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| Pickup Lines #2 (1995) DVD Cover |
If you know what a gonzo movie is, then you know what to expect from the story line of this series of releases. If you’re not familiar with that term, then you should know that this is something that doesn’t necessarily have a story to it, but rather just a bunch of random scenes that are thrown together for the purpose of making a porno release. A lot of today’s web series and more often work within the confines of gonzo, which is not my favorite genre, but I recognize is as a resource for pornographic involvement, which is something that is going to be part of the larger scope of this blog, eventually. I can’t only stick to story lines, as I’ll run out sooner than later, so here’s some more gonzo for the people that want pure sexual gratification.
This was the first introduction to Lori Michaels, which got a different credit. The music was produced by Dr. Shears, it was edited by Miles Long, and it is the second in a series of probably hundreds of gonzo pictures.
The movie starts after the credits and we see random sequences from the porno that is to come. You see a few slow motion elements and you see what you are going to be detailing with the sex, and it’s not bad. The music is calm, then you are interspliced with B-footage and you really get a feel for what is to come next.
The movie starts in a vacation destination with Demi Fairbanks and Peter North. They are simply on vacation and walking around before they get to a roof top near a beach house and then start to make out. The start here has Peter North giving oral to Demi Fairbanks, and away we go within the first 10 minutes there’s oral. Demi Fairbanks is an attractive woman with large breasts, a tan, medium length hair, a brunette and has minimal sounds to start. The two are outdoors on a balcony overlooking the beach. After some oral from North, Fairbanks gets on her knees while some soft music plays. The two are in swimsuits then nude, and the music is boring. The camera cuts in, but the visual design is interrupted by the shadows and lack of secure elements from the sun. The two go through the motions of sex, and then go into the house. There they get on the bed and start to work out some stress with several positions. The positions are standard, and Peter North doesn’t wear a condom. Demi Fairbanks barely makes any noise, and the two go at it for a good amount of time before North eventually just strokes it until he cums on her face. It’s a lackluster scene with little to no chemistry between the two. When North cums, Demi Fairbanks looks away and puts her hand up noticeably not into this at all, and really takes away from the scene.
There is a blooper here! At one point Demi Fairbanks around the 17 minute mark tries to cover her face and even tries to avoid blowing North again, and you see the director’s hand from outside of the frame come into the frame and moves her hand! They didn’t edit this out!
After the sex the two go out onto the balcony and then start to talk to Jill Kelly and Vince Vouyer, whom are their neighbors. We then fade to black and then get to the interior of the next apartment.
In the apartment Vince Vouyer and Jill Kelly are in a bath tub, nude, and Kelly starts to blow Vince for the start. Soft music starts, and we get to the next sex scene. This is early Jill Kelly, before she had breast implants, my favorite period of her career, and if you’re a fan, then you’ll know her blonde hair, and tan lines well. Vouyer doesn’t even get hard to start, his penis flops a bit which is a sign that he was using a penis pump, or isn’t into the sex scene, until Kelly really gets to work with oral. If you’re a fan of Jill Kelly, then you will like this scene as it’s in her prime for me. Vouyer and Kelly have sex in the bathroom, and there’s no condom, she’s young, and looks very “California” overall. Vouyer stays hard throughout and the two eventually et to the bedroom and get it on. It’s obvious that Vouyer loses his erection at one point and has to get it back, before he starts to hump Kelly. The two move to the bedroom and go through a few positions and it’s ok at best, nothing crazy. Over time we end up seeing Vouyer cum on Kelly’s face and that’s the end.
After the scene we are taken to the streets where we see a couple of women talking. They are just talking and it appears to be Venice or the San Fernando Valley somewhere. One of the ladies invites the other and they take a drive somewhere. They drive to a house on the hills and they start to drink some wine together. This is a prelude to the sex scene that is next.
Alex Dane, Nici Sterling and Wilde Oscar all get undressed poolside at a mansion and start to really get into the sex. The women are two brunettes, one that is European with an accent, and the other that is Caucasian with a tan. They both look like they are in their late 20s or even early 30s, thin, and medium sized breasts. There is a man involved here and he is balding, and has an average sized penis. They are all outdoors, soft music starts and we get oral introduced. Both women are trimmed here, and the dude isn’t shaved completely but has some shaved. WE see the trio start to work through a threesome, and it’s not too bad. The trio move to the bedroom and they continue their sex romp, and around the midway point they end up having anal sex. The anal is interesting, as it’s with one of the ladies that has breast implants and they do it reverse cowgirl. Other than that, it is just a mediocre sex romp with one of the girls obviously confused as to what to do during the sex, and just watches, looking somewhat bored. The dude loses his erection at the 44 minute mark, and the two women try to get him back up, and it seems like a struggle until he starts pulling hard and eventually cums. This is an awkward sex scene with little to no passion, and really drives down the value of the release if you ask me.
We move from the city to the farm. That’s where we see two blondes hanging out. They are platinum blondes, and one has massive fake breasts, the others are natural, and they look very much different. They are thing, slightly pail, and have your average farmer’s red plaid with jean shorts. One of them is way older, and the other is not. The two are out by some stables and they start to kiss a bit and undress a little. After a bit a guy shows up and tells them to come through and have sex.
We see Ceran Morris, Kim Kitaine, and Goldie Star in this scene having sex. It ends up going fast, and immediately goes into doggy style, with one of the girls moaning quite loudly upon insertion, but that’s it. There’s minimal sounds here, just the sex element, with a little bit of moaning as the three start to work through oral, and doggy style sex. Again, no condom here, and honestly Morris loses his erection at one point and the camera slows down and just lets him stand there while the women have sex, and look at the director. At one point the director is in the fame, and it’s funny to see, but after some time, we see Morris get back up and then cums all over the women. This is a lackluster, terrible sex scene that is a waste of talent.
Up next we see a couple of women in the back of a boat. They are hanging out and then stop at shore while a dude watches on. The women start to kiss, and we are taken to the next sex scene.
In the next sex scene we see Felicia and Lori Michaels start to have sex, going forward with oral and fingers first. These two girls have that “girl next door” quality, and Lori Michaels looks like a milf that I know, while Felecia is young, ethnic, thin, and has long hair. She’s only done lesbian scenes with one sole exception from what I know, and Lori Michaels is premiered here for the first time. The sex is ok at best, as they go outdoors, you can see that Michaels is uncomfortable with it, and Felicia tries to go through the motions with some slight moaning overall. The two don’t have a lot of chemistry, and while it’s a serviceable scene with two attractive ladies, there’s something missing, especially from Michaels.
This scene kind of takes a dip and we see Lori Michaels start to blow Sean Rider, the driver of the boat. She blows him and then the camera switches and we go to the bedroom where we continue moving forward with the two. There’s a bit of oral from Sean Rider here and it’s not that good, but then we go back to oral with Lori Michaels giving him head. It’s soft, sensual, and she really does well with this. A condom is placed for the scene, and we start to get into the sex, which is basic, mechanical, and lackluster. Lori Michaels is an attractive woman, but it doesn’t look like she’s enjoying the sex too much, while Sean Rider just goes through the motions of in and out as you would expect. After a few position changes and random kissing, and going through the motions of casual sex, Rider takes the condom off at one point and Lori blows him for the finish. It’s not a great one it’s kind of boring.
After the hard cut we are taken to a living room where we see Vince Vouyer and Peter North jacking off and not hard at all! I kid you not, this is a real thing that is happening in this movie. The two stop pulling rope and then approach two women that are kissing, and it’s Demi Fairbanks and Jill Kelly. This is where the duo turn into a foursome, and we get some real sex, instead of just trying to pull on some play-doh for the camera. There’s some calm music that starts, and we see the guys finally get hard and start working with the women, going into them with sex, and oral. Demi Fairbanks is not interested at times, as she receives oral and Peter North has to tell her that she’s supposed to suck him off, but isn’t doing that. Meanwhile, Vince Vouyer goes forward with Jill Kelly, all of this with no condom mind you. Jill Kelly moans the most here and it’s an interesting little sequence overall, and if you’re a fan of hers, she saves the whole scene, and really has true orgasms at several points. Demi Fairbanks is there, but isn’t really there and it looks like she just goes through the motions, and well it’s a bit tired overall. Overall, the best part of this is Jill Kelly getting off, the rest is just boring to me. At one point the dudes change partners, and you see things go forward there, which is an interesting pairing with Peter North and Jill Kelly being the most attractive of options at one point, but it’s limited in scope and by the time you really get into the scene, it’s time to cum and that’s that. Perhaps one of the laziest of scenes? I don’t know. The direction, the bedroom, the lighting, and editing all work against this one, and only Jill Kelly really saves this one for me. After some mediocre sex, Peter North shoots a blast that hits both women and that’s the end. The detriment here is Demi Fairbanks performance, which is abysmal, while Jill Kelly tries to save it, it’s not enough, I can’t believe how terrible this is. I wish I knew why the performance was so bad.
Up next we see the final portion of this movie and it shows Ed Powers showing up to a random house. He is going to be doing a scene and interview as per usual, and it features two women. This time around he introduces Nicole Jefferson and Taboo. Both women are young, thin, and ethnic. Both women are African American. We start with an interview in the bedroom before Ed Powers and the women start to kiss.
Ed Powers starts to remove his clothes alongside Nicole Jefferson and Taboo. Powers doesn’t have a huge penis, mind you, and he looks like a dork, but he has bedded some amazing women, and well, props for him for doing that. This one features two attractive ladies, and the trio go through some sexual positions and well, it’s ok at best. The oral is good, but the sex is laughable, with Powers still wearing his socks, and the women letting him plow them. There’s a bit of chemistry here, and some standard moaning, but nothing too crazy, as the camera seems to stick to one or two areas overall. Powers has sex with both women, and eventually finishes on their faces, and that’s it. A terrible ending, with a lackluster scenario, with two attractive women and one fugly dude. Good for Powers, good for him.
I give “Pick Up Lines 2” a 1 out of 5.
The only saving grace to this movie is the first Jill Kelly scene. Other than that, this is a lackluster gonzo movie, with a lot of downside. The camera work is bad, the editing is rough, there’s a blooper in the movie, and the music is just awful. Overall, this is not a great movie at all, and I don’t recommend it. Unless you are looking to buy the full series as a collector, in which case, have at it. Lori Michaels is still hot, Jill Kelly is hot, but man, you have a lot of wasted space in the other scenes.
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