Dirty Shary (1985) Review

Dirty Shary Poster From 1985 

You may have heard of “Dirty Harry” those classic cop movies featuring Clint Eastwood, right? Those came out in the 1980s, and you know that porn would have a parody of that. For the silver screen this movie has some plot, and of course sex. It’s not a long movie, but it’s worth checking out if you’re a fan of parody porn and what not. That’s exactly what I did, and here we go. The plot of this movie is a private detective that is tasked with trying to break down a white slavery ring out of a brothel. The start of the movie features the main character telling you what to expect and how she gets criminals. She does so by showing off her massive breasts. This movie stars Christy Canyon, Steve Drake, Beverly Bliss, Colleen Brennan, and more. If you’re a fan of Christy Canyon, then “Dirty Shary” is going to be one hot movie for you, as she’s in a lot of the scenes, both for sex and to move the plot along.

Within a few minutes, you are thrown into the sex of this movie. I’m talking about 2 minutes into the movie, and Dirty Shary is going down on a guy. Christy Canyon and Steve Drake start things off, and it’s not half bad. If you like Canyon, then you’ll love her here as she more than eclipses Drake. There is a little bit of romance here, so it’s not straight gonzo. Drake warms up the oven so to speak, then goes into full force with Canyon. The two have some chemistry, mind you, but it’s not immediate. IT takes a little bit of time to go forward. Drake looks to be losing his erection after some time on the couch, but he manages to force one last push forward into doggy style before finally climaxing on Canyon’s butt. She seems to enjoy this last bit, even though Drake doesn’t seem to be as hard as he started, but he does ok towards the end, and Canyon is left with a few one liners. She doesn’t seem to get off, as Drake finishes well under 10 minutes, but hey, that’s porn for ya. The movie goes forward with the plot, as this scene was shorter than most modern flicks, that’s for sure.

The movie transitions into a plot point. Shary shows up to what appears to be a brothel. She only has a few lines of dialogue with the mistress of the house, and then enter Dino Alexander. He has a few lines about how he is a college guy and has found the brothel thanks to his dad. He’s told to go meet the DOM, and this is very much a powerful introduction to BDSM, although it’s more sexual than just dominating.

Beverly Bliss and Dino Alexander go forward with a fast paced sex scene, that really doesn’t have a lot of chemistry, until the end. Dino doesn’t cum a great deal, and Beverly has to basically rub it out, which is an awkward way to end this scenario, but hey, it happens, right? This was not a fun scene, and it was somewhat short. It ended well enough, and that’s it.

Spanish Cover of Dirty Shary From 1985

The next scene gets a little break, but it throws you into another Steve Drake scene, this time with Bunny Bleu. She’s a blonde girl with natural breasts and she likes to make a great deal of noise. Steve Drake, for the most part looks to have a bit more fun here than in the previous scene that he was in. The jazzy soundtrack really is distracting here for me. There’s a fine jazz soundtrack, that borders on modern jazz, mixed with the sounds of Bleu moaning. Drake eventually finishes and the money shot gets all over Bleu’s pubic hair. The scene ends casually, and then you’re thrown into another sex scene right away.

Up next, you get to see Heather Wayne pleasing herself, before Billy Dee shows up and gives her a ride. Billy Dee is a strong silent type, and man of color, working with Wayne. I always liked interracial sex scenes, mainly because I’m of Latin descent, and this makes me feel nice about the world of sex. This is a good overall scene, although the music goes from jazz to 1970s soft rock. That took me out of the scene a bit, but other than that, this works well. Wayne is not the most attractive of women, but she seems to really like this scene, and the two have some good chemistry overall.

Up next, Dino Alexander is seen leaving the brothel, and he has no more money. But Colleen Brennan stops him, the older woman wanting a taste of college man sex, and well the two get it on. This was a mechanical scene, with minimal moaning, and Dino making more noise than anything else. The music once again changes, and the two go at it on a couch that looks like it was picked up at a thrift store. This was all business until Dino starts playing with Brennan’s nipples and then the two start to get some chemistry going and really start to enjoy the scene together. Lucky Dino, he gets two shots in at the brothel for the price of one.

At this point, you are taken to Christy Canyon taking photographs of the brothel outside, and talks to a detective that is under cover. He says that Canyon has to go into the house and meet someone.

What happens? Well she meets up with a random dude, and takes off her top, and the music comes in, telling you that something grand is going to go on. Once the bass line and bongo drums start, you might as well get ready for this scene, because it’s the film’s ending sexual escapade. Dan T. Mann and Christy Canyon put on a good romp here, with Christy seemingly interested in giving a good performance, unlike her role with Drake. Nearly to the end of the sex, Mann looks to be losing his erection, one which was never truly that hard to begin with, and asks Christy who she is, or he won’t finish. She then states, “I’m Dirty Shary” and the two continue until he cums, and that’s the end of the movie.

There’s an epilogue where Canyon says that the investigation into the brothel didn’t turn up much of a lead or anything. It turns out, that the house was just volunteer staff and that Shary stayed on to hit up 50 guys before concluding her investigation. So there’s that.

I give “Dirty Shary” a 2 out of 5.

Christy Canyon is a legend no doubt, but the short scenes, lackluster attempt to even try to throw in the plot, and mechanical performances mire this otherwise interesting parody porno. Plus, the music kept throwing me off, and that’s not a good thing in an adult feature.

You can buy “Dirty Shary” from a variety of sources. Including Here

Did you see “Dirty Shary”? What are your thoughts? Drop me a line in the comments.