Guilty As Sin (1996) Review

Guilty as Sin (1996)

It took me a long time to get back into the swing of things. I have been working a lot, and have been pursuing a doctorate degree, and just found myself focusing on reading, writing, and other areas of interest. Today, we are going to be looking at a movie from 1996. This movie came out in 1996, and it is 93 minutes long. It was directed by Jim Enright, and distributed by Klimaxxx Productions. This movie features some great actors, so I am intrigued by the initial line up. This movie is called, “Guilty as Sin”, and it stars Missy, Mickey G, TT Boy, Nadia Moore, Precious Silver, Peter North, Alex Dane, Alex Dane, Celine Devoux, Blake Mitchell, and Jonathan Morgan. At the time of this movie’s filming around January of 1996, I was only 13 years old, so I did not see it until recently. Some of my personal favorite adult stars are in this movie, and they include TT Boy, Peter North, and Jonathan Morgan. Steve Drake, that rascal is here too, and of course a line up of women that came and went, and didn’t make a big splash like some other featured women on this site. But that’s the world of adult movies, hit and miss, and hope.

You ever wonder who the custodian of records is for these movies? The opening of this movie has a slow starting point, where you hear nothing, see nothing, but get that warning that the custodian of records has all the files on all of the performers, because they are all of age, etc.

The movie starts with three women talking. A secretary comes into an office and is talking about a new client. The new client is a blonde haired woman, and she said that she heard the attorney is the best and she needs the best. She’s in the worst running suit, and it’s hilarious. The office looks like your average set, grey carpeting, a book shelf, some books, a random credential, and a piece of Thomas Kincade art in the background. A desk, and brown bookshelf, and the lighting of course is coming from two angles, so the shadows are showcasing where the lighting rigs are. I’m trying to see if there’s a boom mic in the shot, but the editor did a good job of framing this enough to not see it, but I know it’s up there, and if you’re careful, you can catch the sound bouncing through it.

The blonde tells the attorney that she needs her, and the attorney said she doesn’t need anyone if she hasn’t been arrested or taken in for questioning yet. The blonde tries to convince the lawyer, but the attorney is not having it, until the blonde tells her a little more about her story, and that she has an alibi that has stopped her from killing her man. She says she has her own money, so there’s no way she could’ve killed her husband. When she starts that, the attorney sits down and starts to listen to a story, where we get a hard cut, and into the first scene of adult material.

We cut to a backyard swimming pool. There is a single camera shot looking in on Mickey G floating on a pool bed, and Missy comes through. She walks in with a bikini, but the frame of the shot is so uneven, you can barely see her get into the frame. The director has this shot framed horribly, and the sunlight is so bright, the backyard is washed out, the colors not grand. Missy is a thin, dirty blonde, and has that California tan. Missy gets down to the pool and starts to blow Mickey G immediately, without any interlude, and a hard camera cut, straight to the close up of her blowing him directly. I’m not a fan of the framing of this scene at all. The centering is all off, and the weight is positioned in an odd manner. Mickey G. begins giving Missy oral after she blows him for a while, and the two have basic chemistry, but nothing too grand. Missy’s make up is on point, non-reflective, and her blonde hair has roots that come through as the camera focuses in and out of the closeups. Mickey G. is unkempt and is playing a macho role here. Missy has long legs, that California, blonde, slightly tan but not really too pasty skin tone. The two get out of the pool and use the flotation device to go into more positions. Fans of Missy will find this performance to be adequate, as Mickey G goes through the motions of each position, his arm behind his back because the camera is right on the two as they try to have sex. This scene is quick, and ends with a cum shot on Missy’s face, as she moans. This is not a grand scene, but it’s straight sex, no condoms, and for the outdoors, safe in terms of fantasy land.

We go back to the attorney’s office where Missy talks about what is going on with the case. They talk about how an open marriage, and that they allowed one another to love others as well. Just then, Jonathan Morgan storms in and gives Missy a warrant for arrest. Then the attorney finally says she’ll be her client. Dana, is her name, and the acting here is horrible, with the exception of Jonathan Morgan. Morgan says that the woman shot her husband with a shotgun, and she’s guilty.

We move forward to an office building where Steve Drake and our attorney start to talk. They talk about what things are had by the client. The acting here isn’t too bad, not great, but the dialogue works well. The office here is an obvious set, with bad lighting, but Drake does well here as an evil attorney.

Another hard cut and we are nearly 20 minutes into the porno, and the plot thickens. We see a press release, then we get two women sitting in bed and talking more plot. Missy’s accused of murder, Steve Drake is the evil lawyer, and things keep moving forward, with lots of dialogue. That alone elevates this movie past minor porno status, and instead gives it a full 2 stars extra just for the plot, dialogue, and storyline.

Soft cut here, and we get Missy talking to her lawyer again. The two discuss the pieces of the case. This time we are in Missy’s house, but she’s wearing the same wardrobe as before. During this scene, Missy and her attorney discusses the relationship that Missy has with Charlie. Charlie is played by Peter North, mind you. It’s here that we transition to the next sex scene, and the director throws us into the mess.

We go back outside, and Missy is sitting on a park bench while TT Boy is over her, getting blown. The music starts, and it’s saxophone heavy, with TT Boy showcasing his prowess, and Missy putting on a show for Peter North, who plays the voyeur, or the cuck, depending on how you view this type of thing. Missy and TT Boy have a lot more chemistry than Mickey G did with her, and it shows. Missy rides him in various positions, and he gets really into it towards the end, giving Miss a great deal for the somewhat short scene all things considered. Meanwhile, Peter North sits and watches, and eventually TT Boy cums on Missy’s face, and positions her a bit further from him to get the first launch, which is fine, but not grand. It’s an ok scene, better than the first, that’s for certain.

The lawyer asks Missy if Charlie (Peter North) ever had other women, and that’s when the screen fades, and we see three women enter a room, and present themselves to North. Meanwhile, Missy watches from the corner of a badly decorated set. The show here starts immediately with terrible elevator rock music, that sounds all synth heavy. Nadia Moore, and Precious Silver are the actresses, and they are both skinny, model types, with enhanced breasts, and pretty faces. Both have darker hair, and are a contrast to missy’s blonde hair. The camera goes back and forth between solo action with Missy, to Peter North immediately getting blown and moaning. The set design here sucks, alongside with the lighting, which casts bad shadows all over the scene from overhead lighting. But as far as the sex is concerned, it’s not half bad, although North seems to be in work mode, while the women just go through the motions. You can tell the lighting is coming from the fourth wall, as the shadows give away the set details. As for titillation, the women put on a clinic of how to give ladies oral, meanwhile, North does his best to keep it up. The sex is as sterile as a brothel visit. This is not North’s best work, and Nadia and Precious seem to just be willing participants in a scene where they are more interested in each other, including one woman with a hood piercing. The music is horrible though, the set has green walls, and the camera is all over the place, so good luck with this one. Oh, and how can I forget, there’s a Peter North facial onto a tongue ring, and well, he doesn’t exactly drop a big load here, so if you’re looking for the best of North, this is not the scene for you.

We get back to the house that the attorney was in with Missy. The two start to discuss how many partners one another had. The two women continue to converse, and we get a scene where the attorney is driving. I kid you not, this is a legit movie, although B-level or C-level, but there’s structure here that you do not get with a lot of movies.

The lawyer shows up to her home and walks in, only to find Jonathan Morgan to be in her bed. The two argue about why she took the case. Morgan is a detective, mind you, and the two keep talking about the case, and how one thinks the client is guilty. Morgan gets thrown out of her house, in the worst acting job in the movie thus far.

A soft fade and we go to a court room scene. This is actually done well, and there’s even some non-sex actors in this! I love those! I was in one once. Anyways, this turns into a court room drama, and we get into the best dialogue, and attempts to act. If you are one to watch full movies, rather than just fast forward to sex, you’ll be delighted by the acting job done here. Except for the fact that the attorney here is just reading aloud, not from memory. The judge as well isn’t really taking it seriously, and why would he? It’s a porno, right? A witness is called to the stand, and it’s Alex Dane.

A hard cut takes us into the bedroom of Alex Dane and Peter North. Dane is a skinny, small breasted, brunette, and she immediately begins with a blow job on Peter North. The music here is horrendous, and the set design is actually straight of the 1980s. The flowery brown couch, the hardwood flooring, white piano, and terrible contrast of color and design makes me laugh. Dane and North have a bit of chemistry, especially Dane who really seems to get into the act of giving North a good scene. The two have sex on a brown couch with flowery patterns, and a reddish background, a thrift store find if you ask me. The sex goes through several instances, and positions, with North maintain speed, and precision eventually going through anal. It’s apparent that Dane isn’t that into it, but the scene calls for it, so it goes forward. The music is synth heavy, and it’s fake horns here, and it’s horrible. It’s louder than the sex sounds, which have Dane moaning and North just breathing heavily. After some time, North finishes on Dane’s chest, and that’s that. This is bland. Very little chemistry, and just run of the mill in terms of lighting, and camera work. It’s lazy if you ask me.

Missy shows up and sees the two after they’ve had sex, and she’s upset.

The movie goes forward with the court case, and Drake keeps pushing the witness, and we get moving forward into Drake’s office. Here we see a blonde in a red dress talking to our prosecutor. The two start kissing, and soft music starts. Celine Devoux is the actress here, and she looks like Topanga from “Boy Meets World”, with her hair done like her, thick thighs, and skin tone that draws you in. The set here again is bland, but it’s done up to look like a cheap lawyer’s office or a motel, for that matter. The lighting sucks again, and I’m wondering who green lit this thing, but it’s a porno, so I guess I shouldn’t complain. Devoux and Drake begin with foreplay, and Drake giving some breast play to start. Devoux’s chest is natural, from what I can tell, but then again, this is 1996, maybe they aren’t? I don’t know, I should know. She has cake makeup, is trimmed, and the camera goes right into the tongue and labia, so if you’re a fan of oral, or want to learn, Drake seems to put on a clinic with the foreplay and oral. Drake uses his fingers, mouth, and more to get the first initial climax, and the camera moves lower to show you different angles, and I take back my comment about Devoux’s chest not being enhanced. The sex starts, and it’s casual, nothing crazy, reverse cowgirl, couch sex, Devoux moaning, and for the most part, it’s just run of the mill. I can’t really say it’s terrible, but it’s apparent that Drake and Devoux do not match chemistry, but rather are doing the job. Devoux is a blonde haired stripper type, and if that’s your thing, enjoy. Otherwise, you’re going to get distracted by the lack of chemistry, if that’s what you’e looking for. At the 72 minute mark, there’s anal, and that’s where the scene takes a tonal shift, with the two actually seeming to love what they do, so kudos on that. A cum shot on the chest of Devoux, and that’s the end of the scene.

Drake gets a phone call, and it’s Jonathan Morgan saying that there’s another murder. This time it’s a young man, and it’s another shotgun killing.

The movie then moves forward, and we get to see what really is happening. The attorney talks to Missy, and we then go to a room where Missy is talking to someone on the phone, yelling. The phone is tapped, and we are seeing the end of this story unfold. Missy is in on an extortion plot, she throws the phone down and pulls out a gun, and grabs a leather jacket, this thing is turning into a revenge thriller!

The plot finally thickens, and I’m all in here. A detective is on her tail, and we get some thriller type music, as she pulls up to a house, under the cover of night, to see Peter North come out in a suit, and he’s not dead afterall! North says that the two can run away together. The attorney shows up, talks her out of it, and right before she shoots North, a detective shows up and that’s the end. The whole story wraps up with a detective and our attorney.

Up to this point I didn’t want to name the attorney, because I’m lazy. It’s Blake Mitchell, a short haired redhead, with large breasts. Jonathan Morgan and her begin to kiss on the set of her apartment, and begin with breast play. The oral sex on this scene is good, and Morgan sure has some initial skills with Mitchell, which I definitely appreciated, considering this movie seems to lack in the sex department at times. The camera hides behind a plant at one point, which is hilarious to me. This apartment is designed like the worst Ikea in the world, mind you. The sex begins with a condom on, mind you, the first condom I’ve seen in this whole movie. We start with doggy style, and it’s ok at best. Mitchell moans, and Morgan concentrates, but you can tell that it’s just pure concentration, and nothing more. We switch to another position, Morgan on top and going forward as fast as he can, and then leading to an end of a cum shot on Mitchell’s triple D breasts, which the camera makes look enormous with the angle they choose.

The camera fades, and we get the end, that’s it. The end sequence, and a finish line for the movie.

“Guilty As Sin” was not my favorite movie in terms of sex. But as far as a full movie, with a script, with lots of dialogue, editing, sequencing, and full plot, this is a stellar example of what can be done with a minor budget, for a sex movie. It’s a movie I could see in theaters, and enjoy enough not to finish myself off within the first scene. That’s a special kind of porno movie, isn’t it? Well, it’s something alright.

I give “Guilty As Sin” a 3 out of 5.

You can buy, stream, and download “Guilty As Sin” from 1996, and see extras, and maybe even give it a better rating by clicking here!

John Leslie's Night Shift Nurses (1987) Review

John Leslie's Nightshift Nurses

Today, we go back to a topic that is near and dear to my heart. We talk about porno and nurses, and the original elements that made me raise an eyebrow when I was going through puberty. There’s something about nurses and sex, even to this day, and while the uniforms are all different now, I still think fondly of them for various reasons. Today we are going back to 1987, for a movie about some hard working medical staff, and the men they help. This movie is called “Night Shift Nurses” and it’s from 1987. The movie stars Dana Dylan, Lynn Franciss, Joey Silvera, D.J. Cone, Steve Henessey, Keisha, Jose Duval, John Leslie, Siobhan Hunter, Peter North, Bionca, and Lois Ayres. Some of these names you know, and some of them will be new, as they weren’t that famous, but hey, it’s 1987, and the VHS revolution was just gaining steam in the adult video world, so you probably didn’t buy this one, you rented it. Directed by John Leslie, “Night Shift Nurses” is another one of those nurse movies your dad probably hid on betamax.

The beginning of this movie is not pornographic. It shows a janitor mopping a floor, very much like you would expect from a horror movie. The camera is low, and you see a man mopping, and that’s it. There’s nothing sensual, nothing extreme, just a man mopping the floor, and just doing his job. There’s film grain here. There’s a nod to cinematography initially, but the lack of cuts and stationary camera, reminds you that this is not Hollywood, outright. I do appreciate the lighting, shadows, and set design, as this is certainly a hallway set, not just a random warehouse, without ceilings.

The opening sequence takes a turn. The janitor looks into a crack in a door way, and sees a doctor and two nurses. They are Dana Dylan, and Lynn Franciss, and the doctor is none other than Joey Silvera. There’s nothing shaved here, Silvera has full pubic hair, and he’s rock hard to start, but he’s not a big guy, as I may have stated before. We have a contrast in women, both slim, medium sized breasts, equally as pretty, one brunette and one blonde, and they kiss, suck, and make sure that Silvera stays in the moment. Meanwhile, the janitor starts to get hard, and puts his hands down his pants, as the camera juxtaposes manual stimulation, with Silvera and the nurses getting into a threesome behind closed doors. The sex starts with Silvera getting sucked off by one nurse, while he kisses another, and that’s enough gusto to get this movie rolling into what it is, a porno. Silvera here is golden, the women do their roles well, and the sex is swift, the editing is fast, and you really end up seeing both the sex, and the solo act all in the same scene, with a mix between the two. The brunette in this one is great, she rides silvera and seems like a natural against the blonde, but both definitely do work with Silvera. Meanwhile, Steve Henessey is outside the doorway masturbating. The trio have sex in a small room, with blue walls, and odd lighting, and yet it has a sexy quality to it that you cannot deny. There is anal around the 3 minute mark, mind you, so if you’re a fan of anal, there’s a few sequences of that.

Meanwhile the janitor is watching, and a nurse comes up on him to look at what he’s doing. The camera shows a very blonde, tall woman, and she just watches the janitor, and he of course looks into the room. While in doggy, the brunette and the janitor lock eyes, and the two have a moment while Silvera continues to anal. Silvera cums on the brunette’s lower back, and the janitor cums while the nurse keeps watching, and that knocks out two scenes in one edit.

The cool thing for me about this movie is that it’s dubbed in Spanish! Score me! I love when porno comes to me dubbed. The blonde from the hallway talks to an admin and he talks about how his staff needs to be up to snuff. The nurses are all busty, have big 1980s hair. The set here looks like a legit hospital, with admin files, overhead lighting, and shadows that you’d expect, but of course, it’s a set. The head nurse said that there is going to be an inspection later today, and that no one is going to lose their job. There’s a good overall plot point here, and that’s something that you’ll definitely note as something interesting. The movie goes to another room, and it’s the janitor cleaning, meanwhile Joey Silvera shows up to talk to him. Silvera says he just operated on a woman and that she had the biggest prostate ever, and the janitor tells him that only men have that. Silvera then talks about how he’s a detective, and that he is watching for changes, and more. Silvera is so natural here, with his bushy hair and mustache, he just exudes porn acting.

After the meeting in the random room, two nurses talk in the main lobby. They talk about how new uniforms were ordered, and they were on the way. Meanwhile, we end up going back to see the janitor cleaning, and inside a closet, when the head doctor comes in and puts on a lab coat. A woman comes into the doctor’s office, and says she has a headache that won’t go away. This is the 12 minute mark mind you, and the doctor looks at a file. The woman here is mature, made up like the late 1980s sitcom women would be, and has large red hair. The doctor makes some jokes, and tries to see what’s going on with the lady. She’s not having it, though, and she seems annoyed by the doctor’s lax methods. The doctor gets a phone call and says he has to go, but will be right back. The janitor comes out of the closet, and the woman grabs him, and pulls his pants down.

For this scene we see D.J. Cone, a redhead that looks a lot like your standard 1980s sitcom mom, and Steve Henessey, she blows Henessey a little, then seems frustrated when the doctor comes back yelling. The doctor comes in and recommends that we look into getting her temperature rectally, and we see him put a thermometer in her butt. The doctor gets a phone call again and says he will be right back. This time, D.J. Cone is nude, and as the janitor comes out of the closet again, he encounters Cone naked, and once again she pulls his pants down and wants to get action. The funky music starts and Cone gets really horny here, as Henessey just gets blown.

The scene cuts and we go to the lobby, and the doctor is yelling and muttering random bs, before we go back to the sex scene. I don’t know why there are edits of this type, but

Cone has full red pubic hair, and Henessey is big, as he goes in deep on the doctor’s table. The shadows here indicate studio lights from where the camera is facing, into the action. You can tell that this is not a real hospital, but a poorly dressed set. After some pumps, the janitor cums and Cone wipes herself up and then puts the thermometer back in her anus, and that’s it. The doctor returns and he starts to talk about what they can do to help her. She gets dressed, smiles, and we move along to the next scenario.

For the next scene we are back in the locker room. We see 4 nurses, all with big 1980s hair, and Joey Silvera sitting on a blue couch. The women are just talking randomly, and saying that they are not going to go anywhere until the inspectors have come through and gone through their work.

Moving forward, we see the blonde head nurse, and a young woman asking for a young man regarding seeing a young man, named Johnson. She claims that she’s his sister, and that she is a nurse. Harry Johnson, is of course the joke here, and the lady wants to do a good deed. She said she’d wait for up to 5 hours for Harry Johnson to get out of surgery.

The scene changes and we see three nurses laughing and giggling in a hallway. They said that they should give a bath to a random guy, and that he’s a fun dude to hang with. The women come through, and we get into a room where you know it’s a set. There’s a makeshift door, a blue wall with a 2 x 4 cross beam in the background. This is a set, you can tell by the way the shots are setup, and the women come in from an outer hallway. The shadows are cast as though there are studio lights overhead and off screen, while a hard camera and director situate themselves away from the action. Immediately, one of the women takes off her white panties, and we start to move forward to what will be the next sex scene. The women approach Peter North, as he is sleeping, and they all talk about what they should do first. One of them suggests that they use their tongue to wake him up. Bionca, Lynn Franciss, and Sheena Horne are the 3 women here, and they each have small breasts, thin frames, and large 1980s hairspray hair. They are straight out of the 1980s with their style, and all are wearing the white nurses uniforms that all nurses wore back in the proverbial day. There are two blondes and two brunettes getting in on the action, and immediately get Peter North hard. The women leave North asleep, and start to make out, and then do themselves while he is asleep. North has an odd penis here, where it flops up towards him, like he was using a penis pump, and it’s not all the way hard, until he starts to rub it and bring it up straight. There’s a terrible rock soundtrack, and the camera moves in front of him stroking, classic North style. The women get naked at this point. Through the shifting of the women’s positions, we get a threesome that is somewhat slow and steady, with North not wearing a condom, and the women taking turns riding him as he wakes up from his coma. The end comes with a Peter North cum blast on two women, and that’s about it. They dubbed the moaning! That’s when I notice they dubbed the freakin moaning! This scene was fast and simple.

Joey Silvera looks like Kurt Vonnegut by the way!

After the fourway sex scene we see Joey Silvera coming through and talking about how his head hurts. He talks about how he is having a hard time dealing with certain things. He then tells the head nurse that he’s on a mission and can’t seem to find the answers. Then goes to the Johnson sister and she talks to him a little.

We then move to the locker room, or break room, so to speak. It’s where the lockers are, and we see Keisha, a busty brunette with too much makeup, and Jose Duval. Duval is a thin, older looking dude, and he immediately jumps into the scene and takes over saying he is the man that wrestles himself, nude, and starts to take his clothing off in front of Keisha. Keisha is wearing a nurses uniform, is somewhat tall, has natural breasts, and without makeup, wouldn’t look so great. The dude is older, Duval is wearing a black thong, and he starts to wrestle himself. Duval is the luckiest man in porno, because this is too funny to me. He tries to wrestle himself, before Keisha starts to rub herself. This is a low point in the movie, as you see that he wrestles himself, and he says that sometimes he loses himself. Keisha asks him if he has ever wrestled a man, and Duval said that he has never wrestled them, but he would totally wrestle her. Keisha starts to suck the old man off, and he has a hard time taking the bra off of his woman, but she continues to suck Duval in a slow, methodical manner. The old man and the woman do it doggy style, and it’s a lackluster scene with a cum shot that is not that great. Duval does not have a big penis, or anything, and the cum blast is short, before the end shows Keisha sucking him off, and then tells hi m that he is very attractive, and then we move forward. That was beyond the lowest of the low in terms of sex. Duval is hairy, skinny, and while Keisha is good here, she’s not great, and just goes through the motions.

We move along and we see a woman praying with Peter North. There’s a prayer that occurs here, with Siobhan Hunter, a tall, red haired woman that claims she is a nun in an order of certain women. She prays a little with Peter North then begins to suck him off, fully clothed, mind you, until John Leslie walks in on them. The terrible music comes in, and Leslie starts to take off her shirt. We see more of Hunter’s body, and she has long red hair, small breasts, and light skin. The music throws me off, as I try to make sense of the room, which is terribly lit this time, with a two camera model that is just bad as the editing moves through several hard cuts. During this sequences, Leslie goes from behind while Peter North gets blown while John Leslie forces Hunter to bite a condom package open, then the camera slows down for her to start having sex with North, without the condom, mind you. We then see the action, and it’s Leslie with a condom going in anal, while North goes in the other side. You get double penetration here, and the condom is so yellow, and so dark, while the sex continues, and the two men have their way with this woman. The finish shows Leslie taking off his condom, then cumming on her backside while holding the condom in the other hand, while the soft keyboard music plays, and then Leslie walks away. While Leslie goes to another bed, North is finished off, but we don’t see a a cum shot, just a hard cut as he says that the nurses are too much.

There’s a hard cut, and we see the head nurse talking to Joey Silvera as he comes through and says that she has stolen all of their uniforms. So we see the head nurse yelling at Silvera, and saying that the nun stole clothing and what not. We then see Silvera in a bath robe run away, and then ask for Linda to come through and help him. out. The movie shows Silvera talking to a nurse and just talking about adoration, and how he wants her to work with him.

We get a long shot, then into the sex, as Joey Silvera and Bionca have sex on the floor of the hospital. Continuity wise this makes little sense, and why would they have sex on the hard floor in a hospital? For goodness sakes, this has only a couple of positions, and back and forth, with Silvera trying to hang on for a short romp. Silvera is rock hard, and goes into Bionca straight way, with her legs up, and him pushing in with bad kissing. Silvera tries to kiss Bionca at the one hour mark, and it shows that she isn’t into kissing, and it throws me off a little. There is a cum shot, and a random teddy bear, yes a teddy bear in a mop bucket watching them.

After that, we end up going forward to the waiting room, where the nurses are talking to the nun. She said that she is not the inspector, and is just a nun and is waiting for her brother. She says that the women are prostitutes, and that they are nothing short of being sluts. That’s it. We then see Silvera and Bionca cuddling and that’s about it.

The last scene shows the janitor and Lois Ayres. Ayres comes into his work area and just says that he needs to be quiet and do her now. Lois Ayres is the head nurse, she’s very blonde. Ayres and Steve Henessey starts to kiss, and we get a terrible view from above. They are supposed to be in a janitor’s closet, but the makeshift walls are obviously fake, and the scene moves fast into a blow job. Lois Ayres bleach blonde hair and white pale skin allows for contrast with Steve’s dark skin. She blows him and the music intensifies, before they start to get into the sex, which isn’t too good, but hey there’s no condom here. The sex is a quicky at best, and it is heavily edited, so you only get a few pumps before Henessey cums and that’s it. It’s at this point that I think Lois Ayres is wearing a wig. The two have sex, it’s quick, and he cums and it’s not romantic at all, but then again, it doesn’t need to be. The camera barely hits penetration, and the dubbing is just so bad here, that I don’t want to see it. It slows down at the cum shot, but you don’t see it, it just slows down, and we get a hard cut.

The camera zooms in and the music starts to get louder, and we get a hard cut back to the lobby and we realize that it’s Henry Johnson not Harry Johnson, but it doesn’t matter. Silvera comes back and says he found the uniforms and then we see everyone laughing. She comes through and says that the inspection is being done by Edwin Justice, and then Duval comes through and said he’s the man that wrestles himself, and that’s it. He gets carted away, the women and the guys look at one another, and says that they all passed the inspection.

I give “Night Shift Nurses” a 2 out of 5.

This is perhaps the worse nurse themed porno movie that I’ve ever seen, and at the same time, I’m attracted to nurse movies, because I love the uniforms. It’s not a terrible movie, but it’s far from good, a 2 out of 5, as it had a good plot, but other than that, I’ll pass on a repeat viewing. But hey, why not check out "Night Shift Nurses" anyway?

Hollywood Heartbreakers (1985) Review

Hollywood Heartbreakers (1985) Poster

Before the year is over, let’s get into the world of the 1980s and see a movie that has some famous names, and some scenic backgrounds. This is a movie that ends this year with a huge bang, as you’re going to find that the stars here are from what I consider the golden era of adult cinema, even if there are others that will disagree with me. Who’s in this one? Well, let me just say, it’s one hell of a line up. The stars of this movie include, Amber Lynn, David Sanders, Beverly Bliss, Craig Roberts, Traci Lords, Tony Martino, Nicole West, Peter North, Gina Valentino, Rick Savage, and Greg Rome. This is a full scale production, with film grain, and a full theme song that sounds like The Go Gos and it’s not half bad. The director here is Mark Curtis, and the movie is from 1985, and it is called “Hollywood Heartbreakers”. So let’s dive into this classic from the golden era, as it’s one that you can’t find many places.

The movie starts with a blonde driving a BMW, and she picks up a car phone. It’s a guy named Tony and he says that she needs to get there fast. She says that she will arrive soon. That’s when the music starts to drop off a little, and we see a brunette that talks about wanting to suck off the guy named Tony. She starts to undress, showing off small breasts, red painted finger nails, red lips, light skin, and dirty talk. She talks like a woman that is having phone sex, slow and deliberate, and starts to strip off her clothes, until she shows off her pubic region, that has not been shaved at all. The music dims a bit more, and you hear her moaning a little as the camera goes up and down on the woman. The camera then switches to the driving woman, that is going up PCH in 1985, which is California, for those that don’t know.

Amber Lynn shows up at the door of David Sanders, and says that she was instructed to take care of a package. That’s when David Sanders starts to kiss her, and the porno music starts. A rock guitar riffs begin and Amber Lynn, a dirty blonde, with bright red lipstick starts to suck off Sanders from a limp starting point. The scene starts with a blow job, and full nudity, and no one is shaved here. If you’re a fan of the classics, you’ll love that the two get into 69 within 7 minutes of the movie, and Amber Lynn seems to really enjoy her work here, giving Sanders one hell of a blow job while he gives her oral on the other side, not minding the hair. Sanders isn’t huge, but he works with Lynn well enough. The camera work is bad though, the lighting is not great, and the shots of close ups are mired here and there with bad zooming in and out. The set here is a bit dark, it doesn’t look like a warehouse, but more likely a condo somewhere in the San Fernando Valley. The two go through a couple of positions, without condoms, and just go through the motions. Lynn doesn’t moan a lot, but a little here and there, and the music doesn’t fit the sex here, though I appreciate the attempt at original music. It’s not cliche at all, mind you. After some back and forth, and a bit of moaning, Sanders cannot hang on and eventually cums on Lynn’s stomach, pulling out and letting it fly, the camera slows down for it. Sanders lasts a while, but it’s not a marathon session at all. Lynn says that she takes good care of packages, and that’s it.

Next thing we see is Amber Lynn getting to a phone and saying that she needs to check in on the other girls. We see Sanders pull out some money and then put it into her purse, and that’s it. The scan ends, and then we are taken to another woman. This time around we see Traci Lords putting on make up, getting ready to meet a client, as she picks up her phone, on the sunset strip.

Before seeing any action, we get a cut scene with Beverly Bliss having sex with a random guy named Tony. Then spliced into that, is Traci Lords driving a car. I just wanted to point out that if she was so young, why is she driving on camera? She’s got one hell of a car too, and this is not stunt driving, or anything fake, it’s legit, she’s driving what appears to be a Thunderbird. She visits Tony Martino.

Before the sex starts, we get a strip tease with Lords coming down some stairs, then kissing Tony Martino. The two get fully nude and begin with a little foreplay, Martino sucking and kissing Lords’ breasts. The two are outdoors, in the backyard of a mansion, overlooking Los Angeles. Tony Martino goes down on Lords right away, and the music here is quaint, piano music. The lighting is bad, with lots of shadows, and lots of sunlight obscuring some of the natural shots. Lords moans and moves a lot here, before Tony finally puts his hardness into Lords doggy style. Martino is not a good looking guy by any stretch, mind you. At the 26 minute mark, though, the action gets faster and harder, and the music changes to a 1980s rock tune, which I appreciated. That juxtaposes Lords moaning and gyrations, which intensify as she nearly screams in pleasure. This could be the most intense scene I’ve seen with Lords in it, and Martino does his job well, ugly as he is, and the two work well enough as the music goes faster and Martino just loses himself in the situation. Martino can’t hold his load, after a quick changeover, and cums on Lords’ face and chest, then rubs himself on her after the fact. You can almost hear the director yell cut, but the two end up kissing as the final moments close on this scene, and we fade into another point. New music picks up, Lords picks up her cash, which is only 300 dollars, which is standard for an hour with a mid-range escort, right? Just saying.

We see another woman riding around in a car. We get a conference call, and it’s Tony with Traci and Nicole, and we get a little nod to “Charlies Angels” complete with music. We also see a bit of sex with the guy named Tony, and his chick, but we don’t see his face, yet. It’s just a lot of hair, and a close up of the in and out process of the sexual landscape.

The next scene shows Traci Lords and Nicole West arriving at a home in Bel Air. There’s a hard cut, and we see a darkened warehouse set, with a boring looking couch, and a flaccid Peter North hanging out naked. Lords and West go inside the home, and they start to play with North. Music kicks in, the women take their tops off, and we start to get forward progress. The sex starts with Traci Lords riding Peter North’s face, while Nicole West gives him a blow job. The two women take turns going at North at the 35 minute mark with a blow job sequence that is epic. I’m talking dual blowing, North nearly humming straight out, and the two women focusing on his member in a way that you don’t really see in modern era film. It’s like West and Lords wanted to outdo each other, or they were just into this that much, I don’t know, but this sequence is intense, and really something that elevates this movie’s rating a lot more than the previous scenes. After dual blow jobs, North gives Lords the Russian treatment, between her breasts, while West gives her oral, as the music starts to intensify with drums and 80s bravado. There’s a cool visual design flow here, with North having sex in doggy style with Lords while a chair with two hands seem to be on her breasts. If you’ve seen this, then you know! This is a very cool effect, while the background of the set has antlers everywhere, like it’s a cabin or something. North looks like he’s going to cum any second, and he really does seem to be enjoying the process with Lords, as she moans and quivers. At one point West gets in the action, and Lords gives North a rim job, then at one point it appears that West fists North at around 42 minutes. The edit shifts and goes back to straight sex with reverse cowgirl and Lords with North, but I know what I saw, it was very odd, but the director decided to cut a little of it out. If you’re a fan of natural sex, with hair, and all that jazz, you’ll like this scene, even if the lighting and set leaves something to be desired. Lords and West seem to really like each other, mind you, and North is just a willing party here, and keeps it up as long as he can. This is a lengthy scene for the 1980s, mind you. After the sex seems to get boring, North cums on the two women’s chest, and then we get splicing in some of the past sequences, and it’s all over with a nice blast from North. Not his biggest load, but a nice quality one none the less. The women squirm, the film slows down, and for whatever reason the director focuses on North’s face before we get a hard cut and a new scene.

Gina Valentino is driving, and picks up the car phone to find out that she has a date. Tony is scene having sex again, and it’s the same sequence that you got earlier.

At this point, you see that Gina is headed to Marina Del Rey California, and that’s a throw back for me, since I lived in the area for some time.

We move along and we get to a point where we see Gina Valentino stripping for Rick Savage. Savage watches on, and the two are going to be moving forward with ease. Valentino has small breasts, shoulder length, teased brunette hair, is all natural, yet has a pubic mound that is trimmed. She starts to masturbate, and Savage looks on. The two have sex, and it’s probably one of the most boring sex scenes I’ve seen in a long time. Savage looks like he is really concentrating here, and Valentino is just going through the motions, allowing her lover to just go to town. After some time in Doggy Style, Savage cums on the lower back of Valentino and that’s it, perhaps one of the most formulaic scenes I’ve ever seen, dropping the rating on this one a lot lower than the previous scene.

Up next, we see the same splicing in of sex from Tony, and we see Amber Lynn driving around. She eventually pulls up to a house, in a red dress, and talks to Greg Rome and Ron Jeremy poolside. They banter a little and then move inside.

We go inside with a hard cut, and everyone’s already nude. There’s a heavy bass line started, and a rock guitar with some nice drumming to go along, as we move in with the camera. The set here is a den from the 1980s, with bad carpeting, terrible looking couch, and of course that 1980s aesthetic in terms of filming. Rome gets blown by Amber Lynn, a tight blonde, while Ron Jeremy gives her doggy style. The thing to look out for here is the fact that Ron Jeremy is thin, and makes his penis look a lot larger, because of course it’s about 9 inches long, from what I’ve read. Either way, he is in his prime here, and he’s fit, and just goes for it with Lynn. It’s impressive to see Jeremy in his prime, not as the hedgehog later on, but rather his thin, progressive self. If you’ve read his book, then you know how hard working he was as a porno actor, director, and more. It shows here, as he steals the show here with Lynn. You get multiple positions, a threesome that lasts a while, and of course the cum shot with the crossing of swords several times, which is odd. Rome and Jeremy are big, close in size here, and Lynn tries to take them on both at the end with cum going on her face to finish things off. The music really gets good here, mind you.

We move along, and there’s a hard cut, and Amber Lynn calls in to Tony and we then see Tony’s face and the sex he’s been having, finishes up. It ends with a blow job and cum in mouth, and that’s the end of the movie. Tony is a pimp, and it’s all said and done.

I give “Hollywood Heartbreakers” a 3 out of 5.

Not even Ron Jeremy and Traci Lords can save the rest of this movie from boring me. However, Lords and Jeremy are in their prime, and if you can find this movie, good luck. It’s borderline illegal to have this. I was able to procure a copy while I was visiting Japan, and got this on Beta Max, because I’m insane. In the United States, you’ll have to get creative if you want a copy, otherwise, you cannot buy this from an affiliate or anything. Good luck.

South by Southeast (1997) Review

South by Southeast - 1997 DVD Cover

Well, I got a job. A 9 to 5 type of work, but that isn’t going to stop me from reviewing adult movies. Well, it kind of did for a while, right? Well, that’s changing soon, cause this time around we are going to be looking at the 1997 movie called, “South by Southeast” and it stars some well known people. For instance, you’ll find that this movie has Vicca, Tony Tedeschi, Brittany Andrews, TT boy, Nikita Gross, Tom Byron, Alyssa Love, Vicca, Peter North, and the director in a non sex role. The director here is Jim Enright, and the movie came out from Wicked Pictures. It’s a movie that is shot on film grain, and it is very much a Hitchcock throw back, but of course, it’s an adult movie so you have to remember that, since you may want to think of this is as high brow cinema. It’s not. But it’s also not a gonzo movie either, so if you’re the type that likes to watch full adult film, this is going to be one that will interest you. Without further run up, let’s talk about this 1997 big box vhs release of “South by Southeast” from Wicked Pictures.

The movie starts out with Tom Byron running around with a gun and a silencer. Meanwhile, there’s a villain that says he won’t come out! This bit of acting is a great starting point, and there’s a bit of comedy, and good acting here. The editing is top notch, and the set is a warehouse setting with a gun wielding Byron trying to get his man. Meanwhile, outside, we see Vicca and her Russian accent with a blonde haired woman. The two talk about how they have been taken advantage of, and that they are tired of working in the adult world. The two women here have Russian accents, mind you. Then out comes the two guys that we saw initially, running through a parking lot in the valley, and just playing “cops and robbers” with a funny looking gun. Byron goes around trying to shoot his man, and ends up finding a field guide for spies. He starts to read it, and it shows some information about what his next goal is, and the camera follows right behind him. Byron is in a suit that doesn’t fit him, and we see the credits begin.

The credits roll, finish, and we get moving into the movie. We see Tom Byron getting a review from his boss, which is played by TT Boy. The two get into an argument about how bad Byron’s work is, and TT Boy is great here. The set here is more than just a random porno set, mind you, and that’s something great in regards to the budget of course. In comes a very busty woman, with a thin waist, and tanned body. She’s decked out in latex, and she’s got very large breasts. She has blonde hair, and comes in and talks about some new case. She says that Nikita is the next person that they need to get, and Byron doesn’t want to do it at first. They are trying to scam Nikita and Vicca to catch them. This setup is great, and not too bad.

We then get a flash of the Hollywood Hotel, which are not apartment buildings with studios in them. I know this, because I once met an escort there, and we discussed the tech world, etc. Anyways, the scene shifts, and we see Vicca and a blonde talking, with the blonde nude, and the two just talking about working in porn, etc. This is not sexy. The set here is a hotel room, and it’s not bad, it’s just a random set. We see the blonde go forward with moving to a set, and she meets up with Tom Byron at a mansion, dressed in heels, and a nice skirt. She has blonde, curly hair, and it’s not a bad thing. Byron ties her up, and well, we get moving into the plot. There’s no sex in this adult movie for the first 10 minutes, mind you, it’s all story.

The movie progresses and we see Tony Tedeschi dressed up like a maid, and he gets into the room of Vicca and talks about how he’s a spy. There’s some music that starts, and Vicca asks Tony Tedeschi to prove that he’s a man! This is the studio set that’s supposed to be a hotel room. It looks like a motel set in a warehouse, and nothing too complex. Your lighting is coming from overhead, although there’s lamps and cheap furnishings in place, however, the lighting and shadows are coming from studio lights, and it shows. At the 14 minute mark we start the sex. Vicca is a red headed, thin, Russian porno star with C cup size breasts, is 5 foot 10, and light skin. Tedeschi isn’t huge, but he’s a mainstay in 1990s porno movies. Vicca has red heels in this, and she pulls herself naked fast, with Tony and her kissing a great deal as the movie progresses into sex. The camera gets in close for this, and the two seem to have a little chemistry as the foreplay continues. Vicca and Tony work through a couple of positions, nothing too crazy, and he has a condom on. He finishes on her pubic region, and she moans a bit through the process. The scene doesn’t last long, and as far as sex is concerned, it works, but it’s not grand at all. If you’re a big fan of Vicca, then you’ll love to see her moaning and enjoying Tony’s thrusts, as he picks it up to a fast pace at 23 minutes. He can’t hold on though, and cums with Vicca squirming a bit, and the camera going in close. It must be rough to not go back in after cumming, but it happens, and Vicca and Tony kiss a little before he gets his maid’s uniform back on. Tony has a fake English accent, and Vicca tells him that Nikita is not a spy or anything that they need to worry about.

Next we see an interesting play on visual design flow. We see TT Boy and Tom Byron talking again, this time they bring in the blonde. There’s a point where the movie shifts to show you an African safari, with the blonde being the prey that has been captured, but that moves back to the regular office, and we see discussions about why she’s captured, mainly as bait for their main goal, Nikita. As the scene changes, we are still in an office set, and TT Boy says that he’s tense, and needs some relief, which means he’s going to get some, right? Yep!

The next sex scene features TT Boy and Brittany Andrews. Andrews is a tall blonde haired woman with large breasts, and a thin waist. TT Boy pulls his pants down and Brittany Andrews starts to suck him off, with the music starting, and TT Boy getting hard as a rock for this sex scene. Andrews here gives a passionate blow job before TT Boy puts on a condom and starts to have sex in the office setting. The office looks like your average private eye looking spot, so it’s nothing too extreme. I could totally see this with 3 walls in a warehouse from Wicked, and recycled from other sets. There’s an interesting lighting element behind the two, and you can tell it’s not a “real office”, so to speak, it’s a nice setup none the less. Andrews augmented breasts are nice, she has a pubic piercing, and has a nearly shaved pubic mound when TT Boy gets started, condom already on. I never understood why they didn’t use lubed condoms, this one is dry, and it shows. It’s a magnum, as I can tell from the latex, and if you’re a fan of big breasts, Andrews moans and seems to enjoy things as the director shows you across several different angles. My personal favorite element of this sex scene is that Andrews wears black heels as TT Boy goes faster and faster around the 36 minute mark. In a close up angle of the penetration, from underneath, you see the warehouse ceiling, breaking the illusion that is occurring, but hey, who cares, right? Me! The heels and Andrew’s large breasts and TT Boy’s cum shot makes this one worthwhile, and definitely one of the better scenes in the movie. IT definitely got me heated.

Nikita Gross is a tall, skinny, dirty blonde, and she is taller than Tom Byron. She has a Russian accent here, and it should be noted that this is not Nikita Denise, it’s a blonde that reminds me a little of Phoebe from Friends mixed with an old boss that I used to work with. Byron and Nikita start to kiss, and there’s a soft piece of music playing underneath them. This is at the mansion that we saw previously, and it’s well lit, well designed, and has some really cool decor. The Elvis painting for instance in the hallway is really cool, and while the main focal point of the director’s movements goes to sex, I can’t help but notice the decor on this set. Tom Byron starts things off by giving Nikita oral, her pubic area not shaved completely, and his tongue working through the gyrations and wetness that proceeds. When the blow job starts, you really get a feeling for Nikita’s performance, as she really puts on a show. IN fact, it’s one of the best blow job starting points that I’ve seen in a long time, and one that you may want to book mark if you stumble across it. I’d suggest buying this movie just for that, as Nikita really makes the fantasy come alive. There are a lot of different positions here, mostly for the camera, mind you, and around the 50 minute mark, Byron unloads a cum shot that gets in Nikita’s hair, and mouth, but it’s not a big load. She sucks him off after the cum shot, and that elevates this movie to all new levels.

Nikita at this point asks if she’s going to get let go, since she’s a prisoner, remember? Anyways, Byron says, no, and the story continues. Mind you, this is 50 minutes into the movie. Nikita says, “I had sex with you”, and he says, well we are running out of time, so we need to hurry along and squeeze in more sex.

We are taken to a warehouse set again, this time it’s Peter North in fatigues. He’s at a desk at a government building, and he starts to talk. He lights a cigar with a joke looking bomb and he’s called Colonel Mustard. In comes Agent Orange and Vicca. There’s a joke here, as North threw a cartoon looking bomb and it blew up in Agent Orange’s room. However, Vicca comes in wearing a see through dress, and North spews his lines. Orange is played by Tony Tedeschi here, and the three talk about how Nikita got kidnapped, for mistaken identity. Vicca here is so hot, I can’t stand it. Had I not had to maintain professional integrity, I’d be stopping this review to enjoy the following sequence. Peter North asks for inspiration, and Alyssa Love comes in to help, which of course is a signal for sex, right? You know it.

Alyssa Love has a blonde streak in her brunette hair, and Peter North gets her to sit on his lap. She has a black thong on, and starts to undress, meanwhile, Vicca and Tony Tedeschi sits on a black couch. After a little movement, we get a shot that moves away to show the rest of the set, which is a 3 wall brick walled office. Alyssa Love has black heels on, making her look taller than she is, and is completely shaved. Tony Tedeschi starts things off by giving oral to Alyssa Love, a stunning beauty, but with a zit on the outside area of her anus and vagina. Now, when I was on sets in the past, they would use make up, but with Tony Tedeschi’s tongue is lapping it all up, so he doesn’t care, but as a viewer, I’m a little turned off, just saying. In real life, I wouldn’t care, but as an art form, come on! This scene has a four way with Alyssa Love, Vicca, Peter North and Tony Tedeschi, and it’s really good. North gets blown by Vicca while Love gives her oral, and Tony continues with Love, so you get a good mix of oral to start this off, all on the classic black couch of porno worlds. The sex begins, and of course it is all with condoms on as usual. Vicca and Peter North go for it first, and the camera lets you in on the back and forth. If you wanted a lesson in safe sex, here you go. While Vicca and Peter North have sex using a condom, Tony and Alyssa Love don’t, so the camera moves around little showing you examples of safer sex and straight forward doggy style with no condom at all. The moans and groans get heated at the 1 hour mark, and the camera shows you the penetration fully, making this an interesting little flick. After a bit of moaning and back and forth, we see the two guys cum on the faces of the actresses, and it’s not half bad, but it’s not great either. Syncrhonizing summing is tough, and I expected a Peter North cum blast, as I see Alyssa Love’s tongue ring, but as Tony finishes, and Vica blows him, North blasts Love in the face, and it’s quite good overall, which is an interesting sequence, and then Vicca starts to help him get off again, while Love sucks him off.

The next thing that you are going to notice about this movie is that it follows up all of this male on female action by giving you a lesbian scene with Nikita and Brittany Andrews. The two have sex outside, and they use their tongues, hands, and the camera plays on the more "playboy" type of scene, with soft lighting, even for outdoors, and it's not really that intense at first, but over time it became better and better. If you're a fan of lesbian scenes, then you'll love this one. Nikita and Brittany Andrews in a lesbian scene? You know what you're in for here, as it's outdoors and it's well lit, overlooking a good view.

After the scene, we get back to the story, and the end of the movie showcases some comedic gun play, and the final moments of mistaken identity, catching the bad girls, and lots of comedic one liners that are just bad. If you're a completionist of porno movies, then you'll love the story going into the final stages without any sex, and giving you a complete script. It's fine, but it abandons the source material long before this ever concludes. They tried, right? Of course.

I give "South By Southeast" a 3 out of 5. 

There are two great sex scenes here, and the foursome was good, even if there is an odd point where Peter North looks over at what Tony Tedeschi is doing harking back to his Matt Ramsey days. Overall, 3 out of 5 is the best I can give this overall.

This movie is available for streaming, and downloading and you can get "South by Southeast" by clicking here. 

The Pillowman (1988) Review

Pillowman Poster (1988) 

Today we are going back to a John Leslie directed movie. This movie in particular was released by VCA, and stars some major people. I’m going to say, that the diverse cast alone is one reason to see it, and the second? Well, the second is the fact that I used to see a lot of this poster around my local rental store. You see, I didn’t go to Blockbuster, I went to Asian owned video stores, and they would always have a well stocked porno section behind red curtains. So, I would see “The Pillowman” posters every time I went in, and never got to see the movie, until today. Today, we are going back in time to 1988, for a movie directed by John Leslie, and starring lots of great names, including the following. Chanel Price, Peter North, Brandy Wine, Tammy Reynolds, Joey Silvera, Aja, F.M. Bradley, Renee Morgan, Tony Montana, and Britt Morgan. Now that we know what movie we are reviewing, of course titled The Pillowman, and we know the stars, let’s get into this movie from 1988 to the future!

The first thing that I liked was the font and titles shown for the movie. The movie starts with the title and then runs the credits, and we see a man with a letter jacket from high school, snooping around a home. He has a flash light, and we see him just looking around, obviously trying to be inconspicuous, as he wants to rob the place. The lights abruptly come on, and standing there is a blonde with a revolver. She asks, “what do you think you’re doing?”, and it’s Peter North with his hands up, and a gun to his chest! Chanel Price is holding the gun, has her hair up, and full makeup. She’s taller than Peter North, but maybe cause she has heels on. North says nothing, as a gun is on him, and Price starts to grab him, and see if he’s packing, to which she is surprised, cause she feels his penis. She pulls down North’s pants, and honestly, it’s not that big. It’s flaccid. It’s a little penis. But of course, that leads to sex.

Chanel Price, a tall, milf looking blonde, in a white dress starts to blow Peter North from a flaccid state to get him hard, and he grows fast. Fully erect, Peter North has been said to be very thick, and big, and of course we all know about his epic cum shots. I recall that Jenna Jameson states in her book that he was the first major porn star to open her up and really cause some pain, cause he was so big. Here, he’s the right size for Price, as she starts to strip him and get him to a point of sexual conquest. Chanel Price is a big girl, she’s tall, amazon features, large breasts, and is completely shaved. She towers over North, and goes into reverse cow girl to start. The set here screams 1980s, with a lot of bad drapes, terrible furnishings, rugs, and what appears to be a den in your uncle’s basement. Music kicks in as the two start to have sex, and it’s not that great. Price takes over the whole way, and she is truly a big, tall, girl. Looking up some info, I found out that Chanel Price is 6 foot 3 inches tall, and she totally looks it here, towering over Peter North. However, she gets into the sex, and if you are a fan of both tall blonde women, and Peter North, you’re going to love this one. The sex goes forward and eventually Price gives North a blow job until he cuts in her face, and that’s the end.

After the sex, Price says that she recognizes North as The Pillowman! He then tries to talk to her a little, and eventually gives up, and goes home. We then see North walking around the city, just chillin. It seems to be Los Angeles in the late 1980s. He walks into a pawn shop, and he just waits in line as we see people bargaining, and he gets yelled at for not paying up. It’s not a pawn shop, after all, it’s an apartment building and he is scolded for not paying the rent. We then see North talking to his roommate in a bad apartment, and it’s a random old guy. I though tit was Silvera, and of course he is an icon of good porn acting. However, the mood shifts as we are taken to another set, this is a warehouse porn set, and that’s where we see a couple of women making out.

The two women are Brandy Wine and Tammy Reynolds. One blonde and one brunette, and the two are making out, as Joey pulls out his penis and starts to masturbate. The women here are voluptuous, all natural breasts, big 1980s style hair, not shaved, and Joey has his fro and he’s stroking it. He then joins the action. We get close ups of Brandy Wine, Tammy Reynolds, and Joey Silvera getting into the sex. There’s some great jazz music for this scene. The set is terribly lit, and looks like your average porn garage in the valley, with a brown couch. There are no condoms here, it’s the 1980s, and Joey gets into it fast, first getting into the brunette, and really just going along the motions of sex. There’s some bad shadows here and there, and you can see the boom mic at one point, but the whole thing is casually filmed, with a focus on the action at times, and at other time, the women’s breasts. Nothing too fancy here, mind you. At the 32 minute mark, Silvera cups onto the brunette’s pubic mound, and then immediately gets back up and goes back into her! Silvera is a golden god for this, as I haven’t seen this since TT Body did it with Jenna Jameson, he gets a few more minutes of stroke before he cums again, and the refractory period of his work is incredible on this scene. Wow, Silvera pulls off a stellar scene elevating this movie’s rating from 1 out of 5 to a 3 out of 5 just for that sequence.

Moving along, we end up with another moment in time. We see Peter North styling his hair, and he’s in a random warehouse set. He then appears at a random house, and talks to a dude. The set changes and we are in a den somewhere in Los Angeles. Aja comes down, and F.M. Bradley is on the other side of the den watching. Aja is a brunette, her hair is up, she has a 1980s look and feel to her, and immediately gets on her knees to suck off Peter North. Aja has natural breasts, and has this amazing look to her. She’s quite hot here, and North looks like he’s going to pop within a few minutes, but controls it a little. There’s no loud music here, but rather Aja moaning, and North staying in control, while the camera moves left to right, and zooms in and out at times. The shadows from the lighting are horrible here, and the brown couch is funny to me. Midway through the sex, Bradley shows up, fully naked, and gets asked to join the party. Bradley is a large black man, and Aja gives him a hand job, then puts a diaper on him, no joke! No joke! Then she puts a pacifier in his mouth! Then Aja returns to North for doggy style. After some back and forth, North cums on her butt, as Bradley watches, and that’s the end. Nothing too crazy here, but Aja is quite the beauty, as this is the first time I’ve seen her work. The mid point diaper change was really odd though. North asks her out, then Bradley gets mad and asks him to get out of his house and not to ask his wife out! Wow.

Bradley then takes off his diaper, and asks Aja to suck him off. Aja sucks Bradley off, as he spouts one liners and jokes, including “I have some wonton soup!”, and it’s funny to see. He doesn’t get all hard, but he gets a medium amount before he gets into Aja for some sex on the brown couch. He doesn’t last that long, less than 5 minutes, for a quickie and that’s it. I was surprised by how long the scene lasted, which was horrendously slow. He cums on her breasts, and that’s it. We are moving away to the final two scenes, and it’s been around 48 minutes at this point.

The movie’s plot continues, and now we are taken to a brothel of sorts, and we see Tony Montana and Renee Morgan get involved. There’s some nice jazz in this one, and that supersedes everything else. Renee Morgan is a skinny, brunette, with small breasts, and is supposed to be latin here, as Montana speaks Spanish one liners, and gets really into the sex. I mean, she’s more into it than anyone else in this movie, and that makes it great. Renee Morgan sucks off Tony Montana then goes into doggy style while wearing a Spanish hat. The two have sex for a while, and it’s not terrible, but it’s also nothing that I would want too see again. In the mean time, Joey Silvera is talking to what I can only assume is Britt Morgan and then starts to make out with her. Meanwhile, Peter North keeps asking about his free trip that Silvera promised him, and the camera goes back and forth to the sex. After some back and forth here, Montana ends up cumming onto Renee’s pubic region, which is not shaved. That scene ends, and we are taken back to North’s apartment.

The story moves forward, and we see Britt Morgan and Peter North talking at a bus stop. The movie’s plot thickens as North hasn’t paid rent at all, and then is invited to hang out with Morgan. Britt Morgan has large hair, she’s all blonde, and comes out wearing a nighty that is lace, and white. She does not have the most attractive face, it’s round, and somewhat unattractive, with a “baby” type of look, but she has a nice body, and well, she rides North’s literal head. That is funny, and she does have natural breasts. The set here is a random porn warehouse, and North can’t help but laugh at the beginning of this scene. I’ve never seen a woman literally ride a dude’s head and comment on his hair. Hair fetish? Is that a thing?

Peter North sits down on a faded brown couch, and Britt Morgan gets to work. She starts to suck him off, and he gets hard immediately. I don’t find Morgan that attractive, mind you, but honestly, she has good technique here. She moans a bit as they change positions, but Peter North is in robot mode. The jazz soundtrack is great here, and I liked that. However, the sex isn’t that great, and eventually North cums on Morgan’s shaved pubic region, and stomach, and that’s that. If you’re into blondes, perhaps you’ll like her, but this is a short scene that is spliced with other elements of the story line.

The plot continues to move forward, and we see that North and his friend get evicted. Then North gets into fatigues, and gets thrown out of a window, onto a deck and that’s it. This movie has a plot at first, then completely throws it out of the window, and well, it’s porn, so what did you expect, right?

I give “Pillowman” a 3 out of 5.

This is not a great movie, but I loved the production value, the non sex roles, the random jokes, and the attention to some finer details here and there. The women are pretty, and there’s at least one good sex scene that I’d watch again, just to see the double cum blast from Silvera, which is god like if you ask me.

The Time Machine (1996) Review

The Time Machine (1996) Cover 

Ok, so it takes a little while to keep coming back to this, but hey, I’m here and we are going to be discussing a high budget movie for a change. This time around, let’s focus on a movie that came out in 1996. This is a movie that was directed by Jace Rocker, and was distributed by Wicked Pictures. The movie was shot on film, has a lot of props, and different actors that were great for the time. The movie stars Serenity, Jonathan Morgan, Ruby, Alex Sanders, Mitchell Grant, Tatiana, Peter north, Colt Steel, Sindee Coxx, Davia Ardell, and Tracy Love. The title of this movie, from 1996 is, “The Time Machine”.

The movie starts with Jonathan Morgan and Serenity walking around a mansion. Morgan’s grandfather have left him an interesting home, and the two start walking around the home to figure out what is going on from the past. They end up going through an old lab, and that’s where Morgan finds a letter. He reads the letter out loud as he walks around Serenity, and the two start talking about time travel according to Einstein. The two are great actors here, and I’ve always said that Morgan has been good in the movies that I’ve seen him in. The two start to look for the machine’s components and how to use it, then they uncover it. It’s not too unlike the H.G. Wells version, mind you. There’s a lot of attention o details on the set here, the sound design, the acting, the script, and the introduction. To the point that Morgan doesn’t have sex with Serenity right away. The build up of this movie features a lot of build up, and Morgan reads the letter, and discovers the machine and more. After Morgan reads that he has been given 1 million dollars in gold, Serenity perks up and, and says that there’s something that makes her quite horny about money, and so the two begin to undress.

Serenity and Jonathan Morgan start to undress, and Serenity goes for a blow job right away. Serenity has a girl next door look to her, with dirty brownish blonde hair, and perky, young breasts. Morgan looks like your average joe, a teacher even, and the two start things off with making out, before Serenity gets on her knees to give a blow job. The camera follows them nicely, and there’s a soft jazz tune that plays, with a minor bass tune. The camera blocks things as if this were made for cable, but eventually you get hardcore, because you know, that’s what I review on this site. Serenity blows Morgan until he cums, and he’s not that large, and doesn’t have a lot of semen, so if you were expecting a large cum shot, you didn’t get it here. However, Serenity’s skills does well enough to get him to cum, so if you’re a fan of just pure blow job scenes, then you’ll appreciate Serenity’s dedication. Although, Morgan doesn’t seem to get quite hard for a while, so maybe that’s why the scene gets cut short.

During the blow job, something gets kicked on, and the two end up going through time, as Morgan can’t figure out what is going on. There’s a bit of B-footage playing, and you get a mix of different b-level backgrounds as the two end up going to a wild west area. The two figure out that they are in 1882. They just sit there and argue, and discuss how they are going to get back to their own time, while Serenity gives Morgan some guff for getting them lost.

The movie progresses, and we see a wardrobe change for the two, playing up the wild west theme. The two get involved with a couple of outlaws, before running off to try and protect themselves from getting hurt. Meanwhile, we are introduced to Ruby, Alex Sanders and Mitchell Grant in a saloon that turns into a sex scene. Ruby here looks like a prostitute from the old west, while the guys wear western garb. The saloon set is good, with wooden floors, and a lot of background elements that make you get into the scenario quite well. There’s a tune that plays behind the action, and it’s not half bad, with Ruby getting naked first, and on her knees, blowing both Sanders and Grant immediately. The two waste no time getting hard, and while they aren’t huge, Ruby does a great deal of work to get them excited. There are no condoms here, and Ruby yells a great deal, cums, and is really loud at the 30 minute mark, which made it difficult for me to continue my review. The two take turns having sex with Ruby, although the scene isn’t that long. By the 30 minute mark, however, Ruby cums hard, and one of the actors cums a great deal on her pubic region, and rubs it all in, making for an interesting ending.

After this scene we are taken to a tent, and inside is Peter North wearing Native American garb, and a woman is with him. The woman is named Tatiana, and North is supposed to be a Native American here. Tatiana gets on her knees and starts to blow Peter North, with an instrumental tune in the background, and it’s very much supposed to resemble Native Americans having sex, although Peter North is circumcised, so there ya go. Tatiana is a Latin looking woman with black hair, and large breasts, with a great deal of curves. The two go through the motions of sex well enough, and North just lets her pound against him in doggy style to start things off. It’s not a great scene, but if you’re a fan of Peter North, then you’ll know his style, and it’s not always passionate, as much as it is adequate for the cameras. At the 38 minute mark, however, North really starts to push things, and gets Tatiana to scream a bit. She looks a little like Brie or Nikki Bella to be honest, so if you know who they are, then you may like the scene. Things go into anal towards the end of the scene, with a full focus on reverse doggy style, and after a few minutes, you get another classic Peter North cum blast, and if you’re a fan of those, then you’ll know what to expect as he unleashes all over Tatiana’s face and chest.

After the scene, we see Jonathan Morgan talking to Peter North, and if you’re someone that is upset with racism or cultural appropriation, then you’ll hate what you see here. It’s somewhat racial in nature, but it’s a porno as well. Morgan is funny, and he’s great at using the strict, with North doing some straight man gimmickry. Morgan is great though. He gets Serenity and then takes off the western wear, and then gets on the time machine and gets sent to the Roman Empire.

In Rome, we see the Time Machine land with Morgan and Serenity. They think it’s 1996, but it’s not, it’s 196, and the two start to argue again. The two put on Roman gear, and say that they want to go back to Egypt. Things go sour but one of the Roman soldiers that finds them starts to talk to Serenity long enough to get her to go back to his home, mainly a bedroom.

Serenity starts to unrobe, and is in the presence of Colt Steel, which looks cut, and has a beard. He has long hair, and looks every bit the part that you’d expect a Roman soldier to be. He’s ripped, he has a somewhat large penis, and Serenity blows him immediately. What really breaks the mood here is that Steel wears a condom, so you know that attention to the details gets thrown out the window. Aside from that, however, the set here is a candle lit area, with roman style drapes, carpeting and more. Throughout that, Serenity starts to ride starting with cowgirl, and moans a great deal to begin. This is not a passionate love making session mind you, it’s fast paced, and gets to the meat of things quickly, with Serenity really getting pounded. The Roman Soldier goes through various positions with Serenity, and it’s a sexy scene, that is fast, and eventually garners cum on the back of Serenity. This is not the best scene in the world, but if you’re a fan of Serenity, then you’ll like how it turns out, with her in multiple positions, moaning and cumming.

After this, Morgan and Serenity get back to the time machine and they go into the future. The future is where they end up as an experiment, mainly Serenity on a slab talking to an alien. Then comes in a woman played by Sindee Coxx and they start to make out. Sindee Coxx and Serenity go through a lesbian sex scene. The backdrop here is a futuristic space medical lab, and it’s a good set. Coxx is a tall, blonde haired, somewhat skinny woman, and looks very much California, if you know what I mean. Serenity and her work together well, with moaning, oral, fingers, and more. The majority of the scene is spent with oral and fingers that’s for sure, and they seem to get into it, which is always nice to see with lesbian sex scenes.

The movie then shows off Jonathan Morgan and he’s in the caveman times. He ends up talking to Davia Ardell, and Tracy Love. These are two very thin, very small women. They make a few jokes and then Morgan is asked to get on a bed for them. They rip off his clothes and then he gets hard, and the two end up having sex with him. Davia Ardell, Tracy Love, and Jonathan Morgan start to have sex, and it’s a stone age setting, with some good lighting. Love and Ardell are petite women, one with enhanced breasts, but both wearing black hair wigs. They immediately get Morgan hard and start with a dual blow job sequence. This is the most mechanical sex scene, with the women moaning in robotic tones, and Morgan just going through the motions, trying not to cum too fast. Visually, this is ok, but honestly, it’s lackluster performance makes it somewhat boring, and mechanical. Those that have had casual sex and just went through the motions will recognize this first hand, with just boredom. There’s a small cum blast, and he wants to get out of there before a dinosaur gets him.

The scene ends and Morgan wants to go back to his time. He gets back to his time machine and starts to wonder how he can get Serenity back again. At the end, Morgan goes to the future, and rescues Serenity from the aliens, and then flies away, with an explosion that leaves them back at the old mansion, and that’s the end of the movie. A sci-fi twisting porno, with some good acting, good sets, and some mediocre sex here and there. Serenity is hot at times, Morgan’s acting is great, and the effects are good for a porno.

I give “Time Machine” a 4 out of 5.

One bad scene aside, this is a well put together porno, with some good moments, including a few elements that made me want to stop reviewing and do other things, so that’s always a plus. It’s not a great one, but it has a lot going for it, all things considered, so it’s definitely a 4 out of 5 effort.

If you're inclined to purchase adult movies, make sure that you pick up "The Time Machine" on DVD or stream it HERE!

Ginger Lynn The Movie (1988) Review

Gnger Lynn The Movie (1988) 

You didn’t think I abandoned this blog did you? I know I took a little break, but I’m back, and my first movie on this return is a movie that is actually a bit of a compilation. It came out in 1988, and I cannot confirm that this ever played on the big screen or not. It’s a movie that compiled a lot of footage from Paradise Visuals, the company that did a lot with Traci Lords. The original cut of this movie does have Traci Lords in it, mind you, but of course you know that it’s hard to get movies with her in them. While I am able to get them when I go overseas, I cannot get them in the United States, as they were supposed to be thrown out. Anyways, in 1988, a movie came out called, “Ginger Lynn: The Movie” and it features scenes that include all Ginger Lynn. If you’re a fan of Lynn’s early work, then you’re going to love this one, because it is all about Ginger, which is always nice. Even today, Ginger Lynn looks amazing, and well, let’s consider this movie and how it all comes through.

The opening scene is from the movie, “The Young Girls” which came out in 1984. I reviewed that one, I think, and if not, well, you can seek that one out. The scene features Ginger Lynn and John Holmes. The two start in an office and talk a little before Ginger Lynn takes off her clothes and presents herself nude to John Holmes. John Holmes starts with oral on Ginger Lynn. Lynn here is young, tan, blonde, and has small breasts. She’s still new in the industry, and it shows, allowing for distinct vibes from Holme’s oral delivery. After some initial oral, Lynn gets on her hands and knees and sucks off John Holmes. If you’re not aware of who he is, you’ll find that he’s huge, and his penis here is on full display, and it’s before he lost all the weight and looked like a drug addict. This is early Holmes, and it’s fascinating on one hand, and odd in another. Lynn works well with the large size. After some solo work, masturbation, and close ups with no music, mind you, Holmes cums on her face and that’s it. Nothing major here, no sex, just a blow job and a finish.

For the second scene, we see Ginger Lynn in a bedroom pleasing herself slowly for the camera. There’s saxophone jazz music playing, and it’s an average scene, nothing spectacular. It’s a short one, but it works in a very “Playboy” soft kind of way, but it still has some hardcore elements to it, so don’t let that fool you. It’s Ginger Lynn, masturbating, that’s it.

There’s a sequence that features Harry Reems, and the two kiss at one point, but it’s tame, and nothing really to report. It’s a futuristic looking scene where the two kiss in a box, and that’s it. Reems is then seen talking to Harry Reems, and the two just talk about the scene that they were working in. Reems takes Lynn back to his apartment and the two start to make out on a bed that looks like a 1980s bedroom. The camera cuts and Lynn immediately starts to blow Reems. She’s fully naked now and the two start with 69. The sex here has no music to it, and it’s just Reems and ginger, sweating, making out, and going through several motions of sexual intercourse. It’s semi-fast at times, but mostly it has a lot of kissing and slow moving sex, with Ginger moaning here and there, and nothing too complex. There’s a money shot that they slow down, and that’s it.

The next scene features Peter North driving a car, and he’s simply going to meet with Giner Lynn at this point. He is thin, wears a suit, and is visiting Ginger at a random house.

It’s here that the camera cuts and we see Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon making out, nude, and then starting to work with a lesbian sequence. There’s punk rock music in the background, and the set is terribly lit, with a bit too much orange lights. The bedroom is mired by late 1980s covers, and the two women are the epitome of porn from the 1980s. Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn go through the motions of lesbian sex here, and it’s not bad, all with Peter North just watching. The film grain is terrible here, and the two women just seem to work ok together, doing what you’d expect. Oral, fingers, and scissoring for the most part.

The scene ends, and we hard cut to Ginger Lynn moaning loudly as she’s getting plowed by Tom Byron. This scene is from another movie, and it’s not half bad. This is average at best, and it’s very short, only a few minutes, and Byron cums on her back. It’s so fast that you won’t even time to get hard.

The scene gets cut, and we are taken to an orgy scene that features, Crystal Breeze, Ginger Lynn, Sheri St. Clair, David Sanders, Eric Edwards, Marc Wallice, Peter North, and Tom Byron. This scene has some music to it, and it doesn’t just focus on one girl, it focuses on all of them. If you like orgy scenes, then you may like this one. For me, it’s boring because the camera keeps shifting and the sex is just somewhat formulaic, and clumsy for the most part. The editing isn’t that good, but the music kind of neat. Ginger Lynn does put in a good performance, considering she’s not the main focal point of the whole scene, and does in fact moan a lot, but her moaning gets lost with other women in the scene.

There’s another hard cut and we go to Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Sheri St. Clair, and Tom Byron engaging in a sexual escapade. They are all nude and there’s nothing to this scene, but the girls kissing and going at it with Tom. They are all brunettes and there’s no GINGER, and the editing here is horrendous. The camera shows you more of the facial features than anything else.

The next scene is throw into good measure, and it features Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn having sex with Jamie Gillis. This is another short scene, but it’s one that is quite good if you like Canyon and Lynn together. Gillis is a lucky man here, aging, and somewhat simple in his look, but he manages to get both women aroused and gets involved with each one, sans condom. There’s a heavy bass line here, and at some points Canyon looks into the camera, but it ends with a money shot onto Canyon and Lynn’s back. Gillis looks like a creepy uncle here too.

The scene fades to black and we see Peter North and Ginger Lynn talking by a lake. The two go forward to a deck chair and start to engage in sex. Ginger Lynn starts to blow Peter North, and out comes Christy Canyon, wanting to jump in as well. Ginger Lynn, Christy Canyon, and Peter North start to have outdoor sex, and the film grain is horrendous, the lighting is bad, and the camera has to fight shadows everywhere. This scene doesn’t last too long, mind you, and by the time North starts to get one of the actresses to moan, he cums, and that’s that.

I give “Ginger Lynn The Movie” a 2 out of 5.

Look, I love Ginger Lynn, and I’ve seen her in a lot of movies, but this is not a great one. Inf act, it’s a bad compilation that promises 9 scenes and possibly some bonuses, and it’s awful. I could see this being a video store rental, and that’s it for a quick ride. However, there’s no story here, it’s spliced from other movies, and the editing is beyond horrendous, which is why I can’t recommend this for anything else than for observation and history. Other than that, collectors are the only ones that will want this one, not the average porn consumer.

Pickup Lines 2 (1995) Review

Pickup Lines #2 (1995) DVD Cover 

We are going back in time again, but this time it’s not too far away from our previous route. This time around we are going to be moving towards a series that I’ve covered in the past, and honestly don’t really care for, and that’s something that I’ve stated many times on this blog. I am not a fan of gonzo productions, and one of the major gonzo features that kept getting released was that of the Pickup Lines series. This option from 1995 was directed by Tom Stone and distributed by Odyssey, and no doubt hit a lot of rental stores and you may have even bought it. I picked this up only because there were scenes that I had to check out with Lori Michaels and Jill Kelly. So let’s focus on this release from 1995, as it is called, “Pickup Lines 2”. The stars of this movie include Demi Fairbanks, Peter North, Jill Kelly, Vince Vouyer, Alex Dane, Nici Sterling, Wilde Oscar, Goldie Star, Kim Kitaine, Ceran Morris, Felecia, Lori Michaels, Sean Rider, Ed Powers, Taboo, and Nicole Jefferson.

If you know what a gonzo movie is, then you know what to expect from the story line of this series of releases. If you’re not familiar with that term, then you should know that this is something that doesn’t necessarily have a story to it, but rather just a bunch of random scenes that are thrown together for the purpose of making a porno release. A lot of today’s web series and more often work within the confines of gonzo, which is not my favorite genre, but I recognize is as a resource for pornographic involvement, which is something that is going to be part of the larger scope of this blog, eventually. I can’t only stick to story lines, as I’ll run out sooner than later, so here’s some more gonzo for the people that want pure sexual gratification.

This was the first introduction to Lori Michaels, which got a different credit. The music was produced by Dr. Shears, it was edited by Miles Long, and it is the second in a series of probably hundreds of gonzo pictures.

The movie starts after the credits and we see random sequences from the porno that is to come. You see a few slow motion elements and you see what you are going to be detailing with the sex, and it’s not bad. The music is calm, then you are interspliced with B-footage and you really get a feel for what is to come next.

The movie starts in a vacation destination with Demi Fairbanks and Peter North. They are simply on vacation and walking around before they get to a roof top near a beach house and then start to make out. The start here has Peter North giving oral to Demi Fairbanks, and away we go within the first 10 minutes there’s oral. Demi Fairbanks is an attractive woman with large breasts, a tan, medium length hair, a brunette and has minimal sounds to start. The two are outdoors on a balcony overlooking the beach. After some oral from North, Fairbanks gets on her knees while some soft music plays. The two are in swimsuits then nude, and the music is boring. The camera cuts in, but the visual design is interrupted by the shadows and lack of secure elements from the sun. The two go through the motions of sex, and then go into the house. There they get on the bed and start to work out some stress with several positions. The positions are standard, and Peter North doesn’t wear a condom. Demi Fairbanks barely makes any noise, and the two go at it for a good amount of time before North eventually just strokes it until he cums on her face. It’s a lackluster scene with little to no chemistry between the two. When North cums, Demi Fairbanks looks away and puts her hand up noticeably not into this at all, and really takes away from the scene.

There is a blooper here! At one point Demi Fairbanks around the 17 minute mark tries to cover her face and even tries to avoid blowing North again, and you see the director’s hand from outside of the frame come into the frame and moves her hand! They didn’t edit this out!

After the sex the two go out onto the balcony and then start to talk to Jill Kelly and Vince Vouyer, whom are their neighbors. We then fade to black and then get to the interior of the next apartment.

In the apartment Vince Vouyer and Jill Kelly are in a bath tub, nude, and Kelly starts to blow Vince for the start. Soft music starts, and we get to the next sex scene. This is early Jill Kelly, before she had breast implants, my favorite period of her career, and if you’re a fan, then you’ll know her blonde hair, and tan lines well. Vouyer doesn’t even get hard to start, his penis flops a bit which is a sign that he was using a penis pump, or isn’t into the sex scene, until Kelly really gets to work with oral. If you’re a fan of Jill Kelly, then you will like this scene as it’s in her prime for me. Vouyer and Kelly have sex in the bathroom, and there’s no condom, she’s young, and looks very “California” overall. Vouyer stays hard throughout and the two eventually et to the bedroom and get it on. It’s obvious that Vouyer loses his erection at one point and has to get it back, before he starts to hump Kelly. The two move to the bedroom and go through a few positions and it’s ok at best, nothing crazy. Over time we end up seeing Vouyer cum on Kelly’s face and that’s the end.

After the scene we are taken to the streets where we see a couple of women talking. They are just talking and it appears to be Venice or the San Fernando Valley somewhere. One of the ladies invites the other and they take a drive somewhere. They drive to a house on the hills and they start to drink some wine together. This is a prelude to the sex scene that is next.

Alex Dane, Nici Sterling and Wilde Oscar all get undressed poolside at a mansion and start to really get into the sex. The women are two brunettes, one that is European with an accent, and the other that is Caucasian with a tan. They both look like they are in their late 20s or even early 30s, thin, and medium sized breasts. There is a man involved here and he is balding, and has an average sized penis. They are all outdoors, soft music starts and we get oral introduced. Both women are trimmed here, and the dude isn’t shaved completely but has some shaved. WE see the trio start to work through a threesome, and it’s not too bad. The trio move to the bedroom and they continue their sex romp, and around the midway point they end up having anal sex. The anal is interesting, as it’s with one of the ladies that has breast implants and they do it reverse cowgirl. Other than that, it is just a mediocre sex romp with one of the girls obviously confused as to what to do during the sex, and just watches, looking somewhat bored. The dude loses his erection at the 44 minute mark, and the two women try to get him back up, and it seems like a struggle until he starts pulling hard and eventually cums. This is an awkward sex scene with little to no passion, and really drives down the value of the release if you ask me.

We move from the city to the farm. That’s where we see two blondes hanging out. They are platinum blondes, and one has massive fake breasts, the others are natural, and they look very much different. They are thing, slightly pail, and have your average farmer’s red plaid with jean shorts. One of them is way older, and the other is not. The two are out by some stables and they start to kiss a bit and undress a little. After a bit a guy shows up and tells them to come through and have sex.

We see Ceran Morris, Kim Kitaine, and Goldie Star in this scene having sex. It ends up going fast, and immediately goes into doggy style, with one of the girls moaning quite loudly upon insertion, but that’s it. There’s minimal sounds here, just the sex element, with a little bit of moaning as the three start to work through oral, and doggy style sex. Again, no condom here, and honestly Morris loses his erection at one point and the camera slows down and just lets him stand there while the women have sex, and look at the director. At one point the director is in the fame, and it’s funny to see, but after some time, we see Morris get back up and then cums all over the women. This is a lackluster, terrible sex scene that is a waste of talent.

Up next we see a couple of women in the back of a boat. They are hanging out and then stop at shore while a dude watches on. The women start to kiss, and we are taken to the next sex scene.

In the next sex scene we see Felicia and Lori Michaels start to have sex, going forward with oral and fingers first. These two girls have that “girl next door” quality, and Lori Michaels looks like a milf that I know, while Felecia is young, ethnic, thin, and has long hair. She’s only done lesbian scenes with one sole exception from what I know, and Lori Michaels is premiered here for the first time. The sex is ok at best, as they go outdoors, you can see that Michaels is uncomfortable with it, and Felicia tries to go through the motions with some slight moaning overall. The two don’t have a lot of chemistry, and while it’s a serviceable scene with two attractive ladies, there’s something missing, especially from Michaels.

This scene kind of takes a dip and we see Lori Michaels start to blow Sean Rider, the driver of the boat. She blows him and then the camera switches and we go to the bedroom where we continue moving forward with the two. There’s a bit of oral from Sean Rider here and it’s not that good, but then we go back to oral with Lori Michaels giving him head. It’s soft, sensual, and she really does well with this. A condom is placed for the scene, and we start to get into the sex, which is basic, mechanical, and lackluster. Lori Michaels is an attractive woman, but it doesn’t look like she’s enjoying the sex too much, while Sean Rider just goes through the motions of in and out as you would expect. After a few position changes and random kissing, and going through the motions of casual sex, Rider takes the condom off at one point and Lori blows him for the finish. It’s not a great one it’s kind of boring.

After the hard cut we are taken to a living room where we see Vince Vouyer and Peter North jacking off and not hard at all! I kid you not, this is a real thing that is happening in this movie. The two stop pulling rope and then approach two women that are kissing, and it’s Demi Fairbanks and Jill Kelly. This is where the duo turn into a foursome, and we get some real sex, instead of just trying to pull on some play-doh for the camera. There’s some calm music that starts, and we see the guys finally get hard and start working with the women, going into them with sex, and oral. Demi Fairbanks is not interested at times, as she receives oral and Peter North has to tell her that she’s supposed to suck him off, but isn’t doing that. Meanwhile, Vince Vouyer goes forward with Jill Kelly, all of this with no condom mind you. Jill Kelly moans the most here and it’s an interesting little sequence overall, and if you’re a fan of hers, she saves the whole scene, and really has true orgasms at several points. Demi Fairbanks is there, but isn’t really there and it looks like she just goes through the motions, and well it’s a bit tired overall. Overall, the best part of this is Jill Kelly getting off, the rest is just boring to me. At one point the dudes change partners, and you see things go forward there, which is an interesting pairing with Peter North and Jill Kelly being the most attractive of options at one point, but it’s limited in scope and by the time you really get into the scene, it’s time to cum and that’s that. Perhaps one of the laziest of scenes? I don’t know. The direction, the bedroom, the lighting, and editing all work against this one, and only Jill Kelly really saves this one for me. After some mediocre sex, Peter North shoots a blast that hits both women and that’s the end. The detriment here is Demi Fairbanks performance, which is abysmal, while Jill Kelly tries to save it, it’s not enough, I can’t believe how terrible this is. I wish I knew why the performance was so bad.

Up next we see the final portion of this movie and it shows Ed Powers showing up to a random house. He is going to be doing a scene and interview as per usual, and it features two women. This time around he introduces Nicole Jefferson and Taboo. Both women are young, thin, and ethnic. Both women are African American. We start with an interview in the bedroom before Ed Powers and the women start to kiss.

Ed Powers starts to remove his clothes alongside Nicole Jefferson and Taboo. Powers doesn’t have a huge penis, mind you, and he looks like a dork, but he has bedded some amazing women, and well, props for him for doing that. This one features two attractive ladies, and the trio go through some sexual positions and well, it’s ok at best. The oral is good, but the sex is laughable, with Powers still wearing his socks, and the women letting him plow them. There’s a bit of chemistry here, and some standard moaning, but nothing too crazy, as the camera seems to stick to one or two areas overall. Powers has sex with both women, and eventually finishes on their faces, and that’s it. A terrible ending, with a lackluster scenario, with two attractive women and one fugly dude. Good for Powers, good for him.

I give “Pick Up Lines 2” a 1 out of 5.

The only saving grace to this movie is the first Jill Kelly scene. Other than that, this is a lackluster gonzo movie, with a lot of downside. The camera work is bad, the editing is rough, there’s a blooper in the movie, and the music is just awful. Overall, this is not a great movie at all, and I don’t recommend it. Unless you are looking to buy the full series as a collector, in which case, have at it. Lori Michaels is still hot, Jill Kelly is hot, but man, you have a lot of wasted space in the other scenes.