Sexbusters (1984) Review

Sexbusters (1984) Get It on DVD or Stream Here

Today we are going to back to 1984 and I’m going to review the parody porno called “Sexbusters”. This is a parody of the movie “The Ghost Busters” complete with a cool parody song up front. I loved the song, and it’s definitely worth checking out overall just for the opening song. The premise of the story is simple, whenever you want to have sex and you can’t get any, you call in the Sexbusters and you can get it on. It’s that simple. The opening starts with the parody song and a lot of sex, but it’s sped up and just funny to watch. I can definitely see how this movie was on the big screen, because it definitely has that film grain overall. Plus, there’s a lot of hair, so if you like that unshaven look, you’re going to like this opener, and movie overall. I wasn’t sure what to expect out of this movie, but I loved the poster, and had to check this one out. Obviously, it’s not as bad as the “Back To The Future” porno that I reviewed earlier this year, but hey, they all can’t be that bad, right? The movie stars Blake Palmer, Candi, Karen summer, Heather Wayne, Marc Wallace, Peter North, Sheri ST. Clair, and Steve Drake.

The opening of the movie shows off Candi, Karen Summer and Blake Palmer having sex in an old Toyota that has been turned into a “shagging wagon”, and it’s all sped up. It’s hilarious to hear the music here, which is that parody “Ghostbusters” theme, which borrows heavily from the original.

We get moving forward to the crux of the movie. A woman wants to have sex with her husband, but he’s not really into it. So she calls the Sexbusters and they come and have sex with her. The scene is just overall lesbian elements, with plugs, dildos, and more. It’s a short scene, and after the Sexbusters are done, they leave. Midway through this movie, however, Marc Wallice pulls down his pants and his balls are painted blue! I kid you not! After the Sexbusters leave, Wallice runs in and tells Sheri St. Clair to have sex with him, and that immediately moves to the next scene. This is a fast-paced production, so why not? Wallice doesn’t have a big penis, mind you, so that old trope is lost on me. If you have an average size, you could probably have worked in porno in the 1980s, and Marc Wallice is proof. Sorry dude, but that thing aint big, but hey, it works, it’s hairy, and St. Clair loves it, as she over sells every aspect of this scene. The music here is funny, I was laughing with the terrible music. St. Clair over sells everything, I kid you not, she’s moaning like she’s dying, and Wallice sweats all over her, and really puts in some work. St. Clair makes the scene, especially if you like moaning, as she really goes all out for this one.

Moving forward, you’re going to find that a man speaks to his priest. He talks about how he isn’t getting any, and the priest recommends that he call in the Sexbusters. Yes, the priest gives him advice to call!

The next scene features Steve Drake, Candi, and Karen Summer. Drake here is really into this one, and the girls actually have chemistry with one another. The music hilarious, and I was dying with the music choice of the parody song of the Ghostbusters theme. There is a point in the scene where Drake looks to just be in work mode, rather than enjoying it, but it may be because he didn’t want to cum too fast. Other than that, this is a typical threeway, with a lot of deep throating, a lot of work from Drake, and some terrible, funny music. Drake eventually finishes on one of the girl’s face. He then screams out that he’s a man!

If you're reading all of this and just want to get to the visuals, you can do so by clicking here and stream it or buy the DVD for like $5 or so, I think. The review continues below.

The Sexbusters then pick up their phone and it’s Peter North! That’s right, it’s Peter North and he says that his patient is going to commit suicide! The scene features Karen Summer blowing Peter North to entice the woman that wants to jump off a diving board into an empty pool. They then recommend that the woman take place of Karen Summer, and the scene moves forward. Heather Wayne takes over for Karen Summer and the two have sex. This is a young Peter North, mind you. This isn’t a bad film, but the lighting shifts and you can barely see what is going on. The music also shifts and it’s got a lot of keyboards and synth, with a terrible sound. Meanwhile, North and Wayne are sweating up a storm and it is one of those scenes where you forget that they are performing because they have good chemistry together. It’s always nice to see chemistry amongst performers, even if the scene isn’t too “sensual” in a way. No famous Peter North facial here, he just cums on Wayne’s pubic hair, and that’s it.

The movie ends with an orgy scene and all of the actors together. The whole cast has sex, and the camera moves from area to area in a large home where everyone is just going to town. This starts around the 43 minute more and finishes the whole scene. You get a lot of different action, with a lot of lesbian sequences, some overall straight sex, and clumsy music with a disco beat of sorts. St. Clair is moaning like crazy, and the other women seem to be enjoying themselves as well, but not nearly as entertaining as St. Clair here. There’s a lot of facials to go around, and eventually the movie completes itself with a Peter North special, if you know what I mean. That’s it. The film slows down for that last one, and it’s quite the sight to see, as the women seem to really enjoy the finale.

I give “Sexbusters” a 3 out of 5.

This is an entertaining romp, with a good amount of sex, but the theme song does it for me, and St. Clair’s over acting is fun to watch. The rest is ok, but it’s really that song that makes this a worthwhile flick for me.

You can purchase “Sexbusters” on DVD here, or even stream it scene for scene! Get it here.

Did you see “Sexbusters”? Did you like it? Leave me a comment below.

Beautiful Evil (1998) Review

Beautiful Evil (1998) Poster - source adultdvdempire dot com

Today we venture to 1998 where we get a starring role for Stephanie Swift. Stephanie Swift is one of my first crushes in porn, and used to even subscribe to her website for a spell. I’ve seen her in soft options with The Spice Network, but now? Here’s the hardcore option. I finally got my hands on “Beautiful Evil” from 1998. This is a movie that features some comedy, and of course some good overall sex, or does it? This movie stars, Toni James, Nick East, Stephanie Swift, Mickey G, Dee, Rob, Missy, and Billy Glide. The story is one of infidelity, and it starts with Stephanie Swift getting stuck in the valley, then spending the night at some friend’s house. Then we get into the sex.

The opening sex scene features Toni James and Nick East. Nick East has long hair, and that rocker Tom Byron look, while Toni James is a blonde-haired woman that has some good looking facial features. The jazzy rock music starts and the two get down on a black couch. This isn’t half bad of a scene, but the fidelity on the music is a bit much compared to the sounds of the actual sex, so it kind of throws you off. The levels are odd, but that’s ok. The setting is fine, the two seem to work fine together, but it’s definitely a “work mode” type of start with the classic blow job working towards sex, for about 11 minutes or so. It’s not a long scene, but it gets going fast, and stays put with that infidelity story line as the husband of the blonde watches the two go at it. Not a bad scene with the two having sex on a couch, and eventually Nick East cums and that’s it. Nothing to see here folks, just an ok sex scene with lousy music. The lounge music jazz with guitar riffs all over the map really distracted, but the sex was fine I guess, nothing too crazy.

The movie transitions to Mickey G. going back upstairs to where Stephanie Swift is and then having sex with her. This is a more passionate scene with the two having a little more chemistry than the opern. Mickey G is not a huge guy, mind you, and Stephanie Swift maintains that “girl next door” type of vibe. The two go through your traditional positions, and the music here is a bit less jazzy, more orchestral. It’s a faster scene than the previous, and Mickey G. cums on Stephanie Swift’s chest, and that’s it. She then sucks him off after and it’s not bad. The scene is ok, and Swift does fine, with Mickey, in this somewhat more romantic scene.

Next up, a delivery man shows up and for his trouble Stephanie Swift blows him at the front door of the house. This is a hilarious scene, and something that finally gets to that trope of the delivery guy getting sex. I’m still looking for the plumber sex movie, but for now, this works. Stephanie Swift blows Billy Glide while he holds a box, and he’s much bigger than Mickey G, if that matters. If you’re a fan of blow job scenes, then this is a good one for you. Stephanie Swift blows the delivery guy until he cums on her new apron and then she continues to suck it, and that’s the end. No sex here, just a blow job for the delivery guy.

Up next, an out of character sequence is spliced in with Dee and Rob. Two actors that I don’t know about thus far, but it’s not half bad. Dee is an ebony actress and Rob is a random white dude, and the two just go at it. This is a sort of gonzo scene, and the two may be amateurs for all I know. Rob has a lot of hair around his legs and pubic region, while D is more natural, and kept a little more. She’s attractive, mind you, and does well here with a standard blow job, then Rob goes to town with oral and rimming, before the two have sex on a desk. To me this seems like a “tryout” scene more than anything. The two have little chemistry, not a lot of kissing, and the music is a weird mix of techno and hip hop beats. This isn’t a terrible scene mind you, it just felt out of place. The two have sex in the office until Rob cums in Dee’s face and that’s it.

Next up, Missy finds Mickey G and talks about how he needs to have some fun, and immediately gets on her knees while they are in the kitchen and blows him. Missy is a blonde haired porn actress that you’d expect to be in late 1990s porno, and doesn’t stand out to me at first. However, she gives Mickey G one great blow job before the two start having sex. That’s perhaps how she got the gig? I don’t know. The clothes come off and the two go at it in the kitchen, in one position, in a very short scene that eventually has Mickey cumming on Missy’s back and that’s it. The music was turned down a lot on this one, and the two just kind of go through the motions, in a mechanical sex scene that really left a lot to be desired really. The music was way off here, so I don’t know what was going on with the editing and musical direction.

The longest scene in the movie features Stephanie Swift and Toni James with a strap on going to town on each other. This is a long winded scene and the two seem to work well together, but it seems a little boring. The reason being is that they don’t seem to have a lot of chemistry, no sweating, and they just seem to go through the motions, spouting out lines that make no sense either. I laughed at one point, it was that funny to me. This is a formulaic, boring lesbian scene, but it worked well enough.

After this the story moves forward to finish off the plot, and I was laughing yet again. This movie takes itself seriously at the end, and the music takes an alternative rock direction. The end scene is all o fthe people in the house enjoying a champagne toast, and that’s it. I kid you not, that’s where this movie went, and that’s it. Nothing big, nothing crazy, just an ending to the movie. At the end, a twist is revealed, in which we find that Stephanie Swift’s character was DEAD all along! Woa!

I give “Beautiful Evil” a 3 out of 5.

This wasn’t a terrible porno, but it wasn’t great either. Stephanie Swift had some nice scenes, and the rest of the cast did well enough. However, the movie was convoluted, had terrible music, and well mechanical sex for the most part. It’s not awful, but it’s not grand either. It’ll get you there though.

You can purchase “Beautiful Evil” from a variety of sources.

Did you see “Beautiful Evil”? Drop me a comment below if you have thoughts on this one.

Cheerleader Academy (1986) Review

Cheerleader Academy Poster (1986)

And away we go, another classic porno review for you 2 readers out there. This one stars Tom Byron, the kingpin of porn, as I’m going to call him. But it also has some familiar men and women throughout, including Peter North. The full credits has a funny focus with a cone in the middle of the grass, and music that is very much lackluster, but focused on the college band sound. There’s a little bit of keytar in there too, and you watch the full credits for the director and writer which is Marc Weiss on writing, and directed by none other than the hedgehog, Ron Jeremy. I kid you not. This is a Ron Jeremy directed movie. The movie is simple, cheerleaders are getting through their routine, and they are going to have sex, right? Yes! Of course, this is a porno! They are college cheerleaders, mind you. So you get a bunch of college students getting thrown into the mix of a dictator’s push. The movie stars Erica Boyer, Blondi, Tony Montana, Peter North, Candie Evans, Bunny Bleu, Scott Irish, Tom Byron, and Jennifer Noxt. I didn’t know what to expect from this movie, since I judged it by the cover, as I do with a lot of porno movies for this site. The movie looks to be one of those movies that was produced to be put on the big screen in a double feature, as it is filmed on video, but with less budget than some of the other movies that you may have seen from the era. This is definitely a low budget option, but hey, Ron Jeremy is directing so maybe it’s not so bad, right? Before the sex, you get some funny cheerleading elements, and it’s awful, but it’s also funny to watch. This is not a gonzo picture, that’s for sure. Today we look at “Cheerleader Academy” from 1986.

The movie moves forward to the first sex scene. It’s a lesbian scene that features Erica Boyer and Jennifer Noxt. These two seem to really get into their performance, rubbing, licking, and kissing all over. Jeremy’s direction is great here, and there’s a lot of elements that don’t make sense and others that do. Lots of good shots, great overall chemistry between the women, and a setting that looks to be an office. The only thing I can’t get behind is the fact that there’s terrible music involved. It’s like news reel music, then out of the blue the scene and music stops. This isn’t half bad, but it abruptly. It’s a short scene featuring an experienced woman and her younger student, but it’s not that grand. It has some moaning involved, but it’s somewhat boring, unless you’re really into lesbian scenes.

The next scene transitions to a disciplinary type hearing. Two cheerleaders aren’t doing great, so they need to work on their chemistry. That leads them to have sex, of course.

The scene features Tony Montana and Blondi. I’ve seen both of these performers in other movies so I know that they can throw down a good scene. Tony Montana here looks to be far more into Blondi than she is, and while they go at it, Tom Byron looks on. The music again throws me off, as it is smooth jazz elevator music. It’s terrible, but the sex is fine. Blondi keeps her shoes on, and the two go at it in multiple positions. It’s an adequate scene, although she stays quiet for a lot of the scene. It works as a sex scene, but it’s not that fun to watch, and it’s kind of “vanilla” when it comes to porn if you ask me. Tony does a lot of the work towards the end, and eventually finishes on Blondi’s face. Tony is wearing nothing but a yellow swatch watch, which is distracting here. My favorite part of this is Blondi sucking Montana off after he cums, which is always a great momentum boost.

The movie has a workout scenario for the next few minutes, showing off what the cheerleaders must do to train. This is non-sexual. A lot occurs here, and it’s not sexy at all, making me think that the movie was in fact something that played in movie theaters, otherwise, why waste time? The cheerleaders do not have underpants, and the director makes sure to show you that aspect, so maybe that’s something to consider here.

Back Cover of Cheerleader Academy (1986)

After the workout, Peter North and Candie Evans are sitting in front of a fire and the two have a romantic, love making session….or do they? Nope, it’s a lot of kissing and at one-point North puts honey on Candie and starts licking it up. The scene abruptly transitions to another room. That room has Scott Irish and Bunny Bleu doing stretching exercises. Bunny Bleu’s blow job technique is quite good, the blonde haired woman is quite lovely, and Scott Irish seems to really get into oral with her as the two go into the 69 position. The music is a jazzy improvisational number, so that’s interesting, and the two make a lot more noise than the other people in this movie thus far. Mind you, this is 45 minutes into the movie, and they seem to have the most chemistry between the performers. Reverse cowgirl here is pretty darn good, and the two really get into it at one point, but the scene switches back to Peter North and Candie Evans! Points off for that, as it is lazy editing if you ask me. This is where you get to see Candie Evans and Peter North get dirty on a towel, in front of a fireplace. North makes more noise than Evans, and while the two go through some positions, it appears that he’s in work mode and Evans is trying to enjoy it a little more. Midway through their movements, the scene cuts back to Bunny Bleu and Scott Irish and he cums on her pubic hair, then stick sit back in for another ride through. That immediately switches to Peter North and Candie Evans again. If you’re expecting a big Peter North money shot, then you know what’s going to happen, as the scene ends with a blow job and Peter North exploding all over Evans’ chest. The dirty blonde keeps jacking North and the two end this scene with a kiss.

The next scene is Jennifer Noxt and Tom Byron. Jennifer runs down Tom Byron and says he isn’t great and doesn’t want to team with him. Then she pulls down his pants and realizes that he’s hung, so she starts blowing him. The brunette goes to town with Tom Byron, and he’s looking a lot like a geek, unlike his other appearances in porn in the 90s, where he looks like a total rocker. Here he’s a nerd, and he’s lucky to be getting action from Noxt. Jennifer Noxt is a hot brunette here, all natural and reminds me of a lot of college women I went to school with. The two get to work in a very nice and romantic scene, with jazzy flute playing in the background. At one point Noxt rips her uniform which is left in the scene! Another blooper? Sure! Why not?! Jeremy’s direction is lazy here. Midway through this scene the editing goes to Bunny Bleu and Peter North having sex. The editing midway through the other scene goes to this scene! What the hell?! This is upsetting, but if you’re just looking for sex, then move forward with this I guess. Now, Bleu is blowing North and out of the blue the scene goes back to Byron! That’s right, Tom Byron goes back to having sex with Jennifer Noxt! Holy crap! The editing here is terrible, but the scene gets hotter. Noxt reminds me of an escort that works in Vegas for 100 Proof LV, so that kind of got me excited. Byron has some funny moments with Noxt, and she eventually starts to get into it, right about the time he goes all out and then finishes on her back. After this, the scene goes back to Bunny Bleu and Peter North! The two have better chemistry than in the scene, and while North is once again in work mode, Bleu seems to be enjoying it a lot more. The ending is of course a money shot, with Bleu blowing him to a finish and a nice ender. Bunny Bleu is quite good here, wow.

At this point in the movie there is no more story, you just get straight sex scenes, and lackluster elevator music. This is about one hour and 17 minutes into the movie, and it features Candie Evens and Scott Irish. This is not a terrible scene, and Candie is quite good with Irish. This goes through a blow job before the scene cuts to a threeway between Erica Boyer, Jennifer Noxt, and Tom Byron! The editing really caused me to be a bit upset, but hey, it’s a movie, so grab some popcorn right? I guess. Tom Byron is an allstar here as he stops being a nerd and just goes to town with Noxt and Boyer, just going for it here until he cums on their faces and they keep blowing him. This is a cool scene, and the electric guitar and techno music makes it far better. He finishes and it looks good, with the actors laughing and the screen fading to black before going to a sequence where he sits with Noxt and Boyer and the movie ends.

Not a terrible movie, but not a great one either. The VHS transfer I saw of this wasn’t half bad, but it lacked a lot of chemistry at points. Jennifer Noxt is the one woman that stood out to me, and I will be looking for more of her scenes. “Cheerleader Academy” wasn’t half bad. But it wasn’t that good either, it just kind of ended.

I give “Cheerleader Academy” a 2 out of 5.

This is not a great movie, but it had Tom Byron. Byron did well, North was ok, but some of the women weren’t great, and the editing with music wasn’t that good.

You can purchase “Cheerleader Academy” via various websites.

Did you see “Cheerleader Academy”? Leave me a comment below.

American Pie (1995) Review

"American Pie" 1995 Poster SRC adultdvdempire dot com

I had no idea that I would be reviewing the Paul Norman film, “American Pie” from 1995 today. It features Nikki Tyler’s first video, Jeanna Fine, Jenteal, Melissa Hill, Amber Woods, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron, Mark Davis, and Frank Towers. The movie starts with some guitar music, and an introduction to the cast, and it’s an interesting little movie title screen with Paul Norman getting the writing and direction credits here. In 1995, this would have played on Spice Network for sure. It screams mid-level production, and interesting San Fernando Valley interior elements. This has nothing to do with “American Pie” the movie featuring teenagers trying to get laid for prom. This is also not the same movie that Jenna Jameson was in, because that movie is called “Cherry Pie”, and I found an old VHS tape for that long ago. Instead, this is something that is altogether new for me. I know the stars of this film from other movies, but I didn’t realize this was Nikki Tyler’s first major role, so how does it play out? Is it worth watching? Let’s find out with this review of “American Pie” from 1995.

You start with that classic trope. A wife comes home looking for her husband, and can’t seem to find him. Where could he be? Jeanna Fine comes on screen and just starts looking for people, and see who was there. She asks for someone to get a car and then leaves. Meanwhile a maid and what I could only believe is the man of the house are hiding. Once Jeanna Fine leaves, Frank Towers and Amber Woods start making out.

Amber Woods is an interesting looking woman, blonde hair, tight body, but Frank Towers looks like a Televangelist, so it throws me off a little. Woods is a typical California looking porn model, and is quite lovely in the maid outfit. There’s no condom here, and Frank Towers makes some insane faces as the two have sex on a staircase near the basement of a house. Woods is not shaved, and she keeps her heels on. The two have somewhat basic sex before Woods gets off and starts to blow Towers for the finish. This wasn’t great, and the money shot was laughable. Woods rubs it on her face and lips, but doesn’t swallow at all. The two move the plot here, as they find out a will. Someone must’ve died or something, I’m not sure.

The next scene shows two women talking about what could have been given to the mistress.

Jenteal and Nikki Tyler go at it here, after talking about having sex with a 70 year old man, and how one misses the old dude. This is a good enough scene, especially if you like lesbian scenes. The two work well together, and there’s a lot of moaning here. If you’re a fan of lesbian sex, specifically watching women perform oral on each other, then this is for you. It seems genuine, and the two seem to really get off in this scene, which is always a good note. This scene sure beats the first scene, and the music is also quite good.

Moving forward, Jeanna Fine is seen in a bath robe and we get the crux of the movie. Fine is a wife that has lost her husband, and is concerned that she’s not going to get a lot of money. She’s saddened, as Mark Davis and Tom Byron standby listening to her complain. Tom Byron here has his long hair, and it’s interesting that his look is so different from the past.

Jeanna Fine asks for the butlers to start massaging her, and they eventually start taking off their clothes, because you know, this is a porno after all. Jeanna Fine was one of my first ever porn crushes, and seeing here really got me thinking about the past and present. If you’re a fan of Jeanna Fine, then you’re going to love this scene as the Byron and Davis give her a full ride of pleasure. Fine seems to enjoy herself here, as she does both guys, gets rimmed, and orally pleased throughout. There was no music for a good part of this scene, then out of the blue, there’s a country rock alternative tune in play as the two dudes really start to work on Fine. It’s a standard threeway for the most part, and then with a quick transition, it turns into a DP, and that’s really the interesting part about this one. Jeanna Fine doing a DP, and wow, she seems to love it. Byron comes first and then just lets it all out on her back. But there is a point where Fine looks to be in pain, but that ends, and Byron leaves the scene. I can’t confirm this, but there appears to be a stunt dick at the end, which is quite funny overall. Jeanna Fine swallows, but then kisses Mark Davis on the mouth, so maybe it wasn’t a stunt dick? I don’t know.

Jeanna Fine is in the office of Marc Wallice and wants to know how she can save her money. This is the best acting job for Fine, and Wallice is just there pretending to be a lawyer. This is a good overall conversation, and it’s not half bad. Fine does a good job here, and she eventually walks away, only to have Melissa Hill show up. Melissa Hill shows up in a red dress and pumps, and Wallice and Hill start to make out.

Melissa Hill and Marc Wallice have sex in his office and it appears that he is the only guy in this film that has a condom. Now, the condom is extra thin and really doesn’t show up, until you get a close up. It stays on perfectly with Melissa Hill, and she’s not shaven. He looks a lot like an adult romance novel cover model. Hill’s red hair and unique facial features make her a nice girl to watch, and I have reviewed some other of her movies. This wasn’t half bad, without a lot of music coming through for the most part, until towards the end. There’s some blues heavy guitar work, and the two just go at it standing for the most part. It’s always odd to me when the music sounds a lot better than the sex, and that’s what happened here. I was more interested in the soundtrack by the time the condom came off and Melissa Hill blew Wallice into cumming. Melissa Hill’s eyes are great, wow, what a vision, oh and she gets a facial, which is always nice to see in porno, I presume.

The movie moves to the County Courthouse where Jeanna Fine is going to talk to a lawyer, I can only assume. She gets in a fight with the mistress, who happens to be there too! The two wrestle a little and then start to have lesbian sex in a bathroom stall. That’s the finisher of this movie, and the two seem to really enjoy the process. Nikki Tyler gets a strap on, and Jeanna Fine gets plowed here, and the two go through some great moments, having fun together. Eventually the two finish, and I’m certain the director called cut. This is the end of this movie, there’s no real resolution, and I don’t know if anyone actually wanted to watch to the end. It’s a good scene for what it is, but it very much cuts the story short, if you were invested in it. I guess they become lovers? Fade to black, and The End, 1995, Wave video. No credits.

I give “American Pie” a 3 out of 5.

This is not a terrible movie, mind you. But it’s far from great. Jeanna Fine is great, Nikki Tyler is hot, and the rest, well it’s functional.

You can purchase “American Pie” from a wide variety of different locations. Including HERE where you can get an autographed copy of this movie!

Did you see “American Pie”? What did you think? Drop me a comment.

Big Game (1990) Review

Big Game (199) Poster

Today we head back to 1990 and we look at the adult video, “Big Game” from 1990. The cover girl is Raven, and the video is one of the many films that never made it to the big screen, and when you watch it, you’ll find out exactly why. It’s shot on a video camera, but yet it has some very good stars in it, including long time guys Randy West and T.T. Boy, and a lot of nice looking women. This movie has a good score to start things off, mind you, which surprised me, considering the fact that the rest of the movie is low budget of sorts. I wasn’t even sure what to expect with this one, as the movie showed some archival footage of Cheetahs, and you get into the plot right away.

The story is about a woman that has written novels about the big game in Africa. She has a British accent, and starts to discuss what she’s been looking into, and that leads to shots of a pool area, and of course, immediate sex, with a backdrop of a symphony. Two minutes in and you get your starting sex sequences. The first sex scene features TT Boy and Raven, and the two don’t mince words, they just start going for it. The sound here is of the water, and a light symphony. Raven wears a safari hat as TT Boy lays down on a towel and the two go at it. Raven’s long black hair is fascinating, and she is a good looking woman. The lighting is bad here, but they are outside, so I guess as long as there’s no reflections this isn’t half bad. Those that are looking for straight sex, well here you go, no condoms, and no obstructions, the director lets you watch the whole thing, and it’s not half bad. The two go on for about 15 or so minutes before TT Boy cums on Raven’s pubic region, and that’s the end of this opener.

There is a slight transition in which Raven discusses another wild life element. Then it goes into a sex scene, and you get a plot that is loose, and women that are ready to go. The symphony continues playing, and you’re thrown into what appears to be a gonzo movie, rather than a full feature.

This next scene features Sunny McKay and Don Fernando. The two kiss a lot which is kind of neat considering the last scene didn’t have a lot of kissing. The two here are hairy, neither one has shaved, so if you like all natural sex, this is going to appeal to you. The two have slow, casual sex, nothing too extreme, and they seem to have good chemistry together, as this turns into a boring love making routine, rather than a hardcore sexual romp. Maybe that’s good, though? If you’re in a relationship and want some nice, soft motions and lots of kissing, then here you go.

Another transition and you see our lead looking off into the distance, writing another novel, thinking about the African safari that she was on. Then it leads to another sexual conquest, this time featuring long time porn stay, Randy West.

Randy West and Patricia Kennedy are next here, and there’s a juxtaposition of a snake to illustrate what you’re going to see next. I’m not familiar with Patricia Kennedy, but I’ve seen Randy West in a lot of different scenes. This one starts with him licking Patricia, and the damn director chimes in! I kid you not, the director didn’t cut out his direction, and so you hear him directing the actors! What the hell! Another blooper?! That’s two reviews in a row where you have a blooper, and I’m not upset, but it’s funny to me that the editors didn’t catch that. Of course, the symphony continues, and the outdoor setting from the first scene is used here. Not a long scene here, and your average outdoor setting with lots of focus on Randy West. But if you look closely, in the background there are people walking by! There’s also some dubbing in the sounds, and it even looks like Randy loses his erection at one point. This is a lackluster scene to say the least. There’s even bad camera work, and a slow down in the frame rate, this is laughable. At around 58 minutes into the film, there’s a cut, like a blank screen, and that’s because it’s a VHS transfer! Oh my, what a terrible rip.

Up next you get Madison and Raven having sex, in a casual lesbian scene, and it’s not exciting at all. They seem to be going for a softcore look rather than a hardcore one. Sure, it involves what you’d expect, but no toys, a pool side setting, and just average sexual elements. It’s not terrible, but it’s more posing and light play than hardcore sex, so keep that in mind. Oh and the symphony music continues here as well.

The last scene features Holly Ryder finding TT Boy and then asking for a little fun. The two have sex on some grass, and it’s just simple, hardcore sex. The two exchange various positions, and it’s the best scene in the movie if you ask me. The two have some major chemistry, and Body really takes all of TT Boy here, and moans, shows off that she’s enjoying every moment, squeezes her nipples, moans, and screams, and then asks for cum all over her chest. That’s the scene, with a rousing symphony here. Not a terrible scene, but the symphony music really took me out of it a few times. TT Boy here is in his prime, and it’s a great overall sequence.

After this last sex scene, the credits role and you see that Milton Ingley directed, Sharon Mitchell produced it, and a bunch of people helped with the production. The symphony continues, and you get the end of the movie. That’s it. A quick romp through a terrible plot, and an interesting one scene that ends well enough, I guess?

I give “Big Game” a 1 out of 5.

This is one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a while, and while it had one good scene, it’s not worth chasing down unless you absolutely love the actors and actresses involved.

You can purchase “Big Game” by looking around the internet.

Did you see “Big Game”? Let me know in the comments below.

The 69Th Sense (2000) Review

The 69th Sense - SRC Adultdvdempire online

Today we are going back in time for a review of a parody studio film called “The 69th Sense”. This is a movie that is supposed to be making fun of The Sixth Sense. Within a few minutes, you know that this is not going to be serious, because we get right into the sex talk. The movie opens up with Taylor St. Clair and Mickey G. talking about how he just won an award. Then it leads to the staircase where you find out that Taylor doesn’t like anal sex, but will give Mickey a mind-blowing time once they go upstairs, because he has won a literary award. As a writer, I can assure you that this NEVER happens. I’ve won awards in the past, and didn’t get anything for them, so maybe I needed to be in porn? I don’t know.

The action starts right away, with the couple on the staircase. The most intriguing thing here is that Taylor St. Claire is wearing pearls, her hair is up, and she has a little black dress. Mickey G. is a lucky man here, as he immediately gets hard, as she takes her dress off and starts blowing him on the stairs. Her technique is fine, but what pulled me away from the scene was the gothic, Halloween style music. The music here was like listening to early Nine Inch Nails mixed with Perfect Circle, and even a little Goblin to throw into the mix. It’s an odd thing to notice, but it’s definitely there and I couldn’t stop listening for it. If there’s a soundtrack rip of this music, I’d like to know about it. Maybe I can write the producers of this film to figure that out. The sex scene is fine, by the way, the two start going forward with the traditional sequencing. St. Claire is actually enjoying it because the camera captures her getting wet, which is not always seen with porno, and it’s legit. She is actually getting wet in this one, which in turn makes this movie a lot better than most. I couldn’t believe that this wasn’t just another mechanical scene, so good for the performers here. There is a minor transition where Mickie G puts on a condom, but you don’t see it, and then goes right into doggy style on the staircase. This begins the sex, and it’s not half bad. The scene ends with Taylor St. Claire blowing Mickey G, and him cumming on her face and breasts. This scene is a great intro to this movie. It’s only about 12 minutes, but it’s not bad.

Right after cumming, Mickey G. clutches his chest and looks to be dying. We see that he very well may have died here, and the movie goes into the story mode.

The movie shows off Vicca, and I didn’t realize that she had such a thick Russian accent. Ian Daniels shows up at her house, and the two immediately start to go into sex mode. I always thought Vicca was hot, at least when I was younger. Today, watching this, I wasn’t so sure what I saw in her. She is a good looking redhead, don’t get me wrong, but I’m seeing this through new eyes, so it’s not the same. She’s ok, but the sex seemed a little mechanical at times, and just over acted. Unlike the first scene in this movie, this was a little less exciting. However, Vicca did seem to get wet here, and it seemed like she actually liked Ian Daniels and his skill set. Daniels puts on a condom and then goes straight into sex, no blow job here, just straight kitchen sex. The 90s techno rock starts again, and the two go at it. As the camera pans, you can see that Daniels is just trying to stay hard, as this is a “mechanical” sex scene, with fake moaning and more. It’s kind of funny, and not that sexy. It’ll get you there, but it’s a far cry from the opener.

The movie keeps going with our main character Mickey G. showing up at Viccas house. She said she’s seeing “horny” people in her house. So this is where the parody of the sixth sense really goes through. Vicca narrates and her accent is so strong it’s hard to follow along, but this leads to a new sex scene. It features Envy, Renee LaRue, and Nick East. I’ve seen East in other movies, but the two girls here are new to me. They are nice enough, but they don’t seem to be that into east. This is another functional scene, with alternative rock music, and what you’d expect. The women are enhanced, shaved just enough for that post 1990s swing, and this is a functional scene with lots of foreplay. Nick East doesn’t have a giant penis, or anything, and he puts on a condom and goes to work with both girls. He has sex with them on a rug in front of a fire place, and it’s not half bad. The women keep their heels on, and they do a lot of moaning, so this immediately gets me excited, and it’s quite the scene. There’s a few positions that I personal love, so I liked seeing that. As far as threeways go, this is not a bad scene at all, and both girls get a lot of attention here. The camera shots are sometimes distracting here, but the soundtrack is good, and Nick East gets a serious second wind about 40 minutes in and then cums on one of the women’s faces. Not a bad scene, but one that was overshadowed again by the music.

The movie then goes along with the plot again. Vicca is haunted, and she sees dead people having sex. She starts telling Mickey G, the ghost detective, and starts discussing further dreams that she’s having.

The next scene features a party. A party in which two ghosts are having sex in front of everyone. The music here again goes to 90s funk and techno, which is good. But the sex features Charlie and Jonathan Simms. Two performers that work ok together, but it’s not a great sequence. Another condom scene, and the two seem to be in mechanical sex mode. There’s not much to this, as people around them are told to ignore what’s going on. Good on the extras not to watch the sex, but this isn’t that great. If you’re a fan of anal, then there’s a bit of that here, but other than that, it’s an ordinary, mechanical, sex scene, and nothing else. I did like Charlie’s stretch marks, I thought that was nice to see.

Next up, the plot keeps thickening, with Vicca thinking that she’s losing her mind. As she confides in a friend, she starts to get horny and starts to kiss Tara. Vicca and Tara then go through a lesbian sex scene that is mostly cunnilingus. Not a bad thing, and the two seem to really enjoy the process with each other. Vicca here is hot, and while I’m not a huge fan of Tara, she knows what she’s doing, making this scene quite enjoyable overall. It’s a standard lesbian scene, no toys, and just a lot of tongue action, moaning, and sincere orgasms. If you’re into lesbian sex with two high heeled women, then this is going to do it for you, although it’s a short scene.

Taylor St. Claire and Evan Stone start talking, and it is revealed that Mickey G has died. Evan Stone though, helps St. Claire get over the death with some hard sex. Evan Stone is a good lay, he’s always good in these scenes, and this time around, he really pushes through. In this movie, Evan Stone isn’t as jacked as he is in other movies, but he is still built solid. St. Claire seems to enjoy this one a little more than the opener, and the two have sex in the kitchen. This is not Evan’s best scene, and St. Claire seems to enjoy anal a bit, but the overall scene gets mechanical around 1 hour and 25 minutes in, as there’s no sweat, and it’s just kind of dry overall. Evan Stone gets anal, which he didn’t get with Janine even though he wanted to so badly. This is not a bad scene, but it’s far from the best one in this movie. It’s workable, but it’s just missing some passion if you ask me. The soundtrack for this scene sucks too, but the kitchen décor is nice, so points for that. Eventually the scene fades and you get a weak money shot from Evan Stone, but St. Claire has such a nice body that you may not even care.

This leads to the grand finale. Vicca finds out that Mickey G. is a ghost and that he too is horny, and so she decides to give him one last wish, and that’s to have sex. The two then start getting to it in her bedroom, and this is an interesting scene. Vicca genuinely gets wet and is dripping on Mickey G. in this one, and he puts a finger in her butt, rims, and goes all out. She gives head, and during 69, she absolutely gets really wet, and that’s a plus for the scene. The two seem to be really turned on with this scene, and even though the alt rock music is distracting, the two really get to work, and you forget that you’re watching a porno at one point, as there’s a bit more passion here than with other scenes in the movie. The two have good sex, not great sex, and another condom is evident here, although Vicca does anal, so that’s a plus for those that love her. The scene goes well enough, and eventually you get a money shot from Mickey G. on Vicca’s back. As far as a sex scene is concerned, this works, and is slightly arousing, but the anal wasn’t as good as when Vicca is riding cowgirl, where she cums a few times. There’s not a lot of kissing here, so there’s a mechanical element to the sex that draws me away, but other than that, this is a good ending scene with some decent movement, and ok music. At around 1 hour and 35 minutes, watch for the condom to fall off and the two keep going. That was an interesting boost to the scene, but another condom is put on for the anal portion. The director did leave that take in, so if you watch closely, you’ll see the condom slip off and fall off of Mickey G’s chest and then the two go hard for a while, before going into anal. That was a highlight of this movie for me. The two cuddle and that’s the end of the movie. Not bad, not great.

I give “The 69th Sense” a 3 out of 5.

This movie from the year 2000 isn’t half bad. It’s on the tail end of the time I was buying VHS tapes, and it’s not half bad.

You can pick up “The 69th Sense” from several resources. Including on Amazon sometimes here.

Did you see “The 69th” Sense? If so, drop me a line.

Deep Throat (1972) Review

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The Sex Lawyer (2002) Review

The Sex Lawyer (2002) DVD Cover 

Going to something more modern, I’ve decided to import a movie that is dubbed in English. It’s called “The Sex Lawyer”, and it’s from 2002. It has a very unique plot for a porno, and the film grain and quality is above your standard porno. In fact, the plot has more of a “Cannon Films” quality, with the dubbing, and grindhouse elements. This feels like a B movie, more than anything else. If you’re a fan of grindhouse movies, then you may like this one, as “The Sex Lawyer” is very focused on plot, and of course, sex. The dubbing is bad, but hey, it’s a plot driven porno from Europe, so I didn’t mind it that much. This Italian porno movie feels more like a big budget movie than it does a porno, until you get through the opening plot, and into the real crux of this, which features 7 sexual romps and more plot turns than your average modern porno movie.

The plot starts with a man who is desperate and is going to court for trial. But amidst going home, he ends up getting a gun and thinking about a robbery. He couldn’t do it, and decides to throw his gun away. However, the cops show up and arrest him anyways, and end up taking him in for questioning and saying that he has committed a local robbery. That switches to a couple of lawyers talking, and leaving behind two attractive people that are going to do it. The dubbing is so bad at this point, but the actors aren’t half bad.

Five minutes into the movie you get your first sex scene and it features Elinor Gasset and Frank Gun. To attractive European actors that start this a bit mechanical, with neither one of them having a lot of chemistry. The music starts, and you really start to see what this movie is, and it’s a European porno with Casio keyboard quality music. I was lauhing at this point, even though the clothes were starting to come off. The two are completely shaved, so if you like that kind of thing, this will be a fun scene for you. Other than that, it’s a mechanical sex scene with attractive people, but no real emotion. There’s very little emotional bond between these two, and it shows. Yes, there’s moaning, but it’s definitely not a great sequence. It’s very tedious, and even the money shot looks a bit painful until Elinor starts a blow job after the fact. The cinematography is good here, and the scene is functional, but the music and the boring sex doesn’t help.

The movie goes forward through another plot point. The principle lawyers discuss the case with one of the accused, and then you see the lawyer driving around. That leads to a scene where the criminal goes to jail and is stuck in prison. This of course takes time to build, and once the lights are out in prison, our criminal starts to imagine his sex life with his girlfriend, and it becomes a sensual scene, with once again, bad quality jazzy music, and fake moaning and dubbing.

The sex scene features Sophie Angel and Alex Mantegna. This is a workable scene, with the two going through various positions, but the harpsichord music really threw me off. The two work ok together, but it’s just mechanical again. It doesn’t look like they are really enjoying it until the very end where the moans start getting deeper, and it appears that Alex is starting to go soft. He must have gotten soft because there’s a fade to the ending money shot, and he doesn’t seem to be getting very close at all, so you see him jerking it while Sophie waits and moans, but eventually it’s overall and that’s it. Another sex scene in the books, and honestly, it’s not that great. It’s kind of boring.

In the next scene we see Margareth Deli, Sophie Angel, and Mike Foster in a threeway. This isn’t a terrible scene, but it definitely lacks the passion that you’d expect from a lot of other sex scenes. However, there are a few moments that make this one not half bad, and it’s the hand job portion of the sex. Everyone is clean shaven here, and everyone seems adequate in the positions, and having sex is fine, but it’s just a little mechanical.

The movie continues to with a lot of plot devices. There’s a late night study session, and eventually turns into sex. The two stars here include Lara Stevens and David Perry. This is a lot more passionate than the other scenes, with both performers kissing a lot. They kept kissing and going through, with a passionate score that really changed the mood of this movie. Seriously, this scene seems out of place, since the two actually seem to like each other a lot more than the others. The only odd thing, is that the movie has an English dub for some of the moaning.

After some plot maneuvering, the lawyer visits her client and through their talk, ends up giving him a special gift. This scene features Milly D'Abbraccio and Alex Mantegna. Milly isn’t the most attractive of stars, but she really puts on a show, and seems to be enjoying herself with Alex. This may be the second best scene in the whole movie, as she really seems to like what she’s doing.

The movie then moves forward with another plot point, where lawyers and corrections officers discuss the case. Things keep moving forward, and you see the lawyer in her office, (Milly), and things seem to be moving forward as you’d expect. Milly D'Abbraccio and Nick Lang eventually have sex, but first, you will get a full scene with Milly trying to go over the details of her case.

Milly D'Abbraccio and Nick Lang go at it next on a peach looking couch. Milly is not shaved, mind you, and she is older. She seems to be enjoying this a lot, and that’s why she’s the star of this movie. Milly, kind of looks like Leonard’s mom from The Big Bang Theory, so that kind of tells you what she looks like. The two go through different positions, and while Nick seems to just be going through the motions, Milly seems to really like the process.

There’s a final orgy scene featuring Margareth Deli, Milly D'Abbraccio, Alberto Rey, Leslie Taylor, and Mike Foster, but in the import that I have, they didn’t show this. Maybe it’s an extra scene? I don’t know. The movie ends with Milly and Nick, at least in the one that I saw, and that was the end.

I give “The Sex Lawyer” a 2 out of 5.

This was not a great one, but it is functional. The women are European, the dubbing is bad, the music is ok, but it’s a mechanical sexual movie, with a cool plot, but that’s about it.

You can purchase “The Sex Lawyer” at various locations, via import. It’s an Italian film, and you may not find it everywhere.

Did you see “The Sex Lawyer”? If so, drop me a line in the comments below.

Dirty Shary (1985) Review

Dirty Shary Poster From 1985 

You may have heard of “Dirty Harry” those classic cop movies featuring Clint Eastwood, right? Those came out in the 1980s, and you know that porn would have a parody of that. For the silver screen this movie has some plot, and of course sex. It’s not a long movie, but it’s worth checking out if you’re a fan of parody porn and what not. That’s exactly what I did, and here we go. The plot of this movie is a private detective that is tasked with trying to break down a white slavery ring out of a brothel. The start of the movie features the main character telling you what to expect and how she gets criminals. She does so by showing off her massive breasts. This movie stars Christy Canyon, Steve Drake, Beverly Bliss, Colleen Brennan, and more. If you’re a fan of Christy Canyon, then “Dirty Shary” is going to be one hot movie for you, as she’s in a lot of the scenes, both for sex and to move the plot along.

Within a few minutes, you are thrown into the sex of this movie. I’m talking about 2 minutes into the movie, and Dirty Shary is going down on a guy. Christy Canyon and Steve Drake start things off, and it’s not half bad. If you like Canyon, then you’ll love her here as she more than eclipses Drake. There is a little bit of romance here, so it’s not straight gonzo. Drake warms up the oven so to speak, then goes into full force with Canyon. The two have some chemistry, mind you, but it’s not immediate. IT takes a little bit of time to go forward. Drake looks to be losing his erection after some time on the couch, but he manages to force one last push forward into doggy style before finally climaxing on Canyon’s butt. She seems to enjoy this last bit, even though Drake doesn’t seem to be as hard as he started, but he does ok towards the end, and Canyon is left with a few one liners. She doesn’t seem to get off, as Drake finishes well under 10 minutes, but hey, that’s porn for ya. The movie goes forward with the plot, as this scene was shorter than most modern flicks, that’s for sure.

The movie transitions into a plot point. Shary shows up to what appears to be a brothel. She only has a few lines of dialogue with the mistress of the house, and then enter Dino Alexander. He has a few lines about how he is a college guy and has found the brothel thanks to his dad. He’s told to go meet the DOM, and this is very much a powerful introduction to BDSM, although it’s more sexual than just dominating.

Beverly Bliss and Dino Alexander go forward with a fast paced sex scene, that really doesn’t have a lot of chemistry, until the end. Dino doesn’t cum a great deal, and Beverly has to basically rub it out, which is an awkward way to end this scenario, but hey, it happens, right? This was not a fun scene, and it was somewhat short. It ended well enough, and that’s it.

Spanish Cover of Dirty Shary From 1985

The next scene gets a little break, but it throws you into another Steve Drake scene, this time with Bunny Bleu. She’s a blonde girl with natural breasts and she likes to make a great deal of noise. Steve Drake, for the most part looks to have a bit more fun here than in the previous scene that he was in. The jazzy soundtrack really is distracting here for me. There’s a fine jazz soundtrack, that borders on modern jazz, mixed with the sounds of Bleu moaning. Drake eventually finishes and the money shot gets all over Bleu’s pubic hair. The scene ends casually, and then you’re thrown into another sex scene right away.

Up next, you get to see Heather Wayne pleasing herself, before Billy Dee shows up and gives her a ride. Billy Dee is a strong silent type, and man of color, working with Wayne. I always liked interracial sex scenes, mainly because I’m of Latin descent, and this makes me feel nice about the world of sex. This is a good overall scene, although the music goes from jazz to 1970s soft rock. That took me out of the scene a bit, but other than that, this works well. Wayne is not the most attractive of women, but she seems to really like this scene, and the two have some good chemistry overall.

Up next, Dino Alexander is seen leaving the brothel, and he has no more money. But Colleen Brennan stops him, the older woman wanting a taste of college man sex, and well the two get it on. This was a mechanical scene, with minimal moaning, and Dino making more noise than anything else. The music once again changes, and the two go at it on a couch that looks like it was picked up at a thrift store. This was all business until Dino starts playing with Brennan’s nipples and then the two start to get some chemistry going and really start to enjoy the scene together. Lucky Dino, he gets two shots in at the brothel for the price of one.

At this point, you are taken to Christy Canyon taking photographs of the brothel outside, and talks to a detective that is under cover. He says that Canyon has to go into the house and meet someone.

What happens? Well she meets up with a random dude, and takes off her top, and the music comes in, telling you that something grand is going to go on. Once the bass line and bongo drums start, you might as well get ready for this scene, because it’s the film’s ending sexual escapade. Dan T. Mann and Christy Canyon put on a good romp here, with Christy seemingly interested in giving a good performance, unlike her role with Drake. Nearly to the end of the sex, Mann looks to be losing his erection, one which was never truly that hard to begin with, and asks Christy who she is, or he won’t finish. She then states, “I’m Dirty Shary” and the two continue until he cums, and that’s the end of the movie.

There’s an epilogue where Canyon says that the investigation into the brothel didn’t turn up much of a lead or anything. It turns out, that the house was just volunteer staff and that Shary stayed on to hit up 50 guys before concluding her investigation. So there’s that.

I give “Dirty Shary” a 2 out of 5.

Christy Canyon is a legend no doubt, but the short scenes, lackluster attempt to even try to throw in the plot, and mechanical performances mire this otherwise interesting parody porno. Plus, the music kept throwing me off, and that’s not a good thing in an adult feature.

You can buy “Dirty Shary” from a variety of sources. Including Here

Did you see “Dirty Shary”? What are your thoughts? Drop me a line in the comments.

Ghost Town (1996) Review

Ghost Town - 1996 DVD Cover - adultdvdempire dot com src 

There are two major reasons that I wanted to review the movie “Ghost Town” from 1996. The first is simple, the actress that stars reminds me of one of my friends, and dare I say lovers. I kid you not, my friend is one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met, and whenever I see Lori Michaels, I think of her. But before I ever met my friend, I saw this movie on the Spice Network. I’ve talked about the Spice Network before, but this is a big one for me.

The reason why this is such a big movie for me is because I recorded this from the Spice Network onto a VHS tape. Now, the VHS tape I had recorded had a hard R feature of this. Now, I want you to try and think of what that was like in 1996. Take this movie, and then try to imagine not seeing an erect penis, but rather imagine the ending scene from “Austin Powers”. You see the motions, you hear the moaning, but you do not see an erect penis, and you do not see it go in someone’s mouth, nor do you see it go into the vagina or anywhere else. Now, you do see eyes, facial expressions, and directors zooming into the act, but you do not see it. I know, that sounds insane, but that’s how we used to get off in the mid 1990s on basic cable.

So what now? I’m older, and I can get the X rated version, and you better believe that I took full advantage of that. I went ahead and finally watched this full release, and well, it certainly brought back a lot of memories.

This is a movie that has a plot, which is why I chose to review it. It features a lot of bad acting, as per usual. The movie starts with a couple that gets lost on the way to Phoenix. When their car breaks down in the opposite direction, the couple argue and meet up with an old man, “Doc”. He then offers to help fix the car. Doc, Bobby Vitale, Lori Michaels and Doc talk about, and he said the two should walk to the next town. The two decide that they will wait for help, and just walk around the two. Doc continues to make funny quips, and I wonder how I could get a non-sex role like that one?

Night falls. The setting changes. Vitale and Michaels find an old place to spend the night. Steve Hatcher and Lori Michaels fall asleep, and that’s it. When they wake up Michaels is all naked, and Vitale is fully clothed. Michaels finds an old night gown, puts it on and decides to see what’s around town, looking for her clothes, since she’s lost them overnight. And that’s where this movie starts to get sexual. You’ll have to wait a while before you get any sex, making this a favorite of mine already. I like plot driven movies. Michaels stumbles into a brothel, and is forced to dance, meanwhile Sahara Sands, Steve Hatcher, and Tom Byron go to another room, and have their way with a show girl. Tom Byron here has a full mustache and goatee, and long hair. He’s going through a phase, huh? Sahara Sands is a buxom blonde, and is a bit older here. The action is fast, with a country music tune in the background. You really feel like you’re in the wild west when you watch this go down. The threesome involves Sands doing anal, blow jobs, and that’s it. No DP, and the sound designer muted her expressions at one point, and you can’t hear her moan, instead you get the sound track. When Byron pops, she screams, and it’s quite nice, but at that point Hatcher is soft, which is an odd dichotomy.

After the sex scene, we are thrown into another sex scene, this time a threeway featuring Felecia, Lori Michaels and Melissa Hill. This is ok, and features the women on stage inside a brothel, while the same country music soundtrack plays. The music and the sounds of moaning and kissing are leveled out, and this is not a bad scene, but it’s definitely not grand either.

The plot keeps moving forward after the sex scene. Michaels’ character is wondering where her husband is, and he’s on stage with Christi Lake, one of my favorite actresses from the 1990s. Michaels is upset that Vitale is going to have sex with Lake, and well, that’s exactly what goes down. Lake looks like an old boss of mine, which is why I love to see her work, as I always wanted to be involved with her, so I guess for me, this is a fantasy. Lake and Vitale have good chemistry, and the two work out well on the stage, in multiple positions, going back and forth, and just enjoying the process of the sex. Vitale eventually gives Lake a cum shot to the face, and that’s it.

Michaels’ character runs off looking for her husband, and sees Jill Kelly and Tony Tedeschi getting friendly. The camera zooms in on the two of them, and that’s the next scene here. The two go through a very mechanical, somewhat boring sexual romp. It is probably my least favorite Jill Kelly scene I’ve ever watched. It’s functional, but there’s an interesting change here. What you’re going to find is that Tony Tedeschi here has a condom on. He goes for anal play at one point, but it’s a very tame scene, with a new soundtrack of country styled music.

The next scene has Lori Michaels and Peter North finding each other, and Peter North branding Michaels like a piece of cattle, metaphorically, mind you. And what occurs next, wow, another boring disconnect from sexual virtual reality. This scene was not as hot as I recall, and it is a slow moving, condom based scene that is just disastrous. Michaels is silent, North is mechanical, and the music shifts in tone. This was a fast moving sex, and that was it. It’s just not grand.

After this, Michaels runs to her boyfriend and they get into the car that found them in this ghost town, only to leave and that’s that. The movie that once got me very hot, fizzled out and really made me rethink my own memories.

I give “Ghost Town” a 2 out of 5.

I know, nostalgia is neat, but this movie sucked. I liked the plot driven method, there was some chemistry between Christi Lake and Vitale, but the rest of the movie is kind of boring, the music isn’t that good, and well, I just can’t get behind calling this one a great one.

You can purchase “Ghost Town” via a lot of outlets, and I guess it’s an ok movie.

Did you see “Ghost Town”? If so, dropped me a line in the comments below.

Dickman and Throbbin (1986) Review

Dickman and Throbbin - 1986 VHS Cover

Well, if you like parody porn, here we go. A movie that stars Tom Byron as Throbbin and John Holmes as Dickman. This movie is from 1986, and the duo get to meet Amber Lynn, Joanna Storm, Steve Drake, Kari Fox, Peter North, Keli Richards, Jessica Wylde, Mark Wallace, Regine Bardot, and Pat Manning. There you go, the cast is not half bad, and the movie is a direct rip off of the DC Comics showcase. This is from 1986, so don’t exactly expect the top tier production that you will get from modern releases in parody porn. I got my grubby hands on a VHS copy of this thing, and turned up the mono speakers, and sat back for Jerome Tanner’s “Dickman and Throbbin” from 1986, because, why the hell not?

Joanna Storm and Peter North are the couple that starts the sexual romps, and it’s not half bad. I’ve never seen anything from Joanna Storm, but Peter North is usually a good one to watch. This showcase had North in “work” mode most of the time, but eventually he pushes through and just loses it towards the end. He goes so hard that he actually cums on Storm’s natural hairy vagina, and then re-inserts her and then goes for broke for a second orgasm. The two didn’t have a lot of chemistry at first, but after some time, towards the end, it seemed like they really got it, and were loving every second. That was kind of a neat showcase, making this an interesting starting line for the movie.

After some dialogue and forward progress with the movie’s plot, Steve Drake calls a phone sex line. He then pretends to masturbate, while on the phone with Jessica Wild. It’s obvious that he’s not really talking to Wylde, and the camera switches back and forth between the two. There’s nothing less sexy than seeing someone masturbate without being hard. Drake tries, and it’s not sexy at all, meanwhile, Wylde starts to please herself, and that’s a lot sexier. This scene is back and forth masturbation and phone sex, and it’s not completely terrible, but it’s also not exactly that sexy either. I’m not a fan of just watch someone’s facial expressions, and the director zooms in on Drake for a great deal of the time, and eventually he gets hard enough to cum, and well that’s an ok sight, but this was painful to watch, not at all what you’d expect via the title of the movie that’s for sure. Wylde continues on the phone and with her hand, and she’s very mechanical here, leaving Drake with a dirty hand, and a boring process. When the two put the phone down, Wylde gets a dildo out and just goes to town, so if you’re a fan of solo scenes, this is a good one for you.

More dialogue scenes break up the action, and I honestly am not sure why this movie is titled as a Batman parody as there is no real momentum in that direction. The majority of the movie is spent with straight sex and dialogue in an office. I guess that means that the budget wasn’t spent on a lot of things.

The next sex scene is Marc Wallace and Joanna Storm, and the two work well together. However, if you were watching this one, you may have spotted a zit on Marc Wallace’s balls. But aside from that, him and Storm actually have a lot of chemistry, and the two really go to town with one another. There are moments where Wallace takes his penis out and rubs it on storm and she responds amazingly, and there’s even a cum shot towards the end of this scene, and he then re-inserts, which is quite good, meaning the two have some serious chemistry. Storm’s red pumps don’t fall off, and she really seems to enjoy the Mail Man, aka Wallace, who wears a mail man’s shirt through the scene. Storm and Wallace make this one hell of a sex scene, saving what would otherwise be a kind of crappy movie. Wallace cums three times in this scene, and Storm makes this one quite sexy, a good scene for the two, with lots of passion and movement. I’m assuming that this wasn’t shot in one go, because there’s not a lot of sweat, and if that’s the case, right on, they really seemed to love going through the motions here.

The movie moves forward to a scene where you finally see Dickman and Throbbin. This is an interesting threeway, with Amber Lynn and Holmes going strong, and Byron getting into the action as well. Holmes is not in his prime here, and it shows, but he’s still big, so he goes through well. Byron has that young man look, and it’s not half bad. Lynn really seems to be turned on by Byron, and not so much by Holmes, but the scene works well enough, even though Holmes just seems like he’s in “work” mode. Lynn takes it all here, and this is actually not half bad. This seems like a more modern porno film, but there are some weird edits that seem to be covering for Holmes not being able to stay hard. That is kind of odd, but it’s what happened to Holmes in the latter days of his career.

The movie moves along the plot, but it’s so thin, that it’s not even worth explaining. It’s not even a plot as much as it is a few seconds of a lady worried. That leads to Steve Drake and Kari Foxx.

Kari Foxx and Steve Drake put on a slight show, but the director goes all “artsy”. This scene has color shifts, and interesting sequencing, with every basic film trick in the book. When you see this scene, you’re going to be seeing double exposures, colorful changes, multiple positions, lighting, and just interesting elements. The two don’t have a lot of chemistry, which is just odd considering the artsy look and feel.

You see Drake and Foxx in bed, Drake dreaming of sex rather than having it, and Foxx gets mad. This is a quick scene that is supposed to move the plot, but has little to nothing to do with the bigger element of the movie.

That changes the scene and then we are treated to a threesome with Joanna Storm, Regine Bardot and Peter North. North, for the first time I’ve ever seen on film doesn’t get hard easily, but he bounces back. He tries to get it up and Bardot is patient, but it’s obvious that he has no chemistry with his costars in this scene. He goes through the motions, don’t get me wrong, and he eventually gets through the whole act, with both women, but it’s obvious that he’s not having as much fun as he does with other women. I don’t know why, but the three just aren’t that into it, but the women are together. So there’s that. This is a lackluster scene, but the music is ok.

The movie’s plot really thickens at this point with Steve Drake paying off Dickman and Throbbin to excite his wife, because he wants to have sex with her. The dynamic duo show up in Keli Richards’ bedroom and then go to work. They start to please her and she wakes up, and the duo show her a good time. This was a little better than the previous threesome that these guys have, and it’s because Keli Richards seems to be having fun. However, the director again changes the edit, and switches a lot, which I can only assume is because Holmes wasn’t doing so hot. I mean he does ok here, and Richards is great overall. Byron is there, but seems as though he’s just on the sidelines for a lot of this. The duo end up with a DP here, and that was interesting to see, so if you’re a fan of DP, this is the scene for you, as the two actually get through this with some fun with Richards. This was A material.

At the end of the whole scene, Steve Drake gets a visit from Dickman and Throbbin and they tell him that Richards is ready. The movie then ends with a quick scene in which Steve Drake wakes up to Keli Richards blowing him. The two get through a ten-minute scene, and it’s not half bad, lots of hair, tan lines, and Drake finally looking like he’s enjoying the fun. Richards is nice to look at, the music plays well and the movie slams into climax as the two finish each other off.

That’s it, the movie ends with the credits rolling over a picture of Drake, Holmes, and Byron. Not a terrible movie, not a great one, but definitely shows the age of the movie.

I give “Dickman and Throbbin” a 3 out of 5.

You can purchase “Dickman and Throbbin” via various outlets, and you can even see it with subscriptions to some companies. Not bad, not great, just ok.

Did you see “Dickman and Throbbin”? Drop me a line in the comments with your thoughts.