Turn Up The Heat (1991)

Again we venture to the 1990s, only this time I’m reviewing a movie from 1991. This movie is called “Turn Up The Heat”.  This early movie from the 1990s stars Tom Byron, Charlie Waters, Bobby Soxx, David Sanders, Savannah, Tony Montana, Nina DePonca, Don Fernando, and Charlie Waters. There’s no hiding this one, it gets into the hardcore right away. It starts with a 1980s haired blonde woman with a black dildo, and she just gets it on for the camera. She’s not shaved, she is very much a 1980s looking actress, and I can only assume it is Charlie Waters, who is joined by Tom Byron after she goes to work with her dildo in and out. 

Charlie Waters is straight out of the 1980s and well, so is Tom Byron. The music isn’t bad though, classic porn cinema jazz. The two work well enough, but it is definitely not a great sex scene to introduce us to “Turn up The Heat”. 

At one point the dildo gets thrown out, and the camera zooms in to introduce us to another part of the movie.  Some dude steals the dildo, and then goes and uses it, and we are into the second scene. Bobby Soxx is a nice blonde, and David Sanders is a mullet wearing random dude, and the two have minimal chemistry. I had to fast forward it, it was bad. 

The best scene in the movie, and that’s not saying a whole lot is a scene that features Savannah. Savannah and Tony Montana get physical, and it’s the best part of this movie. She looks amazing, and Montana enjoys the process alongside her. I don’t get the hype surrounding Savannah, but in this one she does look amazing. Montana does well here, and Savannah takes it, but it’s definitely not one of the more memorable scenes. She doesn’t seem to have a lot of passion here, and it shows. However, she’s such a beauty that you want to continue watching just to see what happens, and of course you know. 

Scene 1. Charlie Waters, Tom Byron

Scene 2. Bobby Soxx, David Sanders

Scene 3. Savannah, Tony Montana

Scene 4. Nina DePonca, Don Fernando

Scene 5. Bobby Soxx, Charlie Waters

Things go south fast in this movie, and while there are two more scenes, it’s not that great. Unless you’re really into floral patterned couches and blondes. The ending scene isn’t terrible, and a cameo from Ron Jeremy makes it kind of funny. Ron has a non-sex role here, and he just happens to be on set for a black dildo to get thrown into the air, and he catches it. It’s one of those things that you only see if you’re watching the whole movie, so there you go suckas!

I give “Turn Up The Heat” a 1 out of 5. 

Texas Crude (1995) Review

We go back to the 1990s, and this time around we are looking at a movie that was distributed by Nitro Productions, and directed by Charles Rothstein. The movie stars Houston, Alec Metro, Valeria, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron, Vince Vouyer, Dallas Whitacker, Barbi Bond, Keisha, and Mike Horner. The movie is about a bar in Texas, and a wealthy tycoon wants to buy in. Will the bar sell out or will they stay put, on top of a fortune of ore? The movie has a simplified plot, and really is paper thin as per usual, and to be honest, it’s not well written. However, unlike my previous reviews, I take a look at the sex more than the story, because no one seems to care about the story, and fast forward to the raunch, right? Today we look at "Texas Crude".

The first thing you should know about this movie is that Houston is starring in it, that same Houston that did 620 men in the world’s biggest gang bang. The movie opens up with a simple strip tease, and we get moving fast into the nudity. Of course, that’s what you came for, right? 

Plotting starts with a group of lawyers in a room, being requested to purchase land that is sitting on a great deal of ore. The group adjourns, and we get moving straight forward into a hard wipe, and a bedroom scene. The room looks like a random hotel, and it isn’t that attractive, but it’s where we start with the sex. 

Scene 1. Houston, Alec Metro

Houstin has her hair in braids, like that of the Perfect 10 movie. If you’re familiar with that classic, then you know what her hair looks like here. ALec Metro wears a suit that is too big for him, but it starts to come off fast with Houston. Houston is a blonde with big breasts, and a thin waist. This is before she had a lot of other work done, so she is still somewhat young in this scene, and Metro is a veteran of sorts. 

The scene is somewhat standard, with the most provocative of moments the oral sequences with Metro getting blown, where as Houston getting eaten out isn’t exactly the best. She’s shaved, in that 1990s style, so if you’re a fan of that, you’ll likely be turned on here. However the sex is rudimentary, lacking that passion, it’s two machines, no passion, and well, somewhat interesting for the longer shots. This is standard sex, porno sex, multiple positions, and a money shot, no condom, and just a finish. If you’re a fan of Houston, then you may like this scene, otherwise, it’s just not that grand. Even if she is hot, there’s something missing. 

Metro’s script is hilarious, if you’re watching this for entertainment, he spews a few one liners, here and there, which are funny to consider, but overall just over the top. 

Plot Point 

The plot moves forward and we get more of the story. Two guys are looking to make a deal to buy out the owners. In between that we get to see the hiring process of a strip club. That leads to a stern conversation in the back of the club. Ms. Dallas Delight says Texas Crude is not for sale. The crux of this plot revolves around the buying of a strip club. There’s some seriously bad acting, bad jokes, and simplified lines. 

Scene 2. Valeria, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron

Next up we get a threesome in which Byron and Wallice are sent to arrest Valeria, a busty blonde. The fun starts with kissing in a backstage area of what is supposed to be the strip club/bar. Byron gets blown first, and that’s where your x-rating comes into play. This is a scene with minimal music, and a bit of sound overall. The sound design here is not half bad, but the lack of music is a bit odd considering this is a feature. There’s a good deal of foreplay for the plot, but once the sex gets moving forward, Valeria and the boys do a good job of making moves. Fans of close up sex will enjoy seeing the penetration go full force with Byron taking the lead overall. At one point Wallice is soft, so he’s not in frame. Valeria does anal after a certain point, and while there’s no double penetration, there’s enough to get you started up. Anal is somewhat limited before a money shot occurs, and she gets it on her face and pubic mound, which is not completely shaved. 

Plot point: Wallice and Byron cum and are busted by Dallas, she warns the cops that they are in trouble and will have to answer to a higher authority unless they scram. 

Meanwhile, Houston wants to dance and approaches Dallas and asks to get started asap. 

Scene 3. Dallas Whitacker, Vince Vouyer

Vouyer watches Dallas dance, and eventually gets in good with her, and the next sex point begins. Dallas is a nice, tight blonde with medium size breasts, and Vouyer is a pro here. The setting here is a bar, right on the stools and counter. The two proceed into oral, and while it’s not epic, it is serviceable. Dallas is ok, she has pretty looks, and gives head with slight enthusiasm, but you can tell that the chemistry here is lost somewhere. They are limited to how many positions they can go here, so you can expect limited sex, doggy, cowgirl, and the use of the bar stools and counters. Dallas has a nice body, but this is not a great sex scene if you ask me. It’s formulaic, and Vouyer even looks bored at one point. There’s a money shot and then that’s it, it’s all over.

Plot Point: Houston talks to Mr. BIg about buying the bar. We then move forward to the stage where two ladies are dancing and getting clapped for and cheered for. This has shotty camera work, slow motion, and piped in claps. It’s pretty lousy, but the set isn’t too bad here so that’s a plus. 

Scene 4. Dallas Whitacker, Houston

For fans of lesbian sex, the movie throws in this little tidbit. You get Houston with Dallas, and the two immediately start getting naked and going for it. You can tell that they are not fully bisexual, at least not with one another as the scene is slow, methodical, and somewhat tame in comparison to the rest. It’s very lackluster in terms of lesbian sex, and while it will get you there, it’s definitely lacking. Again there’s no soundtrack here, just the moaning, and mostly oral as you’d expect. This is a scene you’d probably fast forward, it lacks chemistry. 

Scene 5. Barbi Bond, Keisha, Mike Horner

Moving along, we are in the middle of another scene, the plot jumps to sex, and we get the final sex encounter. This time around it’s Barbi Bond, Keisha, and Mike Horner. Horner is a veteran of this stuff, and the two women are a dichotomy for you. One is a tight blonde and one is a brunette with nice hips and curly hair. The sex starts quickly with a blow job to horner, and then goes into lesbian sex. Lots of kissing and oral before Horner jumps in to have sex with the women and it’s not half bad. It’s a good ender, but it definitely is missing something. There’s a cum shot on Barbi Bond’s rear, and that’s it for the sex, a short sex scene to level things out. 

The plot thickens when Dallas and Houston catch Horner’s character. Horner is married so gets to moving along, and then we get the final moment, where Dallas and Houston breaks the news to Mr. Big, he gets the shaft and doesn’t get to buy the club. 

Texas Crude is a by the numbers porno movie, and one that I wouldn’t recommend. If you’re a big fan of Houston, then there you go, but other than that, this is somewhat mediocre and just kind of tiresome. 

I give “Texas Crude” a 1 out of 5 stars. 

South by Southeast (1997) Review

South by Southeast - 1997 DVD Cover

Well, I got a job. A 9 to 5 type of work, but that isn’t going to stop me from reviewing adult movies. Well, it kind of did for a while, right? Well, that’s changing soon, cause this time around we are going to be looking at the 1997 movie called, “South by Southeast” and it stars some well known people. For instance, you’ll find that this movie has Vicca, Tony Tedeschi, Brittany Andrews, TT boy, Nikita Gross, Tom Byron, Alyssa Love, Vicca, Peter North, and the director in a non sex role. The director here is Jim Enright, and the movie came out from Wicked Pictures. It’s a movie that is shot on film grain, and it is very much a Hitchcock throw back, but of course, it’s an adult movie so you have to remember that, since you may want to think of this is as high brow cinema. It’s not. But it’s also not a gonzo movie either, so if you’re the type that likes to watch full adult film, this is going to be one that will interest you. Without further run up, let’s talk about this 1997 big box vhs release of “South by Southeast” from Wicked Pictures.

The movie starts out with Tom Byron running around with a gun and a silencer. Meanwhile, there’s a villain that says he won’t come out! This bit of acting is a great starting point, and there’s a bit of comedy, and good acting here. The editing is top notch, and the set is a warehouse setting with a gun wielding Byron trying to get his man. Meanwhile, outside, we see Vicca and her Russian accent with a blonde haired woman. The two talk about how they have been taken advantage of, and that they are tired of working in the adult world. The two women here have Russian accents, mind you. Then out comes the two guys that we saw initially, running through a parking lot in the valley, and just playing “cops and robbers” with a funny looking gun. Byron goes around trying to shoot his man, and ends up finding a field guide for spies. He starts to read it, and it shows some information about what his next goal is, and the camera follows right behind him. Byron is in a suit that doesn’t fit him, and we see the credits begin.

The credits roll, finish, and we get moving into the movie. We see Tom Byron getting a review from his boss, which is played by TT Boy. The two get into an argument about how bad Byron’s work is, and TT Boy is great here. The set here is more than just a random porno set, mind you, and that’s something great in regards to the budget of course. In comes a very busty woman, with a thin waist, and tanned body. She’s decked out in latex, and she’s got very large breasts. She has blonde hair, and comes in and talks about some new case. She says that Nikita is the next person that they need to get, and Byron doesn’t want to do it at first. They are trying to scam Nikita and Vicca to catch them. This setup is great, and not too bad.

We then get a flash of the Hollywood Hotel, which are not apartment buildings with studios in them. I know this, because I once met an escort there, and we discussed the tech world, etc. Anyways, the scene shifts, and we see Vicca and a blonde talking, with the blonde nude, and the two just talking about working in porn, etc. This is not sexy. The set here is a hotel room, and it’s not bad, it’s just a random set. We see the blonde go forward with moving to a set, and she meets up with Tom Byron at a mansion, dressed in heels, and a nice skirt. She has blonde, curly hair, and it’s not a bad thing. Byron ties her up, and well, we get moving into the plot. There’s no sex in this adult movie for the first 10 minutes, mind you, it’s all story.

The movie progresses and we see Tony Tedeschi dressed up like a maid, and he gets into the room of Vicca and talks about how he’s a spy. There’s some music that starts, and Vicca asks Tony Tedeschi to prove that he’s a man! This is the studio set that’s supposed to be a hotel room. It looks like a motel set in a warehouse, and nothing too complex. Your lighting is coming from overhead, although there’s lamps and cheap furnishings in place, however, the lighting and shadows are coming from studio lights, and it shows. At the 14 minute mark we start the sex. Vicca is a red headed, thin, Russian porno star with C cup size breasts, is 5 foot 10, and light skin. Tedeschi isn’t huge, but he’s a mainstay in 1990s porno movies. Vicca has red heels in this, and she pulls herself naked fast, with Tony and her kissing a great deal as the movie progresses into sex. The camera gets in close for this, and the two seem to have a little chemistry as the foreplay continues. Vicca and Tony work through a couple of positions, nothing too crazy, and he has a condom on. He finishes on her pubic region, and she moans a bit through the process. The scene doesn’t last long, and as far as sex is concerned, it works, but it’s not grand at all. If you’re a big fan of Vicca, then you’ll love to see her moaning and enjoying Tony’s thrusts, as he picks it up to a fast pace at 23 minutes. He can’t hold on though, and cums with Vicca squirming a bit, and the camera going in close. It must be rough to not go back in after cumming, but it happens, and Vicca and Tony kiss a little before he gets his maid’s uniform back on. Tony has a fake English accent, and Vicca tells him that Nikita is not a spy or anything that they need to worry about.

Next we see an interesting play on visual design flow. We see TT Boy and Tom Byron talking again, this time they bring in the blonde. There’s a point where the movie shifts to show you an African safari, with the blonde being the prey that has been captured, but that moves back to the regular office, and we see discussions about why she’s captured, mainly as bait for their main goal, Nikita. As the scene changes, we are still in an office set, and TT Boy says that he’s tense, and needs some relief, which means he’s going to get some, right? Yep!

The next sex scene features TT Boy and Brittany Andrews. Andrews is a tall blonde haired woman with large breasts, and a thin waist. TT Boy pulls his pants down and Brittany Andrews starts to suck him off, with the music starting, and TT Boy getting hard as a rock for this sex scene. Andrews here gives a passionate blow job before TT Boy puts on a condom and starts to have sex in the office setting. The office looks like your average private eye looking spot, so it’s nothing too extreme. I could totally see this with 3 walls in a warehouse from Wicked, and recycled from other sets. There’s an interesting lighting element behind the two, and you can tell it’s not a “real office”, so to speak, it’s a nice setup none the less. Andrews augmented breasts are nice, she has a pubic piercing, and has a nearly shaved pubic mound when TT Boy gets started, condom already on. I never understood why they didn’t use lubed condoms, this one is dry, and it shows. It’s a magnum, as I can tell from the latex, and if you’re a fan of big breasts, Andrews moans and seems to enjoy things as the director shows you across several different angles. My personal favorite element of this sex scene is that Andrews wears black heels as TT Boy goes faster and faster around the 36 minute mark. In a close up angle of the penetration, from underneath, you see the warehouse ceiling, breaking the illusion that is occurring, but hey, who cares, right? Me! The heels and Andrew’s large breasts and TT Boy’s cum shot makes this one worthwhile, and definitely one of the better scenes in the movie. IT definitely got me heated.

Nikita Gross is a tall, skinny, dirty blonde, and she is taller than Tom Byron. She has a Russian accent here, and it should be noted that this is not Nikita Denise, it’s a blonde that reminds me a little of Phoebe from Friends mixed with an old boss that I used to work with. Byron and Nikita start to kiss, and there’s a soft piece of music playing underneath them. This is at the mansion that we saw previously, and it’s well lit, well designed, and has some really cool decor. The Elvis painting for instance in the hallway is really cool, and while the main focal point of the director’s movements goes to sex, I can’t help but notice the decor on this set. Tom Byron starts things off by giving Nikita oral, her pubic area not shaved completely, and his tongue working through the gyrations and wetness that proceeds. When the blow job starts, you really get a feeling for Nikita’s performance, as she really puts on a show. IN fact, it’s one of the best blow job starting points that I’ve seen in a long time, and one that you may want to book mark if you stumble across it. I’d suggest buying this movie just for that, as Nikita really makes the fantasy come alive. There are a lot of different positions here, mostly for the camera, mind you, and around the 50 minute mark, Byron unloads a cum shot that gets in Nikita’s hair, and mouth, but it’s not a big load. She sucks him off after the cum shot, and that elevates this movie to all new levels.

Nikita at this point asks if she’s going to get let go, since she’s a prisoner, remember? Anyways, Byron says, no, and the story continues. Mind you, this is 50 minutes into the movie. Nikita says, “I had sex with you”, and he says, well we are running out of time, so we need to hurry along and squeeze in more sex.

We are taken to a warehouse set again, this time it’s Peter North in fatigues. He’s at a desk at a government building, and he starts to talk. He lights a cigar with a joke looking bomb and he’s called Colonel Mustard. In comes Agent Orange and Vicca. There’s a joke here, as North threw a cartoon looking bomb and it blew up in Agent Orange’s room. However, Vicca comes in wearing a see through dress, and North spews his lines. Orange is played by Tony Tedeschi here, and the three talk about how Nikita got kidnapped, for mistaken identity. Vicca here is so hot, I can’t stand it. Had I not had to maintain professional integrity, I’d be stopping this review to enjoy the following sequence. Peter North asks for inspiration, and Alyssa Love comes in to help, which of course is a signal for sex, right? You know it.

Alyssa Love has a blonde streak in her brunette hair, and Peter North gets her to sit on his lap. She has a black thong on, and starts to undress, meanwhile, Vicca and Tony Tedeschi sits on a black couch. After a little movement, we get a shot that moves away to show the rest of the set, which is a 3 wall brick walled office. Alyssa Love has black heels on, making her look taller than she is, and is completely shaved. Tony Tedeschi starts things off by giving oral to Alyssa Love, a stunning beauty, but with a zit on the outside area of her anus and vagina. Now, when I was on sets in the past, they would use make up, but with Tony Tedeschi’s tongue is lapping it all up, so he doesn’t care, but as a viewer, I’m a little turned off, just saying. In real life, I wouldn’t care, but as an art form, come on! This scene has a four way with Alyssa Love, Vicca, Peter North and Tony Tedeschi, and it’s really good. North gets blown by Vicca while Love gives her oral, and Tony continues with Love, so you get a good mix of oral to start this off, all on the classic black couch of porno worlds. The sex begins, and of course it is all with condoms on as usual. Vicca and Peter North go for it first, and the camera lets you in on the back and forth. If you wanted a lesson in safe sex, here you go. While Vicca and Peter North have sex using a condom, Tony and Alyssa Love don’t, so the camera moves around little showing you examples of safer sex and straight forward doggy style with no condom at all. The moans and groans get heated at the 1 hour mark, and the camera shows you the penetration fully, making this an interesting little flick. After a bit of moaning and back and forth, we see the two guys cum on the faces of the actresses, and it’s not half bad, but it’s not great either. Syncrhonizing summing is tough, and I expected a Peter North cum blast, as I see Alyssa Love’s tongue ring, but as Tony finishes, and Vica blows him, North blasts Love in the face, and it’s quite good overall, which is an interesting sequence, and then Vicca starts to help him get off again, while Love sucks him off.

The next thing that you are going to notice about this movie is that it follows up all of this male on female action by giving you a lesbian scene with Nikita and Brittany Andrews. The two have sex outside, and they use their tongues, hands, and the camera plays on the more "playboy" type of scene, with soft lighting, even for outdoors, and it's not really that intense at first, but over time it became better and better. If you're a fan of lesbian scenes, then you'll love this one. Nikita and Brittany Andrews in a lesbian scene? You know what you're in for here, as it's outdoors and it's well lit, overlooking a good view.

After the scene, we get back to the story, and the end of the movie showcases some comedic gun play, and the final moments of mistaken identity, catching the bad girls, and lots of comedic one liners that are just bad. If you're a completionist of porno movies, then you'll love the story going into the final stages without any sex, and giving you a complete script. It's fine, but it abandons the source material long before this ever concludes. They tried, right? Of course.

I give "South By Southeast" a 3 out of 5. 

There are two great sex scenes here, and the foursome was good, even if there is an odd point where Peter North looks over at what Tony Tedeschi is doing harking back to his Matt Ramsey days. Overall, 3 out of 5 is the best I can give this overall.

This movie is available for streaming, and downloading and you can get "South by Southeast" by clicking here. 

Video Tramp (1984) Review

Video Tramp (19984) Cover 

We go back into our time machine again and this time around we are going to be looking at a movie that was released into theaters and onto VHS and Beta Max from 1984. Going back in time to the 1980s is always fun, at least for me, as you get a glimpse of porno from the past. In this movie, "Video Tramp" we are taken back to the times when video stores were still around and it's one of my favorite time frames, as I love video stores. It's here that you're going to find the stars align for a Jack Genero directed film. The stars of this movie include Jessica Wylde, Tom Byron, Marc Wallice, Andrea Brittain, and of course Christy Canyon. So with that all in mind, let's get to the movie, in which we are taken to a video store.

At the video store, we see Christy Canyon as a video store clerk that recommends videos to different patrons. In the store at the opening of the movie is Tom Byron. He wants a movie for himself and his girlfriend, and picks up a John C. Holmes feature, as it is recommended by Canyon. The box is shown on the screen, and then we are taken to a bedroom where Byron is hanging out with this girlfriend. Within 3 minutes, the sex begins, and we are off to the races in this porno movie from 1984.

We are taken to a wooden clad bedroom. We see Tom Byron and Jessica Wylde in bed, and they start to kiss. Jessica Wylde is a brunette, and has a "hippy" look to her, as she's young, has medium sized natural breasts, full pubic hair, and extremely long hair. She is very feminine and looks amazing next to Tom Byron in this one. Byron of course looks young, because he is, and the two start with oral, as an acoustic song loops. The oral is good, with Byron going first, then Wylde giving Byron a blow job. It's here that we see Byron as "Dirk Diggler", if you ask me. and while the lighting, and the scene is straightforward, the music really is annoying. The sex starts with reverse cowgirl, and it's somewhat vanilla in nature. It's just straight forward, with a little moaning, and Byron going through his usual positions and speed framework that he has in his 20s. The set is not well lit, and Wylde is pretty, natural, and seems to be enjoying herself as the camera moves around a little bit. The music absolutely makes this scene suck, though, ugh, I'd rather not have music to be honest.Thetwo continue through different positions, and it's not a terrible scene. By the 13th minute, the music stops, and it is quite sexy, for a while, but Wylde seems to not be into it even though she moans a bit. Byron pulls out and cums onto Wylde's butt, and that's it.

We move along and we see Marc Wallice talking to Tom Byron. Wallice has lost his job and he is a but crestfallen, but tells Byron that a girl is coming and it's going to be better. That's when Christy Canyon approaches and the two guys convince her to come back to an apartment and have sex. The apartment has the same wooden walls as the other scene, only this time the trio go to a brown couch to start and have sex. Those that haven't seen Christy Canyon should know she has large breasts, long brown hair, is not shaved, and is an icon in porno. Tom Byron and Mar Wallice take turns giving oral to Christy, while a smooth jazz piece places, and she blows the two of them. The performance here is good, with Christy really getting into her role, and the guys just letting it flow with the movements that Christy gives them overall. The two take turns having sex with Christy, there's no double penetration, just doggy style, reverse doggy, and meanwhile she sucks off a guy. That's it. It's a modest scene, with simple progressions, and fans of Canyon's large breasts will delight. The music sucks, the lighting is ok, and the sex is formulaic, but Canyon steals the show with her unique body, and mannerisms. After some position changes, we finally get a money shot, and it shows Wallice cumming on Canyon's breasts, while Byron never really finishes.

We go back to the video store, and a recommendation is made.

The movie moves towards Jessica Wylde, and we see her watching a porno. She watches in the same bedroom from the first scene, and she just plays with her self for the camera while watching an old porno movie, and that's it.

The movie shifts gear again. This time giving us a new vision, with Andrea Brittian and Jessica Wylde. You've already seen Jessica Wylde, but here comes Andrea Brittain. She's a pretty looking woman, with short blonde hair, very much in the 1980s style, small breasts, light skinned pubic hair, and a calm demeanor. Wylde and Brittain start to kiss, and then go into oral, as the terrible music once again starts and loops. As far as lesbian sex scenes are concerned, this is one of the worst I've seen.

After the two women engage in sex, we are taken back to the video store. Christy Canyon and Marc Wallice lock up the store, and the two start to talk about selling more adult videos. Canyon asks Wallice to follow her, and the two end up in a backroom of the video store. It's there that the two start to talk. Christy Canyon has a blue dress on, and starts to ask Wallice to get physical, and the two start to make out a little. The music starts, and it's awful yet again. Whomever picked this music is terrible! I can't believe how awful the music is. The lighting is ok, there's a lot of shadow here, but the lighting is nicely placed, and the camera zooms in nicely through it. It's not a multiple camera thing, it's one main film camera, and the lighting leaves a bit to be desired, as the shadows are insane for this scene. The sex starts to work well enough, and it's not bad. Canyon does her thing, and Wallice is a sad sack at a few moments. He doesn't get hard at first, and then he tries to get himself hard for the sex, and eventually gets stiff enough. Canyon goes with reverse cowgirl to start, and it's good as the director decides to pull back the camera so you can see what is going on. The two continue to have sex in a backroom, and eventually Wallice finishes on the pubic hair of Canyon and that's it. It's an ok scene at best.

We go back to the video store, and this time it's Jessica Wylde talking to Christy Canyon. She wants a special video for her and her man. But Canyon tells her about the back room. The two decide to go back there, and start to make out, and then Canyon goes down on Wylde for a while. The lighting is better for this scene, and the camera stays in tight with what appears to be a fisheye lens at one point. If you like lesbian scenes, this is a good one, compared to the others in this movie. The set is ok, the floor is fine, the shadows are bad again, but the sex is adequate, and isn't too flashy, and naturally moves forward. The camera work is fine too, but the music once again horrible. As the scene continues, Tom Byron shows up, and starts to make out with Canyon as she sits on Wylde's face. Byron takes off his clothes, and starts have sex with Wylde, while Canyon guides the two, and that's it. Canyon rims Byron at one point, which is an interesting finish. Byron stays in one position mostly, and the sex is fine, Wylde seems to like the happenings, and eventually Byron cums on Wylde's butt, while Canyon plays with him a little, and that's that. The end of this movie.

I give "Video Tramp" a 2 out of 5.

Unles you're a big fan of Christy Canyon, I wouldn't recommend this movie. However, Christy Canyon fans, you'll love that she is in 3 scenes, and does get naked and has sex a lot, which is the point, right?

Ginger Lynn The Movie (1988) Review

Gnger Lynn The Movie (1988) 

You didn’t think I abandoned this blog did you? I know I took a little break, but I’m back, and my first movie on this return is a movie that is actually a bit of a compilation. It came out in 1988, and I cannot confirm that this ever played on the big screen or not. It’s a movie that compiled a lot of footage from Paradise Visuals, the company that did a lot with Traci Lords. The original cut of this movie does have Traci Lords in it, mind you, but of course you know that it’s hard to get movies with her in them. While I am able to get them when I go overseas, I cannot get them in the United States, as they were supposed to be thrown out. Anyways, in 1988, a movie came out called, “Ginger Lynn: The Movie” and it features scenes that include all Ginger Lynn. If you’re a fan of Lynn’s early work, then you’re going to love this one, because it is all about Ginger, which is always nice. Even today, Ginger Lynn looks amazing, and well, let’s consider this movie and how it all comes through.

The opening scene is from the movie, “The Young Girls” which came out in 1984. I reviewed that one, I think, and if not, well, you can seek that one out. The scene features Ginger Lynn and John Holmes. The two start in an office and talk a little before Ginger Lynn takes off her clothes and presents herself nude to John Holmes. John Holmes starts with oral on Ginger Lynn. Lynn here is young, tan, blonde, and has small breasts. She’s still new in the industry, and it shows, allowing for distinct vibes from Holme’s oral delivery. After some initial oral, Lynn gets on her hands and knees and sucks off John Holmes. If you’re not aware of who he is, you’ll find that he’s huge, and his penis here is on full display, and it’s before he lost all the weight and looked like a drug addict. This is early Holmes, and it’s fascinating on one hand, and odd in another. Lynn works well with the large size. After some solo work, masturbation, and close ups with no music, mind you, Holmes cums on her face and that’s it. Nothing major here, no sex, just a blow job and a finish.

For the second scene, we see Ginger Lynn in a bedroom pleasing herself slowly for the camera. There’s saxophone jazz music playing, and it’s an average scene, nothing spectacular. It’s a short one, but it works in a very “Playboy” soft kind of way, but it still has some hardcore elements to it, so don’t let that fool you. It’s Ginger Lynn, masturbating, that’s it.

There’s a sequence that features Harry Reems, and the two kiss at one point, but it’s tame, and nothing really to report. It’s a futuristic looking scene where the two kiss in a box, and that’s it. Reems is then seen talking to Harry Reems, and the two just talk about the scene that they were working in. Reems takes Lynn back to his apartment and the two start to make out on a bed that looks like a 1980s bedroom. The camera cuts and Lynn immediately starts to blow Reems. She’s fully naked now and the two start with 69. The sex here has no music to it, and it’s just Reems and ginger, sweating, making out, and going through several motions of sexual intercourse. It’s semi-fast at times, but mostly it has a lot of kissing and slow moving sex, with Ginger moaning here and there, and nothing too complex. There’s a money shot that they slow down, and that’s it.

The next scene features Peter North driving a car, and he’s simply going to meet with Giner Lynn at this point. He is thin, wears a suit, and is visiting Ginger at a random house.

It’s here that the camera cuts and we see Ginger Lynn and Christy Canyon making out, nude, and then starting to work with a lesbian sequence. There’s punk rock music in the background, and the set is terribly lit, with a bit too much orange lights. The bedroom is mired by late 1980s covers, and the two women are the epitome of porn from the 1980s. Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn go through the motions of lesbian sex here, and it’s not bad, all with Peter North just watching. The film grain is terrible here, and the two women just seem to work ok together, doing what you’d expect. Oral, fingers, and scissoring for the most part.

The scene ends, and we hard cut to Ginger Lynn moaning loudly as she’s getting plowed by Tom Byron. This scene is from another movie, and it’s not half bad. This is average at best, and it’s very short, only a few minutes, and Byron cums on her back. It’s so fast that you won’t even time to get hard.

The scene gets cut, and we are taken to an orgy scene that features, Crystal Breeze, Ginger Lynn, Sheri St. Clair, David Sanders, Eric Edwards, Marc Wallice, Peter North, and Tom Byron. This scene has some music to it, and it doesn’t just focus on one girl, it focuses on all of them. If you like orgy scenes, then you may like this one. For me, it’s boring because the camera keeps shifting and the sex is just somewhat formulaic, and clumsy for the most part. The editing isn’t that good, but the music kind of neat. Ginger Lynn does put in a good performance, considering she’s not the main focal point of the whole scene, and does in fact moan a lot, but her moaning gets lost with other women in the scene.

There’s another hard cut and we go to Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Sheri St. Clair, and Tom Byron engaging in a sexual escapade. They are all nude and there’s nothing to this scene, but the girls kissing and going at it with Tom. They are all brunettes and there’s no GINGER, and the editing here is horrendous. The camera shows you more of the facial features than anything else.

The next scene is throw into good measure, and it features Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn having sex with Jamie Gillis. This is another short scene, but it’s one that is quite good if you like Canyon and Lynn together. Gillis is a lucky man here, aging, and somewhat simple in his look, but he manages to get both women aroused and gets involved with each one, sans condom. There’s a heavy bass line here, and at some points Canyon looks into the camera, but it ends with a money shot onto Canyon and Lynn’s back. Gillis looks like a creepy uncle here too.

The scene fades to black and we see Peter North and Ginger Lynn talking by a lake. The two go forward to a deck chair and start to engage in sex. Ginger Lynn starts to blow Peter North, and out comes Christy Canyon, wanting to jump in as well. Ginger Lynn, Christy Canyon, and Peter North start to have outdoor sex, and the film grain is horrendous, the lighting is bad, and the camera has to fight shadows everywhere. This scene doesn’t last too long, mind you, and by the time North starts to get one of the actresses to moan, he cums, and that’s that.

I give “Ginger Lynn The Movie” a 2 out of 5.

Look, I love Ginger Lynn, and I’ve seen her in a lot of movies, but this is not a great one. Inf act, it’s a bad compilation that promises 9 scenes and possibly some bonuses, and it’s awful. I could see this being a video store rental, and that’s it for a quick ride. However, there’s no story here, it’s spliced from other movies, and the editing is beyond horrendous, which is why I can’t recommend this for anything else than for observation and history. Other than that, collectors are the only ones that will want this one, not the average porn consumer.

Between The Cheeks (1985) Review

Between The Cheeks (1985) Poster

Again we go back to the 1980s. I feel that no matter what I do, the 1980s keep sending me back to the decade to check out the porn that came out from that era. It’s funny, because that’s when the film grain is used most, and the artistic elements seem the best. But then again, there are also some terrible movies from back then, so let’s not get carried away with giving them praises. As far as our time machine is concerned, it’s going to 1985. We are going to 1985 to review a movie that was directed by Gregory Dark. The distributor was VCA, and the stars are some of the major players from the world of porn. The movie here is called, “Between The Cheeks”, and it was released in 1985. The stars of this movie include, Summer Rose, Aurora, Steve Powers, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron, Tony Martino, Laurie Smith, Steve Alexander, Gina Valentino, Sheri St. Clair, Ginger Lynn, and Jack Baker. This is not a long movie, but it stars some big names, and that may be why it has come time to review this one.

The movie begins with the classic Dark Brothers logo, in which they claim that they are purveyors of filth. A classic 1980s rock soundtrack begins and we start with the credits. The music has lyrics, and it’s a licensed musical number, as we are introduced to the actors in the movie, with clips of the sex that you’re going to see later on. The song is called, “Between The Cheeks”, and it has full lyrics, and it’s made for this movie! It’s an interesting little introduction, alongside the images of what’s to come. This gets a full point from me, just for the music starting point.

The movie starts with a Jack Baker talking to three people in a warehouse set. There’s a lecture about the difference between cats and women, and we have three students that are playing dumb. It’s funny to see how they try to inject characterizations into the movie. We find out that the guys here are in an asylum, and the teacher is nothing more than part of the craziness. Baker’s a good actor, and he does well here, as he did in other movies from the 1980s. The starting line is interesting, with Baker carrying the acting element more than everything else. He goes through the lecture and it sounds like he’s discussing pimping, an of course, it aint easy.

The screen fades and we are taken to another part of what appears to be a warehouse set. Here we see Summer Rose, Aurora and Steve Powers. One woman is a tall, thin, long haired brunette with a thin face, that looks a lot like my third grade teacher. Then there’s a woman that is a total punk rocker, with short hair, and the 1980s punk aesthetic look, and she starts this scene giving the brunette oral. Steve Powers is in the background somewhere with a pair of white nikes on. Summer Rose, Aurora, and Steve Powers engage in a threesome that begins with oral. The set here is a makeshift bedroom, with lighting from above, yellow walls, and a random mattress. We are nearly 10 minutes into this one when it starts, and it begins with Powers flaccid, and getting blown, while the punk chick rims and eats the brunette. There’s a few shadows cast from the crew, which made me laugh, and there’s a continued shadow near the bottom of the bed that shows you there’s a crew in the lighting, which makes this amateur hour! There’s a focus on anal play with fingers at first, but Powers soon gets in from behind to start with doggy style on the brunette, to the tune of some Devo sounding tunes. No condoms are used of course, and doggy goes forward with anal, while the brunette moans and screams, with lighting underneath to show you the penetration. After some time, the women switch and Powers go for the punk chick while the women get into a 69 position, and we see the sex go forward with some light moaning. The music intensifies and Steve doesn’t hold on much longer before he pulls out and cums on the brunettes face, and that’s the end of the scene. The ending element is awesome, with Powers getting blown after the fact with gusto, and really looked good, a point that has always garnered me hot, including a lot more blowing for a long time after the fact. It’s so powerful that powers nearly cums twice here.

We go back to the classroom and there’s a lot of dialogue and random talking. This is like watching a late night comedy routine, and it’s really only great if you watch it. I can’t really explain it too much, it’s a bunch of guys in an asylum talking about sex, in funny voices, and being stupid. It’s funny, it’s shot on film, and I can totally see this in theaters from the 1980s.

After the guys go back and forth we are taken to the next sex scene. This sex scene features Summer Rose, Marc Wallice, and Steve Powers. This time, Summer Rose is dressed like an extra from Cats, with long curly hair. She’s tall, looks a bit older, and goes through the motions of sex fast. Powers and Wallice are there with fully pubic hair, and they just go through the motions with a terrible soundtrack. After about 25 minutes, we get the first DP of the movie. If you’re into DP, then you are going to enjoy seeing this sequence as the trio go in together for a full blown focused energy movement. It’s a bit unsexy, mechanical, and while it works, you can tell Summer Rose is just gritting her teeth and taking the sequence. It honestly doesn’t do much for me, as it doesn’t really seem like the trio are that into it, and mostly just waiting for the director to yell cut or for someone to cum. After the guy doing anal cums, Rose goes down to blowing Powers, and that’s it. No second cum shot, just one, and that’s it.

After the scene we go back to the classroom and the guys are talking about random things. Then one of them speaks up and says that he was involved in foursome once, and then we are taken to that.

Ginger Lynn, Marc Wallice, Tom Byron, and Tony Martino are in this sex scene, and it has a few guys masturbating onto what appears to be bowls of jello. There’s harpsichord music playing, and the camera shifts to Tom Byron in a red hat giving Ginger Lynn oral. Ginger Lynn is in her prime here, thin, young, and has that 1980s hair style, it’s a really interesting look for her. She’s nude on a table, where the jello was, and I can only laugh at the premise. The four some do well here, and it’s really a matter of time before two of the three go in for DP. If you’re a fan of double penetration, then you’re going to get it at around 36 minutes into this movie. Ginger Lynn seems to take it well, and actually moans and seems to concentrate on the movements. What isn’t sexy is seeing one of the guys completely flaccid as the two go for DP, and he just throws around the rope trying to get Lynn to suck it, but he’s flaccid. The camera moves away from that fast, and just shows you the penetration with some terrible clown type music. There’s no cum shots here, the screen just fades to black and we get back to the classroom.

Back at the classroom and we start to see a random talk about aliens, etc. They argue back and forth, and we are then taken to a sex scene again.

The next sex scene is in a random warehouse, with a bed that has a red comforter on it. This time, the lighting is done well, and the sex is slow moving at first. It features Laurie Smith and Steve Alexander. Laurie Smith is a tall woman, with small breasts, unshaved, and has big hair. Alexander has the Freddie Mercury vibe, and if you see this you know exactly what I mean. There’s no condoms here, and there’s no shaving, it’s full hair. Despite the good lighting, and the interesting sexual chemistry, the sex isn’t that enthusiastic for the most part, and it seems like the two are just going through the motions, which isn’t a bad thing sometimes, but the director is scatter brained about what to show, and therefore it lacks that sensuality that you’d expect. Plus, Alexander looks so much like Freddie Mercury, that you’re going to be wondering what the hell is going on here. Eventually, after some lackluster sex, Alexander cums on Smith’s backside and that’s it. Perhaps one of the weakest porn scenes I’ve ever seen in a movie.

Moving along we are back at the classroom and we see more stories being told. One of which is about an alien and that there’s secret women on Jupiter. This then sends us to a warehouse where thre’s a makeshift bathtub, and some fish on the wall.

The bath tub is on the floor and it features Gina Valentino masturbating by herself, her hair up, and just moaning. Meanwhile, we see Marc Wallice on a nearby bed just stroking himself, with nothing else. After some time the two join each other and Wallice starts to give oral, as the two end up going with a 69 position for a while. There’s some Caribbean music playing to start this, and we see things really heat up. Valentino is a tanned, tall, brunette with natural breasts, and the scene accentuates those features quite well overall. There’s a bit of sex here, but it doesn’t last long. It quickly divulges into a major blow job scene with Valentino’s hair coming undone and flowing down. Wallice gets a blow job for the finish of this scene, and the music throws me off completely. As far as chemistry is concerned, these two seem to have the most fun, and it really was a good scene to see at the end, even if it’s done with comedy music etc. The ending here is with Wallice cumming in Valentino’s mouth, and then we fade to black.

We then go back to the asylum and we see the teacher talking about a surprise. That’s when Jack Baker bring sin a woman. In comes Sheri St. Clair, and she comes in lingerie. Baker gives everyone an impromptu anatomy lesson, and well, away we go.

Sheri St. Clair starts with oral, and it’s kind of gross. The reason why is because Jack Baker isn’t hard, and that’s something that always bugs me about these 1980s porno movies. When someone isn’t hard and they insist on keeping the camera on them, it’s a bit odd. Sheri St. Clair, Jack Baker, Marc Wallice, Steve Powers, and Tony Martino are the featured players in this scene, and it’s a sexual romp that is absolutely awful overall. It’s not sexy at all, and it’s supposed to be a lesson in how to have sex for the asylum guys. At one point Baker masturbates but isn’t hard, and it’s probably one of the grosses scenes I’ve seen in porn, although he eventually gets it up and cums on St. Clair. After he’s done, the other guys come through and start to have sex with St. Clair. St. Clair is a tall brunette with black lingerie, and looks a little older. She has full pubic hair, and seems to enjoy the process of working with the guys, but it’s a mechanical scene otherwise, and just a paint by numbers sex scene. It ends abruptly, and we get the song from the beginning. That’s it, the movie ends and we get the credits rolling.

I give “Between The Cheeks” a 1 out of 5.

I should give this movie a 0 out of 5, but there are some moments that are interesting, including some nice set design and interesting music. Other than that, this is perhaps one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my 100 plus reviews. It’s so bad, that I don’t even know what to tell you more about this. It has an interesting cover, and if you saw it in rental stores, you probably would’ve rented it, but other than that, this is a movie that is lacking in anything sexy, and perhaps it will work in a pinch, but not for me. Not even Ginger Lynn’s DP scene can save me from this one, although she’s a lovely lady none the less.

Let’s Talk Sex (1983) Review

Let's Talk Sex (1983) Updated Poster 

Once again we venture back into our time machine to visit another era of pornography. This happens a lot, since I tend to only pick moves that have plot, and something more than just gonzo sequences. I make exceptions here and there, but I’m only one man and I’m reviewing smut, and no one is reading. Today we venture back to 1983, a different year for everyone, and we are going to be discussing a movie that was directed by Paul G. Vatelli. This movie was distributed by Caballero Home Video, and it was no doubt seen on the big silver screen. With that in mind, let’s go forward to a movie that stars some big names. The movie is called, “Let’s talk Sex” and it was released in 1983. The stars of this movie include, Bridgette Monet, David Cannon, Pat Manning, Kevin James, Mona Page, Julia Parton, Mike Horner, Becky Savage, Kitten Natividad, Joy Larsen, Laurien Wilde, Melanie Scott, Tom Byron, and Herschel Savage. A big cast for a porno movie, but none the less, let’s take on this movie and see if it’s worth your time at all.

The movie starts with B-footage of what appears to be Downtown Los Angeles in the 1980s. There’s nothing too forward to talk about here, it’s just a nurse walking the streets alone. There’s some cat calling that occurs, and that’s it. The cat calling keeps going, but the nurse keeps walking. This nurse is a brunette in uniform, and that’s it, nothing crazy. She is walking home from her shift, and eventually makes it. She’s plain looking, brunette, thin body, small breasts, the 1980s uniform of a nurse, and she finally makes it to her house, where she can take off her hat, and settle in. We hear sirens in the background, and we see this woman walk through her home after work, assuming she’s single, and just going through the daily routine. Nothing fancy here, cinema more than a sexual romp begins this movie. I like that. We are shown what this woman is like, and within the standard of the sequence we see the lights go out. The lights go out, and it’s dark, our nurse hears something, and starts to walk towards the sound.

The nurse opens up a closet and she sees a random man in her bedroom! The man requests that she starts undressing, so she obliges. This is the start of a lot of horror movies, mind you. The woman starts to undress, and the music starts to get a bit more intense, like a 1980s slasher flick. She obliges, taking off her nurse’s uniform, lingerie, and shows off her nude body. He requests that she gets on her knees, and the music intensifies and we are taken to the sex within the first 10 minutes of this movie.

Bridgette Monet and David Cannon are the actors here. Bridgette is a girl next door type of woman, plain, and simple, while David Cannon looks like a home invader, and gets hard fast. Bridgette Monet starts to give him a blow job, and it’s nice and sensual as the music intensifies a little, mixing rock and new wave. Monet’s technique is actually pretty good, and the lighting is really dark here, except for the act. The two move to what appears to be a couch and there’s zebra print sheets on it. They engage in sex, with a couple of positions, but the film grain and lighting is so dark, it’s hard to tell what is going on. You can tell the movements, and the camera does let you in for a little bit of the sex, but it’s mostly a lot of outer camera angles with lackluster lighting. Maybe there’s a remastered edition of this, but my digital copy is still dark. The two have some boring sex, and it really isn’t much to write about. It’s not the worst sex scene I’ve seen, but it’s far from the best, and I do mean far. The scene ends with Monet blowing Cannon.

The end of the scene is odd. We see Cannon pick up a phone and he is talking to a woman. We find out that he’s been alone the whole time, he’s been talking to a sex chat line, and that’s it. There’s no nurse, there’s nothing strange, it’s a phone sex fantasy that we’ve been seeing. The movie sends us to a call center where there’s women answering phones and it’s sex talk. The women start talking about their work, and that’s it. Nothing crazy. They talk about how going out with a customer is not possible, etc.

The movie continues and we are taken to a random house where a woman is going to take a bath. She tells her husband or some random dude that she’s going to the bath, and that’s it. We see a woman taking a bath. She has short hair, small breasts, long legs, and a thin frame. A woman straight out of 1983, that’s for certain. She starts to pleasure herself in the bathtub with bubbles when we see the man peaking in to see what she’s doing. This guy looks like Scott Baio, by the way. The bubbles get in the way of seeing any of the action, but our voyeur is getting a full view of the action. She continues to play with herself until we see the man leave and call a phone sex line.

During the phone sex, he talks about the fantasy that he has. He talks about the woman in the tub, and then we are taken to the two getting involved. Pat Manning and Kevin James start to make out, they are both nude and they get into the tub together. They move away from the tub and out to a patio, and that’s where we see more of the woman and of course James. The woman is not fit, she’s older, and is not shaved. That’s not to say it’s bad, but she’s a true milf before the word was ever invented. The lighting is good here, and you see them having sex outdoors, with multiple positions. There’s a rock instrumental underneath this, and it’s literally just the two having sex, nothing too crazy. You don’t hear a lot of the moaning or anything, as the music is louder. The film grain is here, and it truly looks like a 1980s low budget sex movie. There’s no condoms, no one is shaved, and the two just seem to be looking for a rhythm for the most part. After a few positions, Pat Manning rolls over for a blow job and then James finishes, and that’s it. It’s an ok sex scene, but it’s definitely lacking some gusto. The two work ok together, but when the music is better than the sex, there’s something problematic about what is going on.

The scene ends and we are taken to a warehouse. We see Mike Horner calling the sex line and focusing on getting some action from the fantasy line. He asks for two girls this time, and we are taken to a room where there’s two women. He lets out his fantasy and we are taken to the office where he is in the center of two women.

The camera moves towards the office and we see Mona Page, Julia Parton, and Mike Horner engaging in oral sex. Horner has a serious mustache for this one, and the two women are brunettes. Two brunettes with all natural bodies, pubic hair, and all. They are thin, one has larger breasts than the other, and one has a bikini tan line. The music is jazzy, with a spark of saxophone and a little electric guitar, and the sex is slow and steady. The lighting and camera work is not that good as the trio have sex on top of a desk. They eventually get to a blow job where Mike Horner eventually cums into the faces of the two women, and that’s it. Horner finishes, and the camera hard cuts to an exterior shot of a house. Not a great sex scene, mind you, mired by a lack of chemistry between the actors.

As we move forward we see a woman undress in her own home. She calls a sex line and starts to discuss the fantasy a little. It’s with this that we get a little departure from the past solution, as we now get a lesbian scene.

For this scene we get Becky Savage and Kitten Natividad doing phone sex. The two are not together, they are in separate rooms masturbating with a phone in their ears. One woman is using the phone to masturbate. They are both a bit older, with full pubic mounds, not shaved, and just writhe around with pleasure for the viewer. The lighting is once again darkened, and there’s a bit of moaning to accompany the sounds of smooth electric guitar riffs. It’s like going back in time to have sex, there’s no shaving, there’s just hair, and wetness, and two women getting themselves off. Of course, this may be Joy Larsen and Laurien Wilde, I’m not sure. It’s two women solo, and they are both brunettes, that’s all I can say about this one.

We move to another home, and this time we see Melanie Scott and Tom Byron hanging out. Melanie Scott is a thin, tan, blonde haired woman that looks like the girl next door from 1983. She has a full pubic mound, and Tom Byron looks very much like Mark Wahlberg did when he was first discovered in boogie nights. The two start to slowly kiss and then go to oral. There’s romantic piano music here, and the director shoots from various angles, allowing you to see everything that is going on. It’s not a terrible scene, mind you, it’s just a slow moving sexual romp that is more akin to making love than it is to anything you’d expect from porno. It’s sensual, it has climaxes, and it’s a straight forward shot through sex, no clips or cuts from what I can tell. If you like slow moving, multiple position sex with a climax that features a cum shot, then here you go. It works, it’s serviceable, but it’s lackluster in a lot of ways. I can understand why this was shown as it works for the movie’s plot and work, but other than that, it’s a lackluster sex scene.

The next scene shows Laurien Wilde asking a man to go out with her. They want to go out and meet at a bar. They make the date, and we see things go down at a bar. It’s dimly lit, there’s a pool table, there’s some contemporary music, and it looks like any other low budget made for cable horror flick. Laurien Wilde and Herschel Savage go from the bar to the house, and they just hang out a little before deciding to call the phone sex line.

After the call begins, we start to see Laurien Wilde and Herschel Savage engage in oral sex. There’s a nice rock tune coming through, when Laurien Wilde gets to work with Savage. Laurien is a thin, tall, natural woman that looks a lot like the girl next door at an upscale apartment building. She’s attractive, and could probably teach middle school right out of college, that type of look. She has long black hair, and services Savage quite well. She’s all natural, and Savage is too, the two have some decent chemistry, a bit of moaning, and they go through the motions. This is all done on a brown couch, with dark lighting, and several positions. There’s no speed here, they take their time, they work with one another and it is once again akin to making love, it’s that gentle overall. The finish comes with Savage letting go on Wilde’s face as she blows him, the director decides to go with slow motion for the finish. The call ends, the sex ends, and of course, the movie ends here as well.

I give “Let’s Talk Sex” a 2 out of 5.

The only saving grace of this movie is that it’s shot on film and has a plot and musical prowess. Other than that, this is a terrible, movie that has not aged well at all. I was astonished how bad some of it was, even though there was some interesting sex going on. It’s interesting on a historical level, not really going to turn you on at all, unless you love 1980s, slow moving, love making. If that’s your thing, then you’ll love this one.

You can purchase "Let's Talk Sex" on DVD by Clicking Here, and if you act fast, you can get a second movie all in the same set. Not bad for some 1980s porno action. 

Lust In The Fast Lane (1984) Review

Lust In The Fast Lane (1984) Poster 

Stepping back into our time machine we are going back to a controversial subject. We are going to be talking about a movie that came out in 1984. While in Japan, I was able to procure a copy of “Lust In The Fast Lane”, and after giving some time to the idea, I’ve decided to review it today. What’s the big deal about this movie? Well, it stars a lot of 1980s stars, including Traci Lords. Now, whether you want to argue with the fact that this movie was made at a certain time in Lords life, or if it’s illegal is up to you. We’ve reviewed LEGAL copies of these movies in the past, and since I purchased this in Japan, I purchased a LEGAL copy of this, and will be reviewing it as such. So let’s go back to 1984, and discuss “Lust In The Fast Lane”, which was later released and edited to not have Traci Lords in it. The stars of the original site included Ginger Lynn, Tom Byron, Crystal Breeze, Traci Lords, Eric Edwards, Peter North, Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Sheri St. Clair, Marc Wallice, and David Sanders. This was originally shown in porno movie theaters and the film grain is completely there, so you’ll note that it is made for theaters, and that includes the story, transitions, and film quality. If you are in Europe, or anywhere else where Traci Lord videos are legal to purchase, or you run into something online, then perhaps, you will want to know whether or not this movie is worth checking out for review or pleasure. The movie is directed by Adam, and it was released by Pink Visuals.

The first thing that comes through is that Tom Byron and Traci Lords are a couple. They want to go somewhere for the weekend. Byron says, let’s get into the car and just go somewhere. Lords says she doesn’t know where to go or where to stay, and well, Byron is all about going out, so the two leave their kitchen, get into a car, and venture off on the road. On the road, the car that they are in breaks down and they have to walk. They end up walking to a random house. In the house they see a random guy that is nude, and a woman in a swimsuit. The couple tell them that the nearest gas station is 15 miles away, and that they should stick around, and stay the night. Lords keeps saying that they don’t want to disturb anyone, and that’s fine. The couple have walked into a home that is very much a swingers house. Everyone is introduced, and they are instructed to just enjoy themselves, and that’s when things go forward with a little sexual encounter to start.

The camera fades and we are taken to doggy style sex and it’s Tom Byron and Ginger Lynn. There’s a deep bass guitar riff happening, and we see Byron getting it on with Lynn, meanwhile, we see a shift to see Crystal Breeze, Traci Lords and Eric Edwards having sex as well. So we see juxtaposition with both sex scenes going on at the same time. I hate how these things work, but I get it. This movie was meant for you to see it in theaters, therefore the sex is cut and edited to show two different scenarios, and they are both quite good overall, but it’s difficult to get a chub going as a result. However, it’s a steady focused sexual film with moaning, movement, sweat, and a rock instrumental. No one is shaved, no one is wearing condoms, and the set looks like some random house in the valley somewhere. There’s not much more that can be said about this, the juxtaposition sucks, going back and forth between sex partners is stupid, and I don’t like how that’s done in the 1980s. However, as far as the literal sex is concerned, it’s fun to see these starts of the past just do it, without having to complicate anything, and if you’re a fan of Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn, you’ll love this opening sex scene as things really work very well. We get two money shots and to the body, and that’s about it.

The sex stops and we see the couples sitting on an old couch. Things are just quiet, before we see the scene change. The scene changes to show Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn sitting on a bed. The lighting is a bit good, and the lens moves in to see the two women start to make out. Soft music starts to play, and it’s a very romantic start to a sexual romp between Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn. The two start to get into the sex, going with oral, scissoring, and getting close together. They move around a great deal and start to moan a bit, enjoying the process of sex, before we see a man join them. After a while of the two enjoying the process of lesbian sex, Peter North shows up, and he’s hard. The two kiss while Peter North masturbates until he cums on their faces. This is a very unique little sequence at around 23 minutes. North really goes hard here, and cums a lot on the two, it’s even done in slow motion to show off the art of the sexual element. There’s a little sexual component to this, at one point it looks as though Ginger Lynn gets doggy style but it’s not a long sex scene with North involved. Lords doesn’t get involved with the sex, other than getting oral.

We move next to a den and there’s Tom Byron and 3 women. The host says that the ladies will have a good idea as to what to do next, and that’s when they get nude. Beverly Bliss, Crystal Breeze, Shery St. Clair, and Tom Byron start to have sex here. It’s a four some that starts with Byron getting blown soft, and it appears to be a struggle for him to get hard even though he has 4 women on him. The women are all brunettes, all natural, curvy, and look a bit older. Byron looks so young here, and eventually he gets hard enough to have sex. It’s obvious that he’s not that into the women here, and while the music starts to get louder, the moaning comes through as well, and it’s interesting to see this scene. It’s a bit awkward, but eventually Byron gets into it, even though the women are over acting. Eventually, Byron gives a money shot and that’s the end.

The scene switches and we get a little interlude between Tracy Lords and Tom Byron before we are taken to another part of the house.

The next part of the house features Sheri St. Clair, David Sanders, Marc Wallice, and Peter North. Sheri St. Clair has large natural breasts, a thin frame, and way too much makeup to make her look a little younger than she is. She’s got a full bush, has long curly brunette hair, and it’s interesting to see her here. She gives the guys a blow job here, and they aren’t that hard. It’ funny to see the dudes struggling and eventually getting harder. Peter North especially is not hard, as St. Clair tries to put two penises in her mouth, and they are not that hard. It’s funny to compare size here. The rock music is good here. The men go forward with having sex, and the highlight here is a double penetration point. There’s a DP sequence while St. Clair blows another guy, and it’s not half bad. It’s rare to see DP in these movies, so it’s interesting to see this one, and there’s no condom of course. Eventually all the dudes cum and that’s the end.

We are taken to a patio where Traci Lords and Tom Byron talk, and like to stay a little longer. The two then move to the inside of the house, some romantic saxophone music plays, and we see a shift.

This time around we see Tom Byron and Traci Lords making out in a bubble bath. Lords reaches Byron and starts to blow him. He gets hard fast here, and you can tell that he’s into the process, and has chemistry with Lords. He’s done several scenes with Lords at the time of filming this movie, so it’s known that they are good together. There’s some reciprocating oral before Traci and Tom start to have sex. The sex stars, and you can see that Lords gets wet for Byron, and the two have sex on some tiles while the bubble bath starts to dissipate a little. This is a simple sex scene, doesn’t last too long and eventually gets Byron to cum on Lords’ backside and that’s it. This is a simple sex scene that doesn’t last too long, mind you, and then just ends.

After the sex, we are taken to a hallway where Tom says he needs to get going home, but the host says that there is one last activity that he should stay for, and that’s a group sex scene. Crystal Breeze, Ginger Lynn, Sheri St. Clair, Traci Lords, David Sanders, Eric Edwards, Marc Wallice, Peter North, and Tom Byron engage in an orgy to finish off this movie. I’ve seen plenty of porno movies and different stories that have come from them, and this ending sequence is not that titillating. There’s just too much going on here, and lots of camera switches with different focuses. You don’t really know who’s who here, until you start to get a few shots that pull away from the action. While this is functional, and I know that the people involved are having sex, and for the most part are enjoying the process of filming this scene, you can’t really get that focus that you need to get too excited. The camera is everywhere, doesn’t stick around with many of the couples, and just keeps going forward between everyone having sex. All of the sex ends, and we see Tom Byron say that he’s had enough sex.

After the sex ends, he gets bitten. Then smoke comes through the scene, and the men and women all say that he’s one of them now. They keep saying, “you’re one of us now”, and he’s scared, but he’s been bitten, and you find out that this has been a vampire ritual, and they all have fangs! What a twist ending! Tom Byron has been bitten and we see that he’s now a vampire too! That’s the end of this film, and wow, what a weird twist of fate.

I give “Lust In The Fast Lane” a 3 out of 5.

I would give this less of a score but that ending really got me, and it was interesting to see a porno movie with a twist ending like that. I haven’t witnessed a lot of twists and turns in porno quite like that. As for the sex, it’s ok, Traci Lords is fine in it, nothing special to remember, and the rest of the crew did ok as well. It’s kind of a short porno movie that really doesn’t pick up until the end where things really get wild. If you’re a huge fan of Lords, perhaps you’ll want to get this one, just not in the United States. Other than that, meh, I can’t say much more about this one.

Big Game (1997) Review

Big Game (1997) Poster

Today we go forward in time from the last review, and we see ourselves in the 1990s. We will be visiting 1997 where we pick up a movie with a higher budget than most, and a full story that would’ve been easily put in a movie theater had this been in the 1980s. This is 1997 of course, so it’s not filmed with such high resolution, but there are some artsy elements, and the movie starts with some great introductory elements. The movie that we are going to be reviewing today is none other than, “Big Game” from 1997. The movie was directed by David Stanley and was distributed by Arch Angel. It has all the elements that you’d expect from a 1990s movie, including some of the stars. The stars of this movie include, Coral Sands, Sindee Coxx, Tiffany Mynx, Randee Lee, Tom Byron, Felecia, Billy Glide, Alyssa Love, Don Fernando, Jay Ashley, Melissa Hill, and Stephanie Swift. Is “Big Game” any good? Well, let’s find out by looking into what goes on in this movie from 1997.

The opening sequence lets you in on the story. You are told about three women that are on trial, and it’s a media story. The newscaster talks about the women that are on trial and why, and then we move forward to the court room. The courtroom set is really good, and quite interesting. The set features a real courtroom with all of the bells and whistles that you’d expect. A witness is called to the stand, and within 3 minutes we get thrown into the action of sex.

Coral Sands, Sindee Coxx, and Tiffany Mynx get involved with a sex scene where all of them get involved. Sindee Coxx has a strap on, and the other women just get undressed. Two of them are blonde, and one is brunette. They are all thin, have nice curves, long legs, and large breasts. They each moan, and at times scream as they are eaten out, and use their fingers on each other. This is a hardcore lesbian sex scene and has a great deal of passion involved, including the moments where the strap on is used. Coxx doesn’t have large breasts ,I take that back. There’s a bit of anal at one point, and for the most part these women seem to be very interested in pleasing one another, not just playing up for the camera, which is a good sign. There’s a decent soundtrack to this, and the sex is adequate for the most part. This seems like a lengthy seem by the 10 minute mark, even though it’s not that long, and well, it works for the most part, but it’s not something that that is going to get many people into. I think there’s a lack of camera work at times, and while Coral Sands screams at one point, there’s still something that is intangible here, and I’m not sure what it is. It’s a decent opener, and some good overall screams and moans, with an interesting setting, that being the judges desk inside a courtroom, but other than that, I am not sold. Of course, we see an audience, including Tom Byron. Tom Byron plays Frankie The Fishing Cowboy, and it’s funny watch the interval.

After the quick comedic routine, we are taken to a random bedroom where Tom Byron has called a pretty lady. He’s in a makeup chair and asks what the woman in the bedroom is wearing, meanwhile the makeup artist is starting to rub him and then starts to blow him.

Randee Lee and Tom Byron start to enjoy themselves, while Byron is in the makeup chair. Randee Lee is a tanned skin brunette, with a curvy body. Tom Byron has dyed blonde haired in this sequence, and we see the two start with a blow job. The director sends us to the bedroom where Melissa Hill is listening in on the duo and pleasing herself while on the phone. This scene has a duality to it, that is unlike the 1980s hard cuts, as we get sent back and forth between Hill masturbating with a dildo and Tom Byron getting it on with the makeup lady.

All of this is interesting, and during the sequence we are sent to another room where Steven St. Croix is in an interrogation room or somewhere with a wire, listening into Melissa Hill’s conversation with Tom Byron.

The director goes back to Randee Lee and Tom Byron, and they are having sex now. There’s no condom here, and it’s a slow moving progressive sex scene. Lee is pretty, in that southern California style, with augmented breasts, and tan lines. The music here isn’t terrible, the set is a warehouse makeup chair and desk, and the director lets you see all of the points of insertion. Despite the good production, and music, the two don’t seem to have much chemistry together, and that really makes for a boring scene. I hate when there seems to be a lack of passion, and it shows here. Byron and Lee do their jobs, but that’s it, it just looks like a job and they keep going through the motions, and that’s it. It happens. At the 22 minute mark there is anal, of course. It’s a slow start as usual, and it goes forward a bit before concluding the entire scene. During the anal scene, I noticed that there was a dip in sound design and quality, and while the two did get into the sex a little more, it lacked that passion that you’d expect from sexual partners. You’d have to see this to understand, but it’s just robotic to me. There is a cum shot at the end where Tom Byron cums on Randee Lee, and then we see Melissa Hill finish herself with a vibrator, and that’s that.

We see Steven St. Croix listening in and figuring out what is going on, before we go to a new scene.

The next scene we see Felicia putting on a towel, and a man is at the door. It’s Billy Glide and he comes into the house. Meanwhile, Sindee Coxx gets up and looks for something to wear, and then shows up. Sindee Coxx here has large breasts, blonde hair, and a great bit of makeup. Meanwhile, Felecia is a short, thin, and tanned woman with tan lines, and brunette hair. Coxx gets on her knees in front of Glide, and then an orchestral music soundtrack begins, and we see the sex start. Billy Glide, Sindee Coxx, and Felicia start with oral. Felicia for the most part sticks to giving Sindee Coxx oral, while Billy Glide and Sindee Coxx engage in something else. Coxx starts to blow Billy Glide like there’s no tomorrow, a sequence that raises the bar on the movie within a moment, and I’m impressed with it overall. Felicia rims Coxx at one point, and that’s interesting to see, and the director has his hands full trying to capture the threesome here, as they all seem to be into what is going on. Felicia pulls out a dildo, and starts to work herself into a frenzy, while Glide goes in with Coxx and just goes forward with relative ease. Felicia is on one side of a cream couch while Glide and Coxx use the other side to have sex. Glide eventually cums on Coxx’s butt and that’s it.

Coxx and Glide discuss Steven St. Croix for a moment, and we see him in a wheel chair. There’s been an accident, and he’s now being “weird”.

After that scene we are sent to Mickey G. and Stephanie Swift sweaty, in bed, and a phone call comes through.

We are sent to where a trio of women start to talk to Steven St. Croix, and he wants the women to kill someone. Stephanie Swift says that she doesn’t kill. Then he says, do you know what “Fucking” is? And then we are sent to a threesome sex scene.

The scene shows off Alyssa Love, Billy Glide, and Jay Ashley having sex. St. Croix shows the women the sex scene, and it’s spliced into the scene with an interesting focused and distressed camera lens. It’s almost like watching MTV from back in the day, while St. Croix talks about why he wants someone dead. As for the sex, it’s horrible. It’s slow, it’s mediocre, and Alyssa Love seems to just be there. Even when there’s an anal moment, it’s just a slow moving, and workable scene. At one point one of the guys doesn’t even have an erection, and is getting blown, making it an awkward sex scene. Eventually we get a money shot, and that’s that. This is perhaps one of the worst sex scenes I’ve reviewed since opening up this blog, even though there’s all the components that you’d expect from a sex scene, including Alyssa Love getting two money shots in the mouth.

We move along to a hallway where Stephanie Swift is talking to Don Fernando. She’s pretty here, young, with glasses. She tells Don Fernando that she doesn’t have the rent money, and that she can do something else if he wishes. To that avail, Stephanie Swift takes her top off and looks stoically into the camera while she gives Don Fernando a hand job. Swift asks Fernando not to touch her, but he keeps touching her breasts. The sequence is just a hand job sequence until he cums, and that’s it. He cums and that’s the rent paid. He cums on her dress, and then they look to see who’s watching and it’s Mickey G.

Mickey G. runs down to the apartment, and confronts Stephanie Swift. Swift says that Mickey G. doesn’t want to know her, and that she’s a bad girl. Soft music starts, and we see Mickey G pull out his penis, and start to stroke it. Meanwhile, Stephanie Swift is in the bathroom by herself and she starts to masturbate for the camera. The director contrasts between the two, and they are solo, in separate rooms of an apartment. This continues and doesn’t lead to anything big, and that’s it.

The scenes switch and we are taken to a brown couch. Another brown couch in a random apartment. Its here that we see Tom Byron and Melissa Hill starting to kiss and fool around. An instrumental track starts, the lighting is a little dim, and the two seem to have a lot of chemistry together. Melissa Hill has a unique face, reddish hair, small breasts, a skinny frame, long legs, long arms, and tan lines. She looks like someone I knew in high school, and she really gets into the beginning of this sequence with lots of kissing, and then oral from Tom Byron. The two progress to take off their clothes and then start to have sex. They go through multiple positions, and no condom, with Hill moaning a great deal and even screaming at one point. She seems to really enjoy this, and the two work up a real sweat in the sex that is had here. I found it to be a better sequence than any other one in this movie, and since I’m a fan of Melissa Hill, it was a real joy to see her bouncing on Tom Byron. This scene saves the rest of the movie if you ask me. After a lot of positions, some sweat, and changes there’s a cum shot to Melissa Hill’s face, and the end of a good sex scene for a change. I do put down a few points because someone was messing with the boom mic and it was in the edit, so that was dumb, but other than that, this was a great little romp of sex.

After the sex there are a few non sex scenes and we see the women from before in masks put a bomb onto Tom Byron! That’s right, they strap a bomb on him in an attempt to kill him. We don’t see the bomb go off or anything, so that’s something. But we do see the women in jail, so obviously they got caught. We are returned to the court room, and that’s when Stephanie Swift is on the stand. A tape is played, and we are taken to the bedroom of Mickey G. and Stephanie Swift. This set is nice, darkly lit, with candles, and silk sheets. The two are romantic with one another, naked in bed and just kissing lightly.

Stephanie Swift and Mickey G. go forward with a simple start, kissing, and then masturbating facing one another, and then out of the blue, Stephanie Swift sticks her foot into Mickey G’s butt. I kid you not, this is a first for me in these narrative style porn movies. Her food, almost to the ankle goes into Mickey G’s butt hole, and she moves it around while he masturbates. This lasts a few minutes before Swift jumps on and starts to blow him in a casual, and steady blow job, changing the fetishes to normal, I guess. The two then start to have sex, but the camera doesn’t show you a lot of the insertion, and then we get a money shot. It’s a scene that is quite interesting, as it is a bit tame, and then we see that Stephanie Swift was dreaming all along!

We see Mickey G. hearing the radio in a new room where Melissa Hill is and he finds out that someone is going to testify against him, and he gets upset. Melissa Hill tries to comfort him, and we are taken to another scene after this.

The next sequence shows Felicia and Sindee Coxx having jailroom sex together. The set here is a jail house looking cell, and the two are naked, and just start to have sex with a lot of oral, and a lot of moaning. Felicia screams at one point, her tan lines are so pronounced here, and Coxx does well to get her to cum several times. If you’re a fan of legitimate sexual experiences between porno stars, then here you go, one of the better sequences. It doesn’t last that long, mind you, but it works well enough to further the story and to titillate.

After the jail house sequence we are taken back to a bedroom where Melissa Hill and Mickey G are in the throws of passion. This is a fast scene, the two work very quickly to get into the sex, with Melissa Hill blowing Mickey G to start, and then letting him penetrate her, and go through multiple positions. She doesn’t even take off all of her clothes, just enough to see her breasts, stockings, and penetration. The two have sex against a marble wall, and the lighting is a bit dim, while you look into their pushing and moaning. At the 2 hour and 10 minute mark there’s a slow motion cum shot and that ends the movie for the most part.

After Mickey G cums, they look over and see Steven St. Croix in a wheel chair and Stephanie Swift standing in the hallway. The two look on in, and then go outside. Stephanie Swift walks around to where Steven St. Croix is, and puts her hands on his shoulder. The two share an intimate moment of reflection. Swift then sits on St. Croix and the two just hug. The wheelchair is pushed into the waters of a pool, and that’s it. Piano music plays and the two just sink, and the camera watches them go below the waters, and they kiss. They kiss hard, and they float a bit up, as the music moves forward. It’s a miracle Steven St. Croix legs start working again! The two kiss and the music continues, and that’s the end.

I give “Big Game” a 3 out of 5.

There’s really only a few scenes in this whole movie that really got me excited. Melissa Hill is a goddess in this one, and the rest, well it works for the most part, but if you’re not a fan of the women or the men involved you may not like it. I didn’t think it was that great, even though it had a long plot that had a lot of non-sex scenes in it. I’m sure that there will be fans that like it, but I can’t give it more than 3 out of 5.

You can purchase “Big Game” and see what you think about it, as it features a great deal of stars, some sex, and plot that you don’t always get with these types of movies. You can click HERE to stream it, download it, or buy it on DVD for a discount.

I Love You Molly Flynn (1988) Review

I Love You Molly Flynn (1988) Poster

Today we are going to be heading back to the 1980s. We talked modern yesterday, but today, we are going to hit our time machine and visit the 1980s. This is 1988 that we are visiting, and we are going to be looking into a movie that was distributed by VTO and was directed by Fred J. Lincoln. This was a movie that was sent to movie theaters, etc. Moving along the way, we are going to be visiting the 1980s and seeing some of the stars that you can probably guess. This movie is called, “I Love You Molly Flynn”, and it features some standards from the 1980s. The stars of this movie include Angel Kelly, Billy Dee, Erica Boyer, Joey Silvera, Randy West, Sharon Kane, Tom Byron, and Trinity Loren.

This movie starts with an original theme song from the 1980s, and features a lot of colorful elements. The theme song starts and then we see the cast come through with cheesy 1980s graphics. This is definitely one of the movies that went to the movie theaters, and it shows. The production values are high here, with interesting graphics, fonts, and overall design to the start. It’s almost like the entry of a sitcom, only with spliced in hardcore sex, but it features something endearing about it as well. Once the credits roll we go into the movie’s plot.

The opening shows Randy West talking to a blonde haired woman and he talks about well he’s dressed and how cleans up. They talk about how he’s going to meet with the president. Then a servant comes in, and interrupts them. The servant says that there’s someone to see Molly Flynn, and it’s none other than Joey Silvera. Flynn doesn’t want to see him, and is upset that he’s come back again. The two talk, and Flynn pushes Silvera away, stating that they are not like they were, and she’s not interested in his advances. That brings Randy West down to see what is going on. Silvera is introduced to Flynn’s new love, and we get moving forward with an awkward introduction, and your standard starting line for a romantic comedy. Despite Flynn not wanting Silvera to hang out, her new man invites silvera to make himself at home, and the couple leaves him downstairs while they rush upstairs.

We are sent to another scene, and it’s Flynn discussing the situation with Angel Kelly. She says that there’s an unexpected guest and that her ex is now in the house, and things are going to get complicated. She’s venting to the help, Angel Kelly is a maid for Flynn here.

We are moved to another scene, and here we see Joey Silvera and Tom Byron talking to Angel Kelly, talking about having some fun, but then Silvera is pushed aside and Tom Byron gets into things.

Tom Byron and Angel Kelly start to make out on a red couch, and the camera swipes to a blow job. Angel Kelly is an African American woman with a thin frame, short hair, and medium sized breasts. She is a beautiful woman, and Tom Byron still looks like his boyish self. There’s romantic music playing to start, and Angel is works her magic with a fast blow job and hand job combination that nearly forces Bryon to cum within a few minutes. The music continues, and the scene moves to oral for Kelly. The two move into a few positions, the most prominent being reverse cowgirl. The camera focuses on an artsy movement, and you don’t immediately see the penetration. It moves with the music, and eventually we see the two having full blown sex, as sweat starts to bead up on each participant. The music here is really good, the lighting is great, and while Tom Byron looks to be in “work mode” Kelly really gets into the process, squeezing her breasts, and moaning a great deal. After several position switches, and a good amount of time, the finale comes with Angel Kelly giving Byron a hand job, and him cumming in her hands, which is a sight to see as she really knows what she’s doing. The two kiss lightly and the scene ends.

There’s a swipe and we see Joey Silvera roaming around the house in a blue tank top. Joey Silvera knocks on the door of Molly Flynn’s bedroom, or what seems to be a bedroom. Silvera comes in and tries to kiss her, but Flynn says that she’s with someone but Silvera tells her that he misses her and the two start to kiss a little more, even though Flynn, played by Trinity Loren, does not want to get moving forward, saying that she’s with Andrew, and that he’s amazing and doesn’t want to cheat. The scene ends with Randy West refusing Trinity Loren’s advances.

We then move forward to see Joey Silvear cooking in a kitchen with Molly Flynn, aka Trinity Loren, and they just talk. They are talking about cooking, and whether they want Silvera to cook full time etc. Silvera discusses the issue of cooking, and catering, and whether they want him to stick around long term, and more. It’s an interesting conversation that happens without any sort of sexual advancements.

The movie changes scenes and now we end up looking at a random den and it’s Trinity Loren and Joey Silvera talking about old times. Silvera puts his hand on Loren’s breasts and tells her that she should relax, and then the two start to make out a little. Silvera proceeds, and Loren caves in.

Trinity Loren and Joey Silvera start to undress, kiss, and engage in sex. Trinity Loren is a young looking, blonde haired beauty, with large natural breasts. She wears stockings and a pair of silver high heels, as she begins to blow Silvera. There’s romantic music here, and the two start to have sex on a brown couch. Why is every couch in the world brown? Answer me that?! I’m just saying it’s really generic. The scene starts with some of the most romantic piano music I’ve ever heard in a porno, and the sex starts slow, with a focus on the blow job that is so simple, and yet somewhat passionate. There’s no condoms, Loren isn’t shaved, she has a full pubic mound of hair, and Silvera isn’t shaved either. The two start to have sex, and for once, the scene looks like the two have a great deal of chemistry together as they start to get into the action. At one point Silvera squeezes Loren’s breasts and she sucks on the nipples herself, while Silvera goes in and out of her slowly and then sped up. This is perhaps one of the best 1980s sex scenes that I’ve seen in a long time, as it is passionate, and definitely more than just pure sex. The two trade positions a couple of times, and it gets a little harder and faster, with Loren moaning quite a bit here. After a while the two end up on a coffee table where Silvera goes between Loren’s breasts and then cums for the finish.

After the sex, we are taken to the kitchen where Randy West encounters Erica Boyer. Erica Boyer is a curvy dirty blonde, and she has classic 1980s highlights in her hair. She’s quite lovely here, compared to another scene that I saw her in where she and a dude were playing with a penis pump and he got massive before going in with her. There’s 1980s techno music that starts, and then we flash back to another scene.

The director flashes back to the brown couch where Joey Silvera and Trinity Loren are having sex, and the two are looking into each others eyes as Silvera goes all in with her. It’s a 1980s thing for the director to cut from sex to conversation to sex, and it’s mainly to give people in the movie theater a break between strokes, so that they can’t keep it up throughout, I assume. The finish here shows Silvera cumming on Loren’s pubic mound for the finish, and the two look into each others eyes and kiss, and it’s a nice little element overall.

We are taken back to the kitchen, and it’s Erica Boyer and Randy West. She has made him something to drink, it looks like a shake, and she talks about the ingredients, as the two talk. Erica Boyer gets on top of the counter and starts to give Randy West a little bit of a look while she rubs her breasts. Randy West tries to make conversation, but Boyer keeps trying to get him to touch her and kiss her, which he keeps trying to avoid. He can’t resist too long.

Randy West and Erica Boyer take off their clothes, and get on the counter for a starting point of oral sex. Boyer receives as Randy West and his stupid looking mustache go down on her, and then things switch up and she gives him a casual blow job. It’s slow, there’s romantic music that comes in, and West keeps talking about how amazing it is to have her mouth on his penis. The blow job continues through the scene, but the director decides it’s time for one of those infamous cuts. I kid you not, right when things are starting to get good, the director decides to cut to Trinity Loren talking to Silvera.

Silvera and Loren discuss how they made a mistake. They see things differently, but the sex is over, and Loren regrets getting moving forward with the sex. Silvera is proud of what happened, and Loren eventually walks away while Silvera is sitting with a grin.

The director cuts back to the kitchen, and that’s where Randy West is going all in with Erica Boyer. There’s once again good lighting, a nice counter top, and romantic music throughout. I’ve seen Boyer in a lot of other scenes, so this one is a bit tame, she seems to enjoy it for the most part, and West works up a sweat. Boyer is screaming at the 46 minute mark, and West is in full work mode, as the two share a connection after some time that is quite fascinating. They trade several different positions before Boyer eventually gives West a hand job and has him cum in her face and mouth. As she finishes West off Loren walks in on them, and he knows he’s in trouble.

At this point I got distracted. The main reason why is because this movie was dubbed in French for the copy that I got. “Do you speak French?” No! Then I realized that the movie wasn’t in French! It’s in German! Holy crap, how is it that I understand German? I don’t know, I can’t explain it, but I know what they are saying and perhaps I’ve watched too much porno.

We are taken to a room where Silvera, Billy Dee, and Randy West are smoking cigars and talking about what they do, and how business is going. Billy Dee talks about the changes that are going on in his industry, something about exporting things. Then Billy Dee starts to talk about a conquest he had while on a work trip, and in comes Erica Boyer.

Before they get too far, the director cuts to Loren and another blonde haired woman just talking.

The director goes back to the brown couch and we see Erica Boyer blowing Joey Silvera, while Billy Dee is in doggy style going in all the way with her. Again the romantic music kicks on, and the trio have sex on the brown couch in a somewhat passionate way. Silvera and Boyer do a lot of kissing here. And it’s fascinating to see overall.

The stupid director cuts again, and we are taken to a dining room where Randy West meets Sharon Kane. Sharon Kane is a blonde haired woman with short hair, red pumps, and she commands Randy West to give her oral. Randy West says that he can’t, because he is with someone and can’t just go in. Kane tells her to shut up and start going down. Then she insults him. So he gets on one knee and starts to give oral to Sharon Kane, but the director changes the scene.

The scene changes and we are back with Erica Boyer, Billy Dee, and Joey Silvera on the stupid brown couch. This time the positions have switched and Boyer is getting plowed by Silvera.

The director cuts yet again and we see Randy West giving oral to Sharon Kane. Kane reacts with a lot of moaning and vibrations, but the editing once again stops things.

We get taken back to the Erica Boyer, Billy Dee, and Joey Silvera trio of sex, for about 2 minutes and they are all in with their sexual positions, but that’s not good enough. The director cuts again.

Another cut and we are taken to Boyer in reverse cowgirl with Billy Dee and she’s orgasming wildly, and it shows. It’s a good piece of footage, and one that is much longer than the director lets you see. Meanwhile, Joey Silvera tries to get hard and masturbates, and it’s a bad little element that I noticed. The director cuts again.

Sharon Kane blows Randy West on a dining room table, the same romantic song is still playing overall. Kane is wearing red lingerie, and reminds me of an escort I once met with a Romney sticker on her SUV. West isn’t huge here, and while he’s hard, you can tell that he’s just the average sized dude, but can seem to last forever.

The director cuts, as per usual. Boyer is blowing Billy Dee and Silvera at the same time as the two get ready for the money shots. The two start to masturbate wildly in a race of who cums first, and it’s not a terrible little sequence, but I don’t know how they can synchronize this sort of thing. Eventually both cum at the same time and that’s it, and Boyer is watching and laughing and seems to enjoy the whole thing.

The director cuts again, and this time we still have that romance in the air with the music. Randy West is now having sex with Sharon Kane on the table, and the two are making out while he pushes his pelvis into her deeply. They exchange a few positions and while there’s a bit of moaning, it starts to look a lot like mechanical sex, as the director asks the couple to slow down a little, and they oblige. It’s romantic with the song, and Kane asks West to finish, and hurry up. The chemistry seems lost at the one hour and 8 minute mark, and while this is still sex, it’s just not that good. After some reverse cowgirl on a chair, West cums onto Sharon Kane’s pubic mound, and Trinity Loren walks in and sees the goings on and calls Andrew a bastard. Randy West plays Andrew, and then Joey Silvera and Billy Dee walk in as well and laugh.

The screen fades to black, and we are taken to a staircase where Randy West and Joey Silvera are talking. The two are getting a real heart to heart about the nature of love and romance. They found out a bunch about each other, and the sex that goes on. Randy West feels bad, but Joey Silvera gives him some advice about how to get Loren back.

In another scene the plan goes forward. Joey Silvera and Randy West play fight in front of Trinity Loren. The winner gets to have her. Loren watches the two and Silvera pretends to knock out West, and he goes down. Then we see that Loren loves West more than Silvera, and stays with him.

Trinity Loren and Randy West start to kiss. Loren is taken aback because he got knocked out, but he says that he’s fine, and there comes the romantic music. The music starts and we are taken to a well lit bedroom where Trinity Loren starts one hell of a blow job on Randy West. The blow job here is epic, and Trinity Loren has such a good body, and her hair is so nice with minimal makeup here. The two really get into this sequence, and it’s one of the best sex scenes in the movie. After a swipe of the camera, the two get into the sex, and it’s good, with Randy West going as hard as he can with Loren, and Loren moaning throughout. It’s a fascinating push forward, with the two actually seeming into what they are doing, throughout the short sex romp. Eventually Randy West gets between Loren’s breasts and then cums. The director shows their faces, then shows the sequence, and it eventually the cum shot appears and that’s that.

Moving right along we see that Randy West and Trinity Loren have decided to get married, and Silvera congratulates them as they leave. That’s the end of the movie, right? Nope!

Right when you think the movie is over, in comes Angel Kelly. She talks to Silvera, and they start to kiss and then get into the sex. The sex is quick, on the brown couch in the den, and the two just go through the motions. There’s no major oral here, there’s no major foreplay, it’s just straight forward sex. Silvera looks to be in work mode and for this round Angel Kelly seems to be less than enthused to start, but the two eventually pick up the steam with the backdrop of romantic music playing again. After some position changes, the two end up in close proximity with Kelly giving Silvera a hand job until he cums, and that’s the end. He cums hard, and Kelly watches it all go down, and that’s that.

I give “I Love You Molly Flynn” a 2 out of 5.

There's not much more I can say about this one. This movie is plagued with problems. The women are pretty, the sex is just boring, with the exception of a couple of scenes. The romantic music really is awful.