Cheerleader Academy (1986) Review

Cheerleader Academy Poster (1986)

And away we go, another classic porno review for you 2 readers out there. This one stars Tom Byron, the kingpin of porn, as I’m going to call him. But it also has some familiar men and women throughout, including Peter North. The full credits has a funny focus with a cone in the middle of the grass, and music that is very much lackluster, but focused on the college band sound. There’s a little bit of keytar in there too, and you watch the full credits for the director and writer which is Marc Weiss on writing, and directed by none other than the hedgehog, Ron Jeremy. I kid you not. This is a Ron Jeremy directed movie. The movie is simple, cheerleaders are getting through their routine, and they are going to have sex, right? Yes! Of course, this is a porno! They are college cheerleaders, mind you. So you get a bunch of college students getting thrown into the mix of a dictator’s push. The movie stars Erica Boyer, Blondi, Tony Montana, Peter North, Candie Evans, Bunny Bleu, Scott Irish, Tom Byron, and Jennifer Noxt. I didn’t know what to expect from this movie, since I judged it by the cover, as I do with a lot of porno movies for this site. The movie looks to be one of those movies that was produced to be put on the big screen in a double feature, as it is filmed on video, but with less budget than some of the other movies that you may have seen from the era. This is definitely a low budget option, but hey, Ron Jeremy is directing so maybe it’s not so bad, right? Before the sex, you get some funny cheerleading elements, and it’s awful, but it’s also funny to watch. This is not a gonzo picture, that’s for sure. Today we look at “Cheerleader Academy” from 1986.

The movie moves forward to the first sex scene. It’s a lesbian scene that features Erica Boyer and Jennifer Noxt. These two seem to really get into their performance, rubbing, licking, and kissing all over. Jeremy’s direction is great here, and there’s a lot of elements that don’t make sense and others that do. Lots of good shots, great overall chemistry between the women, and a setting that looks to be an office. The only thing I can’t get behind is the fact that there’s terrible music involved. It’s like news reel music, then out of the blue the scene and music stops. This isn’t half bad, but it abruptly. It’s a short scene featuring an experienced woman and her younger student, but it’s not that grand. It has some moaning involved, but it’s somewhat boring, unless you’re really into lesbian scenes.

The next scene transitions to a disciplinary type hearing. Two cheerleaders aren’t doing great, so they need to work on their chemistry. That leads them to have sex, of course.

The scene features Tony Montana and Blondi. I’ve seen both of these performers in other movies so I know that they can throw down a good scene. Tony Montana here looks to be far more into Blondi than she is, and while they go at it, Tom Byron looks on. The music again throws me off, as it is smooth jazz elevator music. It’s terrible, but the sex is fine. Blondi keeps her shoes on, and the two go at it in multiple positions. It’s an adequate scene, although she stays quiet for a lot of the scene. It works as a sex scene, but it’s not that fun to watch, and it’s kind of “vanilla” when it comes to porn if you ask me. Tony does a lot of the work towards the end, and eventually finishes on Blondi’s face. Tony is wearing nothing but a yellow swatch watch, which is distracting here. My favorite part of this is Blondi sucking Montana off after he cums, which is always a great momentum boost.

The movie has a workout scenario for the next few minutes, showing off what the cheerleaders must do to train. This is non-sexual. A lot occurs here, and it’s not sexy at all, making me think that the movie was in fact something that played in movie theaters, otherwise, why waste time? The cheerleaders do not have underpants, and the director makes sure to show you that aspect, so maybe that’s something to consider here.

Back Cover of Cheerleader Academy (1986)

After the workout, Peter North and Candie Evans are sitting in front of a fire and the two have a romantic, love making session….or do they? Nope, it’s a lot of kissing and at one-point North puts honey on Candie and starts licking it up. The scene abruptly transitions to another room. That room has Scott Irish and Bunny Bleu doing stretching exercises. Bunny Bleu’s blow job technique is quite good, the blonde haired woman is quite lovely, and Scott Irish seems to really get into oral with her as the two go into the 69 position. The music is a jazzy improvisational number, so that’s interesting, and the two make a lot more noise than the other people in this movie thus far. Mind you, this is 45 minutes into the movie, and they seem to have the most chemistry between the performers. Reverse cowgirl here is pretty darn good, and the two really get into it at one point, but the scene switches back to Peter North and Candie Evans! Points off for that, as it is lazy editing if you ask me. This is where you get to see Candie Evans and Peter North get dirty on a towel, in front of a fireplace. North makes more noise than Evans, and while the two go through some positions, it appears that he’s in work mode and Evans is trying to enjoy it a little more. Midway through their movements, the scene cuts back to Bunny Bleu and Scott Irish and he cums on her pubic hair, then stick sit back in for another ride through. That immediately switches to Peter North and Candie Evans again. If you’re expecting a big Peter North money shot, then you know what’s going to happen, as the scene ends with a blow job and Peter North exploding all over Evans’ chest. The dirty blonde keeps jacking North and the two end this scene with a kiss.

The next scene is Jennifer Noxt and Tom Byron. Jennifer runs down Tom Byron and says he isn’t great and doesn’t want to team with him. Then she pulls down his pants and realizes that he’s hung, so she starts blowing him. The brunette goes to town with Tom Byron, and he’s looking a lot like a geek, unlike his other appearances in porn in the 90s, where he looks like a total rocker. Here he’s a nerd, and he’s lucky to be getting action from Noxt. Jennifer Noxt is a hot brunette here, all natural and reminds me of a lot of college women I went to school with. The two get to work in a very nice and romantic scene, with jazzy flute playing in the background. At one point Noxt rips her uniform which is left in the scene! Another blooper? Sure! Why not?! Jeremy’s direction is lazy here. Midway through this scene the editing goes to Bunny Bleu and Peter North having sex. The editing midway through the other scene goes to this scene! What the hell?! This is upsetting, but if you’re just looking for sex, then move forward with this I guess. Now, Bleu is blowing North and out of the blue the scene goes back to Byron! That’s right, Tom Byron goes back to having sex with Jennifer Noxt! Holy crap! The editing here is terrible, but the scene gets hotter. Noxt reminds me of an escort that works in Vegas for 100 Proof LV, so that kind of got me excited. Byron has some funny moments with Noxt, and she eventually starts to get into it, right about the time he goes all out and then finishes on her back. After this, the scene goes back to Bunny Bleu and Peter North! The two have better chemistry than in the scene, and while North is once again in work mode, Bleu seems to be enjoying it a lot more. The ending is of course a money shot, with Bleu blowing him to a finish and a nice ender. Bunny Bleu is quite good here, wow.

At this point in the movie there is no more story, you just get straight sex scenes, and lackluster elevator music. This is about one hour and 17 minutes into the movie, and it features Candie Evens and Scott Irish. This is not a terrible scene, and Candie is quite good with Irish. This goes through a blow job before the scene cuts to a threeway between Erica Boyer, Jennifer Noxt, and Tom Byron! The editing really caused me to be a bit upset, but hey, it’s a movie, so grab some popcorn right? I guess. Tom Byron is an allstar here as he stops being a nerd and just goes to town with Noxt and Boyer, just going for it here until he cums on their faces and they keep blowing him. This is a cool scene, and the electric guitar and techno music makes it far better. He finishes and it looks good, with the actors laughing and the screen fading to black before going to a sequence where he sits with Noxt and Boyer and the movie ends.

Not a terrible movie, but not a great one either. The VHS transfer I saw of this wasn’t half bad, but it lacked a lot of chemistry at points. Jennifer Noxt is the one woman that stood out to me, and I will be looking for more of her scenes. “Cheerleader Academy” wasn’t half bad. But it wasn’t that good either, it just kind of ended.

I give “Cheerleader Academy” a 2 out of 5.

This is not a great movie, but it had Tom Byron. Byron did well, North was ok, but some of the women weren’t great, and the editing with music wasn’t that good.

You can purchase “Cheerleader Academy” via various websites.

Did you see “Cheerleader Academy”? Leave me a comment below.

California Blondes (1986) Review

California BLondes (1986) VHS Poster

Mark Curtis produced "California Blondes", and it was directed by Ron Jeremy in1986. I originally found this because I was looking into blonde porn stars, and ran into this movie. I have no clue why I ended up getting a copy after the fact, but now that I’m reviewing it, I definitely found ti have a little bit of charm. Ron Jeremy as director isn’t half bad, but of course, you can’t really judge this movie too much since it’s mostly a gonzo picture. There is a very light story, but the sex starts within 2 minutes of the credits starting. This is a 1986 gonzo picture if you ask me, but of course, there’s a little story thrown in for good measure. There are six total scenes, and this movie stars Briana Star, Scott Apollo, Nikki Night, Tony Montana, Blondi, Samantha Coy, Frank James, and Billy Dee. It’s an interesting throwback to the late 1980s porno scene, but you can tell that this was meant for VHS not the big screen, especially when things really start to get heavy around the 3-minute mark.

The starting line of this movie involves, you guessed it, a blonde talking to a guy. She immediately takes her shorts off, and then pulls out a ruler. I kid you not, she pulls out a ruler and measures the man flaccid. It’s not big, as you can guess, and then she puts her mouth on it, and then goes to town to make it bigger. From there, there’s a weird transition and boom, they started going at it on the kitchen table. The transition from blowjob to straight sex is a bit startling, but hey, it’s a porno right? Briana Star and Scott Apollo do an ok job here, with Scott trying to throw in a little romance as he speeds up and just goes to work. Star is into it for the most part, but the music is distracting and she keeps messing up his hair. Scott is supposed to be kissing and licking Star’s breasts, but there were several moments where he was just rubbing his face around them, and not kissing them or sucking on them. I found that to be funny, and as the scene progressed it was obvious that he was just in “work” mode, not offering kissing, or any romance along the way. Meanwhile, Star just plays the role, and does theatrics to make it interesting, but the chemistry is just not what you may hope for in a porno, which is fine, it’s an adult movie, right?

If you’re a fan of oily, sweaty sex, then you’ll love the next scene, which starts fast and furious. Story is thrown out the window, and the title is odd too. Why? Because Nikki Knight here has black hair, in a movie called “California Blondes”! That threw me off for a moment, but Tony Montana enjoying the two women basically compete to give him head was interesting, and Blondi shows that she’s truly bisexual here. The threesome put on a lot of oil and then go to town on Tony Montana, before he gets into both women, in a scene that has a lot of passion to it. There’s a lot of action here, from every position to Montana withholding cumming for some time, a magnum opus to the fun that porn stars can have. Good on him, I don’t know how he managed, in an age without Viagra. Dude went the distance for this scene, an applause for him, and if you’re turned on by passion ate threesomes, this one is for you, especially the double hand job, holy crap, I had to stop watching for a minute and take a cold shower, or else I wouldn’t be able to finish the review. It’s that good. Holy crap. I would have done this for free, Montana got paid, lucky bastard! This is the scene that makes this movie, by the way.

Frank James and Briana star move the story along and the only thing that was compelling here was the initial measuring of the penis. I’m not sure why Briana Star is measuring flaccid penises or starting blowjobs while her costars are flaccid, but it’s an interesting little note. Here, Frank James has extra foreskin, which is something that I like to see in my porno movies, and I won’t say why. Star here looks like Courtney Love, so if you’re a fan of Hole and like Love, then you may want to imagine this is what she looks like when she’s having sex with people. I kid you not. James sweats like there’s no tomorrow, but Star seems to be very into this scene, getting wet fast, and going to town with James to some terrible synth pop. The décor of the apartment that they are in is funny, especially the couch that looks like it has white leaves all over it. Perhaps the funniest of elements of this scene is midway through the sex where Samantha Coy walks in on the sex, and casually announces that she’s home, etc. Then leaves the apartment. The two actors don’t stop either, they just keep going with passion and fury. Another classic sequence, but I will knock down a few points due to editing. There’s jump cuts here, which I never understood in porn, but hey, that’s what the director wanted. James has a full bush, to Star’s blondish pubic hair, and the two seem to genuinely enjoy their scene. Another good one for this flick.

Tony Montana gets another shot in this movie, this time getting to work with Blondi. Blondi looks familiar, and I may have met her in my days in the business, but I can’t remember. In this scene, she seems to click with Montana, which was evident in the other scene that she’s in with him. In this one she goes nuts on her blow job, and Montana is once again treated like a king. Blondi’s bright eyes may make you fall in love with her, as she has these stunning eyes, to top off her technique of sucking Montana’s soul here. It’s a passionate, frenetic scene, that has terrible music, all done in the kitchen of the same set that Frank James and Briana Star had just contaminated with sweaty, fast paced sex.

Do you like moustaches? Well, Bill Dee is up next and he has one hell of a stache. This threw me off yet again, because Nikki Knight, as you know, doesn’t have blonde hair! What the hell, man? I guess I’m asking for too much based on a movie called “California Blondes”. Knight and Dee do ok, but there’s not the same intensity that Montana and Knight had in a previous scene. It’s not a bad scene, by any means, but it’s definitely not something that I’m going to stick out to me. I did like Knight’s makeup here, so perhaps that’s a saving grace. Dee is in full work mode, sweating up a storm and obviously trying to stop himself from cumming too soon, it’s obvious that he wants to bust several times here, and it’s funny to see the director pan from the sequence to edit what may have been a finish. What a hack job, right? Probably not.

The grand finale is an interesting one. Samantha Coy’s only scene in porno is up next, and it stars Scott Apollo and Billy Dee. Coy looks tentative in this scene, but her classic 1980s glam look immediately caught my attention. Her pale skin, red pubic hair, and bleached blonde hair sprayed hairdo really got me interested in seeing this one. However, it’s apparent that she was nervous, and though Apollo does well to oil her up and massage her into an easier movement forward, it’s obvious that she’s not long for the business. She gets it on with Apollo and Billy dee on a water bed of all places. Her skin has a lot of freckles, and her makeup is half-hazard, but it’s a throwback to the 1980s Hollywood Glam look so you may love her involvement. The sex is fine, but it’s apparent that she’s not that into it, while the guys are just trying to get through the scene. The music once again throws me off, and the water bed is the most intriguing of this whole scenario. Water beds were out by the time I was able to start having sex, so this is a fascinating turn for me, leaving me wondering about how sex was with the waves of water beds of yesteryear.

Ron Jeremy’s direction here is not half bad. His choices to zoom in and edit at times baffled me, but who am I to argue with the hedgehog? It’d be interested to discuss the movie with him, but I don’t have his contact information, nor do I know how much it would cost to get a sit-down interview with the guy. I’m broke, and I’m reviewing his flicks, so maybe someone can tell him to drop me a line. Or not. Ron Jeremy’s book didn’t highlight this production, as I recall, so maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal after all? This is not a great directorial spot for Jeremy, who doesn’t appear on camera, but hey, good for him, he’s a director too.

I give “California Blondes” a 3 out of 5.

It’s a gonzo release that kind of looks like it’s not going to go down that route, but it does. Historians may like that Samantha Coy only did one movie, otherwise this is a 2-scene flick, with an intriguing waterbed sequence at the end. I’m still wishing I could have had a shot with someone on a waterbed. This is not a great movie, but the threesome and any scene with Blondi is worth checking out.

You can find “California Blondes” on vhs and dvd somewhere online, and sometimes for cheap.

Did You See “California Blondes”? If so, drop me a line in the comments.