Friday, April 20, 2018

Lust In The Fast Lane (1984) Review

Lust In The Fast Lane (1984) Poster 
Stepping back into our time machine we are going back to a controversial subject. We are going to be talking about a movie that came out in 1984. While in Japan, I was able to procure a copy of “Lust In The Fast Lane”, and after giving some time to the idea, I’ve decided to review it today. What’s the big deal about this movie? Well, it stars a lot of 1980s stars, including Traci Lords. Now, whether you want to argue with the fact that this movie was made at a certain time in Lords life, or if it’s illegal is up to you. We’ve reviewed LEGAL copies of these movies in the past, and since I purchased this in Japan, I purchased a LEGAL copy of this, and will be reviewing it as such. So let’s go back to 1984, and discuss “Lust In The Fast Lane”, which was later released and edited to not have Traci Lords in it. The stars of the original site included Ginger Lynn, Tom Byron, Crystal Breeze, Traci Lords, Eric Edwards, Peter North, Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Sheri St. Clair, Marc Wallice, and David Sanders. This was originally shown in porno movie theaters and the film grain is completely there, so you’ll note that it is made for theaters, and that includes the story, transitions, and film quality. If you are in Europe, or anywhere else where Traci Lord videos are legal to purchase, or you run into something online, then perhaps, you will want to know whether or not this movie is worth checking out for review or pleasure. The movie is directed by Adam, and it was released by Pink Visuals.

The first thing that comes through is that Tom Byron and Traci Lords are a couple. They want to go somewhere for the weekend. Byron says, let’s get into the car and just go somewhere. Lords says she doesn’t know where to go or where to stay, and well, Byron is all about going out, so the two leave their kitchen, get into a car, and venture off on the road. On the road, the car that they are in breaks down and they have to walk. They end up walking to a random house. In the house they see a random guy that is nude, and a woman in a swimsuit. The couple tell them that the nearest gas station is 15 miles away, and that they should stick around, and stay the night. Lords keeps saying that they don’t want to disturb anyone, and that’s fine. The couple have walked into a home that is very much a swingers house. Everyone is introduced, and they are instructed to just enjoy themselves, and that’s when things go forward with a little sexual encounter to start.

The camera fades and we are taken to doggy style sex and it’s Tom Byron and Ginger Lynn. There’s a deep bass guitar riff happening, and we see Byron getting it on with Lynn, meanwhile, we see a shift to see Crystal Breeze, Traci Lords and Eric Edwards having sex as well. So we see juxtaposition with both sex scenes going on at the same time. I hate how these things work, but I get it. This movie was meant for you to see it in theaters, therefore the sex is cut and edited to show two different scenarios, and they are both quite good overall, but it’s difficult to get a chub going as a result. However, it’s a steady focused sexual film with moaning, movement, sweat, and a rock instrumental. No one is shaved, no one is wearing condoms, and the set looks like some random house in the valley somewhere. There’s not much more that can be said about this, the juxtaposition sucks, going back and forth between sex partners is stupid, and I don’t like how that’s done in the 1980s. However, as far as the literal sex is concerned, it’s fun to see these starts of the past just do it, without having to complicate anything, and if you’re a fan of Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn, you’ll love this opening sex scene as things really work very well. We get two money shots and to the body, and that’s about it.

The sex stops and we see the couples sitting on an old couch. Things are just quiet, before we see the scene change. The scene changes to show Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn sitting on a bed. The lighting is a bit good, and the lens moves in to see the two women start to make out. Soft music starts to play, and it’s a very romantic start to a sexual romp between Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn. The two start to get into the sex, going with oral, scissoring, and getting close together. They move around a great deal and start to moan a bit, enjoying the process of sex, before we see a man join them. After a while of the two enjoying the process of lesbian sex, Peter North shows up, and he’s hard. The two kiss while Peter North masturbates until he cums on their faces. This is a very unique little sequence at around 23 minutes. North really goes hard here, and cums a lot on the two, it’s even done in slow motion to show off the art of the sexual element. There’s a little sexual component to this, at one point it looks as though Ginger Lynn gets doggy style but it’s not a long sex scene with North involved. Lords doesn’t get involved with the sex, other than getting oral.

We move next to a den and there’s Tom Byron and 3 women. The host says that the ladies will have a good idea as to what to do next, and that’s when they get nude. Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Shery St. Clair, and Tom Byron start to have sex here. It’s a four some that starts with Byron getting blown soft, and it appears to be a struggle for him to get hard even though he has 4 women on him. The women are all brunettes, all natural, curvy, and look a bit older. Byron looks so young here, and eventually he gets hard enough to have sex. It’s obvious that he’s not that into the women here, and while the music starts to get louder, the moaning comes through as well, and it’s interesting to see this scene. It’s a bit awkward, but eventually Byron gets into it, even though the women are over acting. Eventually, Byron gives a money shot and that’s the end.

The scene switches and we get a little interlude between Tracy Lords and Tom Byron before we are taken to another part of the house.

The next part of the house features Sheri St. Clair, David Sanders, Marc Wallice, and Peter North. Sheri St. Clair has large natural breasts, a thin frame, and way too much makeup to make her look a little younger than she is. She’s got a full bush, has long curly brunette hair, and it’s interesting to see her here. She gives the guys a blow job here, and they aren’t that hard. It’ funny to see the dudes struggling and eventually getting harder. Peter North especially is not hard, as St. Clair tries to put two penises in her mouth, and they are not that hard. It’s funny to compare size here. The rock music is good here. The men go forward with having sex, and the highlight here is a double penetration point. There’s a DP sequence while St. Clair blows another guy, and it’s not half bad. It’s rare to see DP in these movies, so it’s interesting to see this one, and there’s no condom of course. Eventually all the dudes cum and that’s the end.

We are taken to a patio where Traci Lords and Tom Byron talk, and like to stay a little longer. The two then move to the inside of the house, some romantic saxophone music plays, and we see a shift.

This time around we see Tom Byron and Traci Lords making out in a bubble bath. Lords reaches Byron and starts to blow him. He gets hard fast here, and you can tell that he’s into the process, and has chemistry with Lords. He’s done several scenes with Lords at the time of filming this movie, so it’s known that they are good together. There’s some reciprocating oral before Traci and Tom start to have sex. The sex stars, and you can see that Lords gets wet for Byron, and the two have sex on some tiles while the bubble bath starts to dissipate a little. This is a simple sex scene, doesn’t last too long and eventually gets Byron to cum on Lords’ backside and that’s it. This is a simple sex scene that doesn’t last too long, mind you, and then just ends.

After the sex, we are taken to a hallway where Tom says he needs to get going home, but the host says that there is one last activity that he should stay for, and that’s a group sex scene. Crystal Breeze, Ginger Lynn, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, David Sanders, Eric Edwards, Marc Wallice, Peter North, and Tom Byron engage in an orgy to finish off this movie. I’ve seen plenty of porno movies and different stories that have come from them, and this ending sequence is not that titillating. There’s just too much going on here, and lots of camera switches with different focuses. You don’t really know who’s who here, until you start to get a few shots that pull away from the action. While this is functional, and I know that the people involved are having sex, and for the most part are enjoying the process of filming this scene, you can’t really get that focus that you need to get too excited. The camera is everywhere, doesn’t stick around with many of the couples, and just keeps going forward between everyone having sex. All of the sex ends, and we see Tom Byron say that he’s had enough sex.

After the sex ends, he gets bitten. Then smoke comes through the scene, and the men and women all say that he’s one of them now. They keep saying, “you’re one of us now”, and he’s scared, but he’s been bitten, and you find out that this has been a vampire ritual, and they all have fangs! What a twist ending! Tom Byron has been bitten and we see that he’s now a vampire too! That’s the end of this film, and wow, what a weird twist of fate.

I give “Lust In The Fast Lane” a 3 out of 5.

I would give this less of a score but that ending really got me, and it was interesting to see a porno movie with a twist ending like that. I haven’t witnessed a lot of twists and turns in porno quite like that. As for the sex, it’s ok, Traci Lords is fine in it, nothing special to remember, and the rest of the crew did ok as well. It’s kind of a short porno movie that really doesn’t pick up until the end where things really get wild. If you’re a huge fan of Lords, perhaps you’ll want to get this one, just not in the United States. Other than that, meh, I can’t say much more about this one.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Stupid Cupid (2000) Review

Stupid Cupid (2000) DVD Cover 
Today we are going back to our time machine and we are going to be visiting the year 2000. Remember Y2K? Well that never happened. Either way, it’s interesting to see how things all shape up, and how things turn around and become different overall. In 2000, I was in love with Stacy Valentine’s work, and so that’s how I was introduced to “Stupid Cupid”. This movie came out in 2000, and it was directed by Jim Enright, and was distributed by VCA. The movie has a plot, and it was a good budget, but is it any good? Well, let’s find out what this Stacy Valentine feature has to offer us today, in 2018 as we explore “Stupid Cupid”. The movie stars Stacy Valentine, Mark Davis, Keisha, Dillon Day, Heather Lyn, Steve Hatcher, Shelbee Myne, Pat Myne, Dillon Day, and Kyle Stone.

We start the movie with the credits, as per usual. The credits begin to role and we are introduced to the cast, all of which are stars from the time frame. There’s a whimsical tune playing as we see clouds come through. The movie begins, and we see Cupid. He’s laying down on a cloud and then falls off as Jupiter talks to him. Cupid puts on his glasses and he is told that he botched the last scenario. He is behind on his schedule, and he makes excuses. The instructions he receives are that he needs to get people to fall in love. SO, he gets his bow and arrow, and a flask, and he gets to work. He falls off a cloud and into real life.

Cupid lands on a couch in a random office. Cupid gets upset, and then falls over on a couch. There’s a lawyer that calls in Stacy Valentine, and then requests that she works the weekend. But before things can move forward Cupid hits the man with an arrow, and then walks away drunk. The lawyer perks right up and starts to smile a great deal.

The scene changes and we see Stacy Valentine in her office as she gets visited by her boyfriend. Cupid sits on a cabinet and the two talk. The two discuss how it’s not good that Stacy has to work the weekend, and we are taken back to the first office.

In the first office we see Cupid again, and he sends an arrow straight into a woman’s butt where the lawyer and her start kissing. They immediately get into the action.

Some soft music starts, and we start to see Keisha and Dillon Day start to makeout a little. But that’s not all, in a random closet, Mark Davis and Stacy Valentine start to makeout, and get naked. This is a juxtaposed scene where both couples are having sex. The director cuts between the two scenes, and it’s quite interesting to do so. This is not like the 1980s splicing, it’s a bit more deliberate, and less distracting for some reason. Keisha is a milf, looks older, has reddish brown hair, a thin frame, and extra large breasts. Stacy Valentine at this point is looking amazing, has gone through her breast implant surgery, and has a thin frame, with blonde hair and beautiful eyes. She is one of the most popular porno actresses in 2000 and it shows as she really seems to take off with Mark Davis. The blow job sequence with Mark Davis is truly a good one and really helps set the tone for Valentine’s work. On the other hand, Keisa and Dillon Day seem to lack chemistry a bit, and while it is an adequate sex scene, put side by side to what Stacy Valentine and Mark Davis are doing is definitely a mistake, because one is definitely better than the other. Mark Davis puts on a condom and starts to have sex with Stacy Valentine standing up. This is a good sequence, and the two seem to really like working with one another as there’s moans and groans, and a steady stream of sweat coming off of the two. Stacy doesn’t look into the camera she’s into Mark Davis, and it shows. Flipping switches, when you see Keisha and Dillon Day, you get something that is a little more mechanical in nature. It works fine, but it’s obviously mechanical compared to what you get with Stacy Valentine and Mark Davis. I’m not sure why the director wanted to juxtapose both sequences back and forth, but it’s done fine. I prefer seeing Stacy Valentine with minimal makeup, and on board with pure sex than Keisha’s scene here. At around 20 minutes Mark Davis has a cum shot onto Stacy Valentine’s face, and it’s grand. Valentine licks and sucks a little after the fact, which always drives me nuts, so that’s a nice little end to their scene. We are thrown back to the office and we see Dillon Day going for anal, and it’s not bad, the two seem to have garnered a bit more chemistry by that point, and while there’s condoms involved it still looks good. Keisha overacts, and it really doesn’t look all that natural, even though she has a full pubic mound of hair. The scene is adequately lit, the office is nice, and the music is a smooth jazz number. Cupid, on the other hand has passed out on the floor, just in case you were wondering. There’s a money shot, but the best part of it is Keisha blowing Dillon after he cums, which like I said, drives me crazy and is a tremendous thing to end with when you’re with someone.

The sex ends and we see Cupid crawling his way towards a filing cabinet and getting more of his flask. We then see the couples returning to normal. This sequence furthers the plot a little, and we are taken to another set. This time we see Cupid sleeping on a black couch at a party. The party features Heather Lyn, Stacy Valentine, and Steve Hatcher. Cupid wakes up groggy, and he gets his bow and arrow and then sets his sights on the trio. The arrow hits Heather Lyn, then Cupid recovers and sends another arrow their way and it hits Stacy Valentine. Steve Hatcher gets pulled away by the two women and Cupid goes back to getting another sip of his flask. Heather Lyn is a tall, brunette with her hair up, and has small breasts, a thin frame, and tanned skin. Stacy Valentine is wearing a little black dress here, and the trio immediately go into the bedroom and start to go into oral.

Heather Lyn, Stacy Valentine and Steve Hatcher have a threesome here. The smooth jazz is turned down a little, and it has some good guitar work, but we are really focusing on Steve Hatcher going down on Stacy Valentine and making her wet and moaning outright. Lyn pulls up her dress and then gets eaten out by Stacy Valentine as Hatcher goes to work on her. A condom comes on and Steve Hatcher goes forward with having sex with Stacy Valentine first. The two have serious chemistry and they’ve worked together before, and you can tell. They know how to please, and the camera just needs to sit in and watch as Hatcher makes Valentine scream with pleasure at one point. Lyn gets into the action too, and after a few minutes of the trio, Hatcher cums on the two’s faces and that’s the end of the scene. A nice tidy threesome that didn’t last too long is what you get here.

The scene ends and we see Cupid falling over and leaving the living room. He is in the kitchen of the house drinking. Cupid aims at Shelbee Myne and hits her with an arrow. Shelbee Myne wears high heels, a small party dress, has red hair, and a young face. She has a thin frame, and looks tall for the camera, but that’s because she’s wearing some very high heels. She goes to sit down and talks to Keisha.

The two women are hit by Cupid, and they go to the same bedroom that we had the threesome just one scene before. The two immediately disrobe, and get to work. Keisha and Shelbee Myne start with oral. Keisha’s not shaved, is an older woman and seems to be more turned on by this scene then the other one. Shelbee Myne has a tong piercing, and really gives a good bit of oral. There is a dildo in place, and we see an interesting focal point overall. After the two go back and forth, another dildo is introduced, and the two go back and forth with it, just having sex with their legs above their heads and the camera staying steady with the far away and close up shots. It’s a nice little scene where the two women seem to kno what they are doing, and really enjoying the process of going back and forth with dildos, hands, and tongues. The only thing that throws me off is that the women have long nails, but other than that, it’s a well lit, interesting lesbian scene that seems to really be better than the other Keisha scene that’s for sure.

We get moving forward and we are in the living room again, and there’s Cupid throwing arrows again. This time he hits Heather Lyn and Pat Myne. The two fall over on one another on the couch while Cupid passes out on another couch, and then crawls away from the scene of the sex.

In the living room during the party, we see Hather Lyn and Pat Myne getting into sex starting with oral. There’s a soft 16 bit soundtrack underneath the moaning, and Myne goes forward with fingering Lyn and getting her wet. It’s an interesting start to their sequence as Lyn really gets into this, and starts to get wet before she decides she needs to blow Pat. Then we get to the blow job which is soft, slow, and visually appealing. It’s not a terrible sequence, but it lacks a certain passion to it, but hey, it got Pat Myne hard, so what am I complaining about? A condom comes on and Heather Lyn gets on top of Pat and the two start to have sex with a great deal of moaning to start. However, after a few minutes, Lyn wants anal and goes into reverse cowgirl for anal and one hand in her vagina. The sex is a bit more fascinating than the other points in this movie, and she is genuinely wet and enjoying the process, giving as much as Pat pushes. After a position change to doggy style, we continue with anal but Myne cums on Lyn and that’s the end of this little sequence.

We are taken to the kitchen and Cupid is once again sitting around. He shoots an arrow at Dillon Day and then he starts to kiss a lingerie wearing Shelbee Myne.

Shelbee Myne is hoisted onto a countertop in the kitchen by Dillon Day and the lingerie starts to come off. We start things off with oral, and it’s not bad, Myne gets wet, and then Day gets a little oral before putting on a condom and going into sex. This is a rapid fire sequence so if you expected long foreplay scenes and lots of sex, you are not going to love this because it starts around the 57 minute mark and the movie isn’t that long. Myne puts one leg up on the counter and then Day goes in from behind the both standing up and letting Myne get all of him as he pushes into her. The music drowned out by Myne’s orgasms, and screams, making this an interesting little sequence to watch. The two go through a few position changes before things turn into the finish with Dillon cumming on Myne’s face. SShe blows him a little after the fact, and that’s always a great ending for me, and that’s it.

Jupiter yells at Cupid overall. Cupid says that he has feelings for Stacy Valentine and Jupiter yells at him a bit. The two keep arguing until Cupid is told that he can have sex with Stacy Valentine if he likes, so Cupid loses his powers. He shows up in the office and Stacy Valentine is shocked. Cupid reveals himself to Valentine and is now a mortal. He’s played by Kyle Stone, and tells his story to Stacy and how things have changed for him. This occurs at around one hour and 7 minutes, mind you, and the movie isn’t that long. Stacy Valentine takes Cupid’s glasses off and Jupiter hits Valentine with an arrow, some soft music starts and we are going to the final sequence.

Kyle Stone, still dressed as cupid starts to undress Stacy Valentine in the office she’s been in the whole movie. Underneath her business suit she has white lingerie on and the two start to slowly move towards undressing, and getting into the sex at hand. The sequence starts with kissing then goes to oral with Stacy Valentine really giving a great performance with the oral. If you’re a fan of hers, then you’ll love how she works with Stone here, and I’m not sure how Stone didn’t cum early for this sequence. The lingerie is pink now, a stark change to the sequence. Valentine’s tattoos show on this one so if you didn’t know she had them, you see them in this movie. She blows stone a bit, a condom comes on and we are taken to the sex. The sex starts in reverse cowgirl and you see it all, with Valentine working up a sweat as she gives Stone as much as he pushes, then the screen fades a little and we go to doggy style. Valentine breaks character to say that she can feel Stone’s balls on her, and then the two keep going with Valentine moaning and screaming, and pushing back on Stone, a great little sequence of sexual prowess with chemistry between the two. Fake or not, the chemistry here is undeniable and really gets you excited if you’re a fan of Valentine. It is a pleasure enriched scene that is rare in my reviews.

I give “Stupid Cupid” a 4 out of 5.

If you’re a fan of Stacy Valentine and you want to see more of her, then you’ll want to get this DVD. It has a lot of Stacy, and there’s a good plot point, with some good overall sex at times, and some interesting plot points with Kyle Stone’s performance as Cupid kind of funny. The overall sex is ok, but Stacy Valentine turns a movie that should be terrible, into one that is well worth watching, and perhaps many times if you’re a fan of hers.

You can purchase “Stupid Cupid” on DVD or stream it by clicking here and getting 15 minutes free for starting up! That’s right, click here and pick up this Stacy Valentine movie for your collection, or download it.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Witch’s Tail (2000) Review

A Witch's Tail (2000) DVD Cover
Today we are going to venture to the year 2000. This movie was produced in 1999 but was released in 2000, and it is a movie that was directed by Bud Lee. Bud Lee takes on the director’s chair and the distribution company here is Adam and Eve. The movie that we will be reviewing today, is none other than, “Witch’s Tail”. This is a movie that I first caught wind of on the Spice Network, which is a cable channel that showed adult movies, but didn’t show the penetration or the erect penis. If you have seen that style of porn, it’s so odd, and yet so thrilling at the same time. Anyways, the stars of this movie include Julie Meadows, Chris Cannon, Cheyenne Silver, Steve Hatcher, Asia Carrera, Rayveness, Alexandra Silk, Anna Malle, Joel Lawrence, and Jon Dough. This is a higher end production and it has a story, which means it could be good, right? Well, let’s hope so.

The graphic sup front are interesting, with a focus on the budget. The credits come in with cool fonts and interesting colors, and we see a man riding a horse. A woman is on the side of the road and it appears to be back in the day. We are going back in time in this picture, even though it was filmed in the late 1990s, and released in 2000. The movie shows a Victorian woman with an umbrella, while a man is in the wild, riding on a horse as the credits come through.

Once the credits stop, we see a man in a confederate uniform. He comes to a woman and says that he has waited too long to see her. We then see that it’s a woman writing a novel, and is having a hard time coming up with a poetic way of describing the scene. After a few breaks, we get sent to a love making scene with the two characters.

For this sex scene, we start with Julie Meadows and Chris Cannon. Julie Meadows is all dressed up, and is a blonde with a shaved pubic mound. She’s a bit older here, and has long blonde hair, and a milf’s face, with nice legs, big teeth, and a thin body. The scene kicks in with some instrumental music, and Cannon going in for oral. After some oral, Meadows gets on her knees to blow Cannon while he’s still in the confederate uniform, mind you. The blow job is ok, nothing too fancy, and the director pushes you through the outer elements that they are in. They are outdoors, with natural lighting, and the exteriors are interesting, as they contrast with the sex that is about to go down. After some oral, we see a full frame view of the action, with Cannon going deep with Meadows. She’s naked, has small breasts, and the two focus on reverse cowgirl to start. The music dips a little and you hear the two’s bodies hitting one another, alongside Meadows moaning a great deal. The sound is enough to get you started if you’re looking for a scene to deliver a little tension relief. There’s no condom here, and after a few minutes, things switch up to anal and you really get a sense for the size, shape, and overall chemistry that the two have as Meadows squeals and gets louder as the two engage in anal. It’s a good scene, mind you, and it’s well lit with a standard of chemistry that I haven’t seen in a lot of movies up to this point. After some back and forth, anal, and different positions Cannon cums on Meadow’s face, and that’s the end of this scene.

After the scene, we get cut to a woman writing in her journal. She says that she’s having a hard time writing a novel, and she’s not sure how to continue. We see that it’s Asia Carrera and she’s just having writer’s block. A phone rings and she picks up, and talks to a publisher and says that she’s not lost on ideas. The publisher says that the next book has to be good, and it has to get into the top 10, and things should go very well or else. Then we progress with the story.

The story shows Asia Carrera and another brunette getting introduced to a random old dude. He has an accent that sounds a little like Sean Connery. The two women go into the study and we find out that it’s Carrera’s characters aunt, and she’s passed. She looks at all the pictures and notices that in every single one, the woman that has passed doesn’t age. It’s a weird coincidence at first, but she shrugs it off.

Next, we see Asia Carrera in a room on her laptop, when a wind comes in. The wind brings smoke and she looks out into a hallway. In that hallway are two people, and they start to kiss as Asia looks on.

Cheyenne Silver and Steve Hatcher start to makeout a little when an instrumental song starts. The next moment we see Silver on her knees sucking away at Hatcher. Cheyenne Silver is a thin, young woman with brunette hair, a thin frame, and is dressed like she is in the Gilded Age. The two are on a balcony for this scene, and they don’t have much chemistry at all. It’s a function sex scene, with a little moaning, but the music turns down and you get to see it all, and it’s not that grand. The lighting is dark, and you can barely see what’s going on, and at one point it looks like Hatcher’s wearing a condom, but I can’t really tell because the blocking and lighting is really bad. Silver is ok, but you can’t really see much of her in this scene, which gets done faster than expected. Silver is pretty, don’t get me wrong, but the lighting leaves a lot to be desired so don’t expect much from this one. The scene is interesting and the scenario works for the story here, while Asia looks on to see what’s going on. When the lighting gets a little better around the 30 minute mark, we see that Hatcher’s wearing a condom, and the scene really isn’t that fun to watch honestly. It’s ok at best.

After this night scene we are taken to a shower. We see Asia Carrera in the shower lathering up and enjoying the steam. Then we are taken outside where Rayveness and Asia Carrera are sun bathing. Some soft music starts, and the bikinis come off.

Rayveness and Asia Carrera start to kiss, and then goes into oral. Rayveness here is younger, has brunette hair and tanned skin, with a pretty face, and nice body. She wears sunglasses here, and Asia Carrera here is trimmed, and looking great as you’d expect. The extent of the scene is mostly oral, and there’s not much to it, other than just pure sex, with the exception of Rayveness turning away and looks to be turned into a witch and disappears! This was an easy going scene with not a lot of action.

After the lesbian sex scene we see the publisher showing up and asking about the next chapter of Asia’s book. She gets mad, and then tells him that she’s going to get his job done if she’d leave her alone. After that, we are taken to the inside of the home where a random woman shows up. It appears to be Alexandra Silk, I think. She invites Asia Carrera to a party.

The next scene is the party. Some soft alternative rock music instrumentals start and we are taken to what appears to be a swingers party. Joel Lawrence, Alexandra Silk and Anna Malle start to kiss and make out, then oral begins. This is a fully blown threesome and Asia Carrera is there watching, and looking uncomfortable. Joel Lawrence wears a condom for this scene and it’s not bad. Anna Malle is a tanned, loud woman with large breasts and an Italian look to her. Alexandra Silk is a hippy looking woman with reddish hair, full bush, thin frame, and young face. The trio work through several different positions and lots of moaning and dirty talk, with good lighting until Lawrence comes on Anna Malle’s body. It’s a good scene with a nice finish but it’s not long, and just has some bad editing. Other than that, the scene has some chemistry, just not a lot of it. It’s ok at best.

After the scene we are taken to where Joel Lawrence is and he asks Asia Carrera where she was. She slaps Lawrence and runs away.

We are then taken to a place where Asia asks about what is going on. She talks to the care taker, and he tells her about Carrera’s aunt. It’s here that we get the full story, and it turns out that the aunt was a witch and the care taker talks about how he is there to take care of intruders and more. Then we see some laughable moments where he gets a sword and vanquishes a witch that shows up, only to leave Asia Carrera in a white nightgown and Jon Dough to show up as the reincarnation of the caretaker. This is an odd turn, but hey, it’s a porno, right?

Asia Carrera and Jon Dough begin to have oral sex, with a focus on her for once. They are outdoors, in the dark, and just begin with subtle foreplay into oral. There’s no condom here, it’s straight forward sex, with nothing too great to start. There’s an instrumental soundtrack here, and straight forward bare sex. It’s slow, methodical, and artsy. Carrera lies on her back for the most part. After some time the two switch positions and we get to doggy style, and Jon Dough just looks very mechanical compared to what Asia Carrera looks like. Carrera pushes back and seems to be cumming naturally while Dough just seems to be in work mode for the most part. It’s a dichotomy that occurs in porn a lot. The lighting is bad, the sound design shifts to just the sounds of the fire, and moaning from Carrera. The two continue in doggy style until Dough cums on her butt and that’s it. The scene ends, and we are left with the rest of the story. This scene isn’t that great, no matter how much Asia Carrera seems to like the sex, Dough just throws me off as a mechanical participant.

After the sex, we see Lawrence and Carrera talking about how the story just came to her, and that’s it. The two are left in an office and we see the end. Nothing special, and the credits role, and that’s about it.

I give “A Witch’s Tail” a 3 out of 5.

There’s a lot of lighting issues that mired the scenes here. Other than that, it seemed mechanical for the most part, with just a few saving graces. I didn’t find it to be grand at all, and while the opening sex scene does get you a bit hard, the rest is just boring, including the ending. Now, if you’re a big fan of Asia Carrera then you’ll want to pick this up for your collection.

You can purchase “A Witch’s Tail” on DVD or stream it by clicking here, and see what you think about the movie starring Asia Carrera.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Breeders (1996) Review

Breeders (1996) Poster
Well, here we go again, it’s time to get back into our time machine and look at the 1990s. It’s here that we are going to find out a bit more about a movie that has a lot of stars from the past, and some that you may be familiar with. This time around we are going to a larger budget movie option that was directed by Brad Armstrong, and distributed by Metro. This movie is called “Breeders”. It was released in 1996, and it has a higher budget than most. The stars of this movie include Sindee Coxx, Peter North, Dawn Burning, Kaitlyn Ashley, Alex Sanders, Sean Rider, Nadia Moore, Steve Drake, Anna Malle, Ruby, Gina LaMarca, Jon Severini, and Asia Carrera. The movie seems interesting enough, but is it any good? Well, let’s find out and see what’s up with this release from Metro.

From the start of the movie, you can tell that there was a higher budget than most. This movie starts with a very video game style introduction, with a lot of noise, and audio production to the credits. You really get a feel for the post-apocalyptic element that you’re going to be witnessing in this movie, that’s for sure.

Earth has become split into a few different factions. Those that are breeders and those that are not. The non-breeders are a band of criminals that want to kill everyone else. They are an underground group. They are criminals, and after the nuclear war killed everyone, only 12 people were left to breed. This is all talked about in the introduction which features a narrative voice. We see Peter North walking around a desolate area, which seems to me to be a spot near Inglewood.

Peter North runs into a busty blonde haired woman, and it’s none other than Sindee Coxx. Sindee Coxx gets on her knees and starts to blow Peter North. Sindee Coxx is a blonde haired, busty woman, and she has that California porno look. There’s a weird saxophone driven soundtrack that begins, and North stands amidst some dirt trees, with shadows being pushed to the side by the lighting rigs of the movie. It’s not well lit, but it’s lit enough to see what’s going on, and it’s Coxx going to town before North and her decide to have sex. The sex is adequate, the angles are ok, Peter North always looks like he’s in work mode, while Coxx seems to get wet and really get into the sex, even if it doesn’t last that long. The two work out well enough in multiple positions until North cums on Coxx’s pubic hair.

After North cums, we see some Roman Reigns looking dude come through and says, “they were here”. Then you are taken to an underground lair where a few guys are talking about how they need to kill more breeders. This is definitely a post-apocalyptic area, and it’s interesting to see, no doubt.

After the guys say they need to get more breeders, the camera takes us to prison cell. It’s here that Dawn Burning, Kaitlyn Ashley, Alex Sanders and Sean Rider are. They are kissing, moaning, and starting to take off their clothes. The two women are blonde haired, big breasted women, with your classic porno look. One is tanned, the other isn’t. There’s a pubic mound that is trimmed, and there seems to be some genuine chemistry between the couples. For this scene, the lighting is great, the set dressing looks like something out of the “Walking Dead”, and close ups are really close, giving you a very specific view of the oral, and the different positions. The women seem to get into it, and the guys are hard, making this an interesting scene. The music is good too, and the only downside is the many shadows that are in here, which counteract with the glare of my television screen as I try to review this. Other than that, it’s an artistic balanced scene that you could easily splice into “The Walking Dead” and get fanfare for. At one point there is anal, and I wonder why the purpose of breeders would garner such a thing. I thought the purpose was repopulation? Then I remembered, this is a porno. At the 24 minute mark, the director accidentally shows what appears to be Sean Rider trying to get hard, and not being able to perform, so the edit goes back to Sanders, going in with anal. It threw me off balance, and it really doesn’t do well for the scene, and as the scene progressed there’s a lot of blocking, to ensure that you don’t see his short comings in the scene.

After the sex is done, we see the breeders putting on their clothes, and they are attacked by the rebels on motorcyles, and they have guns. They are all casually shooting at the breeders, and one of them gets shot in the arm. From this point forward we get a lot more story. We are taken through the story and lots of dialogue. There’s some clever acting from Steve Drake, Asia Carrera, and others. It’s actually not bad, and if you were to splice the non-sex elements of this movie, you’d actually get a nice little science fiction piece. After some back and forth between the tribes, and Steve Drake’s character introduced we are taken to the memories of his character.

Nadia Moore and Steve Drake are stuck in his memory, and he is slowly caressing and kissing her. They are about to have sex in what appears to be a military outpost. They start slow, with oral, and then start to go forward with a few sensual moments before engaging in sex. The music here is slow, methodical, and artsy, with a focus on the scenario as an art piece, even if there is a bit of sex involved. There’s a sense of purity to the sex here, and it’s interesting to see. However, Nadia Moore doesn’t seem that interested in Drake, and while he’s a pro, the scene lacks that authentic sensuality and chemistry that I feel is necessary for a good sex scene. Remember, this is a fantasy, so it’s interesting to see how this doesn’t really fulfill that element for me. It’s artsy, it’s hardcore, but without that little extra, it’s just two people going through the motions, and it shows. There’s not much to this sex scene, there’s minimal focus on the actual sex, Drake blows his load into Moore’s face, and the music continues to be erotic and we then get a director’s slow down to show off that this is art, not just porn. It’s not a terrible scene, but it lacks that certain sensuality that you’d expect from porn. It is a cool scene to watch though.

Up next we are taken to another lair and this time, it’s Alex Sanders meeting Ruby, and Anna Malle. However, the director has slowed everything down to the point where it’s kind of a terrible scene. The sound design is good, the artsy nature of the sex is not lost on me, but it’s so slow at times that it is just like flipping through a porno and watching the images kind of shift. It’s a lackluster scene that really ends with a cum shot and that’s it. You barely see the women, and the lighting is so bad, that you can’t really tell what’s going on with some of the shadows that are in place.

After the terrible sex scene, we are taken to a mercenary with a shot gun. This is a tall redheaded woman, and she asks for one of the bad guys to take off his clothing. She points a shotgun to him, and finds out that he has water, and then takes it from him, drinking the water and letting it drip on her body. This woman is Gina LaMarca and she is an older redhead, with a lot of makeup. She immediately starts kissing the rebel, and we are taken to the next scene.

In this scene, we are treated to Gina LaMarca and Jon Severini having sex. It starts with oral on her, and then moves forward to the traditional elements. She keeps her boots on. She is a tall redhead with a shaved pubic area, but with a clear landing strip, a tan body, and large augmented breasts. Severini and her have some great chemistry together and though the director again uses slow motion to capture some of it, and the music is horrendous, the two seem to work well together here. The two have sex in multiple positions, but mainly doggy style, but it’s mired by the director’s decision to use slow motion again, and keep the sound and music at full speed. It takes you away from the action, as the lighting shifts because they are outside. It’s a bad scene, and truly a baffling decision if you ask me. The two go well together, and the sex is fine when not in slow motion, but it’s the lighting, music, and lack of chemistry that gets me towards the end of the scene, which starts off nicely, and then mellows out towards the end. It’s like watching an escort work for an hour. Eventually Severini cums and it lands in LaMarca’s face a little, and that’s it. He’s not a big guy, and she doesn’t seem that interested in the sex, yelling out at the end and barely looking sweaty at all. It’s a lackluster display if you ask me.

After they have sex, the rebels come down on motorcycles and they are shot by the two. They get on their motorcycles and run off to another outdoor post.

I don’t know why, but the next scene after this includes Gina LaMarca and Jon Severini having sex again. That’s right, there’s essentially a duplicate scene from what you just saw, only this time it’s full speed, full sex, and features a cum shot to the back of LaMarca’s body. It’s not that good, it’s fast, and the lighting is horrendous. But at least we don’t get that crappy slow motion for this one. LaMarca moans a great deal, and the camera ends the sex fast.

After the sex, we see Steve Drake and Asia Carrera running to the lair of the bad guys with guns, and they go in guns blazing. They then go in and shoot the main guy, and we come to find out that he was a breeder all along. Drake shoots him, and that’s it. All of the bad guys are killed and we are left with just Breeders.

The movie takes a lighter tone when we see Asia Carrera and Steve Drake outside some abandoned building. Asia Carrera gets on her knees and starts to blow Steve Drake. The worst thing about this is the slow motion, and the director once again goes for artsy, with a focus on music that is sold at a swap meet by some Peruvian flautists. Steve Drake and Asia Carrera have sex outdoors, and it’s not a bad scene, if it wasn’t all done in slow motion! Asia is a beautiful woman, needs no introduction, and Drake really works well with her. The two seem to have some great chemistry in this sex scene, and while the motions are good, and you really get a feel for the sex, the slow motion elements mixed with real audio sounds is a horrible way to cast this. Drake eventually cums on Asia’s pubic mound and that’s it. We get a short, slow motion sex scene that was probably much funner for the actors to do than for me to watch. I didn’t even get half a chub, which makes this an odd finish to a cool movie.

I give “Breeders” a 2 out of 5.

This is a terrible movie. However, it’s interesting, it has a lot of cool elements to it, but it lacks all of the elements that make a good porno movie, good. The sex kind of sucks, but the story is cool, and the ideas are great. But the choice to make a lot of the sex slow motion and artsy really takes me out of it. Plus, the Asia Carrera scene should’ve been longer in my view. But then again, hey, I am not the director, I’m just a guy reviewing movies.

You can check out “Breeders” and see if you like it, as it is available on DVD, streaming, and other mediums. Click here to pick it up and get 15 minutes free for starting a trial. I didn’t hate it, but I also didn’t love it. Maybe you will, though.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Big Game (1997) Review

Big Game (1997) Poster
Today we go forward in time from the last review, and we see ourselves in the 1990s. We will be visiting 1997 where we pick up a movie with a higher budget than most, and a full story that would’ve been easily put in a movie theater had this been in the 1980s. This is 1997 of course, so it’s not filmed with such high resolution, but there are some artsy elements, and the movie starts with some great introductory elements. The movie that we are going to be reviewing today is none other than, “Big Game” from 1997. The movie was directed by David Stanley and was distributed by Arch Angel. It has all the elements that you’d expect from a 1990s movie, including some of the stars. The stars of this movie include, Coral Sands, Sindee Coxx, Tiffany Mynx, Randee Lee, Tom Byron, Felecia, Billy Glide, Alyssa Love, Don Fernando, Jay Ashley, Melissa Hill, and Stephanie Swift. Is “Big Game” any good? Well, let’s find out by looking into what goes on in this movie from 1997.

The opening sequence lets you in on the story. You are told about three women that are on trial, and it’s a media story. The newscaster talks about the women that are on trial and why, and then we move forward to the court room. The courtroom set is really good, and quite interesting. The set features a real courtroom with all of the bells and whistles that you’d expect. A witness is called to the stand, and within 3 minutes we get thrown into the action of sex.

Coral Sands, Sindee Coxx, and Tiffany Mynx get involved with a sex scene where all of them get involved. Sindee Coxx has a strap on, and the other women just get undressed. Two of them are blonde, and one is brunette. They are all thin, have nice curves, long legs, and large breasts. They each moan, and at times scream as they are eaten out, and use their fingers on each other. This is a hardcore lesbian sex scene and has a great deal of passion involved, including the moments where the strap on is used. Coxx doesn’t have large breasts ,I take that back. There’s a bit of anal at one point, and for the most part these women seem to be very interested in pleasing one another, not just playing up for the camera, which is a good sign. There’s a decent soundtrack to this, and the sex is adequate for the most part. This seems like a lengthy seem by the 10 minute mark, even though it’s not that long, and well, it works for the most part, but it’s not something that that is going to get many people into. I think there’s a lack of camera work at times, and while Coral Sands screams at one point, there’s still something that is intangible here, and I’m not sure what it is. It’s a decent opener, and some good overall screams and moans, with an interesting setting, that being the judges desk inside a courtroom, but other than that, I am not sold. Of course, we see an audience, including Tom Byron. Tom Byron plays Frankie The Fishing Cowboy, and it’s funny watch the interval.

After the quick comedic routine, we are taken to a random bedroom where Tom Byron has called a pretty lady. He’s in a makeup chair and asks what the woman in the bedroom is wearing, meanwhile the makeup artist is starting to rub him and then starts to blow him.

Randee Lee and Tom Byron start to enjoy themselves, while Byron is in the makeup chair. Randee Lee is a tanned skin brunette, with a curvy body. Tom Byron has dyed blonde haired in this sequence, and we see the two start with a blow job. The director sends us to the bedroom where Melissa Hill is listening in on the duo and pleasing herself while on the phone. This scene has a duality to it, that is unlike the 1980s hard cuts, as we get sent back and forth between Hill masturbating with a dildo and Tom Byron getting it on with the makeup lady.

All of this is interesting, and during the sequence we are sent to another room where Steven St. Croix is in an interrogation room or somewhere with a wire, listening into Melissa Hill’s conversation with Tom Byron.

The director goes back to Randee Lee and Tom Byron, and they are having sex now. There’s no condom here, and it’s a slow moving progressive sex scene. Lee is pretty, in that southern California style, with augmented breasts, and tan lines. The music here isn’t terrible, the set is a warehouse makeup chair and desk, and the director lets you see all of the points of insertion. Despite the good production, and music, the two don’t seem to have much chemistry together, and that really makes for a boring scene. I hate when there seems to be a lack of passion, and it shows here. Byron and Lee do their jobs, but that’s it, it just looks like a job and they keep going through the motions, and that’s it. It happens. At the 22 minute mark there is anal, of course. It’s a slow start as usual, and it goes forward a bit before concluding the entire scene. During the anal scene, I noticed that there was a dip in sound design and quality, and while the two did get into the sex a little more, it lacked that passion that you’d expect from sexual partners. You’d have to see this to understand, but it’s just robotic to me. There is a cum shot at the end where Tom Byron cums on Randee Lee, and then we see Melissa Hill finish herself with a vibrator, and that’s that.

We see Steven St. Croix listening in and figuring out what is going on, before we go to a new scene.

The next scene we see Felicia putting on a towel, and a man is at the door. It’s Billy Glide and he comes into the house. Meanwhile, Sindee Coxx gets up and looks for something to wear, and then shows up. Sindee Coxx here has large breasts, blonde hair, and a great bit of makeup. Meanwhile, Felecia is a short, thin, and tanned woman with tan lines, and brunette hair. Coxx gets on her knees in front of Glide, and then an orchestral music soundtrack begins, and we see the sex start. Billy Glide, Sindee Coxx, and Felicia start with oral. Felicia for the most part sticks to giving Sindee Coxx oral, while Billy Glide and Sindee Coxx engage in something else. Coxx starts to blow Billy Glide like there’s no tomorrow, a sequence that raises the bar on the movie within a moment, and I’m impressed with it overall. Felicia rims Coxx at one point, and that’s interesting to see, and the director has his hands full trying to capture the threesome here, as they all seem to be into what is going on. Felicia pulls out a dildo, and starts to work herself into a frenzy, while Glide goes in with Coxx and just goes forward with relative ease. Felicia is on one side of a cream couch while Glide and Coxx use the other side to have sex. Glide eventually cums on Coxx’s butt and that’s it.

Coxx and Glide discuss Steven St. Croix for a moment, and we see him in a wheel chair. There’s been an accident, and he’s now being “weird”.

After that scene we are sent to Mickey G. and Stephanie Swift sweaty, in bed, and a phone call comes through.

We are sent to where a trio of women start to talk to Steven St. Croix, and he wants the women to kill someone. Stephanie Swift says that she doesn’t kill. Then he says, do you know what “Fucking” is? And then we are sent to a threesome sex scene.

The scene shows off Alyssa Love, Billy Glide, and Jay Ashley having sex. St. Croix shows the women the sex scene, and it’s spliced into the scene with an interesting focused and distressed camera lens. It’s almost like watching MTV from back in the day, while St. Croix talks about why he wants someone dead. As for the sex, it’s horrible. It’s slow, it’s mediocre, and Alyssa Love seems to just be there. Even when there’s an anal moment, it’s just a slow moving, and workable scene. At one point one of the guys doesn’t even have an erection, and is getting blown, making it an awkward sex scene. Eventually we get a money shot, and that’s that. This is perhaps one of the worst sex scenes I’ve reviewed since opening up this blog, even though there’s all the components that you’d expect from a sex scene, including Alyssa Love getting two money shots in the mouth.

We move along to a hallway where Stephanie Swift is talking to Don Fernando. She’s pretty here, young, with glasses. She tells Don Fernando that she doesn’t have the rent money, and that she can do something else if he wishes. To that avail, Stephanie Swift takes her top off and looks stoically into the camera while she gives Don Fernando a hand job. Swift asks Fernando not to touch her, but he keeps touching her breasts. The sequence is just a hand job sequence until he cums, and that’s it. He cums and that’s the rent paid. He cums on her dress, and then they look to see who’s watching and it’s Mickey G.

Mickey G. runs down to the apartment, and confronts Stephanie Swift. Swift says that Mickey G. doesn’t want to know her, and that she’s a bad girl. Soft music starts, and we see Mickey G pull out his penis, and start to stroke it. Meanwhile, Stephanie Swift is in the bathroom by herself and she starts to masturbate for the camera. The director contrasts between the two, and they are solo, in separate rooms of an apartment. This continues and doesn’t lead to anything big, and that’s it.

The scenes switch and we are taken to a brown couch. Another brown couch in a random apartment. Its here that we see Tom Byron and Melissa Hill starting to kiss and fool around. An instrumental track starts, the lighting is a little dim, and the two seem to have a lot of chemistry together. Melissa Hill has a unique face, reddish hair, small breasts, a skinny frame, long legs, long arms, and tan lines. She looks like someone I knew in high school, and she really gets into the beginning of this sequence with lots of kissing, and then oral from Tom Byron. The two progress to take off their clothes and then start to have sex. They go through multiple positions, and no condom, with Hill moaning a great deal and even screaming at one point. She seems to really enjoy this, and the two work up a real sweat in the sex that is had here. I found it to be a better sequence than any other one in this movie, and since I’m a fan of Melissa Hill, it was a real joy to see her bouncing on Tom Byron. This scene saves the rest of the movie if you ask me. After a lot of positions, some sweat, and changes there’s a cum shot to Melissa Hill’s face, and the end of a good sex scene for a change. I do put down a few points because someone was messing with the boom mic and it was in the edit, so that was dumb, but other than that, this was a great little romp of sex.

After the sex there are a few non sex scenes and we see the women from before in masks put a bomb onto Tom Byron! That’s right, they strap a bomb on him in an attempt to kill him. We don’t see the bomb go off or anything, so that’s something. But we do see the women in jail, so obviously they got caught. We are returned to the court room, and that’s when Stephanie Swift is on the stand. A tape is played, and we are taken to the bedroom of Mickey G. and Stephanie Swift. This set is nice, darkly lit, with candles, and silk sheets. The two are romantic with one another, naked in bed and just kissing lightly.

Stephanie Swift and Mickey G. go forward with a simple start, kissing, and then masturbating facing one another, and then out of the blue, Stephanie Swift sticks her foot into Mickey G’s butt. I kid you not, this is a first for me in these narrative style porn movies. Her food, almost to the ankle goes into Mickey G’s butt hole, and she moves it around while he masturbates. This lasts a few minutes before Swift jumps on and starts to blow him in a casual, and steady blow job, changing the fetishes to normal, I guess. The two then start to have sex, but the camera doesn’t show you a lot of the insertion, and then we get a money shot. It’s a scene that is quite interesting, as it is a bit tame, and then we see that Stephanie Swift was dreaming all along!

We see Mickey G. hearing the radio in a new room where Melissa Hill is and he finds out that someone is going to testify against him, and he gets upset. Melissa Hill tries to comfort him, and we are taken to another scene after this.

The next sequence shows Felicia and Sindee Coxx having jailroom sex together. The set here is a jail house looking cell, and the two are naked, and just start to have sex with a lot of oral, and a lot of moaning. Felicia screams at one point, her tan lines are so pronounced here, and Coxx does well to get her to cum several times. If you’re a fan of legitimate sexual experiences between porno stars, then here you go, one of the better sequences. It doesn’t last that long, mind you, but it works well enough to further the story and to titillate.

After the jail house sequence we are taken back to a bedroom where Melissa Hill and Mickey G are in the throws of passion. This is a fast scene, the two work very quickly to get into the sex, with Melissa Hill blowing Mickey G to start, and then letting him penetrate her, and go through multiple positions. She doesn’t even take off all of her clothes, just enough to see her breasts, stockings, and penetration. The two have sex against a marble wall, and the lighting is a bit dim, while you look into their pushing and moaning. At the 2 hour and 10 minute mark there’s a slow motion cum shot and that ends the movie for the most part.

After Mickey G cums, they look over and see Steven St. Croix in a wheel chair and Stephanie Swift standing in the hallway. The two look on in, and then go outside. Stephanie Swift walks around to where Steven St. Croix is, and puts her hands on his shoulder. The two share an intimate moment of reflection. Swift then sits on St. Croix and the two just hug. The wheelchair is pushed into the waters of a pool, and that’s it. Piano music plays and the two just sink, and the camera watches them go below the waters, and they kiss. They kiss hard, and they float a bit up, as the music moves forward. It’s a miracle Steven St. Croix legs start working again! The two kiss and the music continues, and that’s the end.

I give “Big Game” a 3 out of 5.

There’s really only a few scenes in this whole movie that really got me excited. Melissa Hill is a goddess in this one, and the rest, well it works for the most part, but if you’re not a fan of the women or the men involved you may not like it. I didn’t think it was that great, even though it had a long plot that had a lot of non-sex scenes in it. I’m sure that there will be fans that like it, but I can’t give it more than 3 out of 5.

You can purchase “Big Game” and see what you think about it, as it features a great deal of stars, some sex, and plot that you don’t always get with these types of movies. You can click HERE to stream it, download it, or buy it on DVD for a discount.

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

I Love You Molly Flynn (1988) Review

I Love You Molly Flynn (1988) Poster
Today we are going to be heading back to the 1980s. We talked modern yesterday, but today, we are going to hit our time machine and visit the 1980s. This is 1988 that we are visiting, and we are going to be looking into a movie that was distributed by VTO and was directed by Fred J. Lincoln. This was a movie that was sent to movie theaters, etc. Moving along the way, we are going to be visiting the 1980s and seeing some of the stars that you can probably guess. This movie is called, “I Love You Molly Flynn”, and it features some standards from the 1980s. The stars of this movie include Angel Kelly, Billy Dee, Erica Boyer, Joey Silvera, Randy West, Sharon Kane, Tom Byron, and Trinity Loren.

This movie starts with an original theme song from the 1980s, and features a lot of colorful elements. The theme song starts and then we see the cast come through with cheesy 1980s graphics. This is definitely one of the movies that went to the movie theaters, and it shows. The production values are high here, with interesting graphics, fonts, and overall design to the start. It’s almost like the entry of a sitcom, only with spliced in hardcore sex, but it features something endearing about it as well. Once the credits roll we go into the movie’s plot.

The opening shows Randy West talking to a blonde haired woman and he talks about well he’s dressed and how cleans up. They talk about how he’s going to meet with the president. Then a servant comes in, and interrupts them. The servant says that there’s someone to see Molly Flynn, and it’s none other than Joey Silvera. Flynn doesn’t want to see him, and is upset that he’s come back again. The two talk, and Flynn pushes Silvera away, stating that they are not like they were, and she’s not interested in his advances. That brings Randy West down to see what is going on. Silvera is introduced to Flynn’s new love, and we get moving forward with an awkward introduction, and your standard starting line for a romantic comedy. Despite Flynn not wanting Silvera to hang out, her new man invites silvera to make himself at home, and the couple leaves him downstairs while they rush upstairs.

We are sent to another scene, and it’s Flynn discussing the situation with Angel Kelly. She says that there’s an unexpected guest and that her ex is now in the house, and things are going to get complicated. She’s venting to the help, Angel Kelly is a maid for Flynn here.

We are moved to another scene, and here we see Joey Silvera and Tom Byron talking to Angel Kelly, talking about having some fun, but then Silvera is pushed aside and Tom Byron gets into things.

Tom Byron and Angel Kelly start to make out on a red couch, and the camera swipes to a blow job. Angel Kelly is an African American woman with a thin frame, short hair, and medium sized breasts. She is a beautiful woman, and Tom Byron still looks like his boyish self. There’s romantic music playing to start, and Angel is works her magic with a fast blow job and hand job combination that nearly forces Bryon to cum within a few minutes. The music continues, and the scene moves to oral for Kelly. The two move into a few positions, the most prominent being reverse cowgirl. The camera focuses on an artsy movement, and you don’t immediately see the penetration. It moves with the music, and eventually we see the two having full blown sex, as sweat starts to bead up on each participant. The music here is really good, the lighting is great, and while Tom Byron looks to be in “work mode” Kelly really gets into the process, squeezing her breasts, and moaning a great deal. After several position switches, and a good amount of time, the finale comes with Angel Kelly giving Byron a hand job, and him cumming in her hands, which is a sight to see as she really knows what she’s doing. The two kiss lightly and the scene ends.

There’s a swipe and we see Joey Silvera roaming around the house in a blue tank top. Joey Silvera knocks on the door of Molly Flynn’s bedroom, or what seems to be a bedroom. Silvera comes in and tries to kiss her, but Flynn says that she’s with someone but Silvera tells her that he misses her and the two start to kiss a little more, even though Flynn, played by Trinity Loren, does not want to get moving forward, saying that she’s with Andrew, and that he’s amazing and doesn’t want to cheat. The scene ends with Randy West refusing Trinity Loren’s advances.

We then move forward to see Joey Silvear cooking in a kitchen with Molly Flynn, aka Trinity Loren, and they just talk. They are talking about cooking, and whether they want Silvera to cook full time etc. Silvera discusses the issue of cooking, and catering, and whether they want him to stick around long term, and more. It’s an interesting conversation that happens without any sort of sexual advancements.

The movie changes scenes and now we end up looking at a random den and it’s Trinity Loren and Joey Silvera talking about old times. Silvera puts his hand on Loren’s breasts and tells her that she should relax, and then the two start to make out a little. Silvera proceeds, and Loren caves in.

Trinity Loren and Joey Silvera start to undress, kiss, and engage in sex. Trinity Loren is a young looking, blonde haired beauty, with large natural breasts. She wears stockings and a pair of silver high heels, as she begins to blow Silvera. There’s romantic music here, and the two start to have sex on a brown couch. Why is every couch in the world brown? Answer me that?! I’m just saying it’s really generic. The scene starts with some of the most romantic piano music I’ve ever heard in a porno, and the sex starts slow, with a focus on the blow job that is so simple, and yet somewhat passionate. There’s no condoms, Loren isn’t shaved, she has a full pubic mound of hair, and Silvera isn’t shaved either. The two start to have sex, and for once, the scene looks like the two have a great deal of chemistry together as they start to get into the action. At one point Silvera squeezes Loren’s breasts and she sucks on the nipples herself, while Silvera goes in and out of her slowly and then sped up. This is perhaps one of the best 1980s sex scenes that I’ve seen in a long time, as it is passionate, and definitely more than just pure sex. The two trade positions a couple of times, and it gets a little harder and faster, with Loren moaning quite a bit here. After a while the two end up on a coffee table where Silvera goes between Loren’s breasts and then cums for the finish.

After the sex, we are taken to the kitchen where Randy West encounters Erica Boyer. Erica Boyer is a curvy dirty blonde, and she has classic 1980s highlights in her hair. She’s quite lovely here, compared to another scene that I saw her in where she and a dude were playing with a penis pump and he got massive before going in with her. There’s 1980s techno music that starts, and then we flash back to another scene.

The director flashes back to the brown couch where Joey Silvera and Trinity Loren are having sex, and the two are looking into each others eyes as Silvera goes all in with her. It’s a 1980s thing for the director to cut from sex to conversation to sex, and it’s mainly to give people in the movie theater a break between strokes, so that they can’t keep it up throughout, I assume. The finish here shows Silvera cumming on Loren’s pubic mound for the finish, and the two look into each others eyes and kiss, and it’s a nice little element overall.

We are taken back to the kitchen, and it’s Erica Boyer and Randy West. She has made him something to drink, it looks like a shake, and she talks about the ingredients, as the two talk. Erica Boyer gets on top of the counter and starts to give Randy West a little bit of a look while she rubs her breasts. Randy West tries to make conversation, but Boyer keeps trying to get him to touch her and kiss her, which he keeps trying to avoid. He can’t resist too long.

Randy West and Erica Boyer take off their clothes, and get on the counter for a starting point of oral sex. Boyer receives as Randy West and his stupid looking mustache go down on her, and then things switch up and she gives him a casual blow job. It’s slow, there’s romantic music that comes in, and West keeps talking about how amazing it is to have her mouth on his penis. The blow job continues through the scene, but the director decides it’s time for one of those infamous cuts. I kid you not, right when things are starting to get good, the director decides to cut to Trinity Loren talking to Silvera.

Silvera and Loren discuss how they made a mistake. They see things differently, but the sex is over, and Loren regrets getting moving forward with the sex. Silvera is proud of what happened, and Loren eventually walks away while Silvera is sitting with a grin.

The director cuts back to the kitchen, and that’s where Randy West is going all in with Erica Boyer. There’s once again good lighting, a nice counter top, and romantic music throughout. I’ve seen Boyer in a lot of other scenes, so this one is a bit tame, she seems to enjoy it for the most part, and West works up a sweat. Boyer is screaming at the 46 minute mark, and West is in full work mode, as the two share a connection after some time that is quite fascinating. They trade several different positions before Boyer eventually gives West a hand job and has him cum in her face and mouth. As she finishes West off Loren walks in on them, and he knows he’s in trouble.

At this point I got distracted. The main reason why is because this movie was dubbed in French for the copy that I got. “Do you speak French?” No! Then I realized that the movie wasn’t in French! It’s in German! Holy crap, how is it that I understand German? I don’t know, I can’t explain it, but I know what they are saying and perhaps I’ve watched too much porno.

We are taken to a room where Silvera, Billy Dee, and Randy West are smoking cigars and talking about what they do, and how business is going. Billy Dee talks about the changes that are going on in his industry, something about exporting things. Then Billy Dee starts to talk about a conquest he had while on a work trip, and in comes Erica Boyer.

Before they get too far, the director cuts to Loren and another blonde haired woman just talking.

The director goes back to the brown couch and we see Erica Boyer blowing Joey Silvera, while Billy Dee is in doggy style going in all the way with her. Again the romantic music kicks on, and the trio have sex on the brown couch in a somewhat passionate way. Silvera and Boyer do a lot of kissing here. And it’s fascinating to see overall.

The stupid director cuts again, and we are taken to a dining room where Randy West meets Sharon Kane. Sharon Kane is a blonde haired woman with short hair, red pumps, and she commands Randy West to give her oral. Randy West says that he can’t, because he is with someone and can’t just go in. Kane tells her to shut up and start going down. Then she insults him. So he gets on one knee and starts to give oral to Sharon Kane, but the director changes the scene.

The scene changes and we are back with Erica Boyer, Billy Dee, and Joey Silvera on the stupid brown couch. This time the positions have switched and Boyer is getting plowed by Silvera.

The director cuts yet again and we see Randy West giving oral to Sharon Kane. Kane reacts with a lot of moaning and vibrations, but the editing once again stops things.

We get taken back to the Erica Boyer, Billy Dee, and Joey Silvera trio of sex, for about 2 minutes and they are all in with their sexual positions, but that’s not good enough. The director cuts again.

Another cut and we are taken to Boyer in reverse cowgirl with Billy Dee and she’s orgasming wildly, and it shows. It’s a good piece of footage, and one that is much longer than the director lets you see. Meanwhile, Joey Silvera tries to get hard and masturbates, and it’s a bad little element that I noticed. The director cuts again.

Sharon Kane blows Randy West on a dining room table, the same romantic song is still playing overall. Kane is wearing red lingerie, and reminds me of an escort I once met with a Romney sticker on her SUV. West isn’t huge here, and while he’s hard, you can tell that he’s just the average sized dude, but can seem to last forever.

The director cuts, as per usual. Boyer is blowing Billy Dee and Silvera at the same time as the two get ready for the money shots. The two start to masturbate wildly in a race of who cums first, and it’s not a terrible little sequence, but I don’t know how they can synchronize this sort of thing. Eventually both cum at the same time and that’s it, and Boyer is watching and laughing and seems to enjoy the whole thing.

The director cuts again, and this time we still have that romance in the air with the music. Randy West is now having sex with Sharon Kane on the table, and the two are making out while he pushes his pelvis into her deeply. They exchange a few positions and while there’s a bit of moaning, it starts to look a lot like mechanical sex, as the director asks the couple to slow down a little, and they oblige. It’s romantic with the song, and Kane asks West to finish, and hurry up. The chemistry seems lost at the one hour and 8 minute mark, and while this is still sex, it’s just not that good. After some reverse cowgirl on a chair, West cums onto Sharon Kane’s pubic mound, and Trinity Loren walks in and sees the goings on and calls Andrew a bastard. Randy West plays Andrew, and then Joey Silvera and Billy Dee walk in as well and laugh.

The screen fades to black, and we are taken to a staircase where Randy West and Joey Silvera are talking. The two are getting a real heart to heart about the nature of love and romance. They found out a bunch about each other, and the sex that goes on. Randy West feels bad, but Joey Silvera gives him some advice about how to get Loren back.

In another scene the plan goes forward. Joey Silvera and Randy West play fight in front of Trinity Loren. The winner gets to have her. Loren watches the two and Silvera pretends to knock out West, and he goes down. Then we see that Loren loves West more than Silvera, and stays with him.

Trinity Loren and Randy West start to kiss. Loren is taken aback because he got knocked out, but he says that he’s fine, and there comes the romantic music. The music starts and we are taken to a well lit bedroom where Trinity Loren starts one hell of a blow job on Randy West. The blow job here is epic, and Trinity Loren has such a good body, and her hair is so nice with minimal makeup here. The two really get into this sequence, and it’s one of the best sex scenes in the movie. After a swipe of the camera, the two get into the sex, and it’s good, with Randy West going as hard as he can with Loren, and Loren moaning throughout. It’s a fascinating push forward, with the two actually seeming into what they are doing, throughout the short sex romp. Eventually Randy West gets between Loren’s breasts and then cums. The director shows their faces, then shows the sequence, and it eventually the cum shot appears and that’s that.

Moving right along we see that Randy West and Trinity Loren have decided to get married, and Silvera congratulates them as they leave. That’s the end of the movie, right? Nope!

Right when you think the movie is over, in comes Angel Kelly. She talks to Silvera, and they start to kiss and then get into the sex. The sex is quick, on the brown couch in the den, and the two just go through the motions. There’s no major oral here, there’s no major foreplay, it’s just straight forward sex. Silvera looks to be in work mode and for this round Angel Kelly seems to be less than enthused to start, but the two eventually pick up the steam with the backdrop of romantic music playing again. After some position changes, the two end up in close proximity with Kelly giving Silvera a hand job until he cums, and that’s the end. He cums hard, and Kelly watches it all go down, and that’s that.

I give “I Love You Molly Flynn” a 2 out of 5.

There's not much more I can say about this one. This movie is plagued with problems. The women are pretty, the sex is just boring, with the exception of a couple of scenes. The romantic music really is awful.

Monday, April 9, 2018

Wife Switch 5 (2012) Review

Wife Switch Volume 5 (2012) Cover 
We are going modern for the latest review that we are going to talk about. Let’s get into our time machine and get to 2012. In 2012 the fifth release from the series “Wife Switch” was released. “Wife Switch Volume 5” came out in 2012 and it was distributed by Pink Visual and there was no director credited here. The movie stars Faith Leon, Roxy DeVille, Barrett Blade, Marcos Leon, Nina Hartley, Stephanie Swift, Sascha, Tommy Gunn, Baily Brooks, Ginger Blaze, Mike Butders, Derrick Pierce, Leigh Livingston, Mia Lelani, Ben English, Chris Johnson, Bella Lynn, Brandy Edwards, and Talon.

There’s not a whole lot to this movie, it’s a gonzo picture, although the first part is a minor interview that features a couple of guys that have cheated on their spouses, so they want to switch things up and reveal to them the truth.

The opening scene starts with Faith Leon, Roxy Deville, Barrett Blade, and Marcos Leon switching partners. The two women in this scene are thin, brunette, and have girl next door qualities to them. They both don’t have large breasts, and really do look like girls you’d see in college, a freshman and a senior for that matter. The four start to unrobe in what seems like an ordinary couch in someone’s home. There’s no condoms here, just nudity and shaved private areas. It’s a gonzo picture, so it gets into the sex fast. The camera work gets a little sloppy, there’s no music, but the lighting is great. If you’re a fan of gonzo pictures, then you’ll like the way this starts into the sex. Both women moan and scream with delight, including one section at the 18 minute mark where one guy plays with a woman’s clitoris while in reverse cowgirl, a move that she says is too much but he continues. I know from experience that women outside of porn don’t usually like that. The couples get into a money shot and that’s it. WE then get a simple interview about revealing cheating, etc. It’s terrible acting, mind you.

Moving along we are taken to a new couple, and this time it’s Stephanie Swift and Sascha, a European guy. Stephanie Swift is a milf at this point which is interesting, and looks great. Nina Hartley and Tommy Gun are the other couple and we get a brief interview to start. This too gets really into the sex within a few minutes. It starts with Nina Hartley and Stephanie Swift kissing, then Tommy Gun and Sascha getting blow jobs from the women, before they start to get into the sex. There was supposed to be a rule where the guys were supposed to wear condoms, at least according to the interview, but only one guy is wearing a condom. The two women moan a great deal, and the camera follows the action well enough. The sex lasts a while before we see a money shot with not much cum, and one guy doesn’t last nearly as long as the other. After the sex, we find out that Sascha wasn’t wearing a condom, and Stephanie Swift gets mad, while Hartley just looks on.

The next scene features a brunette and a redhead woman and both look older here. They are milfs for sure, with larger breasts then the previous women, and we start afresh. This time it’s Baily Brooks, Ginger Blaze, Derrick Pierce, and Mikey Butders starting to make out and getting unrobed. The two get right into the action, in a well lit hotel room on couches, and just start working through a few positions. No condoms here, and the women just change partners, and it’s what you’d expect. No music, just gonzo sex until there’s a cum shot with a few shots of cum here and there. It’s a gonzo porn, with little to no direction, just two couples having sex, and that’s it.

For the next scene we are taken to a mansion and we get setup in a hot tub. Here we find Leigh Livingston, Mia Lelani, Ben English, and Chris Johnson starting to make out then going into oral. The women are both different. Lelani is a tanned Asian looking woman, with brunette hair and very large breasts. Leigh Livingston has reddish brown, short hair and large natural breasts. The four people move from the hot tub to a bedroom and they start to get into the sex part of this scene. Again, no condoms, everyone is shaved, and they get into the traditional positions that you’d expect from couples. There’s no real passion here, just straight sex, without a lot of attitude, and really nothing too crazy to write about. I found Lelani to be quite sexy, and vocal, but Livingston didn’t seem to be that into things. Lelani seems to really enjoy the sex, and the guys did their job well enough, but without no music, and a random set, this seemed like a benign sexual romp. Towards the one hour and 41 minute mark, the doggy style sex with Livingston gets really good but the director focuses on Lelani instead, even though it seems like Livingston is having the better of the two experiences at this point. Ben English gets mad because Chris Johnson cums in Livingston and things get heated. I guess that’s the big deal in this movie, etc.

We get to the last scene of this movie and it stars Bella Lynn, Brandi Edwards, some random guy and a dude named Talon. The foursome start to have sex in the same bedroom as the other couples, and it starts with a blow job. Bella Lynn is a pale, skinny woman with enhanced breasts and black hair. Brandi Edwards has dirty blonde hair, is a bit older, and smaller breasts. They are both thin, and the guys are normal but aren’t very big, just shaved. The women get into the blow jobs a bit, but again, there’s no music, the set sucks, and the passion seems to be missing for the starting line of this movie. The couples have ok sex, and it seems to be fine, until the 2 hour and 8 minute mark when things get really exciting and they all start to work far faster, and harder, with the women screaming and wanting more action. At that point we see the talent really getting into the sex, and it’s interesting to see. The closing sequence tries to save the whole movie with speed, and it doesn’t work if you’ve been sitting through this whole thing. There’s a couple of money shots, and that’s it.

I give “Wife Switch 5” a 3 out of 5.

Yes, this is a gonzo movie, and it will get you there if you really like wife swapping stories. However, I didn’t really think it was a lot of fun. The women and men exchange well, but even a girl like Stephanie Swift seemed bored with the sex, and it was just not that great. It is ok, just not great. If you’re looking for a wife swapping movie, and you don’t want a lot of story, this works, but I didn’t get too excited by it, but that’s just me. It deserves a 3 and that’s about it.

You can purchase “Wife Switch 5” on DVD and get some extras, as well as stream it as well if you’d like. Just click here and check it out for your own personal review.

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