was the year that the movie “The Naked Truth” was released on home video, and later on DVD. It’s a production that I didn’t know about until I was looking into different scenes featuring various talents, and ran into this early option that starred Janine. This was Janine before all the tattoos, mind you, and before she was working full time with men, or retired in Oregon somewhere. This is a young Janine and she looks amazing. Her face and eyes have always been captivating to me, and while the rest of the cast rounds out some heavy hitters, this movie speaks volumes to the 1990s porno style. There’s a plot here, and it starts with three women talking about how Janine’s boyfriend is the “one”, and that they are waiting for one another. The movie actually shows off that men cheat, and women cheat, and well, it’s a porno. What did you expect? Well, here we go, a venture into the early 1990s, blonde haired, enhanced, shaved, bald porno. This isn’t gonzo pornography, it has a story, but it’s quite thin overall, mind you. This movie features Brittany Andrews, Peter North, Janine, Steven St. Croix, Kirstay Waay, Jay Ashley, Alex Dane, Jenteal, and Sindee Coxx.

The movie turns sexual when Peter North shows up and starts dancing in a black thong. The three women that were talking, then watch Peter North and Brittany Andrews dance, and strip. Then they start to have sex, but not before Janine comes through and start to dance with them. The trio start to go through the motions of foreplay, and it’s evident that North is not going to get Janine, but rather going to be part of a lesbian scene. Even though Janine doesn’t have sex with North, he certainly grinds her a lot, and you’d swear that behind the scenes maybe Janine and North did hook up. Not in this scene, however, as it slowly moves into a lesbian heavy threesome, with North getting in with Andrews for the most part, but Janine there to take on some oral, and more, although she doesn’t really touch North, mind you. It’s a bit confusing, but that’s how early Janine scenes were, she was only doing movies with women. The scene teases Janine getting involved with both North and Andrews, but since the plot is about her being a virgin and waiting for her marriage, she plays coy until finally going forward with giving Andrews oral, while Peter North coaches. Andrews blows Peter North, while Janine just watches and gets aroused. Then North puts on what looks like the world’s thickest condom, I kid you not, and has sex with Brittany Andrews. North and Andrews have real chemistry here, and he really goes to town with her, going through a few positions, before finally finishing. You get a fabulous Peter North cum shot, and it goes all over Andrews’ face, and that’s the end of the scene.

The scene ends and we are taken to a construction site where a stripper is dancing for a bunch of men. It’s Nick and others talking. Yes, that Nick that Janine claims they are going to wait, and that Nick is a virgin etc. However, in this scene, he approaches Jill Kelly, and starts to work through a sex scene.

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Jill Kelly and Steven St. Croix go forward at a construction site and have sex. This is an early Jill Kelly scene, before she got breast implants. I’ve always loved her face, and eyes, and here she is young, and barely into the porn world. The music here is a hip hop tune, with interesting breaks, but it’s muted a bit to hear the moans of Jill Kelly overall. Steven St. Croix performs oral on Jill Kelly then puts on one of those thick condoms and starts to have sex with her. This goes on while the construction crew watches! SO the two get on a makeshift bed, and just start working out their frustrations. This isn’t a bad scene, and Jill Kelly is quite attractive here. The two have a bit of chemistry together, and they definitely go through the motions and work up a sweat. The editing is off on this scene, as you end up seeing a lot of Steven St. Croix’s face, and sweat, rather than the penetration. However, the camera eventually switches to that in time, but it’s mostly focusing on the movements rather than the actual sex at times. That shifts with the positions, however, as the scene gets more and more heated. Eventually Steven St. Croix finishes on Kelly’s stomach, and even shots a shot near her eyes. This was a somewhat passionate scene, with a lot of gusto for Steven St. Croix, so good for him.

The movie then switches to another point of interesting. Janine shows up to Steven St. Croix’s home, and shows off a piece of lingerie. The two discuss the upcoming wedding, and the cost.

The movie switches gears, and it shows two guys trying to interrogate Kirsty Waay. This include Steven St. Croix and a guy that is just listed as “guy”. He looks familiar, but I can’t place him. Of course, because this is a porno, you know exactly where the scene is going, and the three start having sex. They all do it on a couch, and Waay actually gets really wet for this scene. They are having sex on a cream colored leather couch, and it’s your standard romp, however, there’s no condoms in this one, unlike the other scenes, at least at first. After a few back and forth pumps, a condom appears, which makes me think that this wasn’t shot in one take, but that’s just my two cents. There’s no anal here, there’s no double penetration or anything like that. It’s just a straight threesome, with St. Croix doing a lot of the work, and eventually giving a money shot that hits Waay’s stomach and face, and that’s it. The dude in question is Bobby Vitale, mind you.

After this we are taken to a set where a restaurant is setup. Janine and Kirsty Waay sit down and talk. Waay tries to tell Janine that Nick isn’t a good guy, and that causes her to storm off. She tells her that the dude is a bookie and isn’t a nice guy. That leads to another scene where Janine starts a monologue about Nick and how he can’t be a bad guy, and that she’s not wrong about him. After looking around his office, however, she ends up finding his paperwork and realizes that maybe Nick isn’t such a good guy after all.

We are then taken to Las Vegas where Nick and April, (Janine and St. Croix) have a room with a couple of friends. He wants to get action with his friends, but she doesn’t, so the scene ends up with just one couple having sex on the bed in their rented room.

This scene features Alex Dane and Jay Ashley. This is a pretty straight forward scene. It’s mechanical in nature, and the two just kind of go at it, normally. It’s not that sexy of a scene, although it will get you there. The music turns from pop to a disco electro beat, but the overall sequence isn’t that fun to watch. It’s kind of lame, and while the two have a little chemistry, you can tell that they are in work mode. There’s no condom here, which is a rare point in the movie, and the two just go through the motions of casual sex. The motion eventually goes forward into anal at one point, and then just has a money shot on the back of Alex Dane. Dane is a stand out in this movie, she’s not blonde, or athletic, she’s ethnic and while she does look sexy and young, she doesn’t have a lot of chemistry with Jay Ashley, and well that’s a tough thing in this scene.

The scene ends and we are taken to a bed where Janine, Jenteal, and Sindee Coxx are all just talking. They end up striking up a conversation about sex, and then they go into sex mode. This is a lesbian threeway, and it’s what you would expect from three women that are attracted to one another. They totally dominate this scene, and throw the plot of the movie out of the window, favoring the option to just go with oral, fingers, and much more. It’s just a threesome with beautiful women and that’s it.

I give “The Naked Truth” a 2 out of 5.

While there is a stand out scene with Jill Kelly and Steven St. Croix that is definitely sexy, that’s about it. The rest of the movie is kind of boring, and tired. There’s a little chemistry in the lesbian scenes, mind you, but overall, this is not a great movie at all. It’s kind of boring and mechanical for the most part. If I wasn’t hot for Jill Kelly, I wouldn’t ever watch any of this again.

You can purchase “The Naked Truth” and other Jill Kelly showstoppers by clicking here.

Ramb-ohh! (1986) Review

Ramb-Ohh! (1986) VHS Cover

There are a lot of parodies of modern cinema. Many of them become porno movies, and today we are going to go back to a movie that was directed by a guy named Adam. This was released I n1986, and it is a movie that is a complete parody of the classic Rambo Franchise. The movie starts simple enough, and it is definitely one of the better movies to have a parody element to it, although, it’s still a porno. This was definitely meant to be seen on the big screen, as there is better acting, film grain, and a plot that involves a titular character. The movie today is called “Ramb-ohh!” and it stars Tom Byron, Bunnie Blake, Krista Lane, Ray Wells, Candie Evans, Peter North, and Ray Wells. This is a very 1980s movie as far as women are concerned, as they have big hair, and heels, and look like they just came off the set of a Motley Crue video.

We start the movie with people picking on a soldier, played by Peter North. He is getting called all sorts of names for being in Vietnam. He then steals a motorcycle and just goes along his way. In another scene, we see Tom Byron at a mansion, and some guy that looks like a villain talking on the phone, and the two exchange a few words before Byron goes inside.

The opening sex scene starts at around 5 minutes, and the music is very romantic, soft, and you find two women on a brown couch. One is a blonde, and one is a brunette, and they are simply kissing. Bunnie Blake, and Careena Collins kiss and slowly work through a lesbian opening sequence. The music shifts and in comes a young Tom Byron. I’ve seen more Tom Byron scenes than any other actor in the business at this point, and here he is, throwing down with two women, as they begin to blow him. The two women share his throbbing member, and the music turn sinto a bit more porn-chic element. This is a fast moving scene, mind you, and Byron is just enjoying every minute of getting blown by two beautiful women. This isn’t a long scene, no one is shaved, and Byron goes through both women at one point, before he eventually can’t hold it together, the camera shakes and he cums on the pubic hair of one girl while another gets really close for the money shot in her face, and licks up the cum after the fact. The scene has some good chemistry, and some solid momentum, although the music made me laugh. Not the best scene, but Byron seems to have enjoyed this threesome, and the women weren’t half bad, making it at least passable.

The next scene shows our solider coming up on a van and seeing that there is someone locked inside. He knocks out the two guys outside of the van, and then takes the girl away, saving here.

Another scene shows a couple of con artists trying to get someone to stop along the side of the road. One beats up a driver and then hijacks a car, and a country tune plays. This is comical, and unnecessary. But hey, it’s 1986, and we need a plot to this porno.

Switching ears, Peter North talks to a woman and talks about what is going. My VHS copy of this tape started to mess up a little, but we get more of the story. The woman saved was headed to a brothel, where she had to work against her will. But now she’s saved. As she talks, we are sent to another sex scene, where a man and a brunette with big hair are making out in front of a fireplace.

This scene features Krista Lane and Ray Wells. It’s an average sex scene with a jazzy musical score. No one is shaved again, there’s no condoms, and the two don’t seem to have a lot of chemistry. Lane does most of the work here, although Wells seems to hold off from cumming too fast. This is not a very sexy scene, although it works for what it is. The director does do some good close ups of the action, but there are also edits where you see Wells’ face too long, and then Lane’s body moving, but not penetration. There’s no one sweating here, and it’s apparent that the two are just doing the job, and not really into one another. Eventually Lane starts to really get into it, and moans and nearly screams, as she gets close to orgasm. The money shot occurs when Wells goes Russian with Lane and cums on her neck and chest, although it’s not a big load to speak of, which the director doesn’t even get too close to. It’s a minimal amount of an ender, and Lane doesn’t even seem that excited, making this a dull scene.

The movie then shifts back to Peter North and the woman he saved. She tells him that he needs to go to some building and stop a bomb that is going to go off. After that we see the villains talking to the boss and talking about how the woman they had escaped.

Another scene features the two con men that stole a car, just driving down the road. Then you get aerial shots of old Malibu, California. This is just an odd sequence of movie elements before you get back to Peter North, with a pair of binoculars looking at a house.

Inside the house we get our next sex scene. A jazzy tune starts and you see Careena Collins, Francois, and Ray Wells having a threesome. This is a basic three some, and it appears to have dubbed in sounds. Careena Collins does have a little moaning done here and there, but the tape dub is bad. Francois is funny here, he’s all oiled up, and it’s interesting to see him contrast with Wells. At one point Careena Collins’ has dubed over statements that are not in the same scene, and it’s funny. Then you get male voice overs, making this one of the worst scenes I’ve ever seen. If you like terrible porn, you have to seek out this scene just to laugh at how bad the audio design is. The direction is also clumsy, but the audio is just tremendously bad. The two have sex with the brunette here, and it’s not terrible. There’s a money shot on her breasts, no double penetration or anything like that, just terrible dubbing. I couldn’t believe how bad this scene was. Just horrendous. Wells doesn’t even finish he stays hard after the seen ends, which is odd to me, but hey, that’s porno for you.

The movie moves to Peter North with a gun, then a city scene of Los Angeles from the 1980s. We are then shown two bad guys get beat up by North, and he jumps on the stolen motorcycle and takes off. Our hero finds the house he was looking at and attacks, going inside, and saving a woman that is tied up. They leave the room, and then the scene cuts to another couple having sex.

Candie Evans and Francois have sex on a water bed in this scene. Francois is an oiled up, tanned dude with a bad circumcision. Candie Evans is a blonde haired 1980s pin up looking porno girl. Again, no one is shaved, the two seem to have minimal chemistry, and the music is laughable at times. I did appreciate watching a movie with a waterbed in it. Remember those? I never got to have sex on a water bed, which makes this scene all the more delightful. This is a standard sex scene, but I’m going to go out on a limb and assume Francois did gay porn, because his physique, motions, and overall lack of enthusiasm drives you away from the scene. He’s hard, Evans rides him, but this is as mechanical as two married people having sex after being together for 30 years. It’s not worthy of the porno world if you ask me. The ending of this scene features Evans blowing Francois until he cums, and that’s it. Not a great scene.

Peter North rescues the girl, and then meets the villain of this movie. The two face off, and North throws a knife at the villain! He then falls into a pool, and that’s it. Our hero prevails! It’s not bloody, it’s not action packed, it’s just somewhat boring. Peter North barely works through his lines here, and the bets actor is the non-sexual role that the villain has.

Once the villain is dead, Peter North goes inside to tell Bunnie Blake and she’s spread eagle waiting for him. BUnnie is a blonde haired woman, with curly hair, and Peter North is now a legend. The starting of this final sex scene is all oral. The two taking their time going through the motions of sex, with neither shaved, and no condom in sight. This is another waterbed scene, in the same waterbed that we saw before, with pale walls, and a yellow comforter to boot. The music is a military style drumming which is terrible, and you get close ups of all the action here. As far as Peter North scenes are concerned, this is one of the worst. Sure, Bunnie Blake has some chemistry with him, but it’s not a great scene, as the two are somewhat mechanical. The saving grace of this movie should’ve been a Peter North facial, or big cum shot, but for some reason the director did not focus on that, and we just see a finish with dubbed in moaning, and that’s it. I kid you not.

I give “Ramb-ohh!” a 1 out of 5.

Well, it was bound to happen. I was going to run into a movie that was so awful, I didn’t want to even get hard for it. This is one of those movies. This is the worst porno movie I’ve seen, in terms of sex. Sure, there was some story to it, and there is some production value. However, this is a seriously terrible movie, and if you love bad porno, then you’ll like it. Other than that, this is not one that’s going to make you want to get it on. Unless, you’re a collector of all things Peter North, in which case, go for it.

The Fanny (1997) Review

The Fanny (1997) Poster 

The year was 1997. I was only a teenager and wasn’t supposed to be watching porno, but with cable television came The Spice Network. It’s there that I started my quest to see as much adult movie stuff as I could, but if you recall that channel, then you know that they didn’t’ show any penetration, just a lot of naked people, no blow jobs, no penises, nothing. You instead got to see items in front of the bumping and grinding so you always thought that there was nothing really going on. It was like basic cable soft core, without the slow down, and stuff. Well, that’s where I first was introduced to the movie, “The Fanny”, which was a Wicked Pictures production, and it stars a bunch of people I know from other movies, and what not. Some of the actors included Toni James, Peter North, Kay London, Ashley Renee, Brittany Andrews, Shawna Edwards, Tony Tedeschi, and Steve Drake. These are all veterans of the industry, of course, and the main character is supposed to be a parody of “The Nanny”, the classic television show. Brittany Andrews tries to do her best impression, and it kind of works, so if you’re a fan of the show, you’re going to like the way that this all works out.

The movie opens up with an introduction of The Fanny, and she works for a movie producer. The movie is a mix of comedy up front, and of course, sex throughout the movie. The first major sex scene doesn’t start until 8 minutes or so into the movie. This features Kay London, Toni James, and Peter North. They aren’t exactly great actors, but this isn’t about the acting, it’s about the sex, right? The sex stars and on comes the jazz music. New wave jazz is the worst, in my opinion, but that’s just my two cents. This features no condoms, and Peter North getting it on with two blondes. The blondes are similar in shape, size, and overall looks. However, one is more vocal than the other, and has a smoker’s voice. They seem to have a good sense of chemistry though, and while Peter North’s performances can range from mechanical to filled with passion, this is somewhere in the middle. The women seem to have more fun than North is, as they give each other oral as North goes to town in doggy style and other positions. If you’re a fan of lesbian sex, then you’ll like how Toni James and Kay London work here, meanwhile Peter North is just a stunt cock for the most part. Not a bad thing, but definitely not great either. After about ten or so minutes of sex, maybe a little longer, Peter North cums on both of the blondes, and that’s the end of the scene. The setting is the basement of a home, that’s been finished and has a black couch, and that’s that. The music keeps playing as North finishes. The most exciting part is the money shot, after he finishes, the women blow him, which I know for a fact is one of the most tantalizing things to do in the sexual world, so points for that.

Don’t want to read my ramblings? No problem, click here and purchase “The Fanny” on VOD and DVD by clicking here!

The movie transitions to Ashley Renee and Brittany Andrews talking. They are by a pool table, when things turn into a sexual romp. This is a lesbian scene that once again gets started with jazzy music. However, this time you get “cow bell” first. If you’re a fan of cowbell, you’ll definitely appreciate the starting line, but then comes the 1980s new wave keyboards, and you’re lost amidst large breasts, and lots of oral. This lesbian scene is in full character, so if you’re looking for a break from that, you aren’t going to find it here. Both women are thin, taller, and have a sense of passion in this scene. The two have fun with their hands, mouths, and moan a lot. It’s a standard lesbian scene, and not terrible, but not great either. It’s “functional” at best, and if you like two women getting it on, you’ll like this, as it works well for the most part.

Moving forward we get a transition, and then we see Tony Tedeschi talking to a random woman. Her name is Shawna Edwards, at least the actress’s name. As they start to kiss downstairs, upstairs, Kay London and Steve Drake start kissing, and so the director decides to go back and forth between the two sex scenes. This is a move I hate, honestly. I’d rather see one scene at a time, rather than jumping back and forth, but that’s just my take on things at this point. Tony Tedeschi wears a condom for his scene, which threw me off, since Peter North wasn’t wearing on in his scene. They are in the same couch area that the Peter North scene was in, so Shawna Edwards and Tony go for it. It’s not a bad scene, mind you, but it’s far from great. It’s porno, what can I say? It lacks a sense of passion, and you can tell that they are going through the motions, for the most part. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if you’re looking for that passionate, sexual romp, this doesn’t really showcase it, as Shawna Edwards seems lost amidst the bigger picture of porno, rather than focusing on the situation. But that happens sometimes. Steve Drake doesn’t wear a condom with Kay London, and the director switches between the two sex scenes editing back and forth. This device may work in regard to porno for the most part, but it’s something that’s not really needed as it takes away from the viewer’s romp. One thing I did notice was that upon going doggy with Tony Tedeschi and Shawna Edwards, he takes the condom off at one point, then puts it back on at one point. I’m not sure if this scene was filmed twice or not, but it’s obvious that there’s two takes and two different uses of condom and no condom. This scene is mechanical, while the Steve Drake and Kay London one is a little better, but not by much. The money shots here all land on the women’s stomach, and that’s it. Drake gives a little more gusto on the pubic hair of London, while Tedeschi finishes on the tattoo and stomach of Shawna Edwards. It’s not a bad scene, it’s just not great.

The end of the movie is up next, as there’s only one more scene left. Steve Drake and Tony Tedeschi ask The Fanny to stay. And then the inevitable happens, sex. All in character mind you, so if you had fantasies about seeing The Nanny in a sex scene, here you go, the finale, which features Brittany Andrews in a giant black hair wig, and Tony Tedeschi, doing his thing as always. The music is a little better here, mind you, and it’s an interesting departure from the rest of the smooth jazz that was playing earlier. It’s not terrible, but it’s not great, and it features slow moving keyboards, and mediocre synth drums. As for the sex, the foreplay is quite good overall. The two seem to have good chemistry during the oral, including rimming, which shows a close up throughout. However, when the actual sex starts, the two seem to lose steam at first, and Tony Tedeschi again dawns a condom. Andrews has a piercing down there, and the two seem to get more into it as the scene progresses. As the close up of Andrews and Tedeschi moves forward, you can see the glistening from how wet she’s getting, and how fun the scene must be overall, as she’s nearly squirting at one point. The sex goes on for a good while, and as you’d expect, after a few positions, things get rougher, and eventually Tony pulls out, removes the condom and cums on Andrews’ triple D breasts. That’s it, the full movie is over, and it ends with Andrews collecting cum and blowing Tony as the finale.

I give “The Nanny” a 3 out of 5.

There’s not a whole lot to save this movie. It’s a late 1990s Wicked Pictures movie, and it’s not horrendous. It has a few moments of comedy, and seeing Brittany Andrews in the wig is great. Other than that, it’s a standard porno from the late 1990s.

You can purchase “The Fanny” by going online and clicking here. The DVD version was released in 1999, but the VHS version was released in 1997. You can get it here, though.

Cheerleader Academy (1986) Review

Cheerleader Academy Poster (1986)

And away we go, another classic porno review for you 2 readers out there. This one stars Tom Byron, the kingpin of porn, as I’m going to call him. But it also has some familiar men and women throughout, including Peter North. The full credits has a funny focus with a cone in the middle of the grass, and music that is very much lackluster, but focused on the college band sound. There’s a little bit of keytar in there too, and you watch the full credits for the director and writer which is Marc Weiss on writing, and directed by none other than the hedgehog, Ron Jeremy. I kid you not. This is a Ron Jeremy directed movie. The movie is simple, cheerleaders are getting through their routine, and they are going to have sex, right? Yes! Of course, this is a porno! They are college cheerleaders, mind you. So you get a bunch of college students getting thrown into the mix of a dictator’s push. The movie stars Erica Boyer, Blondi, Tony Montana, Peter North, Candie Evans, Bunny Bleu, Scott Irish, Tom Byron, and Jennifer Noxt. I didn’t know what to expect from this movie, since I judged it by the cover, as I do with a lot of porno movies for this site. The movie looks to be one of those movies that was produced to be put on the big screen in a double feature, as it is filmed on video, but with less budget than some of the other movies that you may have seen from the era. This is definitely a low budget option, but hey, Ron Jeremy is directing so maybe it’s not so bad, right? Before the sex, you get some funny cheerleading elements, and it’s awful, but it’s also funny to watch. This is not a gonzo picture, that’s for sure. Today we look at “Cheerleader Academy” from 1986.

The movie moves forward to the first sex scene. It’s a lesbian scene that features Erica Boyer and Jennifer Noxt. These two seem to really get into their performance, rubbing, licking, and kissing all over. Jeremy’s direction is great here, and there’s a lot of elements that don’t make sense and others that do. Lots of good shots, great overall chemistry between the women, and a setting that looks to be an office. The only thing I can’t get behind is the fact that there’s terrible music involved. It’s like news reel music, then out of the blue the scene and music stops. This isn’t half bad, but it abruptly. It’s a short scene featuring an experienced woman and her younger student, but it’s not that grand. It has some moaning involved, but it’s somewhat boring, unless you’re really into lesbian scenes.

The next scene transitions to a disciplinary type hearing. Two cheerleaders aren’t doing great, so they need to work on their chemistry. That leads them to have sex, of course.

The scene features Tony Montana and Blondi. I’ve seen both of these performers in other movies so I know that they can throw down a good scene. Tony Montana here looks to be far more into Blondi than she is, and while they go at it, Tom Byron looks on. The music again throws me off, as it is smooth jazz elevator music. It’s terrible, but the sex is fine. Blondi keeps her shoes on, and the two go at it in multiple positions. It’s an adequate scene, although she stays quiet for a lot of the scene. It works as a sex scene, but it’s not that fun to watch, and it’s kind of “vanilla” when it comes to porn if you ask me. Tony does a lot of the work towards the end, and eventually finishes on Blondi’s face. Tony is wearing nothing but a yellow swatch watch, which is distracting here. My favorite part of this is Blondi sucking Montana off after he cums, which is always a great momentum boost.

The movie has a workout scenario for the next few minutes, showing off what the cheerleaders must do to train. This is non-sexual. A lot occurs here, and it’s not sexy at all, making me think that the movie was in fact something that played in movie theaters, otherwise, why waste time? The cheerleaders do not have underpants, and the director makes sure to show you that aspect, so maybe that’s something to consider here.

Back Cover of Cheerleader Academy (1986)

After the workout, Peter North and Candie Evans are sitting in front of a fire and the two have a romantic, love making session….or do they? Nope, it’s a lot of kissing and at one-point North puts honey on Candie and starts licking it up. The scene abruptly transitions to another room. That room has Scott Irish and Bunny Bleu doing stretching exercises. Bunny Bleu’s blow job technique is quite good, the blonde haired woman is quite lovely, and Scott Irish seems to really get into oral with her as the two go into the 69 position. The music is a jazzy improvisational number, so that’s interesting, and the two make a lot more noise than the other people in this movie thus far. Mind you, this is 45 minutes into the movie, and they seem to have the most chemistry between the performers. Reverse cowgirl here is pretty darn good, and the two really get into it at one point, but the scene switches back to Peter North and Candie Evans! Points off for that, as it is lazy editing if you ask me. This is where you get to see Candie Evans and Peter North get dirty on a towel, in front of a fireplace. North makes more noise than Evans, and while the two go through some positions, it appears that he’s in work mode and Evans is trying to enjoy it a little more. Midway through their movements, the scene cuts back to Bunny Bleu and Scott Irish and he cums on her pubic hair, then stick sit back in for another ride through. That immediately switches to Peter North and Candie Evans again. If you’re expecting a big Peter North money shot, then you know what’s going to happen, as the scene ends with a blow job and Peter North exploding all over Evans’ chest. The dirty blonde keeps jacking North and the two end this scene with a kiss.

The next scene is Jennifer Noxt and Tom Byron. Jennifer runs down Tom Byron and says he isn’t great and doesn’t want to team with him. Then she pulls down his pants and realizes that he’s hung, so she starts blowing him. The brunette goes to town with Tom Byron, and he’s looking a lot like a geek, unlike his other appearances in porn in the 90s, where he looks like a total rocker. Here he’s a nerd, and he’s lucky to be getting action from Noxt. Jennifer Noxt is a hot brunette here, all natural and reminds me of a lot of college women I went to school with. The two get to work in a very nice and romantic scene, with jazzy flute playing in the background. At one point Noxt rips her uniform which is left in the scene! Another blooper? Sure! Why not?! Jeremy’s direction is lazy here. Midway through this scene the editing goes to Bunny Bleu and Peter North having sex. The editing midway through the other scene goes to this scene! What the hell?! This is upsetting, but if you’re just looking for sex, then move forward with this I guess. Now, Bleu is blowing North and out of the blue the scene goes back to Byron! That’s right, Tom Byron goes back to having sex with Jennifer Noxt! Holy crap! The editing here is terrible, but the scene gets hotter. Noxt reminds me of an escort that works in Vegas for 100 Proof LV, so that kind of got me excited. Byron has some funny moments with Noxt, and she eventually starts to get into it, right about the time he goes all out and then finishes on her back. After this, the scene goes back to Bunny Bleu and Peter North! The two have better chemistry than in the scene, and while North is once again in work mode, Bleu seems to be enjoying it a lot more. The ending is of course a money shot, with Bleu blowing him to a finish and a nice ender. Bunny Bleu is quite good here, wow.

At this point in the movie there is no more story, you just get straight sex scenes, and lackluster elevator music. This is about one hour and 17 minutes into the movie, and it features Candie Evens and Scott Irish. This is not a terrible scene, and Candie is quite good with Irish. This goes through a blow job before the scene cuts to a threeway between Erica Boyer, Jennifer Noxt, and Tom Byron! The editing really caused me to be a bit upset, but hey, it’s a movie, so grab some popcorn right? I guess. Tom Byron is an allstar here as he stops being a nerd and just goes to town with Noxt and Boyer, just going for it here until he cums on their faces and they keep blowing him. This is a cool scene, and the electric guitar and techno music makes it far better. He finishes and it looks good, with the actors laughing and the screen fading to black before going to a sequence where he sits with Noxt and Boyer and the movie ends.

Not a terrible movie, but not a great one either. The VHS transfer I saw of this wasn’t half bad, but it lacked a lot of chemistry at points. Jennifer Noxt is the one woman that stood out to me, and I will be looking for more of her scenes. “Cheerleader Academy” wasn’t half bad. But it wasn’t that good either, it just kind of ended.

I give “Cheerleader Academy” a 2 out of 5.

This is not a great movie, but it had Tom Byron. Byron did well, North was ok, but some of the women weren’t great, and the editing with music wasn’t that good.

You can purchase “Cheerleader Academy” via various websites.

Did you see “Cheerleader Academy”? Leave me a comment below.

Guilty As Sin (1996) Review

Guilty as Sin (1996)

It took me a long time to get back into the swing of things. I have been working a lot, and have been pursuing a doctorate degree, and just found myself focusing on reading, writing, and other areas of interest. Today, we are going to be looking at a movie from 1996. This movie came out in 1996, and it is 93 minutes long. It was directed by Jim Enright, and distributed by Klimaxxx Productions. This movie features some great actors, so I am intrigued by the initial line up. This movie is called, “Guilty as Sin”, and it stars Missy, Mickey G, TT Boy, Nadia Moore, Precious Silver, Peter North, Alex Dane, Alex Dane, Celine Devoux, Blake Mitchell, and Jonathan Morgan. At the time of this movie’s filming around January of 1996, I was only 13 years old, so I did not see it until recently. Some of my personal favorite adult stars are in this movie, and they include TT Boy, Peter North, and Jonathan Morgan. Steve Drake, that rascal is here too, and of course a line up of women that came and went, and didn’t make a big splash like some other featured women on this site. But that’s the world of adult movies, hit and miss, and hope.

You ever wonder who the custodian of records is for these movies? The opening of this movie has a slow starting point, where you hear nothing, see nothing, but get that warning that the custodian of records has all the files on all of the performers, because they are all of age, etc.

The movie starts with three women talking. A secretary comes into an office and is talking about a new client. The new client is a blonde haired woman, and she said that she heard the attorney is the best and she needs the best. She’s in the worst running suit, and it’s hilarious. The office looks like your average set, grey carpeting, a book shelf, some books, a random credential, and a piece of Thomas Kincade art in the background. A desk, and brown bookshelf, and the lighting of course is coming from two angles, so the shadows are showcasing where the lighting rigs are. I’m trying to see if there’s a boom mic in the shot, but the editor did a good job of framing this enough to not see it, but I know it’s up there, and if you’re careful, you can catch the sound bouncing through it.

The blonde tells the attorney that she needs her, and the attorney said she doesn’t need anyone if she hasn’t been arrested or taken in for questioning yet. The blonde tries to convince the lawyer, but the attorney is not having it, until the blonde tells her a little more about her story, and that she has an alibi that has stopped her from killing her man. She says she has her own money, so there’s no way she could’ve killed her husband. When she starts that, the attorney sits down and starts to listen to a story, where we get a hard cut, and into the first scene of adult material.

We cut to a backyard swimming pool. There is a single camera shot looking in on Mickey G floating on a pool bed, and Missy comes through. She walks in with a bikini, but the frame of the shot is so uneven, you can barely see her get into the frame. The director has this shot framed horribly, and the sunlight is so bright, the backyard is washed out, the colors not grand. Missy is a thin, dirty blonde, and has that California tan. Missy gets down to the pool and starts to blow Mickey G immediately, without any interlude, and a hard camera cut, straight to the close up of her blowing him directly. I’m not a fan of the framing of this scene at all. The centering is all off, and the weight is positioned in an odd manner. Mickey G. begins giving Missy oral after she blows him for a while, and the two have basic chemistry, but nothing too grand. Missy’s make up is on point, non-reflective, and her blonde hair has roots that come through as the camera focuses in and out of the closeups. Mickey G. is unkempt and is playing a macho role here. Missy has long legs, that California, blonde, slightly tan but not really too pasty skin tone. The two get out of the pool and use the flotation device to go into more positions. Fans of Missy will find this performance to be adequate, as Mickey G goes through the motions of each position, his arm behind his back because the camera is right on the two as they try to have sex. This scene is quick, and ends with a cum shot on Missy’s face, as she moans. This is not a grand scene, but it’s straight sex, no condoms, and for the outdoors, safe in terms of fantasy land.

We go back to the attorney’s office where Missy talks about what is going on with the case. They talk about how an open marriage, and that they allowed one another to love others as well. Just then, Jonathan Morgan storms in and gives Missy a warrant for arrest. Then the attorney finally says she’ll be her client. Dana, is her name, and the acting here is horrible, with the exception of Jonathan Morgan. Morgan says that the woman shot her husband with a shotgun, and she’s guilty.

We move forward to an office building where Steve Drake and our attorney start to talk. They talk about what things are had by the client. The acting here isn’t too bad, not great, but the dialogue works well. The office here is an obvious set, with bad lighting, but Drake does well here as an evil attorney.

Another hard cut and we are nearly 20 minutes into the porno, and the plot thickens. We see a press release, then we get two women sitting in bed and talking more plot. Missy’s accused of murder, Steve Drake is the evil lawyer, and things keep moving forward, with lots of dialogue. That alone elevates this movie past minor porno status, and instead gives it a full 2 stars extra just for the plot, dialogue, and storyline.

Soft cut here, and we get Missy talking to her lawyer again. The two discuss the pieces of the case. This time we are in Missy’s house, but she’s wearing the same wardrobe as before. During this scene, Missy and her attorney discusses the relationship that Missy has with Charlie. Charlie is played by Peter North, mind you. It’s here that we transition to the next sex scene, and the director throws us into the mess.

We go back outside, and Missy is sitting on a park bench while TT Boy is over her, getting blown. The music starts, and it’s saxophone heavy, with TT Boy showcasing his prowess, and Missy putting on a show for Peter North, who plays the voyeur, or the cuck, depending on how you view this type of thing. Missy and TT Boy have a lot more chemistry than Mickey G did with her, and it shows. Missy rides him in various positions, and he gets really into it towards the end, giving Miss a great deal for the somewhat short scene all things considered. Meanwhile, Peter North sits and watches, and eventually TT Boy cums on Missy’s face, and positions her a bit further from him to get the first launch, which is fine, but not grand. It’s an ok scene, better than the first, that’s for certain.

The lawyer asks Missy if Charlie (Peter North) ever had other women, and that’s when the screen fades, and we see three women enter a room, and present themselves to North. Meanwhile, Missy watches from the corner of a badly decorated set. The show here starts immediately with terrible elevator rock music, that sounds all synth heavy. Nadia Moore, and Precious Silver are the actresses, and they are both skinny, model types, with enhanced breasts, and pretty faces. Both have darker hair, and are a contrast to missy’s blonde hair. The camera goes back and forth between solo action with Missy, to Peter North immediately getting blown and moaning. The set design here sucks, alongside with the lighting, which casts bad shadows all over the scene from overhead lighting. But as far as the sex is concerned, it’s not half bad, although North seems to be in work mode, while the women just go through the motions. You can tell the lighting is coming from the fourth wall, as the shadows give away the set details. As for titillation, the women put on a clinic of how to give ladies oral, meanwhile, North does his best to keep it up. The sex is as sterile as a brothel visit. This is not North’s best work, and Nadia and Precious seem to just be willing participants in a scene where they are more interested in each other, including one woman with a hood piercing. The music is horrible though, the set has green walls, and the camera is all over the place, so good luck with this one. Oh, and how can I forget, there’s a Peter North facial onto a tongue ring, and well, he doesn’t exactly drop a big load here, so if you’re looking for the best of North, this is not the scene for you.

We get back to the house that the attorney was in with Missy. The two start to discuss how many partners one another had. The two women continue to converse, and we get a scene where the attorney is driving. I kid you not, this is a legit movie, although B-level or C-level, but there’s structure here that you do not get with a lot of movies.

The lawyer shows up to her home and walks in, only to find Jonathan Morgan to be in her bed. The two argue about why she took the case. Morgan is a detective, mind you, and the two keep talking about the case, and how one thinks the client is guilty. Morgan gets thrown out of her house, in the worst acting job in the movie thus far.

A soft fade and we go to a court room scene. This is actually done well, and there’s even some non-sex actors in this! I love those! I was in one once. Anyways, this turns into a court room drama, and we get into the best dialogue, and attempts to act. If you are one to watch full movies, rather than just fast forward to sex, you’ll be delighted by the acting job done here. Except for the fact that the attorney here is just reading aloud, not from memory. The judge as well isn’t really taking it seriously, and why would he? It’s a porno, right? A witness is called to the stand, and it’s Alex Dane.

A hard cut takes us into the bedroom of Alex Dane and Peter North. Dane is a skinny, small breasted, brunette, and she immediately begins with a blow job on Peter North. The music here is horrendous, and the set design is actually straight of the 1980s. The flowery brown couch, the hardwood flooring, white piano, and terrible contrast of color and design makes me laugh. Dane and North have a bit of chemistry, especially Dane who really seems to get into the act of giving North a good scene. The two have sex on a brown couch with flowery patterns, and a reddish background, a thrift store find if you ask me. The sex goes through several instances, and positions, with North maintain speed, and precision eventually going through anal. It’s apparent that Dane isn’t that into it, but the scene calls for it, so it goes forward. The music is synth heavy, and it’s fake horns here, and it’s horrible. It’s louder than the sex sounds, which have Dane moaning and North just breathing heavily. After some time, North finishes on Dane’s chest, and that’s that. This is bland. Very little chemistry, and just run of the mill in terms of lighting, and camera work. It’s lazy if you ask me.

Missy shows up and sees the two after they’ve had sex, and she’s upset.

The movie goes forward with the court case, and Drake keeps pushing the witness, and we get moving forward into Drake’s office. Here we see a blonde in a red dress talking to our prosecutor. The two start kissing, and soft music starts. Celine Devoux is the actress here, and she looks like Topanga from “Boy Meets World”, with her hair done like her, thick thighs, and skin tone that draws you in. The set here again is bland, but it’s done up to look like a cheap lawyer’s office or a motel, for that matter. The lighting sucks again, and I’m wondering who green lit this thing, but it’s a porno, so I guess I shouldn’t complain. Devoux and Drake begin with foreplay, and Drake giving some breast play to start. Devoux’s chest is natural, from what I can tell, but then again, this is 1996, maybe they aren’t? I don’t know, I should know. She has cake makeup, is trimmed, and the camera goes right into the tongue and labia, so if you’re a fan of oral, or want to learn, Drake seems to put on a clinic with the foreplay and oral. Drake uses his fingers, mouth, and more to get the first initial climax, and the camera moves lower to show you different angles, and I take back my comment about Devoux’s chest not being enhanced. The sex starts, and it’s casual, nothing crazy, reverse cowgirl, couch sex, Devoux moaning, and for the most part, it’s just run of the mill. I can’t really say it’s terrible, but it’s apparent that Drake and Devoux do not match chemistry, but rather are doing the job. Devoux is a blonde haired stripper type, and if that’s your thing, enjoy. Otherwise, you’re going to get distracted by the lack of chemistry, if that’s what you’e looking for. At the 72 minute mark, there’s anal, and that’s where the scene takes a tonal shift, with the two actually seeming to love what they do, so kudos on that. A cum shot on the chest of Devoux, and that’s the end of the scene.

Drake gets a phone call, and it’s Jonathan Morgan saying that there’s another murder. This time it’s a young man, and it’s another shotgun killing.

The movie then moves forward, and we get to see what really is happening. The attorney talks to Missy, and we then go to a room where Missy is talking to someone on the phone, yelling. The phone is tapped, and we are seeing the end of this story unfold. Missy is in on an extortion plot, she throws the phone down and pulls out a gun, and grabs a leather jacket, this thing is turning into a revenge thriller!

The plot finally thickens, and I’m all in here. A detective is on her tail, and we get some thriller type music, as she pulls up to a house, under the cover of night, to see Peter North come out in a suit, and he’s not dead afterall! North says that the two can run away together. The attorney shows up, talks her out of it, and right before she shoots North, a detective shows up and that’s the end. The whole story wraps up with a detective and our attorney.

Up to this point I didn’t want to name the attorney, because I’m lazy. It’s Blake Mitchell, a short haired redhead, with large breasts. Jonathan Morgan and her begin to kiss on the set of her apartment, and begin with breast play. The oral sex on this scene is good, and Morgan sure has some initial skills with Mitchell, which I definitely appreciated, considering this movie seems to lack in the sex department at times. The camera hides behind a plant at one point, which is hilarious to me. This apartment is designed like the worst Ikea in the world, mind you. The sex begins with a condom on, mind you, the first condom I’ve seen in this whole movie. We start with doggy style, and it’s ok at best. Mitchell moans, and Morgan concentrates, but you can tell that it’s just pure concentration, and nothing more. We switch to another position, Morgan on top and going forward as fast as he can, and then leading to an end of a cum shot on Mitchell’s triple D breasts, which the camera makes look enormous with the angle they choose.

The camera fades, and we get the end, that’s it. The end sequence, and a finish line for the movie.

“Guilty As Sin” was not my favorite movie in terms of sex. But as far as a full movie, with a script, with lots of dialogue, editing, sequencing, and full plot, this is a stellar example of what can be done with a minor budget, for a sex movie. It’s a movie I could see in theaters, and enjoy enough not to finish myself off within the first scene. That’s a special kind of porno movie, isn’t it? Well, it’s something alright.

I give “Guilty As Sin” a 3 out of 5.

You can buy, stream, and download “Guilty As Sin” from 1996, and see extras, and maybe even give it a better rating by clicking here!