Sperma-Lust (1991) Review

Caroyl Lynn's "Sperma-Lust" from 1991

For this review we are going to 1991. Back to when the cover made you want to rent a movie, and see something sexy. That being said, this movie takes us to a foreign land, to see Carol Lynn, Dirk Braeter, Eric Benson, Corinne Helner, Dietmar Z, Marine Cartier, and Gabriel Pontello in the classic, “Sperma-Lust”. I don’t know anything about this movie, other than it’s a foreign movie, and it has film grain, and looks like a real movie, not just a gonzo flick. That doesn’t mean that it’s going to be any good, etc. It’s in a foreign language as well, so I can’t really speak to what they are saying. This movie was directed by Harr S. Morgan, and was distributed by Videorama. It was part of the Carol Lynn Pictures company, and was released in 1991.

We move forward to a scene where Carol Lynn is playing chess with an old man. She is getting thrown out of a home, and then the old man is helping her. We move in and out of different scenes that is in her imagination, and it involves sexual fantasies, and a random dude talking over cum shots, and random moments that are to come. This is an odd introduction of sorts, but the music isn’t half bad. Carol Lynn looks like a sister of Traci Lords, blonde hair, innocent looking face, and natural breasts. She has that European look, slightly open mouth, nice bright eyes, and an innocent look to her that makes this an interesting movie.

As Carol Lynn walks through her home, a random short dude shows up. He looks like Mtv’s Beavis, and brings her a phone. On the phone it’s a dude speaking German, I think. I can’t tell the language, sorry. But she listens to the phone, and then gets instructions, while the due just waits on her. I’m assuming it’s a butler. Carol Lynn sits down, and Dirk Braeter gets to his knees, and we get some soft piano music to start the sex. Carol Lynn is not shaved, and she starts getting oral from Dirk. Dirk has full pubic hair too, and he seems to please Lynn with relative ease. There’s a techno beat that starts, and the two engage in the most robotic of sex, with barely a moan from Lynn, and Dirk looking like he’s just lucky to get some, which makes this first sex scene a bit problematic on several levels. At this point, I start to realize that the set is not bad, the lighting is good, and the film grain makes this movie look more important than it really is. However, I found the sex itself, the pure sex to be boring. I get it, a millionaire is on the phone and wants to listen to the sounds of sex, but it’s mechanical and boring to say the last. There are multiple positions, and the background tapestry is cool, but Lynn’s subtle moaning, and final cum shot on her chest was just not worth price of admission. I got bored, and well, that’s not a good thing for a movie, but I must admit the set design is killer, so there’s that.

We move to another part of the mansion. I can only assume we are in a mansion, because Carol Lynn goes outside for a swim, and it’s still on the property. Lynn swims up towards Eric Benson and a blonde having sex on a diving board. The woman is only credited as “Girl”, but she’s a skinny blonde with medium size breasts, while Carol Lynn comes through with a black one piece swimsuit. Benson gets blown until Lynn comes in and starts to go with the lady and blow him, getting a duel blow job, and the techno music begins again. The scene is outdoors, has an orange tint, and is a little more enthusiastic compared to the previous scene. The girl is not fully lesbian, and it shows, with Carol Lynn forcing some of the movements here and there. Benson goes from position to position easily, he’s fully shaved, and anal looks good, but the women try to make it a little smoother, and it’s just not good. Lynn keeping her bathing suit on is still fascintaing, but the sex is just between Benson and the girl with no credit. After the cum shot, Lynn swims away, and that’s it. The camera shows Lynn going away and going back into her house.

Inside the mansion, Lynn goes and moves a chess piece, and then just looks at a list, and that’s it. It’s fascinating to see how pretty she is in a one piece swimsuit, in a porno that is meant to be far more sexy.

She goes out of a door and there’s a woman there with bondage gear. She hands it over to Lynn and she starts to get dressed. The two women go down to a garden area, and that’s where a woman in red fishnets is getting plowed by a random dude, while two other guys are masturbating. The performers here include, Christina Stevens, Carol Lynn, Corinne Hefner, Dietmar Z., Dirk Braeter, and Eric Benson. There’s some techno coming through, and then we see the guys take turns with the woman, going in and out. Only one woman has sex here, and after the guys cum, it turns into a lesbian scene.

After the orgy, out Christian Stevens, a tall blonde, and Carol Lynn start to make out and have sex. The two start to kiss one another, then go into oral, and more. It’s a lesbian sex scene that seems to be more prominent than the other solutions overall. It’s a short scene, and does’nt get too hardcore before Lynn decides to leave.

Going forward, we see two women talking, and after some chess games, in comes in Dirk Braeter again, and this time he gets hard with Christina Stevens. Christina Stevens wears a tight black leather dress, and has big hair, and she pulls it up and lets Dirk get in from the rear. She moans a bit more than Lynn, and the two get started in doggystyle, while standing. The setting here is a real kitchen, with obvious German elements, including glasses, pots and pans, and more. The two go through three different positions, and eventually Dirk cums on Stevens’ pubic hair, and that’s it.

After the kitchen sex, we see Marine Cartier walks into a hallway, and there are two naked guys waiting for her. She’s fully shaved, and she gets on a small tuffet and starts to suck off Dirk Braeter and Eric Benson. She’s passionate here, the music shifts, and it’s not bad. Cartier has black hair, is thin, fully shaved, and has a unique look. Meanwhile, Christina Stevens watches on, and gets heated. The sex is fine, there’s anal, and there’s oral, and out comes Stevens to help too, but before it ended, we get cut to see Stevens talking to Lynn, and then back to the sex. The return sees double penetration, with Marine Cartier getting it in two holes, while Stevens gets in close to watch. This is somewhat slow moving, and just goes forward, if you’re a fan of DP, then you’ll like how this scene turns out, with the juxtaposition of Stevens’ fingernail polish, the two guys going in and out, and the camera staying in the action. Christina Stevens, Marine Cartier, Dirk Braeter, and Eric Benson goes well here. The DP cums ends with cumming in both holes, well outside of the holes and that’s it.

The sex stops for a whlie, and we are sent back to the ktichen where Caroly Lynn and Christina Stevens start to talk and just speak to the past, and the future. They talk lovingly.

After the talking, Dietmar Z. Shows up and he’s naked, and hard. Carol Lynn starts to jack him off a little, and then sucks his cock. She is enthused here, and Z really gets up for it, as Lynn starts to really get into it, then he shoves aside a few things, and the two start to have sex on the table. The dud’s facial hair is epic here, and he’s not big, he’s just wide, and goes all in on Lynn. THis is a short sex scene, finished off by Z cumming on Lynn’s chest, and that’s it. Lynn moans a lot more here, and that’s that. The same kitchen set as before, mind you. After Z cums he leaves, and Stevens comes back to the ktichen to see what is going on, and rubs the cum all over Lynn’s chest.

After these scenes, Lynn is thrown out of the mansion, and runs into Gabriel Pontello. He gives her some sweet talk, and she gets on her hands and knees to blow him. The two stand up, kiss, and Lynn’s top comes down a little, then we see some stand up doggy to end the film, in a short manner. Pontello and Lynn have a short minor sex scene, with a lot of focus on Lynn’s moans and hand as Pontello pounds aay into a finish line that is somewhat less about passion and more about completing the task, and eventually cums, while Lynn furiously masturbates at the same time. SHe moans and nearly screams at one point, and that’s the end, end of the line.

I give “Sperma-Lust” a 2 out of 5.

This is not a great movie. The film grain is good, Lynn is attractive, but the sex overall is just robotic, with the sole exception being the 9 minute ending, which Lynn really gets into because she masturbates at the same time she’s getting pounded, and Pontello keeps pushing until he can’t hold on any longer. The director’s editing sucks, the music is horrible, and the lighting is hit and miss. However, as far as a European sex film, it works, and in a bind, you’ll probably like it.

What’s Butt Got To Do With It (1993) Review

WHat's Butt Got To Do With It (1993) 

Today we are going to be moving back to 1993 for a movie that was directed by Nic Cream, and has some good production value up front. The movie moves fast, and the story is simple, with production quality that is on the tip of the VHS scale. There is no film grain here, it’s comedically bad, but hey it’s 1993 and this is another movie. The movie we are going to review today is, “What’s Butt Got To Do With It”, and it stars Janet Jacme, Julian St. Jox, Ariel Daye, Tina Tyler, Lyndon Johnson, Ron Jeremy, Persia, Diana Knight, Dave Hardman, and Dick Nasty. These are not exactly all amazing names in the industry, but hey, they are in this movie from 1993, and we are going forward fast.

The movie starts with the credits, then we see a woman at a microphone about to sing. Her producer comes in and says that she’s singing wrong and that she’s stupid. He then goes off screen, and music comes through. We see things stop, and a large breasted blonde woman gets up and goes off screen. Then we see the singer and another woman talk, and the two discuss how the music world is so tough unless you give up something.

There’s a hard cut, and we see random women dancing around, and just shaking it. The sets here are real, the shadows point to that. They are not warehouse sets, this is someone’s apartment or house somewhere in the valley of southern California. The women dance for their producers, I’m assuming, and that’s about it. There is a lot of back and forth between the scenarios, and ultimately we end up with a Arsenio Hall looking dude, and an asian woman. Then there’s a random moment where it’s no longer the asian woman, it’s a short hair blonde. I’m not sure what the director was going for here, but eventually we see what I assume is Janet Jacme and Julian St. Jox having sex. This shifting camera angles and random moments, is just odd to me, but the sex starts and that’s ok. The two go through a few positions, both African Americans, and the lighting is terrible here. We get a couple of positions before Jox cumus, this involves anal at one point, and Janet swallows, and that’s the end of this scene.

After the scene ends, we get sent to a scene where a lady wants to be with her man in bed. He is writing, and he says, leave me alone, I’m trying to write. She tries to engage, and he’s not having it. The scene is very dark, the camera is very close, and shaky, and the lighting is horrendous here.

The camera switches and we are sent to a porn set, with hard lighting coming from the 4th wall, and shadows being cast all over. THere’s a dark green couch, and two brunettes kissing and taking off their dresses, while an African American woman starts to play with herself. This thruway features Ariel Daye, Persia, and Tina Tyler. The scene features oral, scissoring, masturbation, and lots of kissing. It’s slow moving, there’s not a lot of moaning, and it’s kind of boring if you ask me. I think these women may not be bisexual, as the performance leaves a lot to be desired.

We move to an outside scene and two women are talking. Apparently one lady is getting abused, and her man is cheating on her. She said she just needs to do one more album and things will be good. We then move to another scene.

This scene shows Ron Jeremy talking to the record producer, and he says that he wants to record an album with Spike and the Tina Turner impersonator, of sorts. Remember this is a parody of the Tina Turner story. The two argue, and then the producer tells his maid to suck on his friend, Ron Jeremy.

Lynden Johnson is a tall blonde woman with large breasts, and she takes out Ron Jeremy’s member to suck on it and that cues the music. The bass heavy music is horrible, the lighting here is again bad, but the set is a real house. This is not a warehouse set, this is someone’s house, so the lighting is a lot better, and the set dressings are also very good. Jeremy is not as fat as he is now, and he is ready for action as soon as Johnson starts to grab at his penis. Jeremy is killer with the one liners, and here is a good example of what a great performer he has been in the past, and well maybe in the present as well. He gets sucked off well by Johnson, whom I’ve never seen before in movies. “Must be from the virgin islands”, Jeremy quips, as he gets sucked off from Johnson. The sex is fine, she doesn’t moan a lot, and Jeremy spouts one liners as he has sex, and it’s not horrible, but the two lack chemistry, and it shows. Eventually he cuts on her face, and we see the end, and hard cut to a new scene.

We move to a patio party where all the industry insiders are hanging out, and then move to the inside of the house, and it’s our main character and Spike talking about leaving. She’s packing a bag, the outside is just talking, and things are going down on the inside. He says she cant leave and he owns her, and then we get a hard cut to the outside. Outside two women talk about how life is just stuck in a repeating pattern.




We then move to see Persia and Julian St. Jox talking, and while the ebony woman dances, the music kicks in and we get into a new sex scene. This time around it’s not bad, but it lacks that chemistry that you would expect from two people that actually want to have sex. This is a mechanical movement, and Persia is hot, but Julian St. Jox can’t wait to do anal, before he cums, and so you see that rush into sex, and that’s that. It’s not great, it’s not good, and well, it works. This is a warehouse setting, and the lighting sucks again, the music is lackluster, and the film grain just doesn’t work. This is duct taped together for sure.

After the scene, we get to another sequence where the main character wants to leave and she’s ready to go. But out comes two guys from the FBI and they flash their badges and say that our main character needs to come with them. She pleads her case, and she gets on her knees, and starts to get in on the blow job action. Diana Knight here gets into the sex, she blows Dave Hardman and Dick Nasty, and it’s not that good, but hey, she’s doing her job. This is done at someone’s house in a garage somewhere, and it’s lackluster, but it works in a pinch. There’s no DP here, it’s just threesome in the garage, before the film cuts out for me. Maybe there’s a resolution, but by the time I finish this thing, I’m ready for another drink and want to give up on it all.

I give “What’s Butt Got To Do With It” a 1 out of 5.

This is perhaps the worst movie I’ve reviewed thus far. Not even Ron Jeremy’s classic acting could save this picture. It’s horrendous, but hey, that’s just one man’s opinion.