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| Blonde Forces (1991) VHS Cover |
The opening scene features Mike Horner helping Carolyn Monroe break into her apartment, because she is locked out. He has a bucket of chicken, a 1980s mustache, and Monroe is a California blonde, with small breasts, and a slim body. She invites Horner in to her home, and then asks him if he’d like to have sex, and well, he obliges, and the two start on the couch. The set is hilarious, with a 1980s look and feel, flowery pattern, and the rest is pretty much what you’d expect. There’s music that plays here, but for the most part, it’s the sounds of the two having sex. It starts a little slow, and you can almost sense Carolyn Monroe having cold hands as she starts to blow Horner. She then gets him going, and the two position themselves for a quick sexual romp. Horner seemed to have a hard time getting it up at some point, as he’s not a huge guy, and while Monroe gets it up after a while, it’s obvious that there’s chemistry issues between the two. After about 10 or so minutes, Horner gives Monroe oral, the music gets turned up, no condom is present, and the two start working out their sexual frustrations with each other. That lack of chemistry diminishes, and the two seem to work well together, going through the motions and positions on a couch. Horner eventually finishes on Monroe’s back, but the camera doesn’t capture that. Horner finishes and then gets thrown out of the house, as Monroe’s lover has returned, and that’s the end of the first scene. Less than 20 minutes into the sex, this movie is a bit boring, but hey, not all of them are going to be epic, I’m sure.
Horner jumps into an open apartment window, and there’s Savannah. Savannah wants him, and Horner has to decline. Meanwhile, Peter North is in the hallway of the apartment complex, and well, he is looking for Sabrina, and well he runs into Savannah. Savannah really wants some, so Peter North decides to give her some action.
If you’re a fan of Savannah, then you’ll no doubt want to see this scene. She blows Peter North after he comes through the door, and it’s not half bad. North gets hard fast, the ultimate professional, and Savannah’s bangs and blonde hair are perfectly in place, as she goes to town on North. There’s a hint of 1990s 16 bit music underneath the scene, but mostly, you hear North and Savannah’s movements, kissing, and overall noise from the bed. The set is well lit, a bedroom from the 1990s, and nothing too complex or anything that is going to take away from the action. The duo go through multiple positions, and it is evident that North is more into it than Savannah. I’m not sure if Savannah ever had a scene where she was all in, but here she seems to be a little reluctant at around the 34 minute mark. However, seems to start enjoying it a little more as North goes deep into her, and just keeps going with a rhythm that you may have seen him work with in the past. Savannah keeps her heels on, which is sexy, and the two just get through a working scene together with Savannah announcing that she’s going to cum at around 34 minutes and 50 seconds. The director’s a bit clumsy, so you don’t see a lot of the penetration, but rather the bumping and grinding. You also nearly miss the money shot as Peter finishes on Savannah’s stomach. It’s not a great scene, and the director really should’ve backed up a little to see more of the action in the frame, but that’s just my two cents.
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Moving forward, we get a scene with another blonde, this time it’s Valhalla and Joey Murphy going through the sexual motions. Murphy is on his bed when Valhalla comes through the window. He’s dressed like a genie, and he blindfolds Vahalla before starting to give her oral. She then blows him, and then the two start to go through multiple positions, back and forth, with a soundtrack that is lower than her moaning. It’s a jazzy guitar riff, I think, but Valhalla’s moaning is mostly what you hear. Joey Murphy is a long haired dude with a strong sex drive, and doesn’t seem to have any problem thrusting fast, and hard with his partner here. Valhalla is a blonde, tan, skinny woman, and Murphy has some serious abs, and is built. The two go through the motions of sex, and it’s not half bad here. The two have some good chemistry together, and the director actually shows you more of the penetration here. Murphy’s hippy genie garb is funny to look at, and he makes it a comedic element at around the 51 minute mark, as the two go forward with doggy style for a good portion of the sex. Murphy eventually cums on Valhalla’s butt and that’s the end.
Moving forward, it’s time for the lesbian scene. Carolyn Monroe and Savannah meet at Mike Horner’s apartment and the two start to go through their own little sexual romp. There’s piano music accenting the moaning of this scene, with the two women exchanging oral, using their fingers and that’s about it. If you’re a fan of lesbian scenes, then you get two blondes going at it, here. It’s not bad, but it’s not the most sensual and chemistry filled scene. It’s decent, but the piano music interested me more in this scene than the actual sex. The lighting is off in this one, and the camera keeps moving, which makes it tough to really watch. It’s ok at best.
After the lesbian scene, we get one more scene, and it’s got a lot of chemistry. This scene is one of the best scenes I’ve seen in a while, and it’s Mike Horner and Holly Ryder going at it. Ryder gets wet from the near start of the scene, and Horner kisses her inner thighs a lot, and she gets about as wet as you can get without lube. I was actually surprised by how wet Ryder was, because this is usually not the case for porn sometimes, and well Horner was doing well. Ryder was not shaved, she’s a dirty blonde with curly hair, and Horner for some reason turned her on in this one a lot more than the other scenes, and it’s interesting to see watch. The synth 1980s music gets turned down a bit as you hear Ryder moaning for dear life and really getting into everything Horner throws at her. There’s a bit more foreplay from Horner to Ryder, before he finally puts his penis in her, and thet wo really work through the motions with Ryder nearly screaming at one point. It’s a fast paced sex scene, and it’s chemistry filled, sensual, and hot. The two don’t go through that many positions, but it’s so hard, and Ryder’s so wet that you can’t ignore how good this scene is. The director keeps you in the action too, noticing that the two have chemistry, and allowing them to just enjoy the process, rather than trying to direct the action or make the camera swivel. If you’re a fan of screaming, and loud sex, this isn’t half bad, and really does a good job of putting together a good sex scene. It ends with Horner cumming on Ryder’s stomach and that’s the end of the movie.
I give “Blonde Forces” a 2 out of 5.
One great scene doesn’t save the rest of the movie, although it can sometimes. Not this time, though. While I appreciate Savannah’s body of work, she didn’t seem that into it in this one, and was quiet throughout. Maybe it’s just this movie, I’m not sure. Other than that, there are a few moments where you really lose yourself, but the director has bad timing and editing. The final scene works well, and the two really have something together, making it easy to watch, and finish if you’re trying to get off to this movie.
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